/cow/ - Lolcows (Merry Satanmas!)

>>178248

>not using the chris thread

>>178250

There's a Chris thread on /cow? Gosh golly mister, my sincere apologies.

>>178248

Shouldn't you be working on Infinity NEVER, Null?

>>178251

Stop trying to take the attention off yourself. You're our #1 lolcow now, Joshy.

>>178258

Methinks the lady dost protest too much.

>tfw /cow/ doesn't even give a shit about the reason they exist anymore.

sad. I guess there's that ripe peter coffin drama to get back to. maybe you'll find the ball socket joint on her this time.

So, Chris has retconned his new Dr. Ren Skysoar into the comics in place of Robotnik? Is there any explanation why? I've always followed Chris more for the drama than the comics (I've read maybe 2 of them). Does he do this often?

>>178271

>I've always followed Chris more for the drama than the comics (I've read maybe 2 of them).

You are missing out! The comics were the best thing to come out of him/her.

>>178269

How's the Starbucks girl, Null?

more namefagging from our (least) favorite cheese pizza fan

>>178324

There's literally nothing wrong, unnatural, or immoral about child love.

>>178328

Wow your so brave :)

>>178328

You're not Null.

Null writes long, TL;DR text walls about how he's not a bad person.

>>178271

>Does he do this often?

It's becoming a thing for him. It started with book 10 when he decided he was no longer going to try and cure da homos. Now it seems he's slowly phasing out the copyrighted characters before he gets a cease-and-desist letter.

>>178335

>Chris

>getting a cease and desist letter

Sega have known about his autism for many years. They don't give a fuck. What's more, Chris doesn't believe he'll ever be sued

>>178334

I have given up on expository writing on /cow/ because the denizens of this board cannot hope to understand the information I'd wish to convey.

Here's a long story short for you on my stance on child love. People do not choose to be attracted to children or adults any more than they choose to be attracted to males or females.Not all pedophiles are child molesters (or vice versa). Child molesters are defined by their acts; pedophiles are defined by their desires. There are pedophiles and hebephiles who never act on their sexual attraction towards children. They cannot be blamed for what they feel, and they should be supported for the constant self-restraint they must exercise in order to behave ethically.

My heart goes out to people to whom nature has given something as powerful and as distracting as a sex drive and no healthy way to express it. Pedophiles are not the only folks in this position, but they are by far the most demonized, regardless of whether they have ever actually caused anyone any kind of harm. There is no known way of turning a pedophile into a nonpedophile. The best we can do is help a person maximize their self-control and to help them build an otherwise happy and productive life.

We should acknowledge the existence of "good pedophiles," people like me, who are burdened with a sexual interest in children but who possess the moral sense to resist acting on that interest. It's a lifelong struggle for "good pedophiles," and most manage to succeed without any emotional support – to say nothing of credit – whatsoever.

>>178338

>Null

>No healthy outlet for 'his' sexual desires

So this Starbucks girl, who 'you' tried to fuck, how old was she?

>>178339

She was about 15 but looked very young and had many promiscuous displays of apparent sexual ripeness such as tattoos and piercings.

>>178341

How long did you stalk watch her for? How many months?

>>178341

Fuck off Null. Seriously, nobody cares. You're not some pedo martyr, you're a fucking faggot that I hope is tittyfucked by Chris Hanson. Your biggest claim to fame is being popular on a board where we make fun of retards. You are a dull pencil, a graph of Y=0, a new Brittney Spears album: Pointless.

Now instead of trying to defend yourself for being a giant retard, how about you stop being a tripfag like the rest of us and get your ego out of the little girl pillow you stuck it in.

Fucking faggot.

>>178348

He's not actually Null

I just love rape so much.

>CWC thread

>People prefer talking about Null and Kiwispergs instead

This is how boring Chris has become

>>178399

Know your place, boy.

Chris Chan is the biggest argument against internet bullying. This is the first case of the internet actually destroying a person.

>>178412

Way way way waaaaaaaay before Chris started making videos he gave himself a shitty life. He is responsible for 95% of all the shit that happened to him.

fuck off newfag

>>178412

Given how his parents raised him to believe that he was the victim of everything, chances are the internet merely influenced his destruction.

>>178412

Sometimes a person's life deserves to be destroyed. Chris was a bigot and that makes trolling him ok. He set a really bad precedent for what autism was that taints it to this day. I'm autistic and I definitely don't behave like Chris does.

>>178412

Internet didn't do shit to him. Autism and a shitty upbringing by two parents old enough to be his grandparents are what did him in.

>>178424

hi a-log

>>178436

>hi a-log

Going to downvote my post too kiwifag?

>>178424

Nice powerlevel you got there, perhaps Kiwispergs might like you and will welcome you with open arms as long as you bend over and get their autistic edgelord leader's cock down your throat

>>178454

>powerlevel

Hi kiwifag. No, I won't join your forum. Yes, you should kill yourself.

>>178425

I doubt the constant harassment helped.

>>178456

Oh my, I can't believe I haven't realized yet that I am talking to Xalver

fite me irl

>>178474

Aside from the fact that he was 'harassed' he doesn't remember most of it.

>>178526

He finally amputated his udders.

>>178556

You we don't need to troll him to produce julay.

Actually, he seems to be producing more now that the trolling has subsided. I know we'll never return to the days of classic Chris, but it would be nice to see some more Sonichu and other lighthearted antics before he inevitable ends up incarcerated/institutionalized/homeless

Extra Credit Question: What's going to happen to him when Barb dies?

>>178573

I'm pretty sure the what if section of the kiwi farm has an answer for that you tremendous fucking faggot. Nobody gives a shit.

>>178577

Calm down and take your xanax, sperg

>I still care about Chris-Chan and ask stupid speculatory questions in 2015

t. Gobblecock the King Sperg.

>>178584

What if a troll dug up patti and nailed her to a cross on snyder's lawn?

>>178594

I'd cum

>>178594

It'd have to be the same lawn in was dug up in; Chris's lawn. He'd be too lazy to check if it actually went beyond his street despite the hole in his lawn.

Chris looks better now. His hair is thicker. Was he on a high dose of some stimulant or something before? Your hairline and thickness doesn't ordinarily get better with age or hormone therapy unless there was actually something wrong in the first place. Also his skins cleared up remarkably. How long until he gains some more brain function?

Stimulants can cause malnutrition by causing the shits. Imagine what autphag is going to look like in 5 years.

>>178608

>implying any jews were gassed

>>178609

You mean with the portable chambers or the with zyklon b later on? They had started with carbon monoxide.

Stupid Nazi fuck. At least acknowledge the history.

>>178611

Well I suppose murder is victimless if it's painless and their existance is tortuous due to their "love" of children. I understand how integral sex is to the human experience. I am not without compassion. You're right. I'll start murdering them straight away. Humanely of course. Anyone know where I can get a really good shechita knife?

You can't unfuck a child.

>>178613

Yes, acknowledge the Official© version of history presented by our good friends the USSR.

You sound rustled. Calm down, please.

>>178616

The official history includes Stalin wanting to deport or kill all the jews in the end because he thought they were plotting against him. So…no. what you say doesn't add up. Stalin was worse than Hitler, but only by a notch. What you are doing is revising the history for your own convenience. It's like trying to deny the genocide of native Americans by the Spanish, because you like Spain or hate none whites.

Just go back to /pol/

>>178622

What animal is that for? You could behead someone with that thing.

>>178248

>he

>>178271

> he

>>178335

> he

>>178419

> he

>>178420

> he

>>178424

> He

>>178526

> he

>>178573

> he

>>178607

> he

Christina is a stunning and brave woman. We should never forget that she is one of the greatest examples of trans women, or really should just be referred to as women, that there is.

>>178617

Shalom rabbi!

>Dunno if this place cares about Chris anymore

Of course we do, he's like our own Gene Simmons or Ozzy. Even if he's been out from the limelight for some time, we still keep tabs on him occasionally.

>>178656

>We care!

>Thread is entirely sperging.

Ya ok.

>>178248

>caring about ancientcows

>when they haven't done anything interesting or worth talking about in aeons

This is why Peter Coffin has 50 threads, faggot.

>>178269

Kiwi is dead, faggot. Don't you have a site rewrite to never finish while stealing all of Hotwheels' shekels?

>>178248

>caring about ancientcows

>when they haven't done anything interesting or worth talking about in aeons

This is why Peter Coffin has 50 threads, faggot.

>>178269

Kiwi is dead, faggot. Don't you have a site rewrite to never finish while stealing all of Hotwheels' shekels?

>site is still shit and will double post this

>>178424

>I'm autistic

Yes, you are

>I definitely don't behave like Chris does.

Yes, you do.

>>178834

>Chris literally wants to self-impregnate and give birth to Pokemon

I love the greentext descriptions that accompany this image. The last thread had one that went

>Chris is fantasizing about reproducing asexually as a hegdehog

>>178616

>presented by our good friends the USSR

You mean by the Nazis' own documents and personnel?

Why do we have to acknowledge World War I or the French Revolution? They teach them in school, after all, so they're probably just government propaganda.

>>178617

Stalin was worse by a longshot. Hitler ended up ruining Germany and killing millions, but he's still not as bad as he's made out to be. He had actual reasons for the things he did, even if he made foolish decisions.

>>178412

Everything that happened to Chris was the result of Chris' own actions. The only legitimately bad thing that ever happened to Chris and wasn't his own fault was Bob dying.

>>178837

>Chris is fantasizing about reproducing asexually as a hegdehog

Who hasn't?

>>178853

Not even remotely true. He's mentally handicapped and people have taken advantage of that for years to troll him to believing shit. Imagine if had been done to someone with downs. You'd be morally outraged.

>>178855

>moralfagging on /cow/

Go home Kiwifag.

>>178857

I thought kiwis did the opposite.

>>178860

Kiwifags a-log and moralfag, depending on the thread. /cow/boys are the perfect middle and know they only do it for the lulz. You are a kiwifag.

>>178860

KIWISPERG GO HOME

>>178861

But Chris didn't start out this way. The trolling did affect him.

The trolling had minimal adverse effect on Chris's life. For a really long time he fell for all of those stupid trolling plans and even after their finales, he'd bounce back like nothing ever happened to him. He never cared about any of those fake girlfriends, he'd always be on to the next one within a few days. The only real negative of the trolling is that Chris eventually stopped producing videos. Of course now he blames the trolls for everything that ever went wrong in his life, but if it wasn't the trolls he'd just blame cops, michael snyder, niggers, jews, or Mary Walsh.

>>178887

I don't think he bounced back as well as pretended to. Look at what he's become. Young Chris wouldn't have done what he did at gamestop. He'd have just held up a sign and creeped people out until he got escorted out.

>>178888

He was vandalising stores long before the GameStop incident. He's got a long history of anti-social behaviour.

>>178895

Not like that he wasn't. Also of course he has a history of anti social behaviour. He's an autistic virgin living with his hoarding mother in fucking Virginia who got the shit trolled out of him. I'm surprised he hasn't gone on a shooting spree.

>>178641

do you not know about mike "going rambo on sambo" staloska? he's a very dangerous man….

I'm starting to miss old racist and bible belty Chris. This tranny shit is definitely weird, but it isn't as funny as it is sad.

>>178851

Towards the end he was far from rational. In fact he'd gone so far over the deep end that some of his own tried to off him. Probably the meth. He had the meth shakes bad. Just watch his hands in the videos. JFK ground his teeth, Hitler had shaky hands and little tics. You can always spot a meth addict. In JFKs case the heroine evened him out a bit, but it's still there. I'm pretty sure it would have ended badly had he lived. The last thing this timeline needs is another unpredictable incompetent nut in command of a world power.

>>178984

And that's why I'm really hoping that the GOP nominee isn't Trump or Carson. Or that Hilary isn't the next President. Actually, scratch that as Hilary is more like the unholy fusion of Richard Nixon and Cersei Lannister. A crooked cunt, but not unstable.

>>178991

It really was, I uninstalled it immediately. But I can see how an 11-year-old who didn't have broadband might have thought it was the bee's knees.

>>178995

What 11 year old didnt have access to a Starbucks or a phone with 3g? Plus didn't you have to download a patch?

>>178976

I agree with you, and even looking at Chris, he doesn't seem all there these days. Those hollow, empty eyes have seen better days, and I wonder if he's even begun to reflect on his actions.

I do find it even more pathetic that people are starting to refer to Chris as a she. Chris isn't a woman, he never will be.

>>178851

Stalin had reasons for doing what he did too. He thought the rest of the Politburo was out to kill him, which wasn't helped by Ryutin's manifesto.

please contain your /pol/ autism to any /pol/ approved bathroom with a glory hole, this is an autistic place but not that autistic.

>>179025

Well to be fair Hitler was a bit of a cow. He apparently stalked this chick for years and never even introduced himself. He was a virgin well into his 30's at the very least. He did a fuckton of meth and threw massive tantrums. If they had the internet back then he'd have been laughed out of politics.

>>179026

….no, you are just bad at history. A ww1 vet with a talent for speeches would not be a cow. please crawl back into whatever Whiskey Tango snatch you came from and lock it from the inside.

>>179026

Also stalin compulsively drew naked men, does that mean he is a cow too? History is filled with damaged people, cows are retards who cant walk away from a keyboard, please learn what a cow is so you can fuck off and never post here again.

>>178900

He tried to run over Michael Snyder on two separate occasions, succeeding on the latter. He was charged for trespass and disorderly conduct at a Target in 2005 (they dropped the charges, big surprise) and that's just the stuff we know about. His father said that he had at six or seven run-ins with the law previously.

Bottom line, trolls didn't have anything to do with Chris becoming a criminal, he was already a criminal long before trolls discovered him.

>>179031

I understand that line of reasoning, but its also true he would have probably moved on long ago if there wasnt a crowd of people cheering and booing him simultaneously, he would have gone out of his comfort zone, we have had him trapped in his comfort zone for better part of a decade.

>>179034

What?

>>179034

I thought that was pretty straightforward, people pay attention to chris, chris spergs over this both positively and negatively, preventing him from ever moving on or evolving.

Imagine you are chris, a bored 32 year old virgin, imagine there are dozens of people that contact you a day, usually negs but a lot of positive stuff and suck ups/trolls telling you to cut off your dick, do you think he would ever get enough positive or negative initiative to change his life?

>>179029

A failed art student who suffered from hysterical blindness on the battlefield and would later insist it was from mustard gas, who stalked a girl for years and threw daily hissy fits. Yeah, that's not a cow. Ladies contain your orgasms.

>>179035

meant you, not me, and I meant the whole being a criminal before we found him, maybe he would have changed if not for our hugbox, weirder things have happened.

>>179038

please stop acting like a retard, idiot baiter, unless hitler couldnt stop writing letters to random people in a crowd who didnt salute him you have nothing to base anything off of, again please realize a weird person =/= a cow and fuck off, or there would be several thousand posts a day.

>>179041

He was too busy throwing irl hissy fits and getting everyone killed.

http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/triumph/tr-last.htm

>>178887

>jews

CHRIS-CHAN IS NOT AN ANTI-SEMITE

TAKE THAT BACK

Nobody cares about this faggot.