/cuteboys/ - Boypussy

You can put a condom inside a toilet roll, fill it with water and freeze it, then run it under a hot tap for five seconds before insertion.

Go to a garden centre and ask for a garden dibber, for making seed holes. Well, that's what it's called here in the UK, dunno what it's called in the world's largest open prison.

South and SE Asian shops may sell aubergines that are a good size and shape.

Get a frisky dog.

Massage places may have wooden massagers for sale in nice shapes. Crystal nuts may have "healing wands" or similar bullshit, cheap quartz or obsidian ones are good.

Rolling pins are good, preferably marble or silicone.

Get a sugar daddy and ask him to buy you one.

Everytime I see these threads I assume they're made by an extremely horny 15 year old.

>>248112

Eh, possibly, it wasn't until my late 20s that I started wanting a dick up my ass.

Wait until your parents go on holiday and buy a dildo, OP. That's what I was able to do recently after never being able to find a good, safe alternative and it's been amazing. I spend the entire day waiting for everyone to go to bed so I can ride it again.

>I'm too shy to order a dildo off the internet

Order it for when they're at work, if you get express delivery or if the postman comes early on then it'll arrive when they're not in. Failing that, just explain it away with an exuse – say it's a bunch of second hand books or movies if you collect either, and that explains why it's not in an amazon box.

>regular old fear

You live in a place where the spiders are big enough to eat birds. This is seriously nothing.

>>248063

>i'm not the only one who has used a toilet brush

Thank god.

>>248063

You can always get lucky like me and have your friends buy you a dildo as a prank not knowing you're into gay shit

>>248150

>tfw a friend of mine did this to another friend

>i was asked to help pick out the dildo

>tfw still don't own my own

>>248190

"ha! ha! ha!"

I assume you're an underage b&, but cos you're an ausfag, i'll tell you. Just get a real one.

1.Buy prepaid credit card from coles with ca$h

2.Use this shit http://auspost.com.au/parcels-mail/parcel-lockers.html

3.Order a dildo

>>248110

Ah the ol' classic. When I was a teen I bought this perfume that was in a big, cigar-shaped container. Perfect makeshift dildo, even had a nice texture. I rode that thing till I could barely walk :D

>>248063

F I N G E R S

>>248063

>Cucumbers

>(new) Toilet Plunger handle

>Oddly shaped armpit deodorant containers

>Hairbrush handle

Also fam, id recommend getting a dildo off amazon, as it ships in plain packaging (assuming its shipped by amazon). You could always order a few other things to obfuscate the dildos box. Just saying tho

>>248063

Just go to a shop in the city, OP. If you live near me I'll even come with ehehe~

Toothbrush, obviously throw it away afterwards

>>248394

Why would you waste a perfectly good toothbrush by throwing it away?

>>251460

the tip is not round, wouldn't it be very difficult to put it up?

>>252495

These are perfect. I had one with a cute little easter bunny on it that gave me my first anal (not hands free on the cock however) orgasm with something other than my fingers.

>>252726

keeping it vegan all the way sweden i see

nice sheets btw

>>251505

Not really. Depends on the angle, I guess. I wouldn't try to shove it straight in without much warm up, but if you use lube, angle it towards the top or bottom of your hole and push a bit, it should slide right in no problems. You just want to get a corner in there, then press down (or up - whatever is easiest for you) - then in.

>>252726

See, I wouldn't recommend a carrot because the end is too pointy, even if you blunt it. I'd be afraid it was going to damage something. Bananas are too soft, and if the skin of it splits, you're going to have an awful mess on your hands. Cucumbers are alright, but I think food in general is a bad idea since I never liked the idea of disposable dildos that could spoil. You have to keep buying new ones.

The knurling on the mag-lite isn't a problem if you have a condom on it. The bigger issue is that it's metal, so it can get pretty cold. If you're not particular about it being functional, I suppose you could take the D-Cells out and put something warm inside the tube. A Zip-Loc bag full of dry rice that's been microwaved for a few seconds should do the trick. You'll lose some of the heft, and it'll take some practice to dial in the heat of the rice so that it doesn't get too hot or cool down too soon - but it should still work really well.

Lint/hair rollers have a fantastic shape in my opinion. Super innocent to buy, when mine ran out of the adhesive paper I just filed down the seams on the handle and went to town.