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/abc/ - Alternative /b/ Cancer

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Winner of the 68rd Attention-Hungry Games
/d/ - Home of Headswap and Detachable Girl Threads

January 2019 - 8chan Transparency Report
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Increased page count from 1 to 25 lol. Also enabled posters to self delete.

File: 87b2459591ecce5⋯.jpg (25.31 KB, 480x320, 3:2, umaru62.jpg)

a3cf9c  No.1684[Reply]

Hello, I am currently the Board Owner.

Free speech rules apply: don't spam and don't post illegal stuff.

1. "Spam" is flooding with an image or a copy-pasta.

2. "Illegal stuff" is whatever doesn't pass the Dost test.

The punishment for violating the board rules is a temporary ban ranging from one day to one week, or simply deletion of the stuff without issuing a ban, whichever action is most appropriate in that case.

Board log: https://8ch.net/log.php?board=abc

Dost test: https://8ch.net/dost.html

8 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
Post last edited at

000000  No.1833


She is much worse than adorable.

File: be448ff8dd00a46⋯.jpg (225.41 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, umaru117.jpg)

c8ecc1  No.1970[Reply]

So I was thinking, one Umaru is one Umaru. That's straightforward. But what about when there's two of them, or more? How do you say it? Up until now I would have said "2 Umarus" but what if it's wrong? What if the correct way of saying it is "2 Umari" or "2 Umaruses"?

Why must everything be so complicated.

1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

c8ecc1  No.1973

File: dae61e8216d8faf⋯.jpg (35.89 KB, 387x500, 387:500, umaru11.jpg)


>You're meds


I highly recommend going to visit you're school again.

ff7902  No.1977


Ching chong chow to you as well!

c8ecc1  No.1985

File: 9766a17651afe23⋯.jpg (110.47 KB, 682x1023, 2:3, umaru204.jpg)


Send me an email sometime. I want to figure out why you hate me and maybe make peace. I mean it. What you do is like, show up at a friend's house then shit everywhere except in the designated shit receptacle in the bathroom. Then you leave without helping him clean up. Then when he opens his fridge for a snack, what does he find? Shit.

74b19e  No.1989

my email: potustrump@whitehouse.gov.org

c8ecc1  No.1994

File: a04fe335ac8785e⋯.jpg (229 KB, 960x1199, 960:1199, umaru129.jpg)


I was serious about the email though. If you ever decide you want to start communicating instead of jewing around:


File: f0ce832dbf238e8⋯.jpg (212.81 KB, 700x523, 700:523, omg-cat-funny-4.jpg)

5a6a30  No.1982[Reply]

I've been informed that I could get some cp here.

Anybody got any?

037ed0  No.1984

File: 87b2459591ecce5⋯.jpg (25.31 KB, 480x320, 3:2, umaru62.jpg)


You got informed wrong, bucko. What you can get is freedom and shit.

20304d  No.1986


Nice try fbi

9ee46e  No.1988

File: 53d4b7579b04f8f⋯.jpg (41.66 KB, 425x400, 17:16, 009.jpg)

Just ignore us. Thanks.

037ed0  No.1993

File: 1d517c7c39d7b17⋯.jpg (19.9 KB, 474x355, 474:355, CP.jpg)

Yall niggers do know this is technically a CP request thread. And you're posting in it.

File: fd888f67f16ed23⋯.png (152.64 KB, 451x387, 451:387, umaru225.png)

78a1f7  No.1954[Reply]

I don't know where the other banner thread went*, so here's a new one.

Ponefags, all 1 of you, entertain me and make an /abc/ ponebanner. Same goes for pedofags but keep it legal or I ban your child molesting asses!

* Page count was 1. So now I know.

2 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
Post last edited at

78a1f7  No.1962

File: bf991085ee403bc⋯.jpg (98.95 KB, 494x740, 247:370, umaru152.jpg)

>mfw asking ponefag and pedofag to post

>mfw they don't post

It must be that these creatures of darkness lose their energy if you don't ban them and are unironically nice to them. That, or my board sucks ass.

e71c82  No.1965

File: 1afa9b6819635b2⋯.png (24 KB, 300x100, 3:1, bad.png)

First attempt ever. Can't say I'm happy about it. How do people do these so well?

78a1f7  No.1966

File: 665e53214903690⋯.jpg (70.62 KB, 740x493, 740:493, umaru153.jpg)


Super mediocre! Thanks!

f9c5ac  No.1967



78a1f7  No.1992

File: b98614da61e1ebe⋯.jpeg (53.67 KB, 800x582, 400:291, umaru232.jpeg)

I'm still waiting for the pedobanner, pedofag. The banhammer's waiting also.

File: 4cc338ee1edff0d⋯.png (119.81 KB, 551x678, 551:678, 1421580568225.png)

File: b1fb2ccf685bfe8⋯.png (84.36 KB, 209x272, 209:272, 1318688530740.png)

f45d6f  No.1976[Reply]

>mfw I used to get all of the trips/quads on this board

>mfw I don't anymore

5aae50  No.1978

File: 7afe9aacf0ec3d5⋯.jpg (18.35 KB, 298x239, 298:239, 023d.jpg)

bf89a1  No.1981

File: 79427a7350c3ec9⋯.jpg (29.65 KB, 740x491, 740:491, umaru94.jpg)


Don't worry ponefag. The giant >>>/b/8888888 GET is approaching. Obviously I'd like it for myself but knowing my bad luck you'll probably get it instead. If only you'd post poneporn to it, though.

46df43  No.1987


You are a poopy head

bf89a1  No.1991

File: 240eeccf95c665c⋯.jpg (90.19 KB, 699x996, 233:332, umaru85.jpg)


Umaruhaters gonna umaruhate.

File: fe1b4acdbc66c84⋯.png (59.8 KB, 179x228, 179:228, comfy.png)

df16a7  No.1963[Reply]

>refresh catalog after a good night's sleep

>no new posts

Ah. Comfy speed.

3 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

d841bf  No.1972

File: 8f414f0f2a0390f⋯.jpg (12.92 KB, 300x250, 6:5, 023c.jpg)






0070e6  No.1974

File: 570cfc73aaf7b96⋯.jpg (40.38 KB, 1001x1001, 1:1, umaru55.jpg)


But what does it mean?

756970  No.1980


You will become nothing more than a cartoon shit.

0070e6  No.1983

File: b24704d853c28b3⋯.jpg (122.62 KB, 740x416, 185:104, umaru194.jpg)

Golly, look at all these shitposts.

6d1ea8  No.1990

Did someone mention shitposts?

File: 4bde61285ad6cbe⋯.png (562.79 KB, 747x843, 249:281, flutters with great hair.png)

44612a  No.1940[Reply]

Add IDs to this board. I want to laugh at the resident spammer.

6 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

0a35a8  No.1948

File: dae61e8216d8faf⋯.jpg (35.89 KB, 387x500, 387:500, umaru11.jpg)


Don't break the rules, pedofriend.

77e38d  No.1949

File: fd354a625c7f44d⋯.jpg (30.99 KB, 246x223, 246:223, 134b.jpg)



What was the image?

0a35a8  No.1950

File: 1d517c7c39d7b17⋯.jpg (19.9 KB, 474x355, 474:355, CP.jpg)


>What was the image?

0a35a8  No.1975

File: 0c6c04c47b94403⋯.jpg (43.01 KB, 736x490, 368:245, umaru8.jpg)


It's been a week since I enabled ID's and flags but nobody's laughing. The shitspammer is using sophisticated IP cloaking technology. I don't know what to do now. All hope seems lost. Flushed down the toilet. And here I was, hoping for quality 8chan posters to balance him out.

a74aff  No.1979

File: d6185651e33f48d⋯.jpg (141.85 KB, 627x470, 627:470, 014a.jpg)


That's terrible!

File: 545a413fb0ab25b⋯.jpg (170.39 KB, 639x800, 639:800, X_902_v02_M.jpg)

ad9ed5  No.1908[Reply]

>Sorry. Tor users can't upload files on this board.

>becomes a moderator of a tor board

8 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

669222  No.1927



Share the love.

6d20b1  No.1951

File: f2fcb21e6c4edbd⋯.jpg (42.66 KB, 419x357, 419:357, 177a.jpg)

This has nothing at all to do with anything in this thread, but - here it is.

b9f1bc  No.1953

File: 60df60c687052b4⋯.jpg (43.08 KB, 740x492, 185:123, umaru190.jpg)


Who's in there? What's in there?

9c84e0  No.1959


Open the booby-tapped door and find out, faggot.

b9f1bc  No.1961

File: f18605aa493adea⋯.jpg (18.94 KB, 369x413, 369:413, umaru83.jpg)



File: 10efc788c9fc14d⋯.png (22.67 KB, 90x300, 3:10, misc-epic-fail-guy.png)

7ac19d  No.1808[Reply]



7 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

000000  No.1834



56beb2  No.1835


Why would she have a penis?

000000  No.1837


Maybe she's a trap.

6e5bba  No.1958


But then he wouldn't be a she

339dcb  No.1960



File: 65a07eaaa55f7ca⋯.jpg (62.31 KB, 458x1024, 229:512, 12412521343.jpg)

97e864  No.1918[Reply]

>think someone saged my thread

>turns out they just wrote their real email into the field

15 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

20ec79  No.1938

Guess what i just did into a hankie?

ab29c0  No.1939


58cbdf  No.1947



f2b2c5  No.1952


000000  No.1955


Flu snot?

File: 5921f219ca8012a⋯.gif (106.27 KB, 347x347, 1:1, raritynotimpressed.gif)

9aa6c8  No.1877[Reply]

>/b/ alt attempt

>I'm the only one posting

Every time.

29 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

86b8f5  No.1907

File: b0ea8d0e5e6f139⋯.jpg (47.72 KB, 365x522, 365:522, 137a.jpg)

I am happy

000000  No.1910


You don't look happy. Post some Dysnomia memes for me. Or I ban you.

c1f2ce  No.1912

File: 156c5607a75682e⋯.jpg (19.26 KB, 365x374, 365:374, 018a.jpg)


Who is Dysnomia?

39af60  No.1913

File: 698f1f80b6203ad⋯.jpg (19.75 KB, 335x507, 335:507, 022b.jpg)



"He who must not be named"

fbe41c  No.1917

I love this thread, simply because:

1] No one reads a single post

2] No one has ever replied to a single post.

It's pure cancer, in its purest form ever.


Be proud.

You are going God's work.

File: 1b5cc05a2e037cf⋯.jpg (106.17 KB, 1280x891, 1280:891, 1423893606881.jpg)

e00d4d  No.1860[Reply]


8 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

018c06  No.1872

File: 698f1f80b6203ad⋯.jpg (19.75 KB, 335x507, 335:507, 022b.jpg)


Can i squeeze in here too?


65381b  No.1873


Please stop being so cruel to dysnomia... it's not his fault his parents are siblings!

594ccd  No.1874

File: cd96f7157abfb2d⋯.jpg (84.82 KB, 626x559, 626:559, 005.jpg)

e3a905  No.1875


Could be a Nigger


e0b36b  No.1876

Let's all sing this classic camp-fire sing-a-long together, shall we?

Holy Diver

Rides the Tiger

With shiny diamonds

In a Child's Vagina


File: 97f9d9618538c85⋯.jpg (98.1 KB, 618x619, 618:619, 1293708966365.jpg)

b3a3e8  No.1864[Reply]

Hope to see your shitty board end up on some local town news site next to a picture of your gross ass face in your official police photo :^)

No lie cunt I actually sent this pathetic excuse of a board through the FBI tip page, attached with an archive.org link, then added that they can contact the admins who can hand over any data necessary. You dun goofed.

72d6a8  No.1865

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Sometimes... this.

b17488  No.1866

File: 32af5bdd5b96c00⋯.jpg (61.81 KB, 529x562, 529:562, umaru121.jpg)


Umarus will never be the same.

File: 7961c1fee2f71f1⋯.mp4 (7.72 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, 3dpd_umaru.mp4)

2f3c58  No.1839[Reply]

It's Friday! Let's celebrate this weekly occurrence by posting the highest quality Umaru waifus!

Hey you, reading this! Do you want to be an umaruposting internet badass like me? Do you want to spread the umarulight and umarutruth to the heathens of the seven chans? Here's your once-in-a-lifetime chance! Download the Umaru Shitposting Set and start posting the cuties today!


10 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

2f3c58  No.1853

File: cdcf69bdc248726⋯.jpg (56.78 KB, 564x846, 2:3, umaru53.jpg)



The Umaru forgives all haters. For such is its gentle nature.

fdac47  No.1856

File: 8f2743c6cdea654⋯.jpg (9.03 KB, 329x329, 1:1, 006.jpg)

2f3c58  No.1857

File: 570cfc73aaf7b96⋯.jpg (40.38 KB, 1001x1001, 1:1, umaru55.jpg)


Confronted with the Umaru's kindness you realize your insults are nothing more than internalized anger. Let go of your anger and escape the darkness of your hate. Embrace the Umaru and it will guide you to the light.

a27518  No.1858

File: c5b5c956601d25d⋯.jpg (32.98 KB, 413x560, 59:80, 006b.jpg)


Forgive me... i am nothing but a giant cock.

2f3c58  No.1859

File: 69438695f73c180⋯.jpg (247.34 KB, 1400x700, 2:1, 69438695f73c1807b354abacf8….jpg)


At least you're not a giant pussy, my feathered friend.

File: 276039eaebc8767⋯.png (867.19 KB, 4480x5000, 112:125, 1203795.png)

96a668  No.1749[Reply]


16 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

000000  No.1836


Don't be cute with me pedofag I can see into your perverse mind.

5d7993  No.1850



Are you a prophet?

326915  No.1852

File: d2a35232f18d22d⋯.jpg (84.41 KB, 768x773, 768:773, 094.jpg)


NO! I am a little girl, and I have come to smile at you innocently! Be terrorized!

ae9ec5  No.1854

File: 69fc5bc4ff1cfe7⋯.jpg (144.68 KB, 648x638, 324:319, umaru75.jpg)


>Be terrorized!

You're on the wrong board bucko, this ain't /b/. Though I have to say, she is showing a bit too much armpit skin. Post well dressed girls from now on (at least 3 layers of clothes, not counting the burqa) or I must regrettably shadowban you.

8a8a9c  No.1855

File: 10a5d36dc6085d4⋯.jpg (35.81 KB, 326x301, 326:301, 004a.jpg)

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