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/cow/ - Lolcows (Merry Satanmas!)

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File: 1438926269026.jpg (2.32 KB, 126x111, 42:37, eddy.jpg)

0acef5 No.147985

Who are characters in works of fiction, whom we would be talking about here, if they were actually real?

pic related

bb2a85 No.147989

http://8ch.net/cow/res/140504.html#142727

>>142498

>Also, come of think of it, Kaiba would probably be on /cow/. He wears a trench coat everywhere, takes everything ridiculously seriously despite being the world's biggest fucking nerd, spends insane amounts of money on pointless nerd shit and living out his wacked-out fantasies, has no parental supervision, and, as it seems a common theme in the new generation of cows, somehow limitless money. Though apparently he's actually a ridiculously good businessman at least.

>The show is basically /cow/, except with a nerd, his friends and his ancient Egyptian pharaoh headmate IRL milking him.


d93dad No.147990

File: 1438927331384.jpg (33.79 KB, 200x300, 2:3, doug.jpg)

Doug Funny


999e4f No.148005

>>147990

Been a while since I watched the show (like ten, twenty years?) but didn't he do the whole headmate thing?


144c51 No.148044

>>148005

Kinda hard to tell given it's a cartoon with a dog that acts like a human, could easily enough just be imagine spots.

Either way, it's not classic internet headmates, because he isn't telling the whole goddamn world about it at every opportunity.


d93dad No.148047

>>148005

Yep. Also had his own shitty self-insert comic and dreamed of becoming a cartoonist, was a beta nerd who couldn't get the girl he obsessed over, and was always lost in his own little world with anxiety/schizophrenic problems. Sounds like a recipe for disaster if there was Internet back then.


7848cd No.148053

File: 1438953215674.jpg (167.5 KB, 500x400, 5:4, ignatiusjreilly.jpg)

A Confederacy of Dunces is set in the 60s but I think Ignatius has some similarities with Chris:

>30 years old

>morbidly obese, poor hygiene, horrid fashion sense

>living with his mother, she wants him to move out

>if memory serves he had a difficult relationship with his father

>scared of leaving his hometown

>colossal ego, hypocrite, believes his failings are the results of a higher power

>can't get over the death of his childhood dog (sound familiar?)

>has no interest in working

>when he finally does get a decent job he gets fired after a few days for making a fuss about some small issue (I think?)

>later got a job as a hot dog stand and got fired again

The main difference is that he's actually really smart, and shows a strong contempt for women whereas Chris at least has an interest in getting laid.


e8952f No.148066

>>148053

>shows a strong contempt for women

Chris wants to get laid, but he does this too.


1cbb5c No.148069

File: 1438957376179.jpg (65.87 KB, 438x576, 73:96, Theon_2x10_infobox.jpg)

Theon Greyjoy


1cbb5c No.148070

>>148053

As mentioned, Chris has a contempt for women. Or at least, he has no respect for them.


812289 No.148073

>>148070

He had no respect for women, he had contempt for men. You might argue that he respected men, but only in the sense one respects an adversery.


e8952f No.148075

>>148073

He has contempt for everyone that isn't himself.


812289 No.148080

>>148075

I don't know if that's true (even if we don't take his close familly into account). Contempt is an actually negative emotion, it implies dislike of someone. I don't know where he's shown that he's done that with women.


1cbb5c No.148084

>>148080

He hates women that won't fuck him.

Which is all of them.


812289 No.148087

>>148084

The only women I think he hates is people like Vivian Gee, who troll him. Around the rest he's just a beta orbiter. I've never seen him exhibit hate towards them, and only speaks well about his "Gal-pals".

Do you have anything to back up your claim?


fbbf40 No.148159

>>148053

He was the first person I thought of when I saw the thread.


7848cd No.148190

>>148087

>>148084

>>148080

>>148075

>>148073

>>148070

>>148066

I meant to say that Ignatius openly shows contempt for women while Chris at least tries to manipulate them into having sex with him.


1cbb5c No.148218

>>148087

His hatred for Megan and the fact that his desperation for a reunion with his gal-pals soon turned to hatred once he believed they said things like 'I don't really know you'.

Chris hates any woman that won't fuck him.


c4815c No.148226

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

This guy

John C Reilly is a genius


ab129c No.148231

SAGE!

This belong in /tv/. /cow/ is about making people do stupid things for keks, not laughing at fictional characters. Mod please lock.


812289 No.148234

>>148218

>desperation for a reunion with his gal-pals soon turned to hatred once he believed they said things like 'I don't really know you'.

I don't remember this happening, but maybe it did.

Sure, he hates Megan (and possibly his gal pals too), after she (they) said she (they) didn't want anything to do with him. These are all people who he wanted to spend time with, but who rejected him. You can't take his feelings for people who opnely alienate him (something which can be quite hurtful) and say that applies to all women. He didn't hate them before, even though they didn't want to sleep with him.


7848cd No.148236

>>148218

I think his hatred for Megan comes from Bob and Barb feeding him their paranoid delusions that she was part of the "troll conspiracy", as revealed in a phone call with them (this was before Chris did the voodoo jar thing and the other bizarre videos). He made tributes to her in videos and other material for a few years after she cut off contact with him.

http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan#Aftermath


dd76b2 No.148270

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>148226

Brule! Yes, definitely.

Michael Scott, from The Office.


56d8bd No.148283

>>147990

Reminds me of that time /v/ vandalized the doug wiki and rewrote everything to make him a serial killer.


4881ae No.148313

File: 1438988740784.png (43.49 KB, 250x250, 1:1, TF2-Soldier.png)


f5344c No.148324

File: 1438989433881.jpg (22.15 KB, 480x480, 1:1, 1438698210394.jpg)

>israel threads gets insta-autosaged

>thread on shit board owner gets autosaged

>"lol hey guize what fictional characters would be cows if they weren't fake lol" thread is left alone

wew


fed880 No.179992

>>179986

/operate/ confirmed: http://freech.net/operations/res/2278.html


940f73 No.179999

>>148313

I think he would actually hunt down anyone who makes fun of him and rip there spines out.


48cd27 No.180097

File: 1446512448501.jpg (16.8 KB, 182x200, 91:100, heffer.jpg)

>>147990

Doug would be more of a SJW than a lolcow.

Heffer on the other hand:

>Lives with his parents.

>Fat glutton.

>Selfish.

>Jobless.

>Unreliable ass-hole who exploits and back-stabs his friends for his personal gain (mostly Rocko).

>Almost never helps anyone unless he gets something out of it.

>Will screw something up, and not feel bad about it.

>Makes a move on a girl his friend wanted to date.

Heffer and Philbert were dicks.

I can think of a few more like Milton from Office Space (shut-in, creepy guy) and Duckman (obnoxious, dead beat dadt). You could probably make a good argument about Charlie Brown being a lolcow (poor kid gets julayed by everybody even his own dog, but he has his winning moments).


386f41 No.180118

File: 1446518047661-0.jpg (26.73 KB, 680x292, 170:73, 1427206221444.jpg)

File: 1446518047662-1.gif (72.09 KB, 300x100, 3:1, 1434075016476-3.gif)

File: 1446518047662-2.png (1.25 MB, 1024x836, 256:209, 1360965975682.png)

File: 1446518047662-3.png (1.95 MB, 959x2277, 959:2277, FemaleCloud.png)

File: 1446518047951-4.png (351.74 KB, 640x480, 4:3, Rugrats_-_Grandpa's_Bad_Bu….png)

Prove me wrong.


e09fb8 No.180121

Jace


98ffff No.180124

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>148226

Pretty much every character on a show created by Tim and Eric

>>180097

Duckman would be a big time anti-cow


f5bdc0 No.180129

>>180118

How is Thomas a lolclow? He's a fucking train.


386f41 No.180141

>>180129

>obeys the Fat Controller

>he'll be destroyed if he is anything other than a 'useful engine'

>loves being a slave

>mentally a child

He's an autist.

Also, fuck Gumby.


c4815c No.180147

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>148270

>Michael Scott, from The Office.

Good call. Maybe Dwight to some degree as well


48cd27 No.180186

File: 1446534637385.jpg (21.85 KB, 240x320, 3:4, jaysherman.jpg)

>>180124

Duckman would be both a cow and anti-cow like Charlie Brown. In their respective worlds, they're cows to everybody, but when they have their shining moments they're anti-cows for the most part (Duckman's rants and actions prove the politically correct/SJW approach can be a load of shit, Charlie Brown finally being successful or having a good day). You gotta remember that Duckman isn't much of an anti-cow because he's meant to be a fuck up on the show.

Jay Sherman from the Critic would be a cow in his world, but he might be more of an anti-cow like Duckman. He has a job, takes care of his son as a divorced dad, and gives a shit about most of the people in his life; however, he can be an eccentric, snobby prick that lives in his own little world. Sometimes he sets himself up for trolling while he looks for his happiness when his ego gets the best of him. Jay is also a fat glutton like Heffer.


6e40cb No.180225

>>180147

Isn't Dwight used as a lolcow in the show?


c4815c No.180244

>>180225

Basically. A lot of the early seasons put a lot of focus on jim trolling dwight (they play this down in later seasons as the show shifts from situational humor to love triangles)


999e4f No.180251

>>148283

Please tell me you have screenshots


191480 No.188810

File: 1450657577234.jpg (74.58 KB, 1000x562, 500:281, carls-jr-aqua-teen-hunger-….jpg)


48b09b No.189042

File: 1450740442980.png (329.63 KB, 800x505, 160:101, Never herd of him, cracka.png)

>>180118

Never herd of them, nigga. Even though Stu became a meme.

>>180124

What about George Costanza?


3d058a No.189073

File: 1450747576150.jpg (142.24 KB, 1920x1040, 24:13, Ghost.in.the.Shell.1995.10….jpg)

>>180141

jesus christ that's an awful existance


5f4c15 No.189082

>>188810

Carl is all of us




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