/fem/ - Female

>>58352
Is this an epic new meme?

>>58353
I wish.

>>58355
If everything you're saying is true, then leave that faggot and get some help. I don't know why you haven't called the cops on his dumb ass already.

>>58357
I'm not an American citizen so I'm not sure to what extent the police would help me. He's also used up all my money, and I honestly don't have a penny to my name at this point.

>>58358
Even then, they have to help you in some capacity. It's better to try than not. Mention the money thing to them, too. Get everything you can on him to help your case. What he's doing is pretty much domestic abuse.

>>58361
I've struggled against him before, but he's ex-military and built like a freight train. Even if I kick and punch at him he easily flips me over and pins me down. I'm barely 5'2" and my college confiscated my pepper spray/pocketknife.

>>58362
Won't that get him into serious trouble? I guess I don't want to ruin his life or anything, since he did help me a lot at the beginning. I just want to get enough cash to fly over to Boston and stay with a friend.

>>58365
>Ex-military
So he is a total faggot? No wonder that he is an abusing piece of shit. We had many threads about how to deal with fat Ex-military fucks on 4chans /k/, you should really consider making a thread there.

At least we have learned: never every have an ex-soldier as boyfriend.

Oh, and don't pretend that he have helped you, he is a dumb asshole who ruined your life so it's ok to ruin his life, too.

>>58358
>I'm not an American citizen so I'm not sure to what extent the police would help me.

Are you saying that you aren't in the US (or a similarly developed country) or just that you are there, but not a citizen? If the latter, that makes no difference from a law enforcement perspective; domestic abuse is a crime regardless of whether the victim is a citizen.

>>58367
He used to be in the ROTC airforce, if I remember correctly. I guess I just fell for the whole "boys in uniform" thing.

>>58369
I'm a Korean citizen on a student visa. Right now I'm not even enrolled for the semester because of my leave of absence. The US government is quite literally tolerating my presence here because of my medical issues.

>>58352
>He's a great guy otherwise
Uh, I'm sorry, but, are you fucking retarded? Leave him already. You've got enough shit to put up with.

Seriously woman, what the fuck.

>>58373
Koreans are cuties :o
Why would he even beat you?

>>58373

Well, that makes no difference to the police. Your boyfriend is a US citizen (I presume) and he has committed a crime in US territory for which he can be lawfully prosecuted. I recommend seeking them out while you still have marks to show as evidence.

>>58376
I'm really trying hard to get un-stuck in the "he was there for me when I got diagnosed with ptsd" mentality. It's still hard, though.

>>58377
This one was my first boyfriend.

>>58379
t-thank you, but I'm one of the uglier ones ;_;

>>58381
I don't think I have any marks as of now. They're more like sores on my skin that hurt when I even brush up against them, but they're not horrifically black and blue or anything. The only things that were left from the incident are his self-harm wounds (that I bandaged up for him)

>>58367
This so much. NEVER date a ex-military guy, something a friend of mine is experiencing first hand. We keep telling her to leave his dumb ass, but they had a son about a year ago and that's literally the only reason she won't leave him.

>>58383

How long will you be in the US? If you aren't staying long anyway, it may be easier on you to just leave rather than getting into a lengthy court battle.

>>58390
I'm planning to go back to Korea for at least the first half of summer break. I don't want to take him to court or anything like that.
I guess I just don't want to feel guilty about leaving him, even when he's threatening suicide.

>>58391
See you need to get out of that mindset. Fuck that motherfucker. Leave his ass right away. Get to Boston as soon as you can.

>>58391

Sounds to me like he doesn't deserve your guilt or sympathy. You've done nothing wrong here, so you have no reason to feel guilty.

>>58383
I'm a virgin by myself but damnit, have some standards plz!
And don't call yourself ugly, every girl calls herself ugly, even I call myself ugly but my friend tell me that I look… Pretty avarage-good.
Do you wear glasses?~

>>58392
He took all my cash, though. I can make like $10 every three days doing some writing skit or other, but that's nowhere near how much plane tickets cost. Could staying at, say, a shelter until I get enough money be an option?

>>58400
Of course it is. Go to the police, file a report on him, then ask about nearby women's shelters. They'll let you stay as long as you need and take care of you.

>>58402
That sounds pretty amazing. Thanks for introducing me to this option. Say, will the shelters point me in the direction of affordable shrinks in the area? I need a few forms filled out by psychologists to go back to school…

>>58399
Growing up in Korea surrounded by pretty girls has been hard on me. I'm one of the no-double-eyelid girls who are considered sub-par ;_; I wear glasses occasionally

>>58405
Yeah, they should know of a few in the area. Some shelters have in-house counseling, so just be sure to ask.

>>58405
Oh come on, you shouldn't sell your for that cheap! Just because you have seen pretty girls it doesn't mean that you are ugly! If I just watched male parfume models every day I would also say that they look pretty nice and I look ugly, but this isn't true!

Maybe those girls were ugly and you don't know it. Maybe those girls thought that you are pretty and you didn't know.
Look, if you just think about "perfect girls" you will always feel ugly. But you are deniying the reality. I don't know how you look like but I know one thing: calling yourself ugly is always wrong. Always!

Besides that I find glasses cute

>>58350
What's his favorite AK-47 skin?

>>58430
Beef jerky
What the fuck is this stupid question? She never said that he play global offense and skins are for even bigger CoD retards.

>>58432
He's just trying to derail the convo with his stupid /b/ tier shit. Pay no mind to that retard.

>>58350

Well… that sounds horrible.
(Assuming that you are indeed serious)

Do you have any other Korean connections that might help you?
Like… on KakaoTalk or something?

As a Korean living in the US, I find the Korean community helpful sometimes.
Maybe they could help you.
Or at least give you some legal advice on how to deal with this shit.

OP here, I had to go in hiding because I thought he was coming back.

>>58430
>>58432
Interestingly enough he does play CS:GO, although I have no idea what his favorite skin is. He's bragged to me that he's competed in a huge CS:GO tournament, though– I think he said nationals.

>>58437
My parents have gone apeshit crazy ever since I told them about my PTSD diagnosis. They've disowned me since, and they've been pretty much going around excluding me from Korean communities. Something about not being a "respectful and obedient" daughter for seeing a shrink. :/

I'm actually packing my stuff right now to go find a shelter or something. It just hit me that nobody should be this terrified of their significant other coming home. I'll probably run into him on my way out, but I'll talk to you guys later when I get to a safer place.

>>58439

Well… honestly that sounds unbelievable.
I too am a Korean dude and don't think seeing a shrink is a disrespect.
(as a matter of fact, WTF is wrong with this obsession over 'respect')


Anyway, good luck femnon.

I feel I have to do something.
But sadly, Good Luck is the only thing I can realistically give you.

>he smears his blood all over my face and clothes, forces me to basically drink his blood

This is my fetish

OP here, I called the cops and they checked me into a hospital. I told the police I didn't want to press charges.
I should be feeling horrible that the now ex-boyfriend is probably being questioned and all that, but I think I did the right thing for my safety. Now unless he starts obsessively stalking me and shit I'll be fine, I hope. The police officers were also extremely kind. Thanks for the support and for pushing me to the right direction, /fem/. You guys rock. I'll lurk here more often now.

>>58495
I'm glad things turned out the way they did. If you ever need anything, we're here to help you out any way we can.

some things i just don't get…
OP, I'm not bad mouthing you, it's just…
If he's done this to you he'll do it to someone else. That's a good reason to press charges.
The advice to go to cops was good but the otherwise lack of anything….
(shakes head)

For 1 you could also talk to your embassy.
IDK what the laws r where u r (where I am only 1 party needs to know of the recording for it to be legal in court) but secretly audio recording the events would be good proof. In today's society cameras are everywhere, so take note of the public locations to see if the cops can go question surrounding businesses to view their cam tapes, interview employees working at that time, see private homes' security tapes as well as the college and the public, like traffic cams.
His "suicidial attempts" are another way to abuse and control you.
I hope you can somehow prove your money and his theft and both press charges and take him to civil court.
Your non-citizen situation means squat unless you're breaking visa conditions which is entirely separate. I can understand the confusion and scared tho. Likewise, regarding other advice, citizen means nothing in a crime, where it happened means everything.
You left, told police, you're great, but I think you should press charges.
When doing the right thing, like protecting yourself, you shouldn't accept feelings of guilt. Also, forgiveness, even kindness, does not preclude a neccessity for justice. He obviously needs serious help that, w/o being held crimanlly responsible, he may never get.

I'm just throwing everything out, quickly, w/o a lot of intense detail b/c it's a lot of stuff. I talk a lot, & all people should be aware of this stuff. I hope I'm helpful, including the little things like wording. Ex., I said don't accept guilt feelings. I understand OPs history, and many other situations, that will cause feelings of guilt even tho you aren't guilty and shouldn't feel guilty but you do. Learning new things take time, understanding & practice. Like, feeling guilty, don't accept those feelings, realize the truth (actually look at & evaulate) and 'move on' (decide new patterns of re/action for yourself that are healthy & positive).

BTW, I just find this place & thread tonite & this my 1st & will be only post. OP best of luck in moving on.

>>58352

wow… yeah, leave him, fucking obviously, he sounds horrible and in need of medication.