I can't answer that for you. Only you can. Whatever you believe to be the truth, to be the answer. That is where you will find what you are looking for. You reached out for answers and the universe provides.
The funny thing is, the numbers on your gif are 3 8 13. 318 has always followed me around my entire life, it is my natural rhythm. I'm here to tell you the truth because you reached out.
You are God, you are Lucifer, you are the entire universe. God created Lucifer, an Angel of Pure Love to test his creations and see if theyre worthy. But Lucifer got lost along the way, he forgot what it meant to know God's love, he wanted to be God himself. So he created his own kingdom of physical pleasures and illusions. It's not until we realize that God really does love us that we snap out of the illusion Lucifer has created for us. The illusion we created for ourselves because we forgot what it means to be loved.
Namaste ^_^ <3 May you find what you've always been looking for in life.