/cow/ - Lolcows (The Stupidsphere!)

>>181769

why is it in 3d? and why is the 3d all stretched out and fucked up?

>>181777

Turn 3D off in the settings menu. For some reason, the blue and red channels are two completely different frames.

http://www.slutload.com/video/chrischans-sex-tape/XDjg4KnvdT9o/

Chris calls out his half-siblings in the cringeworthy description for this video of… uhh… him playing SUPER SMASH BROS.

>#JosephColeSmithey, #DrDavidAlanChandler, and #CarolSuzanneChandler; This Message for you three. You all have obviously forgotten about your family that y'all should be caring about as well, aside from your own local married families. Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father. There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us. And Cole, OUR Mother is Still Alive; I REALLY want you to make amends and get close, once again, to her before Her time runs out. And as the one sibling that brings you three, Cole, Alan and Carol in connection together as Family; I want us all to reconnect as family. The distance Really bothers me and I have been feeling ill against y'all for not including me and our mother/stepmother to two of you.

>Appreciate Your Families While There is still time.

>Smash / 8-Player Smash

>Smashville

>Mii, Mii, Mii, Mii, Mii, Mii, Mii, Mii

>>181769

Holy shit that was a good Chris video. He has to play with his toys like that a lot.

You guys are slacking, /v/ has a better thread

>>181799

Too bad they're not going to watch his video let alone give him any attention.

Sakurai must be screaming and crying on his bed.

>>181799

This is the kind of stuff that makes me wonder why people defend him, trolls are bad but i don't think defending Chris is good either

I suspect Cole doesn't give two shits about Chris's half-siblings on his father's side and vice versa.

Not that Chris's half-siblings on his father's side seem to more than barely acknowledge Chris's existence; aren't they both a few decades older than Chris? He seems to be more like a distant cousin to them than he is a brother.

>>181817

I imagine if you're a relative of his it probably would be hard to not want to check out his videos once in a blue moon to see what weird bullshit he's up to now.

I also don't get the point of attaching the message to a SUPER SMASH BROS. game play video. Like, what, is he suggesting they all can bond over SSB? The Chandler half-siblings would be, what, mid-50s at the youngest? Possibly even in their 60s by now. Would they even know what SUPER SMASH BROS. is let alone be enticed to play it together with Chris?

(Not that I ever saw the appeal of SUPER SMASH BROS. myself; it always seemed like something that might be fun for a few minutes at a time and only if you're playing with other people but not something with lasting play value, especially for a solo player like myself.)

>>181823

Barb and Bob had three full grown children between them when they had Chris. Three full grown children who hated both of them. The Chandler kids don't have a very good relationship with their father (the daughter didn't attend his funeral) and they hate Barb, probably because she's a sociopathic harpy. Cole notoriously hates his mother and claimed Bob was a Republican cur.

The only child either of them had that remotely cared about just so happened to be retarded. Funny coincidence that.

>>181826

My mom who is in her 60's checks out the yelp page for a relative of hers that she hates. So I could see some family members of similar ages checking out some youtube pages.

Just imagine that relative that is cringing as they're wanting what their autistic relative is up to now, checks what a few of the videos are like, and then sees that message. A message from Miss Christina taking the moral highground as she asks her relatives to come together with her and be family again, underneath a video where she's playing some game for manchildren.

>>181799

I like how Autism is one of his Miis, as if he could beat Autism.

>>181826

You play video games alone? That's so sad.

>>181824

>>181828

You wouldn't have to check up on him, because if you're a relative of Chris and Chris has named you, chances are you've got a few trolls calling you up every once in a while to remind you what a fuck-up your relative is.

It really is no wonder that his siblings, relatives of any kind, try to stay far far away from him. There's nothing there for them. Chris doesn't understand how unenticing 'come and bond with a spoiled entitled manbaby and his insane harpy mother in their pile of shit hoarder home' really sounds.

>>181826

He, most likely, never intended for them to ever read it. He probably just wanted the people watching the video to feel sorry for him.

>>181991

Probable, but Chris does have weird ideas about how the world and certain technologies work. If I remember correctly he used to think that if he said a person's name in a YouTube video, they'd automatically see it.

>>181993

We probably aren't to far away from that being a thing.

>>181831

Are they back in the family home? I figured the damage was repaired by now, but they would have cleaned out all the years of smoke damaged crap, right? I dont think they have filled it back up yet

>>182010

Barb filled up their rental home with crap within six month or however long they were there for. In addition Chris is carrying around his boxes of burnt Legos, so they're not only living in a hoard, they're living in a partially burnt hoard too.

At least it's probably not as dirty as it was when the fire broke out.

>>182041

Why is he still keeping his burnt legos? Is he doing it with other burnt toys too?

>>182076

Yeah, pretty much everything he could salvage

>>182078

How do you know about this?

>>182081

He posted numerous pictures of his smoke damaged Legos last year

>>181769

I'm really impressed with how sturdy those figurines are. Does anyone know what they are made of?

>>182088

Actually, most of them are probably just recoloured sonic figurines.

>>182089

Thats a little disappointing. For a sec there I thought Chris had some talent.

>>182101

>Chris

>Talent in literally anything

The only thing he has been remotely good at is playing Guitar Hero which most people could master if they played it as much as he did

>>182114

I dunno. He's good at fucking up

>>182101

>>182101

It was just a guess. I still don't know how the non-sonichu and non-rosichu (remember: Rosichu and Sonichu are not only the character names, they are also the names of the male and female member of the species) were made, and they also seemed to be able to handle a lot of rough play.

Another video.

>>181991

That's one step too far for Chris' thinking. His intentions are pretty basic when he does things.

>>181822

I think some people plain feel bad because he's just a massive fuckup in every way that they don't realize thats a side-effect of chris being an awful shithead

>>181825

>dat pic

If only he could realize that, but he wont, ever

>>182041

Did anyone figure out what the story was with the Manchester high school Lego video. Specifically how it sounded like people were over at the house other than Chris and barb (who was presumably holding the camera)?

>>181769

>anyone

>buying this shit

if you vbuy this yhou're as bad as chris

>>182417

theoretically nobody should have to spend any money for a while in order to get more comics. that kiwi sperg who gave him a grand funded the sonichu series for a minute or two.

>>182088

>Does anyone know what they are made of?

Crayola Fucking Model Magic!

>>182437

AND ACRYLIC PAINT!

New video.

One more new one for old time's sake.

>>182485

Is that a Devastator in the background at 9 or 10 seconds in? I own that exact same figure.

>>182419

>Kiwisperg

>Having money and a job

Chris having legitimately lost his virginity is more believable than this

>>182500

https://kiwifar.ms/threads/sep-11-2015-chris-gets-1-000-donation-from-a-generous-kiwi.12550/page-12#post-971546

Jump to 20:15 on this video, it happened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeoxjOI5IBo

>>182501

What a fucking loser

>>182523

Did he actually just paste that text over when of the pages of his comic? Or was that a post on his facebook that someone put on the image?

>>182524

That image is what he actually posted to his Facebook. He just took a random page of his comic and photoshopped the words over it, along with a tiny French flag.

>>182527

Jesus.

HOLY FUCKING THE SHIT THE julay FROM THIS FAGGOT IS ENDLESS.

>>182523

I am genuinely surprised he dosen't mention himself or Internet trolls in that wall of text

>>182541

Not sure if you are looking for him to do it in a different context but he definitely mentions "Sonichu, Rosechu, and myself" and then some shit about overcoming villains.

I'm sort of surprised that he didn't mention trolls though. It was a pretty good opportunity to do so.

>>181769

I'm a literal 5 dollar nigga, I can't afford shit. But I do have the Sonichu medallions (does he still sell those?)

>>182082

covered in smoke dust/discolored? oh thats not too bad.

>>182417

We all bought [s]his[/s] her sonichu medallions, remember?

>>182541

>>182606

The people who used to troll him don't do that anymore, I think /cow/ and kiwifarms FORBIDS that now as it's a-logging now. Basically her interactions with her trolls are people just watching from the sides….and giving her money and shit

I think my favorite thing about the Amibo shit is there's still a classic Chris-Chan one. It's nice to know that da good old red white and blue is still remembered.

The question is, does that chris chan still exist in sonichu? will he sex Christine?

>>182657

>Anyone being able to forbid you from trolling someone

lol

>>182523

Ugh this motherfucker can't even get the date right even though it's been all over the news and social media.

Also that comic page is so old. He couldn't even make a new art as tribute.

>>182657

>The people who used to troll him don't do that anymore,

Uh no. There are still people trolling him who have been involved since the beginning, and are the same ones who "forbid" others on Kiwi, PVCC, etc. from contacting Chris because they don't like to share their toys.

>>182230

do you think any one will take him up on it

>>182485

H-has he dyed his hair blue? Is he going to start rambling about how the white male patriarchy is keeping him down soon?

>>182968

>Is there information behind this new ebin troll or is this a genuine ween who's monetizing Chris' ventures?

Considering that this "Francine" is claiming to make $60k a year, I'm gonna have to say it's a troll.

>>>182957

we jimmy hill now

also nice to see cwc is back to his bigoted ways

>>181799

I always forget Chris has siblings. Fuck, I spent a month researching for a podcast on the guy and I only ever knew about smithy.

>>182643

I forgot that he resembled a normal person at some point. now he looks kind of scary. like, if I had kids, I would not want them anywhere near that thing, pedophile or not.

>>182957

I think the funniest thing is that the tranny with the receding hairline is calling out a different tranny for not being passable enough.

>>182968

>>182968

>Is there information behind this new ebin troll or is this a genuine ween who's monetizing Chris' ventures?

Its neither troll nor ween, its literally just someone making a free fangame over sonichu.

>>183020

http://maplechan22.wix.com/cwcadultchronicles

this?

>>183011

His father was old enough to be his grandfather and was previously married. I'd say you could probably guess he had other children even if you didn't know about his son and daughter.

Ok whats this about Chris getting an animal killed?

>>183062

When he was young-ish (maybe a teenager, maybe younger) he was fucking around with the neighbour's cat, ya know just being a retard and not leaving it well alone (we've seen how he interacted with his own cats, lbr), and the neighbour's cat bit him. Barb, being the fantastic mama bear that she is, instead of reprimanding her son for being too rough on an animal, called animal control and had the cat put down. At least that's the story I've heard.

>>183030

lol, that game is literally the only good thing to have ever come out of the Farms

too bad it is made by kiwispergs though

>>183096

That was last year

I apologize if this isn't really the place for this, but I'm not sure what other thread to ask in. what's going on with his court/legal stuff?

>>183140

Holy shit.

I had wondered why all the years I had been following Chris I hadn't heard of this one thing until now.

Barb is the worst.

>>183141

He's on probation

>>182957

Look at the borders of that video — the background is moving! Someone is filming that for Chris. Who would be willing to do that, and what does it say about people like Moviebob and Coffin who can't get someone to do that for them?

>>183151

One of the first things he says right out the gate is that he is holding a "selfie remote", implying he's controlling the recording himself.

Also, seeing as how he got a six month suspended jail term out of his plea bargain, how much further does it have to escalate before he's broken the law? You know, for science.

I hate to sound like a complete newfag, but is/was Chris-chan really one of the biggest online lolcows? I feel like I missed out on something big because it happened before I became familiar with imageboards.

>>183208

>One of the first things he says right out the gate is that he is holding a "selfie remote", implying he's controlling the recording himself.

Whoops. I missed that.

>>183227

Yes, he was. Watch one of the readings of Sonichu.

>>181797

JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

>>181769

>anyone

>buying this shit

Any of you doing that are fucking retarded and would get more value out of signing (back) up to SA.

>>183208

What in the name of fuck is a "selfie remote"?

Okay, I think he just doxxed himself again.

>>181769

good to know the autistic virgin manbaby is still playing with toys for 5 year olds.

>>183271

This is definitely a throwback to old Chris. I like the new direction he's been taking.

>>182670

>>182676

I thought they arent trolling him anymore.

>>183227

>but is/was Chris-chan really one of the biggest online lolcows?

Yes

>I feel like I missed out on something big because it happened before I became familiar with imageboards.

Most of the bullshit was with encyclopedia dramatica, and the channers I think just gawked at the utter clusterfuck it was.

>>183261

We're hipsters. Fuck you :/

>>183271

he has actual copyrights on comics that wouldn't be out of place in a 4th grader's notebook

K E K

E

K

>>183271

how much better would he look with a haircut?

>>183288

not at all. Removing the Ben Franklin won't make him less of an unhygienic ugly fatfuck

>>183227

To give you an idea of how important he was in terms of the history of lolcowology consider the fact that /cow/ was originally called /cwc/. 789chan also had two additional sub-boards dedicated to specific Chris-Chan related discussion (one was for CWC related shitposting and the other for CWC related fiction).

He's pretty much the gateway lolcow for a large percentage of anons.

>>183273

Hey Anthony

>>182500

>job

I've met plenty of retards who coast through life doing stupid shit with mommy and daddy's money.

The losers end up marrying some gold digger who shits out a couple kids then divorces and lives off alimony. The ones who like to party end up dead by 30. And the autistic shut in faggots give thousands to camwhores, patreon SJW's, and in this case CWC.

>>183288

He's officially combing over his balding hairline now.

>>183291

>>183273

JULAAAAY JULAAAAAAAAAAAY

>>183291

>The Ben Franklin

I laugh every time. Someone tell that nigga to get a key on a kite out in a thunderstorm. Franklin, after all, also zapped to the extreme.

Alright, who is the Kiwisperg coaxing Chris making videos daily?

>>183142

Don't worry animal lover, both chris and barb have very special hells coming their way: they give to be themselves forever.

>>183390

Angry Chris is my favorite. Whoever it is, they just seem to be telling him shit and letting him do whatever. Could it be the actual adult chronacles guy rolling with angry emails he's been sent?

There's a lot of shit he 'knows' about JEFF. Seems like he's got a group of people telling him shit.

>>183393

>The year is 2045

>Chris is in his 50s, hasn't made a virtualtube video since the great interactive sonichu battle fiasco of 2039

>People doubt he will come back, neocwcki is starting to loose government funding

>The history channel publishes its thanksgiving special, "The Life and Times of CWC" which is a bunch of aging neocwcki spergs going on about tumblr.com being renamed chrischansanus.com and how it revolutionized the civil rights movement

>Then, a miracle

"Heeey yall… mmmmm I… I hab been hearin' a lotta dang things from dat uh…. HISTORY CHANDEL! MMMMMRRRRHHHHGGG… Ah am a dang trandhumiduns now. Can't ya'll see I hab uploaded muh muh… mmm… brain to da ps21 dere. UGH!"

Also barb is still alive?

>>183395

>The year is 2045

>Chris is in his 50s

Just to be "that guy", Chris would be 63. And Barb would be 103.

>>183399

oh hey, well…

I guess that makes it even better.

Also barb is still alive. The children of the neighborhood still hold up the long standing tradition of fearing the immortal witch and the spirit of boo radley that lives in her house.

>>182957

In one of the court videos, it doesn't appear as if Barb is living towards a long life. She's already looking like a frail 90 year old woman with hip issues, reminiscing of her youth.

>>183390

This is reminiscent of some of the Liquid Chris reply videos, with how speedily Chris is willing to slander and defame his target. There's a bit of nostalgia and it even gives me a shred of hope that he will return to making similar videos more regularly.

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, however Chris appears to be rather fond of the shirt appearing in this video. It's appeared in six videos, and has greasy finger stains on it.

>>183390

Anyone have info on this liquid cristine?

>>183523

Depending on how far this escalates we might want to award this troll title of Solidus. Make it more distinct to avoid confusion with liquid.

>>183401

I think they'd have more to fear from the Cerebus-esque restless spirit of Patti. Probably accompanied by the hungry ghosts of Jenkins Jinkies and other trolls whose souls she has devoured.

>>183030

Is there a way to download the updates for the game, or not? The blog announces new additions to the game, but I can't find a way to download them.

>>182968

For once, Chris is actually doing something to make money by selling shitty custom toys and junk. He probably made more money from those things than Andrew Dobson made in his non-existing art career.

So why is the kiwi faggots actively trying to suprress the fact that Waterman is behind this latest string of CWC videos? Jelly?

>>183778

>Waterman is behind this latest string of CWC videos?

I'd like some details.

Hot off the presses.

Is it really true that Waterman has managed to get Chris to realise that Kim Wilson is a troll?

I always thought Waterman was a bit of a tryhard sperg but if he's managed to fuck up the Foxdicks' shit this badly he's won some of my respect.

>>184165

Is anyone else noticing a strange paralax/warping of the figures relative to the background in the video?

How was this not posted yet?

>>184218

So, uh. That is completely fucking bonkers.

>>183390

How was this not posted yet?

Well I fucked up the last response, but Chris is making an ass of himself again.

>>184750

>Threatens the guy again

It's going to be synder again isn't it.

>>184753

He threatens an unknown Best Buy employee at least twice in the video, and this time he's hardly subtle about it. His paranoia has racked up so far, he's even threatening the employee to contact the Better Business Bureau over a suspicion the "Yellow Shirted Foe" has a job at Gamestop as well.

I do love how he's pulled out the autism excuse again, and finally took advantage of the LGBBBQ aspect of his life, in hopes of inspiring a boycott that will affect a multibillion dollar company to reconsider the ban against one man.

>Those grunts

>Those frowns

>That struggle to form coherent sentences

>Admitting he was at fault for being banned

>Denying it was his fault for being banned

>Multiple contradictions

>Self-absorbed beliefs about his loyal followers

>References MLP

>Bellowing at the end

>Broken Spanish

I even see a potential window to ween Chris by pretending to be a Best Buy employee, claiming he viewed the video, and he's now banned from multiple other stores.

>>184750

Whats with the hippopotamus?

>>183226

It's the nature of autism.

>>184218

"Your boobs are so much bigger than mine, Christine, and you are so much better at sex."

Chris has no fucking clue that the entire apology letter is disrespecting him. It's fucking fantastic.

>tells the guy to "be yourself" after constantly calling him an unconvincing tranny while they were still enemies

Does he sell nudes?

>>184797

when does he say this?

>>184218

>I am truly your greatest fan

>I but a poor homeless loser with aspergers who roams the streets of seattle

sounds like ADF

>>184750

is this the first time he's acknowledged pikachus existence in a video

>>184753

Only a matter of time until he tries to run someone over again

We could probably get chris arrested by showing him threatening the guy in this video.

>>184184

>>184172

You know, I remember telling my friends about Chris-Chan way back in 2009 when we were in 9th grade. We all got a giggle out of it except for one guy who was like, "Don't you think it's horrible these guys are trying to ruin his life? It's kind of creepy that they do so much just to fuck with him."

I'm sure I said some A-Loggish shit about how he deserved it and was worse than Hitler or something, but the more I learn about Kiwifarms and the lengths they're taking this shit, the more I see what my friend meant.

>>185178

Yeah power users like Trashraider and Marvin basically live their whole lives revolving around Chris. It's pathetic to say the least.

And then if other Kiwifarm users try to "troll" Chris then it's dismissed as weening.

I'm wondering if Waterman is pretending to be a lot dumber than he actually is. After all being a lolcow yourself is probably the best way to relate to another lolcow. Either way he's probably having fun generating all that salt over at the 'Farms.

>>185183

The second part is what gets me. Not only have they dedicated their lives to fucking with Chris, but the fact they're so defensive about it.

Like he's their own personal punching bag. Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to moralfag, but "monopolizing" Chris like this is a little much.

I don't remember Kiwifarms being this bad back when I first discovered it.

We update now.

>>184184

>I'M TAKING AWAY UR COCKS LOL XD

fucking hell, the people who want to control chris are 100x more pathetic than chris himself.

>>184792

If you mean what I think you mean, he said something like 'and we'll all be stuck with the hippopotamus weights on our heads', meaning like, a really heavy weight of guilt or something

>>184837

When he kept describing this other guy I thought it must be based on ADF too

I still wonder if its weird that I want to give her a rimjob?

>>185613

>her

yes wanting to give chris a rimjob is gay

>>185667

He's going to go back there, isn't he?

I wonder if this would be considered a violation of his probation?

He's filming everything with cocks aware scaling, isn't he?

>>185695

Oh gawd, I never tire of that wordfilter.

Oh and that music in the background? don't know if creepy or sad.

8 years of chris are gone.

What do we do now?

>>185750

Chris's trolls are nearly as autistic as he is. I'm sure somebody's got them all downloaded.

>>185746

That channel was owned by Kiwispergs, nothing of value was lost.

>>185757

Foxdicks are annoying, yes, but a massive implosion of Chris cocks hurts us all, and hurts generations to come.

>>184834

Did you not sit through the whole reading of the apology letter? You are missing out, buddy.

Skip to 5:23 to hear about the disparity in tit size between Chris and the author of the letter. Although, the funniest part is easily whenever Chris inadvertently reads out something like "I am just a loser with aspergers" or "I am fat and balding." The apology letter is supposed to be about "Francine" but it's clearly about Chris.

>>185781

>Implying anyone but us and Kiwispergs still give a fuck about Chris

>>185757

Actually it was owned by a PVCCer. The owner of it is actually the girl that Cogs sexually harassed.

Source: Former PVCCer

>>185746

I'm sure some other sperg will have another one up within a week. I'm amazed it took this long for that channel to get banned.

>>185754

One of the kiwispergs said he had them all downloaded, because of course they do.

>>185818

still should be archived, i think. it's a peice of internet history. It's like a museum of autism for all parties involved.

Vibrating bra?

>>186097

It literally puts the lotion on its skin. Also, I wonder where else those eggs have been…

>>186077

Most of them seem to have been backed up here

https://archive.org/details/yt-TheCWCvilleLibrary

>>186097

Requesting a webm.

>>186097

>A Christmas choir is heard faintly in the background while a crazy man shoves egg vibrators in his bra and "switches them on full blast."

Fuck dude. I'm so glad he's back.

You also gotta love the inconsistency in Chris' effort to keep his voice feminine. In the previous update >>185282 he just plain forgets to do the girlie voice and it sounds as though the virgin we knew in 2006 is completely unchanged, talking about rallying his imaginary fans for some retarded crusade.

This rage is beautiful. I'm not sure if I'd be happier to hear if the letter is real or fake. Either way, we win.

>>186277

Was this posted by Chris to facebook, or is it from a Kiwi?

That feel when based Rus Rogerson just became the new Michael Snyder.

>>186269

>Attempted "assault," quote-unquote

>>186277

>Assault is not written in quotation marks. He casually pepper-sprayed someone.

>>186269

>If I am imitating any accent, it is purely accidental

>Discriminating against Battletoads

What? Oh man, he's becoming totally unwound.

If I were Rus Rogererson, I'd wait a week and extend the ban to a national one.

>GUESS WHAT the Amiiiboooos, there's still Walmart, there's still Target. So I will not be haltered. The orders on Etsy will continue being honored.

Wait, what? Why does he need Amiibos… oh wait. Oh no. It's because he ships every one of "his" "Amiibos" in an official Nintendo Amiibo box, isn't it? So every one of his sales increases his hoard of plastic crap, costs him like 10 dollars, and further compounds Sonichu's infringement of Nintendo's IP.

>>186325

>Wait, what? Why does he need Amiibos… oh wait. Oh no. It's because he ships every one of "his" "Amiibos" in an official Nintendo Amiibo box, isn't it? So every one of his sales increases his hoard of plastic crap, costs him like 10 dollars, and further compounds Sonichu's infringement of Nintendo's IP.

He just covers real Sonic Amiibos with Crayola FUCKING Magic and acrylic paint. Without the figure he could have make a character with much detail.

>>186269

Why is CWC talking like an indian in that video? Dot, not feather. It's so weird. Its like his voice has lost the plot entirely.

I have the most epic troll plan to support this boycott.

I'm going to give Chris… Ten dollers!

This will sure show him the consequences for being a spaz, amirite?

>>186340

>Looking at the Etsy store, those hands on the Sonichu statue are definitely beyond Chris' abilities.

There was a troll who made vastly superior Sonichu Amiibos. It's quite possible Chris is buying them and then passing them off as his own.

>>186334

Chris has no first language. He speaks English as a second language because he learned it properly very late in his life - but unlike me or any other second language English speaker, he has no first language to fall back to.

>>186347

Does 'tard' count as a language?

So many A-logs in this thread. Chris is autistic. I'm not sure what you were expecting from him, but this is him at his best.

>>186366

>So many A-logs in this thread.

Back to /cwc/

They're not that bad. He's found his niche. After 34 years

>>186334

it's the autistic accent. spergs have a hard time with communication.

>>186410

If an actual rope day ever came, I'd fight tooth and nail to keep this wonder of the world around.

>>186269

Why is he saying BATTLETOADS in a stereotypical asian woman's voice.

And woah, his old self is really showing through again. Did he drop the falsetto completely now, too?

>>186334

Sounds more like an old asian woman tbh.

>>186277

Who's betting they eventually expand the ban to be universal?

>>186445

They won't give a shit. Literally no one is falling for the tardbaby's tranny ruse. He'll revert to old Chris once he gets bored with it or some internet troll tells him "she'd" go out with him if only he was a normal straight male.

>>186448

Chris has explicitly stated that if he ever had to choose between being gay and getting a sex change, he'd go with the sex change.

Plus he's already on hormones. I don't know how it works but I would imagine that being on hormones is a one way street.

>>186448

> Literally no one is falling for the tardbaby's tranny ruse.

And that's what consistently surprises me about all of this. I thought even tumblr, with their blind love for anything LGBT and an autistic community more tribalistic and virulent than /r9k/ on a bad day, I can't believe they haven't swooped in on him at some point or another.

I guess that stands as a testament to Chris's notoriety.

>>186469

Actually you'd be surprised by how atomistic their autistic community is.

Neurodiversity hates everything, even other counterpart leftist movements. Anything that co-opts its persecution complex, specially crafted to justify a specifically autism-exclusive sense of hardship, is basically some kind of neurotypical infiltration in disguise.

Hence, Chris being some kind of aberrosexual might've worked against his favour.

Ask anyone from the now-collapsed Aspies for Freedom if you don't believe me.

>>186453

>Chris has explicitly stated that if he ever had to choose between being gay and getting a sex change, he'd go with the sex change.

He's retarded and says a lot of shit. Very little of it is shit he actually means, he doesn't understand most of the things he says half the time.

>Plus he's already on hormones. I don't know how it works but I would imagine that being on hormones is a one way street.

They're not proper hormones, they're placebos. They're like herbal medicine shit

>>186477

You take a bunch of autists and put them in a room together and what you get is a drag show, and a bunch of conspiracy theories.

>>186494

Would you rather fuck Chris or get a sex change?

>>186494

Nobody actually knows whether or not that is the case.

It's speculated Marvin had assisted Chris with the Indian online pharmacies, which are especially lenient on prescription requirements (read: they don't ask, honestly, it's virtually optional).

And that doesn't take a genius to do.

- t. someone with experience ordering from them

>>186269

Am I correct in assuming he imitates Hitler at about 7:20 and then says that was an accident at 7:25 ?

>>186514

>use their online resources for FUDDA PUTTUSES

I can't even make out what he says, so I'll take your word for it that it's a Hitler impression.

Gotta love the "claw" at 7:16

>>186508

Oh god. Phags growing tits?

>>186514

>>186519

I'm pretty sure he says "further purchases" there.

The thing about imitating an accident I think is referring to him imitating an English accent throughout the video.

>>183006

The Jim Cornette of autism

>>186643

He looks like the tranny that gave Charlie Sheen aids

>>186643

Is he getting fatter?

>>186650

Come on, you already know the answer to that question.

>>186269

he's losing it

sounds like a schizophrenic

Who here has actually played Battletoads?

New video, niggers.

In summary, a Benjamin Franklin look-alike wishes you a happy Hanukkah and asks you to buy him presents. While also begging for money to cover court costs relating to an "incident" of some kind.

Fun game: See how long Chris manages to maintain his tranny voice in each video.

http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/1NBYMDW5KQSWH/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_ws_owDBwb0Z3MPG6

The manchild published his xmas wishlist. How many of you retards and Kiwispergs will buy him all this garbage?

>>187320

>245 dollar lego set

Fuck me. Were they always that expensive? You don't even get that many parts.

>>187306

Replying to myself, but I just realized the "Mighty Lesbian" shirt isn't something Chris wears to impress his fellow SJWs, or even to confirm his identity as a woman, but rather it's merely an updated version of the "WANT WOMAN" sports bra. Something which serves to label him as seeking hoes.

>>187320

A year ago, maybe two years ago, Foxdicks would have absolutely balked at giving Chris any money whatsoever. Now, thanks to a few good retards like DStecks, Chris may very well get everything he wished for this Christmas (except the stuff that's not out, of course)

>>187337

There is no way he's getting 500+ dollars worth of lego plus his court bill paid off, but I would be very amused if he did.

It'd make him overconfident, and reckless. He'd be in jail in no time.

>>187306

I'm loving how at the end of each vid his clicky stopper thing never works. It's a little thing but it's a nice touch.

>>187337

>Chris may very well get everything he wished for this Christmas

No matter how bad this kind of weening gets. he will never get a Girlfriend free girl

>>187556

I dunno. I wouldn't put it past one of the Foxdicks to fuck Chris 'for the lulz'. Marvin did procure him that prostitute, after all.

>>187556

I think in a way it'd be a good Christmas for all of us if this ended in some completely fucking insane 'troll' chick. A real chick, mind. Banging and marrying him and actually sticking with it until they both died of natural causes.

Im-fucking-magine it.

I figured he'd have a PS4 by now. Also figured there'd be sexual deviant shit on the list.

>>187570

I too was expecting some vibes and butt plugs to stimulate his pussy with (and increase the size of his boobies through vibration of course), as well as make-up and clothes to help him transition. Nope, it seems plastic crap is more important.

>>187306

You can just see it in the cat's face.

>>187567

A happy ending would be nice.

>>182957

>Do what makes you, you t-shirt

>gets mad that someone being him is how they do what makes them, them

>>187306

>Fun game: See how long Chris manages to maintain his tranny voice in each video.

wait, he's been trying to change his voice? i never even noticed…

>>187651

"Change" is a big word. He just puts on a girly voice whenever he remembers that he's supposed to be a tranny. Listen to the first few words of the "Thank you, Jeff" video, for example. The part where he says "hello once again" is clearly supposed to be in a woman's voice.

It contrasts really humorously with the regular old Chris monotone you can hear in the "Group Embargo" vid.

>>187567

The world is pretty large, so there should be at least one insane woman with some kind of fetish for helpless overgrown gross children.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the most breathtaking performance our generation will ever have the privilege of witnessing.

>>187698

Friends, that was merely the opening act. Now it's time to lend Christine your ears and be graced by songs of festive cheer. And autism.

>>187698

Ho lee shit that's brilliant

>>187698

He's balding in the back now, too. The tranny transition is complete.

>>187699

>the males who have not had the operation yet

>yet

Careful not to give christina too many donations, xe might mutilate xerself

Anyone know how much money "Christine" make?

How much from his Etsy? His ebay? A job, if he actually got one?

>>187328

I remember as a kid in the late 90s, some kits were easily over a $100. I dont remember if they hit $200+.

>>187791

>A job, if he actually got one?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

>>187791

It just got a major donation 2 months ago IIRC, 4 figures sum.

>>187698

requesting this in webm form

Kudos to the ween for having the courage to make a fool of himself for all of those who will see this video.

>>187816

Embedding because it wants me to sign in. Jump to 4:14.

>>187904

The hero Christine deserves.

>>187816

You forgot this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

>>187918

>>187909

Thank.

Seeing him in these old vids just re-awakens my feelings of pity for him. He reminds me of when I was 8 years old and had no understanding of tact, comedic timing, etcetera. One interpretation of autism is that it lowers your mental age. So, while he's physically like 28, you're actually watching a child ruin his own life. In that context, his current transtrender passion can be explained as a teenage phase.

Another day, another lovely song.

>>188262

Wow, even flat earthers have larger protest groups than this.

>>188262

>>188509

How did you lose enough braincells to get to the point where you believe that Chris' GameStop embargo has sincere supporters? It's a joke, you tards.

Chris is now offering "happy holidays" shout-outs, if you are willing to pay 50 dollars for one.

That's right, only 50 goddamn entire dollarydoos and he'll improvise a shitty 15 second song for you.

Are you rich and pathetic enough?

>>189289

Ambition and autism do not mix well.

Someone should buy these and send them to Stuart Ashen.

>>181797

Why would he record that?

>>189308

In Chris' mind, he created a scenario involving Julie and himself enacting out a beautiful evening together making love and enjoying one another's body. What happened was a troll had fooled Chris into thinking a real life girl had feelings of affection for him, feeding into his ego, and crushing loneliness, to manipulate Chris into creating this awkward, cringe worthy movie for the world to see. And so weens have been shouting out "JULLAAAY JUUUUULLAAAAYYYY" leaving the rest to history.

So, apparently someone is pretending to be a hot girl named Karen Riley and scammed a free holiday greeting video out of Chris.

At least, that's what I have to assume is happening here since Chris says she "doesn't owe him a dime." Nobody would pay 50 bucks for this, right? Any Saudi oil princes here?

>>189289

>>189895

He should have made them $5 each, maybe put it up as a gig on Fiverr. No one is going to pay $50 for his extremely low-effort video greeting, and it costs him absolutely nothing but ~60 seconds of time to create, $5 would still be a decent profit.

>>189936

That's brilliant. You ought to be his financial adviser, anon. He'd have no shortage of business if did one of those "have me read anything" gigs like big man Tyrone. It wouldn't just stop at Christmas.

Ever since he was little (23 or so) he's been placing free advertisements in his comics, whoring himself out to Axe for free. So this would be like a dream come true. Of course, he'd probably be reading out entire pages of "JULAYYY" instead of working with a deodorant company.

>>189985

There is another business of this kind called Asshole Consulting. Send the guy behind a question and if you pay a little extra he makes video about it and posts it Youtube.

>>189936

He already has!

Remember, Giving Chris a 500$ Gift Card is the pinnicle of trolling. Fake Girlfreinds? Old. Calling him gay? Go back to 2010. Sending him money is the NEW way to troll his brains out!

>People actually thinking I am serious and send him money for him to dance around

>>190046

>m-muh trolling

If you care that much, then pose as a hot chick and get him to record another free holiday greeting.

>>190001

brilliant

>>190047

Anyone who believes that giving Chris any amount of money constitutes 'trolling' is a fucking idiot. He might do something to make you laugh in return but in the end, Chris is the one who has the last laugh.

>>190100

I hope you are joking. Giving people gifts is the new trolling revolution.

I just trolled my father by giving him tickets to Star Wars this christmas. You should have seen the look on his face!

>>190100

I don't understand why anyone would be concerned over whether or not we are "adequately trolling" Chris.

I mean, for one thing, he does hilarious shit on his own. No one prompted him to assault the Blue Arms display. Nobody prompted him to write "HeXbox" on Xbone boxes, risking his suspended sentence turning into a real prison sentence.

I also think 5 bucks would be a good deal for a personalized message from Chris. Furthermore, I don't want him to be too destitute to do anything entertaining. If you think that makes me a white knight, maybe you can lick my balls.

>>190679

> I don't want him to be too destitute to do anything entertaining

He gets a monthly government stipend and is therefore A already getting your money and B unlikely to ever be 'destitute' so long as he's got it.

He is also much funnier when he chimps out because people aren't paying him.

>>190693

I'm not USA so I don't know how much he's getting, or whether it's a good amount to live on. But I'm assuming it'll put you on a tight budget, right? Besides that, his house burnt down recently. Him and Snorlax have got to be struggling at least a little bit. Otherwise Chris would never be putting as much effort into peddling his shitty merchandise.

Then again, he is buying sex toys and stuff. Maybe being an unemployed autist means you're set for life no matter what.

I don't think he's ever chimped out because people aren't buying his products. The chimpouts were due to people claiming to be making exorbitant sums from "his" intellectual property.

>>190723

>Otherwise Chris would never be putting as much effort into peddling his shitty merchandise.

He makes more than enough money to live on. He's peddling his shit merchandise because his mother effectively manages the money and leaves him very little to buy toys with.

In any case, I have no sympathy. Bob left them an inheritance, his dying probably paid off the mortgage if it wasn't paid off already and on top of that his dying meant that Chris got an increase on his government stipend. If they're in the hole after all that, it's a hole entirely of their own making. I know a good portion of the inheritance went towards paying the lawyer when Chris and Barb decided they were going to try and run Michael Snyder over. So again, I have no sympathy.

>I don't think he's ever chimped out because people aren't buying his products.

When his eBay listings got taken down and he got banned, he chimped out. When people weren't paying him because he wasn't shipping the merchandise, he chimped out. When there were no takers for his drawings or medallions, he chimped out.

He'll chimp out at the slightest provocation, is it really no surprise that he'll chimp out when people don't buy his stuff?

>>189289

I came here to post this.

We should pool together 50$ and get him to make a video for /cow/ or 8chan in it's entirety

So /cow/girls, who's going?

>>192877

I'm not a girl but I'm feeling very tempted to say that I'm a tranny just to get into this illustrious party and see what kind of trainwreck it turns out to be (that's assuming anybody shows up to begin with)

Also, I would gladly have "sexy time" with Chris just to say I did it.

>>192883

Fuck yeah! The Sonic Totem survived! If there was anything Chris has ever made that I've ever wanted its that fucking thing.

I've always imagined some weird art collector, completely isolated from any kind of media would see it and be driven to tears. 'THE PAIN! THE SORROW! I MUST HAVE IT."

>>192949

This is so painfully 2005 spam it hurts.

Try harder.

>>192959

No, how about you do something, you lazy cunt. I'm gonna have fun.

>>192961

Leave out the google thing as he's going to be triggered by the mention of knowing where he already lives and open Pandora in his little autistic mind.

>>192949

There is a lolcow forum better suited for you, my friend

It's called Kiwi Farms

>>192969

Isn't he back in his old house though, now that it's been rebuilt?

>>192972

Less bitching and whining?

>>192974

I'm not insulting or laughing at you in any way

The spergs over there would hail you as a hero

>>181769

>tfw you actually collect these autism nuggets

>>192975

He's not wrong, you know.

If anyone's actually going to make a legitimate attempt at going, it will be one of them. I dunno whether to commend their bravery or just shake my head.

>>192982

Chris already knows how to spot trolls miles away

>>192983

>Chris already knows how to spot trolls miles away

You're serious? Just recently, he fell for someone claiming to be… what was it… San Francisco's Trans Woman of Color of the Year, and homeless, and making hundreds of thousands of dollars off Sonichu merch.

He threatened them with legal action, and read out the subsequent apology letter in which he was promised a cut of 60k dollarydoos. He's still waiting on the money.

The only reason Chris has been more difficult to troll in past years, is because someone convinced him to become difficult to reach, only use facebook etc. Now that he's reaching out to girls online again, your imagination is the limit.

>>192983

Better? Definitely.

Good? Hardly.

I bet some dedicated kiwi could definitely get through to him if they try hard enough, which we all know one of them will.

>>192893

>>192877

DO IT FAGGOT

>>192949

He is going to just ignore that.

>>192983

>Chris already knows how to spot trolls miles away

No he doesn't. He just ignores shit online now. He still can't tell the difference, but since he ignores online folks (99% of trolls), he doesn't get trolled as easily. There's still a few trolls that got through, though, but I can't spoil anything.

>>192949

>Stefanie

>Not Stefonknee

>Not a attached picture of Stefonknee

>>192984

This, Chris hasn't gotten savvier in the slightest. All he did was apply a blanket belief that nearly anyone who talks to him online must be a troll.

Chris has taken his sleepover invitation down because he was getting too many responses from shemales and such.

>>193880

WOW WOW WOW WHAT A TRANSPHOBIC ASSHOLE ITS 2016 HE CANT DO THAT

>>192877

Anyone happen to download this? Didn't get a chance to watch it.

Alternatively, anyone have pictures of that Sonic totem? Don't think I've seen it before and there isn't an entry on the wiki.

>>193954

Whoops, nevermind. Was still up on the wiki.

And sweet Jesus, that thing is legitimately terrifying.

>>193956

Hotwheels ate my image.

>>193966

That's fucking art.

Follow up to the Seattle guy.

Also counter sleepover party initiated.

>>193959

>when the acid kicks in and you're not going fast anymore

I take it we're using this as a Chris general?

Do you guys think it's even possible to troll Chris without being a ween or A-logger at this point?

>>195041

>Do you guys think it's even possible to troll Chris without being a ween or A-logger at this point?

Only if you're part of that SUPER ELITE CWC TROLLING SQUAD (TM), unfortunately.

>>194016

What video was this? It's gone

Also, new update. Chris officially endorses Mistress Jeff's party, and manages to sound more childish than ever.

"It's totally not a bullshit imitation of my party :c"

>>195041

>Do you guys think it's even possible to troll Chris without being a ween or A-logger at this point?

Not without being called a ween or A-Log, no. But who cares what other people think. Practically, I'm sure there is a way to get to him.

>>195141

Pretty much Jim just bitching about Jeff not paying him the money yet, also bitched about the sleep over. Nothing absurdly coherent.

>>195181

Pretty great!

>>193959

Did that thing melt in the fire?

>>195322

Good question. It could very well have been born hideous, since Chris has the motor coordination of a toddler.

If I lived on your continent, I would be terrified that he'd drive into me tbh.

It's weird that people (i.e. Canine, Alec and a few sad hangers on) are still doing these ridiculous sagas.

It's like the Simpsons running for season after season, getting more ridiculous and less entertaining every year.

Someone needs to cancel the Chris show.

A positive contribution would be to edit his old videos into longer videos with a narrative that people can follow. But no one with enough talent to turn that mess into coherent stories would ever do it, since the only incentive is internet admiration from the world's most pathetic people. The only people who dedicate significant amounts of their time and energy to Chris are empty shells like Canine and paralyzed cripples like Alec Benson Leary.

>>195685

Alec's still trolling him?

>>195738

Yeah. Cripple Benson Leary is heavily involved with all this Jeff stuff.

Just a way for a pathetic man in a wheelchair to feel powerful.

>>196442

So who is Jeff, exactly? Kinda out of the loop. Another Clyde Cash-esque character?

New video

Chris says it will take him until the end of the week to clean his car off.

>>196445

It's sort of like Asperchu with a splash of Liquid Chris.

>>196442

Why is it these people who obsessively troll Chris inevitably end up just as bad as him? I'm glad Solid Chris or whatever he was called hasn't showed back up and just let it all drop when he was done.

>>196622

Liquid chris. "Solid chris" is the real chris.

IDK, I guess people are trying to use christory as a springboard for their own e-fame career

What happened to Thorg?