/b/ - Random

For me, I can't make people instantly appear in front of me in lucid dreams, so what I do is I make myself believe that they are in another room, and go run from room to room until I find them. And when I say "go from room to room", I mean crashing into walls like the koolaid man, because who's got time for opening doors?

I don't normally get lucid dreams, but when I get one, I usually get multiple ones a day, about 2-3. And it's multiple ones because for some reason lucid dreams are easy to wake up from for me, so I go back to sleep and get another dream. One time I woke up because I felt a sweatdrop running on my face, and the dream started collapsing like in Inception.

One time I was making out with this 2D loli, and I groped her ass, and a few seconds later I woke up to find that I was actually grabbing my own throat from under the thin pillow my head was on.

>>5510922

>I groped her ass, and a few seconds later I woke up

if you get too excited during a lucid dream, you will wake up. this makes lucid dream sex difficult, but not impossible.

>>5510960

I woke up because I grabbed my own throat.

Literally the rest of that sentence.

wew

I want to wake up when I have a lucid dream.

>>5511438

why?

How do you make yourself realize you're dreaming?

>>5511497

You don't "make" yourself. You just realize it.

>>5511497

You don't "make" yourself. You just realize it.

>>5511663

what is reality check

>>5511833

Look at something with writing on it, then look away, remembering what it said. Then look back at it, it the writing has changed, and it wasn't suspost to, like a book or speed limit sign, then you are now aware you're dreaming, lucidly..

>>5511928

That part of your brain that subconsciously remembers what your surroundings say, is turned off while your sleeping. But not your conscious memory.

>>5510907

I can fly

>>5511663

Pics related (tried to find something close)

>>5511928

That's a good idea, I never did that.

I twirl my pen unconsciously, almost constantly. So what I started to do was twirl my fingers around as if I had a pen in them then think about something and look away for a minute then check back to see if a pen materialized. People sometimes notice it but it's not as obvious as some other strategies that people develop.

>>5511938

Oh yeah, I can do that sometimes.

Been a long time since I did it in a lucid dream.

>>5511999

One time my printer had a communication error, and the page I printed out was all random symbols. I looked at it for a sec looked away, and back at it a couple of times to be sure.

Lucid dreaming takes a lot of practice and understanding of your ego. I have learned to not to make out with girls in my dreams, or my mouth will fill up with some substance that takes a lot of work to remove.

I didn't brush as much as I was suspost to as a kid. So I had a lot of cavity's and fillings. My brain has made a negative connection with my dental health..

I have strange dreams about teeth falling out and shit.

I also was a small kid, one that got picked on. So if ever in a dream I get hit, the flight or fight response will kick in, and in my dream I'll become blind, or paralyzed..

It has taken me years to work out that part of lucid dreaming, that sometimes triggers sleep paralysis.

I still end up in sleep paralysis sometimes, if some noise almost wakes me up. It has taken me even more years to understand/keep calm during an episode, that feels like it last forever

>>5512223

Sleep paralysis isn't fun. I've gotten ok at staying calm but I was sort of hoping it would go away all together after a while. I guess not.

>>5512223

>>5512253

When I get sleep paralysis, I just try to gather the willpower to move myself and wake up.

It takes a lot, but it works every time.

I probably was able to do this because I didn't know they called it "paralysis".

>>5512253

>>5512270

There is a lot of info about sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming out there, I learned alot myself googling the two.

It is more likely to happen if you sleep on your back. So I avoid that at all costs. It sucks when there is someone else around making noise or talking. I tend to have the longest episodes when I think I'm having an conversation with someone, only to wake up to find out I'm not.

It really sux waking up after a long episode with vertigo and blood shot eyes.

I've woken up sweaty and my heart racing a few times too.

When I was young, I remember telling myself over and over b4 I went to sleep, 'if I want to wake up, I'll say wake up, and I'll wake up' I think some show on TV about dreams/night mares gave me the idea.

During sleep paralysis now adays I just concentrate on shaking a foot or something.

My ol lady wakes me up sometimes telling me I'm mumbling, which only happens when I'm stuck in sleep paralysis..

She's handy to have around lol

It's easy to get carried away while lucid dreaming. I remember forgetting I was lucid one time, and woke up frightened after killing my bff, I had a lot her throat while fucking her doggy.

It was normal to have a sex dream about her, sometimes lucid, but this time, for what I can remember, cutting her with a knife was fine, as it was mostly superficial and not deep enough to bleed out.

But it all the sudden wasn't cool when I almost chopped her head off.

Bad feels man.

>>5512343

I think this dream had alot to do with being super protective of her, and at the same time indulging in my fantasy's with her. As were just friends, and would never bang.

She's more like a sister then a girl that I would ever bang, we knew each other for the last 15 years.

Also she don't fuck guys to begin with lol

>>5512343

The dreams I hate the most are the ones where I'm angry.

I'm calm and controlled IRL. Having a dream where I beat up someone or kill them is a nightmare for me.

>>5512387

Dreams happen during REM sleep. When the body is at its most weakest, and vulnerable state. It's the minds way of filing long term memory's, and in the process dealing with out fears.

The only way to overcome such fears is to address them head on, fearlessly almost.

It's completely normal to be afraid of hurting someone, and is the unconscious minds way of dealing with the thoughts of doing so..

>>5512512

Whats her moms name?

>>5512529

Catherine

>>5512539

how old is she?

>>5512512

>You can create your own adventures, fly through the sky, travel the stars

I just wanna fuck senpai like a homo. Nothing more.

>>5512544

30

>>5512861

Reality checks, I suppose.

I was never able to do it at will nor consistently; I have never done reality checks.

>>5512875

Anyone know of any reality checks that work well?

>>5512880

Don't have any personal experience, but you can always Google.

The people of Dubai don't watch the Flintstones, but the people of Abu Dhabi do.

>>5512931

A perfect example of how English fucks up a foreign name for the sake of a joke.

The "Dh" is more like "the"

>>5512861

Just keep thinking about. Before you go to sleep and after you wake up. It can be scary at first. It feels so real, and you're scared you're actually fucking up real people. I've done simple shit like going out for a smoke or drinking water out the tap, that seemed super fucking real, but turns out wasn't. Eventually you'll learn the checks and cues to figure out if you're really awake or just lucid.

>>5512942

>implying anyone gives a shit about a primitive language spoken by dune coons

>>5512955

It's the language your son will be speaking, Cletus.

Better know how to beg for not having your ass raped.

>>5512973

They better get their shit together and gain more advanced brains really quick, then.

bumpan

>>5513256

Any questions, anon?

>>5513269

no just bumpan

bump

>>5510907

its very infrequent to even have a lucid dream

but when i do i usually fly, just because i can - the laws of gravity dont work anymore and i can go and do whatever i want

>>5513683

Why fly? Why not fuck your dream girl?

>>5513755

im old, and sexual gratification is not what it used to be. i remeber being a teenager and wanting nothing more than to stick my dick in any warm hole. i barely think about it now.

>>5513759

What about affection? Intimacy?

>>5513761

thats what im looking for now, intimacy. its not separate from sex but it helps

>>5513769

So why not try to lucid dream about that?

>>5513776

i just dont get frisky much any more, my thoughts tend toward the freedom that flight affords

>>5513780

Not even frisky. I mean just someone you could cuddle up next to and feel the warmth of their body as they press against you because you make them feel safe. Someone to lean on and feel calm.

>>5513787

i know what you mean. i guess i spend enough time in my waking hours on that, and when i do have the gift of a lucid dream i would rather do other things

>>5513790

>i spend enough time in my waking hours on that

Lucky bastard.

>>5513815

not really. im single now and lonely. i spend too much time thinking about that 20 year old cutie who delivers my groceries. i miss the feel of cuddling with a buxom lass

Reminder to not use the bathroom while lucid dreaming lol

>>5512880

People posted multiple in the thread before this reply. If you can't be buggered to read a thread then I doubt you'll stick with the reality checks enough for it to work.

>>5514152

i dont understand what this means. a lucid dream is where you know you're dreaming. what the fuck purpose would reality inserting itself accomplsh?

>>5514203

I'm not sure I understand the question.

You get in the habit of doing a reality check all the time when you're awake so it becomes habitual. Eventually you'll do it when your dreaming but you'll find that it's not real life. From there you'll realize you're dreaming and gain the ability to do whatever you want. Doing a reality checks allows a lot of people to gain lucidity when they otherwise couldn't you don't need to do a reality check when you already know you're dreaming.

>>5514210

so what you're calling a "reality check" is just a way to know if you are actually dreaming?

>>5514253

Yes.

>>5514258

well for me it's the night sky

i see a star out of place and i know its not real

>>5514269

That's kind of neat, but I don't imagine it's something that you see in every dream.

I heard that feels amazing to touch sand while you are lucid dreaming.

>>5514343

Depends on you.

Some times the dreams are so vivid and detailed.

so-gay

My lucid dreams are fucking bullshit. They start off like most of my other dreams:

>Something unremarkable is happening, a conversation, whatever

>I might be meeting someone I don't know or just talking, sometimes doing manual labor

>Something terrible starts to happen and I'm either facing imminent death, forced into action to keep at least one other person from dying, or the shittiest of all, both at once.

Now I know, I know, "hurr durr faggot hero complex", but no, fuck you. I don't ever have dreams where I save the day and an attractive woman rubs her body over me while I bathe in champagne and accept the key to the city. No, I get just unreasonable fucking bullshit. The building's collapsing and two coworkers are trapped while the others either bolted or are being useless fucking screaming, crying pieces of shit. They'll even fucking cling to me for no goddamn reason while I'm trying to move, like just fucking grab my leg with debris falling while I'm trying to get to someone who's crushed to death. Plus, that whole "your body is lead" thing when you try to actually move it past the sleep paralysis and that sensory feedback gets into your dream.

So usually I just fuck my way through the dream normally and wake up exhausted and ill-rested, but sometimes it fails, or it starts to fail, and then I get pissed off to where I basically slam my fist down on the projector table and rewind to try again, or start all over.

If this happens more than once or twice, my subconscious will actually shake my conscious mind more or less awake and say "See this shit? You see this bullshit?"

Of course there's no clear-cut disconnect between conscious and subconscious, so it's sort of like after fumbling around trying super hard, I'm suddenly aware that I'm actively engineering events. Of course the part of my brain that sets up the dream, I don't know if it's unconscious or what, still fucks with me. I try to change something, it resists. I force it two or three times until it actually shows up, something else breaks. Sometimes random bullshit, sometimes some really nasty, diabolical, complicated chain reaction from what I changed, like there's some portion of my higher intelligence working against me that I can't see and have no awareness of during this state, even though my whole mind top to bottom seems bent on unfucking things.

Sometimes it gets so frustrating I wake up in the middle and finish the "plot" while awake, just out of spite, before getting up. Usually, though, I fuck around and struggle and bullshit my way out of it. Luckily, I can't feel pain in my dreams, but I can still feel things like difficulty moving, difficulty breathing, exhaustion, panic, so on.

The few times a decent dream about a woman turned lucid, it would always be after she started trying to kill me for some really bullshit reason. Well, and one time she was trying to kill my parents (fuck off Freudfags).

So, what's the magical breathing exercise to never have a lucid dream again?

>>5517364

AND THE WORST PART

Even if the dream continues after the problem is solved, which is almost never, someone finds some way to blame me or say hurr durr why didn't I just, hurr wait for the firemen to arrive hours after the person would have been dead, the most retarded bullshit imaginable. It wouldn't be so bad if my sleep paralysis wasn't translating into the dream. I keep waking up with bloody knuckles every now and then, or skin scraped off a toe from kicking a wall, or a fucked up toenail.

>>5517372

You've had some shitty experiences, haven't you? Pressure cooker childhood or immense, unmeetable demands before full adulthood. Long periods where you were unsafe and shit could kick off any minute and you needed to be prepared to deal with it.

I'm thinking of dissociation x paranoia x phobia issues.

>>5517388

Actually decent guesses, so I'll give you an in-depth response.

>>5517407

k anon. take your time

>>5517388

I was homeschooled, and the only thing higher than the standards my parents had for me are my standards for myself.

I can't express what an immense disappointment it was when I finally realized in my early teens — after years of assuming good faith, trying not to be paranoid, and just thinking I was "missing something" about social interaction because of my relatively cloistered upbringing — that the people around me were actually not privy to any exclusive knowledge, they were just bullshitting pathetically and they wanted to live their entire lives bullshitting pathetically as not just a form of social interaction but a way of life. Just making themselves seem artificially stupid to fake common ground. You know, I was an optimist, I was honest. The whole thing about social awkwardness…I wasn't unusually awkward. I didn't have to make a bigger adjustment. All of the bullshit about projecting confidence really was just bullshit. It wasn't that anyone had reason to be confident, they were just…delusional. Just acting. It seemed so obvious to me that it was stupid, I couldn't assume good faith any more…I couldn't assume it was my problem psychologically, because I could plainly see a world of morons bullshitting and overcomplicating the most basic things for no good reason, just because they were insecure.

Other than that, growing up I had fairly significant memory problems. As I later realized, they were compounded by my sisters fucking with me…for a prolonged period of years at a time. I mean, it was my mom bringing us up and educating us, and she displayed pretty consistent favoritism towards them in the form of leniency or ignoring rules she set if they were the ones breaking them, whereas I would get the long moralistic lecture. I was always good-natured, and they would always give her attitude because she let them off, so the discrepancy compounded. We were all "smart", that is we all far outperformed your normal kid in school, because more was expected of us, there were less distractions, and to be honest classrooms are sort of a shitty waste of time when it comes to things you can learn by reading a textbook you're told to read anyways, and maybe asking some questions if you get stuck. We were all different ages, but that didn't stop both of my sisters from being dramatically insecure because I might do a little better, relative to grades, in a given subject. It's not like I went around bragging or anything. I was talkative, competitive sometimes, but a very gentle kid - an introvert of habit.

Anyways, that tl;dr is significant because it seems to be the implied pretext under which they would fuck with me. Now, I was a smart kid as mentioned despite the memory problems - so I would develop these complicated theories about how they were fucking with me. At the time I dismissed them as just my natural paranoia…now, from a combination of remembering things I couldn't remember at the same time as a kid and my sisters just saying things completely offhand "haha remember when we used to hide your toys and then I'd pretend to find them", I realize I was almost completely right. As a little kid. That's how smart I was for my age…I even got them on tape fucking with me just by being clever one time, but my mom was "too tired to deal with it", despite never being too tired to fuck with me over any picky little thing like I'd just crucified Jesus. She'd scoff and give me nothing but heavy sarcasm as if I should be ashamed of myself the few times I ever dared say she wasn't being fair or was setting double standards. So, you know, "it just happened this once, I'm being paranoid". My sister always gives me this look when she brings it up too, like "what are you still mad we took your toys". Fuck the toys, I stymied my own intellectual development out of love for them, to assume good faith, to put the best foot forward and get along with people…to be fair. All I ever wanted was to be honest and have an accurate understanding of myself and the world around me, and because of their stupid bullshit, spite, and insecurities I wasted half of my most formative years panicking and hating myself because I thought I was always losing things or forgetting where I put them, and my parents would always get exasperated and yell at me for constantly losing everything from my wallet to whatever else - because they were fucking with me.

As for phobias, I used to be scared of heights and bees but I sort of lost the ability to fear anything a while ago. I mean, as a kid I was horrified and sad knowing that I would die and everyone else would die and be forgotten. I never got how people can "just never think about death" until they hit middle age. Like, how dumb do you have to be? Then again, I was also plagued with the recurring desire to kill myself and/or my family, not really related to things being good or bad in my life, just at night and at odd times.

>>5517503

So, that was probably a hormonal thing, as it wasn't tied to any events. It's not like I wanted to kill my family or felt compelled to, it was just this constant instinct, and I was such a cute little gentle kid it's almost funny to remember me lying in bed at night thinking about my favorite toys and the games I'd like to make (I was barely allowed to play any games, so my reference base was limited), and what food I'd like to eat, and oh man, I can't go stabbing mom and dad, that would be terrible, I should just go to sleep…like I say, pretty clearly a hormonal problem.

Oh, yeah, I had a lot of health problems as a kid, not all of them went away, including other weird hormonal stuff that affected me physiologically, made me small and weak until I started getting the right treatment. So, I was a pain in the ass kid to have. I mean, last post I complained about my mom, she really just has no sense of fairness, I swear, and mine was so highly developed so young, it wasn't really an ideal thing. I learned to think impartially by the time most kids are learning to be meaningfully self-aware. Well, I think I did, my memory actually is sort of bad so sequence of events gets messed up. But anyways, my parents loved all of us very much, and really tried their best to make sure we were taken care of, well educated, so on. They're still the only people I feel any sense of obligation to. They weren't bad parents by any means, just annoying and full of weird ideas about what they thought they had to do as parents.

I never had any particularly violent or unsafe stuff happen to me. Got a few minor injuries, got bullied, chased, pushed around some by other homeschooled kids (probably a lot less than your average public school kid would be), read a lot, got in a few dangerous situations, was completely buried under undeserved guilt because my mom just really didn't know what she was doing with all of her contradictory moralistic lectures about things, so on, so on. I eventually realized how stupid it all was and now I can't feel guilt anymore, but I don't think I'm a sociopath. I mean, I care more about the wellbeing of other people than most people seem to genuinely care about anyone else, let alone me.

As for dissasociative, I only ever had one disassociative experience. FBI don't arrest me you retards, I'm behind a VPN and not even a pedophile. When I was first coming to /b/, the other one, maybe around 2006? Anyways, I was in my younger teens, new to unrestricted internet and still on dialup, was browsing around, saw some gore and stuff, kept leaving, kept coming back, kept arguing with retards and marvelling at their stupidity*, and then I see some CP. Holy shit, that's a kid. I was a kid just a few years ago, what the fuck is this. So I was computer illiterate at the time and my immediate reaction was close browser reopen browser clear data restart computer hide under desk prepare angus delete fucking everything…then it slowly occurred to me that at least dozens of people saw the same thing and my intuition informed me that they would not be notified or arrested or marked down. I had already heard about cp and thought it was super rare or just a joke. It was actually something people would do, it had already happened, the person who did it would not be caught, the person who posted it was not the person who did it and also would not be caught. Chances were good she was already dead, died in agony, no one cared or helped her, and no one would ever know the truth behind it.

So after that I went back to /b/, opened the thread again…it's not like they were consistently deleted, I didn't know it at the time but moot and W.T. and the rest were too busy being edgelords and banning people for calling them faggots and circlejerking on IRC about how they were extreme for having cp on the site and the FBI couldn't get them. I opened the image and stared at it for at least a minute, looking at the pixels that made up a low-res representation of her eyes. All of the things a normal person would instinctively feel…the urge to hunt down and kill whoever was responsible…were undoubtedly amplified with my pre-existing hormonal tendency towards homicidal thoughts. Still, my rage quieted quickly, and an extremely quiet, cold resentment took its place. After that, I went to bed early. Slept fine. I woke up detached from myself. I walked around, participated in and even initiated conversations, gave Duchenne smiles, sassed people back for insulting me, talked about things I knew about and asked about things I didn't, read books…so on. Maybe slightly more outgoing than usual, but perfectly present.

*though not much, normalfags are also really stupid; imagine seeing early 00s culture as someone who read the classics growing up, didn't ever go online for anything, only watched parent-approved movies, rarely saw TV other than the news…so on…

>>5517503

Are you me? My story is very similar. Constantly fucked with, the next fucking is a second away, gotta know how get out of it, so plan strategise be alert. Hear footsteps? Be alert! Something happened somewhere that could possibly get back to you? Be alert! Remember every fucking little thing that happened and how it might possibly fuck you or be construed incorrectly. You're always wrong. And on and on.

I was considered mature, intelligent, well-tempered during childhood. Ultimately I was fucked. No one can take that much pressure and threat that long. I ended up in the adult world a fucking wreck and socially retarded. Adults appreciate quiet obedient kids. Teachers appreciate bright, interested, committed kids. They hate the same kind of adult. My problem is I obeyed too much. Tried for peace too much. I thought people cared as adults. Weird shit, since I knew my parents were emotionally abusive.

But dissociation usually occurs in micro slips. Lapses of conscious. Zoning out for a second. A lack of coherence in certain simple things like basic conversation.

>>5517590

It was amazing. I was watching a perfect, complete, witty, attentive, engaged self as an outside observer. All of my genuine sentiments combined with bits of social mask I had loathingly started to wear to save time, functioning perfectly, detached from sense of self. I wasn't even so angry, just cold, tired. It really was like seeing through a tunnel, everything sounded muffled and distant, but it didn't matter because by the time I started trying to figure out what I'd heard, my mouth was already halfway through a perfect, well-formed reply. I even stuttered less than usual. My brain was working at 100% without me, not just social rites, but taking in new knowledge, forming genuine human connections. All "by itself". After about a day and a half I put the pieces together and realized it was a dissasociative experience, and it wasn't tough to figure out why because it had been on my "real" mind ever since. I've never had to wonder if I was a pedophile, nor have I ever conflated ephebephilia with pedophilia. It all became very clear very quickly. So, after about a week or so I woke up one morning feeling connected to the things I said and did, having to "consciously" decide on them again.

Other than that, I started hearing voices now and then as a kid and that really ramped up at puberty. But they were either voices of people I knew or the voice I had when thinking to myself. So when various voices sprung up at puberty, I intuitively understood they represented aspects of my psyche…me as a kid, me as an adult, me as an adolescent, me as a seeker of knowledge, me as a "here and now sense of reality"..so on. I actually set them debating against each other, pondered which one was the "realest" me, had them converse about philosophy and also negotiate and argue about my future…the kid was concerned about what would survive, in memory, in outlook, in mode of expression. Partly because when I was a kid I would sometimes get extremely depressed about mortality but also data loss. I'd barely used a computer and I was wishing somehow the information behind the movement of each dust mote could somehow be preserved, backed up, replayed at will. I didn't want even the smallest, most insignificant, most negligent things to be lost or unobserved…especially those things, really.

But I don't think any of that was disassociative, just that I was more aware of adolescence than most people are.

Anyways, r u a science? Tell me how to get rid of my dreams of people being the useless feeble cunts they already are when I'm awake. I've been able to pull together original symphonies in my head since I was a little kid, you know just take parts of music I heard and change them to my tastes and then mix and match. I'd love to do that all night while I'm asleep, I just don't know how.

>>5511497

there are things in your dream that should behave a certain way if it were reality

clocks is a common example. if the clock on the wall does not tell time properly, just a nonsense string of numbers- then you can ask yourself in the dream 'if this were not a dream, wouldn't that clock look normal?'

and then you start lucid dreaming.

but it doesn't have to be clocks- it has to do with your brains inability to perform certain tasks- like keeping accurate time. also written words in dreams are often scrambled and unintelligible. if you can find something in your dream that can be read and you try to read it but it's all just jibberish- then you can realize that it's a dream

you don't need queues to realize a lucid dream- they just help confirm that feeling that things are just a little bit more weird than they should be

last week i dreamed during a nap, that my ladyfriend was a string of numbers or letters or something and that i needed to unlock her with the appropriate password

i tried a few passwords and then one seemed to stick and i woke up and went to hang out with her in the break room.

i had been missing her and i dreamed about her even though she was just a string of digits (i think she may have been a list or a tuple to be precise) i have been coding too much.

>>5517695

queues = cues

>>5517622

>Remember every fucking little thing that happened and how it might possibly fuck you or be construed incorrectly. You're always wrong. And on and on.

Actually this, yes. When I say my memory was bad, a lot of that really was being fucked with by my sisters…older one moves the thing, younger darling one gets credit for "finding". My memory for facts and figures was great, just not places, faces, etc…and some of that was them fucking with me. So I'd learn to remember each specific slight or anything they or my mother said, so if I could think clearly enough in the midst of being guilted, I could bring it up and show them they were wrong. I couldn't construct logical sequences well until puberty, so I had to rely on simple, obvious callbacks to direct hypocrisy…which were available in spades. Of course, everyone just gets mad if you mention them.

I'm not actually socially retarded. When I said it's all bullshit socially I wasn't just being bitter. It really is. I think so little of other people now that I'm almost incapable of being truly self-conscious apart from public speaking (which is common as herpes). I can effortlessly seem cocky or reasonable, I can appear to be well-read because I am, I can assume various slang or styles of speech as I observe them…basically, I could be the most manipulative piece of shit in history. My language skills were always my strongest point.

I just don't care. Don't worry, you're missing nothing. The 100th time a girl smiles or laughs at something clever you say, you'll get tired of it. You'll realize people are actually shittier than you, in general. After the 100th time you compare your very worst to someone's very best in order to think the best of them, you'll realize they're never going to be worth your good intentions.

After that, for me at least, everything's easy. I mean, I was already naturally outgoing as a kid and then I learned introversion through habit, so maybe it's different for me. I got over social awkwardness pretty quickly overall, but in the process I figured it out. Everyone goes on and on about autists and how they can't socialize because they think of everything like math, but most of the autists I've seen are bad at math too. The social equation is basically if in doubt, lie more, or get drunk enough to be so stupid you believe whatever dumb shit you say.

It became so simple, I just didn't want it. I always looked "sharp", too, people would say. I never liked looking in mirrors, but I did look like your model human when I did, very normal, which I guess means good-looking to a lot of people. But why the fuck would I want to be le handsome popular player surrounded by retards when I could be an unkempt shut-in and occasionally read something worth thinking about online?

>My problem is I obeyed too much.

Well, same. Actually, my problem is I'm surrounded by fucking retards who can only see the world and its possibilities through this moronic sub-dom paradigm. Leave it in the bedroom you massive faggots. From world leaders dick-waving to show how strong and assertive they are to black girls mmm-mmming like retards, it's all the same shit. I wouldn't obey unthinkingly or because I loved to obey, or even because I liked praise (though sure, it was nice back when I thought it meant something and wasn't just a tool) - I just wanted two things: to make things better, and to be left alone. So I trusted people older and more experienced than me because they said to and clearly knew about things I didn't, and I had no real reason not to.

>Lapses of conscious. Zoning out for a second.

I always did like to daydream, but I had intense concentration. It's slipped some lately because I have no particularly compelling reasons left to live or try anything, but I still have it if I ever find motivation.

>A lack of coherence in certain simple things like basic conversation.

Like I said before, I'm great with language, although I sometimes "jump suddenly" because I can't imagine anyone else not understanding the purpose of the very straightforward topic transition. Used to happen because I was a kid and didn't know how dumb people were, now happens because I simply do not care enough to explain extra shit unless someone explicitly asks me to. I also routinely boil things down into super simple words for humor but also because I genuinely can't be sure I'll be understood otherwise. Or, when I don't know how familiar someone is with an idea or opinion, I'll give a brief statement of the entire argument for it and then just follow it with "and all that stuff" to make sure they know the mindset or group I'm referring to.

>>5517736

I want to be conventionally successful and gradually convince my parents that I'm "finding myself" and being less and less of a malcontent, but I really do lack motivation. Wanting to pay them back is just not enough reason to accomplish anything. I try, though. Still fucking around with a needlessly difficult degree. Wouldn't be bad if I weren't tired all day every day and my professors weren't completely out of touch with both the industry they're supposed to be training us for and how human beings learn things. I feel bad, I'm failing classes and having to make the excuse that "I'm really not that smart", and faking being crestfallen, but really I just don't want to worry anyone by saying that I'm more than capable of acing the classes skill-wise, I'm just psychologically crippled and still hoping I wake up in a world full of useful, interesting people who I'd want to measure up to.

The problem is, I could "be anything I want", but it would be meaningless because I'm surrounded by morons. Also, where are the good women? Anyone who approaches the amount of stuff I've read while having a vagina either marries someone they've known all their life in their late teens or goes completely psycho. Some of these SJWs weren't always complete retards, they just chose to act like it to flatter themselves. Then the rest of the educated ones want to be swept off their feet by a Shakespeare-spouting real actual vampire from the 1800s and are too lost in their fantasies to be attractive to me. Even now that I've broken all of my "good" habits of dress, appearance, etc that my mom drilled into me, gotten fat from not caring, "free love" dictates that if I interact with people socially for too long at a spell, eventually some girl or other will flirt with me or try to get me to have sex with her. Who cares?

Everyone loves to hate love, like yeah, I'm such a fedora tipper for wondering why no one else is comfortable being a human being. Oh no, sex has nothing to do with emotional bonding, nothing at all, how could I believe in such fairytale crap, the REAL world is all about cheap alcohol and self-loathing…because that's just the way it is. Fuck that and fuck all of these weak-minded idiots that espouse that way of life. Like, if I take a shit, roll around in it, and then run up to someone planting flowers and yell at them that life is all about shit and their flowers are an illusion, I'm not giving them "real talk", I'm just being a flailing faggot.

I don't think "well-adjusted people" are happy either, no matter how many opiates they choke down. I think they're miserable cowards.

>>5517736

Been there. Not so narcissistic-thinking now, though. Used to be. I'm getting older.

>>5517770

I'm a girl btw. Wanna smash?

>>5517773

Can you actually tell me what was narcissistic about my post, or have you just been beaten down into believing self-awareness = evil?

I spent most of my life thinking I was innately worse than other people; I've just realized that the extra effort I always put in made me better than people who don't really ever bother trying much. I don't think that's an unreasonable assessment when they routinely struggle to grok explanations of things I find pretty simple.

>>5517780

But I'm also a qt girl anon and isn't that forbidden love?

I mean we're all girls here right.

>>5517780

But yes, I have actually had women pretty much just approach me at random and be like "hey you busy, wanna fuck?"

I mean, I guess I appreciate the sentiment when they ask, but no, I don't really want to bump uglies with someone I don't know. I'm not judging them for being unattached, I just don't see the appeal of fucking someone you don't love. Why bother? There's nothing there, no passion.

>>5517792

I recognise that most people in my life aren't very bright. I just dropped some of my narcissistic bents and will never come out and gloat of it.

Almost all girls are kinda bi for the right setting. I need one every now and then. We understand, and it happens. Don't be mad.

So many, and they've been so unique and memorable and bizarre that I won't even bother picking a story.

All I'll say is that everyone should experience it (it came along with the typical techniques and watching lots of movies and documentaries about/related to it for me), and try going to sleep in the middle of the day with the sole intent of having a lucid dream.

Sleeping on uppers and downers helps. When I drink too much and am in rebound thus amped, I lucid dream really well, too.

>>5517807

>gloat

I'm on an anonymous imageboard. I never brag. I wasn't even bragging here. I was just expressing my misery. I don't want to be recognized as "smart"; I want people to be smarter than me so I can have something worth aspiring to.

I'm not actually a woman. I just assumed you were being sarcastic.

I feel the topic has been diverged from, and it's actually something worth discussing despite being generally overposted on /b/.

How do I have relaxing dreams when I fall asleep, instead of bullshit "oh no everything's falling apart and we're all fucking useless help us" dreams?

Failing that, what are your dreams, lucid or not?

>>5517736

Are you me?

There's not a lot of people in the world who are on the same page as you, but there's a few still. You'll live half a million lived at least before you end up being conscious, but I've been lucky enough to meet two others (we're nearly militant about our philosophies); the latest one I "converted" from being mentally chained to being aware of his own essence and absurdity in a way that unites a tragically small minority of people, through common ideas and values (that we've been lucky enough to understand as objectively correct through extraordinary, criminal means) that can appear political, philosophical or just alien. I'm sure you have a certain set of values, unless you're really just a narcissist.

My point is that you should seek out like-minded people actively, because the rewards are tremendous. There's no apparent limit to what a large enough group of us can achieve. I'd probably like to chat with you on Skype, maybe. Maybe not. Describe to me your life situation plox.

>>5517869

So let me get this straight:

"Either join my mystic edgy reincarnation cult which seemingly borrows pathos from solipsism, or you're really just a narcissist, when we thought you had such special snowflake potential", etc, etc…

Are you trying to recruit me for some "overthrow the oppressors, wake the sheep" style thing, am I being initiated into the Masons, or are you just hoping to lure in a vulnerable trusting young soul so you can cut me up in your basement?

The whole

>I'm sure you will agree with me or pretend to or else you're a narcissist

thing really raises some pretty serious red flags about whatever your intentionally vague thing is, and I'm not really into drug-induced flights of fancy or secret societies, so if you do have some sort of serious insight or suggestion, I'm sure you won't mind stating it plainly, right?

Why Skype, specifically, anyways? Is my voice or face important to you?

>>5517896

Dude, get off your own dick. You talk like you're 16-20 and severely unsocialised.

>>5517896

You're reading me wrong. I have no intention. I also don't have a cult. I don't preach about supernatural stuff. I don't really preach at all. I've had my specific experiences and states of being in my life, and in return, I can quickly acquire any skill I need as long as I remember what I've learned. Through them, I've taught myself how to play several musical instruments, programming, databases, web design, graphic design, numerous lesser skills such as welding, carpentry, starting fires from friction, fighting, being able to simulate any personality in social situations, become the center of positive attention if I so choose, manipulating people to practically speaking be my soldiers. At this point, it's up to you to decide if you know exactly what I'm talking about or not. I'm just curious and optimistic. I don't really give a shit. And by Skyping I meant typing texts, if that's preferable to you. But I think I'm fine for now. I've been removing my identity from the internet, you know, so it sucks to let optimism endanger it.

How about Wickr?

>>5517975

>Wickr

wut

>>5518009

Encrypted chat. Google it.

>>5517937

>severely unsocialised

Say that out loud to yourself, seriously. Does it not sound like you're gargling dicks?

You seriously just typed "severely unsocialised" as an attempt at an insult, on 8chan no less. No amount of CURRENT YEAR makes that not sound stupid.

>>5517975

I believe you, and your interests and experiences sound similar to mine, but I'm unwilling to manipulate people. To that point, if you're smarter than me you may end up manipulating me; I am certainly not immune to any and all external influences. It's probably better if we both just continue to browse /b/ and discuss things. I don't think I'm part of any special demographic as such, I just have an unusual collection of experiences and life decisions.

I've never actually heard of Wickr though, what is it?

>>5518019

You're probably right. It's a very specific demographic, and it takes time to know for sure if you're in it or not. By what I read from your post, you're in the boat we all were a few years ago. So I just wanted to investigate, because that sure doesn't happen very often in a lifetime.

>>5518038

And by the way:

The people I "manipulate" into being "my soldiers," I "manipulate" because I believe what I tell them strongly, and I'm hoping for them to become my equals, of which I have two at this moment, and a bunch of people who are trying hard to be it without really being at all the same. There's no malice or intent to use my "followers" as tools. If there was a billion of us at war with the rest of the world, I'd be in the middle of the action to die with them. Love and lovely hate all around.

>>5518038

I don't know, whenever I talk about my psychological development there's a high chance someone will come along and tell me they understand or want to talk or they're further along than I am. Maybe my experiences are just more common and commiserable than I think. In any case, my reticence isn't arbitrary…this has to be the fifth or sixth time I've had someone show up saying they were further along than me in…something, and it always seems to be something vague that they can't put into words or elaborate on, which makes me suspicious they're either trying to get something out of me or just sort of gave up but want to say they reached some special understanding. You can understand my skepticism, I imagine.

>Realize I'm in a dream

>Get excited

>Wake up

Every time

Actual lucidity is demanding enough when conscious, dreams are bullshit

>>5518067

See, that just makes it sound like either a cult or something you're making up again.

>>5518019

No, it doesn't sound like gargling dicks. It sounds like learning that most people are kinda retarded but they still have feelings and have some value. Your zero empathy edgelord shit makes you sound like like some Khan/Strogg nigger. Biology is imperfect. But at least whites aren't niggers or yellow ants.

>>5518070

Is your name some faggy version of Eric Blue and you've been a nigger bitch's bitch for years?

>>5518070

If you've been told so several times, I guess it's that almost unmistakeable impression you give. This is not about being "farther along," this is a 'yes' or 'no' question. You're either fanatical/crazy/dedicated and intelligent enough to pursue it, or you're not. "It" being a way to be, so to speak, just to make it seem less vague. The reason this seems vague is because it deals with concepts that cannot be communicated through language. Trying would be as hard as describing the sensation of the color red to a blind person.

If you have it in you, you have it in you, and then you'll simply have to be interested enough to ask the right questions to your reality and act accordingly. Wish I could be more specific, but I'm afraid it's not very simple, like a recipe or something. And I'm using a phone right now. Typing pretty slowly.

>>5518118

Your reading comprehension is lacking.

I'm not your strawman.

>>5518124

I avoid relationships like the plague and am not a submissive.

>>5518132

>concepts that cannot be communicated through language

But English is capable of dealing with a wide variety of abstracts.

>the right questions to your reality

>your reality

I knew I smelled solipsist influence. Something about the way your posts don't actually describe anything despite using a lot of words.

It was fun being led along, but I think we've reached the impasse that comes of the gulf between mysticism and observation.

>>5518088

The differences between us and a cult are many:

>we don't perform rituals

>we do not worship any entity

>we do not propose theories in need of evidence

>we can confirm everything we believe in at any time through spooky means. Not paranormal. Not supernatural. Not a ritual. Just the power of your own mind.

>we do not propose laws for one another

>we do not use one another for financial gains

>we are not a religion

Think of it more like this: you're one of the last Neanderthals in the world. Finally you meet another Neanderthal. Do you ignore it and pretend like the Homo Sapiens are your friends, or do you try, futile as it may be, to unite your kind and seek it out where ever you go? I pick the second one. Our kind is dying, anon.

>>5518080

Don't get too excited; lucid dreams are easy to get out of. Anything touches you and you're instantly awake.

When I feel I'm going to wake up from a lucid dream (from nothing), I try to stay calm and focused.

The dream will get fucked up, like take you to other places and change your surroundings, but at least you wouldn't have stopped lucid dreaming.

>>5518147

You are so fucking plastic it's not even funny. It's pathetic. And trite and immature.

Enjoy your psychological island of superiority.

>>5518157

You should be happy to know that 70% of neander genes worldwide are found in jews. Congratulations. You fit right in, you self-righteous, ridiculous piece of shit.

>>5518147

Solipsism is on the other side of the spectrum philosophy-wise. We are not solipsists. But the fact that you are "I" is as undeniable as the fact that I am "I."

>>5518175

You missed the point. Your statement is inaccurate, but the sentiment is golden. Yes, there are obvious similarities between us and the top jews, but there's a fundamental difference. We're the good side, and the bad side's winning by a landslide.

/pol/ please leave

This is a thread about lucid dreams.

>>5518189

>we'll fuck over others because obviously we're better

>I'm totally not a jew, I just think and act like one

>>5518196

>implying /pol/ is half as intelligent as this pretentious conversation.

>>5510907

I woke up topless and I was the only person in my room.

>>5518189

Cont.

Of course, "good" and "bad" are imaginary ideas of ours, but we like to play along. Playing along is all we have. Therefore, I feel empathy and acknowledge all those other emotions and concepts I have to relate to on a daily basis in order to not get imprisoned, or at the very least, in order to not get noticed by people I don't want to know I exist for practical reasons.

>>5518244

In the dream?

>>5518266

Nope in IRL

>>5518270

>in in real life

Anyways, how is waking up related to the lucid dream itself?

>>5518266

I got pissed afterwards. It felt like someone came into my room and took my undershirt off…

>>5518278

forgot about the dream…

>>5518278

Has this ever happened to you?

>>5518245

So you belong in a yellow ant colony or a dune coon ghetto.

Could you at least try to blend in, you fucking cockroach?

>>5518298

Nope.

What do you mean you woke up topless? Did you take it off while asleep? Did you take it off when you were half-asleep and forgot?

I have had plenty of lucid dreams, but I am inconsistent, one night I can chain three and the next dry spell can last for a couple of weeks. I wish I could have them more often and make them last longer. The time expansion sorta works.

>>5518311

Maybe I took it off half asleep.

Shit's scary dude.

I've been known to sleep walk at any point of the night.

One time I woke up outside of the house with my flip flops on.

>>5518319

>one night I can chain three and the next dry spell can last for a couple of weeks

That's basically how it is with me >>5510922

>>5518328

Question: Why do you have "Doe" set as your name?

>>5518340

It's a good name.

>>5518347

Well I can't argue with that.

Has anyone experienced sleep paralysis?

I had one last week. Scared the fuck out of me too.

>>5518354

Why doesn't anyone put names on their screens?

>>5518207

We'll fuck over people we deem to be our enemies. If someone wants to take my freedom away from me or hurt me in any way, they are my enemies. If you wanna pretend like enemies don't exist, you can go vegan or something. Would you sacrifice your kind's existence for the Jews' existence? I wouldn't. The "jews" (a certain class of people more precisely, that have managed to take and keep the positions they have today) are just as much my enemy as the average guy. If saying "nigger" was criminalized, and I said "nigger" anyway, the average guy would love to report me for it. There's a need to be the good, clever robot that does as it was programmed to do. Arbitrary vibrations, interpreted as a sensation that has been criminalized to indirectly inflict upon whomever might happen to interpret them.

If I were them, I'd do the exact same thing. That's an undisputable fact. I'd be them. I'd do what them does. I'd be conducting traumatizing experiments on children as a means to my dominance, slaughtering entire villages and sticking the heads of my enemies on poles for all to see. But I'm not them, and I've decided that the stone age is more desireable than what we've got coming.

>>5518328

Have you tried looking solutions for sleep walking? Like a device that beeps when someone crosses in front of it?

I had one as a toy years ago.

>>5518359

See >>5512270

>>5518368

Because that's the way it is. In fact, some people hate names so much that even randomly generated per-thread temporary names will make people raise a stink. I don't know why that is.

>>5517503

Is it okay for me to ask why you're in 8ch?

>>5518381

I tried moving my toes but I couldn't budge an inch. It was as I were close to dying.

>>5518379

>>5518328

This is the toy I'm talking about:

http://www.sf-collectables.co.uk/transformers-movie-undercover-motion-sensor-carabiner-167-p.asp

>>5518379

No, they don't have those in my country.

>>5518407

Move your entire torso and get up, not just your toes.

Go big or go home.

>>5518417

I'll try harder next time.

>>5518411

It's currently unavailable. Thanks anyways.

>>5518426

>It's currently unavailable

It doesn't have to be this one. Just find any motion sensor and buy it.

>>5518433

I'll buy it soon

>>5517830

You must concur your demons. Keep fighting, with the mindset that you can win.

>>5518359

All. the. time.

The key to getting out of it is to remain calm, and remember anything you see/hear/feel isn't real.

I sometimes think I'm having a conversation with someone, and slip in and out of dream land during episodes..

The whole I can't move thing is hard to come to terms with, but you have to remember while asleep, your body is paralyzed, so you don't act out your dreams.

Sleep paralysis is when some of your sensory is awoken, but your body is still asleep. You should google it, and read up on it. There is a shit ton of information out there.

Or it could just be demons raping your soul..

>>55184>>5518583

I'll take the last one.

I hope it's a succubus….

;D

Btw succubus thread?

nah jk jk hahahahahahaha

https://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100614181603AAmhNdR#

check this out fam

>>5518583

>>5518583

hahaha spirit sex?!

wtf yahoo?

>>5518560

i often find myself concurring with my demons

they make damned good arguments

>>5518612

so there weren't a lot of things in my room. Just the futon, my sword, and a box of clothes.

>>5518617

cool

Am I the only one that doesn't mind sleep paralysis? The first time I had it I had already ready known about it for around 6 years, so I was just like "Oh, this is cool". Didn't feel scared at all or try to break out of it, I just let it happen.

As for lucid dreaming, I've done tons in the past, but I've been pretty out of practice this last year. Trying to get back into it, I'm already increasing my dream recall a lot again. I'm thinking about maybe trying to construct a lightsaber in my next lucid dream, that'd be really fun to use. I might even be able to introduce it to my normal dreams like a lot of my other powers have done.

>>5518968

Lots of people see ghosts when in sleep paralysis among other things, that's why it's scary for them.

in

>>5512953

yes