No.18341
When I look at a picture of a pretty 4-10 year old girl I fantasize about being alone with her. I want to run my fingers through her hair and trace her spine as we kiss and whisper secrets… but I don't want to have sex with her unless I get really carried away in these thoughts.
I can't for the life of me work out why I want emotional love with a child when I'm not sexually attracted to them. I don't value childishness in my friends, I'm not that immature myself, I'm not even a hebe and I don't have paternal instincts so why is my brain being such a creepy retard?
No.18344
because young children are nice and hugs and kisses are nice and hugging and kissing children is extra nice
>I'm not sexually attracted to them… unless I get really carried away in these thoughts.
ive got news 4 u m8
No.18345
>>18344I tried to explain this in another thread and nobody understands that I don't want to have sex with a child but I have these desires to do what you said, hugging and kissing them.
No.18346
>>18345>>18345>I don't want to have sex with a child>unless I get really carried away in these thoughts. No.18393
You sound like me, chum, back when I was in denial and trying to suppress it.
No.18425
>>18341Pretty much most pedos want to do the hugging and kissing.
There are others that also want to include twerking/dancing in that list.
There are others that also want to include exhibitionism in that list.
There are others that also want to include fondling in that list.
There are others that also want to include grinding in that list.
There are others that also want to include masturbation/mutual masturbation in that list.
There are others that also want to include fellatio/cunnilingus in that list
There are others that also want to include anal intercourse in that list.
There are others that also want to include vaginal intercourse in that list.
There are others that just want the feet.
>>17774Just some stuff for you to introspect on.
No.18426
>>18346>>18393I only want to have sex with them when I'm already fantasizing about them and need to resolve the fantasy because sex is the only direction it can take after the kissing and touching.
I'd also like to point out that it's not intercourse, just oral so I want to please her more than I want her to give me pleasure. I never fantasize about hurting children or non-consensual sex.
I don't look at the pretty girls who live on my street and want to have sex with them, but I do look at hot women and want sex.. that's the crux of the issue and the reason I'm asking /younglove/ instead of going to a counselor who will just tell me I'm a pedophile; I don't think I'm a pedophile but I do have some fucked up emotional desires that you might be able to help me understand.
Thank you for taking the time to give me advice and I'm sorry if it looks like I'm not listening but I think it's more complicated than being a pedophile. I want these thoughts to go away but first I need to understand where they come from.
No.18427
>>18426>I want these thoughts to go away but first I need to understand where they come from.Have you ever had sex in your youth?
No.18438
>>18427I first had sex at 17, I think that's the average age for loss of virginity in my state. There wasn't any sexual touching in my early years.
No.18439
>>18341
>I can't for the life of me work out why I want emotional love with a child when I'm not sexually attracted to them>I don't want to have sex with her unless I get really carried away in these thoughts. >unlessUNLESSYou're a pedo. You want to fuck children.
Welcome to the club. No.18441
>>18439I understand that it sounds like I'm a pedophile. I'm asking you to look beyond your first impression because I don't want to fuck children, not really.
No.18442
>>18441But you said there's a point where you do
No.18445
>>18341It's normal among pedos to be emotionally attracted to children.
It's also normal for pedos to deny they have a sexual attraction to children or want to do anything sex-related with children.
You sound like someone who is afraid he is going to think those sexy thoughts.
My advice is don't be afraid to. Trying to fight it only makes those thoughts more prevalent.
I once tried to fight remembering the name of an obvious pedohater. As much as I tried my brain wouldn't get off of the topic until his name got burned into my memory.
Another side effect of trying hard not to think it. Is that you start to consider yourself a ticking time bomb when the thoughts start occuring more frequently. And then you become paranoid you are going to lose all sense of control and somehow spaz out on the nearest child.
tl;dr - don't fight it, or turn yourself in to a therapist so you're on their watchlist and in their support group.
No.18446
>don't fight it, or turn yourself in to a therapist so you're on their watchlist and in their support group.
I wouldn't recommend this. Fantasies are completely normal and not something you need a head shrink for.
No.18447
Only turn yourself in if you wish to continue fighting it but
>>18446 has a point. Which is why don't fight it.
No.18451
>>18442>>18445>>18446>>18447Maybe I should backtrack and describe my feelings for female children as so: I have romantic and sexual fantasies of girls 4 and older, but no general sexual attraction to girls 16 and younger. By this I mean I don't have the same amount of sexual interest in young girls as I have in women, who I don't fantasize about loving but do view sexually in everyday circumstances, so I don't think I'm a pedophile… as I type this it's obvious that I'm sexually attracted to children and making up technicalities to explain away that attraction. This is distressing to say the least.
Thanks (I think) for putting me on the right track. I'm going go to my bedroom, lie in my bed and think this over. Or sleep away my problems. One of those. I'll be back tonight.
No.18452
>>18451> so I don't think I'm a pedophileIt's good if you don't think you're a pedophile just be sure you aren't lying to yourself. That's what counts.
Good Night.
No.18455
>>18426>I only want to have sex with them when I'm already fantasizing about them and need to resolve the fantasy because sex is the only direction it can take after the kissing and touching.>I'd also like to point out that it's not intercourse, just oral so I want to please her more than I want her to give me pleasure.%100 exact same
>I don't think I'm a pedophileyes you are
>I think it's more complicated than being a pedophileeverything's more complicated than just being a [label]
children are of course beautiful, it's natural to want to pleasure them and be in physical contact with them.
the sexual component is different than with adult women, so you look at your sexual fantasies and think "that's not really sexual attraction", but it is.
No.18461
>>18341You're a pedo, you just have low sex drive, as a person.
Boom, now everything makes sense.
No.18463
>>18455Your sir make a lot of sense. We think alike
No.18861
So.
So I think I've reached a place where I can admit my pedophilia to myself and have a serious think about what it means for my future. This is going to read like a bad joke but the truth is that I'm studying part-time to become an elementary school teacher and a major set of exams is just visible on the horizon. After these exams my study programme includes real world teaching experience. This creates a problem for me. Obviously.
I have some time to mull this over before I make a final decision but I should have confronted these feelings before I decided on teaching as a career.
Never in my life have I hurt a child and I'm not the kind of guy who thinks with his abdominal head but I am worried as I think about how I act when I'm in the presence of very young girls. If I'm honest with myself I talk one way to women and girls, another to men and yet another to boys; I'm more playful and upbeat around females and that's normal when they're my age or older, expected even, but it borders on being unusual when they're so young. I don't know how that's going to affect classroom dynamics and I don't ever want to make a child feel unsafe or upset by being too familiar with her. I don't want to be that pedophile who goes into teaching knowing it's an inappropriate profession for him and winds up hurting a child.
Has anyone here worked with children? Does anyone have any unbiased advice for me? Please don't be afraid to be blunt.
No.18862
>>18861I won't tell you what to do if you don't think you would do anything criminal. I don't think many of us are the predators on the edge that can be triggered to rape at the slightest provocation. I've worked around kids, though not in a position where I could really be alone with them for any length of time. I was not worried about molesting them or anything, but the job did take a toll on me. I thought it would be fun to deal with them all the time, but it was actually really stressful. It just reminded me of what I couldn't have. It was bittersweet leaving that job.
No.18866
>>18861Just Do It. You're going to be super paranoid at first that you aren't even going to try anything at all. At least not anything on the level that may actually harm a child if what you say about not thinking with your abdominal head is true.
After your paranoia dies down you enter that sweet spot where you are comfortable enough around them to not feel awkward anymore. And once you are honest to yourself about
how far you are willing to go with a child and not just a rapist with a facade you'll be fine.
No.18872
>>18861As an elementary school teacher, you'll have very little time where you could do anything inappropriate with a student. An elementary school classroom (especially in the first few grades) requires almost constant supervision. No sneaking off with individual students.
Plus, as a man, you'll be under a great deal of scrutiny. By teacher's aides, other teachers, admin, parents. If you give a loli a friendly shoulder pat and your hand so much as lingers for a moment, you'll have 3 people calling 911 and 2 rushing to get the school resource officer to shoot you.
Even the other kids will be suspicious of you. Probably an attitude absorbed from their parents. I remember I had a male teacher in elementary school (only one), and I thought "Dis dude wan fuk my bum?! Hoep not!" I think he was a pedo, actually, but not a boylover.
No.18873
>>18861Just a question: will you do anything lewd to kids if she feels safe and there won't be any repercussions?
No.18874
>>18873Also, i should've noted:
I'm a teacher myself.
I thought that I'd be overcome by lewd thoughts when I'd got to close to children. After a few months however, I realized that through all those years of thought, that I had romanticized being around them: yeh they can be fun, open, honest. They can also be vile, shitty and horrible beings. Right now I still appreciate being around kids, only now has it changed from trying to be that good friend/nice teacher to becoming a stern teacher: most people who start with the profession start out this way (trying to be nice), but will change in due time because you can't teach if your biggest desire is to be liked: there needs to be a certain respectable distance, otherwise they'll trample you.
I understand your fear, God knows I've experienced them greatly. You've also mustered up the courage to confront these fears. For that, I compliment you and wish you luck.
I can only give you the advice to finish your exams and go in with and open heart and a truthful mind. This won't be easy: you will be confronted with yourself. Working with kids is like working with a mirror.
Not to mention that some people will assume that you're in it to fondle kids since that's what males in teacher professions get slung to their heads these days. That's the tide of times and the battle we're fighting (please don't fondle kids).
Try it for a few months. Make up the balance after that. Some anons have said it in here: there will be very little opportunity to do anything lewd, and even when you want to do something lewd you've implemented some fail safes in your own psyche.
Good luck. I'll check this thread every once in a while.
No.18876
>>18861It sounds like you don't want to put a child in a difficult position, and I think that is entirely enough to make whatever you safe. If you haven't tried it before, I would definitely recommend continuing and getting that real world experience. What I've noticed over the years is that while I feel like a lustful desperate guy when I'm alone, it's
completely different around real children. I think you'll find that once you get to know them, you will feel completely comfortable around them. The worst things that can happen are that you'll have to consciously try not to pay too much attention to the girls, and that it could be stressful for your own psyche.
I personally thought having little girls around me every day would put me in a situation where I was attracted to them and had crushes on them, but that I wouldn't have any trouble ignoring it. What happened was actually less than that; I developed a sort of brother/sister feeling toward them, so now even though some of them are clearly attractive, I don't even think of them as attractive even when I'm not with them. I don't think about how I act around them, it's pretty natural at this point. I think you should see how it feels, but keep a very truthful and introspective eye on yourself - you'll have to be aware of it if it stresses you out, if you have to force yourself to act a certain way and if you feel paranoid, etc.
No.18878
>>18341So you fantasize about being alone with a child and kissing her, but you say you're not sexually attracted to girls?
What's the problem? Nobody says you have to be sexually attracted to girls, and fantasies are fantasies.
You seem to think that fantasies of loving a child make you a creep. Are you scared you might act on those fantasies, or act on the sex fantasies you have?
Beauty is beauty, and there's probably an evolutionary advantage to being an attractive child. It sounds like you're in denial about being attracted to children. Someone can be a pedophile and not want to have sex with children. Or maybe you have a protective instinct, although it seems like more than that since you mention wanting to run your "fingers through her hair and trace her spine as we kiss and whisper secrets."
If you want some kind of neurological explanation, it probably involves oxytocin, the love/bonding molecule.
No.18880
>>18426You sound like a non-exclusive pedo who is attracted to girls and women and doesn't want to hurt kids.
You seem to think that someone can only be a pedo if they want to have intercourse with every little girl they see. The basic requirement is being aroused by children. And just because you're aroused does not mean you want to have intercourse.
It sounds like you do sometimes fantasize about sex with girls, but most people would say that would always be non-consensual sex due to age of consent laws which declare when a person can legally consent. But they're still only fantasies unless acted on, and fantasies are only in your head. I'm sure some pedos would like to uncouple the common meaning of consent (agree) from the legal right of consent (which children lack).
No.18881
>>18861I think the biggest problem for a male pedo teacher would be hiding his erections.
You have to have boundaries. And yearning for someone you can't ever realistically be with isn't healthy. You have to be realistic about what kind of relationship could ever exist, and as a teacher the relationship should primarily be teacher/student. Do you want to be a teacher to teach, or to be around children? Are you more invested in children learning, or just having an excuse to be around them? There may be a lot of great teachers out there who are pedos, because they love children and want them to have good lives and succeed and not be harmed.
As a male elementary school teacher you'll be under a microscope anyways. Many anti-pedos would tell you to seek help and turn yourself in now, and that a teacher abusing their authority or abusing trust is a serious betrayal. If you don't want to harm kids or betray kids or destroy your own life, then don't do any of those things. Be realistic, practice self-control, and don't let yourself get carried away. You have a job to do. That job involves protecting your students. You have a responsibility. Take that responsibility seriously.
What would you do if you found out another male teacher did something inappropriate with one of your female students and she told you? Would you cover for the teacher, or protect your students?
No.18891
>>18881>I think the biggest problem for a male pedo teacher would be hiding his erections.Am I the only one who never gets random erections? I have little girls around me quite often, maybe I should consider it a super power that I never get hard around them.
The way you talk about it makes it sound like serious willpower and discipline is required to pull this off. I'd say if you actually need to apply 'self control' to not get 'carried away', then you should stay away entirely. But I don't get the feeling that OP is that way.
No.18898
>>18891Not since I was, like, sixteen.
No.19746
The choice has been made for me, my best friend squeezed the secret out of me when we went out for drinks on Tuesday and yesterday I was called to a faculty meeting where they grilled me over it and terminated my enrolment. Everyone I know already knows and I had to deactivate my fb, my parents came close to throwing all my possessions on the curb and disowning me, I'm not eating meals with them in case it sets them off and they go through with it…
Lol. I don't know what I can do except laugh. I have no future.
No.19752
>>19746>(X) said he wanted to do (x) with kids!>OH YES IT"S ALL TRUE I DO I'M SO SORRY I KNOW I KNOW I SHOULDN"T BE A TEACHER I HAVE DOUBTS MYSELF PLS DON'T KILL MEIt's called not being stupid.
You could try it.
>Get called into meeting>Grilled over it
>I don't know what you're talking about>I didn't say that>I didn't go with him>We talked about (Z) not (x)>I bet this is because I told him (H) which made him upset at me, or because I told him (K) about kids, and thus he thinks I want to do that with them. I don't.>We were having some problems before, and he wanted to go drinking and so I did to try to repair things, and then he started telling me how he knows I want to do (x), which I don't, and that he's going to "bury" me and I can't do anything about it. I don't know who told him that, but it's not true, and I'm not sure why he believes it. No.19753
>>19752I'm sure you would have been calm and composed, asshole.
I went into the room expecting the meeting to be a review of my learning progress and got treated to a verbal attack on child molestation in schools. My best friend told me she supported me and she would help me get therapy and instead she must have gone to talk to the professors. For your information I didn't admit anything, I clammed up and it was obvious that I had something to hide.
No.19754
>>19752Now who have we got here?
>>>/out/ No.19762
>>19753>I'm sureI sure would have been.
If you slipped up like that, you should have suspected like something. Especially sense (s)he likely didn't react well to the slip-up, thus giving you a definite answer that you need to be ready.
>expectingWhy exactly?
Why would you suddenly have a meeting about that? I mean, unless they're barking at you every week, then you should have been concerned.
Very concerned.
>Told me>Supported me>TherapyPeople lie, you should know that, and she likely showed her disapproval and concern in her behavior.
Regardless, unless you were begging for therapy, that's a red flag that they're blowing shit up your ass.
>I clammed upLack of explanation and guilty actions such as deactivating your Facebook account is virtually an admission of guilt.
Why would you do that.
You should have consulted your pedos and been advised to simply post that you're baffled at what just happened and didn't know what to even say during it. That you didn't know where it came from.
If they spoke who reported you, call them out and proceed to just ask them where they got it from, and then follow the previously mentioned things, aka denying everything and making them look like a liar.
She's not your friend anymore, and she likely hates you.
There's no reason not to throw her down the hole as you try to climb out, especially if grabbing onto her leg will boost you up out of the hole. It's her fault you were put in the hole, and she likely did it on purpose, thus it's completely justified to trade positions with her.
And before you say it's paranoid to assume the worst, remember, that's how you (apparently) ended up where you are. Never assume better. Encrypt your computer after viewing something? Getting a new one? Don't throw it away or donate it to a recycling place, smash it to bits and burn it.
>>19754:^)
No.19764
>>19754
>Now who have we got here?Someone making a rational, thoughtful post.
You might not like tfw, but he's layin' down some truth, nigga.
>>19753
>My best friend told me she>best friend>sheGet real. When you get your life back on track, find a male friend whose honest enough with himself to understand that a healthy male sex drive for most men includes girls below the AoC. Sometimes well below.
Adult women have their uses, but serious friendship is not one of them.
No.19770
>>18861I'm an ed major who wants to do what you want to do. For the love of God, keep on your path and become a teacher. Continue and succeed where I'm probably about to fail. I'm pretty much giving up because it's too hard. But you sound like you've already gotten through. Do it, faggot. Follow your dreams.
>>18872>I think he was a pedo, actually, but not a boylover.Why do you think that?
>>18876>having little girls around me every dayWhat do you do?
>>19746This is bait.Or you're a massive retard.>>19753If true, you're pitiful.
>>19762>being this based while being kind of a faggot for being in love with a babyMan, I don't even care, you're still based as fuck. You should be on the
>>>/phile/ podcast.
>>19764>Adult women have their uses, but serious friendship is not one of them.As much as my brightsider ass hates to admit it, that might be true. Adult women are in my experience the most fickle, duplicitous, dishonest people. I may not ever trust one again unless she's someone I knew when she was younger.
No.19771
>>19770In tfw's defense, I don't think he likes her because she's a baby, just she's with him the most I guess.
No.19772
>>19771Yeah, but it's still dumb. However, desperation is a very valid thing in a MAP's disposition, so it's understandable.
No.19775
>>19762Not everyone is good at lying. I wouldn't have been able to do what you describe. There's no use looking at this in retrospect anyway, but I do think in the future this person should be better at gauging their 'friends' possible reactions. I've heard so many of these stories now and it sounds almost unbelievable to me because it has been so different for me. You would probably not believe some of the people who knows about me and accepts it… Must be something to do with communities or even maybe differences country to country.
But really, do not tell anyone if people act like that, they aren't your friends and they aren't trustworthy at all. What are you going to do now, anyway, if things have hit the fan as much as it sounds like it has?
No.20170
I like tfw . He's been here for a long time and he always provides lengthy reads that are *sometimes* insightful. However, don't you guys think we've exhausted a lot of the responses we use because it's all the same shit? Don't harp on tfw for stating his opinions when you've all heard the shit a thousand times before.
And seriously, who gives two shits that he loves a baby/toddler? I for one, don't care. Not my age range, but mine isn't his either.
No.20179
>>20170Because he's an obnoxious smarmy brat.
No.20206
>>20179That was a creative insult.
No.20302
>>18341Because little girls are the best that is, obviously.
No.20317
>>20302This loli is hot as fuck!
No.20360
>>20302>>20317Anzu is 17 and she fucks her manager. Fake NEET. Fake loli. Fake idol.
No.20362
>>19752I love pacifiers!!
No.20363
No.20384
>>20360>Anzu is 17 and she fucks her manager.Hot as fuck, tell me more.
No.20393
File: 1429151276644.png (1.36 MB, 900x1211, 900:1211, 992756e78bc91649b0c0f8ecdf….png)
>>20384She's from the game\anime Idolm@ster, where you play as a producer for Japanese pop idols, of which Anzu is one. She is lazy and a cunt and the only things she has going for her is the fact that she's pretty and she looks like she's ten.
http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1377876 No.20394
>>20393Or more accurately, she's from the mobile phone card game spin-off.
No.20395
>>20394Honestly, I just want to fuck them. The last time I decided I cared about the source of the lolies, I had to sit through 198 episodes of Sailor fucking Moon just to see Chibiusa's numerous pantyshots. Terrible writing, terrible stories, terrible decision.
On the other hand, that Rika sex copypasta led me to spend 150 hours reading Higurashi and Umineko, which was an excellent decision.
No.20397
>>20393>>20393>dat linkOMG, she looks so fuckable!!
No.20461
>>20360> Anzu is 17It is pretty obvious why the artist claims that.
At least she has a normal ear shape and is not written into an 1000 year old demon who just HAPPENS to look and often act like a prepubescent girl.
No.20468
>>20461I like it when they stick to something plausable.
Pic related: 17 year old human legal loli
No.20471
>>19762>>19752Whoa, dude, I love your tastes! Please post more pictures!
No.20495
>>20461No, pretty sure that's canon (which is not a porn series), and pretty sure that there are real lolies in there too.
>At least she has a normal ear shape and is not written into an 1000 year old demon who just HAPPENS to look and often act like a prepubescent girl.If you're referring to Etna, she's more adolescent in personality, really. And that's not playing with the ages for sensibility reasons (because Hanako is, like, seven, and she wears a ribbon for a shirt), it's going with the 1 year on Earth = 100 years in Hell thing.