>>83747
I would have made those two lines different.
>It's like we're falling through the stratosphere
"There's me, my men, and Doctor Pavel here."
Come on. Don't pass up the chance to put the entire line in the song.
>But Doctor Pavel now is not the time for fear (for fear)
"But please just calm down Doctor, now is not the time to feel this fear."
Or
"But only one of you. Calm down, Doctor, now is, not the time for fear."
Both have the same number of syllables. The first probably sounds better with this rhythm, but the second one is closer to the actual scene, and it's possible at this rhythm.
>And when it hasn't been your day,
"But only one of you. Calm down,
>your week,
Doctor
>your month,
now is
>or even your year
>not the time for fear
This line is tricky to get, because it's spoken so fast in the original song, you want to get something that sounds okay when you say it at the same rhythm, but I think it's worth it if you can get the Flight Plan listed in the previous line, and get a line that's closer to the actual scene.
But don't get me wrong, this is already a masteripiece.
BRAVO CALEB
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