38e5d8 No.291
My mom has often been so angry with me. The majority of the time I'm with her. So harsh. Pure rage for the littlest of things. Things like she saying that she hates me or constant criticism, invalidation, humilation and paranoia, she always thinks I'm out to hurt her or whatever. As a child it was at the level of emotional abuse and I think helped cause me to develop a (schizoid) personality disorder.
She does care for me I mean she is concerned about my well-being and she does try to be nice (although it doesn't last longer than an hour) recently.
Last time I was late for an appointment with her and she was angry for hours and hours constantly attacking me at one point almost violent and if I yell back she tells me that I am misbehaving and that since I don't get this angry with my dad I pick him over her and don't love/care about her and only my dad and then tries to antagonize me against my dad.
Should I still visit her? She does love me I guess in some way she does care about my well being and she does want contact. We just tried visitation like contact for years and it didn't work. Is there any way I should behave to make something out of the relationship with my mother?