I'm so plagued by thoughts of murder nonstop. I don't think I'm a psychopath or psychotic maybe I am I don't really care but even when I feel good inside I daydream of picking up women and raping them and strangling them to feel the life drain out. It has to be a woman even without the rape part because I just can't think about men as victims it doesn't arouse me. I just see so many beautiful women that would be such nicer girls dead. I'd like to spend time with a dead body in such a manner.
How can I get therapy to not think this without going to jail and destroying my life but all I can think of is murder and rape fantasies. When I'm pissed off torture is included. But I just feel like killing a woman in a respectful way like strangling and then spending time with them is cute and cuddly like a date with a living woman. Except they don't ruin your idealization of them as a good person.
Pic related the sort of girl which would be so artistic and rewarding to kill such a nasty word kill. Idealize?