>>20278It basically boils down to "don't be dumb and obvious," as well as the most important thing, which is to make absolutely certain that it stays between the two of you. If anyone else is to know, they need to have stated their acceptance ahead of time. Especially if they're her parent. You have to protect her by making it clear to her that there's pervasive untruth everywhere that most people buy into, and that if anyone finds out, they'll ruin you. It essentially boils down to "you must absolutely protect each other."
I learned it the hard way. I trusted people I shouldn't have. The only two people I ever told I liked my precious best friend and girlfriend before it got fucked up actually did keep it under their hat and accepted it gladly, but they didn't help me after the disaster occurred.
She and I thought that people probably knew or at least had a hunch, but were okay with it. We thought this of her mom, as well. But that was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Bitch was an absolute nut and a coward, never even gave me the chance to say anything, never heard my side of it. I trusted her mom, and I took the biggest backstab of my life because of it.
Out of any of the things I could have done differently, probably the easiest and most effective thing I could have done would have been to have just said on the night we officially told each other how we felt, during that conversation, or later that night when she was calling me "boyfriend" to her brother with her mom too near for comfort—she didn't hear, though, thankfully, and I shushed the girl to make it clear not to say that with her mom around—that she needed to make absolutely sure to tell no one about this because people think it's just the worst thing in the world for someone my age to love someone her age.
With the shushing, I implied that message, but I needed to hammer that one in with way more emphasis. We were both far too naïve. Two of our best friends, even her big brother, all were willing to be cool about it. But parents are another thing entirely. They can be your best friend one day, and your worst enemy the next. I know from anecdotes that some parents are cool and will actually be okay with it, but you have to be absolutely, 100% certain that they are before you can trust them even one bit. Same goes for everyone else, too.