/dr/ - Dark Rising

>Be admin of /dr/
>never left basement
>doorbell rings
>Admin has no friends? who could it be
>peels fat ass off chair and hurries upstairs
>has to take a break and breathe once he reaches the top
>manages to drag himself to door
>opens door to delivery man
>special delivery to admin
>Admin begins to sweat profusely as delivery man hands him a letter
>inside letter is a simple message
I don't know which of you narc faggots deleted my jokes but you will regret it
>delivery man is OP
>delivery man beats the spaghetti out of admin
>Rip in pepperonis admin lest we forget

Rolled 2, 20, 18, 6, 11, 17, 12, 15, 3, 16, 19, 1, 5, 8, 18, 15, 18, 14, 20, 10, 6, 3, 2, 10, 5, 17, 10, 13, 19, 11, 13, 1, 11, 10, 7, 1, 7, 18, 16, 10, 14, 14, 11, 18, 2, 9, 12, 19, 3, 12, 9, 8, 14, 10, 17, 19, 6, 7, 11, 5, 17, 3, 6, 7, 13, 12, 8, 20, 10, 3, 10, 3, 17, 20, 20, 18, 8, 12, 17, 10, 3, 5, 18, 17, 15, 15, 15, 20, 1, 6, 5, 18, 8, 10, 4, 1, 2, 12, 20, 11 + 1 = 1099

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.