/cancerfree/ - Random

I would be curious to see what other anons have to say, I have never experienced depersonalisation. OP, can you describe what that is like? I've always been curious.

>>17
Sometimes I feel like this. I feel like I'm really on auto pilot. I feel it coming on too at work really hard, it sucks. I feel life I'm watching a monitor of my own POV along with a lot of "brain fog". It's hard for me to act like myself when I'm in public for too long. I'm sure lots of people get like this.

At one point I felt depersonalized, but I trained myself to at least try to be conscious during most activities. Most of the time it happened would be in class while taking notes or back when I played Runescape. It generally happens during monotonous tasks.

In personal relationships I personally see no point in sexual relationships, nor do I see a point in polyamorous relationships and I find them to be disgusting. I see most of my time should be devoted to my partner or to bettering myself for my partner. I think human nature is selfish, but it's also reliant heavily on the people around you. I see others as a catalyst for me being better partly because of competition and partly my need to show off to others my own developed traits.

>>17
Wow. This is alot how I feel. I've never really fully understood it but this really put it into words.

I have difficulty finding the will and desire to do things. I'm not talking about not being able to get up and make some food because I'm fucking lazy; I'm saying that I can think or feel passionately about, or pursue something, but after a thinking about It, I wonder," Is this really what I want to do and what's the point?"

>>20
I also can relate to this shit. College, getting a good job, and retiring with a good pension is what I have hammered into my head. As you outlined, I'm starting to think these things hardly mattered as much as I thought. Life is just this big giant tub of fuckery that has no guarantees and manages to be constantly changing so one might as well do what one wants, whether it be fuck nothing or fuck everything.

I feel very lost as to what should be pursued and what I really want out of life. Hopefully I've stayed within the parameters of this post.

>>10
posted in other thread, but:

>1) Have you ever experienced derealisation or depersonalisation?
>Is this a regular thing for you?
yes, both are very common for me (even more so since i started psychedelics, still worth it)

>2) Do you see worth in intimate relationships,
i would love an intimate relationship, but im too much of a pussy to talk to girls

>judging that a lot of psychology is based on a need for survival and not much else? Do people truly have the capability of loyalty and love?
empathy helps with survival of the species as a whole, that's why we have it

>Or is the idea of having a long term gf or close friends somewhat pointless in that human nature is too selfish?
human nature is selfish in that we seek our own happiness/survival, but we find that in developing relationships with others

>how does this affect your life?
in every way, all of us

>I've always got the idea stuck in my head that nothing really matters in the long run except survival.
survival doesnt really "matter" either as far as we know. unless God himself were to tell us otherwise, we have no reason to believe their is really any goal in life at all.
just enjoy it while it lasts

>I cant trust other humans to be as loyal and loving as I'd want them to be
grant them the trust that they have earned. life is happier when you have friends

I don't think I've ever experienced the first point so I'll answer your second.

>Do I see worth in intimate relationships?
There's an inherent problem with relationships and they are fairly obvious. If I am stressed as an individual I will have to deal with that stress. However, if there is someone there to help me through with that issue I may gain some release. The faulty-line of intimacy is that there are many partners who do not have a clear understanding for each others problems. Of course an intimate relationship could work, but it requires just that, a lot of work. I think everyone truly wants a relationship. I mean a partner to spend their lives with. But for a certain person this is hard to find because their ideal partner is too specific or simply does not exist. And that in itself is a lack of understanding as well.

Relationships are complicated and they require a lot of trust and understanding of your partner. Thus they are a lot of work, but everything in life is work.

>judging that a lot of psychology is based on a need for survival and not much else?
I'm not entirely sure I understand this question.

>Do people truly have the capability of loyalty and love?
Unfortunately love as we know it is a chemical reaction that compels us to breed. Fortunately relationships aren't dictated on love alone. Loyalty is something that you have to be cautious of. You have to be loyal yourself and you have to search for someone who would be loyal to you. That's why the term "red-flag" exists.

>Or is the idea of having a long term gf or close friends somewhat pointless in that human nature is too selfish?
Nah, we're all different sure. But we constantly want to share ourselves with others. Even the Wizards on Wizardchan go on there to complain about society and its problems. They want to be heard and listened to and understood just like everyone else. And a lot of them are very misunderstood, but that comes back to what I mentioned before. A lack of understanding from both parties. Initially, I'd say its a lack of understanding of the so-called "Wizards". They are sort of hypocrites in that they, say they want to spend their time alone but then want people to listen to their complaints on their website. They've created an echo chamber of people who agree with them and whoa re in similar situations to them. Yet they don't see it as that. They see it as a place of refuge. Of course, the misunderstanding is actually on them in this situation. They want to be heard and listened to and loved, but they refuse to step into society.

>Lastly, how does this affect your life?
Greatly I feel. I like debating things on websites like this, because if I am wrong in some case or instance someone will come by and attempt to argue with me about why I might be wrong. If I end up being wrong I merely adjust my views and understandings, thus increasing my knowledge. It's great.