NOFAP day 122 atm.
My life has improved IMMENSELY.
I actually have done more for my career over the last 4 months than i have in the last 6+ years.
The worst thing is that i have become more depressed.
Because, you know, i have all this mental fortitude because there is no longer the shame and idk, the "unholyness" of it all to keep me down?
So i am courageos enough to take upon more challenges and follow through with them, feel less sorry for myself etc. etc. i have the strenght to bring down the moon, basically.
The myths about nofap doing nothing are all false, it seriously improved my life to a point where i can see all my failures being gone in less than three years. All the projects i started and never completed, achieving life i want, changing my personality, reaching more people. Its really all at my fingertips.
But holy fuck the depression its actually unbelievable.
I have insanely cool shit happening around me, the same me a year ago wouldve given his left nut for such experiences. I literally have no reason to be depressed, but i am.
I feel like i have lost a loved one, and it hurts constantly. But when i power through this pain it hits me, that all this cool shit is actually happening, my life is actually improving. Its like a shot of heroin(idk ive never done heroin) but you feel shitty all the time, and then there are these clarity moments that outweigh all the bad stuff that has happened for MONTHS.
Anyway, what i am trying to say, even though at times i am unhappier than i have EVER been in my life, the highs of life become GREATER than anything i have ever experienced before. That is why even after 122 days i still keep pushing, because there seriously is something at that end of the tunnel and i am too curious to lose.
Also all porn feels like watching your drug addicted friend take drugs while you yourself dont want to because you arent as stupid as he is. Not really a feeling of disgust, but more of "Its not going anywhere, i can have this whenever i want." .