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File: 5a5802412c616a0⋯.jpg (194.73 KB, 1277x1280, 1277:1280, 5a5802412c616a083791932ca2….jpg)

A board based on 420chan's personal issues board. Any discussion of problems pertaining to motivation, social life, relationships, family issues, education/work experiences and personal problems is welcome here.

Shitposting will result in a temporary or permanent ban, and posting content that is illegal in the United States will result in a permanent ban. Illegal content includes but it not limited to explicitly illegal pictures, inciting others to commit illegal activities, and requesting others to aid you in the pursuit of illegal activities.

Shitposting litmus tests:

>Does my thread OP discuss personal issues by any stretch of the imagination?

If the answer is no, it's probably shitposting.

>Is my reply related to the OP, other replies in the thread or board discussion in general?

If not, your post is likely a shitpost.

File: 3006e3b57e13b30⋯.png (9.06 KB, 300x100, 3:1, banner 2.png)

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8 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2425

>>2416

File: d565a207a4ceec1⋯.png (857.5 KB, 985x561, 985:561, tosh.png)

I'm not a shut in neet, I have a full time job, in decent shape, and while not attractive, certainly not ugly. yet I just can't talk to people. I have no friends, no love life, and it bothers me to no end, yet I can't help but be quiet as hell around others, which I know makes things awkward as hell, other people probably think I'm weird or a freak or something.

25 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2367

>>2350

It's easier said than done, don't you think?

No.2374

>>2367

Sure, I never said it was easy. I just hoped I could reframe the situation for you so you can see how fucked up the whole thing is, and maybe compel you to bolt from that place as soon as you can. And that certainly does not involve paying off your father's bullshit demands.

No.2412

>>2053

It's fucking easy, just pretend to be interested in people's mundane little lives and keep the conversation going by asking questions which cannot be answered with "yes" or "no". Respond to their comments by relating it to something in your life with a similar theme and pretending to find it interesting. People love talking about themselves and you'll seem like a likable sort who shows genuine interest in their concerns and passions. The real trick is to do this without feeling nothing but boredom inside.

No.2422

>>2374

Maybe someday, I really want to leave, but I need to plan how to make it work. Thanks for the advice, i will keep it in mind. You have been really helpful and I really do appreciate it.

No.2434

>>2412

>The real trick is to do this without feeling nothing but boredom inside.

I still can't make it past this one.

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>kicked out of Brown for having sex in his dorm

>dad kills himself shortly afterward because his business tanked, probably because his son would likely be a failure in life too

>makes enough money to buy a couple of failed Atlanta radio stations

>sells everything to buy a cable tv station

>names it WTCG (for "Watch This Channel Grow")

>buys up rights to old televisions shows because they're cheap and constantly plays them as an alternative form of family entertainment to the limited channels during those days

>needs to have the channel classified at news, so airs fake news at strange hours in the morning that basically parodies the superficial talking heads of the day

>channel turns into a huge success

>develops Turner Broadcasting System (TBS), which would eventually grow to include CNN, TNT, HLN and Cartoon Network.

>CNN tanks, he loses large portion of his fortune and a grandchild in the same year

>to top it off, his wife leaves him too

>manages to recover and is now the second largest landowner in the United States (was the first until 2011)

>throughout the years founded the Atlanta Braves, created Captain Planet and has had a major influence on global politics through his donations to the UN

>all for a college reject whose dad killed himself

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Turner

5 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2248

File: ad296dc84d435b2⋯.jpg (161.48 KB, 354x400, 177:200, 1455261292288-0.jpg)

Varg.

No.2377

File: ae5fdf900baef70⋯.png (271.42 KB, 850x400, 17:8, Anders_Behring_Breivik.fw.png)

File: 9bf37975545ea6f⋯.png (362.86 KB, 850x400, 17:8, timothy_mcveigh_2.fw.png)

File: 8dec1b848c29cf3⋯.png (337.08 KB, 850x400, 17:8, eric_rudolf.fw.png)

Eric Rudolf, Tim McVeigh and Breivik to be honest.

No.2411

File: e1ba65e198512c7⋯.jpg (252.67 KB, 988x1280, 247:320, e7f9d94deadf3c8489e1f5ff41….jpg)

>>2158

Not so popular with an icepick in your brain, are you Chad?!

No.2414

File: 9c492a9265fc3be⋯.jpg (58.01 KB, 476x342, 238:171, laffin adolf.jpg)

>>2411

I laughed.

No.2433

File: 6672f9b5cc2f519⋯.jpg (230.64 KB, 2242x1320, 1121:660, tfw you're Hitler.jpg)

Glad to see that the resident hotpocket is so tolerant. Let's just pop this back up, shall we?

File: 3d655bb159a0274⋯.jpg (863.57 KB, 2560x1440, 16:9, IMG_0892.JPG)

Sam Hyde turned me onto this. Incredibly relaxing in an autistic way. Really makes you focus on resource allocation and keeps you glued to the screen for hours.

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2418

>>2404

Euro Truck Simulator 2 is a great game for relaxing, just driving along and listening to some comfy music, it's really nice. I've not played the American one yet, but I'm sure it's just as good.

No.2419

File: 9529fa2bd039755⋯.jpg (38.37 KB, 796x592, 199:148, Blank _3ed208b759871f0e876….jpg)

I always thought The Sims 2 was a pretty chill game

No.2428

File: ff6f525034632d5⋯.jpg (60.32 KB, 460x215, 92:43, recettear.jpg)

This.

No.2431

File: 9cea338233ca972⋯.jpg (236.44 KB, 1440x1080, 4:3, pajamasam.jpg)

No.2432

>>2431

lol, my brother and I had to have played the Pajama Sam and Freddy Fish games hundreds of times where we were young. Brings me back.

For anyone interested: check out gog.com if you're interested in nostalgic games. They have great distros for games and a lot of extra content included with your purchases.

File: 9737fa5320970cd⋯.jpg (56.91 KB, 550x456, 275:228, 1465428084622.jpg)

So I want to move out, I'm 22 and have a good savings, my parents let me stay in the house after 18 but I have 9 siblings, all younger so staying is a bit of a challenge.

I've been thinking of moving, as I feel ready.

>got car

>full time job

>got gf

PROBLEM IS:

Everything is so fucking expensive in relation to how much I make and save. I make 10 bucks an hour, average rent around here is 700 for a 1 bed and 1 bath. Not counting utilities that come out to 200 usually.

I make 1600 a month before taxes. 800 a week but after taxes it comes out to 650 maybe. Which is not all bad right now as I spend 220 a month on cellphone, rent (50 at parents), a gym membership and car insurance. Than I pocket atleast 275 per paycheck.

But I still qualify and can meet the minimum requirements for a small apartment. I thought about getting some friends or even my girlfriend in so I could live reasonably but none of my friends live or work like I do! My gf is unemployed or only worked shitty under the table jobs part time and lived paycheck to paycheck. My friends either don't have jobs or work part time as well and most don't have cars or girlfriends for that matter.

YET everytime I want to chose the best of my friends to live with me, they have some standard that has to be met, I.E. they must have their own room, nigga, how do you think you should have your own room when you don't even have a full time job!

6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2361

>>2359

Still getting jewed hard. Get a cheaper phone, and find a better insurance provider.

No.2365

File: 514dbb6fd287590⋯.jpg (70.57 KB, 547x500, 547:500, 1488563290906.jpg)

>>2220

There is no excuse for making $10 an hour, let me give you some advice. You need to get a higher paying job and move out ASAP, don't get stuck at home paying for other peoples bills, that is what I did. What do you do for a living? I make$32 an hour as a union electrician in a major TX city, starting out with no experience we pay half of that so $16. I made$75k last year and I turned down A LOT of overtime because I enjoy my time off. I know people that make $110-120k a year. You could also make that much working off shore but that life is not for everyone. You want to find a job that requires considerable skill but no college if you want to get out now. Things like being a machinist is a good choice or other technical jobs or building trades. There are more building trades than you think, pipe fitters, plumbers, electricians, control wiring techs, fire alarm, elevator installers or even company techs working for people like Lutron on their proprietary systems. Pay will vary as will the difficulty of the job both mentally and physically. The best option from these in my opinion is being a union elevator tech, they make around$45/hr and have GREAT benefits/retirement. When you first start expect to work hard and do the shit work, later things will get easier for you. Chemical plants also pay decently. Look for apprenticeship programs or local unions. I don't know enough about IT to comment on that option but I think a lot of that is being outsourced or the workers being imported. At your age I was making more than you and that was 15 years ago (yes I'm old). If you are in a large city there are opportunities there, stop being a beta and improve your situation instead of waiting on things to magically get better. You can be making $15+ in no time and be on your own in a year easily. Oh yeah, and if you are white start having white kids soon. If you aren't white, don't have any kids, they will just hold you back. ;) No.2380 >>2365 Don't you usually need to know someone in the union to become an apprentice? No.2381 >>2380 No, not really. You normally have to just present you academic records and perhaps take an entrance exam. You will never know if you don't try. You don't have to be union to make more than$10 anyway. Most people aren't union.

No.2430

File: b193ee83600e519⋯.jpg (393.49 KB, 900x885, 60:59, 325234325.jpg)

>>2365

>What do you do for a living?

I currently work as a sales admin at a promotional group. I was a receptionist at my previous job and was there for about 4 years.

I am going to take your advice though and start looking for apprenticeships with some of those people you mentioned. Hopefully I can find weekend apprenticeships until I leave my current job as I do want to have a year of experience with this place on my resume in case things go badly.

You are right and I need to take responsibility for my life in order to make money and get my feet off the ground. Thanks for the great advice anon, any more you can offer would be great.

Especially with children and marriage because I am white and have a gf of two years but I am not so keen on the kid thing.

File: 7eaf24b84ae097a⋯.jpg (53.17 KB, 1080x608, 135:76, dinosaur man.jpg)

I want to be more productive but can't manage it.

For one, I don't feel pride for what I do. I have a want to create but feel like everything I do is shit. Even when I look at my past works I should feel proud of or when I get compliments from friends or fans, I don't feel a reaction. There's been times where people asked me to show them what I do or recognized my work, but I hesitate to respond.

I also often feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing when I'm working, so I get discouraged. This is probably part of why it's incredibly hard for me to produce content consistently. I've noticed I haven't been able to get into flow states as much as I used to when I was a teenager.

To add on top of that, I feel guilty when I'm not creating something. I often waste my time browsing 8ch or checking my contacts for no good reason and it stresses me out, but at the same time I seem to be afraid of starting something new, so I end up in this sick cycle. I'm still relatively young but I'm not getting any younger, and looking at my peers succeed is making me feel inadequate.

I don't know if these are all the same problem or not, but I gotta change something. My creative work is the only thing I'm any good at.

20 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.664

File: 174a6311587efd7⋯.gif (838.9 KB, 500x281, 500:281, nagisa saying more shit.gif)

>>660

I don't mean it quite literally, I just mean to tell you that I think people are happiest when they find joy in the easiest things. I wouldn't enjoy media that I have to work for. It's not a black pill, it's some kind of… Coze pill, and it's the only advice I can really give. I'm sorry.

It's a boy, as an aside.

No.683

This is what I did to make myself feel good:

Make a plan where you achieve one or two things per week. And then try to stick with it. After some falling and standing up again you will be able to raise the number of things.(Not low effort things of course)

Then you will ascend.

No.765

>>663

Too expensive and I don't like the idea of relying on substances to get shit done. Also not easy to get where I live.

>>683

I am pretty awful at organizing myself, so this is probably worth trying. I set up a trello account a while ago, keeping a list of what I need to do and got done might make me feel better.

Thanks anon.

No.1711

>>683

Like what kind of things? How substantial do they have to be?

No.2429

>>395

Make a video game.

File: 4a5af73c94449be⋯.jpg (209.07 KB, 750x948, 125:158, hobo.jpg)

When was the last time you cried?

15 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2409

File: 12bc7986240bbc4⋯.jpg (57.84 KB, 497x497, 1:1, plsnobully.jpg)

>>2016

pic related

>>2013

if you mean full on crying and not just watery eyes when a dog dies in a movie then it was my junior year of high school, so like 5 years ago or something?

No.2415

>>2406

I'd say the cops and city officials are worse than the dealer, at least he's not violating his responsibilities to the public.

No.2421

>>2322

Get off of Effexor dude. I nearly killed myself while on that. I weaned myself off it by opening up the capsule and taking out an increasing amount of the little beads each day. Found a video of it on Youtube or something. It's probably better to go by a doctor's advice on how to wean yourself off it though. I was just pissed that my doctor gave me that crap in the first place. The withdrawal isn't that bad compared to benzo withdrawal.

No.2426

>>2421

Yeah, it is dangerous as fuck. I have never felt like I was truly mentally ill until trying to quit this drug. Full-on mania, crushing sudden depressions (I only suffer from moderate depression when unmedicated, nothing like this crap). The only way to prevent these problems seems to be ever increasing dosages.

No.2427

>>2426

>the only way to prevent these problems seems to be ever increasing dosages

Which is absurd in itself because increasing doses makes it even harder to taper and eventually quit taking the medication.

File: c36dd16a996a394⋯.jpg (85.27 KB, 600x488, 75:61, 1397500473040.jpg)

I know I could just try to fuck/date every new girl that comes around but 9 times out of 10 they're high-maintenance and bitchy pseudo-narcissists. I want someone kind and compassionate that isn't absorbed into social media. I hate having to put up that hard exterior, and a thot is just one more person I have to guard myself around.

I've really never tried to seriously date before now, I lost my virginity only a month ago to a 5.5/10 greasy beer-slut. How do I meet quality girls?

28 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2299

>>2298

That entirely depends on your priorities, if "meeting quality girls" as mentioned in the OP isn't part of your plan, then sure, it's a big waste of time and effort.

No.2310

>>2292

It's a holdover from earlier times. Mating is far more demanding of women than men; compare blowing a load to being with child for nine months and then having to raise and take care of it.

No.2312

>>2310

The man would traditionally have to work hard to provide for both the women and the child though. If we are talking purely reproduction then fair enough. Although the situation changes when there is a surplus f women, rather than the modern western world where there is a surplus of men(and it's getting worse via refugee crisis as it's almost all young men)

No.2314

>>1743

You don't. Enjoy the ride that doesn't end, mane. Blackpill aside, I think it's really a right words in right place at right time deal. Unless you are in some reclusive Congolese village, you should have a better set of circumstances than myself.

>>1747

Seems about right, but where the hell do you find those?

No.2420

>>2238

Marijuana is my crutch. Smoking socially or even by myself is all I look forward to, and if I go more than a day I get anxiety/agitated

File: c3de90c2c5590e5⋯.jpg (118.59 KB, 1000x887, 1000:887, IMG_0817.JPG)

I have USB's, disks, and even a laptop devoted to collecting online stuff. It's usually films, TV shows, Anime, books, videos, music, Video Games, Pictures, and other misc media and stuff, but I've also started adding leaks, hacks, doxes, Documents, webpages, and other stuff like that to my collection.

I like to call it "archiving" and fancy myself a sort of scholar, but it's more like digital hoarding of some sort. I'm barely even interested in the stuff that I have, it's just cool to say that I have all of it, more so with this TPP trade deal threatening to take down content en masse.

No.2334

>>2333

Holy trips

No.2363

File: c48b72b26c48e8d⋯.jpg (78.83 KB, 600x454, 300:227, ttl_lf10.jpg)

>>1248

Yep.

5Tb of movies/music/tv-series/anime/books

1Tb of old PC HDD dumps, my previous hoard from USB HDD and other assorted junk (including 40Gb of more-or-less sorted images/webms)

2.5Tb of 'bulk' data (web traffic recordings, archived data, scraped media from imageboards)

800Gb of porn

No.2383

>>1248

The good news is that Trump killed that off months ago. The bad news is that he still might screw you over in some other way, so keep it up.

No.2401

File: 8c60aba37630cf4⋯.jpeg (546.83 KB, 450x456, 75:76, 20th.jpeg)

sounds like you have some cool shit

im in some weeb-type hobbies myself, all my drives have been lost as i've had to move around continuously ever since 2006 or so.

i wish i still had all the stuff from back then and earlier so badly. i really envy you.

also alot of stuff from my hobbies can't be found anymore. all the DCC bots and torrents that used to serve things that seemed so prevalent 10 years ago are gone, and those files, games, and albums have been lost to the ether.

you're doing a good thing. if you're stable enough to hold onto that stuff, i can see how it might feel boring. but you're doing something important. from the other side of the coin, i say, good on you and keep it up.

i kind of have a feeling the further time goes on, these things that we share for free will be worth alot of money, as digital backups are not as permanent as they might feel. the longer time goes by, the rarer copies of things become, bootleg or not. already people pay top dollar for arcade HDDs of games only a handful of people have the backups of anymore. i think these things that are now free will one day be very valuable as only a select few will be able to maintain their archives. if i was you i'd be putting things on tape, to be honest.

No.2413

File: 9eb9ed274bbb45d⋯.jpg (45.38 KB, 425x426, 425:426, vlt.jpg)

>>1248

I really got into hoarding Porn. It Reached a point that it got very time consuming to manage the collection properly, and the fact that i also collected almost every video of an actress i liked, with picture galleries, made the amount of files explode. I also had large themed content folders, with huge amounts of Video i mostly skimmed through to sort and make place for new files. That started to bother me because it wasnt that enjoyable anymore, it started to feel like work really.

So then i started to cease downloading and reviewing my collection, what was a lengthy process because i needed to sight alot, sort out alot, got "distracted" alot, had fallbacks where i found some really good stuff i forgot and just needed do get more.

Now I'm down to a (healthy?) 6tb, still in the loop of reducing, falling back to downloading too much new stuff. Its just not as fun anymore a sit used to be when it begun being a "hobby".

Oh well, its just a side stage of my many addictions, one just needs to be careful to keep it positive. Its not easy to really recognise when you are over the edge of doing it in a harmful way, i guess you just blend it out when you dig into your obsession.

I had a videogame and movie-collection too years ago, spent alot of time on it. The thing with the DVD-rips was that there was a point when my collection was just too bad in quality, meaning the video resolution. I didnt even watch most of the stuff and thought that it i already "wasted" alot of time hoarding stuff that somehow lost its value for me over time, I didnt want to go through the same again and donwload everything in better res. Then i deleted it almost entirely. It felt relieving in one way, but disillusioning in another, because i spend alot of time on creating local html files with movie posters and information about actors, movie reviews, background info etc., that i deleted along with everything else.

My digital music Collection is the most fun and pleasure for me at the moment. I just do it once in a while and my workflow is kinda ok so i dont need to spend alPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

File: 7f2790b2136f68d⋯.jpg (34.62 KB, 480x640, 3:4, 1478225448021.jpg)

I know this type of thread is probably posted here all the time, so sorry in advance if this annoys anyone but What happened to me? What happened to my motivation? I have none. The fact that I am even writing this out is frankly amazing me. I have no drive or initiative, I can barely even force my self to do necessary bodily functions like eat or go to the bathroom, I just lie in my bed almost all the time. I don't even do anything! I don't jerk off or go online or play games, I. Just. Sit. There. I don't know why and I don't know what to do or how to fix it. If any of you went through this in the past, have any tips on how to fix this, or anything else that could possibly help me in any way please share… I'm so tired of being like this I just want to be able to do things again but physically can't bring myself to do them

11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2229

Sounds like you're just depressed.

I personally think that taking meds is just bad for you, you get hooked on them, you become dependant on them to function in your day to day life, and in the long run they fuck you by giving you even more problems.

It's normal to have bad moments when this happens, everyone has them. How long has yours lasted?

No.2389

>>2065

Hi I forgot I made this thread, I don'e use this board very much so I didn't check it, sorry. Yes I am still in school I am not a NEET thankfully and I really don't see myself becoming one, homeless on the other hand is a very real possibility

No.2392

>>2113

Due to a mix of financial and religious reasons which I really have no urge to get into I cannot take med

>>2225

This sounds like a great way to burn energy but I don't see it helping me very much or myself sticking with it

>>2229

I've had this for a while now, Its gotten to the point where I will spend more time in it in my life than out of it I really can't give you a time period because I honestly don't know, but its been awhile

No.2395

>>2060

Life can be a chore. Want a recommendation?

Do something that raises your senses.

You live in a city with abandoned buildings? Climb over the fence and explore at 3 AM.

Live near nature or large natural parks? Go for a hike in the middle of the night. Don't take anything with you, not even your phone, and keep going until you feel "something".

Take acid or mushrooms. Hell do the things listed while on them.

Feel the world, rather than just looking at it.

I felt like you for a long time, but I experienced that danger (more than the things listed) would snap me out of it.

Modern life is like a vapid film of which you know both the plot and the ending. And it's all build around not doing anything legitimately dangerous. It's not surprising some people feel completely lethargic in the face of it.

What's the most dangerous or outrageous thing you've seen someone do these days? What's the most extreme thing someone can do in the mundaneness of modern existence? Earn a lot of money?

Separate yourself from the established dogma. Move outside the edge. You'll figure out eventually what I mean. And avoid pills if you don't want to become a complete zombie.

There's a whole world out there that modernity has made invisible.

No.2405

>>2395

You give good advice so thank you, but I've done the things you've said all ready and them some, I've been in a lot of weird or dangerous situations, but the effect never seems to stay afterwards, its only in the moment which is fine, but I need to make it go longer

File: dd7b4b7e8b8af57⋯.jpg (52.98 KB, 450x337, 450:337, cyberswim.jpg)

I am only speaking for myself here, I do not wish to defame any gays or lesbians who might be reading this. After a bit of introspection, I came to the conclusion that the only reason I am a homosexual is because I felt really shitty about myself back in middle school, and considered several more popular males to be examples of excellence to aspire to. At this time I recall having a highly abortive relationship with a girl, of the sort that is common at that age. However, my feelings about the people I looked up to gradually morphed until I had developed crushes upon them all. I went from desiring a girlfriend for the sake of the relationship itself, to desiring one to be like my idols, to being attracted to them more than any girls. I accepted that I was homosexual at age 13, and so I have remained for 6 years.

A sexuality based upon an inferiority complex, where feeling affection for another is always paired with feeling poorly about myself, always seeing them as better than I, cannot possibly bring me any measure of contentment in life. I would like to get my psycho-sexual development back on the course from which it was derailed all those years ago. I have already deleted all of my porn. How do I proceed, or should I just accept that the damage has been done and resign myself to a lifetime of unhealthy relationships? I could plausibly see a psychologist or something, but I expect that a professional might not grasp the nuance of my situation and just tell me to have more pride in myself.

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2394

>>2390

>Increase your own sense of self-worth

How do I go about doing that?

>Find the things that attract you in men, and look for them in women

I don't think that that quite reaches the root of the issue. I would still see myself as inferior to any partner I might have.

No.2396

>>2394

>How

Apathy is one. But I recommend distancing yourself from what is seen as the "ideal" these days. What are you striving for in life, or rather, what are you trying to live up to?

Let that go and things will become easier.

>I don't think that that quite reaches the root of the issue. I would still see myself as inferior to any partner I might have.

It really starts with self-worth and seeing inferiority as a prerequisite for attraction. It's possible to admire aspects you would never desire yourself to have.

I like women that are emotionally shallow and not dependent on me. It's easy. But it's not a trait I wish to have. But I admire it nonetheless. You can too.

No.2399

personal gay story: I remember seeing hardcore porn magazine Penthouse, which unlike Playboy had pictures of fucking including the men. This was the mid late 90s when internet was 28.8 to 56k at best and internet porn was rare and hard to get from your parents PC.

I remember seeing another man's erect dick for the first time and I honed in on it like a fucking magnet. No words. I even clipped out the pic and then cut out the dick itself, cause I didn't find the guy hot. I did this to a few other things where there was a hard cock, I'd save the pic and hide it and jack off to it. THis was around age 13. Come age 15 and I have a PC with 56k in my room and used thehun.net for easy free porn. But the images of nude girls did nothing for me. I kept going to straight porn and focused on the men and their delicious cocks. Eventually I tried to look at and get horned up by beautiful nude women but it wouldn't happen. I literally couldn't get hard off the image of a nude woman. I tried to train myself but it didn't work. When I actually went to a gay website, when my family was gone, around age late 14 early 15, I felt such sham,e and reluctance to admit it to myself. At the same time I knew I was kidding myself

now that i'm a full blown adult I've kept my truth in th ecloset. I actually have vague romantic interests in women, I flirted with young love and understand its power, but sexually I only get off to sucking cock and seducing a man to ram his dick up my boypussy. Even now as a full blown adult of early 30s, I keep this hidden from everyonebecause what's the point? what's the point of 'coming out'? People only pretend to respect you and privately disgust yhou wich I fully respect and understand. At best you just find a boy or man you love and live oyur life and only 'come out' when you need to; not hiding, not loudly proclaiming it either. I may do this rout, but even now as an adult I find it more practical and arguably more reasonable to keep it secret and indulge in privacy

No.2400

>>2399

oh and to add to this I had intense crushes on a lot of my guy friends during ages 13-16, and boy were they fucking gorgeous (then and now) so I don't blame myself. I dunno how this relates to what you say OP, about idolizing cool kids and then sexualizing them. I was often the more dominant person socially in my friendships yet I craved their cock so bad, their hot asses and emergin pubescent bodies. I can't even begin, I almost came close to seeing if they would let me suck them off but always held back cause I knew it would end in a disaster.

I dunno OP I think it's possible to keep it secret and tell yourself "it was a phase" and try to move on to a typical/normal path. but maybe you're like me, who also believes that, but who also only looks at gay porn, only looks at straight porn focusing on the guy and imagining themselves as the girl…and though you love a pretty face and aesthetic female body, you just can't get off to a woman. Maybe we are straight up fucking gay in the end of the day?

No.2403

>>2385

I don't label myself because I like adults of both sexes. I find myself fucking a lot of transmen and transwomen though.

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I have no one to turn to for help but to this mongolian cable knitting board, /qq/.

I'm a 28 year old autist who got my Master's of Science last May in geology, and have been looking for a job since. I don't think I'm doing it right. I keep getting told to apply online, but I never hear back from anyone. I've tried "networking", but they tell me to apply online, then I wait a week and call back, and they say they don't want me because I have no field experience. I tried to get an internship during my grad school, but the same thing happened then as is happening now. I don't know how I'm supposed to get my foot in the door to get experience. I've done lab research for nearly 9 years in university. Did I pigeonhole myself into an academic career? I didn't even want to be in university that long, and I fucking hate it here. Just someone please either give me a job or tell me how you're supposed to get one, because I'm ready to kill myself with no challenge, health benefits, or vertical movement in my current $12/hr job. I can't start a family on this shit. It feels like there's some kind of in-joke that I'm not getting with fucking job searching and networking. I don't even know what to do about networking, everyone keeps telling me to use linkedin and I even made a skeleton FB page for myself with normie memes about cats and shit so they can spy on me and think I'm not a paranoid autist. I don't know what else I'm supposed to be doing. My husband has been riding my ass hard lately, he says I should be doing more and he'd be doing so much more than me if his parents had given him the opportunity to go to university. But when I ask "what else should I be doing then?" he tells me he doesn't know and that I should know, because I have the degree, not him. I don't know, however. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing or what I'm supposed to know so I can know what I'm doing. 2 posts omitted. Click reply to view. No.2357 >>2356 You're going too high. Thats transmission. Im talking about local or regional power companies like conEd or xcel. No.2358 >>2352 >My husband has been riding my ass hard lately I don't know shit about geology, but this sentence caught my attention. No.2362 >>2357 >Im talking about local or regional power companies like conEd or xcel. Now this can be the ticket. I'll shoot some resumes around. Do you know if the waste management or water utility sectors would be looking for geologists/stratigraphers, or would they mostly want hydro? >>2358 I wish it was the fun kind, but it's mostly been the "hurry the fuck up and get a job with benefits why aren't you doing more to get a job I expected more from you" kind. It's clear that he's getting antsy and wants kids, but we can't without genetic testing for some pressing family medical problem. We need insurance first. No.2382 Most Geology jobs are in Oil and Natural gas. Both of those industries are highly cyclical and in the shitter right now. Try government and if all else fails, go back to school until the market improves. I would also think local civil engineering companies would have need for a geologist. No.2402 File: 0cfddca528721a2⋯.png (363.7 KB, 564x1086, 94:181, pepe crunch.png) >I'm a 28 year old autist who got my Master's of Science >Just someone please either give me a job or tell me how you're supposed to get one, because I'm ready to kill myself with no challenge, health benefits, or vertical movement in my current$12/hr job.

>I even made a skeleton FB page for myself with normie memes about cats and shit so they can spy on me and think I'm not a paranoid autist.

>I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing or what I'm supposed to know so I can know what I'm doing.

>I can't start a family on this shit.

This is what I fear most in life.

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Whatever you're keeping from others, get it off your chest. You'll feel better.

109 posts and 18 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.2339

>>2336

I can only say "I love you" jokingly. Usually when somebody says it to me by text I leave a stupid emote or something, and I don't often respond if it's said to me in person.

No.2371

File: 0845364c5fd1d2a⋯.gif (1.99 MB, 395x313, 395:313, Unamused.gif)

I just feel like I'm so fucking behind on life. Grew up without direction and just wasted years until I figured it all out myself. I'm starting to feel like there's a clock hanging over me all the time. There's all this stuff I have to accomplish while I'm still "young".

No.2372

>>2336

Yeah. Same with my family. We're basically all just emotionally stunted strangers. I don't know if it's the same for everyone.

No.2384

I was sexually abused as a child. I've never really been able to overcome it, especially in the last few years.

I feel "tainted" by the whole experience and it has pretty much killed off any chance for a relationship. I can't stand being touched. I barely trust people.

I feel angry for what happened to me and I feel angry for existing in the first place.

Only one of my friends knows. And I am afraid of telling anyone else, especially my parents (who've been through a lot).

I just want to feel normal for once. To "un-know" what happened. On top of that I feel unstable and on the edge. I can't even pretend that I'm "okay" anymore.

I feel like I'm stuck inside a nightmare and I can't wake up.

I had to get that off my chest.

No.2391

>>2371

I'm like this as well. And it makes me so jealous of everyone else, I look at other people and I can immediately tell that they've experienced far more during their teenage years than I could ever dream to have experienced up until this point. Everyone's just so happy. They experience hardships just like anyone else, but they're way better equipped to deal with them than I am, so they're happier overall. They have friends they can fall back on, and they're able overcome any situation and come out a stronger person.

I hate it. I hate how I'm stuck in a world where everyone is happier than I am. I want to get out of here, I want to improve, but it's too late. You'd get the craziest looks trying to improve yourself at this age. I can already imagine trying to talk to people, "you're how old? and you're just now (x)?" I don't know why I haven't just killed myself yet, I mean all I have to do is go to a gun store.

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How do I beat internet addiction?

No.2191

throw router out window

No.2369

>>1920

Start limiting your time to three hours per day, and no more than one hour in a single sitting. You will need to fill the void with activities to truly break the habit, however.

Exercise. Learn to jog or ride a bike every morning. Throw in a few stress and push-ups overtime.

If you are unemployed, get a job as to keep yourself busy. If you are religious, try attending your place of worship more regularly.

Pick up hobbies that appeal to your interests. Also, read physical books as another anon had said.

No.2386

At what point should I become concerned about my internet use?

No.2387

>>2386

Like anything else: when you start skipping out on duties you need to perform to keep using it.

No.2388

File: 0756eec750c21ae⋯.png (111.67 KB, 604x387, 604:387, 389751658172572.png)

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