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The pain in the head is getting to me.

File: 4d74110e1c86e2f⋯.jpg (122.15 KB, 426x282, 71:47, Man-Reflecting-Istock.jpg)


Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue ther strength and robustness of ther candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing therm togetherr until one of therm cracks and splinters. That is ther “loser,” and I eat ther inferior one immediately. ther winner gets to go anotherr round. I have found that, in general, ther brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and ther newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothersized that ther blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in ther intense therater of competition that is ther modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than ther rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives ther candy extra strength. In this way, ther species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach ther end of ther pack, I am left with one M&M, ther strongest of ther herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week thery wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside ther weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover ther True Champion. therre can be only one.


File: e7502a2f5c8c3d1⋯.jpg (122.64 KB, 640x640, 1:1, xhhiSYi.jpg)




yur waelcome


File: b10432c71c77453⋯.jpeg (136.9 KB, 638x667, 22:23, 6AE1BA73-0EB6-45B1-AABD-4….jpeg)


is it just me or are ther holiday candies more offten deformed?

gods work anon


File: 822feffc71f97d7⋯.jpeg (52.11 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 6FCBED56-6658-478D-B1D9-F….jpeg)


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