/art/ - Art & Creative

Procrastination

I used to waste time stuck with analysis paralysis, but, I'll be honest, now I just waste time figuring out how to waste time.

Trying to follow the advice from the video on the top of >>>/loomis/hub/ about drawing from the shoulder instead of the wrist for around a week now, and gains have been excruciatingly slow. No point in starting Loomis or Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain if I can barely control the pencil, so I'm just filling sheets with shitty curves, godawful pyramids and cubes, and circles that sometimes look okay in the hopes that I can gain some sort of mechanical skill.

usually when i draw something, i end up finding it super ugly when i finish and it sorta just makes me not want to continue

i get that practice makes perfect, but i just get this feeling that im just not "made" for drawing, you know?

Fear. Fear of disappointing the requester/commissioner(ha like I'd even get a commission). Fear that it will be the worse thing since chernobyl to exist. I avoid drawing for fun or drawthreads because of it. I look at Tower princess and want to give it a go but stop short because of how awful it will turn out. Most beginners have the problem of drawing fun things without doing studies. I have the exact opposite problem. I'm stick to only doing studies and always telling myself "I'll draw that when I'm better" without actually reaching this "better". The whole "JUST DO IT" thing doesn't seem to make me any less afraid of drawing for fun.

tl;dr anxiety and being overly hypercritical of my shit

>>4121

Don't try to always draw with your arm, also use your fingers and your elbow depending on the size of the thing you are drawing, just never use your wrist.

>>4122

when you spot whats wrong with it, move on as quickly as you can.

Make another drawing and/or study something, just don't ponder too much on how you fucked up, remember, you can always make a new one, try to make as much as possible.

>>4123

Fail fast and move forward, no one starts being great, also, alternate between doing studies and applying the knowledge you gain from them, otherwise you won't progress.

I'm adicted to type/debate shit in imageboards and the internet in general, I should be drawing right now.

>>4127

also, I lost my drive, and I don't know how to regain it.

I feel that no matter how skilled I may become, my creativity or imagination will remain stagnant and bland. I can't think of anything else more defeating that when I get to the far end of the road, there's nothing there of value to express.

>>4129

Anything you "express" with superb skill has intrinsic value, as opposed to great ideas with no skill behind, just get good, creativity comes with time and experience.

Discipline.

It's amazing when you realize what you can do when you're under pressure... and disappointing when you realize what you won't do

Alot of lazyness, distractions, some lack of direction and lack of motivation despite actually loving it when I'm actually practicing

I always have a problem of initiating it but when I'm into it, I can go on for a while until I lose concentration.

I want to draw cute animu grills but I'm also really interested in backgrounds or landscapes since they always fascinate me and get me into my imagination of how it would be if I was there.

I had this book that was generally recommended from some old threads from Betty Edwards called drawing on the right side of the brain so I can try to get a new perspective on drawing itself but comparing my own attempted drawing to the examples in some exercise got me demotivated for some reason and ended up just scribbling from time to time in a notebook never really asking for help or posting on art threads.

All at the same time while learning to program for my ambitions in life.

>>4143

damn, are you me?

>>4150

maybe

But seriously, sometimes I try to do conscious efforts of putting myself motivated so I can actually attempt to practice drawing, it gets more difficult trying to make it a daily thing, For now I've been thinking of trying to redo the book from the start except for the face drawing at the start so I'll read and draw some without putting too much thought on the quality of my drawing versus the examples, just so I can actually move forward and learn the essential

I have issues getting started. I love drawing, but it's so difficult to just get up and do it.

I think I'm afraid to fail, because I've drawn some decent shit before. But it's very hard to reproduce that quality consistently, so when I try to draw something and it goes to hell, I get depressed because I feel like I've gone backwards in terms of art skills and everything good I've ever done was just luck.

I think I need to force myself to draw, pretend that it's my job to practice and I'll get into trouble if I don't draw anything.

I have very little free time and I spend most of it shitposting on 8ch.

>>4123

Think of it this way: studies are like sports training and drawing fun stuff is like playing a game.

By doing studies you train your mind and body to understand images and how to put them on paper properly. When drawing requests and fun things you actually put those skills to the test and can see what else you need to work on to achieve results that you want.

You need to do both to get better.

>>4129

Stimulate your imagination. Watch cartoons, anime, go through artists' websites and portfolios, check out local art show, or go to a museum. Read books and pay attention to descriptions and then spend a while imagining whatever they described in as much details as you can and then consider drawing it.

As you draw ideas will come to you eventually. As long as they don't, just draw stuff from photos, real life, or requests in drawthreads.

Lack of direction

I've looked up guides on "how to draw" and I see a lot of "draw basic shapes till they stop looking like shit" but that's about all I see. So I have about 12 pages now of fucking circles and squares that are pretty decent, I guess. Do I just keep going? Where do I go from here? Do I have to achieve a perfect circle/square/triangle before continuing?

I would say direction.

I was doing graphic design for a while but not making much progress. There is a catch 22 of you need to have experience to get a job in the field, but get experience you first need a job. It makes it very hard to get started. In college, I was encouraged to take pro-bono job or internships. They often didnt lead to a real experience or expected you to continued to work for free after you graduated.

Probably my other big problem has been location. Living in San Diego there isn't much by way of an "art" scene in these parts. I was working with small business and ran into usual problems of "forgetting" to be paid, or the "this should take you 5 minutes" type deals.

I am moving to the Illustration field as that is more my passion, but i still have no direction on how to really get into it. The best advice i have is to go to conventions (and i mean more than comic cons) I am heading to one called CTNX this year to try to talk to some other people in my career path to get a better idea of where to go from here.

>>4118

I have very little motivation. I feel like it's due to a fear of the amount of effort, with a mix of laziness.

I had a lot to say, but after reflecting on it I really can't say I know for certain.

The only thing I know is that I've been drawing since I could hold a pencil, and never really had much guidance.

I know at some point growing up, I decided I didn't want to be like those Artists, you know the ones, and vowed to do my best to stray away from that lazy ass "anime" or "my style" kind of shit. As a child I was encouraged, but through probably like 3rd to 12th grade my teachers, parents, and other adult of authority would tell me to stop drawing or be annoyed I was, usually during class. I was an anxiety riddled nutcase throughout those years as well, and sketching was a coping mechanism.

What I don't know is how I transitioned from terrible off kilter drawings of my characters with circle heads and line eyes, into actually being able to build and draw characters. Like I said, I didn't really have any guidance so my stupid ass didn't spend as much time just drawing things from real life as I should have.

But at the same time I'm not as worse off as I thought I was, like I took an art class recently, (a real one for actual basics like still life and perspective) and while I wasn't really great, I wasn't like MS Paint tier on perspective as much as I thought I'd be, I was even able to do 2 point on like my first try.

I'm thinking it's because around sophomore year in Highschool I decided to actually hunker down and start gitting gud at what I'm trying to do, instead of lazily filling a page with a bunch of half assed shit.

And character drawing for me was basically anatomy study, I spent so much time staring at my hands that I can actually draw a better hand than a bottle.

At this point my problem is just accepting that I'm atrocious in a lot of areas due to doing this on my own for so long, but not actually as bad as I like to self depreciate in a lot of ways, and actually just sit there drawing forms and doing studies, as well as not sweating the small things and just doing it. I mean I'm in a similar boat to OP in that I spend a lot of time fixated on getting the small details, and the times I've just gone all loose and all "No, fuck it it's fine, just leave it and move on." I've found that I really like the way it turns out.

>>4250

Do you think it's possible to apprentice under a Master in art?

Not even as a profession, I just really feel the same way and was thinking about this last night as well.

>>4253

>Do you think it's possible to apprentice under a Master in art?

Well of course, people have been doing that forever, no?

But not every master is compatible with every apprentice I think.

Whenever I have a teacher at my back I always do good work, my problem is when left alone I drift away and can't get shit done no matter how many times I yell at myself "DO IT YOU CUNT".

>>4259

I've never really taken an art class until recently, but I can see what you're talking about.

You're probably more advanced than me at this though. I'm talking someone who'll break me down and build me up from the ground up "Master of The Dojo" style, since I can't even stop my hands from shaking half the time.

The problem I find is that most classes I've been in are ones along the lines of "just do whatever until you think it looks good" when what I want is drawabox level of instruction and guidance.

Sorry to be all "me me me" I'm not really used to this kind of stuff.

>>4262

>I'm talking someone who'll break me down and build me up from the ground up "Master of The Dojo" style

Hmm, there are craft schools/universities that have intensive art courses. Just make sure to pick the good ones, don't get scammed. Also this depends where you are living/plan on living.

A friend of mine learned for about a year under a professional in order to mainly learn figure drawing. But to be honest he's already an autistic drawing machine and his problem is different than mine.

I keep comparing myself to other artists. I often see my improvement as minimal or nearly non-existent. Plus I get really scared trying something new like I'm too scared to try digital because of how much I'll fuck up.

>>4118

living at home. No really. I lose all desire/power to be creative because stuff. Also I'm going back to university after all so creativity will be mostly relegated to hobbie status.

I can't control my emotions. Whenever I feel like I can't git Gud (like right now) it affects everything. And I have a hard time even putting pencil to paper.

>>4283

I have trouble with that too, artbro.

Try a smaller, more specific goal when you're down, not "git gud" but finish one page of studies. Like a hunter or something - I can't fight a bear today, but I can make an arrow sharp so it'll be ready.

When you're feeling shitty, git gud feels insurmountable, but you can finish one page. One page, artbro. You can do it.

You can do it.

When I try to be creative, I feel an increasing amount of terror by the thought that someone would see this.

Eventually I can't take it anymore and stop.

I know that in not so long I'll look back and think about what could have been.

Instead I work a job I hate and dream about a different reality where I'm not a coward.

>>4118

I used to draw a lot but my CS education has me sitting in front of a computer more often than in front of a notebook.

It's been a year since I've flubbed my first year of college and I'm still trying to recover from that (currently attending community college before returning). I've had zero luck finding a job to earn money for myself to buy a tablet as well.

Plus a lot of shit happening in the artist community itself that rocked my ideal of it as a profession. I was aware of the risks before but figured they wouldn't be big enough to deter me. Now I'm basically very risk-averse because my life is in precarious condition right now.

I have gone to a networking event in July and talked with a lot of people but I've done squanch with that in terms of contacting them after the fact.

I'm trying to work out if I want art to be a profession or a hobby for my future, especially since I wasn't able to get an art education like my acquaintances from high school.

http://raaamen.deviantart.com

http://kimrjee.blogspot.com/

I'm probably better off than a whole lot of you guys by the fact I even have connections, but that just makes it harder on me to decide on how I can break into professional art successfully, since I'm uncertain on the exact details of art jobs and how they work. How do you even find the channels on which you can get noticed by employers? I see great artists who barely get any attention and just put out their art for a hobby.

>>4306

I do draw and destroy those drawings.

What I find curious is that you seem to think that mentally ill people are capable of acting rationally in areas in which they are ill.

I've failed a lot in life. It is this that gives me a terror reaction.

Not that I've failed much from an objective point of view, but in my childhood there were people who convinced my that I did fail, often.

Death by a thousand cuts.

> If you really want to make it in art you're going to be doing this anyway, so you better get used to failing.

The whole point of the post was that I'm only going to feel horrible for never following this dream.

>>4307

>muh mental illness

Have some agency my sissy tumblirite friend, yo should follow your dreams regardless of what bullshit makes you feel you can't.

>Death by a thousand cuts

Grow a thinker skin, there will always be faggots giving you shit and trying to fuck with you, but only you can stop yourself from going on.

>>4307

Draw something and post it. Here.

You're scared of being humiliated. That's understandable. But the way you get over shit like this is through exposure, a little bit at a time. If you post a pic and it goes over like a turd in the punchbowl, well, you've got the best part of an anonymous board: plausible deniability. Nobody but you has to know you dropped that deuce.

Even then, when I post stinkers, the worst comments I've gotten weren't half as bad as the shit I said to myself. Besides, we might be mean sometimes, but nothing anyone here can say to you hurts more than a lifetime of regret.

You're in a bad space, but you can get out. An inch at a time, artbro.

I chickenscrtach to hell and back. It gets really bad and whatever I'm drawing gets lost in the mess. That's one reason I don't draw stuff I want to draw.

I tend to get hit with crippling self doubt really easily. Even if it's just an off day, I start to wonder if I can actually do it.

Lack of inspiration.

I seriously don't know what to write

>>4342

Just try to think of something that you always want to see/read but could not find, no matter how stupid it is. Then just write it, but don't take whole thing seriously, don't be afraid to start over, and don't cross out or destroy anything. Over time ideas will mature and you will turn them into something new and worthwhile. Additionally, to keep your imagination alive, you need to feed it. To do so watch and read new things, especially ones you have never done or do rarely. Never seen a silent movie? Watch one. Don't like manga? Read some anyway, etc.

That's what worked for me. Over time I turned a silly urban fantasy story full of fanservice, dumb jokes and gary stu mage protagonist into (I think) a decent concept for an urban fantasy story with good characters and unique mythology.

>>4338

Learn to move your hand propperly or you might develop carpal tunnel, all arm for big strokes and only fingers for little details, never, NEVER, use your wrist.

I feel like I have no direction with my studying. I used have to a pretty routine where I'd practice human anatomy/figure drawing. Ever since I tried to work with perspective and values though I feel lost. I don't have any direction to move and I see my progress slowing down to a crawl. I'm trying to learn as much as I can but in the end I feel like I'm learning less.

>>4344

Fuck you faggot, you're not the boss of me.

I need to practice my movements, I'm a shaky motherfucker who has a problem with hairy lines. I just don't have the time because of school, when I do have time I just doodle smut or shitpost.

>>4380

draw from the shoulder instead of your wrist. make sure your lines have purpose.

in my experience, hairy lines are caused by a lack of direction and a lack of confidence more than anything else.

>i don't have time

unless you're in juggling school, you'd be surprised how much time you actually have

>>4381

What do you mean by direction? I don't feel I lack confidence. Shoulder drawing feels kinda unnatural, re there any pdf's about it or is it just muscle memory?

I know I have plenty of time anon, I'm just a drunken shitposter outside of studying.

>>4385

I would hazard a guess by direction, they mean you know how you're going to draw the line beforehand to create the shape you want.

Folks like to chicken scratch the shit out of their stuff because they don't quite know what the shape is supposed to look like when they're drawing to fill in the blanks, hence the confidence in their lines is lacking due to inexperience or missing knowledge.

I could be wrong, though.

I'm this guy >>4246

I'm up to the form intersections on drawabox and paused to do the 250 box/cylinder challenge. I'm definitely going to keep going, but I'm just freaking out man.

I'm doing all the exercises, I'm even making sure to keep up and do stuff daily. Even on the days I don't want to I'll practice just drawing solid forms.

But I really want to draw my characters and design this new one, but I'm holding off out of fear that I'll undo the progress I'm making or halt other shit.

I also have no real direct guidance on this. I just submitted the first lesson to the discussion forum and I know I can come here, and do, for help on my stuff. But what I really want is what I said earlier, namely I want to just apprentice under a master in this and be taught that way. Like, to have someone actually in my life instructing me all the time and teaching me things.

I'm also afraid that at any moment it's going to get too hard and I'm going to give up, despite really really not wanting to and having been good at keeping up with my plans and commitments on this.

Also I keep looking at better artists and feeling shit about myself.

Oh man, what the fuck am I doing holy shit I'm freaking the fuck out.

>>4420

Just chill,overthinking in what you are or are not doing is an energy/time sink.

Focus on doing something until you are done, then move to something else and so forth.

Yo could try to look at worse artist to feel bad about them

>>4513

destroy it, and if it's digital just make the folder invisible.

>>4516

I won't destroy my own art, do people actually do this?

>>4570

Post your shit, son.

I've made seriously egregious mistakes and shitty art, but being told how shit it was has only made me better.

Not like, just being told it's shit but actually figuring out why and asking for help on how to correct it.

You also gotta try man, I mean you say you're Chris-Chan tier, but you can't be that bad, or impossible to improve.

For one you're aware of your flaws, that's a big thing regarding improvement.

>>4572

You have to put in effort to actually get better at drawing. He doesn't do that :)

>>4572

The latter.

For the most part I actually drew in a similar way to Chris-Chan growing up, namely just strictly whatever I felt like from imagination.

But even doing that and not knowing what makes what I still inevitably got better, chris draws not even like ten year old me since I was at least making things out of 2D shapes then.

I feel your feel deeply friend, regarding having a bunch of ideas and anxiety towards them and their quality. You just gotta put your shit out there where people will give you feedback, and then proceed to actually work on improving what needs to be improved. If you have good ideas even if you suck people will want to see more, it's just that if your art is bad they'll just want to see you get better.

So again, post your shit man.

>>4579

donut post! itsa b8

>>4584

So I actually took his criticism to heart and my mood has actually completely 180'd on this.

This method of line drawing is like a million times better and way easier, despite taking a bit more time.

But the time thing will get alleviated with practice.

Who knew getting your ego shattered could be so uplifting.

>>4584

>>4586

Neat

>>4572

He has assbrugers, therefore he is literally incapable of getting better.

people like him can only get good if they place their insane ammounts of interest not only in art but in actually studying and getting good, instead of retarded shit like sonic or pokemon

>>4592

>>>4592

I beg to differ.

If you examine Chris-Chan and his art in relation to his personality and such you'll find it's more a result of pride and narcissism than inability to progress.

While it's true that the autism distorts his worldview and how he'd draw things, a large part of it is his refusal to learn anything new.

Ignoring things like scale, perspective, anatomy, etc, even at even the most basic physical level of how to hold the instrument, Chris not only has a bizarre grip, but from his continual use of this over the years it can be inferred that he see's nothing wrong with it or any reason to change.

I'm not well versed in CWC lore enough to know if this specific topic has ever been brought up to him, but I guarantee his response to someone trying to help him even just hold his pen more comfortably would be met with dismissal.

The amalgamation of Chris's specific life and personality is why he quite literally still draws at a child's level.

>Thinking about taking comissions for dem weeaboos and furfags

>Can't work because electronical engineering is a time/energy eater

>Since i live in a nigger commie country a few buck/month is more than enough to help me olde mum

>I don't know if i'm good enough

Bros, what would take for a drawing to be worth ~15 bucks at least? How long deadlines for drawings usually are? somedays my brain just doesn't feel like fucking painting.

>>4595

It depends, I don't know the most successful rates, but what I generally see is ~10$ for linework, 15 for flats, and 20+ for various levels of shading & detailing.

But that's on tumblr from just the artists I follow, I don't know if that's the actual common baseline of it.

If you're thinking of cashing in on furfags, don't worry, they'll pay for anything. Most furfags are unimaginative as all hell (seriously how many variants on wolves alone are there?). So long as you agree to draw their DONUT STEEL for some chunk of change they'll gladly fork it over.

Dealines, idk. You should try to get it done ASAP without rushing anything. As in don't procrastinate if someone is paying you, even if it's shit you really don't want to draw.

>>4594

get a personal blog, tell everyone you are going to draw everyday or whatever goals you want to accomplish, the sheer need to avoid looking like a retard will make you work your ass off.

>>4598

>>4595

Commissions have an unspoken deadline of 3 days at most, I know of people that have taken way more to complete them though, but they seem to be friendly with the comissioner or in some other special situation that allows them to be lazy, so it is best to just do them as soon as possible.

One thing you should be wary though, is that people asking you to draw do not know what the fuck they want, so you need to say upfront "give me as much details and references as possible" so you avoid the overly common "surprise me!" followed by "this isn't what I wanted", revisions help too, but don't allow them to go "huuuuurr you know what, i don't like this idea anymore, draw this other thing", making them to pay upfront (at least half) will give you a cushion to fall into if they decide they don't want whatever you have already out effort into.

The moment I pick up a pen, pencil or stylus with the intent to draw I am filled with near murderous rage and frustration, now even before said implement touches paper or tablet.

That's why I gave up.

>>4620

>giving up

>ever

come one m8

>>4620

Harness that fury, friend.

Out of all the negative emotions keeping me alive right now, hate is the one that burns hottest by far.

>>4620

>That's why I gave up.

faggot

Just go fuck everything and try to do it. Even if the painting you spent 3 hours doing comes out looking like an autistic stick-man just keep doing it. Eventually something less shit will come out, and when that happens you'll feel proud enough at yourself to keep going.

>>4697

lethargy, you're not alone

>>4697

Ultimately it really does come down to just listening to Shia.

Sorry to say, but there's no magic "trick" to getting shit accomplished. You've just gotta do it and deal with the fact that everything becomes work after a certain point.

You can also look at it this way, would you rather live with the consequences of doing it or not doing it?

Doing it will involve working, investing actual time and effort into something, and you'll inevitably wind up more tired than not doing it. But then if you do it you'll have the benefit of having actually done it.

Not doing it will leave you like you are now, mainly wishing you'd done it.

I've got a lot of shit that I really would rather not do, but I keep going because I hate the feeling of trying to pretend I don't care more.

Even on days when I feel like absolute shit I still force myself to at least draw some forms.

It happens me while I'm finishing details of a work: "her head is too big, her eye is not in a good position". Drawing issues, and the process of resolution become in a spiral of uncertainty. It's like I fear failure but also fear success.

>>4710

Beginner's books for art tend to take consideration for the struggles of self-motivation. If you're having a hard time with basic shapes i would recommend practising line work by drawing a line and then going over it again and again trying not to deviate from the original - this helps in learning to draw from the shoulder too.

worth watching if you're in a slump

http://www12.zippyshare.com/v/KBKCxXm8/file.html

also watch yasuo otsuka's joy in motion, it's super motivating

>>4710

studying shouldn't be tedious and if you're using your brain instead of mindlessly copying, it shouldn't be boring. failure is okay, it means you're pushing yourself to grow

>>4720

Is it me or is the audio only in the right ear?

>>4721

nope, it was me all along, nevermind

Noob here, not sure if this is the right thread. Trying to learn pixel art. Is it possible to get good if I'm only using a touchpad?

>>4728

nigger you can buy a mouse for like 10 dollars. Using a touchpad is like cooking with your right hand tied behind your back because you can't be bothered to untie it.

And on that subject, a tablet isn't necessarily even good for pixel art, because pixel art requires you to place pixels precisely and sometimes one-by-one. A tablet is mostly good for drawing organic lines and for the pressure sensitivity, neither of which is needed for pixel art.

>>4729

Alright! Guess I'll get a USB mouse...

Any good resources for learning pixel art as a beginner? I don't want to try shading and other stuff I find tutorials for when I can't even get shapes right.

>>4730

You could look/ask around at >>>/agdg/ too.

>>4732

I'm actually from there, lol. Got an USB mouse, but haven't tried much pixeling yet. Want to try the basics of drawing with pencil and paper first (like >>4731 said), and balance it with the devving of the game.

Thanks for the tips.

>>4749

Is that your work? If so I can see why you feel that way.

You really should get back into it and figure out some way to combine it with programming.

>>4772

I can relate to you really strongly on this, the whole drawing since you were little, not working on it, and giving up on something you want to do.

What worked for me in getting over the excuses was a culmination of a lot of things, but it was primarily I stopped lying to myself.

Pretty much all of the reasons for why I snapped and started studying stem from that.

I think where you're struggling is you should try to find a balance with study and fun. Yeah you need to study and practice, of course you do, we all do, it's rare for someone to be like Frank Frazetta and a god damned prodigy before they're 10. But you also should look at why.

I recently had a bit of a breakdown over all of this for reasons I'm not going to bore you with, but it wound up with me basically going from diligently ~2-3 hours a day, to never leaving my room and just watching anime as long as I was awake for a week. Before it really settled in though and I was starting to lose it, I was asked

>>4769

>why do you draw?

when I was confiding in some friends.

Hearing that question, and actually asking it to myself, that was what broke me and sent me into a downward spiral of depression and hikikomori-ism for a week. I'd just never considered it and couldn't think of an answer and just wound up not even posting on 8ch during it. Somehow I brought myself back and I have some sort of answer now. It's nothing more than "I like to and want to get better at what I like to do" but it's a start.

Sorry, this turned into more just venting on my end. I don't know if I'm helping, but I hope I can.

Majority is skill, im still at beginner/less than beginner and I both lack motivation and patience to actually sit down for an hour and DRAW because i dont KNOW what to draw to practice, and things i want to draw are complicated enough that attempts are just cut short by my own inability to grasp the understanding and just frustration at my own lack of skill that i know i have none because i need to build the skill first

Plus im getting into art only because its been a thing in the back of my mind because i spend so much time on skype with actual artists and i feel like, i want to be like them but i cant push myself to be like them

I can't say I'm really "held back" as of late, seeing as I've been drawing and studying nearly every day (spare the 4-5 days I slacked) for the past 5 months; but I still feel like venting for ventings sake since nobody around me gives a single shit about art problems.

I'm kinda scared of the possibility that all my practice and time might amount to nothing. Like I'll grind and study to a pro level only to realize I'm too bland and boring to express anything worth caring about. All these people you see making beautiful, amazing shit that the world loves are always especially interesting, special individuals; and when I look in the mirror, all I see is some wannabe blank slate that tries so hard to find something that defines him, instead of simply existing as himself.

I'm also scared of my indecisiveness about what I want artistically. I always practice shit, but I'm not entirely sure what end I'm practicing towards, other than being able to just make art all the time without starving. I base this on the fact that I don't like anything else beyond drawing: I hate school and ADD makes it really difficult to keep extended focus on shit I really don't enjoy (I should have graduated in June), labor work is physically and mentally sickening to me, and any other career that involves technical shit (engineering, doctor, lawyer, etc) or droning at a desk (but not drawing) would probably drive me to suicide if I still had to do it when im 30. So I can only say I draw because it feels like the only reason I want to continue existing, and everything else just feels so dull and meaningless in comparison. Like why would I go on autopilot and drone bullshit for four decades just to throw another generation of drones into the same depressing, meaningless cycle; when I could just keep making shit? That's reason enough right? Right?

I also wanna draw lewd cartoon girls like simon sometimes (I've done it a few times when I was 15-16), but I'm paranoid of being judged by my peers and family, and losing the opportunity to be recognized by people that might give me more "wholesome", but exposing jobs because I built up a reputation as that pervert artist that draws lewd cartoon girls. It just doesn't seem like a glorious job to have, but it's so appealing at the same time. I don't fucking know.

Sorry for extra dose of directionless, autistic venting.

>>4811

Have you tried following drawabox's learning regimen?

Even if it doesn't help you learn anything it should at least give you some hunch as to how to practice

>>4123

You gotta enjoy drawing for what it is and take a step back from the whole progression of the skill. If you're not drawing what you want until you're 'better' that level will never arrive.

My environment is fucking terrible for drawing. My desk is claustrophobic, I very often get interrupted by roommates, and I'm really shit at art and most of the time I will just scrap something halfway through

>>4839

This shit is dank yo'. I don't care what level you are at, there is some solid advice here.

>>4118

Good Thread

>>4816

"Like why would I go on autopilot and drone bullshit for four decades just to throw another generation of drones into the same depressing, meaningless cycle; when I could just keep making shit? That's reason enough right? Right?"

This is exactly how I feel. That if I can't express myself what's the point of even existing?

"But I'm paranoid of being judged by my peers and family"

And this, this is why I never revealed my power level, never said what I really thought, never expressed what I wanted to express. Never sang what I wanted to sing. Never loved what I wanted to love. Of course my case is probably more extreme because my family's religion has dominated my life.

Now I'm 25 and physically and mentally damaged. I can't really draw but that's because I never really tried or felt I couldn't.

My Dad is still pushing me to get a drone job (public servant, lawyer, marketing...ect ect) doing the same thing his now deceased dad did to him, that he hated.

My mother recommend to me a voice acting school that I'd looked at before, not realizing that it was because of her that I could never sing. Because that would be gay right?

.....

I recently had to drop out of a program because of my health. Already they want me to go to some university. To have some professional training. But the reality is I have no confidence. I'm definitely and introvert now, if I wasn't always. I couldn't voice act or sing because it was like the situation wouldn't allow me. So jumping into a program, and expecting myself to preform with so much baggage, after so much suppression...

I want to be a hermit. I want to be 'my pace.' Then as the suffocating expectations of others turns to disappointment (never admitting fault of their own) and only then will I be free.

>>4816

Are you me?

Literally every point I empathize with you on a primal level, homes.

If it's any consolation at least you're not alone in these feels and we can feel them together. Though I don't really know how to remediate them.

>>4875

I feel you, you described pretty well my situation, but let's take a step back.

You just sympathized with me and the anon above me. This right here, what you are saying. This is what you need to express. Make this into art. Fuck skill level, this is about expressing yourself. Just do it now.

>>4880

Ah yes. I just bought some pencils and tracing paper. I'll start copying and writing tomorrow when it's light. The possibilities are exciting, even overwhelming. As I start to wake up, even a bit, I realize just how much I've lost, forgotten.

Skill level is only important in that it makes it easier to express what you can conceptualize.

>>4879

I just keep my head up. The fears and feels are still there, but I just try not to allow them to hold me back. Pretty much just make an effort to be an optimistic faggot about it, and just tell myself I'll make it if I keep going, because |eventually| I'll make it, or I will quite literally die trying.

the whole not knowing what I want thing, though, is pretty scary, because I don't know EXACTLY what I like. I like animated movies, so I kinda want that, but I also want concept art, illustration, being a patreon-r34 fag like simon (but that seems like a very risky road to travel considering the way the west is towards underage shit, even if it's highly stylized cartoons), doing freelance commission stuff, and even webcomics. The art world just seems so big and has so many different options that it's kind of overwhelming. But whatever I guess. You just gotta keep following your heart and all that sentimental crap.

>>4882

Can't wait to see it anon, some real feeling. Show us what you have when you've made something you're proud of, I know I will be waiting.

>>4882

>Skill level is only important in that it makes it easier to express what you can conceptualize.

This. A thousand times this.

>>4883

True that man. Every time I'm in a rut I only ever really break out by doing what you're talking about right now.

I should probably start doing what the other Anon's are talking about though and making more catharsis pieces, I used to actually do that but I stopped as soon as my life became more comfortable (ie I'm not locked inside classrooms for most of my day so I'm not forced to draw to cope anymore.) Especially since I've been telling myself to do just that for the past few days.

The uncertainty is real though, like you I'm just practicing every day in the hopes of getting better, and every time I've gotta remind myself that no, you have been getting better, and examine the stuff I've done in comparison to a few months ago.

Like, today I just got done with an amount of work on something that took me a literal week early December.

I've got some vague goal of making a webcomic, but the task is daunting and I still don't think I'm quite good enough yet to shift focus from raw practice to materializing my ideas just yet. But I'm closer, and for the first time in my life I'm able to look back on months at a time and track my progress. Before this I was just living day to day lazily in a haze.

Just gotta keep at it I guess and hopefully we're all gonna make it bruh.

>>4886

Some real shitty things have happened in my life as well. I think as long as I have art though I will be ok.

Goals are necessary and important to development. Keep on that narrow path friend.

Drawing a picture for a friend and being sort of locked into it right now. Every time I'm doing something else like shitposting or watching some shit I keep feeling like I should be getting back to what I was doing.

Also since I'm spending a lot of time on it I'm not really drawing anything else besides working on this one picture. I know it's not good to be sloppy, but there are some times when I just want to make a picture of something and just trash it afterwards, with the process and feeling of having made it being the most important "release" to me.

>>4889

>Some real shitty things have happened in my life as well. I think as long as I have art though I will be ok.

Words that kill, man. I've yet to find someone who cared about their art who didn't have at least one screw loose.

>>4890

>Words that kill, man. I've yet to find someone who cared about their art who didn't have at least one screw loose.

You too? Man. I always thought I was just being delusional. I always thought that if you cared about your art, you were two marbles short of a six pack...

Wait...

>>4890

Finished the drawing.

Feels good, but I'm going to practice my fundamentals more before I attempt sink time into anything like that again.

>>4905

I mean there's probably some out there who aren't, but I've yet to see any examples.

And if they look like normalfags, they've always got a few skeletons in the closet.

Also there's sort of an appeal to it when there's raw emotion in the piece and it's not exactly "high quality", like someone doing it in spite of everything telling them they're doing it wrong/shouldn't be. Or when it's overly distorted and stops following a lot of rules, like faces and forms becoming incredibly twisted and gnarled and stuff like the shading being just a disgusting amalgamation of a bunch of random lines.

Obviously I'm not talking about shit tier "Modern art" where it's just an excuse to be lazy. I'm talking about the ones that you can tell it took a lot of work because they poured their heart and soul into it despite their skill set. You know, shit that shouldn't look good but does.

So I have something of a unique thing that is holding me back that I think some of you may find interesting.

Nothing is really holding me back from doing "more" art. I'm one of those academic-art/classical/atelier guys so I draw all day and barely get enough free time to cook food and take a shower before going to bed (hell I even go to the studio on the weekends). I also don't have any issues with motivation or energy, I go to the studio every day and work hard. I don't feel as if I'm not improving, I've even ben set up to skip parts of the atelier's curriculum to push me forward in the program because I've learned faster than what is expected of students. The thing that is holding me back is that I feel as if I can demand more of myself.

I find it easy to get into a mode where you're working hard, from morning until late in the afternoon and you feel as if it's good enough. This attitude is further pushed on be because by a fairly large margin, my work is better than the rest of the class (trying not to sound like a dick, bragging). The incentive for me to really dig my heels in and demand more of myself isn't imposed by my environment because I am already preforming well. The problem is that I have this little voice in the back of my head whenever I look at the work my instructors do, telling me that if I just demanded more of myself, I could get closer to that level, I could be even better and learn more.

Maybe these are the ramblings of a mad-man that can't ever be satisfied. By every merit I can quantify, I am doing exceptionally well but this need to push myself even harder has lead to a lot of anxiety. I don't know if this is at all relatable but I needed somewhere to sort of vent some of my frustrations over this.

>>4918

Big band musicians had a saying - if you're the best player in a band, it's time to find another band.

Maybe you should hang out more with experienced artists, rather than spending the majority of your time with fellow students.

>>4918

Sounds like you don't have a subject. Find the subject that wanted to make you draw in the first place, and become obsessed about that. Don't obsess over the wrench, obsesses over the car.

lot of things, wich all come down on me, ofcourse. Mostly selfpity

I guess its fear? That feeling in your stomach that goes up to your chest then your temple? Yeah, everytime I pick up a pencil or open a drawing tool with my kb+m.

after every little picture I am reminded of how shit I am and how tall and enorm that "mountain"= making something that does not make me want to hang my self looks like. This is reinforced that everything I tried in my life failed. every single thing, be it social, healty, sportsy, academics, work. On top of it come my peers wich I am somehow afraid off, even though they dont know I am drawing shitty cartoons for image boards. also negative fallout from family wich somehow scared me

On top of that none existing selfesteem and a massive inferioty complex coupled with self pitying

Its a nice little circle. sage for blog/shit/r9k-posting

>>4933

Take those feelings and start thrashing a pencil around on some paper until it looks like something.

Doesn't really matter what, just get some catharsis going. One thing I'm theorizing is that that feeling never goes away no matter how good you get. Maybe it might get minimized, but I feel like if you got even the top tier artists alone in a room and some liquor in them, you could get them to express a similar feeling/situation.

Part of that probably has to do with how you're ultimately making it for yourself, praise and attention is nice but if you're not satisfied then no amount of "but I like it, Anon" will fix it. And for people like us you, it's probably next to impossible to be completely satisfied with something you made for the rest of your life.

Self-pity, self loathing, and an inferiority complex. I always see myself as some kind of failure as an artist. Like I'm not at a competent level yet when I should be. I see people posting great stuff and getting noticed for it while I'm stuck (poorly) sketching in a sketchbook destined to never leave it. There are people who are better than me who have drawn for the same amount of time I have that are light-years better than me.

I constantly wonder if I'm doing something wrong when I compare my progress to other people. People who have worked for the same amount of time I have and are already great.

Some times when I finish my drawings, all it takes is to see another completed piece of art to make me hate myself. "Why am I still stuck in my stupid sketchbook?" I ask myself.

I want to participate in fun art things, but stop myself because I remember how awful I am at art and how shit the result will be. Not even "I'm sorry it's awful but it isn't really awful it's actually great" it's more like when I say I'm awful I really mean I am awful.

Call me a faggot or drama-queen or whatever. This is the stuff holding me back. I don't want to hate myself because I fail to live up to my expectations. I want to make clean fully rendered good pieces not messy stupid sketches.

Work, mostly. I finally decided I was also gonna learn Jap and couldn't continue for 3 straight weeks because of how much work I had to do, and the only free time I have left is after 1 AM

>>4957

>I don't know if I'm helping or not,

You are helping anon. You're helping a lot. Thank you, I needed this.

I habitually compare my art to other people's art. I know it's not good for you but I can't help it. I hate artists who produce amazing things say shit like "I'm sorry this is shit" because I'd give anything to have even a half of their skill. I'd give anything to have the courage to draw whatever I wanted. I hate myself so much for it.

>>4990

Are you me?

Half the reason I look at really good art is masochism.

>>4998

You are what I used to be. I can't pretend my solutions will work for you, but in case they do:

Either get out of your room and draw in front of your parents/roommates/kids/dog, or set up a Picarto/Piczel stream so that you're forced to stay focused. Alone time with your computer full of porn is a terrible atmosphere for any kind of creative person.

Personal problems. I need cash so I can get my life started. If I devote time to drawing then I am not making money.

I haven't figured out a way to make drawing enjoyable for me yet. I need to learn to enjoy it, somehow. Otherwise it's just an exercise in futility.

And I don't mean enjoy as in "Yay I'm having so much fun". Just "I don't feel like killing myself out of frustration right now" would suffice.

I fluctuate, and haven't been doing nearly as much as I should.

Honestly I think at the root of a lot of these issues I've been having are just mental health and a little bit of seasonal shit completely unrelated to drawing.

Shit like motivation is a big issue I struggle with. Inadequacy as well, I love getting fanart (if you can call it that) or art trade stuff of my characters, but it also leaves me feeling really shitty afterwards too, seeing someone draw it better than me. I also have a hard time taking any compliments, being almost indignant that it's shit. And lately I've been feeling like I'm not going to get better, and don't really feel like I'm "better" than 6 months ago, so much as I'm "different."

In general my more neurotic traits are pretty transparent when someone gets me to drop any of my personas, and even my online friends that I have none around have started seeing a few cracks and how I'm in one of the lowest lows I've been in forever.

And this extends to drawing too, I'm getting better about chicken scratching, but I'm not really good. I'll often times find myself drawing a decent line, but involuntarily doubting myself and going over it, when in reality I should just be letting it be and if I fuck up doing it over.

That really sums up how I get stuck in a rut a lot of times, not scrapping or moving on when I should be. The times I'm either deliberately fast and loose, or slower but more deliberate, have always turned out the best.

I don't know, I'm taking steps to fix this by actually being more social with my friends, going to the gym, and making an appointment to see a therapist.

Either a subtle fear of failure or just plain distraction