5155e2 No.49045
Greentext autism time
>be me
>in work in a restaurant
>literal 10/10 qt pixie kinda grill walks in with her parents
>instantly fall in love with her when taking their order because of how nice she seems
>turns out she has a nut allergy as asks if something has any nuts to make sure
>go ask the chefs
>come back and inform her there's no nuts etc.
>finish taking their order and generally be really nice to them
>whole time they're there i look after them and make sure they get treated well
>friend says "anon, just slip her your number. She'll probably dig it."
>They get deserts and I don't put my number under hers
>Imfuckingretarded.autism
>they finish and get the bill
>have multiple chances again to just walk up to her and be like "excuse me" and hand her my number
>she leaves never to be seen again
>mfw I could have had at least a chance with a 10/10 qt pixie grill
I fucking hate myself right now.
49adcb No.49047
5155e2 No.49049
5155e2 No.49054
>>49052Are you trying to be edgy or something?
posting the same retarded IRA picture isn't edgy, it just makes you look like secterian scum 511657 No.49062
>>49052Ah yes, you aware of who they are too. I have been spying on them too on this board. They are rather distinguished.
5155e2 No.49064
511657 No.49065
>>49064I 'unno
I'm playin along
trying to spook u
5155e2 No.49069
>>49065I'd be slightly angry if it wasn't for the cute anime pic…goddammit them anime pics.
5155e2 No.49071
Also, I guess general fail at life/autism thread as well.
08909e No.49072
5155e2 No.49073
>>49072Why d'aww? I'm a total twat, should have just manned up and done it ffs
08909e No.49074
>>49069they are adorable :3
08909e No.49075
>>49073because you sound adorable :3
i can't resist adorable guys :3
08909e No.49076
it's ok
it's not unreasonable to think that she might come back :3
(unless you work at one of those drive by restaurants on the highway)
49adcb No.49077
>>49060I didn't even mean anything by posting those images but I'm glad to see you get upset about your own projections.
5155e2 No.49080
>>49074Agreed, so hard to stay mad at anything cute related lol
>>49075orly. well, judge for yourself whether I am or not I guess lol
>>49076I dunno, never seen her before. I fucking hope she does come back though…definitely wouldn't puss out this time. I mean, in the slim chance that she actually DOES come back and I give her my number, the chances of her actually texting or calling me are pretty slim hahaha
5155e2 No.49082
72c329 No.49095
>nut allergy
Genetically inferior.
Into the trash it goes.
6565aa No.49132
>>49095>being a moronic turdNut allergies aren't degenerate you tard, being a nigger is.
72a433 No.49135
>>49132Pretty sure the irregularity of the immune system is a degeneracy, but that bitch's a cunt.
dee71d No.49162
>>49045Dude, frankly, pixie girls are the most dangerous girls you could be attracted to… their psychologies are insane. Don't do it, bro. Trust me.
7f4970 No.49541
>>49162How so? Elaborate dear anon!
08909e No.50559
>>49080i stand by my judgement :3
you're adorable
9d271d No.51952
>>50559You are too kind. Where abouts in UK are you femanon? ;)
9d271d No.51957
>>50559>>51952Also apologies on the long reply time, I didn't think you were coming back aha
08909e No.52058
06a0ab No.52218
>>52058orly, Northern Ireland here. I have uncles and cousins in London though and visit there pretty regularly to watch Chelsea matches. Hence…yano…the Chelsea shirt haha :p
should hit me up sometime; perfect_banter@hotmail.com ;) d8644b No.52222
>>49045What's wrong, were you scared it'd turn awkward/she'd make a scene and you'd lose your job?
>because I would be ;_; a63cea No.52224
>>52222>dem quads>hnnnngAnd I'm not sure…I'll do another greentext I guess.
>at time of bill paying>im standing at the pass (where the foods picked up by the servers)>she's at the till standing behind her dad (about 10 feet away, still in sight range with no blockage)>restaurant is quite busy>chef at pass and my friend are telling me "Just do it anon, fucking go" and pushing me>I take out my number and my gaze floats down to it>this is like some slowmo movie shit right here>heart beating out of my chest>palms sweaty>breathing heavy>when i move it's leaving tracers in the light>i look up and make eye contact with pixie grill>ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck>"can I do this?…I gotta do it right now, cmon you can do this anon, HOORA">walk towards her>as i start walking her and her dad start leaving>AREYOUFUCKINGSHITTINGME.jpeg>Think; Do I start running?…jogging at least…Would that be weird?>decide in a split second that I don't run or jog towards them cause that could be considered strange or a bit rapey or whatever>because of this they've left by the time I get to the till>my friend that took their payment is standing there with a sympathetic look on his face>"Why are you here anon? You just missed her">he asks oblivious to the scrumpled up piece of paper in my now ocean like palm>I slowly hand him the piece of paper>"Oh anon…">he says in an empathetic tone which comforts me slightly>"Yeah…">I whisper>"I'm such a fucking vagina, literally hate myself right now">finSo pretty much, it's not that I was scared I'd lose my job. I can get another easily. She wouldn't have made a scene either, I'm like 99% sure if I had have given it to her then she would have probably been embarrassed and probably blushed. I guess in that way it would have been a bit awkward and scene making…it's more the fact that instead of pumping myself up, my subconscious was like "You're going to fail, she's going to laugh at you and throw your number away and everyone's going to see that you're a total loser. THERE'LL BE NO HIDING IT ANON, YOU FUCKING LOSER."
eaeb5a No.52226
That doesn't mean you had a fucking chance you god damned fucking Autist.
a63cea No.52227
>>52226>uses name on an anon imageboard>comes into the thread by being a cunt>posts Tumblr gifGet the fuck out of here dingo fucker
82c48a No.52242
>>52224Yeah but the embarrassed blushy face is the best part :^)
82c48a No.52243
>>52226More of a chance than he has now…
30794f No.52247
>>52242Is it? lol It would have made me do the same as well, like a socially awkward uakari
>>52243Exactly what I'm getting at.
82c48a No.52259
>>52247Idk I really like teasing shy girls and making them all embarrassed and blushy blushy.
de4297 No.52278
>>52259I do love that too I'll admit, but mostly it makes me be the same cause I'm literal shit at talking to women
82c48a No.52298
>>52278I used to be pretty bad at it when I was a shy social retard but I "came out of my shell" when I got my first gf and now I have no trouble.
de4297 No.52302
>>52298Oh don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of girlfriends and I have enough friends to make me satisfied with my life. Just when it comes to talking to women well, I'm a complete wet cabbage. I'm not bad socially in general, just with girls I think are 10/10 cute I can't handle it and just go full retard.
82c48a No.52305
>>52302Are you good at the sexy time?
de4297 No.52310
>>52305Well, I don't like to be one of those guys that's like "AW BRO YOU SHOULDA SEEN IT, SHE CAME LIKE 70 MILLION TIMES SHIT DUDE". I don't really like bragging or anything but yeah, I'd say it's one of my strong points when with a girl. At the minute, I'm 24 and have slept with 18 girls so I don't think I'm doing too bad.
It doesn't make sense…some girls seem to dig the social retardation lol
82c48a No.52317
>>52310The reason I ask is because I used to spaghetti around girls but after my last FWB when I start getting nervous I just imagine what I can do to them, I picture myself making them squirm and moan while they beg me to finish them and suddenly my nervousness melts away and I get a cocky smile.
de4297 No.52320
>>52317I never thought of that before…clever girl. But to be fair, that'd probably just make my dick diamonds and I'd go full scale spaghetti hoop anyway. Oh well, like I said, some girls seem to like it lol
82c48a No.52323
>>52320Idk if it would work for you but it works for me almost every time. Usually that's when they get blushy and look away which just makes me smirk more.
de4297 No.52330
File: 1422629043821.jpg (56.13 KB, 456x946, 228:473, how-you-think-you-look-whe….jpg)
>>52323Reminded me of this for reason hahaha
82c48a No.52333
>>52330I don't exactly have a vagina and I am not into men but I don't think that first one is very sexy.
de4297 No.52335
>>52333Me neither, I think it's just because it's Brad Pitt and women schlick over the thought of him.
08909e No.52429
82c48a No.52463
>>52429For which part :^)
08909e No.52550
30794f No.52553
>>52550Normally women are drooling over him lol
30794f No.52556
>>52550Also, you're not into men?
08909e No.52585
>>52556oh, i counted
> i don't have a vagina and I am not into men"as the 1st thing, so i meant
> I don't think that first one is very sexysorry for the confusion :)
>>52553well, he's normally attractive, but that face he's pulling looks worse than Mr Bean
at least Mr Bean is doing it to look silly :3
30794f No.52587
>>52585I guessed so! Before I die, I want to find a female that ISN'T attracted to Brad Pitt. It'll be an anomaly of mankind.
30794f No.52588
>>52587pic unrelated btw, I just really like Adventure Time.
08909e No.52631
>>52588Adventure time is awesome :3
have you seen Steven Universe?