No.15643
Okay… I'm in dire straits right now.
Recently, I found out that my father and grandfather are pedos/hebes. I found out that my father had a pretty long relationship with my half-sister before I was born. It's quite possible that both of them had sex with several children throughout the years.
So, I'm trying to deal with this stuff as discretely as possible, but New York State, in a brilliant move to cause heartache across the region, made it so that just talking to a therapist could get someone in trouble. Being that our society needs a slap upside the head, if word got out about my family… well, you can imagine how much that would suck.
So, I was hoping if someone here with some good legal know-how about New York State law could help me out.
According to what I understand, just telling a therapist that you believe someone is a pedo can trigger a legal tripwire where the therapist is obligated to inform the authorities. I can't verify this information though. I do know for a fact there is a tripwire law in place specifically for underage stuff, but I don't know what can or can't trigger it. It may be a trigger for only in cases where a child tells a therapist things in which they refuse to tell police.
Since this stuff happened decades ago, and I'm pretty certain no one has had any underage sexual relations in ages, I feel like I should be able to talk to a shrink. Fuck if I dare, though.
Any help would be greatly appreciated…
I'm not going to talk about what I'd like to discuss with a therapist, but no, nothing ever happened to me, etc.. I haven't broken any laws…
Thanks
No.15644
Just to clarify, I'm trying to avoid this stuff from getting out to the public.
I've been suicidal for various reasons, and I'd like to speak to a therapist about all of my issues. It's absolutely nuts if I can't speak to a therapist about this stuff.
If I end up dying, the story is going to get out. It's not a threat, just what it is…
No.15645
This board would really not be of much help to you as far as therapy advice will go, most posters are simply going to tell you not to.
Also the law only requires therapists of a duty to inform when their PATIENTS pose an immediate danger, and even then in new york specifically they are still permitted to not report if they act in good faith.
If according to you the past is in the past, you should have some small reassurance of confidentiality.
You can always go in for a trial to ask these questions to some therapists yourself, they certainly get them all the time. You could also get free advice from a lawyer.
No.15646
>>15643>>15644Well, don't kill yourself just yet. If you're not an immediate threat to children they can't report you. Now, the phrase "immediate threat to children" has an unfortunate amount of wiggle room, but since it's not even you, but someone you know, I think that would be an unreasonable stretch. Plus, like you said, this was years ago. It's not the same rules as reporting your friend's ongoing abuse to the school guidance counselor. It shouldn't affect your ability to get help for co-morbid conditions such as depression and anxiety in any event. Just pick a good therapist and be discrete. Don't be afraid to "shop around," so to speak.
No.15647
Also you should be just as concerned about your feelings of suicide and if you choose to discuss them.
Saying "I feel suicidal" isn't going to trigger any reports, but saying that you have specific plans in mind if you ever do decide to kill yourself might, because one is simple feelings and another is deliberate planning.
No.15648
>>15647That's true. Involuntary commitment can be good in some cases, but I wouldn't fuck around and trigger it if I didn't have to.
No.15650
I have major trust and paranoia issues… I need this verified :(
It doesn't make sense to me either, but someone told me that I needed to be careful. Any assurance by just telling me it's gonna be alright… fuck. It's not going to help me, I'm sorry
No.15652
>>15650the only way you can get this verified is straight from the horse's mouth. get legal counseling.
No.15653
>>15650Uhh… How about this? I might have been that guy. Was he like, a loud asshole who claimed to have a psychology degree?
No.15654
>>15652damnit… I've barely left the house in months. I get too anxious to even make phone calls. I'm pretty hopeless
No.15655
>>15654>I'm pretty hopelessNope. It's called agoraphobia, and there are people who specialize in it. I'm a bit guilty of it myself. I really only leave the house to get beer. I just really hate being around people knowing that I'm like, a pedophile.
No.15656
>>15655Yeah, I can relate to that a bit
No.15658
>>15656But seriously. I was in here discouraging people from going to therapists like, 3 days ago maybe? No more than a week probably. Does that sound familiar?
No.15659
>>15656>>15658It's scary out there.
>forgot to put that at the beginning. No.15660
>>15658I'm sorry, I
just came here out of desperation and didn't read before posting… fuckity fuck
No.15661
I'm going to have to have a panic attack before I look that post up
No.15662
>>15660Ahh… then it probably wasn't. But there's no need to be desperate or go look anything up. Just take a deep breath and talk to me for a second ok?
No.15663
>>15661I know it seems crazy right now, but just relax for a second. The night is longer than you think. We've got time to talk for a second.
No.15664
No.15665
This is actually a bit more complicated than if it were you that was the pedo.
You see, as neither your father nor your grandfather are your hypothetical shrink's patient, I'm not entirely sure the confidentiality rules apply to them.
What you'll need to do, I think, is talk to a therapist and ask them outright what they would do with information you give them, while being as vague as possible about who you're talking about and what specifically they did.
Having done that, it'll be up to you to decide whether to trust them. Keep in mind that if there is a present that to any minor, whatever they tell you may wind up going out the window, even if they aren't required to say something, because it may not be forbidden, either.
No.15666
>>15664Cool. Now what are you wanting to talk to a therapist about specifically. Are you just really upset about finding out this information. I guess you said you wouldn't talk about it, but basically, is it this, or something else?
No.15667
>>15665You made me the devil :/
But here's an important question I didn't ask. Are you a pedophile?
No.15668
Go to a therapist, ask them your exact same question here. Ask them about the tripwires. Ask them what would and what would not trigger it…
No.15669
>>15667I'm not sure if you're confusing me with someone else.. i'm using op for all responses
No.15670
>>15669No, I know. But that guy posting bumped my post number up to 15666.
So, are you basically just having trouble dealing with the fact that they've done this?
No.15671
>>15667I am a pedophile. I have been seeing a therapist for years. Neither her nor any of the others who were aware of it got me into any trouble, because I have not posed any specific threat. Talking to a psych is far from a guaranteed trip to the pokey. Sometimes it does require caution, though.
If you handle this right, you will be okay.
No.15672
fuck it…
Okay, I have trust issues. I feel like my father took advantage of my sister who didn't know what love was.
I really didn't want to get into that, because this is super highly debatable in the community.
But yes, I have the urges as well. It's probably my primary orientation, and I just have to deny that.
No.15673
>>15672There is a bunch of stuff in there that I would indeed normally get into it with you about under other circumstances. This isn't the time or place for that however.
The final question would probably be, is your sister over your country's age of consent now?
No.15674
No.15675
>>15674Then I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I mean, you can still kind of "screen them" to find one you like, but if you're not even planning to bring up your own pedophilia, and just want help dealing with your sister's molestation, then I really don't think there's a therapist in this country who would report them against your wishes. They want to help you first and foremost. They're not cops. As you don't go in, sit down, and say, "I'm going to molest this specific little girl on this specific day and I'm gonna start by going in the air vents…" you really should have nothing to fear. It sounds like it could do you a lot of good.
No.15677
>>15672There is no reason to deny your pedophilia. You are unquestionably protected by confidentiality requirements so long as you pose no specific threat that your provider is aware of.
No.15679
>>15677>unquestionablyThis is true, but I wouldn't test it unless you specifically wanna get help for being a pedophile. Personally, I've told a few therapists I was a pedophile, and it's always been fine. I even told one in high school that I had seen cp before and he was just like, "You know that's illegal right?"
>Yeah… No.15680
>>15679It actually helps alot, even if you don't really need help with it, per se. It gives context to your other troubles, and removes the need to circumlocute. Lets you build a much more natural rapport, which is important to the process.
No.15681
I want to deal with it all.
But I'm too mentally ill to handle all of this. I still don't trust that I can say much, if anything. I was really hoping to get more evidence than reassurance.
I feel so pathetic even saying that
No.15682
>>15680That is true. I'm currently trying to go to a rehab center where the guy already knows I'm a pedo, and he was basically like, "Well, that's all well and good, but if you can't pay, I can't treat you as an intern, for insurance reasons.
No.15683
>>15681>I'm too mentally illYou know some therapists treat like, actual child molesters in prison, right? Drug addicted child molesters with mood and personality disorders. There are people that could treat your father and grandfather if they wanted help. I think they can handle you. You sound like a pretty alright guy. So you like children, who cares? You just need help dealing with something, specifically pedophilia and anxiety with situational considerations. There's nothing wrong with wanting to go to therapy because you just found out your sister got molested. Everyone should have that right, even anxious depressed pedophiles.
No.15684
>>15681Hey, there's nothing pathetic about this at all. It's a completely reasonable fear when everything you know about this is second-hand. This country hates us. It's easy to feel like no rules could possibly protect you.
We've all dealt with this fear at some point. Some of us never shed it. For others, like myself, it wasn't a matter of choice anymore, because I'd turned this from a preference into an addiction.
You can get help. It works. But don't be ashamed of your fear.
No.15685
>>15684>addictionWhat do you mean?
No.15686
>>15685I did bad stuff. Happened while I was still a kid, which is most of why I didn't go to jail for it. Better now.
No.15687
>>15686Ohh… congratulations then. I don't know that I ever did anything "bad," per se, but I definitely did things I can't now as an adult.
No.15688
>>15686Or do you mean pictures?
No.15689
>>15688Both.
And it wasn't just illegal, it was shit I was ashamed of. Emotionally manipulative, hurtful. Not violent, but still. :(
No.15690
>>15689Yea… I know what you mean. We've all done things we're not proud of. When you're growing up as a pedophile with no role models or guidance, childhood games of "you show me yours I'll show you mine," tends to become "let me show you something and don't tell your parents." It sucks, but don't let the guilt so you from moving forward.
No.15691
>>15690I didn't. Like I said, I'm better now. My life is still a complete fuckmess, but that's for largely unrelated reasons.
No.15692
>>15691Cool. Sounds like me. Not drugs I hope?
No.15697
>>15694That made me smile
No.15698
A friend who knows someone with some legal prowess pretty much suggested what I've heard. Legal advice: seek legal advice. I need to speak with a criminal lawyer.
No.15700
Does your sister show any signs of harm? because if she doesn't seem to mind now then why would you?
No.15702
>>15700Please don't argue… I'm ignoring all arguments from here on out. I'm suicidal, mind you.
She does indeed feel very harmed by the whole thing. She has for decades.
No.15708
I've had a series of events that has led me to this point. My shitty feelings are not all about my sexual orientation and what I've discussed here. It's just that in order for me to move forward, I need to feel safe that I can talk to a therapist. Just understand that I'm paranoid enough not to seek help unless certain conditions are satisfied. I think the main thing is just hearing from someone that has some good knowledge on the subject with respect to NYS law.
I've had many paranoid thoughts that have turned out to be true.
I also don't want to sound combative here. I've been in full on edgy mode on and off for a week. I made a pathetic attempt to kill myself in the last week. I've got plans and a timeline.
Maybe we can discuss more argumentative issues another time. It would be kind of nice to have a polite conversation about this stuff from the perspective that I'm not necessarily on the opposing team.
No.15709
>>15708Jeez, don't you feel bad whining like a little whore here? I mean, I also feel like shit, but I know no one's eager to hear me complaining about my petty, pathetic life. You're disgusting.
No.15710
>>15709I'm not sure why the trolls suck so bad on 8chan. :) It makes me feel superior
No.15712
File: 1423240011629.jpg (14.81 KB, 499x302, 499:302, [snake god still sees your….jpg)
>>15710>I'm not sure why the trolls suck so bad on 8chan.No one's trolling. Just because I think you're whoring for attention with all those "BOOHOO MY LIFE SUCKS I WAN' KILL MYSELF" doesn't mean I'm "trolling".
>:)How new are you, Christ?
No.15713
>>15712Can you come back tomorrow? You've got me excited in a good way! :D
No.15715
>>15713What's wrong with you?
No.15716
>>15715I am a sick individual willing to do somersaults for great justice
No.15718
>>15716No you're a faggot who has the audacity to whine and slather his face in snot in frong of a whole board.
No.15719
>>15709You're the only person here who should be killing themselves. AryanLolicon I presume? You're the cunt I know poisonous enough…
No.15720
>>15710It's because this guy is an 18 year old Nazi dumbass that can't feel feelings…
No.15721
>>15716>I am a sick individual willing to do somersaults for great justiceHahaha. Are secretly an oldfag and not telling us.
>>15715>>15718maybe if you stored being such an intolerable faggot your parents and online communities wouldn't hate you. I'd say your friends too, but I seem to remember you not having any ..
No.15722
Does anyone else have any good advice?
I've got an ex-bf to go back to if I want to be degraded in order to get his rocks off.
No.15723
>>15719I am not, I'm sorry.
>>15720I can feel feelings. I just cant understand people who go ahead and start crying and lamenting on imageboards. I'd feel bad doing so, even though sometimes I really want to. This board is not supposed to be a hugbox, as several people have claimed.
>>15721>maybe if you stored being such an intolerable faggot your parents and online communities wouldn't hate you. I'd say your friends too, but I seem to remember you not having any ..Sure, sounds reasonable.
No.15724
>>15702Then fucking kill yourself and stop waisting our time if you are not going to hear anything anyone has to say
No.15725
>>15724omg i'm literally lolz
No.15726
A therapist is not going to lie to you. I have personally spoken to many therapists in the past, and told many of them about my pedophilia. In none of the cases did anything happen, but the last one was where I really got insight into how the confidentiality and duty to report shit actually works - because I simply asked. We had a long talk about how it worked, how it can be bent by the therapist, and how this particular therapist viewed it.
So if you want to talk to a therapist. Just tell them you're paranoid about how the system works, ask them to explain exactly what you can and can not say in order to not trigger any action. You can just have a conversation with the therapist about it. Equivocate like all fuck until you're certain how the therapist feels about things.
Hell, the last therapist I spoke to - admittedly only 3 sessions - we talked about my issues after we had established that I wouldn't reveal the key point. Of course it didn't work as well, but it was entirely possible to have a conversation like that anyway. Just say that you don't trust your father and grandfather, that you won't say what it specifically about, but that it has made you anxious for a long time. Something like that. Equivocation like all fuck. And also don't be afraid to explicitly state that there's something you don't want to reveal or be asked about.
No.15727
>>15722Yew, I've got some advice. Go see a therapist, talk to us as much as you need to, and don't interact with this obvious troll.
No.15728
>>15723>This board is not supposed to be a hugboxThen kill yourself faggot.
>I'll tell you what kind of board we're gonna have, as I'm the biggest and most glaring retard in this thread. It's painfully obvious that I'm only here to act tough to cover my own weaknesses and insecurities, but I would never admit that because I consider it "pussy shit." Nobody likes to be around people like you. Not even pedophiles.
No.15729
>>15728>Nobody likes to be around people like you. Not even pedophiles.Now tell me how'd you cut off my penis with rusty garden scissors, oh Legendary Zangyaku-san~
No.15730
>>15729>Legendary Zangyaku-san~They always wanna get weird.
No.15734
>>15726>Equivocate like all fuck until you're certain how the therapist feels about things.It seems like no matter how satisfied I am with finding out about the specifics of the law, I'm gonna have to do this anyways.
No.15735
>>15734It's probably a good idea anyway.
No.15898
No.15903
>>15898I wouldn't trust reddit for legal advice.
No.15904
>>15708
>I made a pathetic attempt to kill myself in the last week. I've got plans and a timeline.Well, you need to get the fuck off the Internet and go spend some time in an inpatient facility. Go to the ER and repeat what I quoted.
No.15914
>>15643It depends.
Do you want revenge against your father or grandfather? Do you want something bad to happen to them?
If you don't want them to get in trouble, don't tell your therapist. Although there might even be some kind of statute of limitations.
Besides, a lot of therapists just listen anyway. "And how does that make you feel?" "Why do you think that's troubling you?" "What do you think you would do if you didn't feel that way anymore?"
If you're really concerned about the law in that state, look it up online.
No.16340
Have you ever considered talking to your father instead of some shrink who's only in it to make a buck? I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know he could talk to his son about this stuff.
No.18051
>>16340Sooo much this. They've actually lived with it for however many years. And possibly have answers to some of the same things your going through as well.