coming over from >>>/advice/283I'll try to make it short: >out of uni 2 years or so>was great at uni, got a job fast, talent recognized. etc >switch jobs for a 15k+ raise and better working conditions and benefits>work there for a few months>

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Anonymous 09/27/15 (Sun) 16:39:59 0a4917 No.721

coming over from >>>/advice/283

I'll try to make it short:

>out of uni 2 years or so

>was great at uni, got a job fast, talent recognized. etc

>switch jobs for a 15k+ raise and better working conditions and benefits

>work there for a few months

>friend looking for new job

>we're hiring

>have reservations because not sure if friend is competant.

>been a year since he's been in the field, does side projects, seems to know what he's talking about most of the time

>refer him in

>team interviews him, they like him, but want to test him

>I have to make the test. boss emails it to him

>he has one week

>this weekend hang out with him, he's frustrated by the test, can barely get started and says he feels stupid

>spend an hour talking to another friend about my reservations, worries, and talking about other friends shortcomings trying to figure out if he's qualified or if I've just shot myself in the foot as far as referrel's go.

so. advice. How do I help my friend without cronyism? How do I tell me friend, without hurting his already shit pride/self confidence that he might not be good enough for the job. What do I do when he's bummed out and I have to deal with the fact that it was my test, which I thought was simple, that stumped him out and crushed his dreams?

and update from the original OP since it's been a bit.

>gave him company test

>failed to meet some requirements, but met others

>team supposed to send back feedback to him this upcoming week

>go over it with him this weekend alittle bit on the stuff he couldn't get

>has trouble with little stuff and reading documentation

In addition to the requests above, how do I handle his possible rejection by the company / how do I tell him he sucks without hurting his feeling

Anonymous 09/29/15 (Tue) 18:19:29 82f0ba No.725

The first thing to remember is that if your test wasn't considered fair, your boss would have never used it. It was used because this is the standard your company expects to uphold, it's agreed that if he wants a job there he should pass that criteria. If he can't pass it, to put it bluntly he doesn't belong there at this moment in time.

As a friend, you should be there with him to offer support. If you think he can't handle it, simply tell him the company was looking for more and that he should consider training to improve himself. Remember we cannot grow unless we work hard, sometimes we just need to take a step back and understand "okay, this isn't right for me yet. That doesn't mean that one day I won't be good enough for this though".

I want to make it clear that your boss had 100% final say in this, if you made it too easy or in a way that would naturally get him in then it would most likely look very negative on you and quite frankly would destroy a lot of trust your boss was placing in you. That would most likely have harmed your own progress within the company.

Just be a good friend, be there for him in whatever way you can as a friend. Just don't feel guilty that you acted professionally when asked.

Anonymous 10/05/15 (Mon) 04:59:14 0a4917 No.735

>>725

> It was used because this is the standard your company expects to uphold

My team actually stated that we should standardize a test for incoming applicants. Likely using the one I came up with as a base, we're interviewing another person this week and they will likely take the same test.

>That doesn't mean that one day I won't be good enough for this though".

He has trouble with this. Low self esteem thing and beating himself up while comparing himself to me. I encourage him, but he doesn't seem to take it to heart and his self worth could be much better.

>I want to make it clear that your boss had 100% final say in this,

This is something that was helpful. I also discussed this with another close friend as well as my therapist I see bi-weekly (my job is stressful). Both of them reminded me that it is not entirely my decision and that if the team chooses to go with him, even after I voice my own reservations after seeing his performance on my test, that it is not my fault.

>Just don't feel guilty that you acted professionally when asked.

I suppose my fundamental issue is that I'm not sure if they'll be able to separate the personal and professional. They see me as a friend. I see them as a possible asset to the company. I take a very strong line on dividing my personal and professional life. Essentially being two different people entirely. One fun and caring, the other serious and no nonsense. In both aspects I value honesty the most and stand by my principles.

I think the reason I'm struggling the most with this is that, having been a part of GamerGate for a time I ceased supporting it, reasons unimportant to this discussion is that Cronyism is something I frown on immensely. And I do my best to avoid it. I do not want to help a friend. I want to refer a friend who is competant. And my test was something I felt was simple, that he failed to meet some requirements honestly surprised me as I had higher expecations.

Unfortunately, I feel I am the only person on my team taking an objective stance. The other members felt, during our review of his work, like they were simply going along with it and thought it was "good enough" for the position to be filled. While I took the time to write out my notes, review all the work thoroughly, and make a point to point out the flaws I saw as well as areas of improvement or good things. I don't know if I'm just over-doing my own due diligence because of my worries of cronyism, or if it's something else. I would certainly give the same level of feedback on our incoming applicant this week (deliberating between this new one incoming and my friend), but I wonder if I was more harsh on my friend in order to counter what I saw as a poor referral since he didn't do as well as I thought and I want to make sure that it is clear to my boss and team that I see his faults and am trying to be honest, and if he doesn't get the job because of my honesty so be it.

sorry for rambling.