/femdom/ - Femdom

Some of the dommes I've met have said that while they are sadists and would probably go all the way with full degradation and cruelty and get off on it, they'd not be able to respect the guy and wouldn't want a relationship with him.

So you have to hit a balance. Ropes, whips, wax, gags, collars etc. are good. Pegging, play with excrement, sissy stuff and cuckoldry is bad. Maintain strong boundaries, and yes you have to be "alpha" outside the bedroom and keep doing all that tiresome one-upmanship top dog crap with other guys. I do the cocky crap and tease my domme all the time. She loves it.

Basically, be "manly". That's what all women love.

>>3640

I'm not saying it's more important than the attitude stuff, but it definitely helps if you work out and take care of yourself.

>>3640

> Even hardcore dominant women would want a man she can respect and will protect her.

Eeeeeeeeeeeee…. I think that's an oxymoron.

>>3640

You know how there are intelligent women and respectable women who have high paying jobs etc. but enjoy being submissive in the bedroom? I've dominated gfs before and still respected them as people. That's considered normal. This can work the same way, BDSM in the bedroom and a normal relationship outside of it. What you get off on doesn't define your entire personality.

I generally like to lead things in real life and enjoy power in everything outside the bedroom.

>>3648

No it's not, even dominant women recognize that men generally have more muscle and are better equipped to fend off a hypothetical mugger or something. I think this post I read from a domme I met a while ago sums up a common attitude:

>I fucking love these gorgeous dudes flexing and straining against the ropes, their animalistic spirits breaking free as they struggle and moan and whimper and beg. I love the smells, the textures, the muscles and hair and sweat. I love the tears and the groans and the look of devotion in their eyes and the soft pleas on their lips. I love men and manliness and masculinity, and I love it more when it’s bound for my pleasure.

There are some dommes that might get off on femine/beta type guys but there are plenty who get off on the guy being having "alpha" but controlled during sex.

If you are respectable in everyday life it makes it more special when you submit to someone.

>>3651

>You know how there are intelligent women and respectable women who have high paying jobs etc. but enjoy being submissive in the bedroom? I've dominated gfs before and still respected them as people. That's considered normal. This can work the same way, BDSM in the bedroom and a normal relationship outside of it. What you get off on doesn't define your entire personality.

I've *heard* of a few instances where a relationship progressed to the more hardcore femdom stuff (including pegging) and the girlfriend just began to lose actual respect for her BF to the point of breaking up.

>>3658

Right, but it can work fine. That doesn't mean it always does. It really shouldn't be tied to respect for you as a person but it might be for some people.

>>3640

What the fuck is respect?

>>3658

That's women for you. You do stuff for them that they love, and you are happy making them happy. They do stuff you love, and you're happy, but they resent that they aren't the one being pampered.

Dominance, anything really, is, or can be, work, some people really enjoy that kind of work and can just keep going 24/7, most people need breaks. Making a dom work more than they want to is a tipping point in power exchange, that while the dom is doing dom things and the sub is doing sub things, whoever is benefiting more or exclusively (in this example the sub) is the true "dom" and it becomes less likely that the dom will enjoy themselves creating bitter feelings.

In the end, to be a true sub, is to be selfless, even if it means not being a 'true' sub at times. It's all about balancing out your needs with theirs; that's successful relationship fundamentals right there.

Also, being subservient doesn't mean being weak or ineffectual.

>>3658

I think the issue is some guys are too quick to submit fully. Most guys lose interest in a girl that puts out too early, correct? Well, a guy that just lets you knock him over is similar. You don't get as invested in him as you would from slowly conquering him. You don't feel like you've put your mark on him, so to speak.

Another thing is, if a girl is inexperienced, she can get weirded out if she gets power faster than she can acclimatize to it, even if she's fundamentally dominant. The dominant role can be daunting, especially when it seems like there's no boundaries - you start worrying about crossing them by accident when you don't know here they are.

TL;DR give her a taste at first, but put up a little resistance.

You can still be a normal masculine man and be submissive sexually.

All it means is that you want your wife/gf to take control during sex.

>>4202

Look at the OP. I wasn't talking about a girl doing cowgirl or some other vanilla sex