All right niggers, story time with anon:
>be me
>13 or 14 years old during one summer several years ago
>mom says I'm not social enough with other people and just sit at home all day "doing nothing productive"
>decides to sign me up for summer camp with a bunch of fucking state troopers called "Camp Cadet"
>have respect for cops and what they do but don't want to spend an entire goddamn week surrounded entirely by them
>argue with her and say I don't think I'd enjoy it or get much out of it
>she doesn't listen and takes me downtown to apply for it
>have to dress up all nice and shit
>go into police station and meet black female state trooper who interviews me for selection
>explains what the actual camp is to me more in-depth and how it works
>says it teaches you to respect the law and the work that law enforcement does
>have to respond to everyone there with "yes sir/ma'am" every time they say something
>says you can't bring any kind of electronics with you and they check your fucking cabin once or twice a day all week long to make sure
>you have to get up at 5 a.m. every day and run a fucking mile with them
>bed has to meet strict inspection standards every day as well
>they have classes and things like that that you have to go to
>uniformed cops with assault/sniper rifles in guard towers actively patrol borders of entire campground (which is completely fenced and barb-wired, btw) 24/7 to "keep you safe"
>ohgodkillmenow.mp4
>also adds that only like 100 out of 300-400 kids who sign up get picked for it and says it's "an honor" or some bullshit
>lightbulb goes off in my head and I realize I have about a 1 in 3 chance at most of getting picked for Camp Auschwitz
>actual interview begins when me and the cop go into a room
>answer basic questions about myself and give her some bullshit qualities about my personality that really mean nothing at all
>one question in particular piques my interest
>"Anon, you're out shopping for groceries one day when you see someone shoplifting. No one else is around and you're the only witness to the crime. What would you do?"
>quickly come up with some shitty response off the top of my head to fuck up the interview
>"W-Well, I think that I'd walk up to them and say that I saw them stealing, and that if they didn't put back what they took then I'd tell a store employee about it because stealing is wrong," all in a soft, unconfident voice
>cop gives me a look and writes down my answer
>probably wanted me to say something like, "Hey asshole, put that shit back or I'll beat the fuck out of you" because you don't fuck with state troopers
>the fact that I'm kind of nerdy and slightly underweight for my age only makes that scenario better for me
>interview ends shortly after and we shake hands
>she smiles and wishes me luck
>lol
>mom meets me at the front door and we drive home
>she asks me how the interview went and I lie by saying, "Ok, I think"
>a week or two goes by and we finally get a letter in the mail from the police station regarding my registration status
>oh please oh please oh please
>says I unfortunately wasn't selected for the camp and mom is disappointed
>"Oh Anon, I really thought that that would've been a good experience for you"
>I almost smile before just kind of shrugging and dismissively saying "oh well" to her before going up to my room and almost screaming "OH THANK FUCKING GOD" in relief
>mfw all those other poor bastards had to spend a week in that shithole
>mfw I purposely fucked up that interview just so I wouldn't have to go to it in the first place