c177a3 No.57793
So /fem/ I have seen a couple of ">tfw no bf on Valentines day" or ">tfw no gf on Valentines day" threads so far.
But seriously, do you really need a bf/gf? All I have seen lately are relationships breaking down because one of the people was either a total cock, didn't treat the other person the way they should have been treated or are just an immature spoilt little brat. I think people rush into relationships far too quickly these days because they feel like they should be in one, because they feel lonely, they feel scared to connect with someone unless they trust them. The human condition states that there's four ultimate concerns of human existence; meaning, loneliness, freedom, and mortality.
I think at least 2 of these - not to mention various social factors - push us to want to be with someone. Like I said though, I have only seen one relationship (it's about 4/5 months into it mind you) that looks like it could stay stable and actually flourish into something incredible whereas the rest seem to be ripe with anger, controlling and jealousy.
So I hark back to my original point, do you really need a bf/gf?
I mean, the best thing about having one is obviously the cuddling, intimacy, sex, trust, etc. But surely if you just had a friend with benefits and you both understood the situation then that would be better? Also, pic related, it's mfw all these relationships are failing because one person is just shit at living.
side note; sorry my eccentric rambling
16db42 No.57978
>>57793Seriously…no one fancied commenting on this? Absolutely haram.
a1c69d No.57989
It also doesn't help that romance is a heavily idealized concept, often leading to unrealistic expectations and resentment when those expectations aren't met.
248939 No.58019
>>57793You're overthinking about it. Everyone wants a bf/gf because everyone wants sex. End of story.
50af65 No.58020
>But surely if you just had a friend with benefits and you both understood the situation then that would be better?
This has the "sex" part but not the "intimacy" part. Guess what we need.
248939 No.58025
>>58020I don't get it. Which one of these gives you more "intimacy"?
* The partner you've known for a long time, shares some of your interests, hangs out with you, skips all the drama and bullshit and goes straight to having sex with you just because. No hard feelings, compulsiveness or jealousy.
* The stranger you met based on appearance at random event/place, who probably doesn't share your interests, took you to some "dates" which usually involve doing cliched boring shit that's got nothing to do with what you actually like doing and interchanging cheesy remarks because you don't really have much else to talk about given your lack of common interests. That same stranger is now entitled to be possessive over you. Fucking up while having sex usually has long-lasting consequences.
In case you didn't notice, the former is the friend with benefits and the latter is the boyfriend/girlfriend. Being in a "serious" relationship doesn't imply intimacy. You could have a really close friend with benefits who's willing to listen to and have sex with you.
94bbe6 No.58027
'Friends with benefits' is a fantasy that never works in the real world. It'll always end with either a ruined friendship one way or the other.
a83393 No.58034
>>58025>took you to some "dates" which usually involve doing cliched boring shit that's got nothing to do with what you actually like doing and interchanging cheesy remarks because you don't really have much else to talk about given your lack of common interests. That same stranger is now entitled to be possessive over you. Fucking up while having sex usually has long-lasting consequences.if that's how I felt after a few dates, I wouldn't go into a relationship with them to begin with.
812544 No.58038
>>58019That's not true. I'm male, I have a very high sex drive, but I want a gf because I want to love and be loved.
It's unfortunate that with the time in which we live that's seen as weakness, but that's life I guess.
63d5de No.58043
>>57793A friend with benefits is usually just somebody who is too afraid to commit to a relationship, but wants all the benefits of one tbh. Besides, once you get attached to somebody, like a FWB, you will start getting jealous, and in the end, it just hurts both parties more.
534112 No.58046
>>57793I have only had sex with one girl and she was a long time FWB. All of the perks of dating without any of the relationship pressure/drama.
95cbfb No.58122
>>58025>"dates" which usually involve doing cliched boring shit that's got nothing to do with what you actually like doingi think you might be doing it wrong, friend
5b80bc No.58125
It would be nice to have a bf to share things and shoot the shit with, but I don't NEED one, especially not right now. I'm at a good place in my life, so I'm perfectly happy with where I am. Maybe in a year or so, I'll start looking for relationship material. You gotta do you first.
274336 No.58129
>>57793>haven't dated anyone for 7 years>have fuck buddy neckbread longtime friend>we fuck, game, get drunk, watch movies (not in that order usually)Intimacy is over-rated. Sex is nice, yeah, and it benefits both of us. Have quit before and were still friends. If he finds a chick and wants to get serious, that's totally cool with me. If he asked, I'd vouch for how exceptionally good he is at oral in order to help him land a date. Right now, I don't want anything more.
Fuck buddies do exist just as people who can't handle being a fuck buddy exist. It takes clear understanding and identical expectations. Some people can't do that.
9be23e No.58143
I probably don't deserve someone to love, but the thought of it is nice anyways. The fact of the matter is that it's just people bashing heads together and finding conflict where they want to find ideals. This is necessary because of the way human attraction works it all has to be so subtle, so no one can go over and just say, "I need a partner that believes this, this and this."
We tried that with online dating, and no one takes it seriously.
16db42 No.58147
>>58025My nigga gets it.
>>58038Agreed. Same boat here bro!
>>58043I disagree. I honestly cannot be bothered with the stress of a relationship. I just want someone to chill with and it to be be easy and have some added sex jej
>>58125I agree.
>>58129Ya, I had a FWB until she moved to another country. Was a major bummer, she was totally cool. All we done was watch Netflix, eat, smoke weed, listen to music and fuck lol
>>58143Yeahhhhhh, it's kinda depressing isn't it?
>I don't deserve somebody to loveDon't say that anon, everyone deserves somebody.
63d5de No.58189
>>58147Meh, well my experience with FWB is limited to pretty much one person, and idk what is going on with that atm. Last year they acted like they wanted to date me, sending me love letters and shit, but kept turning me down when I asked, but now they have an online gf/bf who they insist is just online, and they keep flirting with me and shit. Plus they get pissy if I even mention that I like somebody else, even if it's a fucking movie character or something, and start bringing me down because of it (they would never want you, you're creepy, you're gross, etc)
Ugh idk. It's just ruined the entire idea of FWB for me completely.
248939 No.58221
>>58189That's because you've never had a real FWB. What you're describing is immaturity and manipulation.
Granted, finding an actual FWB is pretty hard. Not as hard as starting a decent relationship though.