/atheism/ - Atheism

My mom told me she lost the ability to believe in god when she saw my grandfather die. I was like "kek, it took you 50 years to get there? I got there in 12."

Why you guys raging? Countering with contribution.

I come from a Christian household. The reactions were varied. Some congratulated me for coming to my own conclusions, others confused, a couple became more aggressive, but in the end it was definitely the better decision to tell them sooner in my teens when I decided this.

I can see why OP posted this. Many aren't as fortunate as me when they 'come out of the closet' regarding their disbelief in a highly religious home.

I didn't. It might come up in conversation if they decide to talk about something pertaining to religion, but I've never had "the talk" with anyone in my family. If it comes up, it comes up. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

This visibly upsets them, but they don't get hostile about it anymore. They don't try to push the issue because my intimate knowledge about their personal lives makes it very treacherous territory to tread upon. If they try to guilt or proselytize to me, they're in for a world of hurt, and they know that. I am much better at debate than them and I have too much information at my disposal for them to even stand a chance. They spend too much time watching TV and not enough time informing themselves about political issues they claim to care about, so they are totally out of their league when they try to argue with me about any of it.

So they stay away from the subject because they get trounced when they take a crack at it, and I don't bring it up because I'm not a preachy fuck. I have my own hobbies, too, and I'd prefer to be left to them.

>>1835
tl;dr: I told two family members, my Dad and my grandmother, and they had very different reactions that ultimately reinforced how I felt about each of them.

>be me
>be 17
>became a firm atheist a couple of years ago, don't want to tell my family because I don't know how they'll react

Background information dump: I basically only have two close family members, my Dad and my grandmother. My mom when I was five but oddly that's not one of the things that made me question my beliefs. Dad is cool, often strict but gives me sound advice and privacy when I want it. Used to be a marine biologist so he taught me about the importance of using science to understand the world and that Old Testament myths are to be understood on a metaphorical level. He's usually a reasonable guy (not always, but who is?). I can honestly see why he's a theist, he's smart but on more of a practical level, not really that philosophical.

Grandmother is usually irrational, stubborn, and generally sort of slow. I attribute this to partly to her age because she's actually more well educated than most women of her time. The more religious of the two, she's the main reason the rest of us go to church and seems to take biblical myths at face value. She's nice, gives me whatever I want, makes me do few chores and always says how much she loves me, but I find I like her a lot less than my dad.

>my plan is to not reveal my power level until I'm moved out, or maybe even until my grandmother dies because I know she'll be the most displeased
>keep going to church every Sunday
>keep singing songs
>keep pretending to pray when I'm really just sitting there awkwardly or thinking about vidya gaems
>start feeling like shit
>every week it gets worse
>tell myself I can wait it out until I don't have to go anymore, but living a lie still makes me sick to my stomach
>start wondering why I go so far to maintain my grandmother's approval when I don't really care about her opinion at all
>decide to come clean
>decide tell dad first
>terrified of how he'll react
>he's never seemed that religious, but maybe that's just because he thought my faith was assured
>will he be mad?
>will he be disappointed?
>will he think my soul is endangered?

>be on long car ride through the middle of nowhere
>blurt it out in the most awkward way possible without so much as turning down the radio
>"So, I uh… don't really believe in God anymore"
>silence
>"Oh? Why not?"
>have a calm discussion of why not
>he argues against me, but doesn't seem very judgemental
>gives typical theist arguments, not very convincing for me (to be fair I was a lot more prepared for the conversation than he was)
>I fucking love this man, best Dad 10/10
>tell him I don't want to go to church anymore
>he says I should keep going because my grandmother wouldn't like that I'm an atheist
>Fuck that shit, this the whole reason I decided to come out in the first place

>next Sunday
>still debating whether to tell grandmother
>everyone getting ready for church
>lastchance.jpg
>go up to grandmother while she puts on her makeup
>"Granny, I don't want to go to church anymore."
>Yeah, I call her Granny, what of it?
>she is shocked
>"Why not? Are you a Muslim now?"
>lolwut
>"No, I'm an atheist."
>she tries to get me to change my mind
>doesn't even use philosophical arguments, just says shit like "I never knew anyone who was an atheist" and "Not many women would want to marry an atheist"
>Is this bitch serious?
>doesn't she understand that this isn't about what's socially accepted?
>Less respect than ever
>Regardless, they let me stay home
>feel good because I stood by what I believed in

>Dad disapproves of my decision to tell her, says I should have respected her enough to keep it a secret from her
>It's true that I don't respect her much, as stated above, but I tell him that I don't see lying to protect someone's feelings as a sign of respect, which is also true
>grandmother later says she still loves me anyway
>I honestly don't care anymore, her initial reaction solidified my opinion of her as not worthy of consideration
>I realize that sounds cold as fuck but it's the way I feel
>My dad and I don't talk about it much but it's sort of the elephant in the room whenever stuff about Christianity comes up
>I'm not trying to change his mind, I'm just glad he respects my belief, I think that's as much as you can ask for from a parent
>he doesn't seem that intent on changing mine either, although he did arrange a lunch with me and the pastor of our church, probably at the pastor's request
>he was a nice guy but I guess that's another story
On reflection there are a few things I would have done differently but I'm mostly happy with how things turned out.
The end.

>>1887
This.
Why aren't you in the glorious Nederlands?

>>1875
>he says I should keep going because my grandmother wouldn't like that I'm an atheist
>Dad disapproves of my decision to tell her, says I should have respected her enough to keep it a secret from her
I doubt he realized it, but the implication here is "your grandmother's feelings about you deserve more consideration than your honest self-expression."

>feel good because I stood by what I believed in
Good for you, anon.

>I honestly don't care anymore, her initial reaction solidified my opinion of her as not worthy of consideration
She's definitely not worthy of consideration on matters of critical thinking, but she's still a person. I'm sure she meant it when she said she loves you, she's just too deep into religion to understand that the coercive bullshit she was telling you to change your mind is a bad way to treat someone. She probably thought that getting you to believe was worth the cost of manipulation, because what's a few hurt feelings in this kid now against an eternity in hell?

Just some commentary for consideration.

>>1956
As a former Catholic, this is the best excuse ever if you want to avoid telling people you're an atheist.

>>1956

That first point is something I've dealt with. It may be true to my in as much as I can assess and how I really feel but the trueness I try to attain is a survival mechanism in life. If that survival mechanism over-rides another, to keep in good with my loved ones, then sometimes I put priority in keeping my true feelings to myself.

As much as our ego likes to tell them they may not be right about certain things, we have to remember we all seek this truth, I'd assume, to attain some sort of contentedness in life and it's easy to over-do things if we're not careful.

It was brutal at first, but they slowly got used to it, once the inital shock had faded.

To the point where, one day, my very religious mom casually started with "I know you don't believe in this kind of thing but…"

>>2455
>Is not
>it is too
should have kept going like that wont the argument like a true fedora bearer

>>2465
Christian here. How exactly has The Bible been proven wrong? You do know not all parts of The Bible are to be taken literally, right? Also, are you really trying to say science can explain supernatural stuff?

>>2540
Actually, as someone who hasn't completely studied up on christianity, no I did not know that all parts of the bible were not meant to be taken literally.

However:
>Also, are you really trying to say science can explain supernatural stuff?

It's only supernatural until it can be explained.

>>2540
>You do know not all parts of The Bible are to be taken literally, right?
Well I thought "believes in creationism and fundamentalism" implies that anon's father did take all parts of the Bible literally, many of which have been quite thoroughly proved wrong.

I didn't. I have a very specific group of people that I talk to and keep seperate from my religious family. Being military seperated by an entire continent makes it pretty easy.

They didn't give a shit

They were always asking when I was going to start "living for teh lord." When they assured me that you couldn't lose your salvation, I could think of one way. Of course the whole "you were never really saved" thing came up, then when it finally came out explicitly the first thing they said was "even Satan believes in God." Then they started a debate about evolution right after.

It was reassuring to know that I had made the right decision to stop believing, but also very disturbing how out of touch my own parents sounded. The whole fedora meme pisses me off. I was not euphoric, it was extremely depressing. I didn't gain some Neil deGrasse Tyson bullshit enlightenment, it gave me a basic grasp on reality.

I never needed to tell them. I live in what Wikipedia calls "perhaps the least religious region in the world" so it's kind of a given.

Reading some of these stories makes me realize how good I have it.

>>2971
>mom and dead
>talking to ghosts
2spooky

Not a religious houshold, they already assumed I don't believe in shit anyways becoz they didn't. We went to a mosque once when a family member died that is about it.

>have extremely religious parents, very active in church, considered church elders
>have extremely religious extended family
>have very close family ties even to extended family because Near Easterner
>their religious extremism is reinforced by our culture and centuries of persecution/genocide for being Christian in Muslim countries
>tfw raised in church and Christian school for 13 years
>at 14 I realize it was all bullshit and stop believing in god
>almost 20 now and still haven't told them
>still waiting to move out before I tell them
>tfw my entire extended family will hate me
>tfw they are my only friends

fug /atheist/

>>3033

What denomination? Coptic, Maronite, Greek or Armenian orthodox?

>>3056

My family is Presbyterian. But my culture is rooted in the Assyrian Church of the East.

>>1841
wait, are there atheists who actually stop believing in god because they get angry at him when he doesn't answer with miracles?

I mean, this isn't even disbelief the existence of deities. the problem of evil is supposed to point out to the absurdity of god as concept, not to acknowledge that god exists but he is evil.

>>1875
10/10

>it is not a moral duty to refrain expression for the sake of someone's feelings
I would be interested in marrying you if I were a woman, or maybe if I were interested in marriage and sexuality in the first place.

>>1893
tfw mexicant and catholic household but lucky enough to also happen to stand a chance moving to a well known progressive and nonreligious developed european country, because of ancestorship and processed dual nationality

>>3085
I think once a believer thinks enough to realize their God is evil, then they might decide they would rather not worship him. They then start questioning whether he truly exists. It's a good first step toward skepticism, which clears the path to mental liberation.

>>2540
>How exactly has The Bible been proven wrong?
Firstly, by a plethora of self-contradictions within the Bible itself, because you know, the Bible is a disparate collection of antiquity books written by different loonies over a period spanning centuries, mistranslations, etc.

Second, at specific claims, by science. Things like damnation turning out to be natural disease, heliocentrism deprecating earth-centrism in the Renaissance, biological evolution by genetic mutation and natural selection deprecating the literal and sanest (because it is the least complex) intepretation of the Genesis myth. To name a few of the most outstanding historical examples of very specific and strong allegedly-divine claims in the Bible that people have found deeply contradicting and problematic with scientific discovery.

>You do know not all parts of The Bible are to be taken literally, right?
yeah, as a kid, relaxation is what kept me believing in the religion my parents taught me in face of obvious imperfections going on with the salvation plan of a perfect god. depending on how rational and intelligent you are you try to rationalise challenged beliefs before discarding them. others simply do belief in scripture verbatim like anon's father and my mother, and a "rational believer" like you might be sinner in their eyes.

After inspection, the seemengly united religous group turns out to be a group of people with different beliefs and different, sometimes contradictory reasons for believing what they believe. And they all delude themselves into thinking their faith is reassured by the large amount of people that also call themselves "a christian" or "a whatever" at church service, at family and at their neighbourhoods. It's the magic of ambiguity! a horrendous world of personal and groupal truth-making pleasantly disguised by the tricks of language! A plethora of contradicting concepts and mental masturbations with a slight brushstroke of connection all under the label of "god", quite useful for all sorts of Jews, all sorts of Christians and all sorts of Muslims when defending against the argument of inconsistent revelations, yet invalid. The same goes for words like "soul", "spirituality", "supernatural", "religious experience". It's kind of making yourself look bigger and stronger against the atheists and the ones who outright reject all sorts of deities and mysticism. Yet Protestants, Catholics and Orthodox; Protestants and Mormons; Evangelical, Pentecostal, Anglicans, Calvinists, Baptists and Adventist; Unitarians and Trinitarians; Sunnis and Chias; Christians, Jews and Muslims; Hindus and Buddhists; Neopagans, Satanists and Ancient astronauts believers; they all hate and kill each other, and they will dedicate larger times and efforts talking about how wrong the other faiths are and whose beliefs are superstitious after debating atheism and agnosticism.

>are you really trying to say science can explain supernatural stuff
most of it wouldn't even need decades of research and meta-analysis to figure out that it's plain bullshit. In fact scientists do it sometimes and have done in the past, but people simply want to keep believing in magic.

The kind of mysteries scientists are actually more concerned about don't even show up in traditional supernatural belief because it is the result of highly technical and specialized discoveries and theories that your average churchgoer doesn't understand and don't immediatly care about. But then again, semi-informed people and educated believers informally try to push fringe theories and new mainstream magical thinking steming from advanced scientific misteries. See for instance Deepak Chopra and all the pseudo-scientific animism purpotedly coming from quantum physics (did I say physicists are on average more atheistic even than the average scientist?)

But maybe I should just have said that it is a fallacy as well as intellectually dishonest to sustain belief in the supernatural with the unknown. What follows from not having an explanation is the conclusion that you are ignorant, and that you should keep working to possibly, eventually find out a proper and honest explanation; not the conclusion that some specific ancient myth must be true, nor that people is now allowed to make up whatever shitty pseudo-explanation they want.

> how out of touch my own parents sounded. The whole fedora meme pisses me off. I was not euphoric, it was extremely depressing. I didn't gain some Neil deGrasse Tyson bullshit enlightenment, it gave me a basic grasp on reality.
yes, we all feel attached to our parents and also feel bad and care about them, because you know, love is reciprocal.

at least we have the consolation that we are possibly helping end a horrible and misguided milennial evil, while our parents feel their sky daddy is losing fidels and heaven doesn't seem to great when you think about your loving ones going to hell. That's something we can agree about with them :)

>>2947
how do you people from the perhaps least religious region in the world deal with Bavarians?

>>3087
>I would be interested in marrying you if I were a woman
Um, th-thanks I guess.

>>3094
What do you mean, deal with them?