Swaggy Gods behaving badly

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File: 1436733397064.jpg (297.43 KB, 1049x879, 1049:879, image.jpg)

Swaggy Gods behaving badly Anonymous 07/12/15 (Sun) 20:36:36 0725b5 No.9625

When Zeus first set eyes upon Aphrodite he tried to seduce her.

Could Bill Clinton be the modern manifestation of Zeus and Hillary is his bitchy wife? Did Bill Clinton try to seduce his daughter?

Anonymous 07/12/15 (Sun) 21:17:32 88d959 No.9633

It's not 4:20 yet, negro.

Anonymous 07/12/15 (Sun) 21:32:24 88d959 No.9636

>>9633

Also, forgot to sage this shit thread.

Anonymous 07/13/15 (Mon) 21:47:29 0725b5 No.9666

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No one has seen the strong resemblances? I must have been chosen as their prophet. Take note, the Greek Gods will return.

Anonymous 07/13/15 (Mon) 21:53:42 0725b5 No.9669

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Anonymous 07/13/15 (Mon) 21:55:23 0725b5 No.9670

File: 1436824524077.jpg (49.76 KB, 470x462, 235:231, image.jpg)

Look at the oily hair and oily smile. It is all the evidence you need.

Anonymous 07/14/15 (Tue) 02:11:48 1afd51 No.9676

File: 1436839908338.jpg (150.35 KB, 1280x1120, 8:7, lLxCoWM.jpg)

>>9670

Anonymous 07/14/15 (Tue) 07:56:55 6dc071 No.9680

File: 1436860615853.png (287.61 KB, 630x889, 90:127, 1431826415860.png)

Zeus was the god of gods, i.e. the godliest god. To the Greeks, the gods were exaggerations of man. Zeus was a particularly manly god. To the Greeks, manliness was about asserting dominance over others through battle, social power, or sexual power.

So we have Zeus, a god who will turn himself into liquid gold just so he can trickle through a prison grate and get some peasant tang.

Anonymous 07/27/15 (Mon) 08:22:59 0725b5 No.10034

File: 1437985379682.jpg (65.62 KB, 400x385, 80:77, image.jpg)

Eridu in Iraq is believed to be the oldest city known in the world. It had at least 4000 people living around a large temple dedicated to their patron God Enki (a.k.a. Ea).

Enki was the patron god of fresh water, salt water, crafts, creation, and the lord of semen who created the tigris and euphrates rivers by filling the beds with his own semen. He also was your prototypical daughter-fucking stud of a God. Pic related; here is more evidence all Gods are manifestations of a single leecherous bloke with oily hair.

He also created humans from clay to serve the Gods, except a rival god decided he had enough bodies servicing him, and tried to kill the new humans with a great flood. Enki told the humans to build a ship in a dream, possibly to protect his plans for a new harem.

Anonymous 07/27/15 (Mon) 21:11:22 dc3540 No.10064

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>>10034

>lord of semen

Anonymous 07/27/15 (Mon) 21:46:43 fb6c62 No.10065

>>10064

You'd be surprised how many creation myths begin with God cumming all of existence into being.

Anonymous 03/11/16 (Fri) 05:37:27 ed57d3 No.14544

File: 1457674647857.jpg (14.61 KB, 300x152, 75:38, solar boat.jpg)

Two male Egyptian Gods had a contest to see who could inseminate the other.

>Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river, so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt.

(Guess he didn't notice the big globs of semen on his lettuce.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Set_%28deity%29#Conflict_between_Horus_and_Set

Anonymous 03/11/16 (Fri) 07:59:51 ab6976 No.14545

Damn, the gods be crazy.

>>10034

Are there any more gods analog to the Abrahamic god?

Anonymous 03/15/16 (Tue) 02:39:47 e191f0 No.14591

>>14544

"Horus, what is this new salad dressing? It is delicious!"