/fem/ - Female

>>56193
It NEVER works. Really.

>>56197
It doesn't work only because humans are weak willed and imperfect. You are both exposed to desire without any way of physically meeting biological needs.

If you both have enough control over yourselves that you won't just go off and fuck whatever gets your attention in that particular moment, then yes; it can work just fine.

But I've never met a woman who could do that, and only heard of one story where it 'worked out' (LTR, 9 years apart, married 10th year together), and I largely suspect she cheated and not just fucked. but had relationships with a lotta dudes during those 9 years apart. Met plenty of men who could manage it though. It's not like 30+ year old virgin men are hard to come by; or guys who haven't had sex in 3+ years.

Quite frankly, the more I experience sexual and romantic relationships, the more I'm convinced they simply cannot work out long-term, ever. Regardless of distance. Either something is different with women these days than in the past, or women are just biologically driven to jump from relationship to relationship, stuck in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and hoping the next guy will be better while opining about making the mistake of leaving one of those other guys behind.

Fuck. I really wish women weren't like this, but you keep proving me fucking wrong.
Anyways, that's enough 'lol bitter virgin/beta/cuck/whatever' from me. Peace niggas.

>>56193
Jeez, poor femanon!
But it's somewhat true, long distance relationships always end up pretty bad.

I mean a relationship contains a lot physical contact, hugging and kissing. And a long distance relationship is just writing "oh hey darling, I love youuu, kiss "

This isn't it! It's just feels weird to love someone who lives in the end of the world.
If it isn't a temporary thing, if you aren't going to meet in real life and stay together, then it's just not worth it

>>56193
I was in one fore 4 years, she moved in with me now for 2 years.

We "broke up" 4+ times when long distance. Its a lot harder to keep relationship alive.

Though this is a chan, where a lot of peoples only interaction with women is online.

>>56193

OP

I had kind of a long-distance relationship, it took them a couple hours to get to me.

We got along so much better when we saw each other in person, but we would just fight when we were apart. We broke up and now I live halfway across the country.

I really wish things had worked.

>>56384

Don't worry too much about it, guys get over it much quicker and honestly they need to have a little physical discipline now and then

>>56193
>>tfw they say they love you, but don't want to do long distance. ;A;

I know that feel so hard.

>>56197
It does if it end with meeting. I've seen it.

>>56392

Boys recover more quickly from beatings than girls do, both physically and emotionally, and they tend to act out violently more often than girls do when they are young, for which physical discipline is a deterrent. I'm not saying that you should permanently harm your son, but giving him a good hard smack or punch when he does something stupid isn't going to scar him emotionally and he'll recover from it physically just fine

Do you have an actual argument, or are we just going to post sad anime girls and say "oh…no….that's wrong…no" and pretend that's a point

>>56408

Please don't have children.

>>56199
>or women are just biologically driven to jump from relationship to relationship, stuck in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and hoping the next guy will be better
Well TBH I'm kind of like this, and I'm a guy. I think I just like the "chase", as soon as I "get" a girl I instantly like her 10x less. After I'm with her for a while I can't stop thinking that there might be something "better" out there that I'm missing out on.

>>56410
this

don't hit your kids

>>56193
No, i'm involved in one in this moment and it sucks, i don't trust in her, because some things she said when we meet, she's very attractive and she really enjoy the male attention, we develop some kind of "deep" relationship, but to be honest this is like torture, if you really care about the other person then this will be a hell for you…. i feel like a torture

>>56199

The mistake people in general, not just women, make is being unable to accept their responsibility in either why a relationship ends or why it is shitty.

People get into relationships with people expecting them to fill some kind of mold; often this is some sort of unattainable perfection that one is unable to meet because they're only human.

Once the person stops giving whatever it was that attracted them in the first place and requires something themselves then that's where "dissatisfaction" sets in. This is why it's an utter mistake to start a relationship based on "chemistry". This amorphous, impossible to define thing. You know what happens in actual chemical reactions? They end.

>>56435
so much this…

but i disagree with the part of "they're only human"
we all should look for self growth to be a better person for us and for others

>>56408

gr8 b8 m8

if this isn't bait then god help your poor children if the universe should ever make the mistake of bestowing any upon you

>>56437

Being a human being intrinsically means that you're not able to fulfill any sort of mold someone imposes upon you to fill. You can only be yourself. Not some sort of vague being who meets the demands of someone else unflinchingly without needing any support yourself.

I don't know how you took that to mean that you shouldn't strive for some sort of personal growth and development but in general it's better not to assume things that haven't been said.

>>56440
sorry for that.

i just try to say that i wish people would be more intelligent and learn to be alone instead of having a relationship all the time, loneliness is a very useful tool to learn all the tools to avoid this kind of things

>>56443

Think nothing of it.

I agree completely. If I'm not comfortable being alone I can't be comfortable in the presence of another person. If I find myself insufferable how is this other person going to find me?

With that said at the same time one need only to look within for fulfilment. If you NEED someone else to provide that for you then you're making a grave mistake and looking to be taken advantage of in many regards.

>>56408
It leans very hard on blatantly wrong and you do seem to be insincere.

Could you atleast give a context of a situation where such a thing would be okay? I mean surely the circumstances you see of hitting a young male as being okay isn't too broad.

Inflicting physical pain to an unwilling child or anyone for any reason is definitely alost entirely wrong in my view. Though if you are for example helping and developing your son in something that he wants to do that is dangerous or difficult, there would probably be instances where you should hit them if they crucially need to acknowledge and understand some sort of risk or if they need to be more sharp and determined. There will be many sports and other things like that, and it would be okay if he understands and he respects you. Just generally, if there's a significant responsibility that they are going through that they will be able to emotionally grasp properly, then there are times that such a thing is okay. This would probably also apply to females sometimes but much more rarely.

Vaguely saying that hitting your child for discipline and supposed unlikeliness that he would be emotionally harmed is really stupid and implies that the specifics of this view would hold a lot of terrible things about it. It's quite disturbing, but honestly most people in general don't really grasp all of the severe potential emotional issues it can cause. I mean everyone has gone through plenty of indoctrination these days about inflicting physical pain for discipline being wrong, so people do generally see it as almost entirely wrong now, but not in a way that they understand so well. It is more that they just don't think about it. It's sad, people can have such little empathy that they can approve acts that probably even a dog wouldn't fare well in recieving.

>Meet lovely girl.
>Worst tease on the planet.
>See eye to eye on everything.

>Complete Romeo and Juliet situation though.
>Alright this isn't healthy, back to life's other problems.

>Where do you think you're going hot shot?
>You forgot this crate full of mind grenades.

>Coming back to consciousness, I'm in Vegas covered in vomit, piss and missing a kidney.
>Great, I married a spitfire mouth and I'm a shit.
>Revaluate life.

I don't recommend it.

I'm so weary and hurt because of circumstances you know nothing of. I keep feeling colder in my thoughts of you, but then I keep remembering how amazing it was when I felt passionate about you and I just keep realising that I've lost so much connection with you. All I need to do is explain everything that has been happening lately, and just hope you still love me, but I'm scared of what will happen and I definitely need to process it through in a slow and careful way. That's what I'm so scared of though, I'm so scared that you won't love me for who I really am. It feels so confusing and weird, the way things are with us. You've been so disheartened with me on so many occasions just for my behavior and activities, just because of the way things have painted out who I am. I mean I did do things that were stupid and totally phased out, but I feel like there's a whole lot of supression and isolation that I kept myself to after all the times that happened, and though I'm grateful about you pulling me out of a lot of things, I've really killed most of my ability to exert new things I feel to you because I'm so frightened of being someone you won't love. The way you feel seems so conflicting and like you're not actually meant to love me. You've said plenty of times, plenty of times, that you don't love me quite as much as that one time in the beginning of dating me. Of all the times you've enjoyed my personality and found me cute, it doesn't seem deep enough and you don't seem to always think things about me have been so great. Besides that, we've practically always had the dynamic of siblings before all this, we still seem to resemble that now too. It just feels like we have differences and hostilities that siblings do too. It just keeps seeming like our love and care for each other isn't supposed to be romantic at all. I don't know what to do about anything because I don't know how things should end up being.

No matter how I always thought about it, even after all the problems and doubts started happening, I felt like I knew what I was supposed to feel with you. I made a realisation that it was a lot of pressure and fear and lying that made the love start fading for me. I realised that I probably do love you on a romantic level because of everything you mean to me. I think it's literally only me though. I mean I had the crush for a long time before you confessed to me. I had the assumption that there was no way you'd feel the same as me so I was never going to say anything because of how important you were and how I didn't want my crush to linger over the atmosphere of our interaction. If I admitted it and went on being friends with you it seemed like that would be weird. So it just was me originally, but then you started being confused one day, and then after a while you confessed to me. You felt like you loved me and I was so shocked and had an immediate burst of how I felt for you. When it happened for you, you were just as scared as me about saying anything but you were the kind of person who felt like they had to say it so when you did it was so relieving and emotional and so blissful in the beginning. After all of it though, it just doesn't seem like you really are meant to love me. It seems like a mistake that you made in your current outlook you had on me, and it seems like the outlook you have now just has a lot of suppression and false reassurance. I just, I just can't see how you love me. I don't think you do, not romantically. I'm the one who does, or maybe I also don't love you anymore, but I can't tell right now.

Right now everything's hazy. I think you believe you love me right now but because you expect things to change again. You're spending time with your best friend and I'm supposedly fine by the words I give you. You can do more of what you want so you can distract yourself whilst also letting me know whats happening to you and what you do and who you are. I'm distracting myself with secret things, I'm not talking to you properly, so now I can't embrace my thoughts of you and feel you close. Now I can't dream of kissing you like all those times when we were actually together.

And besides this, I even started exploring something. Something that sets the tides apart on whether I should be in love with you or not. I was sure I would always love you even with the problems and even if we weren't meant to be together cus of you, but now it also has another difference. I'm so tantalised lately with new thoughts of romance and other things. I'm so tantalised with the idea of being with another girl. I never thought such thoughts would feel good, I guess it makes a lot of sense though. It reinforces a lot of problems and complexes, but also it does seem really really fun and romantic, and most amazingly, sexual things are really interesting about it and not boring at all. I actually crave it. So now I'm actually feeling love for something so different. So now I have to face even more confusion. I don't know how to clear things up now, I don't now how to lead things on.

And yet, you may be the one who thinks everything is relatively okay now, you may be the one who is lax right now and the one who isn't having so much thought and worry about everything, but you are still like always, the most responsible and caring one, and you give me lots of attention still, more than I give you. It's so weird. You are really thoughtful and kind to me, you are always caring about me and making sure I'm okay. But, that really actually makes a lot of sense doesn't it? You've always known me, practically no one else even new me at all in my life but you always did. You always knew my secret world of problems. I always relied on you so much and tugged on you. You're my older brother, you are. You are, aren't you? I'm just the young and stupid immature little sister. It's why you are so strong and responsible, it's why I get relentless amounts of undeserved important help from you. Also, all the problems with loving me, it makes sense actually. I mean, from one perspective it seems ridiculous, but it does make a lot of sense. It's because of all the problems of before, all the things you had to hold my hand for, all the ugly sides and brokenness I had. You realised it's hard to go out with someone so vulnerable that you always had to help so much and bare all my patheticness. You just grew really conflicted and frustrated over it all. That's why things ended up this way. I loved you, you tried to love me, you changed me, I changed for you, I couldn't fulfill the changes, I kept myself honest for you for a whole year, then I lied once, then after once it became many times, and I just started being secret, because I'm scared of dealing with the situation and I don't know what to do.

It's sort of just, I guess I might be friends with you after I get things sorted out, but I'm hoping there's a way you can love me after this. I have been doing quite a few things and I just want you to know what they are. I feel excited to say stuff because I have been doing things that have been making me happy. Like I've just been seeing interest in new things and stuff. Also, I've been sorta making new friends, like my first ever that aren't you maybe. Well, first true ones I mean. I mean I'm still really anxious around anyone else that isn't you, and I'm often just not talking to anyone when I'm not around you, but sometimes I do, and sometimes its really great. Like there have been quite a lot of moments I guess.

I want this to be vented somewhere and I can't tell you it, but you also told me you saw a post on here that you thought was mine, and I denied it, but it was. So I guess I want you to notice this and like it's a scary risk, oh god. So maybe this will push things over the edge or maybe not. Nrgh. I've been here a while. It's kinda quiet here and I have a bit of fun talking about things here. I go on other boards but feel a lot less engaged with conversation because of how busy things are.

>>56841
Why are you so embarrassed? You sound like me if I had the guts to rant like that.

>>56866
Oh, well I just figured it was strange after I typed it because of how long it was, I thought I didn't make sense doing that so I felt dumb. Like if it was shorter it would just be whatever and wouldn't matter I guess. I didn't want to put all that I wish I had less running through my mind I just felt like bursting out