ed8669 No.316
Let us preface this by saying that the level of open honesty needed for proper advice is not something I normally do. Some parts may be vague, I am doing my best so please bear with.
I am a girl. I am also trans. For 2/3 of my life, I have had a best friend. She annoys me to no end but she has always been there for me. For the past few years she has had more romantic feelings toward me. Until last night I was largely resistant. I have always wanted nothing more than to be a normal girl doing normal girl things, and have been unhappy with myself for not being attracted to men. Also I have been afraid, as my relationships have had the trend of ending with my pushing the other person away.
For the past two months or so, I have been drinking slightly more than I should. Last night was such a night, and someone said something which made me realize how much I had taken for granted with the best friend. I called her over to my apartment and blubbered at her for a while. She kissed me and told me to go to sleep, then tidied up my drunken mess.
To the crux of the issue. Though I have only a single friend offline, I have a handful online. Recently, an online friend developed a huge crush on me and I allowed things to happen because I was feeling lonely and depressed. I made the unbelievably stupid mistake of telling them about last night and not lying about anything. They are understandably upset. They removed me from all forms of communication. I feel like a shitty human being for hurting them. I feel even shittier for resenting them for being upset when I am happy.
My question becomes this. Is there a way to come out of this with both the friendships intact? I am at a loss.