I live in the middle of nowhere because of my job. I don't hang out with people often because of my location. So a lot of times I feel lonely and depressed.
But in the rare instance where I do go commute and interact with people in a bar, I'm fucking terrible at it. Not only do I just suck at it, but I also can't stand being in crowded areas for too long.
Yesterday I was at a bar with a big group of people I know. I liked this one girl for awhile and when I went for it last night, I got rejected. Later another guy I know walked out of the bar with her (they're officially a couple as of today), so that lowered my already nonexistent self esteem. This, as well as being in a crowded bar just made me feel like shit.
One "friend" of mine went up to me and said that I just suck out all the joy in the room. Her blunt saying to me made me just walk out of the bar and go pass out in an alley for the night.
How do I stop being such a loser? All I want is a group of friends that want to hang out with me but nobody I know is really into the same stuff I'm into and I'm just terrible at being a normal, sociable person.