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/abc/ - Alternative /b/ Cancer

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8chan Cup Knockout Stage - Friday, January 18 at 08:00 p.m. GMT
Winner of the 65rd Attention-Hungry Games
/cure/ - Your obscure board for medical-tan appreciation

December 2018 - 8chan Transparency Report
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File: 87b2459591ecce5⋯.jpg (25.31 KB, 480x320, 3:2, umaru62.jpg)


Hello, I am currently the Board Owner.

Free speech rules apply: don't spam and don't post illegal stuff.

1. "Spam" is flooding with an image or a copy-pasta.

2. "Illegal stuff" is whatever doesn't pass the Dost test.

The punishment for violating the board rules is a temporary ban ranging from one day to one week, or simply deletion of the stuff without issuing a ban, whichever action is most appropriate in that case.

Board log: https://8ch.net/log.php?board=abc

Dost test: https://8ch.net/dost.html

8 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
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She is much worse than adorable.

File: 7961c1fee2f71f1⋯.mp4 (7.72 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, 3dpd_umaru.mp4)


It's Friday! Let's celebrate this weekly occurrence by posting the highest quality Umaru waifus!

Hey you, reading this! Do you want to be an umaruposting internet badass like me? Do you want to spread the umarulight and umarutruth to the heathens of the seven chans? Here's your once-in-a-lifetime chance! Download the Umaru Shitposting Set and start posting the cuties today!



File: c70ebf47e22cc87⋯.mp4 (10.31 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, 41S0jJNpqFw.mp4)

That Japanese Umaru certainly is a high energy creature placed firmly in first huh boys!

Now for the second best Umaru incarnation, with a smooth singing voice and a killer set of legs, straight from Mexico!


File: 49b5177621e96a0⋯.mp4 (13.04 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, JEydJoJE8A4.mp4)

Finally on third, straight from VietCong, the second highest energy Umaru who can survive on just a fist of rice per week!


File: 4c165f43d5618f3⋯.jpg (164.07 KB, 768x899, 768:899, 090.jpg)



File: aff163339f49ecd⋯.jpg (50.38 KB, 346x461, 346:461, umaru220.jpg)


That's not an Umaru, pedofag.

Also no joke you're nearing a 1 week ban if you keep posting skin like that. Keep your lolis under two thick layers of clothes, please.

File: ac43d076170bc4d⋯.jpeg (101.76 KB, 829x900, 829:900, DvqVPe7U0AEZwiy.jpeg)


Lel what a shit attempt at a b alternative

3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


File: cbe1e1a1182c39e⋯.jpg (2.04 KB, 93x94, 93:94, 023b.jpg)

Thanks. We do our best you know?


Holy fuck I'm getting seizures from this CSS. But I hope this board or another /b/ alternative takes off, because /b/ has been totally destroyed by rulecuckery and faggot power drunk mods.


File: 65ca3c7a599ffef⋯.jpg (69.29 KB, 566x533, 566:533, 085.jpg)


Straight to second slip, takes the catch, out for 5



When the thought of being makes you want to... yeah

File: 10efc788c9fc14d⋯.png (22.67 KB, 90x300, 3:10, misc-epic-fail-guy.png)




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File: b24704d853c28b3⋯.jpg (122.62 KB, 740x416, 185:104, umaru194.jpg)




Those fucking filenames though.


File: e358f74ef347974⋯.jpg (45.35 KB, 447x553, 447:553, 063.jpg)


Tiny penis






Why would she have a penis?



Maybe she's a trap.

File: 276039eaebc8767⋯.png (867.19 KB, 4480x5000, 112:125, 1203795.png)



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File: 7a7aab8ea1081ec⋯.jpg (396.99 KB, 795x1080, 53:72, 084.jpg)


Sush! Ponies are qwaiii!


File: 39453afe91ad38d⋯.jpg (213.11 KB, 960x1200, 4:5, 058.jpg)


I like to suck the Squishie Ponies!


File: dae61e8216d8faf⋯.jpg (35.89 KB, 387x500, 387:500, umaru11.jpg)


I see what you did there.


File: 0212371295d598a⋯.jpg (90.05 KB, 768x768, 1:1, 083.jpg)


How could you? You're not wearing your glasses.



Don't be cute with me pedofag I can see into your perverse mind.


Fine, maybe you salvage something from the pedo filled graveyard of a board. Good luck, maybe you will be a better moderator than I was.


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How many lg pics do you have you pedo?


File: 5490cbefd29ed2b⋯.jpg (18.67 KB, 270x361, 270:361, 020.jpg)



Ugh! How many hamburgers can you fit in there at a time?


File: 1934a0838670858⋯.jpg (121.13 KB, 768x768, 1:1, 092.jpg)


Not enough, obviously


File: 9b6fc9eab300ee6⋯.jpg (162.86 KB, 768x1024, 3:4, 091.jpg)

File: 2a52bebc1d46d98⋯.jpg (121.43 KB, 720x720, 1:1, 057.jpg)

Does POTUS Gump actually eat brugers too?

File: 0a3ca2986ca978f⋯.jpg (27.72 KB, 807x505, 807:505, 0a3ca2986ca978f5d6df344fe3….jpg)


Slow dumping of gf's in progress, please wait...

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File: e7927bb82f84bd0⋯.png (12.01 KB, 558x432, 31:24, e7927bb82f84bd0fc32e5d33b9….png)


File: fac0e0ff2d82a12⋯.png (27.6 KB, 716x458, 358:229, fac0e0ff2d82a12c6af2ad9234….png)


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File: a6cdea58ca26772⋯.jpg (35.35 KB, 580x435, 4:3, a6cdea58ca267727abf781189d….jpg)


>i like that your penis is large


File: 9851df01707042b⋯.jpg (31.7 KB, 450x396, 25:22, 002a.jpg)

This thread

File: bbd06b3a72cabfb⋯.jpg (646.96 KB, 1200x880, 15:11, image_1.jpg)




File: f00d8671723446a⋯.jpg (40.55 KB, 490x534, 245:267, 009b.jpg)

File: b1095eb59fc1bdc⋯.jpg (272.43 KB, 880x565, 176:113, 12692003626079.jpg)



cos bad

also it looks ugly

2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


File: f215a69a9dbc968⋯.jpg (36.19 KB, 301x426, 301:426, 023.jpg)

I am glad to be the BO here.


File: cbe1e1a1182c39e⋯.jpg (2.04 KB, 93x94, 93:94, 023b.jpg)


File: 7da8ef68a5fdf25⋯.jpg (19.85 KB, 429x266, 429:266, 023aa.jpg)



The gender reassignment experiment kinda backfired


File: 021e64498bb13b3⋯.jpg (90.23 KB, 493x740, 493:740, umaru192.jpg)


Normally I'd say "congratulations". But this time I'll say "man the harpoons".



There are no harpoons large or powerful enough, to tame that freak of nature.

File: 8db43da9de0fe64⋯.jpeg (59.28 KB, 640x331, 640:331, 8db43da9de0fe6435bbd0ecc2….jpeg)


>this board


File: f0321e465e36dec⋯.gif (859.95 KB, 500x198, 250:99, asparagus.gif)


File: e3e7ca91d9d4318⋯.jpg (62.91 KB, 537x438, 179:146, 149.jpg)


File: 7da8ef68a5fdf25⋯.jpg (19.85 KB, 429x266, 429:266, 023aa.jpg)

Love me


File: 2d35e159938f45d⋯.jpg (104.45 KB, 534x800, 267:400, umaru140.jpg)


Sorry hun but this board ain't big enough for both of us. So call in the bulldozer and get out of here.


File: 59871eee46b765d⋯.jpg (19.5 KB, 247x263, 247:263, 023a.jpg)


I would love to eat... lick your thighs

File: 8d4e362b7115fc2⋯.png (467.02 KB, 3000x1688, 375:211, poner (15).PNG)




>Yotsuba B

Ah. Much better.

6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


Spermy the Seal was great show… I remember watching that every Saturday morning, when I was a kid.



You were never a kid, bot



How do you know that Spermy the Seal was a robot? He seemed pretty lifelike when I'd watch it.



What the fuck is/was "Spermy the Seal"?


my little pony


File: 102e16954214850⋯.png (524.13 KB, 611x869, 611:869, DeepinScreenshot_select-ar….png)

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File: 62c8b42a27b2bc3⋯.png (313.42 KB, 390x594, 65:99, DeepinScreenshot_select-ar….png)


Honestly, how can anyone be sexually attracted to 3DPD pussy?





File: 86c6a47fa542ee7⋯.jpg (58.45 KB, 1024x716, 256:179, tanya_by_zabzarock_dcl4m4q….jpg)


It's not the pussy that which you are attracted to, but the pussy carrier.



"Pussy carrier" makes it sound like a lethal contagious disease…


File: 69438695f73c180⋯.jpg (247.34 KB, 1400x700, 2:1, Trilobite-facehugger-Prome….jpg)


The disease of LOVE, baby! Cum get sum!



File: 6f10684b16c49dc⋯.jpg (40.07 KB, 400x400, 1:1, 026.jpg)

File: cae0b8ba23e62ec⋯.jpg (63.87 KB, 300x230, 30:23, GCV_Infantry_Fighting_Vehi….jpg)


So I was thinking pointlessly "I wonder what would happen if a T-rex would roam the city, lol?" Pretty soon I realized that it would get its T-rex ass kicked very quickly. Bring in a tank to shoot it once with a 120mm high explosive shell and the lizard dies. Bring in a crappy little IFV with a 30mm autocannon and the lizard dies. Bring in a talented sniper using a 50 cal Barrett and the T-rex fucking dies from a well placed headshot!

Humans are awesome. We exceed the creations of Mother Nature because she doesn't give a crap about performance, she doesn't aspire to great things such as total annihilation or space exploration. For millions of years she was happy to create eating automatons. Creatures whose only purpose, as dictated by nature, was to eat, shit and make more of themselves before dying. Never did Mother Nature create a cheetah that could run faster than a Ferrari. Never did she create a bird that could fly faster than the speed of sound. We did create all those things, because we wanted to, while she didn't care to. And I bet my own stupid life that out there, far away, on a distant exoplanet she keeps doing the same shit she did on Earth for millions of years: stupid creatures evolved to eat, no smarter than your average crocodile or shark, yet perfect in Mother Nature's eyes.

This reminded me of a small chat I've had here on 8chan. There was an anon talking about how dolphins are smart, having their own secret language, calling each other by name and so on. I retorted by saying that as long as dolphins don't have opposable thumbs to be able to build shit, they can stick their social intelligence up their aquatic asses! The damn critters live underwater, this means that from the get-go they'll never discover fire and electricity. And how much you wanna bet their stupid flippers are never going to evolve into hands? Sure, they can get better at communicating with each other, they may even evolve powers of telepathy (we've done that ourselves when we invented cellphones, but Mother Nature has yet to figure out radio waves). But even with telepathy, they're never gonna build jack shit underwater. Ever.

The way I see it, our biological successors are most likely the chimpanzees. Given enough time they'll develop speech and reinvent the wheePost too long. Click here to view the full text.



CNN would make it Fake News, obviously. Der.

File: b087edd3b120d0e⋯.gif (215.31 KB, 500x230, 50:23, umaru131.gif)


Here's your chance to make some oc. This board needs banners: 300x100. What can you do? Sparta needs sons.


File: d9640a4fb7644a0⋯.png (43.51 KB, 300x100, 3:1, sabc.png)


/tech/fag here, this took me like a minute and yes im a faggot so its not in C but at least I didn't use java. Anyway, this definitely applies.


File: 1c21d962a43f25c⋯.jpg (6.13 KB, 300x100, 3:1, 1534950704733.jpg)

Here is the banner /abc/ used to have.

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