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/b/ - Random

July 2018 Transparency Report
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Just /b/ yourself.

File: dceea04171fd54f⋯.jpg (37.92 KB, 509x247, 509:247, 1357457576.jpg)

 No.7698214

I'm just so sick of having to abruptly wake up out of a 3 hour deep sleep to dirty sheets covered in shit. I'm just so sick of having to force myself to grab my supplies, cut a hole in one of my bags, clean myself and my bed. This is the first time in a long time I just sat on the toilet and cried from pure rage and hopelessness built up from having to go through this for 20 years, knowing it won't get better until I die. I just can't believe my own mother did this to me. I don't hate people, but her; there are no words to describe my feelings for her. just make me laugh or something because I can't take too much more than this

 No.7698219

File: 1e7add3171b7182⋯.jpg (12.61 KB, 318x313, 318:313, thepainohgod.jpg)

What happend to you anon?


 No.7698220

It's okay if you want to share your story.


 No.7698221

20 years huh. How have you not killed yourself.

>>7698220

fuck off namefag


 No.7698222

Mommy molestered him with a sharp stick


 No.7698224

>>7698219

the pic in my OP is what I had/have, it's a colostomy bag and it has been the single factor in ruining my life


 No.7698226

Anon, do you poop into a bag? I have the same thing, but to pee. I can sort of relate with you


 No.7698227

>>7698222

I see I'm remembered


 No.7698230

There are many reasons why a patient may need colostomy surgery. The seven most common reasons involve the following conditions or situations:

Diverticulitis

Crohn’s disease

Cancer of the bowels

Obstruction of the bowels

Trauma and injury

An emergency situation

Bowel incontinence


 No.7698231

File: 2ed8077903ebc25⋯.jpg (146.95 KB, 478x465, 478:465, 1513472788640.jpg)

>>7698224

May you explain what it is friend? I'm very unfamiliar with this medical teminology..

You don't need to tell us why if you're uncomfortable.


 No.7698232

>>7698226

yea I do


 No.7698234

File: 83c2550a2bedf7a⋯.jpg (42.54 KB, 469x384, 469:384, BoYIq4u.jpg)

>he asked for funny shit

>errybody just asking for the story

>smfh


 No.7698235

>>7698231

OP, is missing a part of his/her intestines and has to poop into a bag now.


 No.7698238

>>7698234

>posts ridiculously interesting story on /b/

>expects no one to ask for details


 No.7698239

That's fucked up. Really puts my crippling back injury in perspective. At least I don't get shit in my bed. I feel for you man. Don't say it won't get better though, I mean sure maybe medicine's not there yet or maybe it is but you can't afford it…you never know what tomorrow holds. For all you know in 1 year medicine may have advanced and costs could become feasible, or maybe you could have come into some money.

Whatever you do don't live in despair.


 No.7698240

>>7698238

>ridiculously interesting

let's not get carried away


 No.7698241

>>7698231

when I was two years old, my mother got the bright idea to stick a sharp object in my ass, cut me deep and let me bleed out for 2 weeks


 No.7698242

File: f6719313e5c3b2e⋯.jpg (21.46 KB, 350x350, 1:1, Tanya Tung Nasty 2.jpg)

I don't know how to make someone laugh btw OP. but if you want I can tell you this legitimately gets me hard

<<<<<


 No.7698244

File: 3e3e1d6134dc9ea⋯.jpg (283.27 KB, 2048x2048, 1:1, 786622d.jpg)

>>7698214

I'm sorry anon that must really suck.

I hope you can find peace with what you have. Even though I'm just some fucking text on a screen. Im a real person who typed this. And I feel for you.

Be at peace friend


 No.7698249

>>7698214

I'd honestly like to be in your position tbh. I constantly have nightmares about being hunted down and killed. When i'm not having those dreams I have ones about having a gf and living a nice life, then I wake up and want to kill myself.


 No.7698250

>>7698239

I am usually very happy most days, it's just days like this that bring me back to my harsh reality


 No.7698252

File: 173fa32080dba69⋯.png (1.17 MB, 1600x1817, 1600:1817, threemilk_t_by_fragumm-dap….png)

>>7698241

Fuck dude… hold on. We're advancing light speed in medical technology in sure there will be options that are better that this soon :(


 No.7698254

>>7698252

Than***


 No.7698255

>>7698249

trust me, you do not want this. It is the absolute worst thing to have to deal with in life and has been the main focus of teasing from bullies and ex gfs


 No.7698256

>>7698241

Just for the hell of it? I can't think of any situation where that would be a reasonable sounding solution.


 No.7698257

>>7698214

OP tell us what the fuck happened, go through it step by step and don't leave out the little details. Otherwise just go see a doctor and talk about your quality of life with them.


 No.7698264

File: 79a6f6c69580c1e⋯.jpg (63.37 KB, 500x740, 25:37, 6cd201c1766255856453e0a562….jpg)


 No.7698266

Can i fuck your butt hole thingy


 No.7698274

>>7698256

I guess so. She has personality disorder and is bipolar, as am I

>>7698257

I was only a baby but from what my family has told me she was just a sick individual. She didn't let anyone take me to the ER for two weeks and I ultimately died. I made it to the hospital and was resuscitated 3 times, spent a year in a hospital bed, watched my father become a shell of his former self due to the realization that I won't ever be normal again and he couldn't handle it


 No.7698275

>>7698266

I'd die


 No.7698276

File: 03224fcddc527a5⋯.jpg (10.38 KB, 205x246, 5:6, 1fcada4a1d0ceba65c3def8a44….jpg)

>>7698255

What kind of fucking psychopathic asshole ex GF makes fun of that shit? That's incredibly cruel and not cool. Bullies are one thing, predatory people. But previous lovers?

That's fucked.


 No.7698277

>>7698274

jeez anon that sucks, I don't know what to tell you really. Kill your mother and exact your revenge maybe?


 No.7698279

>>7698277

Killing her won't fix him.


 No.7698281

>>7698279

no but it will make him feel better


 No.7698282

>>7698276

those times were the worst of all of my social interactions. their mentioning of my bag made me feel so exposed and embarrassed especially when they'd say it out loud in public. You could hear "I won't ever love a guy who shits in the bed all the time" throughout the stores and I wanted to die every time I heard those words


 No.7698286

>>7698277

I would love to but if I go to jail, I will definitely die there.


 No.7698295

File: c025d23e75320c6⋯.jpg (67.61 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, 666e8804ca6bc2143e028acc48….jpg)

>>7698282

Bruh :( that's not cool. This isint a reflection of you though remember. It shows they were horrible. And you just have a medical phenomena. One is a choice. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Also just a curious question. How does the bag work? And why does it not work when you go to sleep?


 No.7698297

>>7698286

Do you live in the US?


 No.7698300

File: 7a93152f55628ed⋯.png (313.08 KB, 773x541, 773:541, Screen Shot 2013-05-03 at ….png)

>>7698230

Oh shit i have the first one, but no way in hell i'm letting them do that goddamn (((surgery))) on me.


 No.7698311

>>7698295

the bag itself is just like a t-shirt for my exposed colon as well as a portable toilet. it's supposed to stick to my skin and keep shit from flying everywhere but fails to do that some days and sometimes especially when I'm sleeping. I can't get a good night's rest because of it and it is very tiresome


 No.7698312

>>7698297

yea why?


 No.7698326

>>7698241

Why the fuck did she do that Anon? Was she crazy at the time? Also what did she use to violate your ass?


 No.7698327

>>7698326

probably. definitely. Don't know.


 No.7698332

Have you talked with your mom about it? How is your relationsip woth your parents? Do you have any friends who you can talk to?


 No.7698337

File: 652c0c63f905a79⋯.png (99.36 KB, 746x512, 373:256, pepehug.png)

>>7698327

Sending virtual hugs

I really hate that that happened to you and how it's prevented you living a relatively normal life

Your mother deserves to have a red hot poker shoved in her cunt


 No.7698347

>>7698332

she's been trying to manipulate me into thinking that I was her favorite and she didn't mean to hurt me. She tried to wedge her way into my life by giving me money a couple times but after I found out what happened to me, I couldn't look at her without feeling sick and angry and talking to her made it 10x worse. I still talk to my dad from time to time but I haven't spoken directly to my "mother" since I was 13. nope, no friends to talk to about this because when I used to, they turned on me for some reason and became bullies (verbal mostly). all I can do now is vent on here


 No.7698348

>>7698337

thanks


 No.7698364

>>7698214

Why don't you just wear diapers to bed?


 No.7698366

>>7698347

hey dude you know what, don't be too hard on yourself, your situation is not your fault and people who told you horrible things about your conditions are fucking retarded and you should drop them. There are normal people who don't care and will respect you for who you are.


 No.7698367

>>7698311

Are you unable to sleep in plastic sheets?


 No.7698372

>>7698364

because the shit comes from my stomach and not my ass

>>7698367

I still have to wake up, clean myself and my bed


 No.7698379

File: 22c96fb3e90a174⋯.jpg (98.96 KB, 976x548, 244:137, oegkby34kxox.jpg)

1. Supply moms real name.

2. Let the Doxxing begin.

3. The power of a million chanz will make her suffer for lulz.


 No.7698383

>>7698379

quite a tempting offer but I can't do that because it puts me and the rest of the family at risk


 No.7698385

You bitch about this all the time on here. Either stop being pathetic and do something about your shitty life or kill yourself, its been 20 years faggot


 No.7698386

File: 7f53a95eac7d80d⋯.gif (1.05 MB, 320x240, 4:3, 1511439214645.gif)

>>7698214

>colostomy bag ruined my life

consult your local physician about a spine transplant


 No.7698393

File: 412892a13f96161⋯.jpg (22.39 KB, 400x397, 400:397, susan.jpg)

>>7698383

pic related, its me and 'Susan' thats what i call my bag


 No.7698404

>>7698393

how much for a night with this cutie


 No.7698405

>>7698385

only my second time mentioning my ailment

>>7698393

no one I know that has one, names it. You must be so numb to life


 No.7698465

I'm so sorry for OP that he won't ever be able to experience one of life's highest pleasures which is the feeling of taking a good shit. You can't rob a man of something like that.


 No.7698534


 No.7698564

File: 52e8a568e99c3dd⋯.jpg (35.42 KB, 509x247, 509:247, 8ch.jpg)

>>7698214

Don't worry, anon. We're all in the same hole.


 No.7698574

File: 5c0f4ca31b893d6⋯.gif (36.02 KB, 200x146, 100:73, 1413347120276.gif)

>>7698214

sorry your life sucks anon


 No.7698611

File: cb64c8d5ee3536f⋯.jpg (131.05 KB, 612x842, 306:421, 796.jpg)

>>7698234

His fault for coming a few years too late and expect funny things on /b/. Honest question, when was last time you had a good lol in here?


 No.7698619

>>7698564

requesting this to be a banner


 No.7698629

>>7698383

83 dubs confirm. Did she at least go to prison?


 No.7698730

>>7698241

lol fag


 No.7698748

gotta wait for that bionic bowel son. Dont lose hope im pretty sure you are first on the list getting this.


 No.7698753

I wish I was less of a brainlet so that I could end this evil.


 No.7698758


 No.7698761

>>7698758

Sometimes there are things in life you cant change. Now in this very second you have best emotion to make things happen rage and revenge. Get into science field go to school. Never stop learning until you invent yourself a bionic bowel. I would do that what can you lose in life anyway.


 No.7698768

>>7698761

>go to school for ~4 years to get bachelors of bioengineering or whatever

>begin work on Phd

>years later, after much toil and hardwork in academia, acquire phd

>finally can start researching bionic bowels

>decade later

>bionic bowel perfected

>after twenty or so years you are no longer shitting into a leaky bag

>still paying student loans

You would be well educated and well paid though, could be worth it.


 No.7698771

>>7698768

Not even that by that time the bionic bowel will already be invented and perfected. He would just get great job and life.


 No.7698814

>>7698768

>20 years later, still shitting the bed

<people told this shit was to go away


 No.7698816

File: 1eed734c8031d58⋯.jpg (45.83 KB, 500x536, 125:134, plastchink.jpg)

>>7698768

>2018

>going to college for that

>not just downloading some books on the deep web and buying the pieces on alibaba

Shit, you guys so old fashioned.


 No.7698822

>>7698768

>>7698771

I don't think I need a PhD to become innovative. I maybe need 3-4 years of bio engineering to get the jist of what needs what. after that, I can pretty much figure it out at home tinkering on the weekends


 No.7698829

So why can't doctors just stitch you up a working colon from some donated body?

Is there any reason why that can't be done?


 No.7698835

>>7698822

all you really need is a mechanical sphincter and a gasket to attach it to your ass that you superglue in place for that hermetic seal lmao

cleaning is for pussies imo, its still better than shitting the bed lol


 No.7698841

<I just can't believe my own mother did this to me. I don't hate people, but her; there are no words to describe my feelings for her. just make me laugh or something because I can't take too much more than this

This is exactly how I feel every day OP. For awhile I went through a stage where I blamed the whole world and everything in it, but I eventually realized that it's just my own life that is fucking shit, and it's my mother and to a lesser extent my father responsible. They should have culled me early on.

I'm not suffering from what you have but I am none the less living a pointless fucking life that is probably going to end before I even make it to 30.


 No.7698856

File: b0308d66b7b89ba⋯.png (157.3 KB, 369x382, 369:382, 1506297337964.png)


 No.7698876

>>7698252

Dude, medical technology hasn't really advanced at all, with the exception maybe of restoring sight to the blind.

For the most part they just invent new drugs all the time that fuck up people more than they help.


 No.7698884

>>7698255

> and ex gfs

Oh wow I entered into this thread pitying you and now I'm REALLY FUCKING ANGRY because a guy with a fucking COLOSTOMY BAG is able somehow to have had GFs and I'm about to be 25 and I've still never been kissed by a girl.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


 No.7698888

hahahah go shit in bag

shitbag haha


 No.7698894

>>7698888

>can't even sage correctly

>being a dick

Give back those stolen quads and go back to 4chan nigger.


 No.7698897

>>7698393

So uh birth defect or accident ?


 No.7698898

>>7698276

Isn't that expected though?

Ex-lovers always turn psychotic and become such a nuisance if you cross paths with them it means someone's going to die.


 No.7698903

>>7698277

>>7698281

>>7698279

I think he should kill his mother. Maybe they even have internet in jail? Only reason I don't kill my own mother is I'm not sure if I can post on 8chan from jail, if I can and it's confirmed, then I will kill her very soon and post her corpse on /b/. I don't think they let you browse internet in jail in my country though.


 No.7698907

>>7698903

what country fam? i'm a corrections officer im america but i'm pretty well informed about jail and prison conditions of quite a few nations


 No.7698927

>>7698300

Study philosophy and learn to accept death asap. Most of us on /b/ are all living life involuntarily and that is a problem. We should all strive to attain a voluntary life where we no we aren't living because "dying is scary" but living because we actually want to live. Don't fall into the "too scared to die but hate life" camp.


 No.7698928

>>7698907

Do you know what it's like in Canada?


 No.7698943

>>7698244

>my naem is snek i wan to help i luv to boop maek you remind on my green friendo's where you stopped readin scaly snoot i'll help you find

meep meep this sentence makes no sense tbh no homo


 No.7698945

>>7698928

canada's prisons are super lax my dude. if you get a record of good behaviour they send you to a compound in bc ? where you live in your own house with a few room-mates and give you a stipend to spend on food and smokes and shit

i know they have internet at the compound but i dunno about normal prisons there. usually it varies depending on the prison itself. even if you cant get your own pc to browse with you can usually get access to the interwebz by getting a

>job or by

>attending school

also if you meet julian you can probably bust out and get set running marijuana across the border until both sides legalize it


 No.7698961

>>7698945

in fact its so lax that the inmates usually just fuck off to the town situated a km or two from the compound for the day and wander back at night for headcount

of course this is partially hearsay but i think there was a tv series that showed canadian correctional facilities in an episode that detailed this. you might be able to find it on jewtube but its pretty outdated too


 No.7698976

>>7698903

This. You should shoot her in the guts, spray acid in her face, tie her up and burn the house down with her in it. OR, tie her up and make her huf fumes for an evening.


 No.7699013

>>7698564

>>7698619

I fucking scared my dog with that laugh.

Seconded.


 No.7699027

File: afa84cff2650988⋯.png (43.2 KB, 300x100, 3:1, banner.png)


 No.7699055

>>7698619

>>7699013

>>7699027

lol Thanks, dudes. I did that, and it would be pretty awesome if it somehow became a banner.


 No.7699076

>>7698366

>There are normal people who don't care and will respect you for who you are.

There's nothing I can respect about OP. I can only feel really one of two things, either pity or disgust. Right now I'm feeling pity. The thing is though; both fucking suck. His situation sucks. My options as to how to react to it suck. I can't make life for him better. There is nothing I can do, at all. This whole thing just depresses me. I wish this didn't happen to OP. I think the best thing we can honestly hope for him is to read some beautiful story about him getting revenge and killing himself, but I understand full well what it's like to be afraid to die, and I'm not sure how to get to that place of mind where you can just kill yourself and be fine with what you're doing and not stop in fear before the deed is done.


 No.7699093

File: f1e2bd23b60fd7f⋯.jpg (118.72 KB, 600x600, 1:1, nvjksd3Ev41.jpg)

>>7699027

Bahahaha


 No.7699144

>>7698214

Could be worse. You could be in the late stages of muscular dystrophy.


 No.7699156

>>7698945

So how exactly do I earn the right to shitpost on 8chan from prison?


 No.7699160


 No.7699194

>>7699055

we've just got to make sure dys sees it. show it to him next time you see him


 No.7699195

>>7698945

I kind of want to go to jail just for the thrill of busting out.

It sounds like it might be really easy though.

I've read up on some very impressive jail escapes from maximum security places.


 No.7699200

>>7698976

ProTip on assassinations: don't make them complicated. The more straightforward and quick the greater the success.

t. assassination pro


 No.7699209

>>7699200

t. bullshit


 No.7699221

>>7699156

Do like me, I stole an ATM when I was 17 and did 5 years.

Last two were in a work-camp type prison, and was able to leave everyday to work in a sports bar. Had waitress honeys, a guitar in the closet, and a cell phone for shit posting.


 No.7699246

File: 3d5e346e46298c9⋯.jpg (38.63 KB, 605x404, 605:404, 65436.jpg)

>>7698214

>I just can't believe my own mother did this to me.

Women are sub human.

Your trust in one did not work out clearly.

Its not like they would ever come around to playing a role in solving your life problems.


 No.7699308

>>7699209

How is it bullshit? Plans that take longer and are more complex have a greater chance to fail then just go in, grab the nearest blunt object, strike them in the back of the head or another vulnerable place that also will disable their chance to make a noise, and then making sure you puncture their lungs or heart with their broken ribs or by some other means, or cut the vein that brings oxygen and blood to the brain.


 No.7699311

>>7699221

How do you steal an ATM?


 No.7700224

>>7699311

>when no one is watching, put atm on pocket

>walk away sneakily, managing your angles carefully so no one sees the volume

>when at safe distance, run like fuck

>when people see new atm, if they ask is stolen deny it point black and look outraged

>for last step, watch videos of niggers doing it on youtube or better yet ask one to teach you irl, they've mastered the art

>if you have to leave it unattented sometimes, do check online for atm locks, they're quite cheap and you can't be too careful, lots of sick fucks out there who want to steal atms


 No.7700235

File: f198299f7b2e580⋯.jpg (35.66 KB, 632x479, 632:479, 1455895672857.jpg)

>>7698214

I gotta say, this made me feel better about spraying massive amounts of blood out of my anus the past couple weeks. Thanks OP


 No.7700237

>>7700235

If you sprayed blood from your anus then you might be on the same way as him. I would 100% go to doctor.


 No.7700241

File: 8d78ba12d9f6920⋯.jpg (61.78 KB, 550x412, 275:206, uno mas.jpg)

>>7700237

It was a hemorrhoid that developed a blood clot. Went to the hospital already.

Protip for anyone with that particular problem: Fuck surgery. Everyone at the hospital will push for it, but it's completely unneeded. Just allow the wound to close and it will heal on it's own.


 No.7700243

>>7700241

Hemmoroid surgery is the least invasive surgery in the whole medical world. It literally takes 10 minutes and you stay consicious while time.


 No.7700248

>>7700243

It's completely unnecessary, and it does not in any way guarantee that the hemorrhoid won't come back in the exact same place. Never mind how the internet at large claims that the wound never properly heals and can bleed to the point of anemia.

<b-but trust me goy it's safe

t. kike doctor


 No.7700259

>>7700248

you are completly out of your mind. Removed hemmoroids will never come back on the same place. The tissue will turn into collagen fibers. The only way how to get new hemmoroids is to sit on your ass all day or use that big ass dildo you are using but it will grow around scar tissue area and never in it.


 No.7700263

>>7700248

Second of all i forgot to add if you bleed heavily from your hemmoroid then you need surgery or you will die of anemia. But as i said your are out of your mind.


 No.7700265

>>7700259

Bullshit nigger, the doctor himself told me that hemorrhoids that are "cut out" can come back. Luckily I live next to a hospital with a few un-kiked doctors.

Anyone with half a brain would not go under the knife when it's not needed. Fuck off "doctor" /b/


 No.7700266

>>7700263

Again you're the one who doesn't know shit. I rejected surgery and here I sit, without anemia.

Never thought I would run into a pharma shill on /b/. Kill yourself.


 No.7700267

>>7700265

Are you retarded i said they can come back but not onto the same spot as they were cut out.

>>7700266

You are completly delusional


 No.7700269

>>7700267

>but not onto the same spot as they were cut out.

And the doctor said that they can come back into the same spot

>You are completly delusional

You have been figured out as a known liar trying to mislead people. You know nothing, shill. Fuck off.


 No.7700270

File: 0d6192a3aa16546⋯.png (942.29 KB, 1196x945, 1196:945, 0d6192a3aa16546ef3295af8e5….png)

When bad things happen in my life. I will at least be thankful that I do not have to have a colostomy bag. I will also dedicate my life towards eating healthily and working out as I do not ever want health complications. Stay strong OP. Maybe eat some more raw vegan stuff?


 No.7700273

>>7700267

>You are completly delusional

Seems to me like he lived it. Who are you to say he would be dead of anemia without surgery, but he's been fine without it?

You do sound like a shill tbh


 No.7700279

OP why haven't you killed yourself yet?

Bad genes need to be purged and all that.


 No.7700283

>>7700273

Now let's say this guy doesnt live next to hospital he lives out of woods hours to next city. Now imagine when his hemmeroid pops and start bleeding uncontrollably. What happens next?

Or will he live his life with hemmoroids poping all the time? The surgery is there for reason the doctors really dont want to do anything invasive to body but if they say its necessary they yea its damn fucking necessary.


 No.7700284

This world is absolutely fucked.

The life-long devestating tragedy that happens so quickly.

We never asked to be born.

Yet here we are.

What the fuck is this place?

Why does it hurt so bad?

Nobody seems to notice this, everybody just going along their boring normal days, watching The Office or some shit on Netflix, not bothered at all by this painful puzzle. Or worse, the ignorant fucks who think they know better and interfere with nature, completely disturbing all that is good in the name of wisdom.

We're built to hate our raw misfortune.

Frustration doesn't capture the actual emotion of it at all. It's like fire that burns and doesn't go away.

This entire reality is perfectly designed to make us suffer.

Fucking WHY?

Only people like us can even ask this question.

People who have been absolutely fucked over by fate, the tiny handful, are the only ones who can see this place for what it is. It's absolutely senseless torture.

I feel you anon, I understand. I wish there's something I could say or do to help you feel better. I don't know. It's all fucked. There's people on /b/ who are royally fucked in a special unique freak accidental way. So I mean, we've at least got that going for us. We're like a derranged kind of ragtag X Men or something.


 No.7700287

>>7700269

The surgery is there for a reason. When i had surgery the doctor said the surgery is literally last option. The final solution. Sitton of things can go wrong you heart can stop, hematoms, sugar in blood drops, swelling of heart etc etc. Choice is yours i would 100% go to surgery.


 No.7700288

File: cd2fd6083fd76ae⋯.png (145.2 KB, 500x392, 125:98, cd2fd6083fd76ae685a8dee7ba….png)

>>7700283

You really don't know anything. No hemorrhoid surgery is necessary, because they will always come back unless the patient changes their lifestyle. And even then they can come back on occasion. The only reason a doctor would say hemorrhoid surgery is necessary is if one had multiple blood clots at once producing literally liters of blood every hour.

Also it's cute how you latch onto the word "invasive" just like a pharma shill would. "Invasive" is just a buzzword that doctor's but "non" behind to convince dumb people to get unnecessary surgery so the doc can rake in the shekels. In reality every surgery is invasive, because someone is cutting you open with a fucking knife.

Stop spreading misinformation about something you clearly know nothing about. You are more harm than help.


 No.7700290

>>7700288

I can't help you in your delusion whatever works for you.


 No.7700292

File: a2d2044923b7426⋯.png (16.71 KB, 475x375, 19:15, a2d2044923b7426be83f4dda0e….png)

>>7700290

Gee you sure got me with your well reasoned argument! I'll go down to Dr. Goldberg's office right now and get as many non-invasive™ surgeries as I can. Hopefully I can get to 10! Double digits baby, WOOO!! Slice me open Shekel-Doc!!

Kill yourself shill


 No.7700294

>>7700292

Im not from America where you need to pay for surgery. Whatever you say.


 No.7700296

>>7700294

Neither am I friend-o! That's why I'm gonna go down to Dr. Goldberg's office and get as many non-invasive™ surgeries as I can. I'm sure Doctor Shekelberg will slice me up real good!!


 No.7700301

>>7700296

you are totaly fucking retarded i hope those hemmoroids pop so hard you die while shitting yourself. Maybe that will teach you to use logic instead of some retarded delusion. Next time they should refuse to treat you shit ass hemmoroid.


 No.7700304

File: d2a032b19a142a8⋯.gif (742.46 KB, 500x281, 500:281, for you.gif)

>>7700301

No need to be upset, you already convinced me with your stellar argumentation skills. I'm on the surgery train now baby, slice me open as much as you can. Knives, needles, and blood baby, WOO!!

One day you will die from complications and I wish I could be there to point and laugh at your emaciated corpse.


 No.7700309

>>7700304

>One day you will die from complications and I wish I could be there to point and laugh at your emaciated corpse.

At least i wont die while shitting tons of blood while my neighbor calls amublance. Glad you didnt got that surgery no one has time to treat some random mentally retarded person you literally weed yourself out of genetic pool.


 No.7700312

File: 62c99d125c50746⋯.jpg (20.49 KB, 675x450, 3:2, 57c9264f95aeb822c57a57cfc6….jpg)

>>7700304

>being this assblasted, both literally and figuratively

rofl back to pol or cuteboys, try some lube on your dildo next time


 No.7700329

>>7700312

>assblasted

Not anymore, I'm healed. Which according to the shill should be impossible considering I didn't have surgery. I was having some fun with an obvious pharma shill, can't you enjoy fun Anon?


 No.7700342

>>7699076

I don't fear death, I just don't want to take the pussy way out. I want to go out like a warrior


 No.7700369

File: bdc53254649cc24⋯.jpg (634.27 KB, 1440x2560, 9:16, btxq3h4mth901.jpg)

Why isn't there like a tube with a huge bag at the end that you can plug yourself into at night so you can sleep gud?


 No.7700418

>>7698311

i would create something like a thick padded wrap that goes around my body like you do a towel after shower, but have an area carved out for the bag to fit inside the recess. this would not only secure it better at night, but also allow u to sleep more comfortably. perhaps using foam mattress pad as material, but probably need something more firm.


 No.7700423

>>7698300

I had 1 foot of my small intestine cut out to treat my Crohn's Disease. It saved my life. Luckily my colon is mostly healthy. A colostomy would be my absolute last resort.


 No.7700497

>>7698214

God damnit OP

Thanks for making me realize my problems aren't even real

You'll be in my thoughts today


 No.7700556

Well, these kind of things require research.

I don't know how deep can someone implant something inside the abdomen, and it will vary from person to person.

But I think a bag, something soft and has a changeable form it is not the best concept, but I understand why people use it: it's a global match.

Maybe you could implant a inside gadget filled with enzymes, an dehydration part and it's own waste compartment. You would have to change the waste part and fill with enzymes from time to time, but it would be like a biomechanical intestine in the end of your organical intestine. With the right enzymes, like the one in many herbivores, your fecal could become hard little rocks, with less smell, volume and problems.

Although the pelvic area is already filled with other body structures, specially in females, I think you could do something like that. Especially in the space between the bladder and the rectum. From what I see in the picture, your 'holes' start in the sigmoid intestine, and there are no skeletical muscles with voluntary contraction in that area to hold the materials from leaving.

Sorry for the rusted english. Foreign engineer with a biomedical graduation in process.


 No.7700567

Or, in a total futuristic view. The large instestine mostly absorbs water, other substances but in a smaller quantity compared to the small intestine. You could implant a biomechanical large intestine, since it's complexity in enzymes, absortion concept (no liverkhun crypts) and overall relation with the circulatory system is easier to decypher (I may be wrong, but the vein from the large intestine don't go to the liver to be filtered, that's why people insert alcohol in their anus).

You could develop a whole large intestine, and by making that, you could emulate a mechanical esphincter, just like the external esphincter in your asses, that has voluntary contraption and relaxation.

Again, sorry for the bad english.


 No.7700579

>>7700556

or the area between the uterus and the anus in female.


 No.7700581

>>7700418

the bag leaks out the sides and because I have it,I can't sleep in any position besides slightly tilted to my left (which incidentally is one of the worst ways for me to sleep). If I sleep on my back, flat, it leaks out both the right and left sides


 No.7700588

>>7700556

I only have 2 inches of colon left so surgery to get any extra anything won't work


 No.7700601

>>7698214

>make me laugh

im afraid your bag might pop O_O.


 No.7700614

>>7700588

So maybe taking out some portion of the colon to make room, like until the middle of the transvesal colon might do the job. I know it requires a lot of research, but it's a starting idea.

It wouldn't have to be a great space and you would have to change your diet. But it would take out the problem of having something exterior to your abdomen to worry about.

You're young, I don't know how biomedical engineering works in other countries, but I don't know many who specializes in the visceral portion of the body, mostly they focus on the motor system.

It's a start. I can't imagine the struggle you have to endure, but if you have the time and desire, it would be a extreme worthy endeavour.

Hope you all the best regarding this problem, I don't know, maybe you are a jerk in other aspects hahahahahaa.

If talking helps you in anyway, I will stick around this thread for a bit.


 No.7700686

>>7699027

DO IT FAGGOT


 No.7701084

OP, I don't know if this helps you but…

Have you tried a super soft foam mattress? When I switched to one I found that instead of sleeping on my sides, turning over and over all night, I fell asleep in one position and stayed there.

That has GOT to help in terms of the shitting the bed scenario I would think? I mean if you're tossing and turning less, then the paste/bagseal has to be disturbed less.

Good luck with life, OP


 No.7701100

>>7701084

I can't sleep any way beside on my side so the shit pools in the bag. If I'm lucky, it won't leak out and get on the bed, sheets and me. I don't have a problem sleeping like that, it's just that it's the safest risky option


 No.7701140

>>7701100

Did you ever share the story of how you got that handicap? I'm comfy how you got that way.


 No.7701141

>>7701140

Oh, excuse me. I meant "confused". Please forgive the typo.


 No.7701145

>>7701140

>>7701141

long story short: mom shoved a sharp object in my ass, I bled to death, was resuscitated 3 times, lived with my great aunt ever since


 No.7704691

>>7698214

I have questions:

Have you tried taking legal action against your mother for ruining your life? Has she been in prison for child abuse?

How did you manage to get gfs in the first place?

Do you live in the US?


 No.7706855


 No.7706915

>>7701145

shitty


 No.7706926

File: 9b371848431f4a6⋯.jpg (137.2 KB, 640x453, 640:453, gold.jpg)

>>7699055

Hell yes this needs to be a banner


 No.7707006

File: ded027e56a2aa6c⋯.jpg (226.65 KB, 500x470, 50:47, lewd-phone.jpg)

>>7698255

>>7698393

>ex gfs

>gfs

Yeah I don't buy your story faggot.


 No.7707059

File: 2c12809744d679a⋯.png (288.8 KB, 716x762, 358:381, jthdfjhgfd.png)

>>7698393

hijacking op's thread to make unfunny jokes? bad anon


 No.7707467

File: 9aa4c71798b3a23⋯.mp4 (Spoiler Image, 2.28 MB, 480x320, 3:2, 372513_chleb.mp4)

>>7698214

We don't care about you

Hope you die you dellusional faggot :)


 No.7707658

>>7698884

He posted this with the exact wording if I recall, on the r9k. He's a faggot (You) seeker that uses at least those two chans.

I'm just here myself deciding if I want to not use the faggoty chan anymore then I see it's the same users with multiple threads in case you wanted to know.

I guess I'll have to find one of the chans on the darknet instead of these surface ones, as they are all the same bullshit. Maybe the low effort baiting will not follow me there, and only the FBI; be they're better conversationalists anyway.


 No.7707660


 No.7707665

>>7698611

lol what is that picture from?


 No.7707895

>>7699027

holy shit. fucking hilarious. think i woke up my neighbours laughing.


 No.7708540

>>7707665

I'd assume from some old humor mag or something like that. From what I can understand of French it announces the guy as 'fly fucker' and then described him as a threat because he spreads contamination. I first saw it posted online by Boyd Rice, but he didn't give much context.


 No.7708542

stupid shitter


 No.7708588

>>7707665

looks like something from HaraKiri/CharlieHebdo.


 No.7708606

>>7708588

Didn't know they did photo stuff, only ever seen comics. Any sauce on that? Seems interesting.


 No.7708608

>>7704691

only legal thing we could manage was her loss of custody of my little brother and me. She never went to prison. I acted like a normal person albeit hunched over most of the time to keep from farting in class plus I'm not a bad looking guy. yes I live in the US


 No.7708611

>>7706855

not enough colon for that


 No.7708612

File: a7472120ac870da⋯.jpg (257.12 KB, 822x1024, 411:512, 90-01.jpg)

>>7708606

Don't have a source, but that's definitely from HaraKiri.


 No.7708615

>>7707006

just because I have a medical issue doesn't mean I'm not able to get a gf. I even lost my virginity going into 6th grade. just because you choose not to apply yourself enough to talk to a female doesn't mean I will too


 No.7708619

>>7708612

Cool man, I'll check more stuff out. That looks great!


 No.7708636

>>7701145

Why did she injure you? Where is she now?


 No.7708708

>>7698214

poo in the bag next time


 No.7708709

File: f07ac54311a969f⋯.jpg (42.55 KB, 428x422, 214:211, _20171205_153636.JPG)

If the hole is below your belly button, just get diapers big enough and problem solved. :3


 No.7708823

>>7698214

that is a really small body for someone who can post about your experiences here.

>1. are you Hotwheelz?

>2. why can't you shit normally?

>3. why does your bag come loose when you are sleeping?

>4. what did your mother do to you besides making a broken useless human?


 No.7708839

>>7708636

she's mentally unstable and she stays in Texas rn I think

>>7708823

just a Google image dude


 No.7708842

>>7708709

about 2.5" above and 3" to the right of my navel


 No.7708852

>>7708842

ok that's bad to hear… i watched the image upside down


 No.7708853

>>7698884

simple, work on your body and work on your social skills. body training is the most important one.

>eat greens 90% of your diet should be green and raw

>push ups - 10 push ups every morning when you wake up and 10 before going to bed

>sit ups - 10 sit ups after waking up and 10 before bed

>stretch - touch your toes and reach up high after every pushup/situp workout (add more stretches for better results)

>find work, laborer work

^ will take 1 year unless you speed up the process by intensifying workouts

>have your mom take your pathetic ass to mcdonalds and just order a cup of coffee and sit around for a while - coffee is $1.34 for a small

>sit in a public places to shake the fear of people out of you

>get dropped off at walmart and just walk around for a while, learn to look people in the eyes and gracefully move your gaze to merchandise behind them (important)

>read up on good manners, teach them to yourself, practice them (gateway to all women are manners and cleanliness) / once you've toned up a bit and look normal

when your fear of being around other people leaves you, when you can look them in the eye, and you learn to be polite then, and only then will you manage to find a good woman. even with all of my faults, and they are many, I've always attracted women without trying. you on the other hand need to learn to be appealing to women. also, and this is key, do not fall in love with just any woman. read up on what a good woman is, then seek her out. getting with and falling in love with the wrong woman will fucking break you and your life.


 No.7708864

>>7698252

If only like 6 million jews volunteered for medical experiments OP's shit would be fixed within a day.


 No.7709354

>>7708853

not at all how I accomplished getting girlfriends. all you have to do (if you see them a lot like at school or work) is act nonchalant and indifferent around them as well as treat them like you treat your guy friends.

if you've only seen a girl once or twice, sack up and just talk to her. start off with "how are you doing" and move on from there. If you have any talent with comedy, use it by cracking a witty joke ONCE. If she laughs, you have a much easier time talking


 No.7709415

>>7698274

>She didn't let anyone take me to the ER for two weeks

How? Was she just lying about it the whole time?


 No.7709418

>>7699027

please make this happen tho


 No.7709424

>>7701145

Define "died" and "resuscitated"


 No.7709426

>>7709354

>act nonchalant and indifferent

>treat them like you treat your guy friends

That might work if you're good-looking, otherwise that's just horrible advice like "just be yourself (i.e. do what never worked)". Treating them like guys will at best net you a relationship like you have with guys, which, if you aren't a faggot, is pretty damn pointless. For me the weakest rejections were when treating them badly, but there's no practical difference between a weak and strong rejection.


 No.7709432

>>7709426

Be good looking then.

A fit guy with a busted face hooks up more than a pretty guy with a busted body sorry OP.


 No.7709438

>>7698244

wtf is going on in here?? goddamn faggotry that's what.

OP, it will NEVER get better. kys and live stream it for us. it's the ONLY way


 No.7709511

>>7698393

my god you're repulsive. NO WAY have you EVER had a girlfriend


 No.7709528

>>7709426

treat them as human beings who can look after themselves. Either they will gain respect from you as you appreciate their agency, or they will get angry at you because you refuse to think of them as weak. The ones who want to be thought of as weak are not the kind of people you want to be around for prolonged periods of time anyways.

I think his advice stemmed from the fact that most guys treat fellow guys that way. A sense of respect towards them and appreciated agency towards them. But as you point out, a guy might treat other guys like shit.

I don't agree that treating them similarly will always have similar results. It seems oversimplistic. If I treat a guy(especially a straight one) with agency and respect, he probably won't think much of it(Given guys are often treated that way. And he's unlikely to be gay). While a woman who is often treated as weak or inferior by their peers, given agency, will very much see that as respectable, outstanding way to act towards them, and will show appreciation for it.

I'm not an sjw, by the way. Quite the opposite. But that's beside the point.


 No.7709585

>>7699027

bo pls


 No.7710296

File: c0f2bde0cbd8bb5⋯.mp4 (4.07 MB, 960x640, 3:2, Boulevard_of_Comfiness.mp4)

I have a hard time believing we can't solve this problem as a society. We can launch stuff out of our solar system and engineer graphene, but can't make a bag that won't explode under humanly-applyable pressure? Sounds like lazy R&D to me.

Sorry about everything, OP. I've had some bad breaks with mother-inflicted permanent disability, but it's 4:30am and I'm forcing myself to stay upright long enough to tell you you ain't alone.

Hell, you've had girlfriends. That puts you head and shoulders above most of us. Hang in there.


 No.7710299

>>7698619

Seconded


 No.7710311

>>7710296

We as a society can make this happen. But only as a ethnically pure. The mistrust between races and cultures is too great to make godlike inventions. You cant throw money at scientist and hope they will make something happen. Trust and love between humans make it happen.


 No.7710320

>>7709415

This is the most fishy part to me. Who would not go to the ends of the Earth to take a bleeding out child to the ER at least within a couple days? How do you sleep knowing this occurred? His family members couldn't grab him while she slept, or restrained her while they took him? Or called police? How did no one get charged with abusing a child?


 No.7711165

>>7709424

I was pronounced DOA but was resuscitated by a defibrillator on three separate occasions

>>7709415

no she practically locked us in our apartment with minimal visits from anyone besides myaunt and grandmother


 No.7711168

>>7709426

ignoring them or treating them like one of the guys works wonders. it's seen as neglect to their livelihood as women, which in turn makes them desire yoh mkre because you could care less about them (lr so it seems to them). that be yourself shtick is only true if you build your life around you and no one else; if you do shit only you like to do and not giving a fuck about other's opinions, you will attract someone


 No.7711710

>>7711165

You're lying, or your family lied to you. They don't resuscitate people with defibrillators. That's a Hollywood myth. You use it if someone's heartbeat is irregular but you can't use it if their heartbeat's already stopped, aka being dead.

There is no way that your aunt or grandmother would not have grabbed you and taken you to the hospital at some point before two weeks. There is no way anyone would know what happened and refused to even so much as call the police. There is no way you made it to the hospital (after it took you two weeks to actually essentially die for whatever reason), and no one asked questions. There is no way the nurses and everyone else saw a child so critically injured and no questions were raised.

You're obviously fucked up, but either you made up the story of your mom because you're some weird fuckass who just likes lying about stupid shit, or your family is lying to you and there's more to the story.


 No.7711890

File: ff537583248f0c0⋯.jpg (75.44 KB, 1100x596, 275:149, op.jpg)

>>7711710

OP was dead all along.


 No.7711925

File: 99a8772a869607a⋯.png (361.75 KB, 1272x1351, 1272:1351, 99c61e789325424646aff874f8….png)

File: 69bf0a67b6a5b73⋯.png (466.1 KB, 1308x1352, 327:338, d0bf447bb2f6f88f182bb5c347….png)

>>7711890

Actually, everyone on here was too lazy but I got curious and actually reverse image searched his pictures of himself.

Others on here talk about how he bitches about this often? How boring is his life that he made up this whole story? If it's that boring, he should make his life more interesting by killing himself.


 No.7712228

>>7711925

oh fug i got duped

Why even make up a story about shitting your bed? What kind of life is OP living?


 No.7712308

>>7711710

LARPing is genetic.

Go figure.


 No.7712341

>>7711925

>Actually, everyone on here was too lazy but I got curious and actually reverse image searched his pictures of himself.

You're talking as if everyone here is ebola anons. Newfags aka the entirety of userbase don't even know reverse image search.

90% of the current user base came from reddit, 4chan, and maybe tumbler the fact that only /v/ and /pol/ are popular boards here. The oldfags had long embarked for a greener pasture.

If you are part of the 10% who vestigially still browse occasionally AND you main 8chan then you're doing it wrong.


 No.7712988

File: 269ac40eada0892⋯.jpg (24.87 KB, 326x452, 163:226, 657890.jpg)

>>7712341

Even normalfags know reverse image search, you faggot.


 No.7713002

>>7698275

is that a yes or a no?


 No.7713010

>>7698876

/barth


 No.7713011

>>7698841

tell us more


 No.7713025

>>7699144

how late?


 No.7713222

File: 82ae16728e90139⋯.png (331.65 KB, 1216x896, 19:14, stomabag_protection.png)

>>7698214

>3 hour deep sleep to dirty sheets covered in shit.

Wrap body in cellophane (cling film). Wake up to small shit bag spilt into larger shit 'bag' (wrapper) and clean sheets.

Alternatively get thick foam and create a cushion like belt with hole for stoma as in image shown.

Hope it helps.


 No.7713282

>>7698214

That's pretty shitty OP.


 No.7713287

File: 3a97eafb603e930⋯.jpg (2.27 MB, 3264x2448, 4:3, 1516361192292-909088101.jpg)

File: 9f5024f7e6c08b8⋯.jpg (1.72 MB, 3264x2448, 4:3, 1516361252107798028604.jpg)

>>7711925

could've sworn I said it was a Google image. here's a real pic of mine. also I only made one other thread months ago but it was just me telling my story of how I got it


 No.7713291

>>7713222

that is way too much work and I do have to change the bag upwards of 4 times a day, twice if I'm lucky


 No.7713649

>>7713291

Way too much work once (1hr max), or way too much work cleaning bed sheets many times?

Only you will know.


 No.7713819

>>7713649

to take it off and put it back on 4 times a day will be tedious.


 No.7713842

>>7713819

? No. It is like having a cover on only when you sleep.

The "stoma bag hole" is where your bag is. You don't remove the bag at all. You just put on the foam belt on before going to bed.

It is like wrapping a cushion around you, apart from the area where the stoma bag is. You DO NOT attach the bag through the hole. You DO NOT need to touch your stoma bag AT ALL.

You can think of it like putting a cardboard box cover over the bag, and then building a cushion up around the box to protect it.

Geddit?


 No.7713882

>>7713842

I get what you're going for but if it's anything external, the mess will slip through any cracks since I have diarrhea 98% of the time because I'm lactose intolerant and almost everything I eat that isn't dry food has dairy in it


 No.7713920

>>7713882

>slip through any cracks

That's where the cellophane comes in.

It's just a suggestion anyway, for do as you wish anon.

Peace.

I had someone close need a stoma, but I wasn't close enough to help at the time. :^(


 No.7713950

>>7713920

appreciate the suggestions


 No.7713956

>>7713950

You are welcome anon.

Peace out.


 No.7713986

>>7713287

Still doesn't explain how the fuck you wouldn't be put into protective custody when you end up with an infected, festering wound and your colon sticking out as a child. Still doesn't explain how literally anyone would let you sit like that without calling the police on your mother. You're actively avoiding mentioning it. So what'd you do, crop up and pixelate some picture? Buy a bag?

I've also tried googling how to get around the bag leaking during sleep and it seems people very rarely have your issue. So either that's something you're misunderstanding of what you're trying to roleplay like some faggot, or you're doing something wrong.


 No.7714007

File: d11eec16ef60b3f⋯.jpg (33.28 KB, 400x400, 1:1, thats real fukin neato.jpg)

>>7711925

lol I was hornswoggled so hard I don't even have a sufficiently successful success troll picture to post. I've been on the interbutts for a long time and this is the first time I can give a troll an 8 out of 8. Well done, OP


 No.7714010

File: 42502ffb01399cd⋯.png (253.83 KB, 352x352, 1:1, 4585469.png)

>>7698214

It's not so bad if you take a few precautions. I have an Ileostomy. It happened to me a few times when I first got mine.

>When replacing the bag, use adhesive remover wipes to clean away adhesive

>Prep skin with no-sting skin barrier wipes and let dry to increase the strength of the seal

>Don't eat or drink anything an hour before going to bed.

>Prepare by having a Fitted Waterproof Mattress Cover

>Set an alarm for half way between your normal sleep hours to get up and empty the ostomy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpGfcd7RL4o

Hopefully that helps. There are a lot of forums that should help you with more detailed tips too.


 No.7714022

File: a77fe9ef16382ad⋯.jpg (213.26 KB, 640x360, 16:9, tosh_529_ostomy_bag_girl_r….jpg)

>>7707006

Women have ostomies as well. And often serious medical issues cause break ups.


 No.7714043

>>7713986

I don't know the whole story because, as I stated before,I was a baby. idk why she never went to jail. all I know is that she is clinically insane. I was even assigned to her psychiatrist because of my ptsd and bipolar disorder. The reason you don't find many stories of the leakage is because not a lot of people who have this ailment are lactose intolerant like I am. I'll take a picture of my colon if you don't believe me but I don't really care if you do or not. I know my problems


 No.7714046

>>7714010

I used to use the adhesive wipes but my skin didn't mesh with it too well and took off a lot of my skin when I changed the bag. I am doing the "no eating an hour before bed" thing now and it works (didn't eat at all yesterday or today so far) but my digestive tract doesn't follow a specific schedule. usually if I've had a 4oz cup of milk, it'd take 2-3 hours for it to pass if I hadn't eaten anything but almost instantly comes out if I do eat something.


 No.7714048

>>7714022

why doesn't she do that over the toilet? sure the emptying will wet the wax and tape a bit, but it buys you a few hours

I keep an aquafina bottle by my sink in the bathroom when I I feel I don't need to fully change


 No.7714094

File: e6bd0bbd918b334⋯.jpg (1.51 MB, 2640x2000, 33:25, 041383090363.jpg)

>>7714046

I have massive problems with lactose and soft cheese or that fake "cheese product" stuff (hard cheese is fine). Either avoid milk, get lactaid milk, or take a lactaid tablet before eating lactose.


 No.7714104

File: 199335a64165ccb⋯.jpg (397.24 KB, 1676x1250, 838:625, J-Pouch-Complications.jpg)

Also keep in mind a J-pouch surgery where they remove the colon and reconnect everything over two separate surgeries might be possible but not a guaranteed fix as they can fail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfnUomzjvfs


 No.7714118

>>7714094

those used to work, don't know why I stopped buying them


 No.7714152


 No.7714167

>>7710296

Seems like the obvious/lowtech solution is to run a small hose and pump that keeps the bag basically empty at all times? Shit goes into a holding tank you can empty in the morning. I'm surprised if nobody tried this yet.


 No.7714413

>get told I'd either have to have a colostomy bag or take laxatives daily

So, I haven't had a solid shit for 3 years.


 No.7714420


 No.7714597

>>7714046

>I'm lactose intolerant

>I somehow can't stop drinking milk

Anon, you can have breakfast with orange juice and peanut butter/jam toasts


 No.7714709

>>7698286

Murder suicide.


 No.7714728

Is your butthole atrophied from neglect?


 No.7714773

>>7714709

This, freedom and revenge together will be for the best.




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