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File: 1434674424272.jpg (14.94 KB, 369x305, 369:305, Advice-dog-original.jpg)

/adv/ice - Cheers Annon 06/19/15 (Fri) 00:40:23 No.12324

Everytime and again we can use some advice about things.

Here's a thread to ask our questions and see what the girls think, what advice they can give.

Or just go somewhere, where everybody knows your name and see our troubles are all the same. Help eachother, be kind to eachother, make smiles/egaos.

No Bully.

Post last edited at 06/19/15 (Fri) 00:46:14

Den 06/19/15 (Fri) 00:52:58 No.12337

Annon's such a sweetheart.

Karol 06/19/15 (Fri) 11:15:46 No.12695

>>12324

Advice dog was literally my favourite meme back in secondary school. I thought it was so funny that I used to burst out laughing when I remembered one, and follow suit by being really embarrassed.

"Hey Karol, what's so funny"?

"N-nothing, t-there's just this d-dog that's really funny and g-gives bad advice"!

"Okay Karol"

>>12337

I second that notion~

Rebis 06/19/15 (Fri) 16:56:28 No.12860

Anyone know where I could get put in a pillory for public use?

Kai Chan 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:03:53 No.18770

File: 1435100633849.jpg (39.88 KB, 455x600, 91:120, MyStyle(13).jpg)

hheeeyyy, didn't think i'd be posting here so soon, but one of my moods is starting to come back up, well there's alot to discuss for the full story, but its a pretty heavy subject, one i hope none of you will have to go threw yourself.

not sure when i should post about it tho, if anyone's here to listen i'll speak some stuff

Kotomine 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:04:56 No.18775

>>18770

I'm on mobile so no pics, but go for it.

Amity 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:05:20 No.18780

>>18770

I'm here.

Lisa 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:06:28 No.18786

>>18770

My ears are perked

Aleister 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:07:34 No.18788

>>18770

Go for it, I'm not a stranger to heavy shit.

Annon 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:09:41 No.18789

>>18770

I'm here to listen and help~

Kai Chan 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:18:55 No.18791

File: 1435101536156.png (156.69 KB, 442x586, 221:293, Kai upset.png)

alrighty, here's a short version, I've been in relationships before, some of the best moments of my life were in them, they are a great thing really most of the time.

however, nothing is forever and these relatenships did not end at death, but from other stuff, i'm not going to lie, I've been a part of some seriously unhealthy relatenships, and while not all of them were unhealthy and some broke off well at first, there's only been one time where i never really suffered from it eventually.

while the experiences have given me confidence that i can at least get someone, unlike those fedora atheist brony's for example, its also shattered my confidence equally due to the nature of some of these break ups, which would require going into more detail that I'd rather not in this post, but maybe later.

such stuff has also given me trust issues, i'm willing to allow people to get close, but i won't even bring up romance and will try to avoid the subject as best can.

being treated like that, its also made me feel abit petty when it comes to seeing other relationships sometimes, not all of them of course, but there's definitely a "i remember when i felt like that…" which brings back the feelings sometimes, i hate myself when i feel like that cause i know better that it shouldn't affect me like that.

so yeah, past failures and events thats happened has shaped me to feel emotions i shouldn't like envy and grief over some signs of affection, yet the same events also make me paranoid and unwilling to actively search for romance, at least directly, maybe because a part of me doesn't desire anything that could be very risky, but the other still wants human companionship, since humans are social creatures.

before you ask, i've already gotten over my ex's, so i have made progress on that front, its the other front that hasn't improved at all.

i can provide more details if needed.

Lisa 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:24:40 No.18803

>>18791

Oh man. I have no advice for you. Sounds like you've had some heavy shit thrown at you.

I can say that it's perfectly reasonable, though sad, to build up walls against things that hurt you repeatedly. I can very much relate to the feeling of not wanting to put yourself into the line of fire again, having had one long-term relationship that crashed and burned a few years ago.

so, hug.

Amity 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:31:48 No.18823

>>18791

I understand being afraid of what might happen with love when trying something's led down a bad road several times before. No one will fault you for being scared or for feeling the way you do, after all we only have our own experiences to form opinions on things and yours have been bad ones.

There's no real easy way to deal with something like that. You can't just ignore it and hope it goes away either. In the end it comes down to what you feel is the best course of action but I'm sure there's plenty people out there willing to show you the love and help you feel better about the past. <3

Aleister 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:32:39 No.18825

>>18791

Ugh, I feel bad to say this is something I can't offer help with.

Kari 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:35:17 No.18833

>>18791

I love a little differently, so I'm not sure if my feelings apply to your situation, but my advice is to focus on friends! There's a lot of different kinds of romance and it can grow out of all kinds of places. I've seen a lot of people in pursuit of true love get disappointed and it's usually with people that they found and met and dated for the express purpose of romance! It sounds like you aren't ready to date someone, but if you are willing to meet people, and befriend people, and open yourself up to caring about people… Maybe you'll come across someone where the risk doesn't feel so high. It could be specific to that person or it could just be enough time to get past your trust problems. Or a combination of both. But you can get plenty of companionship and platonic affection from good friends.

Kai Chan 06/23/15 (Tue) 23:42:05 No.18842

File: 1435102925374.png (165.22 KB, 448x591, 448:591, Kai trying to calm down.png)

>>18803

yeah, venting helps like now, and so do hugs *hug*

>>18823

thanks, that helps more then you know

>>18825

i don't hate ya for it, not everyone's been in a relatenship, let alone several ones, don't worry.

>>18833

i get what ya saying, and i have been focusing on this avenue of strategy, so far i think it feels like its working at the very least in the department of making me feel better, glad to know what i'm doing might be good from a second opinion.

sorry if i get all ranty and emotional at times, its me dealing with that shit, it typically only comes out during unfortunate days like this one.

ofcourse i also haven't given the full story, but i think i'd rather save that for a kindred soul or someone who's super curious, as it can be tiring to type it all out.

Lisa 06/24/15 (Wed) 10:01:16 No.19166

>>18842

There's nothing wrong with ranting or venting as you said. Please indulge.

I am always super curious! But don't strain yourself on my account if you don't feel like it. This is one of those things that I can only listen to and be sympathetic with.

Kai Chan 06/24/15 (Wed) 18:19:54 No.19329

File: 1435169994370.png (161.6 KB, 436x585, 436:585, Kai somewhat upset explain….png)

>>19166

well i'm feeling abit better today, but i do want to ask, should i post it here or to ya in a PM? my first two relatenships, while awkward, i'm comfortable with sharing them publicly, the last two, are pretty touchy subjects that i'd rather not go on about in public just yet.

so yeah, Public= faster pace at telling, but only half the story, Private= slower pace, but full story

also do mind that i might not feel like telling such stuff on certain days, i could tell the whole thing publicly but i've gone threw some sick stuff, i'm not sure how many of you all are ready for it.

sorry for the wall of text, but typing all of this is making me feel slightly better every time over it.

Lisa 06/24/15 (Wed) 20:56:42 No.19415

>>19329

Hey, If you feel better taking this private and slow then by all means. Do I have you on steam? I have so many new faces right now that I have literally no idea anymore.

Kai Chan 06/24/15 (Wed) 21:01:09 No.19421

>>19415

yeah ya do, Fearless Coward (Kai)

i'd discuss some with ya now but i'm not entirly sure what my plans are at the moment, for the past few days i've been trying to set up a movie, but i am unable to go because of delays…as soon as i know if i'm going or not i'll message ya when you are on

Lisa 06/24/15 (Wed) 21:02:02 No.19422

>>19421

Of course, just hit me up whenever you're ready and got the time. I'm on whenever I'm free basically.

Emmanuelle 06/29/15 (Mon) 14:40:11 No.25136

Does anyone know how to deal with crippling social anxiety?

I mean to the point where I can hardly order food without having a panic attack, I cannot hold conversation with people I am not really close to. I even get anxious when I post on here for example I was going to make a thread but I was scared it would be received poorly so i ended up backing out as per usual. It took two days to work up the courage to make this post. I feel like a huge coward all the time and am constantly second guessing myself. This post is a mess but whatever.

Rebis 06/29/15 (Mon) 15:16:06 No.25162

>>25136

It's one thing to help a somewhat shy friend, it's a whole other to advise on something this advanced. I honestly think you're best off seeing a therapist if things are this bad.

But if I may, getting over such things is a matter of gradual desensitization, no matter how grave the issue is. You should find a situation which makes you uncomfortable but is still manageable and put yourself in it consistently until it stops being a problem and you can move up to something more.

I'm not qualified to be giving advice on such an issue though.

Emmanuelle 06/29/15 (Mon) 15:19:46 No.25165

>>25162

I have tried therapy and it hasn't helped and it has been like this for for a few years and it is only getting worse but thank you for replying.

Rebis 06/29/15 (Mon) 15:23:10 No.25171

>>25165

What sort of therapy did you go through? As for getting worse, I imagine you've been closing off and having less social contact throughout these years? That would certainly explain it if it's the case.

Emmanuelle 06/29/15 (Mon) 15:30:01 No.25181

>>25171

It was mindfulness therapy and yeah I have been closing myself off, I don't talk to anyone bar my close family and a few friends.

Rebis 06/29/15 (Mon) 15:39:54 No.25186

>>25181

These are complex things, just because one method didn't work, doesn't mean none will or that even that same method wouldn't with a better therapist. If you want to go down that route again, you should educate yourself about the available forms of treatment and what might be best for you and make sure to choose a suitable therapist.

Otherwise, with the DIY approach, I stress my advice above for gradual desensitization. I think it will help you if you put consistent and honest effort with it. When it comes to problems like these, avoiding the source of anxiety only makes it worse over time.

Emmanuelle 06/29/15 (Mon) 16:02:59 No.25206

>>25186

I don't see how I would go about starting desensitization towards it. Just being outside and walking about almost immediately results in my heart rate increasing, more adrenaline, paranoia etc if anyone is nearby.

I don't know what the smallest kind of social interaction would be if i were to gradually start to desensitize myself. Like last night on discord, I was so scared to turn my mic on and when I did it didn't work and I ended up lying about going to bed because I felt awkward.

Rebis 06/29/15 (Mon) 16:06:50 No.25210

>>25206

You said that you get anxious when posting here but it is apparently manageable for you. You can start posting more if you think it's suitable. It's a small step but an important one. As you grow used to it, perhaps your comfort zone will have grown a little.

Again, I am unqualified so no promises. This is just what I've absorbed from reading about unrelated matters of psychology and observing myself and others.

Emmanuelle 06/29/15 (Mon) 16:27:14 No.25219

File: 1435595234233.jpg (Spoiler Image, 31.59 KB, 455x600, 91:120, cheerup.jpg)

>>25210

I guess I could start posting more but it would feel weird if I went into the general and just started posting a load since I rarely post there and it seems like a smaller community within the whole thing that is ccrp.

I will try though and thank you for talking to me.

Rebis 06/29/15 (Mon) 16:30:19 No.25220

>>25219

There are some things that are a smaller community within ccrp but the general brings everything together from what I've seen.

And there's no need to feel weird - we all know you. I've been wondering why I don't see you much and would love to see you post more.

Emmanuelle 06/29/15 (Mon) 16:38:41 No.25222

>>25220

Thank you very much for your help and for listening to me.

Jane 06/29/15 (Mon) 20:19:26 No.25386

>>25219

Your one of our maid players, don't worry about posting in the general.