>>235
I think you're mostly right. I did frantically trying to make sense of it, because the right words put a bandaid on it as long as it works.
I've long since gone past trp, (good general manliness tips regardless of shittery, and that's important for primal sexual attraction) never embraced it, but did wonder if they were right in my case and I was just a pathetic bastard who was hoping for something I'd never get. I think that isn't entirely correct or incorrect. I didn't grudge what I gave or the feelings I had until I wasnt able to see through pain and admit my feelings and be vulnerable to rejection. I don't think I would have been, and that's something that really screws with my head. The fact that I was pretty much there but screwed up. And looking back and seeing all the signs. The disconnected male side bit is due to a few things. I was hoping I was right in being wrong about that.
That I was too focused on ego pain to relate my needs.
Also I have been "what the fuck is wrong with me" a fair amount (:
And I found out how I should withdraw when I'm emotionally hurt instead of saying it, if I know it won't matter.
Thanks a lot! I'm already at the running with it point, but been depressed bc it's been tough dealing with the idea that the woman who "hurt me" (really it's both and neither of our faults. Just energy echoes) is the one that's been showing up as my mate later.
ego is like "why couldn't you just accept me as I was"
Much love. I'll send you some light (without actually focusing on you but when I meditate I do that for anyone divinity chooses as connected to me)