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/adv/ - Advice

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File: 0b9e82945bfc41b⋯.png (945.94 KB, 1080x1080, 1:1, sketch-1546691145541.png)

 No.1582

This guy and I have been close friends for over 10 years, and I have fallen hard for him. We've never dated each other but we both clearly have strong feelings for each other. We've spoken intimately and have behaved romantic towards each other, done most things just short of having sex. He is worried he is not mentally ready for any relationship due to his past failed relationships. Because I work and live abroad, distance is also a convenient excuse for us not to date.

Each time we see each other in person, things get heated, leading up to the moment I fly out of the country. He seems good at compartmentalizing because he is content about staying friends with the intermittent benefit of physical intimacy. I feel like it's hard for me each time. I get overwhelmed by my feelings for him and want more than just friendship. Whereas he seems to be able to remain friends regardless of how far (short of sex) we get, I get frustrated and expect more. I have to piece myself back together and the cycle repeats.

I haven't confess my love for the guy, but I am sure he already knows–it was clear through my body language each time we hung out. Recently, I outright asked him if he would consider a relationship with me. In response, he said he says he cares about me, but he is sorry that he can't give me a straight answer. A flat rejection might have been easier to deal with.

A career opportunity is coming up that will let me be physically closer to him. I am hopeful that if I lived near him, we can date. But I wonder if it is worth it to have hope for me and him. Once circumstances change, would he be ready? Or should I expect to get friend zoned forever? Do you think I should close ties and move on?

 No.1583

I'm no casanova so forgive me if this is a bit cheesy. Still, cheesy and cliche advice stays that way for a reason.

Since he hasn't outright rejected you, there is still a chance with him.

Let me put it this way: say you tell him and he says no. You'll feel like absolute garbage but you'll get over it in time. Might take a long time but I guarantee you that you'll find some other person in your life.

If you don't ever tell him? This will be something you regret until the day you die.

Are you prepared to deal with that? That's really what you need to ask yourself.


 No.1587

This. You should tell him how you feel. Or else live a life of regret.


 No.1597

You're overrhinking this OP. He might not want LDR and that's OK. It's probably just distance


 No.1602

Does he have a reason to think of you more seriously now than he has in the past? You were both just hooking upbit sounds like, so what has changed? If you suddenly wanted to get more serious, what does that really have to do with him?




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