/fem/ - Female

Girltalkers will probably have more to say on this than /fem/ tiers.

Just be:

- kind,

- warm (caring and 'motherly' - guys like that open up to it)

- sweet

- try to crack a couple jokes (not too many as guys know/feel that they're supposed to be the one who's funny etc.)

- A tiny bit flirty so he knows he's not in the friendzone (but not too flirty, as you don't want him to think you're promiscuous etc.)

- Try not to talk about yourself too much when hanging out etc (I know it's hard to fight the urge when you're nervous and want to keep literally any conversation going etc.)

- Try not to present yourself to him in a 'equal-friend/co-worker' cold and calculated kind of way (like the sarcastic up-tight girl you turn into when you're nervous *defense mechanism*) Let your walls come down a bit, and try to open up to him > without absolutely flooding him with drama/emotion, of course. The reason for this, is that it triggers his subconscious male 'instincts' (how he reacts to things like this will be a sure sign of how he feels about you) and his protector/lover/provider instincts will kick in a bit, which will create a chance for him to feel needed and wanted by you (if you embrace his attention/comfort). This will trigger the 'love' chemicals in the brain to start slowly releasing…

- Also try to dress for beauty, rather than sexy (except when you wanna have your way with him etc ;D)

- Don't be afraid of approaching him, as you need to think of guys like opportunist wolves; they will take the wins when they can get them, and even when the game's changed, i.e. you approaching, 'hunting' them, they'll adapt, and accept the win all the same :) … most guys don't really care much for the 'hunt', as it's really more of a necessity, than an indulgence.

I'm sorry if all this seems really autistic, but I guess I just don't know enough about your situation…

Oh and also, you're bound to have more success off of online dating; by going out to events/meetups that suit your interests, and so you can meet someone naturally (this allows a more real kind of chemistry and pair-bonding 'meant to be' kind of relationship/courtship etc.)

All the best, peace :3

>>65580

whoops lol

*warm (caring and 'motherly' - guys subconsciously like that, and they open up to it)

<3

>>65580

Oh, and I forgot to say, if he's ultra impervious to any hints or advances you're making, don't be afraid to make things a little less subtle as needed. It won't kill the 'mood' for him, as once again remember he's the 'opportunist wolf who adapts to get/accept his win however it comes, and he's a happy wolfie all the same'.

Also, remember, treat any time you have with the guy you're after as a date, regardless if it is or not. And remember: put down your walls; you're not at a job interview, you're at a love interview!

Peace <3

>>65583

OP here, thank you so much kind anon ;u; this really helped put a new perspective! much love~

>>65589

Hehe no worries sista :3

Also, I should mention that used to a really curvy, 'plus size' girl, (eh-ehm I mean reeeaaally plus size) until I one day randomly stumbled upon a video on youtube about veganism after looking up some health food thing. This video blew me away, and woke me up to the tourturous hell that animals live through, AND the damage to health that consuming animal products does. So anyway I went 100% vegan, and about 4 to 6 months later I literally lost all of the excess 'curves' (~180 to ~130 pound). Now I'm full of so much energy, I'm slim, and WAY less depressed etc (plus it makes sex a gazillion times better ;3).

Anyhoo, that's my good samaratan job done for the day (at least I hope.. :s) all the best, anon! Peace <3

>>65590

Dammit lol I'm so bad with proof reading xD

*that I used to be a really curvy..

Well I'm not a woman but I'd say just stop worrying, you're still too young. Plus, school/highschool times are hell, you basically live in a closed frying pan with the same highly competitive and gossiping people for years.

I guarantee you much of your social anxiety will go away once you go to college and/or start working or whatever. And flirts will be less silly and retarded.

If a guy's into you, you don't really have to do anything. Just throw yourself at him. He'll catch.

>>65612

So what if a guy's not that into you?

>>65613

If he's awkward, shy, or introverted, just become his friend (and if you can't appreciate him as a friend then you shouldn't be pursuijg him at all) and gradually work at tipping the balance in your favour. Do this subtly, because sometimes we like to pretend we're clueless about your advances when in reality we are scared absolutely shitless. If he still doesn't like you after ascending the tiers of his friendship, then just remain his friend and enjoy that you have at least that much ;-;. As I said earlier, pressing the issue will scare us shitless.

If he is none of those, then I'm afraid I don't know because I can only speak from experience and my experience is being an awkward, shy, introvert.

As a man, the only good romantic relationship I've ever had is with a woman who was my friend for over a year first. This is entirely because it showed we had the same interests, similar opinions, and could consistently relate to one another; the people who say opposites attract can simply go fuck themselves. The girls I dated before my current girlfriend were pretty, had superficially similar interests (I met one at a con, for instance), but I eventually got bored with them because they were asinine and their powerlevels were far too low. I just say this because I personally have never been in and cannot imagine a long-lasting relationship based entirely on flirting.

This is a pretty fucking obvious statement, but male/female interpersonal relationships are a little bit awkward on account of our biology. Although I wouldn't go as far as to say "men can't have female friends," since that sentiment is utterly fucking retarded, when a man is single and a woman is single and neither thinks the other is fugly, no matter the context, it's impossible to escape from some degree of sexual tension. Generally speaking, this tension is absolutely meaningless and goes unsaid for that reason (or, if one of them is already in a relationship, the feeling will get shot down by the thought "I don't need them, I already have someone I love," unless they're a rotten person). With that in mind, when you meet a single guy who you share a common interest strong enough to have an actually significant (either talking in depth or an hour or more long) conversation with and he's friendly with you, you've got a chance with him - you can capitalize on said sexual tension.

So, here's something fun that I noticed.

>teenager

>never had a boyfriend

>shy, kind of introverted

>sarcastic

Did you know that those are actually considered adorable by many and if a guy is already noticeably flirting with you, you're attractive enough to warrant that guy's attention at all and thus have an opportunity to use these cute qualities to your advantage? All you have to do is be honest. I know that's hard, I know you fear rejection - everybody does. But at the point where he's flirting with you, all you have to do is literally tell him he's cute, touch his hand or arm, and be bashful. You don't have to be forward, all you have to do is reciprocate and be a little affectionate - be as affectionate as you want to be, in fact. Hell, if he's flirting with you, be as affectionate as you *wish* you could be.

Otherwise, >>65580's advice is pretty sound, if a bit laughable in that it characterizes men as "opportunistic wolves" whose subconscious minds you want to exploit. Well, I guess us guys often do the same shit when we trade tips about approaching women. What gets lost in the rhetoric is that men and women are just people. There's nothing particularly special, mysterious, or significant about them in the grand scheme of things.

>>65595

>>65620

(OP) both of these are amazing tbh tysm ;; im excited to go to college cause more guys and less social pressure, plus no one seems to give a fuck about the small tiny things like in HS. be whoever you wanna be no one cares.

ive heard people say that guys like the shy girl but ofc in HS most of the guys go towards the very loud, obnoxious if not somewhat air headed girls. not to say i cant be that way sometimes lmao

>>65629

I'm the one who wrote:

>>65595

And…

>(OP) both of these are amazing tbh tysm ;; im excited to go to college cause more guys and less social pressure, plus no one seems to give a fuck about the small tiny things like in HS. be whoever you wanna be no one cares.

This is true

>ive heard people say that guys like the shy girl but ofc in HS most of the guys go towards the very loud, obnoxious if not somewhat air headed girls. not to say i cant be that way sometimes lmao

But this is not. Socializing in College in a way is harder than in school days because you have to activelly try it. Although college life in BR is fairly different from USA, I think what I'm going to say here is still the same: in college the only "forced" contact you'll have with your classmates is in those particular classes you have with them. There are many things that make you have less intense daily contact with other people.

1- You have less class with the same people because they pick slightly different grades

2- From the moment you all leave the class, each person will do its own thing. It's not a school, people aren't forced to stay around in the campus once the class ends and there's no lunchbreak, you really won't have as many opportunities to socialize with your classmates as in school days.

3- People have more stuff to do other than going to school. This becomes stronger specially in the last years of college: people will be working, doing internship, having gfs and even being married, preparing post-grad thesis, etc. So they really won't stick around much. I remember that in the first two semesters we would all stick around for a while after the class was over, while during the last two semesters the opportunity to get us all together in the campus was non-existent.

I tell you this also as a shut in, the last years in college were specially lonely to me. People doing college socialize by going to parties, diong dinner together, etc. If you don't try these "extra-campus" activities you'll end up with not many opportunities to know new people, like it hapenned to me.

But it's precisely because of this distance that people in college are way more laid back about other people's life and how to interact with one another. In the end it's still better than school life, specially for relationships since people are more experience both with flirting and relationships themselves, so they won't ge fuzzy about silly things like teenagers discovering sex.

>>65580

Not OP but how does one act 'motherly'? I've been told to do this when attracting guys, but I never got a clear answer.

>>66024

Imagine the poetry of a warrior returning home, to find his village obliterated and gone. Imagine his sadness, his exhaustion, and his weariness upon stumbling into the Bannered Mare in Whiterun.

Imagine what a bar maiden would do to make him feel better. Picture the humanity, the emotional connection, the nurturing required to heal that warrior.

You get my jive?

>>65590

I think you may have a point with the "men don't care for the hunt that much". I'll let you test that theory on me. Let's meet up.

>>66024

'motherly' is a little misleading…

I would say nurturing or something.

There's not really a word for me to use to describe it-because women don't want to be a mother to their spouse, right?

But men don't want to be treated like a child-so not motherly.

But we want attention and love-just like any woman. But whereas women want something hard and strong, men want something soft and comforting.

Men aren't broken women or big children, they're different than women.

Women aren't weak men or big children either, they're different than men.

That's why the fucking feminism and shit pisses me off-because I'm not a fucking woman and I'm not fucking broken.

Now treat me like a human being or fuck off.

/rant

In that moment, I realized that the universe was not preserved by the machinations of greed, or by hunger, or fear, but by the tireless workings of a quiet love.

>>65580

>online dating

>motherly

>17

You know how I know you're a male?

>17

pfft, try 20

>>66520

This. THe only thing I would add is that you don't have to submit.

If you don't want the boy to lose interest and go away, you can either act all meek and submissive and let him sexually take you, or you can do what I love to do.

Get him alone and jump his shit. Ask to see his place, invite him to yours, and otherwise set it up. You don't have to be uncertain about yourself. Inexperienced girls are still fucking hot to boys. Just make sure he wears a condom if you ride him or he fucks you.

I like to spend a lot of time making out and fondling with our cloths on, and I do get a kick out of telling a boy to go down on me before fuck him (to get everything nice and loose) but some boys get all weird when you tell them "Its not gonna eat itself."

You'll be fine, just be confident and take some risks. Ironically, I'm telling you to act masculine in order to get some dick.