/cow/ - Lolpigs

Vomit inducing? What kid of pansy are you?

Anyways, try John Flynt, or Hayden Black.

Watch an idiot abroad on netflix. It's basically a series that follows a soft very likable lolpig around as he travels the world. It's documentary.

>>202663

I'll second John Flynt (aka Brianna Wu) and Hayden Black. Also try DarkSydePhil who's a ragey incompetent LetsPlaytard, and Gloria Tesch, a homeschooled bimbo who wrote a terrible series of fantasy novels as a teenager.

>>202663

David Willis/Walky? Dobson?

Most crazy SJW types should work, as their cognitive dissonance alone makes them a pig without anything getting too gross.

Common Filth's Youtube channel should fit the bill.

It's highly focused on degenerate millennial tumblr culture, but I can't think of anything else that isn't nausea inducing.

Does Terry A. Davis count?

>>202663

Try cindybin2001 shes some religious nut who thinks her dolls are her children.

Bitch goes shopping with em and her husband is (understandibly) ashamed and tries to hide his face when she wants to film him and her "children".

She hates on every video remotely connected to weed and does that in all caps.

Sadly its the same shit over and over just rephrased and im suspecting a troll behind it but shes been active so many years.

She is

a) retarded and bored

b) a troll that cant let go of the same joke

Sherwin Stern is a classic. Hundreds of videos of him yelling into the camera about stupid shit like how people think that he's gay because he's a "ga(y)mer" or how all anime except Naruto is stupid (he's half right) and so on and so forth. One of my favorite things about him is that he used to be a spergy liberal. Now he's an even more spergy conservative.

Tamers12345 is cool, but could be considered perverted. There's a lot of fetish stuff and sexualized Sonic characters, but it's so silly and fun that it barely even registers as sexual.

James Jackson, a mental patient who believes himself to be the top martial artist in America as well as an incarnation of the Egyptian god Heru and who regularly rants against feminists, gays, freemasons, and psychiatry, admittedly keeps himself in great physical shape.

Like, I'm sure he could kick my ass in a fight, but I make no pretensions of being a serious martial artist.

https://youtu.be/9of5V-Vmfi4

>>202736

Why is a nigger dressed like Chow Yun-Fat?

>>202737

Because he's a dead serious martial artist, and, because of that, he thinks everybody else should look up to him as the greatest hero who has ever lived in America.

>>202736

I could probably cripple him for life with little issue, but that's just real training vs what he's doing. What's more modern martial arts includes guns. Martial art means military, hence the martial. So the deadliest would be probably be a member of seal team six or the Israeli special forces. Sports wise using legal moves pretty much any experienced fighter could smoke this guy. He's playing with swords and crap, it's the 21st century. I don't even see a video of him using a meteor hammer, which if concealed in the form of say a small sack full of buckshot tied to a long rope up his sleeve could easily kill a man through concussive force. Old assassins weapon. Nothing he does translates to anything modern or useful. He might outlive you because of the cardio, but he's not that dangerous.

>>202738

If this guy can perform a Kahemahameha wave or destroy a giant robot on foot, then maybe I'll take this nigger seriously.

>>202667

>Karl Pilkington

>Lolpig

Karl is more of an eccentric like Ullillillia or Daniel Johnston than a fullblown lolpig

He literally got pushed into the limelight by Ricky Gervais

>>202746

>this whole post

Can practically guarantee you're some doughy faggot that learned 'krav maga' in a strip mall.

>>202832

Meteor hammer is a Chinese weapon. Possibly the hardest weapon to learn. People who learn to fight in strip malls wouldn't know what one is. I started with tkd when I was young and progressed through a lot of different martial arts. Mostly sport. Some military stuff leaked in over the years. If you want to win a street fight just use everything that's illegal in sport. You can break someone's pelvis with your femur, stomp their patella off, gauge them blind with your thumbs, the list is virtually endless. If it's illegal in sport. All that stuff is illegal for good reasons. My point is that he's waving around a wooden sword and it's the 21st century. You can't get very far in a killing spree with a katana and bow and arrow when the cops have sniper rifles and civilians have hand guns. He's not that scary.

>>202827

Well that would make him a soft core one. He is accidentally funny as hell, but you won't feel sick watching him.

>>202834

I honestly think that he believes, should he ever attempt to go on a rampage (and he frequently drops not-so-subtle hints that Masonic temples in the San Jose area are a primary target for him), people, including law enforcement and private security, would respect martial arts codes and only fight him either bare-fisted or with traditional martial arts weapons of his choosing. Because "honor".

>>202836

Traditional would include meteor hammers, arrows and chakram. He'd be dead in seconds. There are all sorts of ancient nasties which he's probably never heard of. Many of which are range weapons. So running in with a sword would still be death. Guns make killing easy, but they aren't the original weapons of mass murder.

https://youtu.be/P-jgvz1g7To

>>202666

>>202679

>Mr.Wu not being gross

Someone post his edgy pics and the one he is in full tranny-mode with an azn dressed as a cherub

>>202834

>>202837

Wait, meteor hammer, chakram are actual weapons tan can be used in real life? I thought it was pure fantasy.

>>202736

>incarnation of the Egyptian god Heru

WE

WUZ

KANGZ

N

SHEEEEEIIIT

>>202856

They both actually racked up pretty high scores in history. The meteor hammer was the Chinese equivalent of the type of sling shot that you swing above your head, only with a heavier ball that could be retrieved by pulling on the rope after smashed the skull wide open and the chakra can actually decapitate you from a distance and the smaller wrist ones can be used defensively as well as offensively and not just when thrown. Its a round knife. You can seriously mess someone up with a round knife. Especially around the face and throat. It was a staple of the Indian army, and thats why India got so huge. Nasty things, but they take a lot of practice and you can carry a lot more hand gun and rifle ammunition and those go further.

Fantasy is the flying guillotine and deadly throwing stars. Throwing stars hurt but they are rarely lethal. Those are more for distracting an enemy while escaping. They're actually really stupid compared to a hollowed out egg filled Sith ground glass. The ancient Japanese equivelent of mace. Crush it in your hand and toss the powder in the persons face. The Romans had incendiary grenades made of clay. There have been lower tech equivalents of everything you can think of. People are very creative.

>>202859

Oh yeah, the guy is a big believer in all whitey-stole-science-from-Africa conspiracy theories.

Also, yellowy-stole-martial-arts-from-Africa too.

https://youtu.be/_QBLkvHsx9c

https://youtu.be/2Mtr9m94rnM

https://youtu.be/-OBYuK4BQAE

>>202883

Actually he's right in a way. The progression of martial arts as we know them started in Greece and Africa. The two uniquely different styles met in Egypt and got fed back into India, from there they spread to China, then the Filipinos and Ryukyu, which was it's own country. From there it spread to Japan, and Korea. I might have some of this timeline wrong, but I do know that it spread to China from India after Greek martial arts combined with african in Egypt. That's Asian martial arts for you. Half European, half African. Prior to that it was way different. More spear throwing, and the swords were short and almost it was all about brute force. One famous weapon was nothing but a metal staff with a claw shaped end.

But to forget the Greek contribution is hilarious folly. Almost as bad as forgetting the African contribution. There is a tribe in Africa which has never been conquered, and it has a brutal fighting style using weapons from the iron age. The Greek contribution never reached them. They beat men with guns with spears and a sort of two sides throwing axe by hiding in the tall grass. They have a fierce hand to hand style. All of Africa was afraid of them well into this century. Scary people. Modern medicine agriculture finally drew them out. The last of the savages.

Sorry for the sperg post. It's just that he's not entirely wrong. African martial arts definitely contributed to Asian. That's just history. Asia is where the martial arts of Europe and Africa converged.

>>202943

I wouldn't dispute that Africa has its own martial arts, I just think "martial arts" is a vaguely-defined concept that easily could have occurred independently in multiple parts of the world, just like how Mayans built their own pyramids without any influence from Egypt.

>>202943

Don't trigger /pol/, please.

>>202950

But the progression of specific moves weapons and styles did start from Africa. Look at the weighted sword, the hooked spear and other African weapons which the Nubians introduced to the Egyptions who in turn introduced them to the Greeks, which in turn saw their introduction into India. A lot of unique weapons were developed in India and China during the bronze age up but the progression started in Africa for many of these. Some in Europe as well. I can only name three truly unique Asian weapons, and only two of those advancements specifically went back into Europe and led to modern weapons. The crossbow trigger mechanism, and the cannon, which combined into the modern firearm. Which I'll admit is a big deal. The arrow design though came out of African spear design. It's much different than the macro point spears which led to the native American arrows.

So Africa contributed a lot to warfare and martial arts. A lot of the modern grecko Roman wrestling moved actually started in Africa. They bear no relation to pancration.

Deal with it, /pol/

>>202972

And African sword design specifically led to Korean sword design which combined the curved edge swords of Africa with the metal working of the Philippines. This fed in Japan which refined them eventually into the katana. Which is why on a historical timeline the katana isn't that old. It's design doesn't come around until well after the iron age. So all you weebs have been swinging around something that really owes it's existence to Africa and the Philippines.

>>202972

Japanese weapons before the influence of Africa were mostly clubs and throwing stones. Chinese weapons were all short heavy and brute force. The martial arts of the time was running at each other and swinging heavy objects and throwing heavy objects at each other. The biggest advancement was trying rope to heavy objects so you could retrieve them afterwards. A legion of fighters would literally chuck metal balls with spikes attached to them at each other or if they were smart they would swirly them above their head and release them. It was only a step above the sling shots of biblical times, if that. It's not even bow and arrow tier. Their swords were essentially heavy machetes. It was all throwing stuff and hacking. Like Africa now… Ok that place regressed.

>>202972

>>202976

>>202990

WE WAZ NIJAS AND SHEET

>>203000

Ninjas weren't allowed to carry katana, only samurai. The ninjas used improvised weapons. Also prior to like the Edo period ninjitsu wasn't much of a thing. It was just attacking people with improvised weapons. Aiki-jūjutsu didn't even exist yet. The hand to hand stuff we see today really was influenced by the martial arts that sailors brought with them. Chinese and Filipino ones mostly. Filipino boxing and Chinese foot work and grappling. You couldn't even use a lot of this stuff wearing samurai armor. The reason why a katana has the handle shape it does and the length of the handle is due to how difficult it was to actually put both hand together close to your body while wearing the armor.

>>203007

You say some pretty interesting stuff. Tell me more, please

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0fqs0YBlh0

>>203063

The unconquered Zande hold outs. Their empire shrunk due to internal conflict and invasion but in the bushes they remained a gorilla force that held ground not ever technically conquered. They had convinced Europeans and other local tribes that they were cannibals amongst other things. Mostly to be left alone. When Europeans did try to wipe them out due to the rumors they met unfortunate ends. Even the warlords were weary of them. So they remained an isolated hold out, until fairly recently. Modern medicine and trade finally did the trick. That and people realizing that they never actually ate people. They fear the diseases associated with cannibalism and it's actually a great taboo in their culture. Upon discovering that war lords in the Congo were actually eating people they were disgusted and afraid. They had made an entire reputation based on cannibalism, because it was a great taboo in Africa. Just as I'm sure the Ojibawa with their myth of the windigo would be absolutely shocked if they ever encountered the Inca or Mayan empires which based their culture and religion on human sacrifice and cannibalism.

Anyway the last of the tribe eventually just folded in to modern African culture, in good part do to white missionaries with projectors, food and medicine. They weren't actually savages, they just could defend themselves and were isolationist left over from the fall of an empire. Like if America fell and hillbillies remained unconquered out in the woods for a couple hundred years, and convinced the invading government that they are people. All hills have eyes.

>>203068

>they remained a gorilla force

I see what you did there.

Dakarikingmykan, I suppose.

>>202667

Not everything he says is wrong, y'know. Ricky laughs at him and makes fun of him when he makes completely valid points sometimes, albeit poorly articulated because he only grasps the core concept. He's an entertaining guy though, and I suppose one could congratulate him for sticking to his guns about what he enjoys and doesn't enjoy.

>>203085

Making him the ultimate soft lolpig. If that's what you are after. He's not someone you julay to death, but when pressed he says accidentally hilarious things. He's not particularly self aware and listening to or watching him is incredibly enjoyable. Best part is that there is zero chance of trolls remorse and he has great hygiene.

>>202746

>I could totally beat up that crazy guy.

you are a shit person.

you have a shit personality.

I dunno if it's insecurity or what but seriously dude who cares?

Jace Connors was good…