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/doomer/ - Doomers Club

Most precious years of our lives are gone and now we clinch to alcoholism
Winner of the 77nd Attention-Hungry Games
/x/ - Paranormal Phenomena and The RCP Authority

April 2019 - 8chan Transparency Report
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game devving

File: a5ece87777badf1⋯.png (398.71 KB, 498x499, 498:499, sol pais.png)

 No.15752

Girl knew how to make websites tbh

https://dissolvedgirl.neocities.org

 No.15754

>Alice In Chains fan

>10/10 absolute beauty

hi future ex-wife.

I used to code in HTML often. Javascript was fucking annoyingly hard.


 No.15755

File: d12b440a88c3229⋯.jpg (31.73 KB, 799x533, 799:533, sol pais 8.jpg)

File: c045676f402bde6⋯.png (3.95 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, sol pais7.png)

File: 52f555ac3842ef0⋯.png (3.74 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, sol pais3.png)

File: 54c6f3ab9e6a920⋯.png (482.13 KB, 503x494, 503:494, sol pais2.png)

>>15754

Javascript should be destroyed.


 No.15756

File: 9171e6e38c78d47⋯.png (803.11 KB, 759x681, 253:227, based sol pais.png)

It's confirmed. Stacies can be based, r9k and wizchan btfo


 No.15760

File: 596597823acb90c⋯.png (2.59 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, sol pais12.png)

File: 3826732dd4dfe1f⋯.png (2.5 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, sol pais10.png)

File: 419e7270f590bc4⋯.jpg (20.08 KB, 360x360, 1:1, sol pais 9.jpg)

File: ba5e5665929e697⋯.png (3.25 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, sol pais5.png)


 No.15762

>>15756

>highscore is -1

Not too impressed. Would have done better by sexually manipulating virgins to shoot up the school for her.


 No.15763

>>15762

All those psycho girls I know but none of them have edgy 90s looking website and interest in guns, that's why I'm single. Pacifism was mistake. Truly a waste of a good girl right here + she could indeed use the shotgun for better purposes.


 No.15765

>>15755

true

oh shit, that's the woman. absolute queen


 No.15766

>>15763

like deepthroat


 No.15767

>>15752

This whole thing reeks of honeypot. Something about this whole thing just doesn't add up. Maybe because there are still missing pieces to the whole fiasco, but I wouldn't leave it out that the Federal Agencies are looking for some people's teeth to kick in. I mean, now that the whole Muslim hysteria has passed, the FBI needs some new human fodder. Be wary anons. And for those of you that will say, "But the FBI wouldn't hurt a bunch of losers", THINK AGAIN. The FBI has a long ass fucking history of anally raping losers. Losers are an easy promotion and an easy target for these subhumans.


 No.15769

>>15767

Daily reminder that since Tarrant, 8ch as site is less responsive. I don't think it's false flag or something though, only in scenario if they would want to use her as bait for nutjobs like me to reveal themselves and who maybe plan something similar. But that doesn't matter since I want gf like this, I know it's pathetic but I admit I like broken beauties who are not afraid of violent acts.


 No.15770

>>15767

Considering she apparently bought three seats on the bus to go there and said she was going on a hunting trip with friends that knew the area, my bet is on a glownigger op that ends with her eating lead after she's isolated in the forest. Wouldn't be surprised if she knew nothing about the manhunt and the (((friends))), after having not used the bus to ensure they don't get recorded and met up right near the forest, executed her as the cops closed in.

The idea being to push gun control in the US.


 No.15771

>>15770

>The idea being to push gun control in the US.

Still it's place of wonders if 18 year old girl has no problem to get a shotgun for "hunting" just like that. I don't know if she got it legally or not but it's much harder in the EU Zone.


 No.15772

>made a neocities

>into some interesting shit

>actual girl and not a fucking tranny

>died

Why


 No.15773

>>15772

Neocities look like fucking honeypot though.

>Neocities reserves the right to investigate complaints or reported violations of our Legal Terms and to take any action we deem appropriate, including but not limited to canceling your Member account, reporting any suspected unlawful activity to law enforcement officials, regulators, or other third parties and disclosing any information necessary or appropriate to such persons or entities relating to your profile, email addresses, usage history, posted materials, IP addresses and traffic information, as allowed under our Privacy Policy.


 No.15774

>>15773

For it to be a honeypot, it would have to attract some type of person they deem dangerous. The site's main demographic consists of compsci trannies and similar faggots, not potential school shooters. Seriously, go to their list of sites and count the amount of cutest pastel pages with tumblr-tier author descriptions.


 No.15775

She posted Dirt on her music page too. I will listen now in tribute to this qt.


 No.15778

>>15752

I think /doomer/ has found its queen. That Iranian girl felt like /pol/'s sloppy seconds. Sol is ours.


 No.15779

File: e1300534a3f9442⋯.png (1.44 MB, 2556x1204, 639:301, solpais20.png)

File: abbca10eaf18b63⋯.png (2.18 MB, 2560x1202, 1280:601, solpais19.png)

File: 540e258d88520c8⋯.png (1.74 MB, 2560x1224, 320:153, solpais18.png)

File: 1fb36b9ec006cf5⋯.png (1.47 MB, 2560x1200, 32:15, solpais17.png)

File: 3d9b4c91c331349⋯.png (1.15 MB, 2560x1304, 320:163, sol pais16.png)


 No.15781

File: 419c3c56619f631⋯.png (2.1 MB, 2560x1200, 32:15, solpais25.png)

File: ed667e7a8d06172⋯.png (2.03 MB, 2560x1202, 1280:601, solpais24.png)

File: 5c92854fb9c6a88⋯.png (1.88 MB, 2560x1224, 320:153, solpais23.png)

File: 6526d68b925696d⋯.png (1.91 MB, 2560x1212, 640:303, solpais22.png)

File: 020100561e57bed⋯.png (1.51 MB, 2560x1204, 640:301, solpais21.png)

>>15774

Yes you are right. I went through those pages and it's mostly muh aesthetic vaporwave shit or anime.


 No.15784

>>15770

the best way to deal with this is to accelerate degeneracy towards the SJWs who fired the first shots. can't use guns? use hammers, knives, anything can be a weapon. commit rape, fuck kids, turn your basements into POW camps/rape dungeons. commit arson. you know the drill.


 No.15785

>this feeling towards her

Is this what true-crime fangirls on Tumblr feel towards all the dudes they talk about? doesn't help that she looks like a girl I liked back in college, although said girl was a bit moralfaggy


 No.15788

>>15769

>But that doesn't matter since I want gf like this, I know it's pathetic but I admit I like broken beauties who are not afraid of violent acts.

Oof. Same, but it's mainly because I'm broken and can't relate to normalfags. They can't understand or relate to a hard life, nor have any idea of how have a relationship with someone who lived one.


 No.15796

thx for posting, will check out site thoroughly later

but I love her web 1.0 style and she seems to have had more web dev skills than I will ever had

But why did she off herself

she seemed like a normie from far

and she even was good-looking

how did she not have a gorillion orbiters and friends

>>15769

So cute

I hope you find happiness BO-san

>>15778

I agree, Winona gets a contestor now


 No.15797

>>15779

>those dead eyes

>same as I have

why am I seeing this in all people on the non-normie spectrum

it is as if their souls died a long time ago and their bodies are just an empty vessel on auto pilot

they say the eyes are the mirror to one's soul

Anyways girl, I really hope you found peace and that you are now at a better place


 No.15802

File: 1d82d3ce8f38ca8⋯.jpg (54.05 KB, 500x485, 100:97, when_its_fucking_monday_ag….jpg)

There was a chick in Argentina that went with a gun to school just to anhero herself, whats with womyn being such shit mass shooters? the only I know who did it right was Brenda Spencer


 No.15806

>>15796

>how did she not have a gorillion orbiters

I think it may have to do with her interests. She didn't seem to be into anime, video games, or other hobbies full of autists. I know she's got that website of hers, but it seems more inspired by Eric and Dylan's sites than the whole "dude geocities lmao" that computing fags talk about.

I saw something similar back when I was in high school. I knew one girl who loved metal and wanted to sing in a band, and despite being cute she apparently had never had a boyfriend before. Meanwhile I knew another girl who was your typical anime/JRPG fangirl, except since she wasn't ass-ugly like the rest of them she had a swarm of orbiters around her at all times and was never single for more than a week.


 No.15808

some of her fav movies:

>heathers

>natural born killers

>reservoir dogs

>the matrix

>american beauty

>taxi driver

>the breakfast club

>american psycho

she had superb taste in movies indeed

what a waste

good night sweet princess, may you find peace where you are now

for music she seemed into trip hop kind of stuff and metal

how old was she? zoomer or millenial?

zoomer girls all want to look like 25 today and you see 13 year olds who you easily mistake for being 19


 No.15809

>>15796

>but I love her web 1.0 style and she seems to have had more web dev skills than I will ever had

The beauty of simple web is total "amateurism". Web used to be about sharing stuff, no matter what it was, now design took over and totally killed functionality + modern web design looks like crap anyway. I should finish my website finally, don't know how it will end up or if I ever get it done. Just learn simple HTML, that's all you need to know.

>I hope you find happiness BO-san

I don't know if happiness is meant for me but thank you, craziness is rising among people, I think it will be much harder to find someone "normal" and "healthy" in future than total psycho.

>I agree, Winona gets a contestor now

Winona has divine position, Queen is human. I can try to make some headers for board.

>>15788

If you are not dayhuman then you will never be satisfied with one around you. It's just like day and night. You don't even have to act deep but normalcattle won't understand you anyway. It's dead end situation.

>>15806

The appearance of woman doesn't matter that much if she is different inside; she can't maintain healthy long-lasting relationship, that only adds up to frustration and depression, even though she won the looks lottery. There are plenty beautiful women who attract the wrong types and the right types will never ask them out.

>>15808

>how old was she? zoomer or millenial?

Media says 18. Halfchan sperged out because she looks older but if you look at this pic: >>15781 (second one), you clearly see she looks like a teen. Make up is one thing but photography is the biggest liar usually.


 No.15810

>The purpose of this site is for me to give insight into

>the thoughts I rarely, if ever, share with others, while remaining

>somewhat anonymous. Everything from journal entries to my

>personal interests - I want to leave a record of myself before I, well…

I wonder how long she already knew she wanted to leave this world

>Internet Explorer is Evil

based girl

>206K views

I wonder how many it had before she became a news article entry

then there is this other kind of hidden part on her neocities

>for my angel

>and for the first time,

>i’m telling you how much i need

>and bleed for

>your every move and waking sound.

>in my time

>i’ll wrap my wire around your heart,

>and you’re mine,

>you’re mine forever now.

>and if there is eternity i'd love you there again.

Being an expert for cheesy stuff like that I feel like she did not create this just because she liked the song. I wonder who it might have been dedicated to and if he broke her heart or if it was just some kind of unrequited love she never got over with.

Man, I hate such stories. Why does it have to end like this

It is always the good who die young


 No.15811

File: 1ec7fb483767e47⋯.jpg (39.92 KB, 519x539, 519:539, Kayo9.jpg)

From her about page:

>in this tiresome reality that i do not belong in, i take the form of Sol.

complete alienation not only with society and everything around her but also with herself. She seems to think her body was only a vessel or something and not herself.

>i am the face of loneliness and misery,

>of isolation and anger,

>of exhaustion and anxiety,

>of anguish and grace.

she was screaming for someone to help her

This reminded me very much of Bokumachi where the girl protag wrote an essay how she wants to escape to a lonely island, away from her village, her mother and everything. Basically a cry for help but nobody notices such stuff

>well, it must have been just some kind of joke or sumthin'

But really, How did nobody notice?

Okay, family are the last ones who notice but there must have been at least 1 person who was kind of close with her who should have noticed.


 No.15812

>>15802

Because they're women.


 No.15813

>Just learn simple HTML, that's all you need to know.

she could embed jewtube videos, I have no idea how to do this

all I can do is fill my website with text and background color, text font and color and paragraphs because lazy subhuman

>I think it will be much harder to find someone "normal" and "healthy" in future than total psycho.

WHO predicts by year 2030, half of the global population will have at least 1 mental illness. Urbanization makes people crazy. It increases stress levels into infinity and sensible people just check out of life completely and have nothing to do anymore and go batshit crazy. This is the future we chose. It seems like now it affects women as well because social media puts 10 million times the stress on them because of all the fake people posting lies and setting fantasy standards for normal girls they can never reach.

>18 year old

so the zoomers have arrived to the real world of despair and hopelessness

I wonder how many we will see to go down in a similar way

her todo list:

>self destruct

>burn out

>walk away

>reject apologies

>fade

I wonder how long she has been in that loop already

But clearly she saw no future for herself

Interestingly she was not crying for attention like you would expect your typical teen angst girl. This is just pure despair that she shouts out into the endless void knowing that nobody will ever hear her

And to think that an 18 yo girl had more guts to off herself than I have. Lol


 No.15814

She looks like a 30-year old methhead.


 No.15815

Okay this was not unexpected but on her links section you find very interesting stuff as well:

she really liked this occult stuff

>tarot readings

>satanism

>demolishion guide for anarchists

>magazines from the late 90s and early 2000s

especially the last one is interesting because she was not even a child in that era. Very interesting because I feel nostalgic for the 80s even when I am born in 1991.


 No.15816

oh and the thing I like most

all the websites she points out to have this same 90s aestetic

It feels like a time machine

>brb, doing that seven deadly sins test now


 No.15817

lol

>sloth very high

>gluttony medium

>greed medium

fits me like a glove


 No.15818

File: 353220d991ab337⋯.jpg (37.3 KB, 300x100, 3:1, doomersolb04.jpg)

File: 756914cdd9bb4a8⋯.jpg (31.24 KB, 300x100, 3:1, doomersolb03.jpg)

File: d6f95c14d6bbd82⋯.jpg (45.06 KB, 300x100, 3:1, doomersolb02.jpg)

File: 696bc11663e985e⋯.jpg (35.7 KB, 300x100, 3:1, doomersolb01.jpg)

>>15810

>Why does it have to end like this

Sick world killing youth.


 No.15819

By the way, is there way how I can archive her whole website? I don't know for how long it will be up.


 No.15820

>women are evil manipulative bitches

>hnnnnnng 10/10 would jump over the borderline with

doomer sexuality is feminine in nature


 No.15821

>>15811

>She seems to think her body was only a vessel or something and not herself.

Let's be honest, don't most of us feel like that?

>>15813

>embed jewtube

You have literally whole source code you paste on your web when you click under video on share button. Trust in yourself, this is pretty easy stuff.

>It seems like now it affects women as well

Oh women were no exception. It's nothing new afaik. It also makes sense because they are not that strong as most of the men. You know when your men are going down the mental illness spiral, your society is pretty much fucked beyond recovery.

>And to think that an 18 yo girl had more guts to off herself than I have. Lol

That's what I kind of always thought. They have even bigger nothing to lose as we did/do. Worth of human life is on ultimate lows.

>>15820

Trve scholars


 No.15822

>>15819

httrack works pretty well.


 No.15823

okay anons, this can't be real

I just did the online tarot thingy

except 1 thing everything is right

i can't believe this anons

in may I go back home to visit a shaman/fortune teller kind of lady my mother visited in 2017. she told my mom I need to visit her. until this year I delayed and delayed it because I think she has bad news for me and she probably saw my bad future already back then. holy shit what is happening here


 No.15824

File: d61a6603563c1cf⋯.jpg (453.79 KB, 768x1024, 3:4, Sol.jpg)

I feel so bad about this. She didn't hurt anyone. She literally didn't even fucking do anything!! She was too pure for this world. There really is no hope for finding love in this cold, cold world!


 No.15825

>>15822

I just wget-ed it. Works pretty much fine.

wget -m -p -E -k https://dissolvedgirl.neocities.org

>>15823

I personally don't trust these things. What did cards told you my man?

>>15824

Such is life in nigger existence. The sad thing is that it can't even shock me anymore, we've seen young pure and naive people dead just because they couldn't cope so many times…


 No.15826

>>15824

This is what I thought too

She was not mad at anyone, didn't hurt anyone

Just went from this planet with a bang

>>15825

I am still trying to decypher some things. But I will screencap it or post a text of it.

My sister toes tarot stuff and I feel like she might be a psychic. She told me she dreamt of her best friends new bf and he told to her bestie the exact line that my sister dreamt of a few days prior to their date.

My grand grand ma apparently was a shaman/psychic/witch or something but nobody wants to talk about it fucking christcuck normies


 No.15827

File: 6298e292b25d055⋯.jpg (58.82 KB, 675x450, 3:2, 1524458062389.jpg)

Another dead girl to fantasize about? AND she's a computer generated goddess? *Licks lips* where's the morgue *Unzips*

Go outside today dorks


 No.15829

File: 21285a9b593dc3d⋯.gif (3.81 KB, 150x20, 15:2, soulmate.gif)

https://dissolvedgirl.neocities.org/soulmate.html

Who do you think she was referring to? Actual boyfriend? Oneitis?


 No.15830

>>15826

You don't have dreams sometimes which predict future? But your sister might be on next level. Who knows how human brain works.


 No.15831

Now for the Tarot stuff. I typed in my bday and my internet nickname this is what I get:

>Tarot card

Strength: Raw power. Health and physical fortitude. A surge of tremendous force. Recovery from sickness. Victory after apprehension and fear. The ability to face and overcome opposition brings the inner qualities of strength and forbearance. Delays and setbacks will be overcome.

I am not sure why this came up but apparently I share this card with people like:

>Al Capone, Carl Gustav Jung, Frank Lloyd Wright, Hugo Chavez, John D. Rockefeller, Joseph Stalin

>Kosename Joseph Stalin

>Public role

> Words that embody your presence are "Authority, Compulsion, Intimidation, Sterility".

>Words that embody things that may be a part of you are "Drama, Hell".

>Words that embody people or things in your periphery are "Africa, Agility, Ambition, Aurora, Author, Barbarism, Beast,

Beauty, Bitter, Boat, Change, Chariot, Cocktail, Conversation, Craving, Cross, Dazzle, Death, Defiance, Energy, Fire, Forest, Gold, Iridium, Jackal, Judge, Jury, Luck, Melody, Messiah, Mink, Monkey, Occult, Ocean, Omen, Opium, Palace, Pinnacle, Prayer, Radio, Redemption, Rich, Rock, Seer, Sentiment, Shepherd, Shout, Spring, Tantra, Tarot, Tide, Time, Vassal, Violet, Vixen, Vulture, Warlock, Weapon, Wisdom".

Not sure what to think about this one

>Private Persona

> Words that embody your presence are "Asia, Axe, Baby, Beer, Bread, Day, Fact, Fear, Gin, Peace, Web".

>Words that embody things that you may be a part of are "Fulfillment, Industry, Television".

>Words that embody people or things in your periphery are "Chemistry, Fortress, Illuminati, Mercenary, Oyster, Periphery, Question, Security, Stallion".

not sure about this either

This is like from the main page


 No.15832

>>15830

I can never remember what I dream. Last time I remembered was End of March. I was with my cousin and we sprayed a graffiti then ran away from cops. The previous one was I dreamt of my childhood crush

Now to the tarot reading parts that make me scared:


 No.15833

Today's Runes for Anonymous:

The Norn spread is used to plot the crucial elements of past, present, and future, and to reveal the evolution of the situation through the arc of time. Stone Runes are most commonly used for questions about the natural world and things beyond human control.

The left rune represents an important element of the past. Inguz is the rune of completion and fertility. The presence of this rune suggests that tasks which have been initiated will come to fruition. This rune is associated with Ing and Frey, it is this connection that explains its connotations of both fertility and sexuality. The variant of this rune shown here is reminiscent of the twin strands of life, and of the challenge and rewards of bringing together things complimentary.

The middle rune represents a deciding element of the present. Fehu represents cattle the Norse symbol of wealth. This rune has some interesting implications based on the fact that cattle, unlike land, move about of their own accord. Cattle also reproduce, so this rune often speaks of wealth that renews or perpetuates itself. Wealth takes many forms, but this rune generally represents the value that is purely material or monetary in nature. Alternatively, this rune is deeply associated with Frey, and hence can be the harbinger of fertility and children.

The right rune represents the critical element of the future. Eoh refers to the Yew tree. The Yew does not go dormant and therefore represents endurance. Even the wood of the tree is strong, resilient, and pliable - the Yew bends, but does not break. The evergreen nature of the Yew is present even in the rune itself, as it cannot be changed even by reversal. This rune is historically symbolic of death, but, as in the Tarot and as suggested by the nature of the Yew tree itself, death is seen only as a transmutation of something eternal and unchanging - the spirit.

So Tarot can see my death?


 No.15835

>>15831

>Words that embody people or things in your periphery are

Literally just use this:

https://glot.io/snippets/emkcfc01jp

>>15832

I sometimes have dreams which can pretty much predict some events but not further than 24 hours. Maybe just lucky coincidences or subconscious mind remembering the connections, forgetting the rest.

>>15833

>Alternatively, this rune is deeply associated with Frey, and hence can be the harbinger of fertility and children.

You will either be father or dead (spiritually). Pretty good.


 No.15836

>Today's I Ching for Anonymous

The present is embodied in Hexagram 53 - Chien (Gradual Progress): We see the marriage of a young lady, and the good fortune attending it. There will be advantage in being firm and correct.

The second line, divided, shows the geese gradually approaching the large rocks, where they eat and drink joyfully and at ease. There will be good fortune.

The situation is evolving slowly, and Yang (the active masculine force) is gaining ground.

I am invited for a wedding in July. I can't believe it

The future is embodied in Hexagram 57 - Sun (Wind): There will be some little attainment and progress. There will be advantage in movement onward in whatever direction. It will be advantageous to see the great man.

Not sure about this one because I have no idea what I want to do in life now

The things most apparent, those above and in front, are embodied by the upper trigram Sun (Wind), which represents penetration and following.

The things least apparent, those below and behind, are embodied by the lower trigram Ken (Mountain), which is transforming into Sun (Wind). As part of this process, stillness and obstruction are giving way to penetration and following.

Not sure about those either


 No.15838

Numerology for Anonymous for 4/19/2019

In Your Public Life…

Words that embody things that may be a part of you are "Cage, Champagne, Gazelle, Language, Passage".

>I kind of feel in a mental cage right now yes,

Words that embody people or things in your periphery are "Allure, Artist, Atlantis, Constellation, Decision, Dolphin, Freemason, Ghost, Gladiator, Heroin, Husband, Jungle, Justice, Knight, Knowledge, Leather, Playboy, Priest, Retreat, Romance, Rough, Society, Spite, Tornado, Travel, Truth, Tundra, Watcher, Wealth, Whore, Worm".

This one hit me hard:

>Allure

>Artist

>Constellation

>Husband

It remembers me of someone…

Then for the other stuff:

>Heroin

>Society

>Spite

>Whore

I wonder what those might be for

And wealth coming up once again

In Your Private Life…

Words that embody your presence are "Bliss, Ebony, Magenta, Mist, Steel, Trance".

>Bliss, I wonder why

Words that embody the people or things that you interact with are "Cage".

>once again, cage

Words that embody people or things in your periphery are "Community, Fertility, Immunity, Infinity, Ingenuity, Kaleidoscope, Linguistics, Misadventure, Monolith, Platinum, Profanity, Pursuit, Puzzle, Retribution, Sculptor, Strategy, Technology, Temptation, Ugliness, Virility, Voyeur".

>Temptation

>Voyeur

It must be pr0ns on /b/


 No.15839

>>15836

This is why I don't trust too much in this stuff because it's just mix of everything and not saying anything certain at the same time. Tell me if marriage came into your life in any form in next months.

>Heroin

>Society

>Spite

>Whore

<I wonder what those might be for

Based boomer gypsy tarot.

>Words that embody your presence are

>ebony

Black gf incoming?


 No.15840

>>15839

*doomer

I wrote recently phrase "based boomer" too much apparently.


 No.15841

File: 7649241ba2d65af⋯.jpeg (564.7 KB, 947x1199, 947:1199, Sol2.jpeg)

Fuck this gay earth


 No.15842

Now the thing that scared me most:

>Today's Tarot for Anonymous

>Click for Details The first card, the significator, is placed in the center of the cross. This card represents the prime energy manifest in your life. Eight of Artifacts (Resonator): Chagrin at the unforeseen consequences of prior decisions. Criticism, censure, and the imposition of external restrictions. Confusion leading to powerlessness. Inability to focus on the crux of a problem and free oneself from a difficult situation. Being hamstrung by a past failure or humiliation.

true, many failures in the past, external restrictions (probably my parents), inability to foucs → instead wasting time on 8ch

>The second card, placed above the significator, represents Air. It describes your spirit, process of thought, and the influence of reason. Six of Man (Herbert West), when reversed: Closing your heart to the simple pleasures of life. Escaping realities by living in the past. Refusal to grow up and embrace the joys of adulthood. Contempt for acts of gentle kindness. May indicate immaturity or sexual insecurities. May indicate the departure of an old friend.

not sure about contempt for kindness but all the other things are true

even the one with the old friend who lately contacted me again after more than a year just because he needed something and I felt disgusted by him

>The third card, placed to the right of the significator, represents Fire. It describes your motivations, creative energies, and the influence of passion. Nine of Sites (Kadath): Good luck attending material affairs. Attaining refinement and embracing elegance. Discipline and nobility applied to the maintenance of security and stability. The wise use of resources and foresight. The fulfillment that comes with accomplishment, and the turning of attention to higher things.

fits like a glove

>The fourth card, placed below the significator, represents Water. It describes your emotions, meditations, and the influence of love. Nine of Man (Wilbur Whateley): Contentment and satisfaction in romance, friendship, or other relationships. Achieving your deepest desires and savoring beauty and sensual pleasures. A state of joy and abundance radiating fulfillment and bliss.

Not sure about this one. I am in love with a fictionary character and you can't count that as a relationship. This is the odd one I don't understand


 No.15843

>The fifth card, placed to the left of the significator represents Earth. It describes your physical presence, position in life, and the influence of the material world. King of Man (Keziah Mason), when reversed: The dark essence of water behaving as air, such as rain clouds in a gray sky: A pillar of maturity and patience, hiding a deep insecurity and an indecisive nature. One who secretly lusts for power, but lacks the courage, intellect, or work ethic necessary to take it. A charming seducer who appears innocent and understanding, but is in fact selfish and unfaithful.

>hiding a deep insecurity and an indecisive nature

>One who secretly lusts for power, but lacks the courage to take it

>A charming seducer who appears innocent and understanding, but is in fact selfish and unfaithful.

I am not charming but I do give those stupid/humble vibes indeed. and selfish, well… yeah

unfaithful, yes, if fapping counts as unfaithfulness or if not caring about former companies anymore

>Click for Details At this point the cross is complete and the triangle is formed. The sixth card, placed on the bottom left of the triangle represents one of two opposing forces. Seven of Tomes (The King in Yellow): Standing courageously for your beliefs in the face of adversity. Fear of failure overcome by the will to succeed. Great obstacles met with heroism and determination. Inner strength brought to bear at a critical moment.

Once again strenghth, I was never strong so I wonder what it means or maybe it is not literally meant. maybe strong will

>The seventh card, placed on the bottom right of the triangle represents the force that opposes the bottom left card. These forces may be external, but they are frequently one's own inner archetypes in conflict. Tsathoggua, when reversed: Resistance of temptation. Freedom from bondage. The pursuit of higher goals despite the influence of luxury and pleasure. Release from obsession with money and power. Liberation from fear, weakness and indecision through communion with higher powers or the inner voice.

kind of fits. Today I met my sister and she asked me why I walk around in adidas track pants when I could afford better stuff. I just like them because comfy

>The eighth card, the reconciler, is placed below the cross in the third vertex of the triangle. This is the force that will resolve the conflict between the bottom left and bottom right cards. By meditating on this force and bringing more of it into your life, you can bring the matter at hand to a swifter conclusion than would naturally occur. Three of Artifacts (The Silver Key), when reversed: Unsettling news that helps you to distance yourself from a destructive relationship. Painfully honest communication that needs to take place. Not letting yourself be dragged by your emotions into a negative situation. A trust or confidence betrayed in an attempt to help someone in need. The revelation of a painful truth.

I wonder who this destructive relationship might be

>trust of confidence betrayed help someone in need

I have a candidate as well

incredible

>The ninth and final card, placed in the center bottom of the triangle, represents the final outcome unless you change course. Page of Sites (Sentinel Hill): The essence of earth, such as a mountain: The surprising appearance of new prosperity and opportunities for advance in the physical world. One who delights in the pleasures of the body, material things, and nature. The embrace of hard work, realistic goals, and scholarly perseverance as a means to create solid achievement. Dependability, trust, and a studious nature. May portend a new job or promotion.

I wanted to start a company for a long time already

Maybe this is a sign


 No.15844

File: de0849910245721⋯.png (417.87 KB, 579x861, 193:287, Untitled.png)

forgot pic


 No.15845

>>15841

I don't have this one. Do we have new pictures?


 No.15846

>Fehu represents cattle the Norse symbol of wealth. This rune has some interesting implications based on the fact that cattle, unlike land, move about of their own accord. Cattle also reproduce, so this rune often speaks of wealth that renews or perpetuates itself. Wealth takes many forms, but this rune generally represents the value that is purely material or monetary in nature.

Either Dividends in the future or my cryptos go to stratossphere again

>This rune is historically symbolic of death, but, as in the Tarot and as suggested by the nature of the Yew tree itself, death is seen only as a transmutation of something eternal and unchanging - the spirit.

The 3rd rune is death apparently

I wanted to off myself on a remote mountain forest in summer time


 No.15847

>>15842

>fits like a glove

Anon, it fits like a glove only because it's a very expansive glove. Google "Cold Reading" and then Google "Target Chuting". What you are experiencing with the tarot cards are old psychological tricks wherein YOU fill in what is there. For example, when you learn to write scripts for movies, you learn about 'creating a scene.' Part of creating a scene involves USING WHAT IS ALREADY THERE, as in, most people bring their vague preconceptions with them, everywhere they go, and part of your job is to pick and choose the associations that will trigger the schema of which those preconceptions belong to, in order to create a scene. So, the tarot cards are 'true'', in a sense, but not for the reasons you think. They are only true mainly because they are vague and general. AND, most significantly, you are probably still very young and therefore highly gullible.


 No.15848

File: e1f86a4461c2e7e⋯.jpg (1.39 MB, 1920x1200, 8:5, pretty-girl-with-very-sad-….jpg)

>>15769

>I know it's pathetic but I admit I like broken beauties who are not afraid of violent acts

Isn't that everyone here, in their own way? I know we may not be classically beautiful, but to me the tragic has always had a beauty to itself, in and of its own. That which inspires tears always seems to be more artistically more prominent than any other art.


 No.15849

>>15848

sorry for the lack of eloquence, I am drunk


 No.15850

>>15847

valid, they are very vague and you can interpret it in many many ways so you start to think it is true

but this just the 2nd time I am surprised about this black magic stuff because the fortune teller knew me in and out without me even being there.

I wonder what she will tell me when I go meet her in May

I never believed in those voodoo black magic cult things but now I am kind scared

anyways it is 4AM here, Good night anons see you tomorrow


 No.15862

>>15848

I honestly don't know. There still might be beauty in the tragic, doomed and often disgusting world, maybe in melancholic way as when you listen to sad song while your home is burning down. Maybe it's even, in a weird way, source of comfort, that in discomfort of others we find ourselves, which is very perverted but conforming thing. Something wrong went with beautiful girl, there is your source of tragedy; but you might think she was better than most of people in a sense, because she wasn't normalnigger, but she killed herself - there is your source of conflict. Maybe I can just relate to these types, maybe I have this feeling of eternal savior who naively and pathetically through love wishes to save what can't be saved (and this is my source of eternal struggle in life, which is necessary for me to keep me going through life), most likely I'm just lonely fuck who yet and again sees that girls can share "our" problems but they off themselves. I guess for me it's yet again this vision of tragic existences living against all odds, suffering through life or just being lost; of course as a tragic story, this is it, but still I'm more mad people are like this, broken and without future. I don't want to complain, or just share my pains, I have plenty of justified anger in me as well; missing the beauty in darkness; and women -who are the beauties in darkness- who have something in common with me, have balls to pick up a shotgun and blow their brains out or try to shoot up something. Life was, is and will be struggle and the older I am, the less answers I have.


 No.15863

>>15862

She was probably a pretty fucked up person in reality, but it's easy to romanticize and construct a persona which seems appealing from a picture and a few sentences.


 No.15864

>>15863

Obviously but being naive romantic is nice (and sad) anyway. I'm not saying living with broken girl is heaven, it's more like hell, I know it, it makes no sense whatsoever but maybe I'm just sadomasochist or some shit.


 No.15865

>>15813

>And to think that an 18 yo girl had more guts to off herself than I have. Lol

this amazes me every time I read about teen suicide, In my teenage years, I didn't consider suicide for a second, even though shit was fucked then already.


 No.15892

>>15865

I feel you anon

for me it was always the normalshits who were all wrong

but when you grow up, you understand that you are the problem because you don't fit their world instead the other way around. It takes lots of guts to take a pump action into your hands and blow off your head with it

>considering suicide

I never considered it and thought it was retarded but some time around I hit 25 I understand that all the struggle is in vain so why bother existing anymore? Now I am in a grey zone. Too lazy to live life, too pussy to off myself. What a way to live …


 No.15893

>>15862

>girl

>not a complete normalshit

>unhappy, loveless

this is the tragedy

I bet she had a pure soul and was more humble than 85% of all normalshits who still breathe but of course it is always the good people good in the sense of honest, non-confrontational, would never want to hurt anyone who choose to die.

It is always the same type of person that ends this way and it is always that people regret it after it is too late …

Earth is a nigger

Normies are Ebola


 No.15897

I came to this thread to criticize the anons worshipping a stacy, but reading her diary just made me feel somewhat sorry for her.

Also, do you all really just discovered divination today? bunch of sheep.


 No.15900

>>15897

>discover divination today

it is not that I never knew about it beforehand

it is that I always thought it is sharlatanery and a joke

yesterday I did this reading a second time

for the second reading I put my IRL name into it

the results were morbid:

>Words that embody your presence are "Destruction".

>Words that embody things that may be a part of you are "Abuse, Blood,

>Bondage, Crime, Cycle, Evil, Famine, Fling, Fool, Ring, Sex, Son, Thief,

>Tree".

>Words that embody people or things in your periphery are "Biology, Clone,

>Contract, Creation, Danger, Emerald, Endurance, Enigma, Falsehood, Father,

>Freemasonry, Garden, Glass, Green, Harmony, Healer, Helix, Indigo,

>Indulgence, Jaguar, Judgment, Juxtaposition, Kiss, Laugh, Library, Loop,

>Lord, Matrix, Mentor, Muse, Night, Pattern, Pledge, Poem, Puppet, Rune,

>Science, Script, Silver, Speed, Spin, Storm, Teeth, Tequila, Terror, Thirst,

>Unicorn, Uranus, Violence, Whale".

It seems like fate is absolute and cannot be changed

Will be interesting at the fortune teller lady's …

>her diary

I tried to read it but I cannot decypher the scribbles

but the drawings look sad

>worshipping a stacy

she does not seem to fit the cheerleader stereotype at all


 No.15901

>>15900

>it is that I always thought it is sharlatanery and a joke

I'm still inclined to have this very opinion.

>she does not seem to fit the cheerleader stereotype at all

From some of her photos, it seems she might but it's difficult to tell with women. They go to party because their friends go, they don't want to be judged as outcasts, maybe that was her struggle and maybe it wasn't. She was young and I remember when I was in her age, I also went to parties even though I couldn't really enjoy it anymore. Then you come back home before morning and you feel like total lonely piece of shit with no one relatable near you. Funny that when you go socialize, it makes you even more alienated, quite opposite effect. But one anon above was right, like we have few pictures, her website and story from media and that's pretty much it.


 No.15902

>>15901

Anyway ugly women usually say we shouldn't judge book by the cover and that's exactly what we do with Sol here. I know, it's hard to believe such a good looking young girl could fight her own demons but this is reality as well. What would interest me is how many girls like her I judged wrongly and avoided them.


 No.15909

>ugly women usually say we shouldn't judge book by the cover

but women do the same for men most of the time

if both do it then it is fair in my book

>I judged wrongly and avoided them.

this is another problem with humans but a classic one

I explain with example of my sister (the other one, not the one I always talk about)

>be girl

>have no identity

>no hobbies

>no interests

>all you do entire day is faceberg and instagram

>and of course shopping

>luxury goods and fancy hand bags

>in flagship stores of big brand names

>outfit on avg worth 1K usd, 2K handbag

>anon today a guy approached me again

<good, news, you always complain there a NO guys AT ALL that talk to you notice the female mindset of foreveralone

>no I don't want THOSE guys

<so what was wrong with him

>it was one of those 35+ bankers in suit

<okay, and the problem is?

>they are all soul-less and only talk about their work funny for her to say this

tough luck princess, when you dress like a shallow materialist, people will expect you are one and think they can buy you

just like people rightfully expect me to be a slavic subhuman when they see me in adidas trackpants and black tshirt all day

I told her a gorillion times to join church or whatever club and socialize with the normies there and stop buying useless toys

she has been working for 4 years already and she has 1000$ on her account

I told her she will always be a slave and broke and when her boss ruins the company she works for she will be completely fucked


 No.15910

>>15909

I almost feel sorry for these kind of women because they live a lie until they reach 40 and suddenly they realize their entire existence just consisted of sucking corporate cock.


 No.15912

>>15910

yes you are right

and my cousin is same by the way. her guy friend told her once it is not good for getting hit on by guys if she and her girl friends all look so posh and shallow in the club with their designer handbags

She had a dozen guys into her but put her hopes in a banker jew who just dumped her shiksa ass and found a better fuckdoll.

now she cries how she is single when most of her friends live the normalfag life already

but the insane shit is once she said something like

>well, if I can't find a husband anymore then I just get a sperm donor

because yeah, children are just immortality projects for narcissistic stupid mothers, don't worry about the kid having no father around and asking him-/herself all life if daddy did not love him/her and why the other kids have both parents

fucking normies

this is why I say, after the next recession, buy up all the pharma stocks you can get for cheap. THose companies will be servicing 4 billion unhappy people with psychopharmaceuticals by year 2040. Society is fucked and it cannot be fixed. People will either selfdestroy, get hooked on pills or self medicate with THC


 No.15917

File: 3bc8a436907a05f⋯.png (46.33 KB, 569x571, 569:571, gorilla smashing screen.png)

>>15912

>well, if I can't find a husband anymore then I just get a sperm donor

fucking hell dude, this makes me mad. Any kid with such a mother will just end up as walking corpse.

t. single motherhood pro


 No.15929

>>15912

I'd be careful when investing in American Pharma; there is a push by "progressive" americans for greatly reduced pharmaceutical prices. Whether this change will come in the form of subsidies or pricing regulation will depend on the corporate tilt of the democratic party when they pass legislation. Consumer subsidies would be good as they encourage purchasing, however price regulation would be bad as they cut profits (these should be obvious). Another thing to consider is that they may come hand in hand; pharmaceuticals would be effectively subsidized consumer side if some form of medicare (single payer or two payer) came to pass in America, as more people can "afford" treatment, however such sweeping reform may also include further regulation.

Of course if any of this occurs prior to the next recession and it looks like no new policy will be instituted, go ahead and disregard this advice.


 No.15944

File: 83cf885a10bb42d⋯.jpeg (1.25 MB, 2544x3326, 1272:1663, page49.jpeg)

File: acb3d40fee9f87d⋯.jpeg (900.35 KB, 2609x3282, 2609:3282, page50.jpeg)

>>15813

>And to think that an 18 yo girl had more guts to off herself than I have. Lol

>>15865

>I didn't consider suicide for a second, even though shit was fucked then already.

"the matter of fact is i was unfortunate enough to be Sol. good for everybody who feels a sense of belonging in this world. good for everybody who could somehow want a future here. i think i have been around long enough to know i will never have that, nor will i ever want that. i know my time is running out and i am ensuring that my time is running out. life is so much easier when everything leads up to one day, one day which you know when will occur. to live life as if i had a future is the most exhausting thing i've endured. i'm glad i don't worry about that anymore. i see everything differently, i see this world through a different lens. not that i hadn't always seen it differently. in the last couple of years my perception of this life has intensified so much that I can barely even function on the day to day basis. i can't bring myself to care about the trivialities of everyday life. i can't bring myself to care about the lives of people i don't know, i can't bring myself to care about a higher education or a career. because i know the truth. i know something others don't and everyone else seems to know something i don't don't you see? there is no connection there. the disparity is too large to be ignored. this isn't the sort of thing you just 'live with'. there is no 'living' for me. i've spent my time here long enough to have realized the truth. i exist in this reality, but i do not belong to it."

There is some amazing stuff within her journal. She manages to perfectly verbalize a feeling that I think a lot of us have felt. + she has massive balls. winona is ironic, this girl is the real deal.


 No.15971

>>15944

these feels are hitting me hard, she could of been a future wife for any of us but she had to an hero herself


 No.15975

perhaps this was all just a psyop to fuck with us gen x doomers in particular


 No.15976

>>15909

>but women do the same for men most of the time

No, I didn't meant it to use it as fuel in women vs men fight but more like a idea for self-reflection.

>that example with sister

That's what I wrote about itt as something Sol might went through. She maybe attracted the wrong type of men or people in general, f.e. because of signals she might send to people, then she met yet another disappointment because she was inside different person than outside. And it's not so easy and obvious all the time like in case of your sister. Girls are under pressure and they don't really think that much, and especially young people too - both men and women. The problem is also a beauty right? From my point of view, even when I see pretty girl trying to look goth-ish, I always spontaneously think she is just pretending shit - BUT what if she isn't and she is trying to fit in among people who are same as her? That's what I meant by judging books by their covers, I do it spontaneously without thinking, I admit it. And people like this will always have it hard because not only you struggle with yourself but you wish to have one person who understands you and you wont find him because introverts don't go around picking up girls and randomly talking to them.


 No.15977

>>15910

Not everything is lost. I know plenty of girls who just gave up very very early and they found confidence in being themselves without all this fake glitter around them. It's still maybe rare but I guess zoomers will change a lot in this regard because they are even more depressed fucks.

>>15944

>i know my time is running out and i am ensuring that my time is running out.

The sad thing is I know this feel. I felt the same around her age and yet, here I am and I don't know why the fuck am I even still alive. It's never ending curse.

>i exist in this reality, but i do not belong to it.

Right into the fucking feels, this is fucked up. I knew she was one of us, I would gf'd her even if she would look like an orc. I don't know what is more pathetic, thinking I could make this type of girl to suffer less or desperately need one because I'm same broken fuck escaping from these thoughts with nothing but a stupid hopes.


 No.15985

>>15977

>Right into the fucking feels, this is fucked up. I knew she was one of us, I would gf'd her even if she would look like an orc. I don't know what is more pathetic, thinking I could make this type of girl to suffer less or desperately need one because I'm same broken fuck escaping from these thoughts with nothing but a stupid hopes.

the thing is about these kind of women you have to be completely attached because they're really really nuts but the catch 22 is at least for me they're the only type of women who hit me right in the feels, idk it was always very dysfunctional and unhealthy for me to be with a woman who was almost exactly like me


 No.15986

>>15864

>Obviously but being naive romantic is nice (and sad) anyway. I'm not saying living with broken girl is heaven, it's more like hell, I know it, it makes no sense whatsoever but maybe I'm just sadomasochist or some shit.

Do you attract these type of women into your life? I know that I have mostly and it never worked out, this time around I'm just looking for a normal plain Jane who isn't much of a personality but is a homebody and is easy to put up with.


 No.15992

>>15985

>you have to be completely attached

If I love, I'm attached (emotionally. you can do it without being her slave and cuck). That is not the problem. The real danger with unstable women is, which I'm fully aware of, is that what if I become less attached over time. Obsession is not a good thing, I'm just saying all you really have to do is to prevent doubt and insecurities to enter between two of you. And you can manage that very easily if your relationship is based on something deeper than attraction; and even better - if both of you have as less expectations as possible. I wouldn't bother with relationship where even elementary trust is impossible to achieve. First become friends, then try to go deeper, that was approach which always worked for me and I know it goes against everything imageboard coaches say but I have behind me few relationships which was built on this principle, they lasted for years and ended up either because I'm mess or because I failed to meet some expectations I found too irrelevant and shallow.

>>15986

>Do you attract these type of women into your life?

Yes I do, but be careful here because isn't "psycho" as "psycho". There are very large differences obviously. For example you probably wouldn't bother with some BPD girl. Some of those relationships can be very toxic, I'm not that naive to think it's beautiful, that's why I said it can often end up as disaster. It's something I have very hard time to describe which is maybe, honestly said, only proof that I really don't know what the fuck exactly I want. It's very hard to generalize this topic.

>normal plain Jane

Tried it, didn't worked out for me. I say that better be alone than to disappoint some woman yet again because she had different expectations, it's waste of our time. I know I can't change many things, I know girl like this can't really "fix me", that's why I'm convinced only option for men like me is to find someone who you can relate to and try to solve your common problems together. Even if you won't reach any solutions and you accept your state, if you are not alone for all this, you as couple has bigger chance to find at least few happy moments. And whatever the phrase "truly happy with someone" means, it's bunch of bullshit, love relationships are like any other relationship, even if that means just not to suffer all the time.


 No.15993

>>15992

Just a side note, I know I have very different experience with women than most of you do, it's totally fine, just don't take what I wrote as some universal truth or something, this stuff is very subjective.


 No.15995

>>15992

>For example you probably wouldn't bother with some BPD girl.

I probably would, I seem to attract them into my life but usually when they realize I'm actually not an asshole who'll abuse them they usually will fuck off on their own, those type of women thrive in codependent relationships, subconsciously I know getting with a BPD gal is doomed from the start but I do it anyway, eventually I'll figure out how to deprogram myself of this behavior and try to just find a plain jane who can at least cook and doesn't mind being at home, in this point of my life I could care less if she has a shit personality, probably best in my older years to settle down with a boring yet stable woman that wasn't molested by her dad and spent time in a mental institution.


 No.15996

>>15992

>First become friends, then try to go deeper, that was approach which always worked for me and I know it goes against everything imageboard coaches say but I have behind me few relationships which was built on this principle, they lasted for years and ended up either because I'm mess or because I failed to meet some expectations I found too irrelevant and shallow.

The problem for me is that I've became good friends but on a few occasions being that I'm a social retard who can't pick up on social cues, I would become afraid if I make a move it could ruin the friendship.

That was a long time ago though when I gave a fuck, the last time this happened to where I became friendzoned I finally had enough and cut the cunt off.


 No.15997

>>15992

>Tried it, didn't worked out for me.

I tried it early on, it could of worked out but I was still kinda young, she was just like an untrained puppy and I got annoyed, if I cared more about settling down at the time I probably would of married her and had a family, but in retrospect it worked out for the best. Maybe it will be years before I end up settling down, honestly a relationship is the last thing I care about right now.


 No.15998

>>15995

>I probably would, I seem to attract them into my life but usually when they realize I'm actually not an asshole who'll abuse them they usually will fuck off on their own,

I know few of them and I always try to push it into friendzone and then promptly disappear from their life. It's because my experience with them is they jump from one relationship to another, I don't know why but they do. They have very hard time maintaining some relationship, not just the romantic one and it's hard to do something while being randomly ghosted. Also the mood swings sometimes can be really extreme but I guess that's not such a big deal if you have patience and understanding.

>settle down with a boring

My point isn't excitement either. I hate those freaks who need traveling and constant stimuli in their life. I don't know how rare are your average janes you described but I'm being fool again, when I would like to see in women also something deeper (haha yes faggot >women >deep; get a load of this imbecile) and I've seen it in few women already, that they can even process what I say and not just listen and shrug shoulders. I don't say get a great thinker (you wont get it), I don't say it's a requirement or something, but Sol up here had something like that, I think, and it wasn't just random edgy depressed ranting without any substance.

>>15996

>I would become afraid if I make a move it could ruin the friendship.

Maybe because you are pressured to think you need a romantic relationship. With some girls it just wouldn't work no matter how good friends you are, so why to throw away friendship when you both know you would hate each other in relationship.

>>15997

>she was just like an untrained puppy and I got annoyed

Indeed, I was like this, you get a girl, you can shape her a bit here and there but older I am the less I'm willing to do this bullshit. Yet and again, rather I will be alone than have to raise adult woman. I'd rather argue with woman than having to shape her day by day into something, only so she can few years later tell you she changed, she don't like it and you had "bad" influence on her. Bunch of childish crap.

>honestly a relationship is the last thing I care about right now.

Same but I don't have many other useful things to do right now than to dream about unreal ideals and write about it.


 No.15999

>>15998

>Indeed, I was like this, you get a girl, you can shape her a bit here and there but older I am the less I'm willing to do this bullshit. Yet and again, rather I will be alone than have to raise adult woman. I'd rather argue with woman than having to shape her day by day into something, only so she can few years later tell you she changed, she don't like it and you had "bad" influence on her. Bunch of childish crap.

Now that I'm older I wouldn't be bothered by it if I were to find a woman years younger than I, it's why I'm working to get into a well off position to where I could support a woman thats somewhat young, maybe it's shallow on my part, I find myself only attracted to women in their early 20's, it's that or banging whores for the rest of my life which is better than settling down with some 40 something yr old clapped out roastie.


 No.16001

As of now, I don't see any sign that she went to Colorado for any reason other than to kill herself. There are no threats on her website, only morbid interests and the same kind of stuff I wrote in high school. Particularly those lyrics to the Downward Spiral, she would have been the ideal girlfriend then. Though, on second thought, they also thought I was planning something and diagnosed me with an "emotional disturbance" to keep me under watch. The whole thing seems overblown and sensationalized over nothing which makes me feel bad for her.

https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/undersheriff-teens-death-likely-preceded-colorado-manhunt


 No.16002

>>16001

>As of now, I don't see any sign that she went to Colorado for any reason other than to kill herself. There are no threats on her website, only morbid interests and the same kind of stuff I wrote in high school. Particularly those lyrics to the Downward Spiral, she would have been the ideal girlfriend then. Though, on second thought, they also thought I was planning something and diagnosed me with an "emotional disturbance" to keep me under watch. The whole thing seems overblown and sensationalized over nothing which makes me feel bad for her.

the whole thing reeks of a psyop just to mindfuck those of us from the colombine era, she reminded me of just about every nutty goth type chick that I dated throughout school


 No.16003

>>16002

Emotional terrorism is the new war tactic of modern era, I see.


 No.16004

>>15992

>First become friends, then try to go deeper, that was approach which always worked for me and I know it goes against everything imageboard coaches say

This is actually very good advice. Lots of relationships fail simply because they got together before they properly knew each other and of course it's a oh so big surprise when the pink glasses wear off and your new partner suddenly turns out to be not so perfect.

I think this is also why the "Friendzone" exists. If one side gets the impression that it won't work out anyway, there's no point in trying


 No.16005

>>16003

>Emotional terrorism is the new war tactic of modern era, I see.

I think this story really hit many of us deep in the feels, it did for me and I'm pretty detached tbh.


 No.16029

Her pussy could have made an anon happy.

What a waste.


 No.16052

>>15944

>I have no future

>i exist in this reality, but i do not belong to it."

Those hurt so much

and yes, you are right, she speaks right of my heart

>>15971

She anheroed to go to the otherworld and reserve the best tables for us when we join her. Then we can all together talk about normalshits and their rotten society.

>>15976

Now I understand what you meant

Always interesting to read about your life experiences

>>15999

>maybe it's shallow on my part, I find myself only attracted to women in their early 20's

just like all the other men as well except fetishists

there is nothing wrong with you desiring fertile partners for having shitloads of children with

Anyways, I have been listening to the songs that are linked on her website:

https://www.my90stv.com/#Xvo-bfaVsg0

Really gives me those nostalgic feels


 No.16060

File: 7e6571195eed0f3⋯.mp4 (6.56 MB, 1080x572, 270:143, 7e6571195eed0f3cd21ad536e2….mp4)

on bee someone posted this vid

good night sweet princess


 No.16062

>>16060

It's unreal how deep she was into that whole aesthetic. I admire that, she was also incredibly beautiful. Adding this to her website, her notes, thoughts/views, her drawings, fuck me mate she was ideal, and fuck this nigger existence, fuck everything about this world.


 No.16063

>>16062

I feel you BO-san


 No.16065

File: 0f7b907237f3ba9⋯.png (6.89 MB, 2000x2523, 2000:2523, 0f7b907237f3ba9dd6a0a4db22….png)

>go on /pol/

>sol thread

>find this

>see image

<well, she seemed to have at least 1 friend, just why

>spot dat accessoire

>Sol is wearing the bin Laden watch

it is not a black casio but this was a fine Lady anons

BO-san is right about her. What a waste seriously…


 No.16067

another thing for you anons who might not be aware.

Her website says

> keep an eye como criar um blog out for secret pages…

and there really are

when you click on the reaper you come to a poem

the animated book will lead you to a kind of digital diary contrary to her written one

the spiral thingy leads to another poem

then the "I found my soulmate" button. Some pol guys speculated it is connected to some tumblr account. Probably a friend or person she related to deeply. You see how fascinating this is, she hides easter eggs into her website for others to find. Why can't we have good things…


 No.16068

>>16065

Those are basically Casio F-91W, classic terrorwave watches, but with that different rim/band around hand (I don't know how it is called) but the functionality should be same. At least that's how it looks like, I know Casio is still making various variant of F-91W.

>>16067

>and there really are

I used wget to download everything but hadn't got time to fully explore everything, I go mainly back to few things. I don't even know if wget can get it if it's not linked through something.

Anyway guys fuck me right, fuck my life, existence and everything. I'm sitting here listening to Metallica's One on repeat (I don't know why I picked this dumb song), I'm going through her website, through photos, reading the suff, I think I'm in love with dead girl. How fucked up is that,… Sometimes I wonder if this will ever end one day.


 No.16070

File: 2288eed85fc2df1⋯.jpg (49.88 KB, 572x346, 286:173, 1449375994335.jpg)

>le bin Ladin watch

yes this is the silver aluminum variant that I have seen already in stores

the one I have is the black rubber variant

and a girl I knew from college had the gold aluminum variant

>I think I'm in love with dead girl. How fucked up is that,

Maybe your waifu found you. A rare 3D variant


 No.16071

>>15808

Where'd you find that.


 No.16072

>>16070

Those classic ones, plastic, are very cheap, I don't know why should I buy more expensive variant, I don't like gold as well. Kinda side fact, I think obama had ones as well.

>Maybe your waifu found you. A rare 3D variant

I never asked for this, fuck this timeline.


 No.16073


 No.16074


 No.16075

>>16072

love is love anon, you cannot hide from it

embrace it

>t. guy who is in love with a video game character


 No.16076

from her digital diary

>SEPTEMBER 13, 2018

>i wish i could just hide myself away from any and all who know me. i

>wish i could hide myself out of sheer embarrassment

>of the person that i am; just an incomplete, pointless, disappointing being who

>doesn’t belong even in the slightest

>SEPTEMBER 4, 2018

>i wish i could distance myself from everybody in this fucking world, as

>far away as possible from this poison that is the

>human race. i can’t stand anybody that surrounds me, i don’t wanna

>hear anymore human’s voices

>AUGUST 20, 2018

>i just have this terrible fucking feeling that i can’t

>get rid of and i’ve never felt it before and it just will not go

>away. i feel finished. i feel gone already, i am going

>to be gone soon. my spirit cannot handle this weight, this life; i can’t

>do it anymore i can’t do this i am fucking miserable. how do i explain

>something so unexplainable… i am too jaded, too ready to die. i can’t live in

>this discomfort on this earth anymore. i just can’t.

>AUGUST 14, 2018

>i feel below everybody else in this life. i feel like nothing, like

>dust, living in this world. i feel like a fucking idiot, like

>everybody and everything is laughing at me, pitying me. just a lone speck of worthless

>dust, floating aimlessly, constantly in pain. below everybody else.

>not belonging, no purpose, wasting my breath, every day. everybody

>is laughing at me. i’m already fucking fading away.

I see myself in so many of her postings.


 No.16083

sounds like you guys are OBSESSED


 No.16084

>>16083

oh no, you found us out

now we have to convert you


 No.16131

so I read a resumee on what happened this week:

>She does not come to school on Monday

>Instead boards a flight to Colorado

>she bought 3 tickets for 3 successive days

>but no ticket for going back home

>She arrives in Colorado by afternoon

>buys pump action and 2 boxes of ammo

>at a store near columbine high school ironically

so basically if she wanted to, she could have caused a scene at columbine

>she proceeds her journey to Mt. Evans

>she finds some rideshare driver that drives her to the Mt. Evans exit, 56km away from littleton

>police interviewed the driver and he told

<she said she wanted to see snow

>she had her bag, a gun case but no tent or winter gear

>no car, no bike, no sleeping gear

>clothed in a black tshirt and camo pants only

>on a remote mountainside forest at 11'000 ft elevation

>with snow and probably subzero temperatures

>she probably shoots herself monday evening

>on wednesday they find her

>“There was a little flat spot in the woods, and that’s where we found Ms. Pais,” Snelling said. “It was isolated and off the beaten path. It was peaceful. She was by a tree stump. Everything she had brought with her was in arm’s length of her.”

>a few hours later it starts to snow. If they didn't find her she would have been under snow until summer

I only hope she did not suffer when she was up there. I hate coldness it is really a nasty feel. I hope she did not freeze.

What also fascinates me was that she seemed to be on some kind of FBI watchlist or something. Feds knew what she posted and thought she was going to shoot up the place and of course all those super smart profilers failed but of course they thought offering her a counsellor or at least some FBI nigger posing as a fellow hopeless to talk to never crossed their mind.

Fucking statist scum. Incompetent at everything.

And as there was no cellphone signal up there she could have not even known FBI niggers were hunting her down.

It is very frightening how she exactly did it how I envisioned my end since 2017.

Alone on a mountain forest with hopefully nobody finding my body before insects and animals eat me and move my bones over the entire place. I would toss my cell phone into a river and dispose of all cards or any identifying items.

I think she also wanted to not be found. Parents declared her missing and I think she didn't even say goodbye nor left a letter.

Sad when FBI ruins your peaceful plans in such a way.

I hope she saw snow and finally found peace.

The place sounds very peaceful indeed.

April 15th will be remembered as a bad day.


 No.16138

File: 4a453fc2bd0f4ed⋯.jpg (140.47 KB, 800x600, 4:3, 2001-06_-_Echo_Lake_Park_f….jpg)

some images


 No.16142

File: 32a9357d44928df⋯.jpg (1.96 MB, 3456x2304, 3:2, 2006-07-16_Summit_Lake_Par….jpg)

so peaceful


 No.16146

File: 51783a09292fc5b⋯.jpg (2.64 MB, 4000x3000, 4:3, Summit_Lake2.JPG)


 No.16152

File: 073cb8bed78664c⋯.jpg (4.49 MB, 3264x2448, 4:3, Mt_Evans.JPG)

the peak


 No.16358

>>16083

>sounds like you guys are OBSESSED

This is looking like the glowfaggots at Langley wanted to fuck with our heads with this recent psyop right before the 20th anniversary of the Columbine Massacre. They killed her to send a message to us on a very deep emotional/psychological level for lolz.


 No.16359

>>15975

Sheesh, ikr?


 No.16407

>>16358

>Obsession

Well, call it whatever you want. For me it is just that I noticed so many similarities, how she felt the same inside like I feel, how she was better off in life good looking, still young, can study whatever she wants in college, can learn any trade she wants, still could unfuck her life and yet she prefered the final voyage.

Because that feeling is so hard to descirbe. When you feel that something is not right. When you don't belong to the planet. When there is nothing for you to do, nowhere to belong, why bother with daily life at all? If you have no future, why keep on struggling?

Then the place she chose to die. In 2017 I posted on /suicide/ that I wanted to die on a mountain forest in summer. For a while I wanted to buy an appartement or house in such a region because I like snowy sceneries and fresh air and I would not have to travel there for the deed. Also possibility to explore the region long enough to find a comfy place. So I guess in a way, she reminded me of that again. I guess I will end up buying a property on a mountain resort and live there for a few years. Then when my savings run our or when I get bored of life enough I will most likely do the same as she did. Either by 9mm or hibachi.

>they killed her

dead but never forgotten


 No.16411

>>16407

She preferred the final voyage because she's conscious of the fact that life can't be unfucked once you know how shit life actually is. Like she said, she's in reality but doesn't belong to it, and she never can be. The conclusion is that she did was what all of us are too cowardly to do.


 No.16427

>>16065

I found out something about this girl (left)

She is the online friend of Sol. They met each other in 2017 through a mutual friend and apparently they visited each other. The blonde came to FLorida and Sol went to visit her in Michigan. Makes sense now.

At first I thought if she had photos with her she at least had 1 friend but when your friend is on the other side of the country that does not help you much. These photographs are from Summer 2018 btw. It seems like they did not have that much contact since then.

Then the other alias that seemed to be linked to her. Maybe it is an older one

https://lonelyangel444.tumblr.com/

This seems like a guest book she used:

https://dissolvedgirl.123guestbook.com/#

Good night princess


 No.16433

>>16411

>conscious of the fact that life can't be unfucked once you know how shit life actually is

It's truly like a ghost that will haunt you forever. Even if you get again better, if you again find motivation and willpower to keep on going, one day it will hit you again and yet again you will ask why do you even live. It's unavoidable.

>>16427

>all that hate in her guestbook after her death

Humans are scum and I hope some illness will just wipe us all. She was right. I have to uncuck myself from care about humans because I can't stand anyone, it's just one disappointment after another.


 No.16443

>>16411

>>16433

That brings to question, what do people like us have that the mindless happy go lucky cattlehumans don't have? Why can they see all this optimism while all we see is the bad things.

I mean, no matter what society I were, no matter what social role I had. I doubt I could shake this melancholy off of my ass.

>>16433

Allow me to quote from the hidden page I mentioned a few days ago:

>"One hundred and fifty years of metaphysical rebellion and of nihilism have witnessed

>the persistent reappearance, under different guises, of the same

>ravaged countenance: the face of human protest. All of them, decrying the human

>condition and its creator, have affirmed the solitude of man and the nonexistence

>of any kind of morality. But, at the same time, they have all tried to construct a purely terrestrial

>kingdom where their chosen principles will hold sway. As rivals of the Creator, they

>have inescapably been led to the point of reconstructing creation according to their own concepts.

>Those who rejected, for the sake of the world they had just created, all other principles but desire

>and power, have rushed to suicide or madness and have proclaimed the apocalypse. As for the rest, who

>wanted to create their own principles, they have chosen pomp and ceremony, the

>world of appearances, or banality, or again murder and destruction."

> - Albert Camus, The Rebel

Especially these:

>All of them, decrying the human condition and its creator, have affirmed the solitude of man and the nonexistence of any kind of morality

>Those who rejected, […] , have rushed to suicide or madness and have proclaimed the apocalypse

>As for the rest, […] , they have chosen pomp and ceremony, the world of appearances, or banality, […]

Sums up todays normie society perfectly

And yes you are right. Those comments you see is the /pol/uters. There is a 2nd thread about her on pol and they believe it is a false flag. Girl just wanted to end her life where her idols did. Not even after her death normies show dignity.


 No.16448

>>16444

hello newfriend

>not gr8 t8ste

sure thang buddy, natural born killers and taxi driver is what all the normies are watching


 No.16450

>>16443

>Why can they see all this optimism while all we see is the bad

It's not like they see the optimism, it's just that they don't solve questions that we do. I don't think it's bad or good, I just don't know. Normal person isn't spending too much time thinking about crap in his life, he isn't bothered by anything as long as he has food, roof above is head and new iPhone to take those sweet photos on sns.

>false flag

/pol/ is retarded. you have dead teen here, a girl which was thinking differently and they will make even from this political psyop stuff. I don't care if this is some FBI CIA chess play, she is dead.


 No.16453

>>16450

spoiled little witchboy pampered by private school pouting like a little bitch.

this chick has more T than you do sodomite.


 No.16454

>>16453

quick edit posts and ban people who know what a pussy you are

(t. assblasted /pol/ack kys)

 No.16455

>>16454

>/pol/ack

imagine using this an an insult here. so edgy bro. let me know when you actually see your first black female.

(another proxy added to the list, thank you)

 No.16456

>its a VPN fag

I hope he does not have the same as I do …


 No.16561

File: 7b36609030e6647⋯.mp4 (11.53 MB, 640x360, 16:9, persona snow queen.mp4)

BO-san, I listened to your mixtape now. Here are my favorite songs:

>Seether Fine again

>Sun Kill Moon Carry me Ohio

>Lush Light form a Dead Star

>Alice in Chains Down in a hole

>Misfits Dig up her Bones

Thank you BO, now I have new bands to pirate

Fast songs are best songs

vid related is a song I found 2 days ago on /v/

Song is called "Snow Queen" and fits her circumstances of death


 No.16572

>>16561

Those were pretty much my alt-rock radio favorites c. 2000. Having a car without a tape deck or a CD player condemned me to listen to stations with 'X' or 'edge' in their names.

'Fine Again' is an underrated song.


 No.16573

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

THE TRUTH FINALLY EXPOSED


 No.16579

>>16561

Glad you "enjoyed" it. At least something positive I did in my life I guess. Thanks for sharing that one.

>>16573

Sorry, I don't have will to listen to this thing. I just can't. I don't know what is this nigresses point and she is talking for 5 minutes already. Also I don't want to listen to any other christian prophecy nuttalks. I don't care anymore for the society, the world died for me, I don't care about what will happen, not about your psyops.


 No.16581

>>16579

This was just a joke, bro…

This pastor is retarded.


 No.16844

>tfw no manic doomer nightmare girl


 No.16853

>>16579

It's just a crackhead from the shitty parts of the NE-US. They will attack you after babbling about insane shit or for any reason really.


 No.16871

>>15912

>because yeah, children are just immortality projects for narcissistic stupid mothers,

thats what kids are lol. also for fathers


 No.16925

>>16871

Sure, children are immortality projects of normies but

Look, what makes me mad is that she does not even really want children because she wants to be a mother or something. I feel like she only wants to have something to post about on instergram and not feel she is losing to those other bitches who are living the happy normalfag life. Because these unmarried older girls are every day bombareded by postings of their peers who are married and having children while they have nothing to show for.

On top of that she is sometimes like a child in her head. I mean really really stupid things. Like when she cooks noodles she leaves the lid on the pot and everything starts bubbling and leaves an entire mess. Or that one time when my sister went to visit her. They bought ice cream and she wanted to put the rest they had into to fridge instead of the freezer.

I mean when you are adult woman you cannot do this shit anymore and expect people to have understanding for your stupidity. And this is the next generation of mothers in spe …

And I don't even understand how she wants to do this even with some guy who is retarded enough to impregnate her. She has a paper shuffler job at some office that is probably going to be automated away in 5 years. And yes, she needs income because she has a mortgage for an appartement she bought. No foresight whatsoever

>>16579

>I don't care anymore for the society, the world died for me

Strong words but I feel same anon.

But also dead inside…


 No.16926

File: cffc5d0ed3c79e2⋯.png (193.17 KB, 1326x1349, 1326:1349, Rest_in_Peace,_Lonely_Ange….png)

>when youre VPN connection just stops out of nowhere and you need to switch because the server in reykyavik is not responding

I really feel like CIA is spying on me

Especially now that 8chan is so slow after Jim installed all this spyware for FBI to spy on future Brenton Tarantinos

>>16573

>>16573

I scrolled through jewtube after searching Sol Pais and guess what you find

one gorillion news videos about her every news station showing the same crap and talking how dangerous she was, quoting her

>be the best killer you can be

>gun, skull, knife drawings

>her "dark" homepage

but not a single one of them tried to dig deeper. Nobody pointed out that she was not doing well for a long time. Instead they paint her to be a monster or something

Fuck those jewrnalist whores. nobody cared about her. they only care about delivering the next big story for fame.

But there was an interesting thing. On one of her handwritten entries, they deciphered something that I previously could not read into liek:

>and finally I am getting ahead with my plans. I spend my birthday now with getting rid of my material stuff and planning my end

another similarity with me. I am currently getting rid of many of my useless junk that has been lying around for years.

I can identify with her and her struggles on many levels and it is so sad to see her being painted as some monster. Dear politicos, if she really wanted to shoot normalfags, she would have done it.

So anyways, there are people reading her diary entries, this is a comfortable way to find out what she wrote

and I also found a ledditor who wrote her a letter. gonna check this out too


 No.16927

>>16926

>one gorillion news videos about her every news station showing the same crap and talking how dangerous she was, quoting her

>they only care about delivering the next big story for fame.

Those people can eat my 2 months old dry cum, I don't give a shit, I will love her forever. Daycattle is not even worth to be a cannon fodder anymore, they are just surplus, the smegma of the life on Earth which should be washed away.

Nobody in this day and age will admit they don't understand something. I'd rather hear from people they don't get her, they don't understand, rather than creating all this hatred and psycho stories about broken girl who did nothing but took her holy right to decide what to do with her life.


 No.16928

>>16926

That letter is actually really nice. And also as person who has problems to explain things in one plain sentence, I never though about that her journal wasn't really that long but it said a lot.


 No.16931

File: 5911c5d337fb03c⋯.jpeg (1.42 MB, 2567x3275, 2567:3275, page27.jpeg)

>>16927

>the smegma of the life on Earth which should be washed away.

I love you BO-san

you have this talent of painting with words

metaphors and comparisons

one can see you have an artistic side

However, I think I have bad news for you. I am researching her diaries now. It seems that your waifu has already had a husbando. And I already have a suspicion who it might have been. This letter is so beautiful, words could never describe it. I am an expert for this stuff because I write tons of cheesy stuff myself. Now this brings the question, why did CNN not show a scan of this page to normalcattle? She was full of love but had no way to let her love out.


 No.16934

File: 74752c9402fe81d⋯.jpeg (1.3 MB, 2548x3411, 2548:3411, page28.jpeg)

Then also I saw another jewtube video about some guy who wrote a book on Columbiners. The topic was

>ever increasing interest is coming to school shooters

>especially from the young female demographic

>how does that come Mr. bookwriter?

<in the past years there has been an idealization of the bad boy type

once again some sharlatan who knows nothing. Neither Eric nor Dylan were bad boys. When you look at their body language in their videos, you can see they had giantic insecurity. They were edgy at best.

This fag does not understand that modern day turbonormification is destroying weirdo women even faster than men because men just tell society to fuck themselves while women crave this social validation much more. Then they read about school shooters and finally they can relate to someone and feel understood.

Then also I noticed another thing about Païs. Do you see how she writes her diaries? Especially the i letter. Whenever she talks about herself, she writes the I as a small i. She must have had enormous self esteem issues. Why is it always people with high intellect like her having these problems.

Fuck this gay planet. Why can't normalfags just be on another planet or dimension they have to ruin everything


 No.16936

File: bb09674e0c0cd70⋯.jpeg (1.44 MB, 2620x3474, 1310:1737, page29.jpeg)

and just to point that out, our sunshine was well aware of the normie problem:

>june 24 2018

>most of my anger is routed in seeing the awful unfairness of the world

>the stupidity that surrounds me

>It's too bad people can't be punished for being fucking stupid

>people who are pure followers

>people who don't think

>people who are apparently unaware that they posess a brain

>people who judge ?? from the norm

>living in a quite liberal place and going to a quite liberal school

>but no it's not about acceptance here

>you can only be different if you are cool and trendy

>more liberalism does not equal less stupidity

>everywhere you go you will find stupid people, they are just stupid in different ways

>I cannot belong here, maybe not even anywhere

>constantly fucking annoyed, angry, sick of everybody

>sick of people who won't let me live the way I need to

>if 90% of the people in the world died, we would be better off

>it's too bad the ratio is fucked up anyways so even the 10% left will likely be stupid as well

this is what I love about the handwritten format. For example here you can really feel her hatred building up towards the end of the letter.

Girl was 10/10 enlightened and once again I have to mourn for what a precious soul we lost last week. She was worth a million normalfags at least.


 No.16938

>>16931

>It seems that your waifu has already had a husbando.

Waifu is maybe strong word my friend, what interests me more is even though she had loved one, why she did what she did. She wrote there she knows he love her. What is that I'm missing here? I don't mean you can't be suicidal even in relationship but I think I'm missing deeper backstory of course.

>>16934

>especially from the young female demographic

So now young girls will start dying but media will keep telling us the evil white boys are the problem?

>They were edgy at best.

Let's be honest as well. It's truth some young people are mature inside sooner but most of the time they miss a lot of connections. When I was that young, I was totally different person. The only reason why I didn't shoot up my school was because I had no gun but I was thinking about it often. Maybe perspective is the right word - media are trying to make from these young people cold killers while they don't even have life perspective. Instead of looking on system and admitting it's totally not working, it's in fact ruining young people and turning them into useless pieces of meat, we call those who are not able to conform and deal with things a problematic, psychopaths, and whatever else. I went through the same crap, didn't we all? Nobody ever asked me what the fuck is going on with me, I had to just shut the hell up and only thing keeping me alive was that I was making music and poetry, feeling totally alienated intellectually and spiritually from the rest of the world/people.

>Do you see how she writes her diaries?

That's actually nice find, it's sort of common though. The way how you write words and sentences say a lot. I don't know if Baudelaire didn't started it in a sense (not sure though) that if you for example ever use punctuation marks and capital letters, they could be used to put emphasis on anything, etc. I still write with this in mind, not here though, here I don't have time to think much. If I write some poems or "blogs" for myself (as diary or i dont know how should I call it, for random thoughts). I stack sentences together by their meaning, also for example I use dot rather when I finish some idea rather than sentence, I use semicolon to separate two unrelated ideas somehow related together, etc. I'm well aware of this and I didn't notice she put emphasis even on this.


 No.16940

>>16938

I would like to add though, that I really miss who I was. Yes, I was totally alone, sometimes I thought maybe I'm just some spirit rather than human (I know it's maybe retarded but I sometimes feel like that even now), no one could relate to my worldview, I understood nothing BUT from this darkness I was able to craft something useless but beautiful. I felt as if I don't know what the hell should I do on this world but I somehow went through it. Now I'm more understanding that existence is a nigger, I know I'm not alone (which is not a positive thing), but I have no creative ability anymore. Something broke inside of me and I can't get out of me any emotions other than anger. Maybe she did it in the right time, I'm afraid nothing would get better. Media often try to portray this as some kind of edgy phase as well, as if those kids would grow up and get over it. No niggers, it gets only worse. I'm here, I still don't know why the fuck am I here, I can only look to people around me who were "normal" but are coming to sad realizations and I don't know if I should even do something about it. Melancholy turned into disgust, sadness into anger. One day I will die for nothing, even without hope if I even desire afterlife. I just wish nothing would exist. Creation was a mistake.

>>16936

>you can only be different if you are cool and trendy

Damn right on point.

>I cannot belong here, maybe not even anywhere

>constantly fucking annoyed, angry, sick of everybody

>if 90% of the people in the world died, we would be better off

Fucking bullseye.


 No.16941

File: 2a57804e9615378⋯.jpeg (976.06 KB, 2467x3182, 2467:3182, page35.jpeg)

>I'm as hollow as the "o" in God

>dat word play

BO-san, she liked to paint with words as well

>july 14th 2018

>I had a dream last night about the future … eyeopening …

>I was only a week away from the day

>I had my fucking shotgun ready and I just remember the constant lies

>to my family, friends, police, teachers,

>the fucking stress of it all

>but the most important part was knowing that it didn't really matter

>just soon everything would all be the way it should be

>that was the first dream I really had about that day

so she knew last summer already that she was gonna off herself


 No.16945

File: fc4bb4f7396975e⋯.webm (9.88 MB, 640x360, 16:9, reb vodka.webm)

>>16938

Anon, you don't seem to understand

She was in love with Eric Harris the short hair handsome guy

I mean, when you look at the letter, she redacted the name but she likes to use broad spaces between words and she probably redacted more space away than necessary for making the name unreadable. But this really tells much of her. She was so insecure that she did not even have the courage to upload the unredacted love letter that she dedicated to her husbando.

And I use the terms waifu/husbando here loosely because in essence a waifu is similar to a dead person you are in love with. They could never love you back. So it is more like a form of worship than love. Maybe worship is the highest form of love anyways.

>The only reason why I didn't shoot up my school was because I had no gun but I was thinking about it often.

that thought never crossed my mind. You see I am 100% beta faggot who will run away instead fight the normies with force

> young people cold killers

they were not ice cold psychopaths. There was one kid that survived columbine by acting like a dead guy. He heard them speak.

They would let some people escape. For example in library they found 2 students. They were apparently from their class and they never bullied them. They thought they are gonna die. Then Harris tells them

>listen guys, you have 2 minutes to leave, we are blowing the entire building up

<but why do you spare us

>you have never been bad to us

and funny how being a decent human being can be rewarded in the most interesting circumstances

luckily for the normalfags, the giantic bomb they planted did not blow up so the damage was not that high

>admitting it's totally not working,

nononono

we already talked about this. Heroin, Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Doom and Natural Born Killers is responsible for this mess.

How could our perfect normie society ever be wrong? That would mean we would actually have to change something instead of just kicking the can like we always had.

>I went through the same crap, didn't we all? Nobody ever asked me what the fuck is going on with me, I had to just shut the hell up and only thing keeping me alive was that I was making music and poetry, feeling totally alienated intellectually and spiritually from the rest of the world/people.

I just wanted school to end. I was happy once I was out so I could focus on making monies

Problem was I lost my soul in the process and now everything I do is worthless

But yes, alienation is what is destroying so many people today and in a few years you will get more of those incidents


 No.16946

File: d2a51a8265dc97f⋯.jpeg (1018.28 KB, 3136x2476, 784:619, page37.jpeg)

she was golden:

>I'm supposedly living around the best possible group of people, best environment, the best school

>Yet, everybody is still a complete piece of fucking shit with no brain!

>It's incredible how this is the best manking can do

>I can't stand around anybody, truly.

>I can't stand to be around these materialistic square pieces of shit

>Skewed fucking morals, no sense of reality - this is fucking everybody around me

>And then they turn around and make me look like the crazy one

>Fuck all of you. You're fucking pathetic and I almost feel bad for you

>That I admit.

>You fucking deserve it

and normalfags are allowed to continue breathing …


 No.16947

>>16945

Oh I see now. Thanks for the "expertise" by the way.

>in essence a waifu is similar to a dead person you are in love with

I can't describe it, I guess we all understand it. I'm at the same very angry as if they took away somebody I knew for all of my life. I can't help myself, maybe one day I will write her a song.

>that thought never crossed my mind.

It would be maybe useless anyway. I don't even know why I thought about it so much, it wasn't pure hate, it wasn't sadness, i didn't even expected it would solve anything or make me feel better. With perspective I gained over years, it's almost as if I had brain fog, it was pure emotional thing without any specific emotions involved.

>they were not ice cold psychopaths

Of course not, that's what also makes me so frustrated, because I know they were no monsters. She said it correctly, you can be different only if you still fit in. That's the root of the problem. You have kids who live different life, who have deeper inner world, who are in some way different, who feel things differently, this is not welcomed. This only makes them more alienated because it's deep thing, it's not some "bad habit" you can change. You can shape mindset to a degree but you can't replace the whole personality, and this is what are they trying to do. Many of us went through this and it just didn't worked. You are a bad seed and they will get rid of you, if school won't, the years in productive age will. The whole system is set up this way. As I say, they did crucial mistake when they took everything from us.


 No.16948

>>16946

>Fuck all of you. You're fucking pathetic and I almost feel bad for you

She was way stronger than I ever was though. How to unlove mankind, that's what I'm learning from her. I was cucked by the ideas of christianity in my early age, show other cheek, wish your neighbor as you would wish yourself, etc. Much later than she did, I also had to wake up to this realization.


 No.16950

>>16948

How to lose mercy, how to lose grace, how to lose this fake moral high ground I believed I had, how to get rid of this weakness, how to stop being a slave of your own spooks. It seems after all, I didn't learned from Stirner anything.


 No.16952

File: 3d5986615acac2a⋯.jpeg (1.27 MB, 3559x2639, 3559:2639, page46.jpeg)

>I'm so fucking tired

>I'm so tired

>I feel immobile and stuck, frozen and helpless

>when all I want is to go somewhere else and be where I'm supposed to be

>I think I used to have a voice

>Now I never make a sounds

>I can't remember how this got started

>But I can tell you exactly how it will end

probably a few lines from a Nine Inch Nails song (she drew the logo below the lines)

>August 14, 2018

>Waking up to this nightmare every day

>The ache is always there

>I can't do anything, I can't get rid of it, this ache.

>I'm not fucking depressed, this is how my soul just is

>This is what happens when you place a soul in the wrong reality

>This despreate aching feeling of unhappiness and doom

>It's something new every day hurting me

>Anxiety just doesn't fade. THis material life isn't for me

>But I don't know what is for me anymore

>So much to do, clocks never stop ticking

>So much to fucking do and

>So much to worry about

>This life is a punishment

>This world is hell

dat feel when you are incompatible with normalfag society

iktf sis


 No.16954

>>16947

I am not sure if it is Eric indeed. It might be Dylan as well but my theory is that she felt a connection to them and Eric was the leader guy while Dylan was more of the follower type of guy. The thing was that Eric and Dylan felt the same way she felt. That is the connection here. No matter which one it is, I am sure, she is now with them. They are surely having a good time now watching all the normalfags chasing dragons they can never have.

>You are a bad seed and they will get rid of you, if school won't, the years in productive age will. The whole system is set up this way.

because in essence normalfags are tribal animals

if you are different to the tribe, then you are a threat. If you can't find people like yourself to form a tribe with, well, tough luck. Nobody gives a flying shit.

The worst lesson I had to learn in life is that high school never ends. The normalfaggotry just gets more opaque.

>sorry mister, we cannot emply you because you DON'T FIT OUR TEAM

so you either play a role your entire life to make normies like you or you drop out of society completely

>>16948

Of course she was

I will probably be an old fuck by the time I finally reach a point where my life is shitty enough to justify offing myself. Yet here we had this girl who did it on a whim and not only that, her plan worked perfectly without one single interuption. And yes, what you said previously about shit only getting worse is true for most of us. If you are a loser type at age 13, you will stay one forever. Normies have this incredible skill of smelling who is genetic waste by normie standards and who is clique material

so basically life itself is the biggest escapism from death


 No.16957

File: c92549ea8f2cd1d⋯.jpeg (1.01 MB, 2536x3296, 317:412, page48.jpeg)

More stuff hinting towards my Eric/Dylan theory:

>9/11 2018

>Ooooh god, I wanna be dead so fucking much already

>I can't explain the way I feel

>Everything seems so much brighter on the other side

>I see in the horizon of my mind

>Somehow, this shining light, this bright world where everything feels sure

>No doubts, just love, the one I love

>It just seems so much broghter on the other sode

>I can see it now in my minds eye

>I have never seen it like this before

>Like I've unlocked a new ability seeing into the future

>How can I describe it… I see a real horizon in my mind and I see clouds so bright in the sky

>I see it, sunlight everywhere… The clouds are glowing

>Like on some mornings and There's techno playing in the background

>So much brighter on the other side

Her handwriting is very calm here, you can really feel the happiness she felt while writing this

I mean, she even drew a heart and a happy face


 No.16961

>>16954

>Normies have this incredible skill of smelling who is genetic waste by normie standards and who is clique material

Normalcattle respect authority they can follow. Many of them are starting to lose ground under their feet because with progressive stuff a lot of normies got suddenly under fire as well. They are starting to become less and less happy imo and they would wish someone would drag them out of this mess.

>you get totally rekt because you told boss or teacher truth about some situation nobody wanted to say

>normalniggers are quiet

>after while when boss/teacher leaves, they come to you and tell you how great is somebody was courageous enough to say it

<well what do I get from your support when no one stood behind my back when I needed it?

This happened pretty frequently to me because I was that idiot with too big of a mouth and it's not better now. Not only they have no character, they do not hesitate to stab you into back just so they can get some normiepoints. You come sooner or later to conclusion that yours and their world are incompatible. You wish you could never encounter them and maybe you have one ally, and that is your friend on other side of continent you chat once a while via internet.

>>16957

I haven't cried, it hasn't rained on me

cause I can't believe you actually died.

I haven't tried cause you're not dead, you're free.

and I know that you're happy there

even though I don't know where

The Other Side. The side I try to see.

I can't believe you actually died.


 No.16962

File: 3931a7f898fbed7⋯.jpeg (1.08 MB, 2463x3252, 821:1084, page53.jpeg)

>Sept 23th, 2018

>I don't wanna live in this misery and coldness anymore

>Oct. 14th, 2018

>on 2nd page

>I'm so tired tired tired tired tired tired tired

you can really feel her frustration out of the way she wrote that part

really powerful


 No.16965

>>16961

>Normies being spineless dog-humans

more news at 9 o clock

but at least he had the guts to tell you how he felt about it. Some even don't have that much dignity

And that is a nice poem you wrote. I will write something for her as well.

>She sure was a good girl, she was too pure and one of us

>Depression's a mood swirl, and normies are so obnoxious


 No.16966

>>16965

Nah man, it's from the last song on that mixtape, it reminded me it after her words about seeing the other side and how she's free. It's tough because there are people like that, you wish them to hold even though they do not belong here. Only if those people could find each other, so at least they wouldn't go lonely.


 No.16968

File: d525233c9cfe1a7⋯.jpeg (1.13 MB, 2392x3168, 299:396, page56.jpeg)

This one is from Nov. 26th 2018

>there's no life, no lifestyle that I would ever be happy with

>nothing that could fulfill me, I know there isn't

>the only difference between me and everybody else is that I chose to follow my instincts while everyone else is ready to settle for mediocrity


 No.16969

File: 3526bc5d356cc5a⋯.jpeg (1.2 MB, 2477x3251, 2477:3251, page57.jpeg)

Then she seems to go silent for some time

She probably had a positive episode

Then apparently at Feb. 1st 2019 she gets worse again

she writes how something bad happened and time is running out

I wonder what happened in that time.


 No.16971

File: 636559a63a1a6ce⋯.jpeg (1.14 MB, 2493x3384, 277:376, page58.jpeg)

2nd page

>I'm back to planning and organising again

>I basically spent the first few hours of my birthday, cleaning through my belongings in preparation of my death

I wonder if Feb 1st was her bday and what might have caused this stress in the last few weeks. she also has a digital diary and I will check that tomorrow too. maybe it has entries between november and february. But yea, people get winter depression as well. maybe it intensified her situation further. poor girl

>>16966

oh right, I felt like I heard that somewhere

but I will dedicate a song to Sol anyways and if you write one I hope I get to see it


 No.16972

File: 5d757423db424c3⋯.jpeg (797.57 KB, 2572x3443, 2572:3443, page61.jpeg)

this was the last thing she posted

from her handwriting you can tell she felt some kind of ease

I wonder if that is the kind of lightness that people notice in people who kill themselves slowly after that gets noticed

Like they feel like finally everything is over

Good night sweet princess,

I hope you are happy where you are now and that you found that place that you have been looking for


 No.16973

>>16971

>anyways and if you write one I hope I get to see it

Hopefully. So far I'm glad I got at least web running where I can share something before something happens to me as well. Tomorrow I will go through all my poetry I still have somewhere and I have to think about few things first. After going again through her notes, I truly feel like I lost something I once had, he had it as well and I don't like the state I'm in now.


 No.16974


 No.17111

File: 2302d6a758ab90f⋯.mp4 (752.16 KB, 480x270, 16:9, best girl.mp4)

BO-san, I found this one today

This is for you man

Maybe I can find a version with audio

she had an angellic voice


 No.17113

>>17111

Thank you very much. It's from that video we've seen before but longer. Someone has those videos damn it. I've seen some pictures, I don't know if it's her, in white dress, and she seemed as if she lost a lot of weight.


 No.17120

File: 2a1190f29543fa8⋯.jpeg (1.37 MB, 2636x3525, 2636:3525, page3.jpeg)

You welcome duder

On /pol/ there was another guy who said Dylan is more likely to be her love interest. I doubt that. His reasoning was because she drew Dylan once. I think he means the drawing on page 11 of her diary. Sure he is there, but there is also another guy on a skateboard (probably Eric) and there are skulls, firearms and other stuff. I would dedicate an entire page for the person I love - at least.

This is a drawing of one of the guys. Below it says "LOVE IS…".

I think it is Eric. I can't see any hair coming from the cap. Dylan had long hair. When you take a look at the video on >>16945 around 1:45 you can see them shooting their guns. You can clearly see Eric has no visible hair from his cap while Dylan has them. I don't think she would forget such a detail when drawing the guy she liked.

At 2:18 you can see Eric from behind. The pullover seems to be identical with the one she drew. I just can't tell if the cap he has really does disply "KMFDM"

I am still fascinated by her and I will try to find those original video files.


 No.17123

>>17120

>On /pol/ there was another guy who said Dylan is more likely to be her love interest

I will probably leave that to her, who it was or wasn't. It was her love and in that sense it doesn't matter for who she felt it. Only if she could be now with him. We will not be maybe able to share this type of love for him in particular but we maybe carry the same exact love for her.


 No.17127

Hehe. I am pretty obsessive in that regard, which is funny because this is rather a germanic habit. When I research something I want to know everything. So for her, I am trying to uncover all mysteries around her and understand her better.

But yes you worded that beautifully and I am sure she is with him now on a better place.

>It was her love and in that sense it doesn't matter for who she felt it

She was full of love but had no outlet to channel this energy into. Sadly she used it for her own self destruction later on. I wish they could have met each other on better circumstances. It would have been a wonderful story. Of that I am sure…

>but we maybe carry the same exact love for her.

I am not sure what it is but for me, I just wished she could have been happy and if I could I would have protected her from any danger. I also identify with many of her views on the world. She did not deserve what happened to her, especially that entire "being branded as a mass murderer" part. She seemed like an honest person with a good heart who would never want to hurt anyone. You can tell just from all the guilt she felt for deceiving the people closest to her.

Why do always the good have to die? It is not fair. Fuck this gay earth.

It is just that the more I read of her the more I am fascinated about her. How she thought, for example, or the movies she liked, this 90s clothing aestetic that was not only a trend for her but more a lifestyle. All those easter eggs she hides at her website that also has the 90s aestetic. How she discovered the normalfags problem on her own at such young age and also she was pretty talented for drawing. It looks like scribble but you can clearly see what she is drawing even if it is sometimes not that detailed.

I am just frustrated every time I read such stories when I imagine what we lost and what we can keep instead. I am still using that 90s TV channel thingy she linked to her site. I already have a list of bands I will pirate later.


 No.17129

>>17127

>So for her, I am trying to uncover all mysteries around her and understand her better.

It's more than welcome though, I also appreciate your effort, I unfortunately don't have that much time or energy.

>She seemed like an honest person with a good heart who would never want to hurt anyone. You can tell just from all the guilt she felt for deceiving the people closest to her.

Eternal struggle. She wasn't cold, nor only full of negative emotions. From what I've read I can tell she also expected the good from people however her expectations followed disappointment: >>16946 >>16936

>I am just frustrated every time I read such stories when I imagine what we lost and what we can keep instead.

I'm sure we all know it, we can't win, this world isn't ours. You can't elevate the cattle, in this sense I'm not even sad she is gone, it only makes sense. Yes it's sad but she only did what many of us thought about or think about for very long time, for the same or slightly different reasons. I only understood the problem after I read more from her words. Totalitarians know it and they often use the people as a tool, as they are supposed to be used, or they falsely believe they are elevating to their own standards something more than animals; but that's nothing for me, I don't want to be part of this either, It's game I don't want to but have to play.


 No.17130

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.


 No.17156

File: ab5ac3b30d1785e⋯.mp4 (3.02 MB, 678x360, 113:60, twitter_20190426_084326.mp4)


 No.17184

Life is suffering. She managed to off herself before it became too bad. We can only envy her.


 No.17211

thx for video amerikanjin

>>17184

I agree completely.

It will never get better.

You will just get more creative at escapism.


 No.17222

>>17184

>became too bad

Breaking news: it already is too bad.


 No.17226

File: 5b463bb06419a36⋯.png (24.72 KB, 443x541, 443:541, 48c7672ddc8e3647c87260cd4b….png)

>when you see retards on /pol/ making an MKUltra story of her passing

>you explain them that she felt bad in FL, wanted to finally die somewhere peaceful, near her idols, far away from all the things that made her miserable

<60km from Columbine is not near!

<who were the other 2 tickets for? CONSPIRACY

>some retard even tries to hack her email and tries to find people on facebook to talk about her

>girl (friend from australia) tells him pretty much what I tell him

<half the world feels like that

<posts in thread: well it does not matter what she says, she could be anyone implying CIA agent would shitpost on faceberg

Existence might be a nigger but those people on /pol/ are a special breed of retard

Zero empathy and the entire time you try to explain something to them, they pretend they are some scientist looking for empirical evidence why you can't be right. He even asked me to transcribe the letter for him because like a little bratty child he refused to try to do it by himself

<I can't read this shit

I am not even from USA and I can read most of what she writes

Whatever,

Here are the remaining videos BO-san:

https://mega.nz/#F!I3pSmQAb!70c79Ofl-y0hRwodO4xVXw

On one side I feel very bad about this.

But on the other side, she does not have to be with stupid people on this planet anymore.

Rest in peace princess, you were too good for this planet


 No.17227

File: 02720ebae794ed9⋯.mp4 (7.5 MB, 480x360, 4:3, Nine Inch Nails - Burn.mp4)

And last week I found some news article claimed to have found one of her streaming accounts or something like that. They said the last song that was played was

>Nine Inch Nails - Burn

On said Monday 15th April

Then it went silent.

If you listen to it you understand why she identified with it so much

What the girl writes on facebook about how she felt completely alienated makes sense

I am just glad she did not even find out the feds were on a manhunt for her

Poor girl


 No.17228

>>17226

>Existence might be a nigger but those people on /pol/ are a special breed of retard

You don't know that everyone on internet has his own truth? Internet is garbage.

Thank you for the videos, I appreciate it a lot.


 No.17235

>>16945

another question, does anyone know the name of the song from >>16945 ?

I like the music but have no idea where it might be from


 No.17291

File: c06f278943451b9⋯.gif (2.87 MB, 362x430, 181:215, 344a444d42d2a9f61221ec0d19….gif)

>>17247

What did you say about me you little snitch?

Wanna fly with my plane, buddy?


 No.17447

File: 7a7b2af9bfc7420⋯.jpg (53.72 KB, 640x640, 1:1, 5821e72747eb51e1f6c10f5162….jpg)

some fellow on /pol/ posted this one

this is for you BO-san

I go to sleep now. This was a crazy night

Good night anons


 No.17510

https://m.imgur.com/a/p46w2

27 pics of her

https://www.last.fm/user/solpais/listening-report/week her last.fm

And hwhere the fuck did he find that photo? It's so fuckin' rare >>17447


 No.17511

>>17447

Thanks a bunch friend, like always.

>>17510

That imgur is broken or something, some chinese shit.


 No.17514

>>17511

Oops, here is the right imgur link https://m.imgur.com/a/p46w2PU


 No.17516

>>17514

Thank you, there were some pics I hadn't got.


 No.17530

We could do a Telegram or a Facebook group in memory of her, as a tribute…


 No.17535

>>17530

>sns

Let me guess: Zoomer?


 No.17536

https://www.nationalgunforum.com/members/62506.html

OMFG, notice her last activity: 04/20/19 at 10am, what the fuck?


 No.17538

>>17535

What's a zoomer?


 No.17556

RIP Sol Pais


 No.17562

File: 45844f7d52fe2d8⋯.jpg (66.88 KB, 1080x1080, 1:1, sol pais 2 kitten.jpg)

New photo of her…


 No.17563

>>17562

That cat looks like my old cat from childhood…..damn. Right in the feels, anon. Right in the goddamn feels.


 No.17570

>>17562

I got a similar one few years ago; you can't do this to me now, with her too.. T_T


 No.17590

File: 764a62965270cde⋯.png (3.92 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, hQFKF2B.png)

>>17536

probably FBI agents logging in to fish for fanboys and lunatics who wrote her personal messages

>>17562

Thank you Gianluca

but I think the tumblr images are not her but some other girl

or maybe some super old account.

>>17511

You welcome

>stop juuling

>stop vaping

goddess

the other thing I noticed. She never smiled and those smiles she had with her friend from michigan (blonde girl), those look like fake smiles. It must have been so exhausting to keep alive this facade for years while she was dying inside every day. poor girl, I really wish she could have found happiness


 No.17615

File: a1610a15218953d⋯.gif (209.18 KB, 800x1017, 800:1017, BU4jP.gif)

I think I'm in love with a dead teenager. What the fuck is wrong with me?


 No.17636

>>17615

Nothing. Ghost worship is a practice that has been around for thousands of years and the only thing getting in the way in the West has been the Bible.

Fuck Christ. Worship Sol.


 No.17644

————————NEW FOOTAGE————————–

https://denver.cbslocal.com/2019/04/29/sol-pais-video-denver-international-airport/

————————————————————————

>>17590

How the hell you know my name?! My name is Gianluca, you're scary as fuck bro


 No.17647

>>17644

Strange tone to that segment.

The reports of her running naked through the woods with a gun is a very haunting image to me. She wanted to feel as much of the cold and snow as possible before killing herself.


 No.17652

>>17644

she dressed like a doomer

what are the chances that she posted here?


 No.17654

>>17652

I think 0


 No.17658

We need to find all 25 parts of the video of Denver international airport


 No.17685


 No.17719

>>17644

>Sun Goddess Sol and her last day on this rotten earth

she had so much more courage than I ever had my entire life

>Gianluca

Stop Lying Otto, the Italian guy is Gianluca

>how do you know

I am working for a sophisticated 3letter agency from a certain mideast country MOSSAD. We are monitoring you because of your frightening Worship of our citizen Winona Laura Horowitz and the use of the word nigger in combination with "existence is".

>>17647

I think that naked through the woods was a troll. It is not likely for someone with her personality.

But truth is that the last song she listened on her online streaming service was Nine Inch Nails Burn


 No.17727

>>17719

Yea, seems that she shot herself while listening to that song. I repeat: media said they had a dozen of cctv of her in DIA, why they showed us just 3-4? After all, look how beautiful she was in the 2nd security camera video at 0:48 (https://youtu.be/kYUMEQ7P8OY).

Uh, and I'm the same italian guy using a VPN (because I can't use 8chan with mobile without VPN, don't know why, and sometimes I'm american and other times I'm german lol)


 No.17728

I called you Gianluca because I grew up with some Italian boy in the neighborhood. He used to bring illegal fireworks from the homeland. There was a stairway down into the garage on our playground and where do you think did we always throw the petardes to?

Of course down the hollow stairway for maximum bang

You reminded me of that kid.

>beautiful

on the outside and on the inside. What a loss

seriously


 No.17729

oh yes and that boy I grew up with his name was gianluca indeed

he went to visit grandma in italy every summer and came back with shitloads of fireworks


 No.17738

>>17729

Ahaha, I know, here in Italy, most in the southern part (Neaples), they make a lot of illegal fireworks ahaha, but I'm from Tuscany (Florence) so I don't know much about illegal fireworks, since here we got only the legal ones


 No.17743

>>15752

Shit guys, look at her ice eyes, that icy stare, she looks like a girl that can kill you and have an alibi for at least 10 sentences, like Agent 47 of the "Hitman" saga


 No.17746

>>17743

yes, she has those dead eyes, that is right

but what I find most saddening is that she never smiles on her photographs

a smile would have fit her really

>>17745

bravo, now BO will ban you again

I was telling you to stay in that shithole, not to come back here


 No.17784

File: 6761edf331ec7e2⋯.webm (371.22 KB, 640x480, 4:3, Faglord-Headed Farting Rh….webm)

>all this attenshuns heaped upon some LARPing thot

Absolutely disgusting display of thirsty beta orbiting faggotry.


 No.17818

File: 36137183bb4cb2f⋯.png (1.54 MB, 1080x1865, 216:373, IMG_20190501_220645.png)

Meanwhile, Sol's dad Gardi Pais on Instagram:


 No.17820

File: 1a4233d414cbd36⋯.jpg (37.68 KB, 699x402, 233:134, 1a4233d414cbd369136d52374c….jpg)

>>17745

I forgot pic yesterday, this for you anon

>>17784

>larping

>girl blows off her head with a 12 gauge shotty

sure thang boyyo. only larping

if you read her diary entries you will understand that she was one of us

BTW is that pancakes' face on the webm? I hated that fucker with passion

>>17818

well, he is an artist I guess

they always do crazy shit


 No.17823

>>17784

>Orbiting a dead star

great metaphor for society in the current year.


 No.17859

>>17818

>my daughter blown her brains out with shotty

<"lemme uhhh rock out with the cock out"


 No.17865

>>17859

As they say, the show must go on


 No.17975

File: 5b9731ff48a0bcc⋯.png (1.3 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, Screenshot_20190503-010910.png)

She WAS so cute…too cute for this world…she was…


 No.17979

>>17738

non capisco un cazzo di questa cosa con Mossad, ma in ogni caso e sempre un piacere vedere itanons.


 No.17987

>>17979

Sole = Bella Ragazza


 No.17993

File: 6590fa1eba2242b⋯.jpg (61.75 KB, 636x636, 1:1, 7d9159983feef2e722d5ae5fa2….jpg)

another pic I found for you BO


 No.18002

>>17993

You are real treasure my friend, thanks. I think about her daily, fuck what all you thinking, I'm insane. She lost weight a lot, it's obvious.


 No.18003

You know that will sound gay an' shiiiieet but she seemed like she needed someone like you

Seriously

you are a good person and I feel like someone like you could have made her see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel

and maybe someone like her could have been your light at the tunnel

But life is a nigger and then you die


 No.18012

File: afcba30149f2947⋯.jpg (101.28 KB, 1500x1000, 3:2, taxi.jpg)

>>18003

I seriously doubt it my friend. We can only guess and I'm pretty hard idiot to deal with; with this unbearable typical pisces crap personality, easily influenced, feelings driven, we would probably both die in that forest. I'm not savior, I can carry people through tough shit but not forever and we know our problems are not going anywhere anytime soon. She would easily convince me this is the better way out and I would wholeheartedly agree with her since I understand it. In these situations you have no way out, what has to be done will be done. It's not like I want to live instead of have outburst and finish it with myself as well. Love can be carried "behind the grave" and that's the problem with people who are not too down to earth like myself. Everything happens for the best.


 No.18028

>>17979

Uhh SÌ. Un italiano, molto bene ahahah, comunque io credo che qui il Mossad non c'entri niente e che lei abbia solamente voluto suicidarsi senza nessun'altro fine o scopo, sai se per caso ci sono dei thread italiani su di lei?

—————

Personally I think that Mossad isn't involved, and that she just wanted to die without any other objective


 No.18030

File: 7be01c558ce67ee⋯.jpg (35.92 KB, 855x553, 855:553, thestate.jpg)

>>15752

I don't see the appeal in this girl

I don't suppose many of you are old enough to have experienced the goth-kid teens of the late 90's. Its absolutely bizarre to me that this girl was 18 in 2019. Everything about her screams that she's a lifted act from that era, from those people. I expected this to be dug up story from 2002.

>she's a narcissist

sad narcissist. still a narcissist. making that same goddamn head-turned-20-degrees-while-looking-placidly-at-camera pose for selfie after selfie. She had insecurities and went to the same well practiced poses she felt made her look 'best' over and over.

>im 13 and this is deep

perhaps its partial rush-to-judgement after reading her website's writings

but, as I've said I remember kids exactly like this. I probably even wrote like this once before realizing how vapid and pointless it was.

Its all just an endless, masturbatory, spew of emotions without context.

>The eternal angsty suburban teen

if she ever went to a therapist and shared one of her entries, the conversation would be steered by a series of questions that go like, "and why do you feel that way" "what causes…." "and how do those feelings come about…"

eventually the angsty teen gets cornered into the best answers they can muster for their actual problems "muh highschool" "muh parents" "muh bored"

and then that huge grandiose geocities journal entry the angsty teen wrote in a dark room looks so incredibly small. I'm more sympathetic to the angsty teen that most. I give credence to the concept of existential dread. Maybe angsty teen doesn't do particularly well with the progression of competence in school and social life, and he looks around at the low-density commercial/residential wasteland and feels a sense that even doing well would lead to an intolerable result. I get all that but I also understand the necessity to keep grounded in physical reality: understanding the sources of the angsty teen feelings and realizing how they relate to the actual world.

He's a fun bit. Watch me make up a sol journal entry in one go! I bet it turns out to be a better read than hers (if you imagine its from a cute grill)

>I just want out. It is my fundamental crime. It is the thing that is viewed, in return, with such resentment. To look upon the machinations of the world and say, "Not for me." It is to insult all those that strive for their little piles, to call their little piles what they are: nothing. There is no choice but to stay in complete isolation, torn between the most ridiculous act and the insult of calling out the nothing piles. Its a joke.

some tips on how to make your own Sol Pais journal entries.

-stay vague. if any actual details of your life were to shine through the actual smaller scope of your problems might be evident

-do not name anyone else. like tip one, reference to anyone outside yourself should be as poorly defined as possible. this is about you, creating an actual relationship between you and other people in this world diminishes you

-remember that your massive undefinable sadness is the most important thing in the goddamn world.

anyway. Don't gothpill doomerbros. The doomer core is that our stories are as simplistic as pathetic. The crux is being unable to overcome a series of simple steps that apparent normies seem to pass without much thought. Its having a small miserable life that, if related in full to another human being, would irritate that person with the sheer banality.

Was Sol Pais a doomer? Maybe, in a way. But I would guess she never told anyone about her "true feelings." If she did, her feelings might have gotten reigned in to reality. Only through constantly stoking her "beautiful sadness delusion" was she able to work up the obsession level necessary to an hero.

I'll admit she wasn't normal. Her differences, though, manifested in revolting ways. And really, what is all of this tribute other than white-knighting? She was yet another narcissistic woman with zero capacity for empathy; clearly evident through the 100% self focus of her writings. Even my Sol LARP had greater acknowledgement of other humans. I guarantee a woman like this would bad for any of you. Just another vapid narcissist defended for being a young attractive girl.

Considering how the whole angst routine was probably completely hidden from the outside world I'd guess she played the normie part in day-to-day life.

She probably blew handsome highschool boys. Just saying.


 No.18040

C'mon guys, just think she's in a better place now, she is in hell getting buttfucked by her idols Eric & Dylan, what would be better for her?


 No.18042

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>18040

My rape dungeon.


 No.18044

Just read an article reporting that on her face had been discovered substances contained in the human tears… so she cried before/while committing suicide, this is so sad

>>18040 >>18042

Respect, you don't know the meaning of.


 No.18048

That's a hard-looking 18.


 No.18058

>>18030

>a woman like this would bad for any of you

As would the vast majority of other women, and definitely any modern western chick. I doubt she'd be as bad as most.

>>18042

Read the Gorean Saga for the source material for that song. Good books, overall, if you're into that stuff.


 No.18059

>>18058

>As would the vast majority of other women

true enough

better context would be "you'd be better off with a borderline personality than a deluded brooding narcissist". At least in the first case you might experience a few moments of being valued before all the effects of unhealthy obsession reared their heads


 No.18067

File: 5c34c450f34cfa9⋯.jpg (50.32 KB, 506x591, 506:591, spectacle.jpg)

>criticizing her

<defending her

She's not all that different from the rest of humanity. Most people's lives are boring as shit, whether they identify with the mainstream or not. There is nothing wrong with playing up your differences and identifying with edgy subcultures. The only aberration here is that she took it far too seriously (and all too far.)

>>18030

>clearly evident through the 100% self focus of her writings

it's called being a teenager.

>She probably blew handsome highschool boys

Most likely, yes. Not that there's anything wrong with this.

>>18059

>"you'd be better off with a borderline personality than a deluded brooding narcissist"

Had she not blown her brains out, she would have likely morphed from the latter into the former …before reaching her final form as a boring suburban mom.


 No.18077

File: ee558db552d8046⋯.jpg (33.96 KB, 540x340, 27:17, hands.jpg)

>>18012

>Have a romantic last day with the girl you love in some snowy scenery on an idyllic nature resort right before you take the last voyage together, holding each others hands with bloody wounds that touch each other and seal your bond for eternity like it was forged with magma

every man would wish for such an end

at least, I would

pic related is wedding scene of NBK on that bridge, they cut each others hands bloody and formed a bloody contract for eternity, how romantic

>>18030

>Rögerer Federer

fuck Basel and their soccer club too

Thank you for your criticism on her, it was interesting to see your views but I can't really share your views. I mean, if she were one of those pretend only depressed xanax girls she would have not blown her head away. And also notice how she did this in a very cold and calculating way. What I found fascinating about her is that she describes the normalfag society problem and the alienation you feel when you are not part of normalfag society but without the imageboard packaging. She is not judging anyone, just saying people who are different have no future in normie society. And this is what it is all about. I mean it is same for many "successful" people too. Kirk 'O Bane blew his head away even when he was filthy rich and famous. When you are broken inside, there is no fix for you and no future to be part of.

>anyway. Don't gothpill doomerbros.

don't worry my friend. My cousins got me into nigger music and I never went into the rock/metal direction. I still can't gut half of her favorite bands because they are too screamy for my taste.

>The doomer core is that our stories are as simplistic as pathetic. The crux is being unable to overcome a series of simple steps that apparent normies seem to pass without much thought. Its having a small miserable life that, if related in full to another human being, would irritate that person with the sheer banality.

well described. The question is here, is it lazyness, avolition or incompetence that prevents us from being normalfags?

>Was Sol Pais a doomer? Maybe, in a way. But I would guess she never told anyone about her "true feelings." If she did, her feelings might have gotten reigned in to reality. Only through constantly stoking her "beautiful sadness delusion" was she able to work up the obsession level necessary to an hero.

she was playing a role entire life. For parents, teachers and the few friends she had. This is one of the things I identify with her. And she seemed to be too prideful to go see a shrink, just like me. There are many similarities indeed.

>I'll admit she wasn't normal. Her differences, though, manifested in revolting ways. And really, what is all of this tribute other than white-knighting? She was yet another narcissistic woman with zero capacity for empathy;

she liked animals. if she were like you descrbe her, she would be skinning cats alive instead of coddling them.

>clearly evident through the 100% self focus of her writings. Even my Sol LARP had greater acknowledgement of other humans. I guarantee a woman like this would bad for any of you. Just another vapid narcissist defended for being a young attractive girl.

a woman of any kind would be bad for me and her as well

>Considering how the whole angst routine was probably completely hidden from the outside world I'd guess she played the normie part in day-to-day life. She probably blew handsome highschool boys. Just saying.

what do I care what romances and liasons she had with other guys. I am not her father nor her brother. But I think you are wrong, her mother said she never left her home and stayed in her room most of the time.

The way I see it, she was just one of us

a person unable to fit into society who had bad future prospects …


 No.18080

>>18044

I would cry too if I failed at life and my parents would have to find my corpse in the wilderness after I play the happy boi for them for years. This has more to do with shame and guilt than with sorrow about one's own passing.


 No.18086

>>18080

This is so fuckin' sad…poor Sol, how she would feel if she read all these threads talking about her and about how nice she was…


 No.18089

>>18086

Sadly she probably wouldn't care. She didn't care about anything this universe had to offer. Her friends tried to talk her out of suicide but she was annoyed by them (as shown by her journal) and an hero'd anyway.

Fuck, most suicidal people including grown up dudes wouldn't have the balls to an hero with a shotgun yet she did it all alone in the wild, and she was thinking about it for at least a year. I can't imagine how much she sufferered to off herself like this. Poor poor girl…

I feel kinda guilty though because I know that if she wasn"t so young and beautiful or if it was a dude I probably wouldn't feel anything…


 No.18090

>>18089

If only there could be a way to rewind time…or go back in time, shit like this i mean; what did she tought when she was about to an hero that evening in the wood? we'll never know…


 No.18091

>>18090

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsM4FM3MiK0

This is presumably the song she was listening to when she blew up her skull. She probably was eager to do it.

>If only there could be a way to rewind time…or go back in time

I don't believe in souls so the best I can do is hope that the multiverse theory is real and that there's a universe where she sought help and went on to live a happy life.


 No.18093

>>18091

I would put a sad song instead, that can remind me of the few good times I had [I'm saying what I would do if I was Sol, even if I think this could not be very probably], maybe it could stopped me from doing what she did..


 No.18094

It's sad that she was forced to do it but it isn't sad that she did it. "Either you understand or you don't". I don't want to explain again something you won't get because you have to live through it in order to get it. Since I was kid I always felt like I don't belong here, like I'm in wrong place in the wrong time, as prisoner, lost soul. You can't describe this feeling with words, you can't get to the core of it either, let it be. She felt it and people who know this type of shit understand it. We blame society but it's not the root of the problem, nor politics, nor God, nor universe - the issue here is being itself. In this situation all you can do is to confuse yourself with some nostalgia, abstract love, metaphysical shit of life after death and whatnot. For you tears mean only sadness or regret, sometimes they flow because they do, it's all energy and emotions, even without any undertone at all. Better believe that she was edgy teen cocksucker and forget about her, rather than cry for the suicide when it's the least important thing in the life. When you will understand how this state of being works, that the sad part was the life not the death, you will get it. Be grateful that you don't know this.


 No.18095

>>18089

>Fuck, most suicidal people including grown up dudes wouldn't have the balls to an hero with a shotgun

I agree, I would never have the guts for a grotesque method like this

>she did it alone in the wild

do you know what is sending icy thrills down my spine?

She went to this Mt. Evans to off herself

She went there without a winter coat, without winter boots, a tent or a sleeping bag

It was still winter up there, even had snow, probably it was very cold at night

She made 100% sure she would not return alive from that mountain…

>how much she sufferered to off herself like this

I think it has more to do with self hatred

to off yourself like this, there must be a very strong feeling of disdain for yourself and everything you represent

In a way it is similar to people from Seattle grunge scene and their addictions to their very destructive opiates

>or if it was a dude I probably wouldn't feel anything

I was very unhappy when murdoch-san offed himself Feb. 2018

Or when Nux did it July 2018.

Even that Shuaiby guy made me feel when I saw his video

It is just a weird feeling when you start to realize that people around you, people similar to you are dropping like flies at increasing rates. It reminds you of your own inevitable fate …


 No.18102

>>18095

>It is just a weird feeling when you start to realize that people around you, people similar to you are dropping like flies at increasing rates. It reminds you of your own inevitable fate …

You're goddamn right.

>I agree, I would never have the guts for a grotesque method like this

Why grotesque? It's sure: you die with an headshot, boom, you're dead.


 No.18189

>>18077

don't get too hung up on the tennis man. I just needed a face of contempt. I'm not good enough at chans to dredge up truly obscure images.

>she describes the normalfag society problem

there's kind of allusions to it - maybe I didn't read through her website thoroughly enough or there's more material. But, as was mentioned, the descriptions are extremely hyperbolic and vague. I don't see any of her writings as insightful.

>her favorite bands

This is kind of an aside, but, is there anyone around over 30 that recognizes how her website, her aesthetic, her entire persona is like a throwback? Most of her favorite bands had their hayday around when she was born. Black-background-angst-poetry-geocities-websites and AOL profiles peaked around/before she was born.

With her father being starving artist type.. I can't help but think most of her identity was lifted from him (he would have been of prime age when the aesthetic was popular) and all of this nonsense might stem far more from a fucked up relationship with dad.

>she liked animals. if she were like you describe her, she would be skinning cats alive instead of coddling them.

A false analogy. Let me tell you a story.

My mother "liked animals." At one point - she decided it would be nice to have a cat. She wanted to have an adorable little creature that would sit in her lap and purr while being cuddled.

She got an older kitten from a shelter, but, as it turns out; some cats don't just automatically like, much less seek out, heavy contact, petting, or cuddling.

This cat was very skittish and would flee heavy contact. My mother was put off by the cat's spurning of her advances toward a cute pet relationship.

I, however, paid attention. I was an isolated doomer without social contact, even then.

The kitten didn't much like being handled - but he sure liked to play with strings, feathers, and tiny mouse-sized objects. He desperately wanted to get outside of the house, but it considered a bad idea for an indoor cat.

I played with the cat. I familiarized the cat with the outdoor spaces on a leash. I trained him to return to the house at the ring of a bell.

Eventually I was the sole person in the house caring for the cat. Eventually that cat tolerated, and sought out the sort of heavy contact from me that it initially fled. I paid attention to what kind of touch he liked and what kind of touch he didn't.

One day, after we'd had the cat for over a year, the cat was sitting in my lap, I was petting him, and he was purring. My mother, passing by, looked and said,

"Cat's really do just pick one person that they like."

She got a dog at the point, followed by another. I guess they were a safer bet for returning affections as they required less empathy or patience.

My mother could be affectionate - but she was also self absorbed and appeared to distinctly lack the capacity for empathy. In her case, I wouldn't call her affinity for animals more a desire to receive affection than, what I would consider, a genuine desire to give it. What kind of affection is the sort that takes no stock whatsoever as to how another person/creature feels in the equation?

The saga of the cat we had very much clarified her character for me. The woman that bought a cat and then felt resentful that the kitten didn't want to immediately be cuddled was the woman that was comforted by a cute child but resentful of the boy that acted-out trying to assert himself in the world. Her unique brand of affection/cold resentment made much more sense after that.

Some cats really enjoy being handled from the get-go. If, in my family story, my mother had picked out one of those I probably never would have had the described insight.

The fact that the /doomer/ mascot girl hugged a cat on camera doesn't mean a great deal to me. A self-obsessed narcissist and someone that abuses animals are not really overlapping characters. I should know.

>is it lazyness, avolition or incompetence that prevents us from being normalfags

If I knew… I don't think people in general have much of a grasp of causes some to rise, do fine, or flame out. I might go on and on but already have taken up quite a lot of space.

I have some faith in the idea of free agency, but I believe its much more muted than the concept would apply.

My self assessment falls along the lines of an unending chain of causality where there were probably a handful of points where there was some self-determination wiggle room that might have shifted my trajectory; but every one was met with cowardice. I certainly didn't recognize them at the time and there will be few, if any left.


 No.18192

>>18189

>I can't help but think most of her identity was lifted from him (he would have been of prime age when the aesthetic was popular) and all of this nonsense might stem far more from a fucked up relationship with dad.

Yep, I thought this as well. She probably got into the bands that she got into to impress daddy and not for hipster-cred. She didn't seem like a hipster, and most hipsters wouldn't touch those bands with a ten-foot pole.


 No.18341

FOUND SOMETHING INTERESTING, an actual video of Valentina Pais playing guitar with her father Gardi Pais, here's the link, I'm going to archive it, in case it will be removed (but I don't think this will happen)

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156210706537753&id=634827752

At 0:15 we can see a woman walking behind them, is she Sol? Or her mother Silvia?


 No.18349

File: 658c3bd1fa06bc0⋯.png (48.59 KB, 1770x518, 885:259, uwot.png)

Excuse me what the fuck


 No.18351

>>18349

So some faggot (probs her family or some hackkid) decided to harvest likes on instagram from her death and ruin her online place? If only I was dead already, fuck this stupid homo world, i'm out.


 No.18352

File: 2521f5e944c473f⋯.png (24.18 KB, 828x475, 828:475, sol.png)

>>18349

Shit. Her website has been hacked again, the last time it was hacked it was like this, someone should back up the website as it was normally


 No.18409

>>18349

>Let's do another "mental awareness" bullshit page as if there wasn't enough of them teehee

Thank God the Wayback Machine exists

>>18192

It's only a partial explanation. Yes, it is likely that she was introduced to these music genres by her musician, but then he probably introduced her to other, more upbeat genres as well. Yet it's the dark ones she preferred because they correspond to her personnality.

She's the only one who could have posted "I was born in the wrong generation" on Jewtube videos and mean it.


 No.18410

>>18349

Once again, normies show their true colors.

>>18351

Sometimes I look at the shit created today and wish I'd gotten hooked on heroin - then I'd be dead now. Eternal nothingness is better than the stupid shit like this that I read these hairless and brainless primates have done.


 No.18416

A guy on instagram wrote a story who is clearly referred to her, he just changed the names of "Columbine", "Colorado", "Sol→Helen" and her surname, it's nice http://expliciteducation.blogspot.com/2019/05/burnt-out-sunshine.html


 No.18427

>>18094

I tried to do an armchair Internet diagnosis of her and stumbled upon this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

It seems to me that it fits quite well with what she and you describe.

But no, I refuse to falsely believe she was justan edgy teen even if it would make me feel better. She was right. I don't understand. She lives on a superior plane I will never be able to access no matter how I try. She shouldn't be remembered as an edgy teen.

>Be grateful that you don't know this.

I don't know man. My life sucks for a completely different, much more plebeian set of reasons. If I must feel miserable all the time it's better to know I suffer because I'm above everyone else reather than below.


 No.18439

>>18349

>when normies can't even let you rest in peace after you blow away your brains with a 12 gauge shotty

>muh mental illness awareness, everyone is precious

disgusting virtue signalling cockroaches


 No.18446

>>18439

>that instashit profile already has 3 followers


 No.18448

>>18427

>My life sucks for a completely different, much more plebeian set of reasons.

We all have something, don't we? I'm not trying to compare the burden we carry on our backs, it's all fucked up.


 No.18556

Why do you fools worship this 4/10 thot?


 No.18557

>>18349

fuck this gay earth

I keep telling myself to accept this, to be at peace. How???


 No.18587

Looks like Encyclopedia Dramatica already wrote about her

https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Sol_Pais


 No.18589

>>16572

I grew out of that shit pretty quick because of access to small time mp3 hosting websites that had grind, kangcore, HC and d-beat and noise rock. ofc thrash/death metal bands like Sepultura and Obituary led the way.


 No.18590

>>18012

my grandfather was a Pisces but was always a grump. he wasn't a sentimental character. figure that one out.


 No.18639

>>18094

Wanted to elaborate on this. Sol was exceptional but one of her interest I can't get behind is occultism. It may have been simple curiosity but it looks like from what she wrote that she really believed in some sort of afterlife.

I'm 100% physicalist and hard determinist and I know she isn't "in a better place" right now. She's simply nowhere. She ceased to exist. (fear of nothingness is part of what prevents me to an hero btw). This makes me even sadder. But this also makes me believe that she could have been saved if she met a psychatrist and took some drugs. In general psychiatrists are dumb and don't know the difference between a diagnosis and a judgment but obviously Sol needed and deserved help. Her belief in society and life in general being shit is accurate but she could still have enjoyed scraps of it.

BTW I just thought about this: we only know Sol Pais because the FBI/media created a shitstorm around her. We probably wouldn't know her otherwise. Think about it: how many Sols out there we don't know about? We're missing a lot.

Almost motivates me to start reading girly fanfiction to spot any. Maybe below several layers of yaoi and badly written high school stories there are intelligent girls with rich inner lives that deserve to be preserved.


 No.18647

>>18590

Pretty easy to figure out: Star signs come from astrology, but are extremely simplified. They can work, broadly, but omit too much of the subtleties to have any reliable accuracy.

To get a proper reading, you'd have to get a full natal chart interpreted, but there's really not many people that can do it properly.


 No.18654

>>18557

Majishan anon, I summon you.

Can you give me your thoughts on this:

>>15844

You seem to be well versed in those fields


 No.18655

>how many Sols out there we don't know about? We're missing a lot.

this sir, is the saddening part

there is millions of unhappy people, they all are in pain until one day they can't take it anymore and off themselves

only then people start to notice …


 No.18676

File: 7d9159983feef2e⋯.jpg (63.32 KB, 636x636, 1:1, 7d9159983feef2e722d5ae5fa2….jpg)

File: 9ea514672ef893e⋯.png (255.92 KB, 498x499, 498:499, a5ece87777badf1f1135e73f12….png)

File: 519cf60fcada063⋯.jpg (42.93 KB, 640x640, 1:1, 640f456b77ccf8a5aa253173ed….jpg)

But…how many Sols like her are out here? None, she was unique…


 No.18682

>>18639

>and I know she isn't "in a better place" right now

You don't know, it's your opinion. However I don't attack your views, I just see it differently. t. too spiritual

>saved if she met a psychatrist

This is a meme my friend. They can only pump you with pills but once your mindset is set in certain way, you can get better and then you will drop back to the hole. I know what I'm talking about for once, I went through similar process without any results.

>needed and deserved help

What If you don't want to "get help" and be "saved"?

>how many Sols out there we don't know about? We're missing a lot.

Too many but no one will believe me because according to many posters here, women can not experience any type of doom.

>>18676

She was but when we talk in broader terms, there are girls like her but they would never talk to you and if, you would never know what's going on inside of their heads. Why? Because it takes time. Girl like this won't tell you straight away everything, it needs a special type of person you can trust and you have to be on same wavelength. Girls are afraid to be judged way more than men, even if they don't admit it. Internet anonymity helps a lot, we all know that. I don't usually go around and tell people about deepest corners of my mind and soul either. Do you know what I mean? I was able to build pretty deep relationships with few girl and I was always surprised how deep they could go, not all of them, but some of them. Problem with girls is that they don't analyze things that much as men do, so f.e. they know shit is fucked up but they are not really interested in reasons why. But this is just generalization, I hope you get the idea.


 No.18699

>Aw man! How do I say goodbye?

>It's always the good ones that have to die

>After laughter I guess comes the tears

At least her website seems back to normal again


 No.18723

>>18639

>Maybe below several layers of yaoi and badly written high school stories there are intelligent girls with rich inner lives that deserve to be preserved.

You know, if they like yaoi then that means that they like men, which in turn means that the dyke bullshit hasn't gotten to them yet. If that's the case, there needs to be some way for us to protect them and keep the dykes from dragging them down to their level.

If they call themselves "asexual" then they've already been hit. At this point they've been fed enough evul-menz stories that they lose their attraction to men, but they haven't yet been able to force themselves to like women just yet. You might be able to save them if you know what you're doing, but nobody does. Once they go full dyke it's over.


 No.18724

ok


 No.18725

>>18682

>Too many but no one will believe me because according to many posters here, women can not experience any type of doom.

Lets be honest she was depressed because some guy left her… there is nothing deep she could ever feel.

Look at her music page, basic millennial ex-emo bitch. Pumped and dumped tons like her.


 No.18726

>>18725

Wait, she was 18 so not millenial. Huh. So I guess then some oldfag introduced her to the music. I bet this is the same guy for who over she killed herself.

>>18192

>>18409

>>18639

Is this the first girl like her you ever met nigger?


 No.18728

Thinking more about it, I think it goes like this: she was depressed when she was around 16, found out about Columbine, met some old millenial fag in some Columbine group that she talked with over the internet for some years, he introduced her to the 00s music and then she killed herself after she found out the oldfag is married/rejected her/has a gf.


 No.18729

>>15844

anon that image is too small for me to read. If it's tarot you can just tell me what cards they are and I can try to give you something to work with, but don't be too hopeful. Again, I'm a student at best.


 No.18730

>>18639

anon, I mean this sincerely. Material essentialism is hell and I wish you the best.

>>18682

you hit the nail on the head (as usual). Women and men are complementary in terms of strengths and weaknesses, there's really no point in hating them categorically because they're simply dealing with the other side of the same coin. I'm not saying that I'm trying to revoke anyones wamminhatin card, but it's worth pointing out that stacies are going through their own hell. It's self inflicted of course, but there's no point feeling pity for them, or want to make them suffer. They're already suffering plenty.

In any case Sol's interest in the occultism is what makes me saddest–realizing what goes on beyond can be a great white-pill. I had a friend back in high school that Sol reminds me of–she was unfit for this world, and I don't mean that in a bad way if that makes any sense. She often told me about how she didn't belong in this world, but i think she eventually outgrew this and went full stacy. She eventually stopped being friends with me once she gained popularity in meatspace. I'm happy for her, but I do believe that the part of her that was sacrificed for prosperity in this world was precious and should hav been nurtured. Feeling like an orphan exiled to this world isn't automatically a bad thing. Everyone finds different ways to cope, whether that be anheroing or picking up specific hobbies. Spiritual death preceding the physical saddens me.


 No.18737

>>18730

>I'm happy for her, but I do believe that the part of her that was sacrificed for prosperity in this world was precious and should hav been nurtured.

This is pretty interesting idea. I was thinking about it a few times actually. I think even if there would exist some kind of magic pill or some way how to suddenly become different, always positive, etc. with guaranteed results, I don't know if I would even want it. It makes no sense because it's sadomasochism at its purest but I would compare it to prisoner who spent all his life in prison. This is my world, it isn't easy but this is what I know. I'm familiar with this darkness and truly I don't want to leave it, so stupid.

People change, that's normal and I wouldn't really blame anyone for "distracting him/herself". I say distracting, because it's my own experience, so it might not apply to all those cases of similar people. In past I got often excited about some idea or some people positively influenced my way of thinking, suddenly I felt as if there is a way out, I acted differently. However it always ended up as disaster when one day I just sat on my ass and realized that I actually don't know what the hell am I even doing and again I got back to square one. Maybe one day she will realize that she is just escaping the demons hiding inside of her, god forbid. It's hard to tell but still, it's life of other person and if anyone can find happiness, good for them. World will keep on going deeper to shit no matter if you see it or not, so maybe blessed are those in ignorance.


 No.18811

>>18725

>pumped and dumped tons like her

you are officially part of the problem

>>18729

okay, I will write it down for each card

>>18730

>believe that the part of her that was sacrificed for prosperity

oh this is a classical one too. The Faustian one

>selling your sould for material wishes, fast cars and bitchez


 No.18813

>>18729

Okay I looked into it again, here are the cards, from top to down, from left to right:

>Six of Man (Herbert West) REVERSED

>King of Man (Keziah Mason) REVERSED

>Resonator

>Nine of Sites (Kadath)

>Nine of Man (Wilbur Whateley)

>Three of Artifacts (Silver Key) REVERSED

>Seven of Tomes (King in Yellow)

>Page of Sites (Sentinel Hill)

>Tsathoggua REVERSED

Apparently this is some kind of Lovecraft tarot whatever that means.

If you see interesting stuff here, I would be thankful for your oppinion


 No.18820

>>18811

>you are officially part of the problem

Don't worry, he's probably just LARPing - probably just another friendless, kissless virgin who wants attention. Just ignore and move on.


 No.18849

>>18811

>you are officially part of the problem

Oh yeah if I wouldn't do it she would love losers and freaks like you, nerd cuck. Speaking of sweden flag, I'm unironically planning to come to your country and fuck some aryan blonde loli whores. What do you think?


 No.18855

>>18849

>Oh yeah if I wouldn't do it she would love losers and freaks like you, nerd cuck.

We're all losers and freaks, anon. At least anons here are just honest about it. I know it sucks being a wage cuck, but you don't need to pretend you're cooler than the rest of us.


 No.18881

>>18849

she wouldnt end up with freaks like me but she would also not waste her fertile time with pretend-nonlosers like you because if you cannot marry and care for a woman you also failed as a man, just like I did

you are just the smug type of underachiever, that is the only difference

>Sweden

hello newfriend, I am not even from sweden, but you can be a pedophile wherever you want. There is blonde people pretty much everywhere now


 No.18919

File: 22063c980475077⋯.png (225.36 KB, 288x491, 288:491, DIA.PNG)

>>18682

>This is a meme my friend. They can only pump you with pills but once your mindset is set in certain way, you can get better and then you will drop back to the hole. I know what I'm talking about for once, I went through similar process without any results.

I don't know…perhaps I'm blinded by sadness. Am I selfish to wish Sol was still alive even if it may have meant she would have lived with derealization her whole life? Was her suicide a "lesser evil"? Is there a neceesary causality between being intelligent and lucid and being suicidal, and would drugs cause her to stop being the former? Fuck, I want to believe she could have been at peace with herself.

I can"t stop thinking about her. I've watched the videos of her at the airport again. Look at how calm and focused she looks even though she knew why she was here. Also, reading her journal, the entry where she contemplates her suicide is one of the only two in which she sounds happy (the other one being the Eric Harris one). Most suicidal people consider suicide a lesser evil, not actually something good. Not her. This is heartbreaking to me but… should it.

Most of us became doomers because of bad life experiences. But her…from a normalfag's point of view she had everything. Female, young, 8+/10, wealthy and stable family, yet she an hero'd with a fucking shotgun at age fucking 18 sveral states away from her home. None of us has the balls to do that. One can say she was a True Doomer in the sense that she felt the fuckedupness of the universe despite not being exposed to it directly.

This story is so fucked up it sounds like a novel.

Perhaps I'm idealizing her the same way she idealized Harris. There's so much we don't know about her. Plot twists may still happen.

>>18728

She didn't have any IRL love interest.

>>18556

>4/10

Go get eye surgery


 No.18920

>>18730

>anon, I mean this sincerely. Material essentialism is hell and I wish you the best.

Thanks. It is hell but I don't think one should base beliefs on what feels good


 No.18923

>>18919

We talked exactly about this itt, maybe you want to read some of it if you wish. Not that there were some conclusions made, just fyi a lot interesting info was found and same thoughts were posted here.

>she knew why she was here

To finally fucking leave this stupid disgusting worms and illnesses filled place called world, which won't lose human stench 1000 years after last human die. Truly a wonder why she didn't break down in tears right there… (sarcasm).

>Most suicidal people consider suicide a lesser evil

You would be surprised to how many people suicide makes so big sense it actually looks like killing yourself is probably the best idea you ever had. Others like me see it as rational conclusion of life. You don't want to be here, of course you are happy you will finally go asap.

>Female

Stop with the f-card finally, please. Being woman has nothing to do with this

>yet she an hero'd with a fucking shotgun

Am I the only one who really thinks this isn't something surprising (at least anymore after what I read)?

>despite not being exposed to it directly

She explicitly described her problems, which some of them came from society she encountered on daily basis. We are also not directly bothered (in our daily lives) by natural mechanisms of universe and this world in particular, yet we are at the same time because we are part of it all and every single fucking day we encounter it.


 No.19041

>>18923

Yes I read it. Mostly confirms what I already thought. She and you based on what you wrote experienced extreme derealization and had an emotional and "spiritual" (for lack of a better word) depth I will never experience. I'm not a true doomer, I'm not even a regular 8chanfag. I only came here because /doomer/'s take on her seems less retarded than elsewhere.

That journal nonetheless broke something in me. It's been almost a month and I still feels that weight in my heart and chest. Also chill out on the f-card I mentioned this only in passing.

>Am I the only one who really thinks this isn't something surprising (at least anymore after what I read)?

surprising != fucked up. Ofc it's the logical endpoint of what she felt but it's still weird to me. Sol will continue to have videos and novels written about her.


 No.19050

>>19041

>That journal nonetheless broke something in me. It's been almost a month and I still feels that weight in my heart and chest.

Same, I don't know what happened to me after her death, I feel like I need to know more and more about her, then when I saw her photos the thing went down even more…Idk, maybe my mind is fucked up already at 18 years old, I even wrote "S444" (Sol444) lol. Is this what TCC (true crime community) feel with dylan and eric?

Sol…a beautiful name and person like the Sun,

RIP Girl…


 No.19053

>>19041

>She and you based on what you wrote experienced extreme derealization and had an emotional and "spiritual" (for lack of a better word) depth I will never experience. I'm not a true doomer, I'm not even a regular 8chanfag. I only came here because /doomer/'s take on her seems less retarded than elsewhere.

I wish I would know how to describe certain things with words, I can't. Don't think that I'm presenting this as some form of "trve doomer worldview", it's just something I can fully understand on deep personal level because I went (and still going) through very similar things. That doesn't mean it's something positive and if you don't understand it then you are something less. We all see world and life in our own way and these things are very tough subject for conversation because you can't re-live experience of someone other; and it's perfectly fine. It's truly sad to see person like her go because of how much similarities I saw in her, however something in me tells me that if she was truly to some degree like me, then she fully realized that there is final stop in life and going beyond it would not bring anything positive. You can feel when you are done and when is time to go, the trouble is having guts to do it. Sorry for repeating myself but this feeling as if you don't belong here, as soul/being, this can't be fixed. You always know it since you are kid but you will realize what's going on only as you grow up. Add to it vision of "going home" after death and you have perfect recipe for suicide which makes total sense; while after decades of life here, you think in your final moments about few beautiful moments you had here but at the same time you are happy that you finally go. There is no true equivalent of this feeling to ordinary life experiences unfortunately. To what degree it is explainable by medicine is maybe not important. Society which would be in more bearable state would maybe not push you to suicide so quickly but this feeling would still be present, at least that's how I see it.

>surprising != fucked up. Ofc it's the logical endpoint of what she felt but it's still weird to me.

I understand what you meant now.


 No.19068

Few days ago I found this tribute for her on YT: https://youtu.be/1pvQ7VEMrWo , I couldn't hold my tears, I don't know why I feel like this, I feel like I've lost a kind of soulmate…these images with that song doesn't help T_T


 No.19113

Found few photos about her and her family, sadly, they were censored…

1) Sol and Valentina Pais (she's the censored one). Source: https://twitter.com/skamdc/status/1124459235180523526

2) Maybe Sol in the background, the two are Sylvia M. Lingeri and Gardi Pais. Source: https://twitter.com/skamdc/status/1124459235180523526

3)Sol's house after the Irma hurricane a year ago. Source: gardi pais on instagram

4) A Sol's friend's witness. Source: Tumblr


 No.19114

File: dc747acadad9b38⋯.jpg (150.39 KB, 720x960, 3:4, Sol and Valentina censored.jpg)

File: a841f2096f9b8fa⋯.jpg (86.98 KB, 960x720, 4:3, Sol, Sylvia and Gardi but ….jpg)

File: 4296961afc56126⋯.jpg (167.95 KB, 1080x810, 4:3, gardipais_home_after_hurri….jpg)

File: e548146813ad7cb⋯.jpg (87.6 KB, 1136x639, 16:9, D5u8vHnXsAAfm57.jpg)


 No.19193

File: 52f555ac3842ef0⋯.png (3.74 MB, 750x1334, 375:667, 1555595251411.png)

>>15752

I've been looking at her photos again today. This one is the most heartbreaking. You can tell she was at her lowest and thinking about her suicide when this photo was taken.


 No.19208

File: e63acdb75d76078⋯.jpg (161.4 KB, 810x608, 405:304, cdfc4b21e0c34edc2d19e70fb2….jpg)

>>19193

I'm wondering what she was thinking when she was at the D.I.A.

I'm wondering what she was thinking when she saw her parents the last time, or what the Uber driver tought when he knew about Sol's death, how the school felt about her death, or who pick her up at the Denver Airport…Sol…you broke my feelings…


 No.19275

>>19208

There was a deleted entry on her website (visible with the wayback machine) that said this

>JULY 18, 2018

>i wonder what memories people will have of >me once i'm gone. i wonder what

>will come to mind when they think of me; >something i said or did

>one random day, something that completely >defines their perception of me.

>everybody will have something different. not >having the ability to control that

>can be frustrating, but i guess you just have to >let things like this be.

She certainly did NOT anticipate the manhunt, or that thousands of random people on the internet will mourn her death.

Fuck, that pic of medics picking her body would make me cry if I still had the ability to cry.


 No.19311

File: c5ab188d1f01c6d⋯.jpg (211.18 KB, 996x998, 498:499, PicsArt_05-12-11.16.35.jpg)

Guys crying for a dead teen, what absurd thing…maybe…(I admit, I've cried (idk, maybe because I'm 18 too?) while reading her journals, her tribute videos, while thinking how mass media bothered her soul, all this time when she we was already dead. Poor Sol, the only threats she wrote were about her, and noone noticed it until she left this world…


 No.19362

>>19311

>Guys crying for a dead teen, what absurd thing…maybe…(I admit, I've cried (idk, maybe because I'm 18 too?) while reading her journals, her tribute videos, while thinking how mass media bothered her soul, all this time when she we was already dead. Poor Sol, the only threats she wrote were about her, and noone noticed it until she left this world…

Unfortunately a lot of women who are clinically depressed will only lash out at you for showing compassion, some people are cold with hardened hearts, imo I think Sol was murdered by the FBI spook who probably also enticed her to travel to Colorado, these spooks are some really evil motherfuckers and do this sort of thing if it furthers their agenda, with that being said more often than not most suicide victims don't exhibit any warning signs, ask anyone who lost a friend or loved one to suicide, they'll tell you it was unexpected. As another anon said, looking at her pics hit home for me, I only dated gals like Sol back in the 90's but now looking back in retrospect it was always a roller coaster, either I'd become obsessed with them or vice versa and would just neglect them as I went out binge drinking with my buddies. If I got involved with another one like Sol I'd probably marry her in a heartbeat but something tells me it would become a co-dependent relationship, very unhealthy emotionally tbh, probably the best thing would be just to find some plain Jane, sits at home, she does her shit and I do mine. Easy mode. As awesome redpilled or doomer girls are they are by far the most fucked in the head and I just don't want any of that turmoil.


 No.19422

File: 98bc19fb65f2d3b⋯.png (419.29 KB, 640x435, 128:87, Cobain-Gun.png)

>>19362

Call me a sheeple but I believe she an hero'd all on her own. It's not a plot. But yeah I really wish I could have talked with her. I wonder what would happen if I met a girl like her. Would we bond over shared pessimism or would she just consider me a subnormalfag? Probably the latter.

At least she gave us the occasion to relate to each other.

If you want to feel even worse, just google "shotgun suicide", NSFW obviously.


 No.19425

>>19422

>If you want to feel even worse, just google "shotgun suicide", NSFW obviously.

I did…can't believe she an hero'd in this way, look at her photos…what a rude way to die, she had a pretty face;

but I'm curious to see crime scenes photos, does anyone know if they will ever be released somehow?


 No.19434

Wondering if she failed to suicide and die of cold and bleeding…


 No.19435

>>19422

>Would we bond over shared pessimism or would she just consider me a subnormalfag?

eh sometimes those types go full on psycho, when she isn't cutting her wrists or projecting all of her faults onto you y'all could hit it off depending on your personality type, women regardless if they're doomer or whatnot want to be entertained, knowing how to make them laff is key but a lot of times they're either the abuser or the abusee, seen it both ways where either she'll end up with a complete manipulative assholes whom abuses her psyche or the more assertive doomer gal will hook up with the most effeminate bitch boi she can find, a complete metrosexual.

Chances are if you're not really fucked up or an oddball yourself the doomer gal wouldn't really notice you to begin with.

>>19422

>If you want to feel even worse, just google "shotgun suicide", NSFW obviously.

Meh, I've seen enough suicides IRL from my days working at funeral homes doesn't really do anything for me other than feel bad for the few of their friends/family left behind, but thats the individual's personal decision if they decide to check out from this world, with my horrible luck I'd somehow survive a shotgun suicide with my entire face blown off, more people fail at suicide attempts than succeed believe it or not, suicide by train is a surefire way to go and your mind is made up if you have the balls to stand there as death comes right at ya!


 No.19450

Guys, but do you know where we can find the photos in the bottom of this pic? I think we should find first who posted this pic in order to find them (2nd photo of >>15781);

and what about her funeral? What happened to her body?


 No.19538

>>18923

>shotgun

>not surprising

On one side I think it is surprising that a girl aged 18 would choose this method. It just does not fit the cliche and girls are usually not that courageos and would prefer something more passive. But on the other side. She seemed to have some kind of self hatred and I think the act of blowing away your face does fit with this hatred for oneself.

>>19114

>pic 3

If that was her home then her father was probably more of a failed musician. I wouldn't say she was born into a weatlhy family but it doesnt look like a slum neighborhood either …

>>19193

have you noticed how she never smiled on photos

even when she was with friends

even when it was a situation that should have been enjoyable

she never smiled

didn't even give fake smiles

It really hurts to see her sad face on every photograph ….

>>19208

>Uber driver

the uber driver had a conversation with her. she told him

>I just want to see the snow

When I read that, I was breathless

>>19422

>Kirk O Bane

Didn't he also blow away his head with a shotty? He was also one of the permanently depressed people, doing heroin and he probably hated himself a lot. Heroin and Shotgun suicide again fits the theme of self hatred and wanting to damage or punish yourself because you feel shame or guilt.

>>19450

IIRC, BO-san found those pics on her picasa account. They were behind some javascript so he could not download them and had to screencap it instead. Then I think google blocked her picasa account and they were inaccessible from then on.

In any case, it has been 1 month now.

I hope you found peace Sol


 No.19552

>>19538

These were her google+ propic photos

https://get.google.com/albumarchive/109786850173228463485/album/AF1QipMgGvo4u9LDV7E-afWC0YMiSK0s_m96pGm6VNXk

>When I read that, I was breathless

Yes, it's one of the saddest part, the snow: so cold, so white. so pure, so peacefull…like her…

>IIRC, BO-san found those pics on her picasa account. They were behind some javascript so he could not download them and had to screencap it instead. Then I think google blocked her picasa account and they were inaccessible from then on.

Why they blocked everything (except few things) of her? She didn't do anything bad like other school shooters, she didn't threatened anyone, fuck.

>it has been 1 month now.

Now it's less than 24 hours she committed suicide 30 hours ago

So sad…


 No.19562

>>19552

*days ago


 No.19568

File: a3fb2b2fe00c650⋯.jpg (200.16 KB, 768x941, 768:941, 137df10586ec8f07c7ed93d4cc….jpg)

>>19435

Sol clearly wasn't a psycho. Her writings are too coherent and she was described as calm and caring by her few friends. Yeah I'm an oddball but in a r9k way, not in a good way.

Funeral homes, ideal doomer workplace, though I assume 90+% of the deaths you saw were just boring old people who died in their sleep. We should teach people to aim at the head when they shoot themselves.

>>19538

>It just does not fit the cliche and girls are usually not that courageos and would prefer something more passive.

Yes that's part of what makes the whole thing bizarre and tragic. Sol was an 18 yo girl who chose a 50 yo dude suicide method. Imagine being so determined to kill yourself to

>carefully plan your suicide for 1+ year

>bamboozle experienced gun owners on a forum on your intentions

>buy plane tickets and travel by plane all alone

>bamboozle experienced gun vendor to get shotty

>all alone in the cold without winter clothes

>pulls trigger probably knowing what your corpse will look like after death

Most of us aren't even close to that level of despair. Suicide by shotgun pointed at head is the least painful and most successful suicide method as per lostallhope.org . I'd bet anything that Sol did visit this site.

>have you noticed how she never smiled on photos

This photo of her in primary (?) school is the only one I've found where she genuinely smiles (she sort of smiles on some other photos/videos but it always looks forced). I hope she was happy back when she was a child, but her journal mentions that she felt out of place since forever.

>When I read that, I was breathless

Yeah, the Uber driver should have known something was up. That said Sol had a shotgun with her so she could have forced him to drive her to Mt Evans anyway.

>Kirk O Bane

Sol didn't do drugs though, unlike Cobain. She also didn't seem to feel shame or guilt based on her journal. Just derealization.

>In any case, it has been 1 month now.

1 month that I can't get her off my mind. I remember exactly what I was doing that fateful Monday 15 just like I remember what I was doing during 9/11. Fuck, she could have been stopped, but her plan was flawless…her intelligence was her own doom.

>>19450

>what about her funeral? What happened to her body?

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/198415251/sol-pais

Seems she isn't buried yet. Someone should let a flower to let normies know that she wasn't homicidal.


 No.19571

>>19568

>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/198415251/sol-pais

I've already left a flower, but I would like to do it in real life, if I'll ever go in Miami Beach.

>Seems she isn't buried yet.

Still not? WTF, after all this time?

>1 month that I can't get her off my mind. I remember exactly what I was doing that fateful Monday 15

Same, I remember what I was doing that evening, I was playing PS4 with my friends, but, then idk, the day after I felt weird, like if I was missing something, but I ignored it, untile 3-4 days later, then I became obsessed with this story, it's kinda weird, this whole thing it's so fucking strange, and I can't stop thinking and researching about her, this is so strange.

And what if she is still alive (since we have no more information about what happened to her? I know, it's obviously not possible at 99,99% lol)


 No.19719

>remember what I did on that day

I went to see my sister in the city

when I come back in evening, I see news reports that she was found dead

I first saw her photo on /b/ some guy posted the FBI warning. It was a few days prior. I never expected what this situation would mutate into …

>>19068

>dat subtitles for obvious song

this is like watching a bad comedy show with inserted giggles so that even the greatest retard in room knows when he has to laugh. They ruined the entire video…

Now I need to post on that orbituary site as well


 No.19736

A month ago she was still alive, until few hours later…


 No.19738

File: 10d3a207fb64e09⋯.mp4 (5.59 MB, 640x360, 16:9, Wu-Tang Clan - Tearz (HD).mp4)

Sol's Poem

======

>It's been one month since you gone from this earth

>Your death caused sorrows from New York to Perth

>In hindsight I know that this person was worth,

>even more than pure gold chains, 5 feet in girth

>For a long time you felt that you don't belong

>to any group nor clique, so you had withdrawn

>Then, pain and gloom became your theme song

>You fled to the net, all the day long

>When more time passed, you found birds of a feather

>You kept them dear to you, just like a treasure

>They cherished you too and gave you some pleasure

>But even those friends couldn't lessen your pressure

>Your greatest virtue was your heavenly grace

>A shame you tried to vanish without a trace

>Good night sweet princess, you are too good for this place

>I wish you shot your selfies with smiles on your face

>Good God, How am I supposed to say goodbye?

>It's always the good ones that have to die

>On your plane from home you crossed the blue sky

>For some months you knew that your end was nigh

>Misery in a corner of my mind

>Flashbacks, about knowing that you were kind

>I wonder what it was that you tried to find

>And if your folks the whole time were blind

>From my own view you were as pure as a pearl

>But inside you, there was a dangerous swirl

>I can say for sure that you were a good girl

>And I wish you had a chance in this cold world

>Sadly you were swallowed by your own fears

>And brought pain to your family and to your peers

>Now no life to live, nor feast on new year's

>So after the sadness, I guess, comes the tears

Today I wrote this poem for her. It is 2x 16 lines (2 verses). I wanted to do a third verse but tomorrow I have mandatory government slave work to do for 2 days so I have to get up early. I had a good run and I feel good that I got it going so well.

vid related is my inspiration for it. I took 8 lines from this song and built the rest around it.

I hope you enjoy it will also post on her orbituary website


 No.19820

>>19571

>Still not? WTF, after all this time?

Her death wasn't ordinary. FBIniggers probably still have her body.

>and I can't stop thinking and researching about her, this is so strange.

I felt like this too. I couldn't eat or sleep properly after I read her journal. I had this constant weight on my heart for 1 week or so, trying to answer to this question: Why? What does it feel like to be Sol? What kind of inner demons did she face that made her go full cobain at age fucking 18? She had more doomer street cred than anybody here.

>And what if she is still alive

Interesting reaction. I kinda hoped the same thing but it's just cope. We just *wished* she was still alive. I think it's the loss of a loved one, more than fear of one's own death, that fuels the belief in an afterlife (as well as some conspiracy theories). We wish our loved ones were still here. I experienced more grief for Sol than I did for my grandfather when he died. It' crazy, it's probably the first time in my life that I genuinely care about someone. But now she's dead…this encouraged me to be more on the lookout for suicide signs among my relatives.

>>19738

Not bad, although some lines are creepy. Alexandrines are hard to handle.

It's been 1 month and 1 day. She was still alive not so long ago…


 No.19845

>>19820

>It's been 1 month and 1 day. She was still alive not so long ago…

Since now in Denver it's 11 am, and looking on her last song listened on last.fm at 8:52 pm, it's 1 month and 14 hours after her death…she wasn't been found yet (sorry for bad english lol)


 No.19854

>alexandrines

there was even a name for this?

thank you for making me curious about this. Now I need to investigate this

I read it is about 6 sylabel + 6 sylabel lines

mine were mostly 10 or 11 sylabels per line

but it is right. If 12 sylabels are the natural breath pace then it makes sense. I tried to make it sound good on a 4/4 bars rhythm.

very interesting what I ended up creating.

English is not my native language btw so I hope it was not that bad

One day I want to shoot out a song with 3 verses in 6 sylabel 4x4 lines

But that will be lots of work to get this proficient at it while giving it some meaning on top of it.


 No.19988

File: 16d032ccfa90221⋯.jpg (23.98 KB, 288x288, 1:1, unnamed.jpg)


 No.20089

>>15818

BO, why did you have to make those Sol banners? Now I want to cry everytime I see those.


 No.20181

Guys, it's a month since she had been found dead…

Where does her body could be now? (Her corpse I mean).

We don't have any notice of her since the first days of may…


 No.20213

can we change bump limit on board settings?

thread is gonna dissapear long before the 750 posts are made

or we just sticky it on front


 No.20346

https://youtu.be/tegYa-9biyQ

here are some interviews of her schoolmates, one said he was sitting right behind her and she was called Dark Star, either, I can't understand what Miguel said when he started to talk (I can hear that he was his neighbor, but I'm not sure);

The guys are:

1) Miguel

2) Valentina Ascano (went to elementary school with Sol)

3) Mike Kramer

4) Abigail Gualda


 No.20538

>>20346

"[…] they saw no evidence that Sol Pais was infatuated with Columbine"

Of course they didn't because she was NOT infatuated with Columbine shooters. She just made some passing references to them and was in no way "infatuated" with them or at least had no intention to imitate their actions.

That said there's new info here, a teen mentioned her website, which means it was known by others before this whole mess. Why didn't anyone do anything then? Did they all think it was just a joke despite her clear plans?

Fuck, 1 month and 5 days and it still hurts. Why did it have to be this way.

Unrelated but it's weird to see high schoolers with car as a 30+ loser who failed his driver's license.


 No.20567

File: 0c13da63b76b96d⋯.jpeg (216.48 KB, 829x1040, 829:1040, page34.jpeg)

"I can’t believe how much harder my

Fucking life is getting everything seems to

Be disinteresting in front of my own eyes

One year is to long of time for pain like this,

I just wanna go now I wish I could get

A gun by the end of the summer, I can’t

Look ahead anymore. Dark clouds looming over

Me all the time, I don’t know how to

Bundle myself. It really is fucking insecure how

Things get worse and worse when every time

I think I’ve hit rock bottom it’s not

Shout hitting rock bottom every pas is a

Different kind of hurt, different hurt of

Pain. My masochistic side needs it, but

Fucking need peace or I don’t fucking know

I just need to fucking die, fuck"

This was a clear cry of help, or at least at 99%, this page is one of the saddest, in my opinion…poor Sol, rip Dark Star…


 No.20601

Guys, try to search on Youtube Sol's twitter nickname: 01010011, what the fuck shows up? Those videos are creepy


 No.20638

>>20601

>zeroes and ones

dat seems to be binary code

but I forgot which 2 decimals those would be


 No.20702

>>20601

The numbers are ASCII codes. When translated into characters, they give random words like "sin" or stuff. This is not remarkable IMO.

This thread deserved to be pinned btw, all hail our Queen.




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