How the fuck was Chris able to sell this for $1500? Who bought it? What will they do with the Totem? Will Chris ever make those new pages?
>Some foxdicksperg really bought the fucking totem
I would pretend to be surprised but that's impossible
What annoyed me was him using a chunk of the sales to buy a gold necklace for Barb.
Not a new opinion, but she really has made his life worse. It's such an ugly necklace too.
Does Barb even wear jewelry?
The necklace is probably for him
Didn't Barb pawn a necklace off and Chris got it back to her, or got a replacement instead? I can't see Chris being into serious jewelry given his fashion tastes.
>yfw they timestamp it and upload it somewhere
It's only a matter of when
In his latest infomercial for his childhood stamp collection he mentions that he bought her a "replacement" for the one she pawned, and that since he spent $800 on it he's going to be hard pressed to pay the next mortgage payment. Ergo you need to buy the stamps NOW NOW NOW!
anyone of that screencap of chris PLEASE STOP TROLLING BRITBONG, HIS PARENTS ARE BEATING HIM AND HE WON'T STOP SCREAMING AT US IN DISCORDing null?
Just out of curiosity, how much do you guys see yourself in Chris? I know most of us aren't that bad, but there's bound to be some stuff you have in common with Chris.
>Lonely, depressed about being single
>Waste a good amount of cash on videogames I might not play (Not to a point where I'm financially fucked for doing so like Chris, but still)
>Was raised by parents who just didn't give a fuck
We all have some elements of Chris. Like or not, it's very likely that there is a much incidence of autism on imageboards (and of course foxdick) then there is in the general population. There are also probably a much higher proportion of NEETs too than the general population.
We rag on people like A-Log for good reason, but there is a damn good reason why about every other comment about Chris on the wider Internet is some variation of "CWC gives (insert here) a bad name!"
People pay more attention to things they connect with.
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What the fuck…
a minute in and it's already uncomfortable
>"I'll give you $2 for it
>"i shoved da udder medallion up muh…a-hole…"
And how has he never heard of black lives matter
Well maybe you should PLEASE STOP TROLLING BRITBONG, HIS PARENTS ARE BEATING HIM AND HE WON'T STOP SCREAMING AT US IN DISCORD
I don't like /cow/ really, but HOLY FUCK
SOME AUTISTIC FAGGOT WAS AUTISTIC ENOUGH TO BUY THIS?<
>How has he never heard of Black Lives Matter?
He's a shut-in, autistic and has no interest in the outside world beyond his comfort zone.
He could tell you the name of every street in Cwcville, but he couldn't name a single celebrity unless they had an entire episode of Family Guy dedicated to them.
Where are you from?
What do you mean? Internet or geologically speaking?
He seems like he's learning.
Everyone is a lolcow on the inside; all that separates us from real lolcows is our ability to suppress our autistic tendencies.
I'm surprised he agreed to this.
which board. not trying to argue, just curious
As much as i would like to say i am not surprised by the fact he bought a fucking gold necklace to Barb after he keeps begging for more money while burning donations on toys and games, I just can't believe he is this bad with money to not know where his priorities should lie. He's what? 35 now? Still living with his mom. No job experience at all or life experience for that matter with a gaping wound for a vagina. Once Barb kicks the bucket, it's over for him.
Eh, to be honest I can't make fun of him for getting a present for his mom.
That's not the point. The thing is that like it or not, life expenses like bills and such should take priority over bling and vidya and Chris doesn't realize that. He is the only breadwinner of the house aside from welfare. It's just a matter of time until he runs out of shit to sell and his laziness takes the better of him and everything falls apart.
It's autistic furfags. If they will buy some generic Redbull copy drink that costs $5 bucks someone will pay for a a shitty totem that looks like it was made by a 3rd Grader. Just remember a majority of furfags have extremely shit tastes like this.
I for one would like to know geologically.
>I can't make fun of him for getting a present for his mom.
That's one thing, him buying it when he can't afford it is another thing. Considering he's always begging for cash, you'd think he'd prioritize what he should get.
He watches Family Guy? I thought he was way too childish to enjoy the sexual and violent themes in that show. Also American Dad is better.
Holy shit, that fucking letter to Seth.
>He hasn't studied the lore on Cwcki
>He hasn't watched/read the transcript for every single Chris video from 2007-2012 and beyond
>He hasn't read every issue of Sonichu, including the original and revised versions and the secret lost Ivy/Chris special
Get on my level, newbie.
Family guy has a childish sense of humor, just because it has sex jokes and violence doesn't mean it's mature in any way. Chris drew sexual acts in his sonichu comics, so it's not like boning is a foreign concept to him.
Is the CWCki down for anyone else?
Are you 16 years old?
Besides being a sonic fan when I was a kid I have nothing in common with this sperg. I actually wished I was in his position (not now but at birth) given that I was born in a second-world craptastic country full of assholes with no prospects of progress unless you have friends in high places.
>inb4 just immigrate to the states
Can't, already hired a lawyer, can't apply unless I'm the son or brother of a murrican. My only option is to become a millionaire and outright buy a visa like chinks do or marry a really desperate murrican grill who wont screw me over and call ICE on my (believe it or not) white ass
Would this country be Argentina by any chance, fellow white?
>Get retarded amount of money for worthless eyesore
>Immediately spend the majority of it on buying lipstick for your mother/pig
Barb will totally benefit from a shiny collar as she slowly decays in a house full of garbage. Wew lad.
Someone on foxdickfarms actually fucking bought Chris' Megatron Pistol for 50 bucks.
https://foxdickfarms.isPLEASE STOP TROLLING BRITBONG, HIS PARENTS ARE BEATING HIM AND HE WON'T STOP SCREAMING AT US IN DISCORDs/fate-of-the-megatron-pistol.29952/
I forgot about the wordfilter.
>tfw not comparable to a lolcow
>failure at university, don't know what I want to do with my life anymore
>no job, which means no money
>dad is slowly dying
So that explains why he wanted someone to buy him another one. I thought it was lost in the fire, but good to see it made it.
>Plenty of chances to Win, so shop now!
I don't know that blowing money on Chris' stamp collection can be considered winning by any stretch of the imagination. Furthermore it seems obvious that Chris doesn't have an understanding of how contests work.
Which begs to wonder how fully aware is chris about how a contest works given he lost his shit when he didn't win the Parappa the Rapper contest in order to try and bone Megan. It's like he expects to win everytime because muh autism <hidden> which is always the first thing he announces when he introduces himself. </hidden>
NEET in my 30s
Never had a real gf or even kissed a girl
Spend most of my days in my room playing vidya
However while have drawn my own comics I don't pretend that that they are completely original since they have Sonic as a character in them (see above). Honestly I worry sometimes that Chris will give Sonic a bad name if he gets too mainstream.
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Is she wearing it in this?
==Terrifying New Begging Video== by the way
wtf is this shit?
What the fuck is she doing
why is she talking to weirdly
I think we've just reached the point that Barb is so senile and fragile that the power dynamic has shifted.
Well, I'd never do it in public, but wearing panties and a skirt and other girls clothes is a turn on for me.
I almost, almost wish we had tracking on Barb's purchases like Chirs' so we'd know just how much and with what she's rolling up her katamari while enabling her son's begging.
>I detest the homos very strongly
holy shit, she's doomed!
>"Chris just spent all the totem money on a necklace and video games. pls gibe more mones DD:"
I'm all those things and an autistic obsession with a fictional character.
Except the depressed about being single thing I'm pretty happy about it because I'm unhinged and retreat to imagination to fill the void.
I've experimented with wearing ladies undergarments but nothing on the outside like Chris does.
OK, that's it, there is no way that's Barb. She's dead and Chris has a bunch of wires and air pipes attached to her to make her move and speak.
Barb is the Whisperer in Darkness
What's with the music?
it's on all his streams. Probably a default playstation thing
>Was really into Sonic when I was a kid
>Loved the games
>Read the Archie Sonic comics
>Watched SatAM and Adventures of Sonic
>30 years old now
>Live at home
>Never been in a relationship before
>Spend alot of time playing vidya
>Dad called me out on my shit
>He had this "aura" to him that always made me feel uncomfortable
>He passed away almost a decade ago
>Was relieved when he passed away
>Now feel loose and comfortable 24/7 instead of only when hes not home
zombie barb in the background
After seeing this stream, the last begging video and so on, do something happen to Barb that made her act more open to CWC and him begging people online? Or has she always been someone who is manipulative for a goal?
Once retards started sending him money, she seemed to realize it was the easiest way to get more cash flow. This isn't the first video she's "starred" in though.
I don't think she's ever had a whole lot of screentime before now and the little she had wasn't enough to really build a profile of her. When she was still a big fat bitch she didn't have enough energy to get off the sofa much less talk to a camera/walk in on videos.
Does anyone know the circumstances of her weight loss? It's quite the transformation honestly, it's a pity it's only happening now at the tail end of her life.
Barb has threatened to kill herself over her hoard. Yeah, I'm going to say she's manipulative.
Are Chris and Barb fucking?
>Does anyone know the circumstances of her weight loss?
So is Barb dying or no?
If she is, I'm kind of worried for Chris now.
>that eerie feel when you realize barb is at least as detached from reality as chris
She seems really out of it and her body language is just weird. I wonder is she's on some kind of medication
>So is Barb dying or no?
If /cow/ had been around 10-15 years ago, I'd probably have been posted about regularly. I gre out of my autism, though. Either that or I learned to hide it. Now I'm just a run of the mill loser.
Haven't watched the video but I've never seen or heard anything about Chris getting bad vibes/a bad 'aura' from Bob. But it would be damn fascinating if true, because that would mean Bob just REEKED of the harsh reality that Chris avoids like the plague.
That wasn't about Chris, for some reason these autistic retards in this thread decided to forego concealing their power level. It appears the rest of us are ignoring it but it's pretty fucking horrifying tbh
>doesn't use his girl voice in the interview
is that him trying to tell us true and honest fans that he knows this interviewer is trying to play him?
didn't see any amethyst rings either…
Either way, a nice change to hear the real CWC again
It's creepy how much she sounds like Chris. Now that I think about it Chris probably got his mannerisms from her.
A lot of these trannies just straight up give up on doing some stuff to try to pass. Cosmo sometimes forgets to use his girl voice too, you can find a lot of clips of him doing weird shit on stream and he talks like a man.
My pops alive and i also get a lot of tension when he's home. I know im a disappointment to him.
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delete this, just avoiding login. but it is kind of cow related
There's some sort of stream going on his channel
>darn ol trump
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It's some kind of self react to SNL? There's a loud ass cricket in his house that is overwhelming everything else.
He's acting like an actor playing Trump is the real deal. He probably can't tell the difference
>Chris can sell his useless shit for $1500 to his retarded fans
>Cole Smithey can't even get someone to pay $200 to have beer with him
Holy shit, Chris is more successful and famous than Cole
>Chris cannot tell the difference between Trump and an impersonator on SNL
>He thinks the SNL sketch is a real speech
That boy ain't right, I tell you what.
>Honestly I worry sometimes that Chris will give Sonic a bad name if he gets too mainstream
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It's a good example of Chris taking jokes literally and failing to understand satire due to his autism. He's been blowing a fuckton of raspberries whenever someone says something nice about Pmurt and screams "DONALD TRAMP!" when there is satire making jabs at Pmurt.
It's just CWC trying to sound feminine and not realizing he's imitating how old ladies talk instead of women in their 30s.
They have spooned before apparently.
Apparently CWC spent half of the $1,000.00 he got from DStechs to make Sonichu comics on a new bed of his own because Barb kicked him out of hers for failing to spoon right.
I guess since he's socially isolated his primary influence is Barb.
Should we tell him the fanbase at large gave itself a bad name, even before Chris became a thing people talked about?
>Lonely, single, virgin
>College graduate, but no work because of the recession
>Take care of my mom's home so I'm not a mooch
But on the plus side
… while dressed like he remembers teenagers in the 1990s.
Terms like "gal pals" always seemed like things he probably learned from Barb
>But on the plus side
Gj anon. I'm a fatty myself. May go on a statin if my parents agree to pay for it.
Oh for fucks sake you can literally hear Chris say ACTION at the start of the video. This is terrifying.
The hoard hungers for Chris…
The only thing more painful than watching Chris react to SNL for and hour and a half would be watching Anthony LoGatto react to Chris reacting to SNL for an hour and a half.
if you're going to fuck your mother you might as well do it right
Fair enough, anon.
A new bed when he doesn't have one of his own is one of the few things Chris was right to spend his money on
Especially since his old bed smelled of smoke and incontinence.
I guess Chris was called a motherfucker one too many times and said to himself, "I'll show you who's a motherfucker!"
i still think chris should be aiming for tranny pornstar status. it's an easy way to make money, get china, and there will always be strung out girls with decent looks who will be willing to do anything for their fix.
nobody is going to want porn of a greasy, incontinent and fat manchild, anon
I get where you're coming from but this is Chris we are talking about. If a porn studio signed Chris I guarantee it would cause a viral internet moment.
If there's one thing the internet doesn't have enough of, it's Chris Chan sex videos.
I know you're kidding but imagine the lulz to be found in watching tranny chris awkwardly sex up some D list porn star who is just trying to get through the scene before her withdrawals flare up again.
>tfw anons in the thread end up being more irritating than the cow
>bethesda dialogue sample.mp4
Congratulations, you're gay. Sign up for some electro-shock therapy.
That "aura" is disappointment in the fact that you're a complete and utter failure in life. Get a job, leave sanic shit behind, move out, get a woman, have kids, and maybe you'll be better.
MKULTRA brainwashing mechanic, don't listen to it too long or it will start affecting you.
Stop being one.
Or just get a job and go on a diet instead of stuffing your face with 6000 calories of burgers a day and hoping magic drugs will fix it.
Apparently his cat kept getting stuck in the hoard during the stream and instead of cleaning it up or doing anything about it, he kept screaming at the cat to not explore the house hulk.
At a geometric rate?
Is it all that surprising that animal neglect is probably more common then we think in this house? Chris should stream 24/7 in his house for people to pay for a subscription. He already has an audience of foxdicks who would pay gladly for something like that. He could assure a somewhat frequent income but as usual, it would be too much effort to set up because the camera equipment wouldnt be made of legos.
>Congratulations, you're gay. Sign up for some electro-shock therapy.
I never said if I liked dick, not that you're wrong of course.
Looks like the early stages of dementia.
Are you literally Chris Chan?
WHY IN THE NAME OF UNHOLY GOD FUCK DO PEOPLE KEEP ENABLING THIS THING?
Chris did and does literally nothing wrong.
He shits his pants and does nothing wrong
Chris would probably throw a towel on the camera only remember to remove it when he had an announcement to make.
>Is it all that surprising that animal neglect is probably more common then we think in this house?
Not really, considering that last year he got charged with failing to get his dogs the proper tags and medical checkups that they required by law. In addition whenever he interacts with his pets such as the cats you can see that they clearly get upset whenever he interacts with them to the point where Chris thinks cats hiss as a normal interaction.
So did anyone post the totem yet on /v/?
One of his cats was also killed when he burned his fucking house down
>Honestly I worry sometimes that Chris will give Sonic a bad name if he gets too mainstream.
That ship has long sailed.
Most of his other cats are MIA and have died/ran away, it's why despite having seven cats we only know of 3 being alive and the 1 dead in the house fire.
Man, this is making me depressed. Animal and Child troll makes me depressed,.
Anyway, is it true Chris is fucking his mom?
Chris has spooned his mom before which is the reason why he ended up buying himself a new bed. Unsure how much else he's done with her.
At the very least it's safe to assume Chris jacked it while lying next to his mom in bed.
What did he mean by this?
Obviously he's trying to hex Pmurt.
He means "I am in great pain, please help me"
barb actually has chris run errands for her? she's degenerating pretty fast. what's teh name of his twitch channel? i wanna follow it
I can definitely tell you it's the stages of dementia. I know because my grandmother bless her soul had it. But to this woman's case it's pretty fucking bad. I dunno what meds she's taking but it's seriously fucking her up.
Are you trying to cause mass suicide as I can tell you that is what's going to happen.
He's trying to sell old Sonichu art again. Hopefully no dumbass buys.
Forgot to attach the close up. You can actually ID the type of mold colonies at this resolution.
You know that some ween is still going to legit drop $3,000 for that shirt.
Lowest fucking bid is 12 grand though.
Holy shit, I'm more retarded than Chris is for thinking he can sell that shirt for what it costs to get a 2015 Civic.
>For a generic Rugby shirt
>That he bought for under $1 at the thrift store
yeah but it's not like it has been sitting in a damp garbage bag for two years though to be honest
CWC is essentially a nostalgia brand for 25-30 year olds at this point, which is why he can sell old art projects for thousands of bucks and count on donations from fans. He's literally not producing anything new, to boot.
If you want to give him ego death, make him realize this.
If he hadn't bought that necklace that would have taken care of a third of his debt.
So let me get this straight, this shirt has been in a damp garbage bag full of dirty laundry for three years? I'm sure this shirt qualifies as a biological weapon by now.
>30,000$ for Patti's bones
>60,000$ for a Tomgirl duck in formalin
>100,000$ for Barb, dead or alive
This is what happens when you encourage chris by buying his shit
It makes him think he can get away with selling useless crap for ridiculous amounts of money and then waste probably 2/3 of it on crap like legos
I think it's finnish.
1. buy the shirt
2. scrape old cum off it
3. make a male and female clone
4. raise the male clone to be an intelligent young man who grows up to be a successful writer
5. raise the girl clone to be a beautiful entertainer
6. make chris aware that they exists and how much better than him they are because they aren't homo's like he is
7. trick chris into thinking the clones will be his new family that will love andtake care of him
8. press the button on my keychain that causes the clones to liquify
Yeah you got me, it fucking sucks here
You a grill by any chance?
No, but if you're really wanting to look better than your peers, try to hook up with a Venezuelan woman. Most beautiful women on the planet and now that their country has run out of other people's money, even a 350-pound autist in Argentina looks like a king if he's employed.
>Hopefully no dumbass buys.
The fact that someone bought the totem tells me someone will buy this shit from him. Probably the same person too.
>even a 350-pound autist in Argentina looks like a king if he's employed.
Not nearly that fat bro, and most of those hot venezuelan womyn had tons of surgery done
Besides the point is I want to get out of here not just get laid
It grows in power. Near death, the hoard regenerates it from its long dark coma of mold, smoke and rat feces. Somewhere in the wreckage of the hoard the amyfist ring and current medallion are glowing like the crystal shard from Superman. Will the Son of Bob-El don the sacred items and save humanity from the homos?
I'm pretty sure that $12000 bid is just a troll. He may have been able to sell the sonic totem for $1500, but nobody would actually pay that much for his ripped shirt. That said, he could probably get $2000 for it from the right sperg
>I'm pretty sure that $12000 bid is just a troll
That was the starting bid. He wants at least $12,000 for it.
The subsequent bids were trolls though
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He released a video about selling the shirt.
Interestingly, he mentions at the beginning that he needs money from selling the shirt to pay for shipping the sonic totem. That means that if he can't sell the shirt soon enough, Chris will be in (even more) serious financial trouble if the totem's buyer requests a refund.
Actually he says that the person who bought the totem disputed the charge on PayPal. Chris had already spent it so his account is now negative.
I can't believe he's wearing the legendary shirt after all this time. It looks so wrong on modern Chris.
This is outstanding, I wana see him crash and burn and watch how he tries to make sense of it all
Man he's giddy about wearing that thing. He's not going to want to give it up.
Also where did he learn about dementia? That'd explain a few things about Barb…
Chris' reverse midas touch is unchallenged. If we can piece together what's happening from this video:
> Chris sold the Sanic Totem for $1500
> the customer actually sent him the money
> Chris immediately pissed it away on junk
> Doesn't have any money to ship it
> Buyer complains to eBay, Chris admits he didn't ship it yet
> eBay refunds his money from PayPal
> Chris' PayPal is now -$1500 or whatever
> He tries to sell a shirt for $12,000 to $20,000 so he can afford to ship the Totem and get the money back
>Actually he says that the person who bought the totem disputed the charge on PayPal
>trolls wanted to buy it and do a chargeback for lulz
>someone actually paid the money for it
>Chris was too lazy to ship it, spent all the money, and the buyer had just cause for a refund
Chris really is his greatest troll.
His own biggest ween. Pretty mindfucky if you think about it too much.
That discussion sounds way more civil than I would expect from Chris, given that it's from a stranger contacting his phone.
Honestly I'm surprised more people haven't bid on this, the opportunity to have a one on one with Chris' brother seems like it would invite the same sort of person that spends $1500 on the Sonic totem
>Give Sonic a bad name
15 years of games that are decent at best and considered some of the worst games ever made at worst and one of the most autistic fanbases on the internet has already done that.
Problem is that Cole generally gets rather huffy when you ask him about Chris or Barb so it's unlikely that he'd agree to have a beer with you if that's all you wanted to discuss. He'd still take your money though, because he's a prick
Good news! Chris had sex again, and this time he didn't even have to pay for it. The hoard shot its load directly into him. They are now One.
>Chris had sex again
mildew spores being inhaled into his lungs are like a shot of jizz being deposited on a cervix
he did not actually get fucked but he became a woman for mold
It's like you never reproduced offspring by the fusion of gametes or something.
>$100000 for barb
This cracked me the fuck up
I'll be legit depressed if after the un-clit, stabbing himself an abscess vagina, poisoning himself for years with a McDiet, rubbing estrogen cream on his nipples, and cramming unwashed sex toys up his ass Chris-Chan finally dies from fungal pneumonia.
It's like Atilla the Hun dying from a nosebleed.
This is going to be what kills him isn't it?
Chris Chan is the Nietzsche of our era. A brilliant, controversial, and widely acclaimed thinker in his youth, fell into madness later in his life, and died of STD.
Autism is the only answer. To all of the questions
I love how he makes a huge deal about his clown shirt being Ralph Lauren.
>It makes him think he can get away with
Well…he can. Don't be jelly anons. You should have been an lolcow with a huge following.
Fat American autist here but unemployed. Comfy house with parents though. What are my chances?
Not really, just put your fingers over the green hair on the sides and it's literally good old Chris.
He might be a little fatter is all.
>Also where did he learn about dementia? That'd explain a few things about Barb…
I think we can take that as final confirmation that Barb has been diagnosed with dementia.
Does Chris qualify as a shuddercow at this point?
The problem is he only offers to talk about films. If he offered to talk about growing up Chandler someone might actually bid.
Except that she's now a female instead of a male.
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Is vid related going to be Chris when Barb dies? Assuming the mould doesn't kill them both first
I think he's more of a bleakcow than anything. Shadow of his former self, aging badly, no future once his mom goes, massive debt and so on.
What did you mean by this?
All Chris has to do to transistion back is cut his hair. He always had tits.
Please kill yourself
No way, at this point I'm convinced that Chris is immortal. His autism is so strong that he is literally too retarded to die.
I'm sure this has been said but he will end up inheriting all of barbs huge debt aye?
Depends on how it's done. Usually when someone dies any debts they had are taken from the estate if possible and nullified. Since her estate is pretty much everything in 14 Branchland Ct, they'll probably take the house and everything in it to pay off the massive amounts of debt on her estate leaving Chris with jack shit.
So there's still a whole new post barb saga where we get to see Chris's world literally collapse around him
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I love fan videos that come after Chris doing his shit. This one is a work of art.
I've been following CWC on and off since he was 25 and mocked as a man doing everything he's known for while pushing 30.
Now he's turning 40 and I'm the one pushing 30. CWC hasn't fundamentally changed much if at all, but the tone is more sinister than ever.
Only problem with that is that the house and everything in it is worthless. Absolutely worthless
>chris standing outside a repossessed 14 branchland court with nothing more than an aging car full of legos
So where will he go? I can imagine some kinda foster care. As much as it kills to to admit it, his whole tranny schtick gives him some social capital, so I'm sure there's some rich white childless couple that will take him in so they can use him as an activism badge to signal with
Or the hobo saga begins…
Exactly. They poorly maintain the house to the point where it drops the property value for not only themselves but the neighborhood as well. In addition all they have is Barb's hoard of useless shit piled up and Chris' hoard of children's toys and things. Both are worth jack shit.
He'll probably get dumped into some kind of foster house like Mark is where he'll actually have people trying to set him straight. I doubt it'll help him out at all considering he is stubborn as fuck and would rather sell a burnt up moldy shirt for the price of a car than sell his children's toy collection or get a job, things that could actually bring in a respectable amount of money.
At this point it's hardly even worth criticizing him for not job hunting, seeing as he's completely unemployable at his point and has been for years. Even if someone was generous enough to look past his disgusting online antics, there's the additional issue of weens spamming the employer with prank calls, and the fact the chris has outbursts of petty violence from time to time
People have been talking about this since Bob died and it's still not exhausted.
I think it's because the future is universally terrible. Seriously terrible. And people feel so bad that they conjure up things like "some kinda foster care" since that would mean that at least his basic needs would be taken care of, and that makes people feel good. The ones that exist are not very common, are very difficult to get into and have very few spaces for a guy that would essentially have to be there on the state's dime. And that's for normal tards who wouldn't sabotage it, who have been taught and trained and work hard to get to a basic level of supervised independence.
>At this point it's hardly even worth criticizing him for not job hunting, seeing as he's completely unemployable at his point and has been for years. Even if someone was generous enough to look past his disgusting online antics, there's the additional issue of weens spamming the employer with prank calls, and the fact the chris has outbursts of petty violence from time to time
I suppose the biggest thing is that Chris is unemployable for that reason rather than what he claims. Chris claims getting a job and writing out applications is too stressful and waiting for interviews and job offers is too stressful when it's his hijinks and ever increasing criminal record that prevents him from getting a job.
I guess the right critique would probably be not figuring out a way how to make a stable income, as he did have some cashflow come in during the Etsy days. The problem with the household is that instead of spending it on important shit like bills or even shipping merchandise, they blow it on dumb shit like Transformers or Legos or video games instead which puts them further in the hole when the buyer requests a refund.
Honestly he'd get a lot more money for his memorabilia and art than working a tard shift sorting bottles or selling his opened and played-with toys, but he can't be arsed to even ship things on time and decided that begging is easier.
Nah. Chris could easily land a job. It's simply that he doesn't feel like it.
His online antics aren't an issue. His legal name is Christine Chandler now. Google it. It's clean. Nothing about trolls.
On the violence thing, that's not something that'll disqualify him from a job. Twice in the span of three years, and both are classed as misdemeanors. It won't raise an eyebrow at your typical minimum wage job.
Chris could keep the job under wraps so that weens don't spam his boss. For example, he's been hanging out at a card game shop, though he never posted about that. It was only made public after someone photographed him there, and it's still not widely known. He still goes there without issue.
Like his Facebook friend said, there's an agency in VA that will help disabled people, like him, find work. He responded to that suggested by flipping out and ranting about his bullshit reasons for not seeking work.
What could he even do?
>Google it. It's clean
Chris isn't disabled enough to be in a group home. Those kinds of facilities are usually for people with severe disability, people who need constant medical care, people who can't use the toilet by themselves, bathe themselves, feed themselves, etc. Chris can do all those things he just chooses not to
Minimum wage stuff, like stocking shelves or sorting inventory, etc.
Yep. To someone doing a check, it looks like he's an artist with a few projects. That's if they even bother with that.
wasn't there a thread where we worked out the value of the home and the probability that it was reverse mortgaged?
>yfw pmurt removing or lowering the minimum wage is the only thing that would make chris employable
>Yep. To someone doing a check, it looks like he's an artist with a few projects. That's if they even bother with that.
An employer would do more than just glance at the search results. They would definitely look at his twitter. The CWCki is also on the bottom of that page, they would look at that too. His search results are not clean.
It really depends on what your definition of 'could' is. He'd be qualified to crush glass, crush boxes, clean toilets, pick up trash, etc. Whether he personally could do it, or whether he thinks it's beneath him, is a different matter entirely
It is. If I'm hiring him to be a janitor at Wal Mart I take a quick glance at that don't see any 14/88 or allah akbar then I'm not going to waste my time clicking on the links. That's if I even bother to google him in the first place which I probably won't for a minimum wage job.
He would not get a job at Wal-Mart. Firstly, pretty much all the Wal-Marts in his area have banned him at one time or another and secondly, they're not going to let someone with criminal history come into proximity with their customers. Especially someone who has plead guilty to two separate counts of assault.
He'd have to do what Alan Moore did, before he became a writer, which is work at a skinning yard and tannery.
Why would they bother checking the CWCki if it's all the way at the bottom? Chris would be applying for something minimum wage, not a management role. They're not gonna bother scrutinizing his Google results. His Twitter is something he has control over. If he goes to DARS for job help, they could advise him to lay off the tweets or privatize it. His Twitter right now has some funny stuff on it, but you'd have to click on the links to see it, otherwise it looks mundane.
It's Wal-mart. I doubt they're too strict against hiring someone with misdemeanors. Besides, there are lots of other places he could go.
It's sort of a moot point unless you really want to win an argument in the comments section for CWC's YouTube videos with tryhards and weens rehashing, "Fat manbaby get a job and stop wasting muh [parents'] tax dollars!"
People have very confidently asserted that starvation is an excellent motivator and CWC would get a job if really pushed into it. Precedent is making me think the jokes will continue to become reality instead and he'll try to give blow jobs to support his McDonald's habit.
>Why would they bother checking the CWCki if it's all the way at the bottom?
You can't rule out the possibility that they would see it.
>If he goes to DARS for job help, they could advise him to lay off the tweets or privatize it.
Cause he always listens to advice
>I doubt they're too strict against hiring someone with misdemeanors
Misdemeanour assault? Yes they are.
>Besides, there are lots of other places he could go
With his record, not in retail.
There are plenty of people with misdemeanor assault charges. Where do they go to work?
It's a remote chance that they would see the CWCki, click on the link, and care enough to look around. Same with the Twitter. Like, right now there's a bunch of posts of him shilling that shirt, but the insane price tag isn't there. It might look a bit odd but wouldn't stand out much unless they go through the trouble of clicking the ebay link.
If there's enough autism on the internet to triangulate Shia Lebeouf and his HWNDU cabin, then wherever CWC lands a hypothetical job would be found eventually and his employer's inbox spammed with links to incriminating web resources.
>some results may have been removed under data protection law in Europe
but Chris Chan isn't european
He wants to fug meg
>Where do they go to work?
Blue collar jobs where they don't have to interact with people other than fellow co-workers and are therefore unlikely to get their company sued or worse. I'm not saying that people with criminal records can't go work in retail because like with most jobs, it depends on what you did. But anyone with convictions for assault, theft/fraud or any registered sex offenders, are not going to get hired at Wal-Mart or anywhere like it.
He maced a GameStop employee because he was caught defacing one of their displays. He ran over a store owner and then drove away for reasons that are unclear. These two incidents aren't even that far apart, and they demonstrate a pattern of volatile behaviour. Would you hire this man, knowing this?
>It's a remote chance that they would see the CWCki
It's not a remote chance. It's on the first fucking page. If it were the tenth page or even the second page it's a remote chance. But the first page? That's the page a prospective employer is going comb because that's the page with the most relevant results.
Nah it's misdemeanors. They won't even ask him about it on the application.
>It's sort of a moot point unless you really want to win an argument in the comments section for CWC's YouTube videos with tryhards and weens rehashing, "Fat manbaby get a job and stop wasting muh [parents'] tax dollars!"
That was basically my point. I'm not trying to white knight or excuse his bad decisions, I'm just saying that there are very very few places that would even consider hiring him at this point, and the presence of weens is the final nail on the coffin. I just don't think most employers want to put up with that, and even if he did get hired the weens would follow and start messing with the company. At this point expecting him to get a retail or food service job is something of a meme people throw at him even if that ship has sailed.
Really a firm for disabled people would his best bet, since they'd at least tolerate his extreme laziness. I mean hell- I work at a restaurant and there's an autistic dishwasher whose waaaaay high functioning than chris and even he can barely keep up with his minimum wage duties. Chris is by all means retarded.
It's misdemeanour assault. It's not like he got a DUI. He's obligated to mention it and they will look it up anyway. Add his misdemeanour assaults together with the fact that he got fired from Wendy's for upsetting a customer and he's basically disqualified himself from that kind of work.
He's not obligated to mention it, just felonies. A misdemeanor assault is as serious as shoving someone. No one will care.
He's obligated to mention any criminal record.
>He's disqualified because he was fired from Wendy's over 15 years ago.
That sounds like something Chris would try to say tbh.
Lol no. Get back to us after you've filled out your first job application, kid.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your naivete is because you've never committed a crime and not simply because you're an idiot
You're just mad because Chris Chan has even odds of beating you for a job opening. Heh, it's nothing personal, kid.
>The CWCki is also on the bottom of that page
Note that the name listed is "Christian Weston Chandler", not "Christine". That may just look like a funny coincidence to them.
Are we looking at the same link?
Jesus Christ, is it just me or does he almost look like a woman here?
I feel like from a distance, if you imagine him to be a middle aged housewife, you can kinda see it
that's not really Chris Chan you boob it's some random tranny back from the early goobergate days
Really? Looks like him.
yes that's why I used that filename :^)
I should have known it wasn't him, he's actually outside
> Dear Ace Hardware, here is a 5,000 page encyclopedia about your newest broom monkey
>chris fucking chan gets more pussy than me
brb gonna off myself tbqh
the autistic should be neutered
>It's misdemeanour assault. It's not like he got a DUI.
How exactly is assault better than a DUI? With both you're fucked, but at least with the DUI it can be explained with making a bad decision.
Depends on the job. The lower level applications I've filled out was generally "Did you get a felony y/n" and it's only the higher jobs that start to really scrutinize criminal background. I once applied to a job that did nitpick about my driving record, it wasn't a driver/trucker position strangely.
The people saying he couldn't get some minimum wage job because of first page google results obviously have 0 experience hiring people for these positions and are just making assumptions.
People do not check google when they hire people for minimum wage jobs.
If by some miracle they do, they won't scroll down.
If by some miracle they do scroll down, they won't even click the links.
If by some miracle they click the links, they probably won't understand whats going on immediately, since a lot of shit written by CWC and about CWC require some previous CWC knowledge to understand.
Yes, Chris could get a minimum wage job, it wouldn't be as easy as showing up and getting one because even if they don't check his name on google, they'd still see him personally, and that alone would be enough to make him unlikely to be hired by retail. But it wouldn't be an impossible endeavor either. If Chris started looking for jobs now and was willing to work anywhere he would most likely have one in two months, maybe three or four.
Also, genuine question from me: how many weens do you guys think exist that are dedicated enough to do shit like call Chris' new job if he got one? Is it a bunch of weens doing a small something every so often, or is it a couple of autists who just can't let go and do all the trolling?
This. He's spent the last 15 years-ish as a NEET and that is going to be more of a problem for a job with other serious candidates. Also the fact that he looks like an eldritch horror.
> Also, genuine question from me: how many weens do you guys think exist that are dedicated enough to do shit like call Chris' new job if he got one? Is it a bunch of weens doing a small something every so often, or is it a couple of autists who just can't let go and do all the trolling?
I have been pretty surprised at how many there are. I've seen at least two autists with Chris Chan medallions in the wild (one was at that HWNDU thing in NYC), stands to reason that some of them are dedicated to fucking with him. It seems there are a bunch of different groups off the radar from the usual foxdick/cowboy cliques.
Don't bother, anon. The kid thinks if you were cited for littering 20 years ago you won't ne able to get a job bussing tables, and nothing is going to change his mind because autism.
>Also, genuine question from me: how many weens do you guys think exist that are dedicated enough to do shit like call Chris' new job if he got one? Is it a bunch of weens doing a small something every so often, or is it a couple of autists who just can't let go and do all the trolling?
According to Marvin on foxdick Farms, Chris gets about 2-3 Julay! calls a week. The trick would be if he was able to keep his job secret. Normally that would be a tall order for Chris but he's become modestly better at that kind of thing over the years since peak trolling.
Running somebody over and macing a store clerk are considerable measures above littering
idk if you've made your point yet
i think you should post 20 or 30 more times to be sure
They are, but the point is that it's not suddenly impossible to get a job if you've got a criminal record. I know people who were able to get jobs easily with criminal records in lower level positions, the same type Chris could do. The only major difference it makes is if you're doing things like contracting for government or trying to move up the corporate ladder and look towards manajerk and higher positions.
I'd take the ten seconds to give em a JULAY. Why not?
Chris's "fanbase" has to be larger than a whole lot of people who entertain for a living.
In case nobody saw it, deranged loon Louise Mensch's site HeatSt wrote about the shirt yesterday:
I'm wondering when they jumped on board. He wasn't doing anything for years. Are these the medallion buyers? Like
said, nostalgia for 25-30 year olds?
Probably mostly people from 09-10, but there was definitely a revival after Gamestop.
Louise Mensch is crazy as fuck, if you go through her tweets you find a lot of stuff that reads like persecutory delusions, some tweets are incomprehensible rambling, there's a lot of weird shit she puts out.
>He would not get a job at Wal-Mart.
Chris' best chances for work would actually be to either go to a place that's independently owned and embraces the concept of having weird, eccentric, employees like a comic or record store, or if he insisted on a corporate chain he could definitely get hired at whole foods. Full disclosure I used to work hr for the flagship store in Austin and we had a guy in the bakery in his late 30s who got in a fight during college, killed the guy "accidentally" , and served 7 years for manslaughter .
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
You'll love this then.
Christine wins again!
Try not to rage too hard, haters :^)
Congrats Chris, instead of being 1500 in the hole you're just broke and your dying mom is broke. He is truly the brilliant financial genius of our time.
this is some nobodytm shit
honestly, there's all this talk about getting a job but I'm sure that if he just stopped being a lazy fuck and started working on the comics again the weens would be more than happy to support him
of course he'd also have to pay his debts instead of blowing money on toys so it's two very unlikely possibilities
He also has something like 80 pages of Sonichu to draw up before he would be considered "even" with anyone though regarding the comics. It's unlikely he'll continue them or even remember the $1000 donation for new pages.
The only thing that bothers me is that I've always wanted that totem. Like, it would be a neat thing to trade some old transformer I found in a thrift store for. Nope, $1500 in a ween's basement.
My only hope is that it was bought by some super rich business man who does the Dinner for Schmucks thing but refuses to use Chris because it's is Pmurt card.
Did he feel bad about it at least?
She's a nut. I don't get why she's getting mainstream press nowadays.
>I think he's more of a bleakcow than anything
Well, that works, but julaying bleakness doesn't have a nice ring to it.
Whatever, Chris is fucked, it's depressing to watch, yet I can't help but keep watching anyway. There was nothing of value learning of this guy's existence. Any lessons that can be learned from him, most people know already. All those things that were funny or amusing before become difficult to watch. What more can be said about Chris that hasn't been said before? What more can be done for Chris to help him escape a fate worse than what most people imagine hell is like?
This is giving me alot to think about.
That's the funny thing. Chris is in a position to support himself with his art, an enviable position to many. But he refuses due to laziness and will settle for nothing less than becoming a lesbian housewife.
Chris is potentially lucky as shit because the majority of internet autists making shit art don't have a history that makes their crap desirable
But his lack of self-awareness is precisely why he's squandering these opportunities. He's only going to take advantage of his image unintentionally, or if some contact pushes him to do so.
If I were to magically swap bodies with Chris I'd immediately take advantage of being Chris but Chris being Chris is what's stopping him.
You know, if Chris knew how to market himself properly he could be a very successful modern artist. Essentially he'd just need to orient his art towards selling it to museums and collectors instead of broke ass weens. Have a few gallery exhibitions. I bet if he was able to bullshit a little "deeper meaning" about his artwork that art dealers would lap it all up.
Yeah, it's like the same qualities that made him an lolcow are preventing him from taking advantage of his lolcow status.
>Mfw it was a /v/tard from 4cuck
hope he gets that puppy insured
The Sonic Totem is something I would actually like to have some day. Set that motherfucker up on a shelf and tell guests that it's a piece of 'outsider art'.
She sounds like she's being held at gun point.
>If I were to magically swap bodies with Chris
I shudder just thinking about that happening to someone. Even if you go back, Chris will damage your original body.
>hey guise lets troll chris by giving him money! haha epik letrull'd julaaaaaaaay xDD
4speds are being outsmarted by Chris Chan. Amazing…
He'd need a manager of some sort who'd take care of his shit. He'd be like that retarded guy making sculptures out of cans in that King of the Hill episode, he'd be absolutely fine with being taken advantage of as long as he's not directly bluntly insulted.
last time I saw barb, she was a class III deathfat. what the fuck.
Yea, shame hes a retard
dying old people usually lose weight and get emaciated
Yes, he was actually a pretty chill dude.
In other news, Chris managed to close the shirt auction at 25,100 and he thinks he hit the jackpot. This ride has no stops my friends.
>$1500 down the drain
From the pic it looks like a regular kitchen so its not like the guy is some richfag who can throw money out the window
My prediction for the Hobo Saga
>House gets reposessed
>Chris begins posting videos loitering outside cafes and fast food restaurants
>We can clearly see a shopping cart full of toys with Sorbet attached to a leash in with the mini horde, and a cheap urn filled with Barb's ashes perched on top
>Several months of begging
>Over time we see Chris becoming skinnier and more disheveled, he begins growing a patchy beard and his bald spot is even worse
>He also seems to get more frantic and jumpy in every video, his mental state is decreasing
>Sorbet eventually goes feral and has to get put down
>About a year or two after the saga starts, he uploads a video
>Talks about how he and Megan have resumed contact
>Uploads another video
>Chris giggling and mumbling to himself while approaching a house at night
>Struggles to get a window open
>Middle aged woman in bed with her husband
>She sits up and we can see it's Megan
>"C-Chris? Is that you? Get the fuck out of my house"
>Knife comes into view
>Video cuts out
>Last video Chris ever uploads
Nah, odds are chris' ending will be a sad depressing one, not epic at all
Wait, Jack Dorsey personally keeps tabs on Chris's twitter? What?
6 year old me was basically a carbon copy of chris, all the way down to the dirty shit. I became a lot less autistic when I began to socialize more, though. Thank christ it never went past that.
>6 year old
Well now you're grasping at straws. Chris being so autistic is exactly why he has so many traits a normal 6 year old could have.
I meant the DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS part but I didn't want to outright say it.
>after the restoration and disinfection of the shirt
He's worked at Wendy's before. It did not go well.
Probably irrelevant, most people's first jobs are shit (I would have walked out on mine the first day if they had a vending machine in the lobby. I planned to step out and never come back.) More important is that was SIXTEEN YEARS AGO.
Nearly every job involves either working with others or being independently motivated, you can't really find one that isn't one or the other when they're not both. He can't do either. Really the only thing people can say in favor of Chris being employed at some point is rolling out a starvation motivation theory. Could be true, we'll never know until it happens. He'll never know until it happens.
Virtue signaling. Nothing more, he probably doesn't care much about Chris outside of him being a victim.
Most kids poop their pants at some point, they are kids. Don't beat yourself over it, it's when you're an adult is when it's a problem.
Dorsey only cares about bad press, he couldn't give a shit about Chris and probably doesn't watch his account personally but was made aware of the article and told his people to keep an eye on the situation.
most people when they have to borrow against their life insurance policy only do so in extreme situations and take it very seriously. it's great to see chris is doing the same.
I was using it as an example of why he wouldn't be able to hold a job, hence the "It did not go well".
How the fuck does chrischan have clout with the twitter CEO?
He bought the largest size too. Starbucks is expensive as it is.
Whatever. I didn't even know they had MLP shit there.
Where is the article?
It's just better for him to remain on the tugboat, it's also cheaper for the taxpayer. Giving all the training Chris needs and supervising him would be a far bigger net loss.