No.1231[Last 50 Posts]
Why do I have this fetish, /femdom/.
Why can't I be a normal, dominant guy?
Do you ever think about why you have this fetish? Do you ever think about maybe correcting yourself? How hard do you find it to interact with regular women?
No.1233
I can be dominant if I try to tell myself that this is what most women want. I think so long as I do things in the context of trying to please women then I'm happy. It feels like I'm just playing a role, though. I would be infinitely happier being a dominant woman's personal fucktoy, but oh well.
No.1246
I've thought about it quite a bit myself, especially since it wasn't something I really even figured out until going through an unsuccessful "normal" relationship.
Would I have turned out this way no matter what? Certainly I could point to some environmental factors that could have influenced me, such as a controlling, headstrong mother or the time I spent as a young child with her and her friends, also independent and willful women. Maybe instead it was my earliest interactions with girls, all slightly older than me and assertive enough to at least force an equal balance to our dynamic. Then the first girl in whom I had any interest was cheery and energetic, to the degree that she was domineering in her dealings with others. I still have fond memories of allowing myself to fall prey to her whims. However, I think my trajectory had to already have been set by that point.
Would I correct it? Well, on one hand, I'm probably doomed to never find happiness because of my taste in women. On the other, I'd probably have to become an entirely different person to change that. At this point, it's an extension of personality rather than a fetish or something like that. If anything, I wish I had understood it a lot sooner so that I could have done some things differently.
It's difficult to say if it impacts the way I interact with regular women. I have difficulty interacting with people in general. If anything, knowing in advance that I probably have zero interest in them makes it a bit easier to interact with them. At the same time, that could also make it more difficult because it also removes a reason to interact with them, making any dealings with them even more forced than my usual forced dealings with people.
In the end, I agree with
>>1233 about being able to play the role of a normal male. I did something close to that for nearly five years. The relationship fell apart when I realized that doing so wasn't making me happy and she was unable to empathize with my true feelings. Now, I figure there isn't any difference between being unhappy playing the role and being unhappy because dominant females are amongst the rarest of things on this planet.
No.1247
>>1246Just so you know, I have a dominant girlfriend. I am endlessly happy. It is possible, but I damn well know it was purely luck, so I can't give you advice. Be a fun person and show your submissiveness scarcely, I guess?
No.1248
While I'm obviously into femdom, I also like dominating smaller girls, so I guess I win either way.
How many people have fetishes that contradict each other?
No.1249
>>1248My fetish is for fucking and dominating women who I know are capable of dominating other men. I get off to femdom videos thinking of watching a dom beat the shit out of some guy then suck my cock while I tell her what a good job she did over his writhing bruised body.
I get off on being dominant to other dominants. My life is suffering.
No.1250
>>1249But this is okay, we see this with cuckolding and bulls. That's not hard to be. Women are mostly looking to submit to strong men, deep, deep down. Even if they're Dominant.
No.1251
>>1250yeah but I once a woman submits then its less fun for me. And its not as though I want a relationship in which I am the "bull" because I don't want my messing around with some other dude at all. I guess my ideal would be dating and dominating a dominatrix who does no sex with the clients and lets me watch her beat the fuck out of them sometimes.
No.1254
I don't find it harder to interact with women but I never bothered with dating for reasons.
Even then, being into femdom is a curse. It's not a good thing. It restricts the amount of females you'd be able to get in a relationship with to a crazy degree, and forces you in a niche where the (submissive) men outnumber the (dominant) women.
No.1255
>>1254Do you ever feel like maybe expressing that craving through online deals?
I've tried that, largely through places like Collarspace or Fetlife, but it's either Findommes or extremely shady people, and it's always out of my area. The one or two dommes that are in my area aren't really looking for relationships as much as clients, it seems.
No.1256
Does anyone here lift?
>tfw /fit/
>tfw everyone talks about alpha
>tfw you just want to be some girls beta ;_;
No.1257
>>1256I workout constantly, am in-shape, dress well, have a shaved head. If you saw me in the street you'd think I was a total meathead dudebro. Meanwhile deep down inside I just want to be a woman's submissive slave and have her strapon fuck me while I wear stockings and heels and she tells me what a slut I am.
No.1258
>>1257I have this feel too, only I'm not into feminization. I'd rather just have her mistreat me and force me into servitude in some way. I was in a blackmail relationship with this girl in LA for about a month, it was pretty hot, but eventually the mental stress caught up with me and I begged for release, she was nice enough to agree.
No.1260
As a femdom, I'm extremely glad that there are so many males with this fetish. You're the best, and I love you all.
No.1262
>>1255That's my problem too. Even if I went with the findomme option it's very expensive. If it was like 10-20$ a month I might manage. But it's just as, or more expensive than real time sessions. It's also very hard to do a financial transaction without it leading back to you.
I don't want to use a debit/credit card with my name on it for that, because I've seen enough blog posts where vindictive dommes post someones personal info. Nor do I want to use one of my parents cards (I have no job and live with them still) like I do with videogames. Last thing I need is for them to ask questions about shit like that, since they do read their statements. So wtf would I do in that situation?
I can think up maybe a dozen reasons why I got into femdom, all of them being things that happened before or during the onset of puberty. I don't think I was born like this. I began to actively have vague femdom fantasies since I was 8. I never had an interest in vanilla sex. It was only after years that I found out about femdom and it all clicked for me. I'm not one of those people who was normal and then 'gained' a femdom fetish. It sucks to be like this.
No.1263
>>1256I'm pretty tall and narrow but I have a decent set of muscles across my body and I like to look good. I've never had much trouble getting girlfriends but I always end up dominating them.
My last gf seemed to like the idea of being the one in charge but never ever actually followed through with it, she would always agree it sounded it but never actually did anything and I could tell it just wasn't her thing.
all i want is to eat a girl out for hours and give her constant massages and attention but have to ask permission to cum and be used as her sex toy whenever she wants. Is that too much to ask? girls always seem weirded out when I want sex to be all about them.
No.1264
>>1263Oh and I should mention that I do think I was born like this as I remember having fantasies about a girl forcing me to be eaten alive by sharks in front of her when I was in 1st grade (we had a picture book that involved a guy being dangled over a shark tank by some villianess).
I had a happy childhood, no weird abuse or what not and I'm not into guro type stuff now that I'm older. It was definitely based around the being helplessly abused by a woman angle. I remember in 5th grade hearing a story on "this American Life" about a guy who did a performance art type thing where he tried to catch a chicken in some mud while blindfolded. I am unsure if it was part of the story or not but I always imagined him being naked and floundering around in the mud while girls and women pointed and laughed at him falling around in vain.
This was all before ever masturbating and isn't really inline with my sexual fantasies now (I'm not really into public humiliation) but again, there I was fantasizing about being helpless and controlled by a group of women and now the idea cfnm entered into it way before I had any idea that anyone else was like this.
No.1287
when you finally meet a dom girlfriend, all the waiting is totally worth it, and the idea of settling for a sub girlfriend is kinda shite.
>>1256G00d; a sub should make their body perfect for their master
No.1289
>>1264I too have had such cases in my childhood. I remember one instance where I had watched Dexter's Laboratory and it was the episode where he has this dream of being naked in front of a crowd, before being eaten by this big, goopy monster that was laughing. I had a version of this dream in my sleep, only the people that were laughing were girls. I woke to find an emission.
On the playground in the 4th grade, during after school care, there was this one girl I would always do things for. I would always bring her drinks or her backpack if she forgot it inside. Sometimes we would play and she would be some kind of princess. I don't remember what I was.
I remember in 3rd grade girls in the class were always messing around and one day they had done this thing during recess where they picked out "slaves" from the boys. I was completely depressed that I didn't get picked, I was extremely tall and nobody wanted to talk to me because I was new and rumors had gotten out that I liked a girl. I still can't tell if it was just me having that fantasy when I was young or if it was just being left out.
>>1260Please never change ;_;
No.1290
>>1262I'm this guy;
>>1289I think alot of guys here came into puberty being submissive. I wonder what the reason is?
No.1291
>>1290While its impossible to say right now, I personally think the reason might be that humans have more varied reproduction strategies determined biologically than people have previously realized.
There are animals like the midshipman fish that challenge our ideas of gender and reproductive strategy binaries and its not so surprising that a certain portion of the human population might be biased to different preferences biologically as well.
For those who don't know, the midshipman fish has 3 genders which all have combinations of hormone balances, behavior and physical characteristics. There is one female gender but males are divided into "type I" and "type II." The type I males compete to maintain control over a particular area and set of females, they have specially designed organs for making loud noises that neither type II or females can make.
Type II on the other hand… well they look an awful lot like the females but are more reproductively endowed than the type Is. Type IIs are less aggressive to females and in return they are sometimes the ones invited into a nest where they then father a whole batch of eggs that the local alpha I will then assume are his own.
Now I don't mean to say that humans are quite so varied as fish (hell clown fish change gender when they age), but it is absolutely possible that sexual submission in men is a biological strategy which successfully competes with traditional male sexual aggression.
Pic related, another in the long long list of animals that challenges our ideas about "natural" sex.
No.1292
>>1290I remember when i played as a kid with my teddybears, i always would make the female looking ones the bosses. I didn´t know why i did that, it just felt naturally i guess. But i also felt kinda guilty for doing this at the same time.
Also before i went to bed, i spent lots of time imagining female aliens dominating male aliens. Yes, i was a weird child, but with an avid fantasy. I didn´t even masturbate to this, and i had no idea about sex at this point.
No.1293
>>1291I disagree. I think that's 100% bullshit. Your entire post was borderline tumblr.
Trauma, our mind just happening to associate something with arousal and/or that then getting reinforced, and maybe guilt over having aggressive/sadistic tendencies is what I think make men sexually submissive.
I don't think it's a biological strategy at all.
>Pic related, another in the long long list of animals that challenges our ideas about "natural" sex.>putting quotes around naturalWTF is that supposed to mean? All sex is natural unless you're fucking a machine or something.
No.1294
>>1293Honestly, I'm completely unaffected by accusations of tumblr. I said what I think it might possibly because in my case there is no trauma in my past at all. I am not a SJW and don't have a tumblr account or blog or whatever but I have studied a lot of biology and what I have found has lead me to the ideas that I shared. If you have evidence for your view at all then by all means share it.
Natural was in quotes because many people invoke the idea that sex of x or y variety is "natural" or not when in reality the natural world shows a lot diversity when it comes to these things.
No.1295
>>1294should read
>what I think it might possibly be No.1296
>>1293Trauma my fucking ass. I had a completely boring and uneventful childhood, never had any problems with girls, and - since I came of age in the era before the internet became so huge - I was never exposed to any weird porn, either. First time seeing anything sexual was a Playboy.
I have no idea how I developed this fetish. I think it's just a personality type or naturally occurring fantasy that's always been around. Look at old medieval romance stories from hundreds of years ago and it's all about a dude absolutely devoting his life to serving a woman.
No.1297
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>>1296Same here. I really would like to know which traumatic event could spawn such feelings, in his opinion.
>>1293 No.1301
No.1304
>>1294>>1296>Trauma my fucking ass. You looked at trauma, had a kneejerk reaction and didn't read the rest of the post? But eh, I was using some hyperbole in my post. I said it was one of the reasons for why a guy could be sexually submissive. It applies for any fetishes/kinks in general. I know more psychology than biology, so I can only really argue from that perspective.
I don't think anyone really is born with a fetish or kink. We develop them through culture (like how people back then thought a woman showing some ankle was hot) or just events happening early on in childhood or puberty where something made us associate that thing with arousal. And yes, trauma can be one of them. Some of it can also be developing a kind of personality or attitude. When you're a child, some innocuous things can happen to you that manage to leave an impression on your brain. You must know kids are very impressionable. There's a ton of reasons why, but I think this is more based in psychology or sociology than biology.
There has to be *some* faint biological link for humans to be capable of getting something like a fetish, but I think the reason for why we get them–individuals specifically is mostly psychological/sociological.
>>1296>Look at old medieval romance stories from hundreds of years ago and it's all about a dude absolutely devoting his life to serving a woman.I never said this is something new. Chances are, you had one or more events that happened to you
No.1305
>>1304I think wanting to serve and to be submissive to women is a naturally occurring personality type. Then all the other femdom stuff like queening, pegging, humiliation, etc. could probably stem from environmental factors.
No.1306
>>1304Do you have any actual evidence though? I think this might have a mechanism more like hetero vs homosexuality rather than fetishization. Based on my own experience and the varieties found in biology I think its entirely likely that sexual submission is an inherent trait that shows up early in development.
I think the expressions of that trait through associated fetishes are then governed by socialization similar to what
>>1305 said. The actual fetish play is nothing more than an expression of something deeper.
I strongly disagree with your previous post saying that it is associated with "guilt over having aggressive tendencies." I feel no guilt over being aggressive in the rest of my life and certainly didn't as a 5 or 6 yearold when I first remember this beginning to show up in my life.
No.1307
>>1306Yeah, I have no guilt over aggressive or sadistic tendencies because I have none. If anything I sometimes feel guilt over being submissive and wish that I could be more dominant since that's what most women are looking for anyway.
No.1309
>>1305>>1306Well, that´s the old nature vs nurture debate.
No.1310
>>1306I'm not an actual psych major, but I've taken a few psych courses and talked to people in the field. Most of it was just things I heard from college professors or psychologists I talked to.
For femdom specifically? Some theories are that some guys like giving up control because of all the responsibilities placed on themselves. For others, it could be from being neglected from their mother (think this was one reason) or having a very authoritarian mother (or other female figure in their life).
But there's also seemingly insignificant things that can happen during childhood where our brain just ends up associating it with arousal. Like say, I don't know, getting bullied by a girl a few times. It can be so insignificant or happen at such an early age we'd forget about it. If you read some blogs by submissive men, many will talk about a specific event or event(s) that could've been the spark. There's plenty of reasons why someone could end up with a fetish, but ultimately nobody in psychology or biology has fully figured out every bit about the human brain and mind.
It is well known that child sexual abuse can have a wide range of effects on a person's psyche to the point it can cause them to develop legitimate mental disorders when they're an adult. I'm not saying everyone with a fetish was raped or whatever as a kid. Just that for some, it can be one cause of many.
No.1312
>>1310Well yeah nobody has it figured out that's why it was obnoxious to say something was 100% bullshit. Psychology isn't really a respectable science as it is. Especially when it comes to things like this.
I really think its possible that dominance vs submission is closer to heterosexual vs homosexual in that it is determined during early development and it seems to me that the kinks associated are expressions of that.
For instance, watching ballbusting porn gets me rock fucking hard but I don't think I actually have a fetish for getting kicked in the nuts. Rather, what is turning me on is the physical expression of power and dominance through that action.
You can kind of tell the psychological theories are the equivalent of saying "I don't know" when they say that its because guys like giving up responsibilities (would have to stem from a period where they have responsibility), to saying it happens at an early age from some minor act, maybe its that the mother was not involved enough, or maybe its that she was too involved.
None of this is meaningful, testable or even useful. Even with the "spark" idea, there is nothing to suggest that it is that such a small event is what set them on that path. Its entirely possible they already had an innate inclination toward submission and these "sparks" were simply the first times that they were able to remember this inclination manifesting in their life. Its also possible there were just as many "sparks" in our lives for dominance, I definitely enjoyed taking charge of a group of kids as a toddler and I am a leader in everyday life. There is nothing to suggest that by putting stock in these "sparks" we are not simply giving meaning to meaningless events now that we struggle with this post-pubescence.
Of course, this is the old "nature vs. nurture" debate as has been said.
I can say with great certainty that this is not stemming from a weird maternal relationship or child abuse in my case. But as you touched on at the end, this whole thing is complicated by the fact that different people might have this inclination for different reasons.
No.1314
>>1312>Well yeah nobody has it figured out that's why it was obnoxious to say something was 100% bullshit. Excuse me for using some hyperbole on a *chan.
>You can kind of tell the psychological theories are the equivalent of saying "I don't know" when they say that its because guys like giving up responsibilities (would have to stem from a period where they have responsibility), to saying it happens at an early age from some minor act, maybe its that the mother was not involved enough, or maybe its that she was too involved. You're 'giving up responsibility'
just as easily by saying you were born a masochist.
No.1317
No.1319
Submissive Male reporting in. The fetish is bullshit and I always wish I never had it. I'm a good-looking guy who's fit, but I'm so scared of relationships because of it. I feel like I was born with it because I had an uneventful childhood and had the fantasies from a really young age. Who the fuck knows.
No.1321
>>1319Your fetish won´t go away just because you don´t like it. See it positive: You could have been born with a really severe mental disorder. Instead you just like cute, sexy dominant women.
No.1325
>>1319 I know this same feel.
>everybody talks and hits on girls like they're nothing>you can't not do this without being identified as a fag or a beta No.1326
>>1319I wouldn't be scared of relationships. It is possible to have relationships without indulging the fetish in my experience. I always end up masturbating to femdom fantasies/porn/art/stories but I can still have fun sex dominating a girl, I find that if you have an emotional connection to the girl that can get you mentally into it instead of the fetish.
The problem is that if I am in a relationship for a year or so, I get restless and less attracted to even very hot girls. I think that happens partially due to not having this part of my sexuality indulged… but other people often have similar sentiments so it might just be part of normal life. That said, when I do get a hint of this I find it reinvigorates my interest for weeks after even if its not very extreme at all.
The nice thing about dating a submissive, is that I understand what kind of shit submissives get off too and am extremely good at being the dominant one… I just wish it was a turn on. :(
No.1327
>>1326>The nice thing about dating a submissive, is that I understand what kind of shit submissives get off too and am extremely good at being the dominant one… I just wish it was a turn on. :(Haha, yes! This is the one advantage. You get a unique insight into the mind of the average submissive girl. I always just think "what would I want to hear from a fem domme?" and just reverse the genders. I can still get off knowing that in some way I'm still serving and pleasing a woman.
No.1331
I don't know if I necessarily have a femdom fetish, I'm completely turned off by the idea of being fucked in the ass by a girl and I don't want to be beaten badly. With that said I find it amusing to read about girls who truly get off on that shit.
Femdom turns me on because it's really fun to think of girls being more into sex than many are. The handful of girlfriends I've had just weren't much fun in the bedroom, they didn't have any weird fetishes and the idea of doing different positions wasn't a big thing for them. I had the be the one who wanted sex and variety, and such an uneven relationship gets boring.
I want a girl who will just grab my cock without any notice. I want a girl who will bite my lip too hard. want a girl that loves sex as much as I do. A girl who'd be interested in trying some of my other fetishes and has a few of her own.
As I said before I don't want to be a beta to a woman, I want a partner though, a partner who wants to play with me as much as I want to play with her.
No.1338
>>1331this is true for a lot of people. Check out the "gentle femdom" thread. You have to understand the ballbusting stuff is mostly fantasy and not something people want to happen to them so much as an expression of extreme dominance.
Personally, IRL I basically want the same thing but for her to be a little rough with me, finger nails digging into my back and stuff like that.
The cuckolding fetish I do not get at all and pegging does very little for me because its supposed to feel great as a guy and the woman feels very little physically. If I had a gf who got off to it I would try it, but its not a turn on in itself.
No.1341
>>1331>>1338I'm a bit more about this, myself, though I'm a bit deeper down the whips and leather hole. However, there's this special idea that was mentioned: I would submit to a woman who finds me so attractive that she wants to do both nice and painful things to me. I guess it's a womanly point of view, as I often see girls mentioning their rape fantasies and saying they'd like a dominant guy; either way, in this relationship the woman would be so into me that she'd do weird shit to me, and that's just lovely.
Besides, I feel that giving full power to a girl is a way to show her that she has my complete trust and love. Only the best girl has the privilege to use me as her pet.
No.1343
>>1289Oh, don't worry, I won't. >:3
No.1349
>>1341> Only the best girl has the privilege to use me as her pet.100% this, when girls have submitted to me in the past I saw it as a gift of trust and a compliment. I'm a smart successful guy IRL, and if I'm going to share this side of myself with you then it should be viewed as what it is. Something very private and very primal. Its definitely a show of trust that you get to see this side of me at all, and I would never share it with somebody who I didn't consider an equal.
That said, I know there are submissive guys who are different than me. Lord knows I've seen enough guys around the net desperate to be in cuckolding relationships which frankly sounds horrible to me. When I do check out profiles for dommes there's often ones going "you aren't special, you aren't a real man, you are a loser, send me your money pig." I can't always tell for sure how many of them are just playing the role like somebody dressed up in a mascot costume at a sports game and how many of them are the type of "dom" I am really looking for.
No thanks, I'm awesome; I just want you to treat harshly me more in bed and let sex be all about you.
No.1350
>>1343You want to chip in to this thread next time you stop by? Did you have domme fantasies as a kid the same way guys here seemed to have sub fantasies? Do you ever wish you were more of a sub girl?
No judgement, just curious.
No.1351
>>1350I did actually have dom fantasies as a kid, but for some reason it was much harsher stuff than I'm into now. Like, kidnapping guys, locking them in a basement, giving them barely enough food and water to survive, putting 'potion' in what they did eat so that they were constantly horny but keeping their hands tied behind their backs so they couldn't do anything etc.
If you're wondering how I knew about all this at the young age of 6, well, my parents were actually into BDSM and I've walked into some strange scenes. Except my mother was the sub and my father the dom, which I suppose is more typical. But fuck family tradition.
As a kid, I definitely wished I was more 'normal'. But after discovering that there's so many guys online who want to be male subs, I'm very glad that I'm a femdom and would change nothing. I suppose that's true privilege.
No.1354
>>1351if only there would be more like you. many more.
No.1355
>>1354If only more male subs lived in England.
But, in all seriousness, I feel that with the rise in batshit 'feminists', femdom is going to come into fashion very soon. So maybe one day you shall all be dominated.
No.1357
>>1355How did you get into your first femdom relationship? Did you have to explain your desires to a partner that was new to this or did you find an already willing submissive person? Because from what i can see, it is usually the other way around, with the man having to explain / convince the lady to try femdom. Is it really that hard to find a male sub in a country such as the UK? really?
Regarding feminists, i am curious how they perceive the notion of femdom, since it is usually a male fantasy. While i have no doubt that they want to "dominate" the man in society/work/etc, i don't know what is their opinion on things usually associated with femdom/bdsm (leather, latex, foot fetish, bondage, tpe and others). It might be true that us males might end up dominated, but i somehow doubt that it will be in the way most of us fantasize about. This shift of power in the household is already manifesting itself where i live. I know several examples of upper-middle class families in which the female makes most of the money and is in control of finances. This, however, is not reflected in the other balances of power in the household. Also, there are many highly specialized fields that are increasingly "dominated" by women. I finished architecture school, a traditionally male dominated profession, and about 2/3 of the students were female.
I somehow believe that there is an untapped potential for femdom in the mainstream. There are many women wishing a more attentive man, both in bed and around the house, and there are a lot of men dreaming of being dominated. Somehow, sadly, things don't add up although it would be beneficial for both parties if they did. Probably the future will solve this to some extent. The media could help, until now femdom has only been a fringe subject.
I might be only speaking for myself here, but i'd have no objection to today's feminist movement if their idea of dominating the male would be more bdsm-inclined. I'm all for equal pay, but a collar and leash would sure make the debate far more interesting.
No.1358
>>1357I've been in and left my first femdom relationship quite recently (he didn't like cuddles, I couldn't handle it D:). I met them on a 4chan /soc/ fetish thread, so he knew I was a femdom right from the start, which I usually find is the better way of doing things, rather than trying to convince a vanilla partner.
Yeah, men trying to convince their partners to indulge in their fetishes rarely works out, imo. Just be open and honest from the start. If they freak out, obviously they're not right for you.
I'd say it's easy to find a male sub but not so easy to find a male sub who wants to be in a relationship, which is what I want. Most guys here seem to just want nudes or one night stands. Not to mention I make it more difficult for myself because I want to have a normal relationship of equality outside of the bedroom, while most male subs in the UK that do want a relationship want a 24/7 dom/sub relationship, which is exhausting and frustrating.
Well, feminists do hate 'slutshaming' and hatred towards minorities and people who try to suppress female sexuality. So it makes sense to me that they'd be supportive of it. I've also seen a lot of Tumblr blogs full of black and white femdom gifs, which only supports my opinion.
True, I'm doing a Law degree, which is traditionally a male-orientated subject, yet 2/3 are female. So, yes, I'd say it's happening.
That's exactly how I feel. I also feel that society conditions people and that, with the rise of female worship in society, mainstream femdom isn't far away, so soon everyone shall be happy. :3
Haha! The feminists should keep that in mind. It would certainly be most effective.
No.1359
>>1358re: the feminism thing
It seems to me that they don't exactly know what to make of it. That's true for feminism and porn in general, some are "sex positive" and think women deserve to express their sexuality however, others see it as the worst thing ever and throw the word rape at it nonstop. With femdom, I think they either a) see it as an evil male fantasy that is a more insidious way to subjugate females b) see it as a terrible thing that they don't want people to associate feminism with because it will make people think they are going for female supremacy c) see it as empowering and glorious expression of female sexuality d) are on SJW side and have what ever crazy opinion they happened to read on a blog last.
No.1360
>>1359Oh and I think that it is silly to put too much politics into your sex at all because it is a private event.
No.1361
>>1358>Most guys here seem to just want nudes or one night stands.I think that's just men on average in general. Personally, I would be down to meet somebody over a chan but I would be way more cautious than meeting them a more traditional way.
All I want is a qt dom gf for me to worship each night and take on the world together with during the day. I'm trying to stay positive and check out fetlife, a lot of online doms are looking for something just as shallow as guys only wanting dudes… they only want free money. Its disappointing. Anyway, I'm continuing to pursue vanilla dating options but god dear god I want a dom for once.
I'm in Boston though… No.1365
>>1358hnnnng these freakin' posts, man. You're literally everything I've ever wanted out of a woman. Seeking long term relationship, normal outside the bedroom, gentle femdom and light humiliation inside the bedroom, lots of cuddling. Why wasn't I born in the UK? Fuck. I'll never find true happiness.
No.1369
>>1358Oh hey you are the girl from the other thread. Too bad you are from UK.
No.1371
Usually it's pretty easy for me to look at things (especially this) in a 'psychologist' kind of perspective and see why I am how I am!
The first thing to realize about fetish/kink stuff is that they usually come from 2 things:
1) societal taboos. I.e rape/BDSM stuff, one of the most common. Rape is SO frowned upon and illegal and taboo, that it has this 'attraction' to it. People love what they can't have. Something being forbidden just makes it all the more attractive to them. This is always why I laugh at people who hate on 'fags' and dumb shit like that. There's an obvious progression in America of people having this informed opinion on it, where it's practically non-existent. Nobody thought anything of it, up until AIDS started becoming a thing. Then you have this massive progression of the 'fag' hate and oppression. Everybody is so afraid of being labeled gay, that the real gays don't come out as gay, and it starts to become taboo. Finally there are so many oppressed that they start to come out and say fuck it, and there are all these high school jocks who find it so taboo that it turns them on and they think they're bi, when really its just a kink. Created by the same idiots trying to get rid of homosexuals by oppressing them.
2) the classic therapist crap, your childhood. Fucked up stuff as a child, or just in general how you were raised, drastically affects you. Being in an accident as an 8 year old and seeing someone die will screw you up for life. So this one is kind of up to you to know your own childhood and think about it.
For me, I'm turned on to being a sub (following these ideas) because of both!
As a kid I was practically raised by my grandparents, my parents both worked long hours and weren't really around most of the time, and even as I got older it just meant I had to take care of shit myself a lot. I never had a controlling figure in my life. My parents trusted me a ton (not that they had any reason NOT to trust me - I started working jobs for neighbors at 13 and have been employed since 15, bought my own first car etc) and were rarely around so it was just do whatever, if you screw up its your problem. So having the controlling person is kind of making up for that.
And then the taboo part, is just me being a control freak. I like to do everything my way and tend to end up in leadership positions just because I take over and get things done. Not necessarily a bad thing, I usually know what I'm doing, it's just how I am. So losing control and being at the mercy of someone else, having them make me do ANYTHING they want any WAY they want is just sexy as fuck because it's taboo.
And there's my self-reflection for the day. Now if only I could find an actual woman who gives a shit and can help me with that, while having a regular relationship outside of the bedroom (because being honest it's just a kink - I don't want a lifestyle based on it).
So there you go OP, your turn.
No.1378
>>1359>>1360Well, I do have to agree that there are many mixed opinions among feminists about femdom, but I still feel that c) is the most common one from what I've come across and may even increase.
But, yes, as silly as it is to involve politics in sex, the UK has been guilty of it in recent cases (e.g. banning things like facesitting and female ejaculation in porn made in the UK, reaching judgments in cases where people can be liable for harming someone in a sexual environment despite consent as seen in Brown (1993) etc). So as much as I like to think that femdom will come more into the public light, it would appear that the government doesn't, which is worrying.
>>1361Oh, I would also be more cautious, but not overly so.
>>1361>>1365>>1369Urgh, once again, all the good ones live in America! This is starting to get ridiculous; if this carries on, I might have to consider moving. But I love England so much.
No.1379
>>1359>>1360Well, I do have to agree that there are many mixed opinions among feminists about femdom, but I still feel that c) is the most common one from what I've come across and may even increase.
But, yes, as silly as it is to involve politics in sex, the UK has been guilty of it in recent cases (e.g. banning things like facesitting and female ejaculation in porn made in the UK, reaching judgments in cases where people can be liable for harming someone in a sexual environment despite consent as seen in Brown (1993) etc). So as much as I like to think that femdom will come more into the public light, it would appear that the government doesn't, which is worrying.
>>1361>>1365>>1369Urgh, once again, all the good ones live in America! This is starting to get ridiculous; if this carries on, I might have to consider moving. But I love England so much.
No.1380
>>1378>>1379Sorry about the double post, damn Internet.
No.1395
>>1331You don't have a femdom fetish, really. You're not submissive/masochistic.
You just want women who aren't doormats in sex. That's understandable.
No.1401
>>1395idk anon, i think its borderline. I mostly want what they are saying when it comes to actual sex but more extreme femdom gets me off when masturbating.
No.1420
>>1358>soon the whole world will be a gynarchy~~>i just want a a subby boy who wants a relationship too!B-based Englishwoman. ;-; Why are there so many British dommes?
No.1425
>>1378I think it's going to take a few decades for that to happen at the least, in which case it won't matter as much since we'd all be in our 40s-60s.
BDSM doesn't have a movement like what homosexuals did to make their sexuality accepted and even appear in mainstream media. That's because we never really had less rights than homosexuals since we could still adopt, marry and appear normal on the surface by having a wife/husband.
No.1426
It doesn't need to be BDSM that gets more mainstream - just female-dominated relationships. Which is already kind of happening with the recession forcing some husbands out of work while the wife still has her job.
No.1427
>>1420I know! Some of my best friends are dommes but I've never seen an American domme online. Is it something in the tea?
No.1430
>>1427British culture is less strict about having REAL MEN WITH BEER AND GUNS WHO FUCK GIRLS IN THE ASS than American culture.
It think there's a similar prevalence of doms but they are less "out" about it.
No.1431
>>1430I think this is true as well. Maybe domination is seen as more sophesticated while here it might be seen as a synonym for cuckolding or being gay.
Come to think of it, I can't find a public space where Femdom is discussed and the slogan GAY PRIDE not lingering nearby. That might just be because I live in NorCal and there's fucking nobody interested in Femdom outside of SF though.
God this place is a shithole.
No.1434
>>1431East coast here: the only time it is ever mentioned is in TV shows where they are trying to be edgy. I haven't met any dominant girls that have been open about it (though I have definitely gotten those vibes from a few) and I've only met one sub guy who was very "out." While I was in college there was a couple people who founded a "kink" based club so my gf and I went to check out one of the speakers they brought in…
The whole thing was fucking disgusting. It was just this fat nerd talking about being "polyamerous" and how he had 2 boyfriends and girlfriend. Nothing was BDSM related at all, it was just him talking about fucking Lord of the Rings and rambling on while occasionally talking about wanting to fuck way younger women and saying how creepy dominant guys are. Everyone there seemed to be eating it up. We ended up getting frustrated and leaving and the social retard giving the "talk" actually commented on how he must be scaring us away, I shook my head and left.
So yeah, I went to a "kink" club and it wasn't even mentioned there. I had another friend who went to a few more meetings and it turns out one of the girls just liked cuckolding her bf and the rest were all "polyamerous" and basically just coming up with weird labels to have hook ups not dependent on party culture.
No.1436
>>1431Every sexual minority in America aligns with the gays because muh LGBTQ2SWTFBBQ, the rabid anti-sexual religious fuckery in America just drives every abnormal person into defensive mode. Tragic really.
No.1437
>>1314
>mfw anyone who makes conjecture based on science is a tumblrtard No.1438
>>1426That won't necessarily lead to femdom being okay. Having a couple where the guy still makes money does not lead to kinkier outlooks sexuality.
>>1437>mfw you can't read No.1441
>>1434Yfw this is the reality of BDSM as a scene.
No.1463
>>1248Definitely. I love being dominant with my gf, but also have a fantasy about being the submissive one from time to time. I think the fantasy of being submissive is attractive because it's opposite of the norm. Instead of being in charge, you give up all the power and control to another person for a while.
>>1430But I love muh beer and guns. You can be a "real man" and still be a sub in the bedroom. Just because you like a dominant sexual partner doesn't mean you have to be submissive in everything you do.
No.1468
>>1441yeah, I kind of figured that out. Its something I like to call "The Doctor Who Effect." Doctor Who is a slightly weird show, that wide variety of people enjoy in many countries even if its not quite "mainstream." But, the people you will meet if you go to a meet up or join a club or something to talk about it? These are complete social retards almost entirely dependent on this one interest to define their personality and they might not even be the main audience. The fact that they are the main group that shows up to these things keeps a lot of people who would be interested away and gives the community a reputation as a bunch of weird fucks.
No.1487
>>1358femdom in the bedroom, equality outside of it and cuddles?
Fuck, sign me up for that.
No.1489
>>1434Midwesternfag here.
You have a LOT of women who just use it as an act for money/favors/etc. Think Sugar daddy with 100% being treated like a cucked POS.
There are good ones, but they are WAY fewer and more far between. Also, the stable ones tend to partner up pretty fast and tend to not have to look anyway.
Related tip: If you get enough into the scene, you learn to WATCH people BEFORE persuing relationships with them. If that FemDom has a different guy every week, every event, without much/any repetition, that's your first sign that she doesn't treat her toys well. No, not ALWAYS. But if you don't know enough to know the other signs, that's the best way to tell till you know.
And, again, these are guidelines, not flat-out-rules. I knew gals who would, depending on their partner, do anything from just treating their partner like a 'sissy' to flat out cucking with random guys and calling them right after the act. Yes, it was, in fact, consensual. No, not my cup of tea.
No.1490
>>1489>I knew gals who would, depending on their partner, do anything from just treating their partner like a 'sissy' to flat out cucking with random guys and calling them right after the act. Yes, it was, in fact, consensual. No, not my cup of tea.I'd lose my fucking shit
No.1493
>>1489>I knew gals who would, depending on their partner, do anything from just treating their partner like a 'sissy' to flat out cucking with random guys and calling them right after the act. Yes, it was, in fact, consensual. No, not my cup of tea.i want to commit suicide
No.1500
>>1231
>Do you ever think about why you have this fetish?Sure, but it almost feels counterproductive since I have to devote a lot of energy and mental effort towards this without getting introspective.
>Do you ever think about maybe correcting yourself?Nah man, it's like any other sexual thing. Once you know you have it, you can't get rid of it. Why contain it?
>How hard do you find it to interact with regular women?It's not hard at all, you just have to treat them the same way you'd treat a guy, only with more regard to politeness and humor.
Remember, practice makes perfect. Find a woman who obviously needs a friend, and just talk with her for a while. She'll be open to companionship, so just keep things casual and platonic. When you're ready, move on to women who are more socially active, then to ones with large groups of friends. They'll get progressively more difficult to engage with conversationally, but it's like lifting weights – the harder you work, the better your gains.
If you're looking for love, I can't help ya there, because I always strike out before we get to talking about the bedroom, but establishing a few female friends will put you in a better place than you are now.
My hope goes out to ya.
>>1431
>Maybe domination is seen as more sophesticated while here it might be seen as a synonym for cuckolding or being gay.Pretty much this. I don't know a single person who (openly) thinks that a woman should, for any reason, take the lead in a relationship, except for a few social retards. See
>>1468 for more information.
That said, I live in a pretty upper-middle-class, conservative suburban area, so there's a lot of emphasis on "muh breadwinner" and kids grow up thinking like products of the 1950's, but still, I figure there'd be someone. Even our LGBTBBQ clubs don't recognize BDSM as defensible or legitimate, because it doesn't fit in with the whole Pleasantville theme. Feels bad man.
No.1509
You guys are so pathetic you make me wet at the thought of seeing your dick and balls between my toes as I loom over your panting faces.
No.1521
>>1509Don't tell me you'd put your other foot on our face to balance your weight! Anything but that!
No.1536
I'm new here /.\
No.1538
>>1509S-stop! ;_;
>>1500
>That said, I live in a pretty upper-middle-class, conservative suburban area, so there's a lot of emphasis on "muh breadwinner" and kids grow up thinking like products of the 1950's, but still, I figure there'd be someone. Even our LGBTBBQ clubs don't recognize BDSM as defensible or legitimate, because it doesn't fit in with the whole Pleasantville theme. Feels bad man.i have the same feeling here, only with more MUH COUNTRY LIVIN' than pleasantville
i figure that there's probably people who are really into this, but i dont think they're into talking on the internet.
there's probably some dommes out there that don't ever even want because of how many submissive men there are ;;_;;
No.1543
Jeez, femdom is really for the most Freudian minds only..
No.1544
>>1538
>there's probably some dommes out there that don't ever even want because of how many submissive men there areMan, all I want is to be married to a woman who likes being in control, but it seems hard to find a domme looking for monogamy, especially with the rise of "polyamory" and cucking.
I'm fine being a breadwinner, or a househusband, or even both of us working, so long as when we're together at home, she ties me to the bed or puts me on a leash, and I feel secure in the knowledge that I'm the only one she does that to.
Well, new year, new possibilities. Hopefully I'll meet someone when college starts.
>>1509You wanna go grab coffee sometime?
No.1545
>>1250>Women are mostly looking to submit to strong men, deep, deep down. Even if they're Dominant.Which is why pretty much anyone who is into femdom is a cuckold, deep down. even if they feel disgusted by it. It's kind of like homophobes who end up being gay
No.1551
>>1545Submissive men aren't 100% submissive either. In their nature, they want to dominate, just as much as a woman wants to submit. You have to be either castrated or brainwashed completely to not be okay with having vanilla sex with a partner you know and really enjoy the company of, and we see this latter happening alot with porn.
Ultimately, if a man wants to be a woman's slave, he will have to acknowledge that she should have a completely sovereign sexual desire, while the slave's is bound to hers. This doesn't always result in cuckolding, as explained above, and it largely depends on simply what the woman wants to do.
It also certainly doesn't apply to the men who are simply 'submissive' rather than wanting to live a lifestyle of slavery under a woman.
No.1563
File: 1420224972554.jpg (38.99 KB, 500x366, 250:183, tumblr_myjdin3r1T1qja36qo1….jpg)
>>1551I´m sorry to break your little "scientific" theory, but i´m 100% sure, that i have no dominant side, or an urge to dominate women at all.
No.1564
>>1563Dem feels. There's probably a part of me buried deep down that wants to be submissive because I have a vagina and biology hates me, but I have yet to discover it. In fact, whenever anyone has brought up the idea of dominating me, I feel scared rather than protected. I don't know why.
No.1565
>>1545>>1551I like femdom because I like sexually aggressive women who like to take charge. I also like feeling desired by women.
Cuckolding is some next level sadistic shit and holds about as much appeal to me as having my balls pierced by stilettos. idk what the heck you're going on about, mate.
No.1568
>>1463>But I love muh beer and guns. You can be a "real man" and still be a sub in the bedroom. Just because you like a dominant sexual partner doesn't mean you have to be submissive in everything you do.I completely agree I just mean British culture as a whole is less intense about gender roles. I know a decent number of people here in America that are categorically opposed to a female president where as the UK has female monarchs and female prime ministers. I don't think sexual dominance/submission really implies anything about roles or personality outside the bedroom but I think this is a factor is how many people are open about liking this.
No.1569
>>1563i didnt claim it was scientific, stop being a twat
No.1626
>>1568Not to be a dick, but if that's actually true, what exactly are you guys doing "banning" the production of traditionally femdom oriented pornography?
- female ejaculation (female pleasure)
- facesitting (typically female on male)
- watersports (typically female on male)
- rape (typically females who fantasize about being raped)
I forget what else was on the list, but I was surprised to see that almost every type of porn on that list was an activity females would either fantasize about or be in a greater position of power while doing.
This seems inconsistent with your sentiment. Not that you have to justify your position or anything, I'm just a confused outsider wondering what in the actual fuck your politicians have been smoking.
B
No.1628
>>1626I'm not actually from the across the pond but most of my family is and I spent a lot of time in both US and UK growing up.
That whole thing is a bit misrepresented, those restrictions were in place from ages ago on VHS and DVD pornography. The recent uproar is about the fact that they made all the porn regulations the same. British society is generally more restrictive as well, its just about sex in general (as well as inflammatory remarks and things of that nature). But yes that is bullshit and whenever those restrictions were actually put in place, they clearly reflect a repression of female sexuality.
UK=less sexualized in general and less focused on gender roles; more legally restrictive
US=very sexualized and focused on gender roles; but more culturally restrictive
No.1639
>>1628Man thank you for stating it so clearly. Your sense of perspective is great.
Nonetheless, when I try to arrange these ideas objectively in my head, I'm still confused.
Reason being:
- A culture less sexualized overall and less focused on gender roles = more progressive
- Laws restricting female sexuality = less progressive
So my confusion now lies in the question of why, in the case of both the US and the UK, are the laws and the culture so out of sync?
One would think that, at least in the UK, the 'solution' would be more females taking on positions of power and authority and undoing these restrictions on their freedom of expression. Perhaps this will be the eventual result of these laws?
The US is just as confusing, of course. It's more difficult in my mind to imagine how a cultural shift might take place, giving both genders more cultural freedom.
No.1640
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>1639 I think it is difficult to label things clearly as "more/less progressive" because "progressive" is fairly ill defined on a global scale and means more that things are changing for that place locally.
Its difficult for me to speak about cause and effect for the UK but, you have to remember that historically the UK is reacting to a past of sexual repression and used to have very rigid (relative to the US), class and power structures. These power structures enabled women to rule based on blood and normalized the idea of a strong female leader. However, female leaders can be just as repressive to sexuality as males and I don't think that lead to a big push. I'm really not sure about this though, my impression is that the conservatives there seem to be very reactionary and are sort of scrambling to lock down societal change legally while most of society just doesn't really care that much.
I think that I can give a more coherent perspective on the US. It seems to me, that the reasons for many many trends in the US boil down to two of its largest forces, capitalism and religion. Now, capitalistic forces are behind much of the general sexualization simply because sex sells. As a rule, religious forces fight against this sexualization but specifically about FEMALE sexuality. To figure out why that is, you'd have to look back over the history of the bible and how/why it was written. However, there is one point where the religious fundamentalism and the capitalism overlaps: gender roles. You see, companies have realized something… traditional gender roles can be immensely profitable. If you instill certain ideal images of men and women into people, you can use that to sell to them. Its not about "patriarchy" or "oppression," it is about profit. By playing into over-all predispositions of biological genders, they are now able to sell not just soap but
MANLY FUCKING SOAP THAT LETS YOU FUCK EVERY WOMAN +
sensual but classy soap that relaxes your perfect sexy body and all attractive women would use even though they are 99% the same thing as the cheaper fucking soap sitting on the shelf below them. So you have large potions of the population getting messages like, 1 Timothy 2:9 which says,
"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."
And is praised as the word of an all knowing being and drilled in weekly from a young age. Followed by evil sexual commercials that also have a tendency to emphasize female submission for the rest of the week.
Now obviously, this does not cover the whole population but it is a very significant portion and is considered the default view of the culture. It is in reaction to these forces that you get the absolute fucking insanity of the SJWs.
Another point where capitalism and religion intersect is the desire to keep the government in check. Corporations wish to operate with minimal oversight and simply use the government as a tool when possible. The religious wish to increase the power of the Church and generally legislate their specific ideas but have a tendency to also consider the gov as a whole to be an evil "worldly" threat.
Anyway, that's my take on this stuff. I'm not an expert, just what I've seen.
No.1641
I love strong women, so I like femdom. Why the shit would I want someone who doesn't want to lead at least sometimes? I'll gladly take charge (and do normally) but fuck me if I'll actually stick around with anyone who can't at least challenge me.
No.1648
I think my fettish comes from being raised by a single mother. Since there wasn't a male figure in the house I just became used to a girl in charge. I never even stared to think about it sexually until I started having sex, it was weird I just felt like the girl should be the dominant one.
No.1682
I'd much prefer to not have this fetish given how few dominant females there are, and I'd be too insecure to ask a partner to try it. I'd much prefer to be dominant in every other aspect of the relationship, only being submissive within the confines of the bedroom. I just kind of have to force myself to be dominant even if I derive little enjoyment from it.
No.1691
I find the whole conversation of women "needing to be dominated" by men "deep down" almost funny. As someone who HAS had trauma in her life, and who is now a solid switch in a married relationship, but who is also non-monogamous and whose partner is also bi and a switch, I can tell you for a fact that my trauma DOES affect me. But it isn't the reason I like to Domme or sub. In fact, it often gets in the way of both things. Trauma can both create and destroy you. It's really complicated stuff, psychologically.
The reason I enjoy Domme-ing – and yes, I think that nasty vicious Domme thing is gross, I also agree with gentle FemDom – is purely because to me, it's a turn-on to wind up my partner. I think putting someone else in a position of no power, in which I am in control of their pleasure, and in which I can allow them to completely let go, is very sexy. There's something very satisfying about it. But that does not work with "mousy" guys, or the type that people keep calling "betas". I don't do whiny subs. I don't do wishy washy males. The only men I'm interested in Domme-ing are the ones who will turn around, grab me by the hair and have me on the kitchen floor. The point is, masculinity is the draw.
Basically, the enjoyable component is being able to take someone strong and proud and wrap them around your finger and push them to breaking purely from pleasure. It's not mean. It's a tease. It's proving that you are equal partners on a very unique level. But that's no fun if you snap like a twig just from me looking at you.
And vice versa…as a sub, I need someone strong, confident, who is able to allow me to be momentarily insecure about myself and who can be confident in focusing on me alone for that period of time.
True Dominance like that requires selflessness, which is NOT what you see in a lot of those icky ball-crusher femdom vids.
I suppose my point is, I don't NEED to be dominated by anyone. But I find it helpful. It's nice to let go now and then. I'm more sub than Domme, but if you told me I couldn't Domme anymore…well I'd be fucking sad. Because I enjoy it just as much.
No.1692
>>1691>Basically, the enjoyable component is being able to take someone strong and proud and wrap them around your finger and push them to breaking purely from pleasure. It's not mean. It's a tease. It's proving that you are equal partners on a very unique level. But that's no fun if you snap like a twig just from me looking at you. This is exactly what I want from a woman. I get off to pretty extreme submission fantasies sometimes in private, always end up dominating real girls during sex, have often been described as intimidating in real life, what I want is what you describe but with the girl being slightly more an the dom side than you are.
Submission is a fucking gift, I have no interest in someone who would look down on me for it. However, I think from an outside perspective if someone looked at the porn and things I have watched they might get that impression. I think that because femdom porn is generally produced to cater to men, it ends up expressing more extreme sexual fantasies that we use to get off when our only stimulus is visual. I think this is actually harmful to us IRL because people see videos of guys getting their balls crushed and think that guys like me want that because we watch those videos.
Really though, what I want is a girl who is willing to be dominant and in charge during sex, not someone who is going to make me feel like I want to throw up by punching me in the genitals. The attraction of those videos is that this is a cartoonish way of expressing a dominant attitude which gets my dick hard.
You see this sort of thing showing up with mainstream porn as well, 90% of the time they show a guy eating a girl out or something of that nature it isn't about what would actually feel good for the girl but about showing the viewer LOOK LOOK HE IS TOUCHING THE AREA WHERE HER CLIT IS WITH HIS TONGUE AND SHE IS MOANING AND LOVING IT. Its about communicating the idea more than anything.
No.1705
>>1691Could you honestly say that you could live without ever getting dommed by a masculine male, ever, though?
No.1712
The idea that women are submissive and men are dominant is a myth that too many people buy in to, even though their real life experiences probably don't align with that way of thinking. Neither sex is inherently dominant nor submissive to the other. Don't confuse dominance with the fact that men are physically stronger than women, because it's nothing to do with he physical, it's all psychological.
My girl is dominant but not super conformable with anything kinky, though she can sometimes prefer to be submissive. In fact, that is incredibly common in western society. In your average western relationship, the woman controls the frequency and type of sex. That is dominance, though it may not be kinky. It's not inherent though, and the dynamic has changed in both directions over history.
I recommend that people stop treating their desire to be dominated as a fetish. It isn't. Come to the understanding that you can be both dominant and submissive, and it's a choice you're making, not some perversion you can't help.
It's no different than preferring Pepsi to Coke, then changing your mind one day. Or flip-flopping between McDonalds and Burger King.
No.1713
>>1712You clearly have no idea what it is like to have a submission or domination fetish.
No.1714
>>1712One of the most common fetishes women have is to be dominated, you're wrong.
No.1715
>>1712>>1712>I recommend that people stop treating their desire to be dominated as a fetish. It isn't. Come to the understanding that you can be both dominant and submissive, and it's a choice you're making, not some perversion you can't help.
>not feeling a girl get instantly wet while calling you master and being called slut, whore, bitch, etc.
>not knowing what its like to get instantly hard at the idea of being physically abused by a woman and unable to shake this desire since elementary school
>not struggling to only masturbate or fantasize about "vanilla" porn only to relapse and spend and entire saturday cumming to a story of a woman ballbusting a man before masturbating him with icey hot
>not understanding how fetishes work>giving recommendations>conflating sexual dominance with normal relationship power dynamics>implying there is a detailed history of femdom fetishism kept for a significant length of time in the past or even now No.1716
>>1714Its like this anon doesn't even know how common rape fantasies are.
No.1718
>>1231Personally, I'm a sub by nature, and a switch by necessity - after all, I love my Mistress, and I want her to be happy and feel good, and I know how much I love to submit to her, and I know how much she loves to submit at times, and I know what subs like her like, and I get off on serving her, so… yeah. It's pretty great really.
No.1719
>>1314>You're 'giving up responsibility' just as easily by saying you were born a masochist.
how is this an argument?
No.1720
>>1231I have a mighty need for the source on this.
No.1721
>>1326>The nice thing about dating a submissive, is that I understand what kind of shit submissives get off too and am extremely good at being the dominant one… I just wish it was a turn on. :(It is if you're in love with the person you're doing it for. It might not scratch the itch itself, but it can still satisfy in other ways
and makes for a lead in to conversations about how you feel about it and to see if your partner can't do the same for you No.1723
>>1358>(he didn't like cuddles, I couldn't handle it D:)>Not wanting to be cuddled by your MistressWhat the fuck is wrong with some people?
No.1724
>>1721>>1721>It is if you're in love with the person you're doing it for.Fuck off. I know it can be emotionally satisfying if I am in love with the girl the issue is that it doesn't have a mainline to my dick in the same way. Also, I have brought the subject up with girls that I've been in long relationships with but they just aren't that interested or say they will do it some point and then never follow through. Then its difficult to bring up again without it seeming like I am guilting them which is the opposite of sexy, no one wants to be guilted into doing things during sex. Eventually, I lose interest. It happens everytime, that doesn't mean that I immediately stop loving them or anything but I hit a point where I stop being that interested in them sexually because my fantasies are not indluged at all. Then they freak out because it makes them feel insecure and I get guilted into bad sex where I can barely stay hard even with extremely extremely attractive girls.
I fucking hate having this fetish.
No.1725
>>1724Fair enough, like I said, it doesn't scratch the femdom itch, just sexual pleasure as a whole. If they weren't interested in at least trying to put in the effort to indulge you, there's probably deeper problems going on.
No.1726
>>1725yeah problems like them being sexually submissive and me not going around telling girls that I really am even though towards the start of the relationship. If I am upfront about it, it shuts things down early and if I play the role of dominant (which I enjoy, just not sexually) then they get used to that and are expecting me to be their Master for the rest of the time. I'm the one who wasn't upfront in these situations because I would rather date a girl I like than indulge my fetish sometimes, so the problems from that are my fault. There's no reason I should expect them to indulge me in this when part of the reason they started dating me was what a good Dom I am.
Sometimes, I'll convince myself this is a fine fetish to have and really not a big deal but IRL it always ends up fucking me over.
No.1727
>>1726sorry for grammar, posting from phone.
No.1731
>>1648By similar logic, being raised by a single mom could turn you into a dom because you want to take charge and rebel against her.
Looking for childhood origins is very Freudian and probably meaningless as discussed here
>>1312 No.1829
No.1885
Domme reporting in.
I don't know why.
Probably genetics.
No.1888
I'm pretty sure for me it's because it's guilt free sex. Being forced perform sex acts means I take no responsibility.
However, I also like being dom so it's probably not just that. Maybe I'm just kinky, in which case I blame porn.
No.1899
>>1885when do you think it started showing up for you?
No.1901
>>1899I've always felt like being sexually dominant, even as a little kid. (10, 11yrs old). I just wasn't sure how to express myself until I was 19. (When I stopped being a virgin.)
No.1902
i kind of unintentionally turned myself into a switch by watching lebian femdom, now i like submissive girls too (still not as much as dommes though). maybe that was always a part of me though i dunno
No.1907
>>1231-Do you ever think about why you have this fetish?
In my opinion, it's about the mind balancing things out.
People are naturally either more dominant or submissive in all kinds of situations.
When someone who likes to be in control has to obey other people (school, work), their balance is disrupted and it might propagate through being the dominant one in sex. Same applies were the situation reversed.
Now the extremes.
>>1358"most male subs in the UK that do want a relationship want a 24/7 dom/sub relationship, which is exhausting and frustrating."
Not that it couldn't work for some people, but in my opinion, this mostly suggests something is wrong in some other part of a person's life and they seek extreme forms of compensation.
Of course, then there are people who would never admit to themselves or others they like this shit or people whose "imbalance" doesn't propagate in this manner.
-Do you ever think about maybe correcting yourself?
Nope.
-How hard do you find it to interact with regular women?
Not hard at all, since this doesn't go outside of the bedroom for me.
No.1909
As the OP, I can honestly tell you that I have had this since around 13 years old. My first memories of ever having thoughts of women sexually also coincide with the first time I ever thought of a woman as being dominant towards me. It is an extremely difficult time for me to remember, but what I do remember is having a very vivid, almost primal urge to submit to women and to be dominated by women.
I was thinking about this at work today and that urge has just never left me. I don't know how to explain otherwise. I try to enter into vanilla situations with other women but it either doesn't work out because we never get to the sex and there's another factor involved (this one girl I was almost falling in love with had to move for school) while others have been more due to disagreements before sex has even entered the picture. It's worth noting I don't enter into these relationships often. Most don't go past a few dates.
So a few nights ago I decided to meet a prodomme off of a site called Collarspace in my area. It turned out to be really…exciting, is the only word I can use. I've never orally talked about my fetishes with another woman I know who is dominant, and there we did it in public, at a a bar, in a public setting.
I'm in a consistently more comfortable mood with the fetish now. I don't really know what causes it, but I think there was alot to do with early development, certainly. I think maybe I just saw more dominant women around than dominant men. Most men in my family were workers and the women stayed home and were the matriarch of the children and the house while they were away, but that's just conjecture.
It'd be interesting to see if there any studies about this floating around.
No.1912
>>1907this is a theory I've seen/heard before but I don't think its the case. Normally, I like to be in charge and run things in everyday life but there was a period in my life where I was unemployed for a while and not able to do that at all. This had no effect on my sexual fantasies. So if it wasn't for that I seem to fit the idea of it being about balance, but I don't think it holds up to experimentation.
I think this a separate thing that can be set pretty early in your development.
The one thing that DOES affect my sexual fantasies is that when I am dating someone my fantasy shifts to specifically serving/pleasing/worshiping them in the bed room and if I am dating a sub my desire to please them can manifest as dominance for at least 2-3 months.
Eventually, I end up relapsing and asking them to try dominating me too.
No.1913
>>1909
>It'd be interesting to see if there any studies about this floating around.completely agree, but its not studied that much because everyone involved in sex research is busy with things that are either more widespread like standard "vanilla" sex or things that can have big societal influences like homosexuality or rape studies. At least that's the impression I get, some of them are still trying to wrap their heads around BDSM in general. Here's one that found that BDSM doesn't correlate with mental illness overall.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23679066We just want slightly different sex dammit!
No.1916
tfw most real doms are overweight 40-year-old smokers with voices like gravel
No.1917
>>1916nah, but most single doms. If you are hot and dominant you have no trouble finding an equally hot sub and don't hang around on the internet as much No.1922
>> 1361
>All I want is a qt dom gf for me to worship each night and take on the world together with during the day.
It sounds so beautiful ;___;
No.1926
>>1922it would be heaven.
No.2075
>>1902I should start doing this.
No.2077
>>1231I come here for the lezdom.
>normal I've been equated to a rapist. Your fetish is much more mainstream.
No.2078
>>2077If you're into BDSM or porn in general then the anti-porn factions of feminism already consider you a rapist so that's pretty normal. (Even if you are a woman, watching porn supports an industry of rape and makes you a rapist supporter)
NBD
No.2085
>>1291Might aswell just say this, since i really want this post debunked:
1.You have no sources
2.Influence on mating rituals, on any animal other than monkeys, is far-fetched.
3.As
>>1293 noticed you really are leaking Tumblr on your post. Like a whole gallon of it.
No.2086
>>2085>no sourcesAlright no problem!
Here's some information about the midshipman fish,
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1439-0310.1994.tb01011.x/abstract;jsessionid=5E4E57659631B605216906FFCADD242A.f04t01The clownfish are examples of
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sequential_hermaphroditism which occurs in hundreds of species.
The information about hyenas can be verified easily here,
http://www.outtoafrica.nl/animals/enghyena.htmlAnd these are just the tip of the iceberg. I can give a few other quick examples if you like. In coho salmon there are also two types of males called "jacks" and "hooknoses" that differ in behavior as well as appearance. The smaller jacks, covertly jump in to fertilize a female's eggs while the hooknoses fight for dominance over a particular female and area. Something similar may be occurring in male deer as there are certain male variants that do not grow horns and are referred to as "hummels." Sunfish actually have 3 variants of males who all differ in size, strategy, and coloration. The largest males fight for dominance over females and area, the smallest work as sneaks who swiftly dart into territory fertilize and then run out, and the medium sized ones do a whole other crazy thing that involves a ritual with the dominant male. The medium and the large male actually then do a courtship with the female together and they both fertilize the eggs. If you want some nonfish examples (fish are fucking crazy), Canadian sparrows actually have 4 genders, two female and two male variants and the Side Botched Lizards of the American Southwest have 3 male variants and 2 female variants, all with different physical characteristics and different behaviors.
If we look at sexuality there's also a lot of variation, some species of whip-tail lizards in America are composed entirely of females who reproduce clonally but still have lesbian lizard sex regularly. In some birds, we can see females establishing homosexual relationships that they then maintain while having threesomes with males. Geese and swans also both engage in long term homosexual monogamy. In mammals, homosexuality shows up in around 60% of species. Bonobos are as close to us genetically as chimps and have sex constantly. Basically all the females seem to engage bisexually and so do many of the males.
If you want to look at just basics of how sexes are differentiated there's a ton of variety, but I'll stick to just mentioning some mammals I know of. The hyena example is striking but theres also, Bush Babies where the female has a long clit with a urethra to pee out of that has a vagina under it instead of balls. Spider-monkeys and their close relatives also have this and their clits can get erect too. In moles, the ovaries are mixed with testicular tissue. In dolphins and whales, the penis is hidden behind some labia to help keep things streamlined.
There's way weirder shit out there too but the point is, I selected a few examples too make the point that maybe it is something coming from biology. I don't know if it is, but I don't think it is far fetched that there might be more complexity to human sexual development than people used to think.
As for
>2.Influence on mating rituals, on any animal other than monkeys, is far-fetched.Idk what you are saying, influence of what? Thousands of species have different mating rituals? Why is that far-fetched?
>you really are leaking Tumblr on your post. Like a whole gallon of it.Again, I don't give a shit. I've never used tumblr, I don't give a shit about the social justice movement, and I'm not talking about this based on feminism. I'm just talking about biology. If you want it up with the animals be my guest.
No.2183
Wow. I'm a girl that nobody would ever think of how controlling I can be (want to be) and how much I just want to sit on a guys face grab his head and make him give me orgasm after orgasm. I don't understand why any girl wouldn't want that. I also want to watch porn and demand him to get me off. Or play with me while I'm reading a book. My extract I was with for many years was not very controlling like most men but he wasn't going to let me make him my slave either. I want to make my slave drive my car whenever I'm drinking wash me in the shower, dry me the. Massage me and lick my toes or suck on it if I wanted them to.. Pretty much anything I want plus to punish them without getting in trouble with the government. Weird enough a few men asked to be my slaves and I said no because I was afraid they weren't being that serious and give out my identity and/or judge me.
No.2190
>>2183Nice fap-fodder, dude.
Maybe you should keep your little masturbation fantasies to yourself and stop making the rest of us look bad.
No.2235
I wanted femdom back even when I was in elementary school, like, 1-3rd grade. I remember playing jail break, but male vs. female, and when I got caught, for some reason I liked it.
I remember watching Sailor Moon, and feeling something stirring when the sailor soldiers were tied up, but I was attracted to the evil women/monsters doing the tieing.
It's just a part of me. I, like many others, don't want 24/7 dom/sub relationship. I don't want a ballbusting girl who humiliates me. I just want, on top of a normal relationship, to be submissive in the bedroom. To be tied up and cuddled and toyed with.
No.2292
>>2085A tumblrina would write that femdom was THE natural/preferred relationship for humans, not one of many.
Your paranoia over SJWs is starting to make you behave just like them. Stop it.
No.2293
>>2292Also a tumblrrite would never argue with biological facts. It´s all about muh feelz.
No.2294
A tumblrina wouldn't have any consistency in their logic. They would just oppose whatever straight white men like at that given moment. You can probably find some tumblr post making the case for how femdom is even more patriarchal and abusive than male-dominated relationships.
No.2299
>>2294>You can probably find some tumblr post making the case for how femdom is even more patriarchal and abusive than male-dominated relationships.It's not just tumblr, I remember real feminists saying something like that. IRC she argued that BDSM is always patriarchal (as only men can worship/like violence) and that (professional) dommes are forced by men to earn their money this way…
She got quite some flak for it especially from lesbians that were into BDSM.
No.2300
>>1291>There are animals like the midshipman fish that challenge our ideas of gender and reproductive strategy binaries Fishes challenge our ideas of gender and reproduction?
Really?
There are almost as many variations of "Gender" and "reproductive strategies" as there are species but they all have so many different conditions (in sea horses for example it's the male that carry and nurse the offspring) that it's stupid to make statements on human "gender" and reproduction.
Male seahorses have puoches to carry their offspring but that doesn't challenge the "gender roles" or reproduction strategy of any other animal than sea horses or possibly closely related animals.
>but it is absolutely possible that sexual submission in men is a biological strategy which successfully competes with traditional male sexual aggression."traditional male sexual aggression" - what the fuck.
Aggression means to "inflict damage or other unpleasantness" upon someone.
You do realize that you're basically saying that "rape" is tradition for males and yet you do not understand why people call you a tumblerina.
I think what you wanted to say instead is "traditional dominant role".
No.2301
>>1291>traditional male sexual aggression.It's really pissing me off how casually you say that sexual aggression is tradition for males. What kind of fucked up worldview is that?
https://www.cmich.edu/ess/studentaffairs/SAPA/SexualAggression/Pages/default.aspx"[…]This includes but may not be limited to sexual assault, domestic violence, intimate partner violence, stalking, and harassment. "
If at all it's only a tradition during war and in war torn countries however in these countries it's also a 'tradition' to have child soldiers, burn people alive, commit genocide and and and.
Despite what Tumblr might told you rape has been outlawed and ostracized in most society including very patriarchal societies, the rape of lucretia for example has led to a revolution in which a monarchy was overthrown and a republic was established, 510 BC.
No really, for fucks sake go back to Tumblr were you obviously belong.
No.2302
>>2299>only men can worship/like violenceI don't even want violence. I HATE that this fetish has to be associated with all that retarded leather and dungeons and nipple clamps and shit. I just want a gentle femdom relationship in the bedroom and equality/normal relationship outside the bedroom.
>dommes are forced by menlmao I'm at my wit's end trying to find ANY woman who'd even consider trying it out for just one night.
Typical radfem asshole who talks as if what she's saying is the gospel, and yet has nothing to back it up besides her gut instinct and feelings. I don't even know what these people want out of society. Should every hetero man and woman just kill themselves and let the SJWs inherit the earth?
No.2304
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No.2306
>>2301>>2300>>2302
>Aggression means to "inflict damage or other unpleasantness" upon someone.
>You do realize that you're basically saying that "rape" is tradition for males and yet you do not understand why people call you a tumblerina.You just went full retard. Nobody mentioned rape… at all. When has "aggressive" ever meant "inflicting damage"? It can also just mean being the one to be proactive. Do you really think that men aren't traditionally the ones to pursue women? What the fuck are you on about with talking about child soldiers randomly? There wasn't even anything in that post saying it was a good or bad tradition. Stop same fagging all over the place just because you don't have an actual response and it makes you uncomfortable.
Its like "tumblr" and "SJW" are the only responses you know to things and your replies are barely coherent.
No.2307
>>2302>Should every hetero man and woman just kill themselves and let the SJWs inherit the earth?You've lost your fucking mind m8.
No.2309
>>2306Please show me a definition of "sexual aggression" that does not involve rape and physical abuse.
>When has "aggressive" ever meant "inflicting damage"?Since ever?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aggression"Aggression is overt, often harmful, social interaction with the intention of inflicting damage or other unpleasantness upon another individual"
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aggression"hostile, injurious, or destructive behavior or outlook especially when caused by frustration "
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/aggression"Feelings of anger or antipathy resulting in hostile or violent behaviour; readiness to attack or confront:"
"he action of attacking without provocation"
I actually can't find a definition that does not involve physical harm or other forms of unwanted abuse.
No.2310
I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about in this thread, but I have a general domination fetish and it can really go either way for me. I like femdom and regular women reking
No.2311
>>2309Aggressive is often used in everyday language to talk about someone pursuing something actively. You are seeing tumblrism where there is none.
No.2312
>>2306http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-cobuild/aggression
>"Aggression is VIOLENT and ATTACKING behaviour."http://www.thefreedictionary.com/aggression
>"an angry feeling that makes you want to ATTACK or DEFEAT someone else"http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/aggression
>"a HOSTILE or DESTRUCTIVE mental attitude or behavior"http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/aggression
>"any offensive activity, practice, etc: an aggression against personal liberty"http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/aggression
>"a VIOLENT ATTACK or threats by one person against another person or by one country against another country" No.2313
>>2312Jesus, dude. Here are some synonyms for "aggressive"; ambitious, assertive, enterprising, fierce, go-getting, self-asserting, self-assertive
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aggressiveplease go back to your containment board so people can actually have a conversation.
No.2314
>>2311You specifically talked about "sexual aggression".
Show me some examples of where "sexual aggression" is used akin to "pursuing something actively".
I can't find any.
No.2315
>>2312if they meant rape don't you think they would have said rape?
No.2316
>>2315These are definitions of aggression, not sexual aggression.
Its obvious that using "sexual" as an adjective means the same in sexual context (sexual assault and rape).
I could easily create a similar list for you to show that "sexual aggression" means rape to further embarrass you, but instead I just ask you again to show me examples where "sexual aggression" is used casually to describe pursing a girl in a non-threating/stalking way.
No.2317
>>2316I don't think anyone besides you saw realized it was a technical term.
No.2318
>>2317Feel free to Show me ANY examples (it doesn't have to be dictionary) where "sexual aggression" is used to describe asking a girl out.
No.2319
No.2320
No.2321
No.2322
No.2323
>>2320Searching for "sexual aggression" on google leads me to helplines, articles about rape culture, articles about sexual assault etc.
No.2324
>>2322Come on, if it's really common in real life to use "sexual aggression" to describe asking a girl out as you claim it shouldn't be hard to find some articles were people use it this way.
No.2325
>>2323because its apparently a technical term. Nobody else here seemed to know that and I don't think thats how that anon meant it considering they dint' mention rape at all.
No.2326
>>2324its not common to refer to dates that way but its common to use "aggressive" to describe people being assertive and dominant in sports or social interactions.
No.2327
>>2322>>2324But maybe it's impossible for me to find any example of using "sexual aggression" this because it's actually not common.
Actually, who the fuck in real life says "sexual aggression"?
>>2325>because its apparently a technical term. So, how common is the usage of technical terms, especially one that exclusively refers to rape, in real life?
No.2328
>>2327Are you being purposely obtuse? The point is nobody else knew that technical meaning so nobody else took it that way. There's nothing in that post to indicate it was meant that way. You are acting like a tumblrina that just got "triggered" by a random phrase lol
No.2329
>>2326>sports or social interactions.http://www.thesportinmind.com/articles/aggression-in-sport-2/"In sport, aggression has been defined into two categories: hostile aggression and instrumental aggression (Silva, 1983). Hostile aggression is when the main aim is to cause harm or injury to your opponent."
Even in these contexts it doesn't loose it's meaning of inflicting physical harm or being threatening.
No.2330
>>2329Again you are looking at technical meanings. Have you seriously never heard a coach tell you to be "more aggressive on the field"?
No.2331
>>2328>The point is nobody else knew that technical meaning so nobody else took it that way.You didn't knew it better - you can't speak for the rest of people that read this board.
And that's fine, why haven't you admitted that right away instead of pretending that this is not what it means or how it's used?
No.2332
>>2331because nobody ever uses it like that in everyday life. You happened to know something about sexual assault policy language that nobody else does. Congrats but that doesn't change the fact that nobody mentioned or even talked about rape before you started ranting.
No.2333
>>2332>because nobody ever uses it like that in everyday lifeThere is still a huge difference between "aggression" and "sexual aggression".
I NEVER heard someone use "sexual aggression" in the way you suggest people do.
No.2334
>>2333Ok but it was clear to me at least that the post meant "aggression in the normal meaning but in a sexual context" rather than "sexual aggression as defined by some college handbook"
The assumption in normal language is that "sexual aggression" just means "aggressive behavior that has to do with sex"
Its the same way somebody could mention "sexual competence" and you would take it to mean "being competent regarding sex" rather than assuming that they meant some weird legal definition. Do you actually not get this?
No.2335
>>2334>aggression in the normalIf that is the normal meaning as you claim, how comes that almost every dictionary defines it as an act of violence or threat?
>"sexual aggression as defined by some college handbook"Again, show me actual examples where it's used in your alleged normal meaning.
I can find dozens of blog entries by normal people (not scientists or journalists) that use it as a synonym for rape or assault, yet I can't find a single one where it's used in your alleged alternative meaning.
>"sexual competence"The thing is that you easily find examples and definitions that reflect that, so why do these not exist for "sexual assault"?
No.2336
>>2335>If that is the normal meaning as you claim, how comes that almost every dictionary defines it as an act of violence or threat?Maybe its regional? I am in the US. Do you actually not see how normal conversation works vs using technical terms?
No.2337
>>2335>The thing is that you easily find examples and definitions that reflect that, so why do these not exist for "sexual assault"?Because obviously if a term has a more official meaning then those results are going to be higher on google? And I assume the "assault" there is a typo but if you've been misreading this as assault the whole time I guess that would make sense for all the foaming at the mouth.
No.2338
>>2336>Maybe its regional? I am in the US. Do you actually not see how normal conversation works vs using technical terms?Yes, but I certainly never seen "sexual aggression" used like this.
I never actually heard anyone use it casually.
I find it hard to even come up with a sentence "be more sexually aggressive, bro!" - really, there are people that say that?
And again, you'd expect that you'll easily find examples of this on the Internet if it would casually describe to ask a girl out or pursue her.
Because people in the US surely go on the internet and constantly write things in blogs, tumblr, boards and search engines filter these.
This is literally the first time that I encountered someone who claims that it does not exclusively refer to sexual assault. (the very same person that at first argued that aggression does not refer to inflicting harm and now slightly backpedaled to that it's not the most common meaning).
No.2339
>>2338I've literally heard multiple girls here tell me that they love it when guys are "sexually aggressive." I've never heard it used to mean sexual assault. When people here want to talk about what you mean they say "sexual harassment."
No.2340
>>2337>>2339Try to google "sexual assault" and "dating advice" or something similar.
And even than you find news articles like "dating a sex offender" and many Tumblr blogs about rape culture, they all sound eerily similar to you in vocabular and manners. It's really not surprising that people mistake you for one of them.
Come on, it shouldn't be impossible to find some examples where it's used to describe asking a girl out if it's really common usage of "sexual assault".
No.2341
>>2339>I've literally heard multiple girls here tell me that they love it when guys are "sexually aggressive." I literally do not believe this.
No.2342
>>2341sorry? like I said maybe its regional.
No.2343
>>2340>>2340> they all sound eerily similar to you in vocabular and manners. It's really not surprising that people mistake you for one of them.what the fuck are you talking about?
when do people mistake me for one?
what vocabulary?
No.2344
>>2340…. ok are we talking about "assault" or being "aggressive"? You seem to be getting yourself confused.
No.2345
>>2342And these people never use blogs, boards or something?
I can assure that outside of the small village where you have to live, "sexual aggression" has no other common meaning than rape and sexual assault.
>>2343"sexual aggression" for example. It's one of the favorite words of radical feminists and tumblr users.
Or your long posts about gender roles using FISHES as an example…
>what the fuck are you talking about?CTRL+F "sjw" and "tumblr"
No.2346
>>2343>>2345Quoted the wrong line:
>when do people mistake me for one?
>CTRL+F "sjw" and "tumblr" No.2347
>>2345I think you are getting yourself mixed up anon, you aren't making sense. Have a good night.
No.2348
>>2347>I think you are getting yourself mixed up anonHow so?
No.2349
>>2347Okay.
First you claim that this is not a valid or common definition of sexual aggression at all.
Than you claim that your definition is much more common and shortly after that it's at least a valid definition/usage.
Then you claimed that It's only used the way I suggest in colleague books for which I showed that even sports magazines describe it as a hostile or threatening act that can lead to physical damage.
In the whole discussion you haven't come up with any example for your claims other than questionable anecdotal evidence yet you still claimed that it's TYPICAL and COMMON to use "sexual aggression" that way.
Multiple anons called you SJW/tubmlr in this thread after you said that fishes challenge the gender roles of humans.
Now you claimed that no one in this thread called you a SJW or tumblerina at all
>when do people mistake me for one?And ended the discussion with stating that I must be confused without any further elaboration.
This is like a textbook example of a typical tumblr user.
No.2350
>>2301>If at all it's only a tradition during war and in war torn countries however in these countries it's also a 'tradition' to have child soldiers, burn people alive, commit genocide and and and.
>getting this worked up over a post that's not even SJWy >giving yourself a stroke over imaginary tumblrinas>having almost no reading comprehension >making me defend that dumb post because of your even dumber response>pretending assault, rape and being aggressive are all the same thing>not understanding that multiple anons can post in one thread and assuming everyone is the same 0/10
No.2351
>>2350samefagging after pretending to leave the thread?
No.2352
>>2349>continuing to assume anons are the same>continuing to be a faggot>purposely misunderstanding everyone>being a total fucking embarrassment >continuing to call everyone tumblr and rant about phrasing instead of actually contributing No.2353
>>2350>>pretending assault, rape and being aggressive are all the same thingYou can violently pull a trigger, but that doesn't change that "violence" generally is about harming and suffering.
Similar "being aggressive" or "doing something agressively" is quite different from "aggression".
But especially when it comes to "sexual aggression" there is no other meaning.
No.2354
>>2352If you want to debate, show me some form of evidence that "sexual aggression" does not refer to rape or that people use it any other context.
No.2355
>>2351>trying to call different anons samefag but actually same fagging the whole thread No.2356
>>2352>>continuing to assume anons are the same>>2355> same fagging the whole threadThis board usually has about 1 post per two days. I just think it's very unlikely that someone else joins this threads but okay, I admit it's possible.
No.2357
>>2354>If you want to debate, show me some form of evidence that "sexual aggression" does not refer to rape or that people use it any other context.If I'm that mistaken it shouldn't be hard for you to proof me wrong, right?
No.2358
>>2357Are you replying to yourself this obviously now faggot?
No.2359
>>2358>If you want to debate, show me some form of evidence that "sexual aggression" does not refer to rape or that people use it any other context. No.2360
>>2359>ruins an entire thread with autistic rage over phrasing >continues to bitch about phrasing after ruining thread No.2361
>>2360>still not providing any evidence.I guess I could had saved myself a lot of time if I had simply insisted on some evidence for this bullshit, right?
No.2362
>>2361[shit posting intensifies]
Hey dumbass let's think this through,
>you want to talk about dudes being aggressive/assertive>you want to do that while talking about sexHm… What phrase would you use?
No.2363
what the fuck happened in this thread
No.2365
>>2363Some anon got triggered and went on a dictionary fueled autistic fit about rape.
No.2370
>>2362>[shit posting intensifies]
>asking for proof for a claim you made>shitpostingAlso your samefagging is obvious. This board is clinical dead and all of a sudden about 5 people join it within a few hours and afterwards that board is clinical dead again? come on
>that level of butthurt just because you can't back up your batshit insane claims No.2371
Thanks for ruining one of the few decent active topics in this forum. For fuck's sake.
No.2374
>>2363Someone got aggressive.
No.2377
Neat
No.2378
Hey so um. I was the one that made that post the other month. My point is just other animals have a lot of variety when it comes to this stuff so since people seem to have these tenancies even as kids it could be from biology. I had no idea that "sexual aggression" was used to mean sexual assault… I literally just meant that in most of society guys are seen as the ones pursuing and ones to aggressively pursue/initiate sex. Was not expecting that to cause a total meltdown like this.
No.2379
>>2370You know that people lurk and will join threads when they are super active right?
No.2381
What the actual fuck is going on here?!!!
No.2384
>>2183if this is actually true, can you tell me what women actually get out of having a dude lick or suck on your feet? It always seemed like more of a male foot fetish thing than something that would actually be enjoyable for a girl to me.
No.2388
No.2389
>When has "aggressive" ever meant "inflicting damage"?
No.2411
>>1731It's about as stupid as looking to fish to explain human sexuality.
No.2412
>>2313>please go back to your containment board Just go back to your containment website.
No.2414
>>2306> When has "aggressive" ever meant "inflicting damage"? Are you not a native english speaker?
How can people seriously defend an idiot that claims that aggression never meant to inflict damage or abuse others?
No.2416
No.2417
>>2412Do you have anything to actually contribute or are you just here to accuse everyone of being from tumblr?
No.2418
Hey guys, what is going on in this thr–
nope.jpeg
No.2422
>>2418Gotta love autists. At least they know how to fuck up a good thread with pointles debating.
No.2423
>>2422It was such a random thing to completely lose your shit over too.
No.2438
>>2416That shows that aggressive has multiple meanings.
But the mental retard that poeple here are defending claimed that aggressive NEVER meant to inflict harm.
No.2439
ffs please stahp, this thread makes no sense anymore
No.2440
>>2438No one cares. Idiot.
No.2441
>>2438wait… somebody exaggerated on the internet?
No.2442
>>2438>>2416>>2417>>2414>>2411>>2389How are you fucking autists
still arguing about this shit? Nobody gives a fuck. Thanks for ruining this topic. Hey, here's another board you oughta check out sometime:
>>>/suicide/ No.2445
>>2417Maybe you should have looked at what I responded to first instead of making a kneejerk post.
No.2446
>>2440Except for the Person I replied to.
>>2441>>2442dealwithit.gif
No.2447