I don't even know what to title this thread, here it goes.Alright, so I have been having troubles in my faith lately. I started smoking weed again, started fapping again, stopped praying so hard, and have been somewhat losing my morals. I was at first

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File: 1458523454477.jpg (45.62 KB, 340x450, 34:45, sacredheartjesus.jpg)

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 01:24:14 64ef20 No.261691

I don't even know what to title this thread, here it goes.

Alright, so I have been having troubles in my faith lately. I started smoking weed again, started fapping again, stopped praying so hard, and have been somewhat losing my morals. I was at first kind of going protestant, then kind of going stoic, then cynic, then Nietzsche, now kind of occult. It was kind of a downward spiral, all connected to each other.

let me explain it all the best I can because it is kind of confusing. First I started smoking weed again, and wanted to try to get away with it and not go to confession because I like my priest and he seems disappointed when i confess drugs and stuff to him. So, I started getting into protestantism, and ended up going to a nondenominational church near me because it was the only (somewhat)sane protestant church I could walk to. So, after that and realizing what a joke the sing songy worship stuff was, and seeing the pope betray Europe, I started to dislike Christianity. I wanted to keep strong morals, even though I was smoking weed and now fapping a lot more, and I went to European philosophy. Stoicism appealed to me, and I tried to follow it a bit but always ended up giving in when I was tempted to fap or a friend offered me weed. Then I went to cynicism because I didn't understand cynicism because no one really understands cynicism but I found it appealing because diogenes was a smart guy. Then, after seeing the pope do more backstabbing with Trump and Europe, I got even more angry at Christianity for being one of the leading forces in flooding white countries with nonwhites, and also wanted more morality but wanted to be more alpha so I took a liking to Nietzsche. I actually was a little less degenerate at this time and went on tiny nofap streaks and somewhat avoided smoking/drinking because Nietzsche was against these things. I eventually just ended up giving in to my desires and kind of abondoning philosophy and religion for maybe a few weeks, but ended up having a panic attack at a party after smoking weed for the first time after seeing a dead guy in the forest, a story I posted on r9k about if you want to read more about it, and then coped with anime and jacking off, but eventually wised up and realized I need to quit the degeneracy and start getting back to being a strong white male with good morals and healthy spirituality. So, I have now been on a nofap streak(I should say I haven't orgasmed) for the past couple of days and have told my friends I won't be smoking weed anymore, and to get on the spirituality side of things I started browsing /fringe/. Now, /fringe/ is kind of scary and the although I think that magic is probably real I am skeptical of whether it is good or not, and although I am pissed at the pope and protestantism as well, I got a book from my grandpa a few days ago in the mail that is titled "Rediscovering Jesus", from a Catholic bookshop I think, with a bookmark on a chapter about purity, which I have obviously been struggling a great deal with. Now I am as confused as ever and have been reading a chapter of the book a day, but also looking into the occult and reading "Fringe Knowledge for Beginners" by Montalk. I made a thread about christianity on fringe a while ago and revisited it and a lot of people talked about gnostic Christianity, kind of a blend between /fringe/ and Christianity, and although I knew what gnosticism was before now I am actually thinking it may be the way for me to go. I need some guidance and I don't know why I am posting here because I don't think I entirely believe in Christianity after all the stuff that I went through and I am definitely still mad at most major Christian denominations for importing all the muds to our countries but I typed this up because I am involved in this community and have been here since day one and think you guys just may be able to guide me and help me and lead me in some sort of right direction. Also, I am hoping you teach me the truth about magic and the occult, if it is all evil or maybe good, and if gnosticism is good. Please, I just don't know what to do and need help, and even though I think I am mad at Christianity right now I feel like it is one of the only good things that I can trust in. Please help me guys.

Sorry if this seems lengthy and maybe doesn't make a lot of sense, I started typing not really knowing what to say and this just kind of came out.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 01:33:30 48f038 No.261693

>>261691

TL;DR

Read fear and trumbling

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 02:50:26 64ef20 No.261710

>>261693

I may check it out, but I can't find out if Kierkegaard was a Christian or not. I keep seeing people saying he was a theist. I am reading that book right now that I wrote about, "Rediscovering Jesus".

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 04:12:43 d7b690 No.261715

TL;DR

Because your politics is your true God, you will never be at peace.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 08:59:29 327298 No.261737

You prize temporal, earthly things above God (i.e. race and nationalism). It seems that is your main issue with the faith. You have to let go if you seriously want to address this.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 11:55:40 64ef20 No.261743

>>261737

Can I not still love my race and nation while loving God even more?

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 12:20:03 6c1532 No.261744

>>261737

That's not fair. One can be consonant with the other.

Christ spoke against factions and dissension, but one of the founding principles of the majority of Western culture leading up to the so-called "Enlightenment" was a Christian ethos complementing the state and spiritually/morally enriching the people. Early 20th century American/Western European Nationalism was always ground in Christianity before the Soviets and the Frankfurt school brainwashed everyone into hating themselves.

OP, I'd like to address your post directly, but I've gotta run right now, so TTFN.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 13:09:21 a379fd No.261752

OP, you NEED to let go of your anger with the Pope and church leaders. Even if they are leading this faith to its doom, remember what Stoics like Epictetus would say- some things are up to us, and others (like this) are not. You can be a Christian and not make the same mistakes, but you will never improve as a Christian (or a person for that matter) if you let the actions of others shake your faith to its core. If the Pope cannot make be a good example to you, then be that example; just don't run out the door the next time he does shit you don't like. There's such a thing as being Catholic and not supporting him 100% of the time.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 13:45:51 d43133 No.261759

>>261752

Thanks man, this actually helps a lot. I want to go to confession next available time which is Wednesday, but I hope I continue to have faith until then. I go through days where I believe in the morning, lose faith during the day and then may believe again at night. It is like a roller coaster. Please pray that I keep faith guys.

OP but my ID changed because I'm on my phone at class right now.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 16:38:11 29eacc No.261778

well I wrote a big post but I lost it and I don't feel like writing it again, but I will say that you should work on loving yourself instead of hating and reading more about Christian Kings and Christianity history before the15th century there you will understand Christianity and it will dispel the misinformed notions that you have that cause you a lot of anger. Make sure you don't read the cuckold shit where they try to superimpose their corrupted morals and judge righteous man, it just makes you angry when you realize that some uselessidiot who got his or her job because of quotas or being in the tribe is demonizing a good Christian and conveniently leaving out facts.

Also white is not a race, that is some Babylonian shit. You must be a burger if your race is not your nation.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 17:25:10 8dfb36 No.261788

Ignore the people who tell you that you're not supposed to be political, but the pope can be. That's some Pharaisaical garbage right there. Politics are fine but right now you need faith, not some guy jamming multiculturalism down your throat. I'd start by finding a group of men from your Protestant church and reading the gospels and prophets in the OT. Your priest has failed to help your faith and so has your pope. I did the exact same thing as you until I found some Christian brothers on this journey and my faith has greatly increased. Don't worry if the church isn't perfect - God said that even if you have 2 pieces of gold you should still invest it - life won't ever be perfect. I'll write more later I'm out now. Stay strong, op.

Anonymous 03/21/16 (Mon) 22:38:26 da06c8 No.261832

File: 1458599906699.jpg (78.62 KB, 850x400, 17:8, flannery.jpg)

>>261759

Anonymous 03/22/16 (Tue) 03:58:24 39dc67 No.261876

Sounds like you have a lack of faith - you're trying to replace multiculturalism with /pol/ and you will fail

> importing all the muds

How many times have you been personally harmed by a dark skinned person? Statistically you've been harmed many more times by whites, but immigrants are just a convenient punching bag for you to avoid personal change. Is the root of your angst really a few black people?

>Also, I am hoping you teach me the truth about magic and the occult, if it is all evil or maybe good

It's all evil. Read what Samuel did with the witch at En-Dor.

>"Fringe Knowledge for Beginners" by Montalk

Ditch this garbage and read some real Scripture/Christian philosophy. If you're determined to be Catholic pick up a copy of Peter Kreeft's Christian Apologetics. I'd recommend that you go back to your Protestant church and even your Catholic one and join every bible study/organization that interests you. Get off the internet and try to be a person too busy to look at porn.

>Sorry if this seems lengthy and maybe doesn't make a lot of sense, I started typing not really knowing what to say and this just kind of came out.

We're happy you posted here, stay strong!

> I need some guidance and I don't know why I am posting here because I don't think I entirely believe in Christianity

Then pray for faith. You'll have faith in the supernatural, yes? Why not supernatural stuff with actual facts? What is upsetting you? What can't you believe?

Anonymous 03/24/16 (Thu) 02:25:13 64ef20 No.262283

>>261876

Thank you man. I think a lot of this has just been a result of me dealing with lust poorly and giving in. Please pray for me though, I have been sort of getting back on the horse, but today I started reading the fringe book again because I was losing faith in Christianity, thinking about how appealing eastern religions can be and did the thing in chapter 5 of "Fringe Knowledge for Beginners" where you visualize what you want and get really happy and then say that phrase and try to forget about it and it's supposed to then happen in a few days or weeks, because I wanted a gf. I know this sounds pathetic, because it probably is. After a while, I started thinking about Christianity again and got afraid of the occult, so in the shower just now I had some sort of a realization. All while talking aloud I told Satan to get away from me and called Jesus my personal Lord and Savior, and asked him to save me and protect me, and for me to never do anything occult again and for him to undo whatever sort of spell or occult thing I did earlier today, and I also asked him to never let me lose faith like that again. Now I am scared I will lose the faith again, and I'm also kind of scared that I did something demonic. I just wish I could go to confession tomorrow but I have to go to school, and I dont know if I will keep my faith until the next available confession on Saturday or friday and I don't wanna do something stupid or occult. I was supposed to go to confession today but I lost my faith during the confession time, and did this stuff. Pray for me guys, please. I don't wanna lose my faith again and I am weak, I feel like it may be the only way for me to keep my faith is by God saving me. Please pray for me. Also, I think I may abandon imageboards and the internet for a bit.