/femdom/ - Femdom

>On the other side, Dommes - horribly spoiled (see above), not actually good at what they're doing, sometimes even straight-up man-hating, some trying to be financial when ugly as fuck. The good thing is that they're not as common as the betamale example above, but I think they're still a slight majority.

Are you talking about professional or non-professional dommes? Or both?

>>1879
I haven't made bad experiences with professional dommes so far - after all they have to be decent to make money and you arrange the session.

However in my experience (non professional) maledom and femdom are very different in their very nature.

Maledom seems to be focused on sex, lust and physical pain. Femdom seems to be more focused on having a servant, control and psychological suffering. Which also reflects in an attitude of entitlement. In my experience female doms also have a harder time to respect their sub especially as time goes on in a relationship.

You see this for example in the practices that are common for each. Forced Chastity that goes beyond preventing affairs for example is much more common in femdom. How often do you hear of a maledom putting his sub in chastity and masturbating in front of her or rewarding his sub with sex or punishing her by only allowing her to give him a handjob. Cuckolding is also much more common in femdom and financial domination is a rarity in maledom.

Maledom is mostly about sexually pleasuring and satisfying the male and femdom is mostly about being a servant for the women. (I say >mostly<, not exclusively! Just in case someone gets butthurt).

I personally could never imagine to have a true femdom relationship because of this.

>Really desperate subs - they're annoying, beta as fuck, have no requirements for who's actually going to fuck them, distract and horribly spoil Dommes and sadly, they're an overwhelming majority everywhere I go.

Supply and demand is also a factor which is very skewed because of this. Female doms can have unrealistic demands (alpha male with perfect body, childless, high size, good paying job, submissive yet strong, Independent yet emotionally caring etc.) while offering almost nothing in return other than being sadistic and dominant if they are in the right mood or downright hating men. (no job, fat, lazy, emotionally unstable…).

In online dating they write 3-4 paragraphs in what kind of men they want (which often has nothing to do with sex or BDSM) while rarely writing anything they offer in return other than sex or BDSM.

>>1879
They like to say "oh, I'm not a prostitute", but lets face it, even if you don't straight up fuck, it's prostitution.
Not that there's anything wrong with prostitution, it's more of a man's fault to get so desperate that he needs to pay for being Dommed.
Many non-professional Dommes (ones that actually look for a relationship) will still have ridiculously high demands, including pricey presents.

I'd actually like a relationship with the cuck-y stuff that >>1881 pointed out (outside of actual cucking), but I'd like from it to be equal in importance of both's pleasure. In most Dommes I read it's all about "MEMEMEME, YOU MAY HAVE THE HONOR OF ME TREATING YOU LIKE ACTUAL SHIT.

Funnily enough, the Dommes I've met that actually got that, understood that and were really nice still cucked their husbands and dreamed of having 2-3 slaves running around them. I don't think this can really be changed and some quality forced into them, since, as I've said, many are straight-up manhaters and will just assume you're some virgin neckbeard for expecting quality and understanding.

>>1882
>I'd actually like a relationship with the cuck-y stuff that >>1881 (You) pointed out (outside of actual cucking),

You mean chastity, orgasm control and using sex as a reward?

Despite my post I think it's hot because I know that it would make me more submissive and it definitely helps in forming the power relationship that is necessary for femdom.

I'm conflicted about this for two reasons:

The first is that in my opinion my partner should perceive not having sex with me as self-punishment, it wouldn't be the same level of punishment for us since I could still satisfy her orally or otherwise but generally she should desire to have sex with me and if she could lock me up for a longer time I would doubt that this would be the case.

The other reason is that I know couples in which the domme went completely overboard with this overtime. There are lots of jokes about how the wife doesn't want to have sex anymore after marriage or simply over time - this can become much worse in femdom relationships. If being in chastity and controlled is intended to be a part of your relationship it becomes much more difficulty to talk about the lack of sex. Your girlfriend can easily justify her lack of interest in you with harsh punishments that you deserved and that you're her slave on top of other typical arguments (too much stress in job, not enough time etc).

I know that some subs get horny on the thought of being locked in chastity for a longer time but this often involves fantasies where they have to satisfy their domme orally, where she teases you etc. but if these things stops it's rarely enjoyable.

I know very few lucky couples where this worked out in the longterm.

>>1878
>Especially on the internet.

Alot of people don't know what they're doing.

>>1883
That's actually an interesting point. There's definitely a lot of difference here.
Still, I think that, if you're going to lock up a sub, then at least you should play with him or tease, not just fucking leave him. This is what happens when bad Dommes pair with shitty subs and since we got a majority of both, it's no wonder that femdom relationships don't end well.

I'm really hoping for a solution to this, or even a counter-culture, but that must be hard as fuck to organize. As I've said, the second you'll stop sucking up to most Dommes (and lets face it, these cunts will steer every place on the internet they'll get their hands on), they call you a shithead and, of course, a mass of betamales will swarm you as they command. Which I actually had happen to me, a couple of times.

>>1891
There's a small counter culture forming through things like fetlife but its also got an infection of tumblr special snowflakes that claim to be kinky/pansexual/etc. in an attempt to actually make themselves interesting while having vary little actual sexual variation from the average. So that keeps some people away.

There's also some very smart and well adjusted but deeply kinky people around at those things, they just aren't necessarily the majority.

A lot of the problem is that anywhere where women gather to talk about being doms you get a sudden swarm of betas messaging them with their dicks in their hands. I was talking to one of the actually intelligent and very legit doms at an event about it and she regularly gets messages from these retards that ask drink her period blood or be made to suck another guys cock right off the bat.

Seriously, what do these people think that accomplishes? Even if a girl is into those fantasies, having some random stranger on the internet tell them that out of nowhere is never going to help anyone.

>>1882
oh man, that sucks. Idk, I'm a switch girl and domming is all about taking care of and loving a guy to insanity. Inevitably I get dissapointed and I punish out of love, u feel? High expectations + compatible kink= damn fine sex and aftercare.

>>1896
yeah dude I'm not even actively seeking a relationship bc unstable living conditions but even when you're vanilla as shit you still get thirsty as fuck betas sending dick pics. I can't even imagine setting up an account for myself as a domme or switch.

>>2108
Ey, nice that I come to my ded thread and there's a reply.

I don't want to forget about the female side of things as well. We might complain about not having a lot of quality Dommes, because frankly, they don't have to get any quality to be swarmed with men, but I suppose it's also shit for these women, that actually want to give and receive quality.
How would anyone talk to literal hundred of disposable betamales just to get one guy that's fucking interesting, has volition and seeks something more than a cheap thrill? And these males can't even actively search, unless they want to join the swarm of garbage that nobody cares about anyway.

It might sound judgmental, but we all know what the reality is. I just wish for a place where nobody would be thirsty as fuck. Shit, maybe even have people come in and say "I'm thirsty, help me get rid of that". Okay - that's probably pushing it too far, but just a bit of god-damn quality.
Maybe /femdom/ could be this place, since I saw that some of that betaness is shunned, but it's also quite ded. I hope that changes.