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No.442770
Holy shit I fucked up, where do you guys keep your toys? What's stopping a visitor from finding them?
No.442778
What did they do? What did they say? What kind of toys did you have?
No.442785
>>442770
Tell us the story OP.
No.442786
>>442778
Petan hips, mouth of truth, puni ana DX, tenga egs(6 pack), and a tenga flip hole
I found my puni ana covered in dirt as if it was rolled on the floor, my hips had some yellow and white foamy stuff that I'm guessing is spit, other toys were not found
>parents visit me
>go to the store to buy groceries for dinner, parents stay in livingroom watching TV
>come home to the TV on and no one home
I'm kinda pissed but also kind of depressed, my dad is someone I look up to and now I feel like he thinks I'm scum
No.442794
>>442786
Invest in a small safe.
No.442799
>>442786
Yuor dad is just probably upset his son couldn't keep his toys clean.
No.442802
>>442770
That looks like it'd be way too tight.
No.442804
>>442786
Give more details. Where do you keep them normally? Why do you think they found them? Where did you end up finding them?
No.442805
>>442794
I'm thinking of that, but after this incident it will be hard to keep safes in the open with my parents
>>442799
My puni ana DX was brand new, I didn't even take it out of the box because I got it his morning, my hips were under my bad along with my other toys inside a carboard box
No.442807
>>442805
Well then explain the foamy stuff that you thought was spit. Do you think your dad had a go with it?
No.442809
>>442786
WHAT THE FUCK
Your parents are psycho, OP.
No.442812
>>442807
>still boxed
Was the box covered in lewd illustrations or something? Was it also under your bed? Why did they go digging under your bed?
No.442813
>>442804
>Where do you keep them normally?
Under my bed
>Why do you think they found them?
Under my bed
>Where did you end up finding them?
Puni ana DX was on top of my bed, petan hips were under my bed, but box shows tearing, my other toys are nowhere to be found
>>442807
>Do you think your dad had a go with it?
Not likely, the liquid was on top in the curve of the back and it smells like spit
No.442815
>>442805
If it comes up in a conversation, you need to say that it's your business and you have urges to satisfy like everyone else.
No.442816
>>442815
OP should blame his family for not adequately satisfying him.
No.442817
>>442786
That is fucking terrifying.
No.442820
>>442786
>I found my puni ana covered in dirt as if it was rolled on the floor, my hips had some yellow and white foamy stuff that I'm guessing is spit, other toys were not found
Perhaps a stupid question: do you have a dog?
No.442821
>>442807
>>442805
Do you have a dog OP?
No.442823
No.442826
>>442812
My toys were inside a box like pic related under my bed, I honestly have no idea why my dad would go through my stuff, however I can see my mom doing it, she doesn't trust me because at the age of 6 she left my dad and asked me to go with her, all my siblings went with her but me my sister was sexually abused and my brother physically abused afterwards, she also got a bastard child after leaving me and my dad
>>442820
>>442821
What makes you think that?
No.442827
File: 1458456438810.jpg (128.68 KB, 1300x870, 130:87, 40500918-Wide-Opened-Cardb….jpg)
No.442829
>>442826
>What makes you think that?
Well maybe your dog pulled them out and gave them a slobber.
No.442831
>>442826
>I can see my mom doing it
>fucking an onahole
No.442833
>>442831
Not that, looking through my stuff
No.442843
No.442848
>>442813
>>442804
>>Why do you think they found them?
>Under my bed
Fuck I'm retarded, they weren't where I left them and some were missing
No.442855
Checked your outside dumpster?
No.442857
>>442855
Just did, nothing there
No.442860
>>442857
Have you considered calling them and asking what the fuck?
No.442862
>>442860
I-I'm too embarrassed to do that anon
No.442863
>>442857
>>442860
What should OP do next?
[ ] Pretend nothing happened
[ ] Confront parents directly
[ ] Inspect substance on back of doll
[ ] Genuflect
No.442864
>>442863
[X ] Confront parents directly
No.442865
>>442863
You must escalate it. Leave them the standard dog shit in a burning bag but its your shit instead with a defiled toy.
No.442866
>>442863
[X] Inspect substance on back of doll
We should rule out the dog before proceeding.
No.442867
>>442864
Neither of them are answering
No.442869
>>442866
Anon pls, I don't own a dog and I already washed it off, at the very least it did NOT smell like cum
No.442870
>>442862
Embarrassment is the wrong reaction here. You should be angry instead.
No.442871
>>442867
Well destroy something your mother hold dear.
I don't understand how that kind of shit can happen, you'd think having crazy parent would teach a kid to be careful and trust nobody...
Did you not think about your mother being mental before hiding sex toys under your bed ?
No.442873
>>442871
Up to the age of 6 I lived with both my parents, after that I haven't even seen my mom until three months ago
>>442870
I can't really do anything about my reactions, anon.
No.442875
>>442873
Call the police then. Have your mom arrested for petty theft.
No.442876
>>442873
Well now you know I guess, you should find a way to get as far from her as you can, this wasn't the reaction of a mentally stable human being, this kind of shit never happen on their own, you can be certain that there are way worst stuff under her carped.
No.442879
No.442886
>>442879
This, OP needs to confirm it still works.
No.442923
Can someone give me links or webms of people using the onahole? I never seen one before.
No.442932
I bought a pack of magnetic locks and installed them on my bedroom drawers to keep things hidden. Even though I live alone people still come to visit. I was worried my little nieces would find them. I don't think it would keep out an adult using their full force though if your parents are that psycho.
I think it was these that I bought.
http://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Magnetic-Locking-System/dp/B004GCJMLG
No.442934
>>442932
Just ordered three packs or 24 locks, thanks for the suggestion
>>442875
I don't think anyone would take this seriously, I'll follow this anon's advice>>442876
No.442936
are you going to buy a new onahole anon?
No.442941
Not OP, but I live alone in a house my mom owns. So I don't pay rent but she feels entitled to just waltz in any time completely unannounced and stay as long as she wants. The stress is unbelievable and I've started looking for cheap apartments cause I'd rather pay $600/month than deal with this. I always have to worry about keeping it clean, and even when it's clean she still finds stuff to bitch about. I can't decorate the walls the way I want with my weebshit, I can't leave sex toys out on the bathroom counter after cleaning them, I can't display figures, I can't leave a lewd wallpaper on my computer, and she has a key so she can even show up when I'm at work without my knowledge and have full run of the place. I don't put it past her to dig through my stuff like OP's mom, so I keep my toys in a footlocker with a padlock on it.
No.442949
>>442923
If you had asked five minutes earlier I'd have filmed myself...
>>442941
How much m² do you get for $600/month where you leave ?
No.442965
>>442949
If you want a place alone, 600 might get you a one room studio apartment. This is a college town so theres plenty of cheap housing if you want to deal with obnoxious youth roommates 3/4 of the year. I dont.
No.442966
This is why you live by yourself.
No.442968
>>442965
I'm European and my one room apartment is 300€/month, you should get out of big cities m8
No.442970
>>442770
You didn't fuck up. You're parents are assholes, give them an earful.
No.442972
Surprised no one thus far has suggested he try and fuck his mom yet.
No.442973
>>442972
She defiled anons ona, she doesn't deserve a dick.
No.442974
>>442786
>my hips had some yellow and white foamy stuff that I'm guessing is spit
Sounds like a mudslime reaction. You are lucky you were not home and beheaded.
No.442975
>>442974
>Sounds like a mudslime reaction
That's true, spitting on a sex toy would be a very Muslim way to act.
No.442979
>>442936
Most likely the pic in the OP
>>442966
But I do yet this shit still happened
>>442974
We're spics, at most I'd get hung on a bridge
>>442970
Easy to say but I'll likely get beat up for talking back to my parents
No.442981
>>442979
>Easy to say but I'll likely get beat up for talking back to my parents
Even if you do it's still a victory.
No.443091
>tfw no USB onahole/waifu app combo.
Ｌｅｔ'ｓ ａｌｌ ｌｏｖｅ Ｌａｉｎ！
No.443095
>>443091
That show was such trash. easily the worst anime I've watched.
I never understood how people could drop a series before watching it, now i understand completely.
I do agree with loving Lain tho, she is a qt.
No.443100
>>443095
That sounds a bit harsh. I'd say Lain is overrated but it's not that bad.
On topic, how good are those tenga air-tech things? I'm a cheap fuck so I'm not ok with spending money on single-use shit.
No.443104
>>443100
>how good are those tenga air-tech things?
overpriced/10 if you're cheap don't even think about non jap brands.
No.443105
>>443100
can you be more specific? tenga's got tons of differnt things
No.443106
>>443100
It very much is the worst anime I've watched, maybe i just haven't watched enough.
On topic, i haven't used any Tenga but I've heard the Tenga flip is the best toy money can buy. I've only used a legit fleshlight myself which has been more than amazing so far.
No.443108
>>443100
>>443105
Found it. Yeah I'm going to have to go with >>443104 on this one and how it's really pricey. Looks neat, though. I wish they had a reusable egg product, since they have a cool look to them.
No.443110
>>443104
Isn't tenga jap though?
Did the math and I'd be fine with buying one as long as I know I can get a decent amount of use out of it.
No.443112
>>443110
lol it is, i thought it was imposible considering what they sell.
>>443108
get something from magic eyes or other otaku targeted brands
No.443798
i only buy cheap shit from aliexpress and i'm happy with it (i can't see how something like this that costs 5 times as much can be better than this)
does anyone with the same buying path as me know about any holes with hard nubs/bits in them? it just feels amazing
No.443815
>>442862
You don't have to be direct. Not "Did you touch my limited edition oanehole X3 model?"
More like:
"Did you mess with my room?"
No.443816
>>443798
hard bumps are amazing until you start nearing orgasm, i feel them to be almost painfull and end up moving extremely slowly until I climax.
No.443825
>>443816
yes, exactly!
but there's only 2 toys (1 2color, 1 with teeth) that do it for me, and i'd like to expand even more
No.443830
>>443825
>1 with teeth
That's the one I have but I feel that it's more than just the teeth that does it for me, also, does yours also en up poking out the top left when going deep ? I don't know if it's a factory defect.
No.443831
>>443830
i don't go that deep, i just scratch the head with it really
but no, it doesn't
No.443949
>>443815
>Did you touch my limited edition oanehole X3 model?
No.444088
>>442770
Don't you dare apologize. Just roll with it and if they have a problem with it just tell them to get over it. Play it off as a non-issue and your parents will probably accept it and move on after a while.
No.444114
>>443949
What OP should do is call up his parents and angrilly ask them
> Did you fuckers come into my home, where I live and eat and bathe just so you could hunt out and steal my sex toys you worthless perverts?
No.444115
What's a good relatively cheap onahole for a virgin?
No.444118
>>444115
> losing your virginity to an onahole and chosing to make it a cheap one
Anon, this onahole is going to do for you what no other human being has or will. Make it special.
No.444122
>>444118
If a fucking onahole counts then the pillow I stuck my dick in when I was 12 did too.
No.444123
No.444128
>>444118
You have to stick your dick in a living thing's orifice in order for it to count as a virginity loss. The jury's still out on whether or not it has to be human.
No.444129
>>444120
>>444122
>>444128
> being this autistic about a joke
No wonder you faggots are virgins
No.444130
>>444129
>Being this autistic about people having discussions
No.444137
>>444120
>you virgin fuck.
Where the fuck am I right now? Am I on reddit? Did I have a stroke?
No.444146
Well guys, I'm being kicked out of my apartment (parents paid the rent) and I live in fucking Brazil so I'm probably going to be butchered for organs off the streets. It's been fun.
Heres one last pic of my waifu to remember me by. Farewell /a/!
No.444159
>>443095
It's kinda niche, it takes a lot of work to enjoy but it's worth it; easily one of my very favourite aneemay
>>444130
>being this autistic about a joke
No.444171
>>444146
>onaholes destroyed anons life
I hope you get a place to live anon.
No.444177
>>444146
If it gets really bad you could always live under a rich anons bed and let him fuck you from time to time.
No.444186
>>444177
I wish I'd saved that post.
No.444187
>>442949
Think you can do it now? I'm really interested in seeing one in action.
Post last edited at
No.444188
>>444187
I'm off to work in 20min I'll shave and do it in about 11 hours.
No.444191
>>444146
I hope you find a place to live anon, fuck I'm so mad about this.
No.444194
That's what you get for being a fag, fag.
No.444201
>>444146
>Asuka waifu
I'm really not surprised at all.
Do you at least have a job that you can use to pay for a new apartment?
What about a car you can use to drive to America and illegally immigrate into?
No.444204
>>444188
Preferably the hips if you still have them.
No.444212
>>444204
the anon with the hips is a hobo now you know, I'm just a random anon passing by this thread.
No.444214
>>444123
Are you talking about those ones ?
I really want to by them just for the packaging, but are they actually not shit ?
No.444219
>want to buy a puni ana or similar onahole
>live in Canada
They sell it on Amazon.ca, so I won't get arrested if I order it, right? Buying through a legal channel, it must be okay. Right? I'm really good at hiding things, I just need something to hide.
No.444222
>>444146
Bye anon. Feel free to drop by /a/ whenever you want some more life-ruining advice!
No.444223
>>444219
Are your laws actually enforced? Loli is technically illegal in Australia but I've only ever seen people get tried when they have CP mixed in with it. As far as I know the government doesn't give a fuck if you're into loli but then again I've never tried to import anything.
No.444226
>>444223
They usually use it to tack on extra years when someone has real CP, but importing can be pretty risky, as I understand it. It's not so much the potential for jail time, because they don't usually do that just for loli, but my name and face would be all over, and the way the media depicts loli content means "sex toy with a drawing of a young-looking girl" would become "HARDCORE MASTURBATOR MODELED AFTER A YOUNG GIRL'S VAGINA AND ANUS WITH PACKAGING DEPICTING CHILD PORNOGRAPY". I could just order from a site that lets me have the packaging removed, I guess. If they checked it and tried to arrest me for it I would probably go for suicide by cop.
No.444228
>>444226
Just got out of jail last month for ordering a Puni Hole from J-List. I specifically asked them to remove any artwork from the package before shipping and they just disregarded my request completely, shipping it in box. My lawyer said that the address they ship from on the J-List website is red-flagged for underage content and customs keeps an eye out for them.
Aside from being really emberassing, the trial was pretty rough. They have zero tolerance for that stuff and since I was being charged with purchasing CP I was pretty much a monster to them. I got 30 days in jail (with 15 suspended) and a 5,000 dollar fine and also had to register as a sex offender.
Beware.
No.444230
>>444228
What country was this in?
No.444231
>>444228
I was planning to order from NLS or something like that, if I can't find an Amazon seller who will remove the packaging. I'm a man fast approaching 30 who's ugly as shit, has health problems out ever hole, and is incredibly awkward. I just want some sexual comfort to make life a little more bearable. I don't like Trudeau but I would vote for him next election in a heartbeat if he legalized lolicon.
No.444232
>>444228
That's what you get.
No.444233
>>444226
>>444228
Looks like the best option would be going to Japan and sneaking what you want back in. I knew a guy who brought two katana's and a set of brass knuckles back with him from Japan. Not so sure if katana's are restricted from import but I know brass knuckles are. Although if you guys are from North America you probably have to deal with the post 9/11 airport security, in which case you might be out of luck.
No.444234
>>444230
>>444231
>>444233
Relax it's /jp/ copypasta.
No.444236
>>444234
Anon, this is life-or-death for us, the most dangerous thing we're ever likely to do. It's not nice to trick people.
No.444237
>>444236
I know, I import loli goods into the UK, so I risk having my boipucci allah ackbar'd while in prison. I just find it mildly amusing that it still gets people even after all these years.
No.444238
>>444219
What are Canada's laws like? I know in a lot of countries where loli is technically illegal, as long as the boxes aren't blatant loli sex toys, you won't get in trouble. Of course you can get around this by simply getting it shipped without the box.
No.444240
>>444238
I'm not sure how strict they would be on the actual toy, but my name would be dragged through the mud and I'd probably end up on probation or something. That's basically the most they can do for JUST lolicon here. It's still life-ruining.