Kind of a long story but bear with me.
A year ago, I was a 24 year old, kissless virgin. no girlfriend ever. I decided its time to change that so I swore that that by my next birthday I'll change that and atleast start a relationship. So I started working out, working on my looks, started hitting dating sites, asked friend to set me up and went out of try and pick up women (not an easy thing for a guy with a history of social anxiety) I did everything I could think of.
Last week I celebrated my 25th birthday, but little has changed. and I am unsure what went wrong. is it me just having unrealistic standards? is it me being a coward? or maybe its simply a lack of chemistry? maybe because I am so quiet and introverted and do more listening than talking?
First woman I dated was older than me, 33. I was upfront about my lack of experience just to make it clear I dont know what the fuck I am doing. she took it fairly well and took lead a little, however she was kind of stressful as she often mentioned our age difference (does it really matter?) and she asked me out on a second date less than an hour after the first on ended.
Problem is that on my end I didnt really feel any attraction, physical or emotional. I figured it comes with time so I ended up dating her for a bit under two months but nothing changed, we ended up breaking up and I just feel like I wasted my time and hers. On future dates I didnt repeat the same mistake and if there wasn't any attraction by the second date I called it quits. I cant say it wasn't fun but it felt like I was hanging out with friends from work/uni rather than dating. no attraction what so ever.
Last woman I went out with was different. I had fun with her and I think she had fun aswell, it was a very good first date but I didnt want to rush anything so it ended up with nothing. a week later we set up a second date and she tells me she got a promotion offer from her job but it requires her to relocate to a different country (dont know if true or an extravagant lie, not sure I want to know so I'll assume its true) I wanted to end the date with something atleast but I was afraid of getting attached to a doomed relationship so I ended up veering towards a kiss on the cheek, my "greatest" accomplishment so far. after many failures I got a ray of hope and it ended up a disappointment.
Now, for my questions.
1. How do you deal with the constant effort, the searching, the trying, the disappointing failure.
2. Am I doing something wrong? is there something wrong with me that none of the relationships with all these women didnt work?
3. One of the women I dated said I cant read a sign, an accusation my friends told me once before. How do I learn to read the damn signs?