No.102655
World's fattest man dies aged 38: Mexican who weighed 70st suffered Christmas Day heart attack just weeks after Cristiano Ronaldo supported his efforts to slim down
Andres Moreno, of Sonora, Mexico, weighed 980lbs (70st) at his heaviest
He died on Christmas Day morning aged 38 while being taken to hospital
Had heart attack in ambulance and couldn't be revived, his publicist said
Moreno had recently had weight loss surgery after losing 266lbs naturally
He had hoped operation would help him slim down 175lbs and find a wife
Just a month before his death, Cristiano Ronaldo gave him a signed shirt.
No.102656
No.102658
>>102655
Big guy on the outside, small guy on the inside.
No.102660
So now that he's dead the Mexicans can go back and have enough food to survive, right?
No.102661
I supoose the only reason I'm not making fun of him is because he tried to slim down.
Still, FATASS.
No.102662
>>102661
Never lose weight, ever.
No.102665
>Had heart attack in ambulance and couldn't be revived
He didn't die so good! Who wants to die next?
No.102667
>>102665
Tell me about vein! Why are they clogged with fat?
No.102669
>>102667
A LOT O' CHOLESTEROL FOR A TIRED FATASS.
No.102671
>>102669
Perhaps he is wondering how the hell you fit him in the ambulance.
No.102672
>>102671
Before rolling him into a grave
No.102674
>>102672
At least you can walk. Who are you?
No.102676
>>102658
This. He was never in charge.
No.102695
TELL ME A ABOUT ANDRES
WHY DID HE WEIGHT 980lbs?!
No.102696
>>102674
No one cared who i was until i got fat
No.102697
Lotta' loyalty for a hired gut.
No.102699
>>102698
>Removing her from the couch would be too painful
No.102720
If you gained more weight, would you die?
No.102730
>>102698
>the stench was so powerful
Stench and fat; powerful agents to the unmoveable
No.102739
If he lost the weight would he still have died?
No.102741
GROUND BEEF HAS DEFEATED YOU.
No.102745
>>102655
His forehead gains are weak.
No.102755
>>102698
She would be easy to rape thou
No.102757
>>102755
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
No.102759
File: 1451276506513.jpg (234.22 KB, 1300x1390, 130:139, heavy-set-man-couch-admiri….jpg)
>>102757
No one cared who i was before i got fat
No.102770
>>102720
It would be extremely weight gainful.
No.102816
GET EM ON BOARD. I'LL START EATIN
No.102835
>>102696
>No one cared who I was until I put on the pounds.
Fixed it FOR YOU, brother.
No.102844
>>102757
It's part of our plan
No.102885
Even if he lost 500 pounds he would be in the top 1% of fat people. Well done big guy.
No.102892
>>102835
If I lypo that off will you die?
No.102985
>>102892
IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL.
No.103059
No.103148
>>103059
For the janitor who has to clean that up.
No.103164
>who weighed 70st
>70 st
>anglos really, unironically say that the weigh as much as X stones
This is absolute stone age tier. Like, seriously. What the hell is wrong with you? Nobody knows how much that is. You could as well say that he was 7 cubit long, because it's just as retarded to use length measures based on the human body. Oh wait, you do that too.
I know this is /bane/ and not /int/ and yes, my head is as cool as ice. But still. wtf, anglos, wtf.
No.103172
>>103164
>he thinks units of measurement aren't completely arbitrary
No.103231
>>103172
The metric units are based on universal constants.
No.103235
No.103237
>>103231
>universal constants
you mean natural units such as a light second , they're usually just given in terms of metric.
No.104481
NO! THEY EXPECT ONE OF US IN THE AMBULANCE, BROTHER!
No.104484
>>103148
was getiing fat part of your plan?
No.104489
I feel kind of sorry for this big guy. Atleast we will see him in big guy heaven.
No.104490
>>104489
He wouldn't fit in any plane. Either he's not gonna be able to crash them because he's too big for them or he's gonna crash the plane because he's too big for it.
Hm. That's an interesting conundrum to ponder. Someone get those banescholars in here!
No.104500
>>104490
>banescholars
Shpeak of the devil…and he shall appear.
It seems there are two questions here:
1) Could an EMB-110 (CIA's plane) carry the extra weight?
and
2) If brought on board, could a man that big break out of the cuffs, stun CIA, and ultimately abscond with Pavel while hanging on to a rope?
The EMB-110 Bandeirante is rated for 18 passengers (in addition to the two pilots. In the plane scene, May and Day). However that's just for seating. In terms of max takeoff weight it can handle somewhere around 5,530 lbs of passengers and cargo. The fact that our man is around 1,000 lbs, roughly the weight of five passengers, means 1) is a yes.
Though the plane might groan on takeoff and need a longer runway.
2) I'm not so sure about. Fat ages and slows, though it does bring its own baseline of muscle underneath. So it depends if he fights like an older man, or a younger man.
No.104545
>>104500
But as we've seen, it was Bane's bigness in relation to CIA that allowed him to crash the plane with no survivors. Perhaps he had other things going for him as well, but this was clearly a leading factor. This man is clearly big, even for Bane, making it even easier to crash planes.
No.104546
>>102755
Her vagina would be buried behind meters of fat rolls. The sheer mechanics of it would be mind boggling, and you'd probably be crushed, if not by said fat rolls, then by the sheer gravitational pull that would become stronger as you near its center of gravity.
No.104551
>>104545
We may never know why Bane managed to crash CIA's plane, or what role size played in it.
But if size did matter, why would Nolan cast 5'9" Tom Hardy as Bane against the larger 5'10" Aidan Gillen?
Then consider Bane's later dialogue with the furry about "theatricality and deception". What could be more theatrical and deceptive than being smaller than someone but claiming, right to their face, that you are bigger?
No.104555
No.104589
The diet plan I filed with the Agency lists beans, my eggs, oats and chowder here, BUT ONLY ONE OF DEW!
No.104590
>>104484
OF COU-*coughcoughcough*
No.104602
>>104551
Height is a powerful tool to small guys, but Bane is a big guy. Even if he IS a smaller guy than the comparatively bigger guy whose bigness does not matter because Bane is smaller than he is. Such is the confusing and contradictory lesson taught by Nolan's masterpiece.
No.104840
>>104602
>confusing and contradictory lesson taught by Nolan's masterpiece.
Found the hothead in disguise trying to stir up trouble. Was getting caught part of your plan?
No.104843
>>104840
Its confusing and contradictory nature is what makes it such a masterpiece. Everything is more than what meets the eye.
No.105156
>>104602
>Height is a powerful tool to small guys, but Bane is a big guy. Even if he IS a smaller guy than the comparatively bigger guy whose bigness does not matter because Bane is smaller than he is.
Analyzing the plane scene like a younger man. Admirable… but mistaken.
Bigness is not a purely physical matter, brother. It is a state of mind, a state of being, that translates into metaphysical stature and the power to raise fires. It is something similar to the buddhist concept of Nirvana.
No.105260
>>105167
FOR YOUr spiritial enlightenement, brother.
No.105263
>>102655
I'm wondering why anyone would start dieting before dying of a heart attack.
No.105427
>>105263
HE DIDN'T DIET SO GOOD! WHO WANTS TO TRY NEXT?
No.105539
>>105167
TELL ME ABOUT BUDDHA! WHY DOES HE WEAR THE BEADS!?
No.105540
>>105167
Who paid you to enlighten prince Sidharta ?
No.105658
>>105263
>>105427
why would you diet a man before throwing him out of a plane?
No.105660
why would you diet a man before throwing him out of a plane?
No.105729
>>105540
He didn't meditate so good! Who wants to try next?
No.105733
>>102655
He didn't live so good.
No.105736
>>102655
No one cared who he was until he put on the fat.
No.105737
>>102655
>He had hoped operation would help him slim down 175lbs
No, brother! They expect a ton of us in the wreckage.
No.106029
>>105736
At least you can walk! Who are you?
No.106032
Now that he's gone, who's taken his place?
The world must always have a big guy bigger than any other.
No.106038
>>105539
LOTTA PIETY FOR A POTENTIAL KING!
No.106042
>>106038
He didn't ascend so good! Who wants to try next?
No.106169
>>106032
>Now that he's gone, who's taken his place?
These are the potential candidates:
-Khalid Bin Mohsen Shaari (peaked at 610 kg/1,345 lb; currently 460 kg, 1015 lb)
-Kenneth Brumley (peaked at 468 kg/1,033 lb; now 392 kg/865.5 lbs)
Who is your favorite, brothers?
No.106172
No.106179
>>106172
If they pulled that off would he die?
No.106203
>>106169
TELL ME ABOUT BIN, WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE JOSH
No.106222
>>106042
>mfw this describes reincarnation
No.106268
>>102755
It's time to get up, step away from the computer, and go outside for some fresh air, anon.
This is your bottom. I feel you should know that.
No.106271
>>102660
> implying they would not sell it off for muh cartel
No.106278
>>106271
what am i looking at here, outside of the obvious?
No.106307
>>106278
some nice classic special effects with dolls and a movie that had the balls to kill children
No.106308
>>106271
Jesus tap dancing Christ.
No.106317
>>106222
Your repeating digits, gratefully accepted!
Now, I was always wondering about what the baneist canon says about the afterlife. What is it like? Or do brothers believe in a sort of reincarnation cycle?
No.106325
>>106317
Everyone basically starts aboard a plane near wreckage, except for Masketta and his unmasked men.
Everyone ends the scene aboard a plane, except for CIA and his men (assuming Masketta & co are the ones who rappelled from NoshurVivors) who end up in wreckage.
That gives me a major reincarnation vibe.
No.106754
>>102655
At first they tried to airlift him to a special fate people hospital, but with him onboard, the helicopter didn't fly so good.
No.106768
>>106172
TELL ME ABOUT BIN
WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?
No.106905
>>106203
Was creeping me out part of your plan?
No.106987
>>106203
WHAT IF BIN IS THE ACTUAL JOSH AND THE THIN ONE ON THE SHOW IS ANOTHER DUDE?
No.107004
>>102655
He didn't die so good.
No.107881
>>107004
He did, actually. He died really good.
No.107999
>>106987
>WHAT IF BIN IS THE ACTUAL JOSH AND THE THIN ONE ON THE SHOW IS ANOTHER DUDE?
A refugee from the Berenstein timeline, perhaps?
No.108095
>>107999
Your trips confirmed it.
No.108432
>>107999
>>108095
Wait, wasn't this the Berenstein timeline?
Guys, I'm scared. Is this the time for fear?
No.108984
>>102655
Why does he wear the polka-dotted underwear?
No.109123
It's not the guy's size, but what he does that defines his bigness.
No.109144
Hey /bane/, I'm trying to get big.
Pic related, am I doing it right?
No.109775
>>109144
That's a big burger.
No.110506