/fit/ - Fitness, Health, and Feels

>>82500

>Anyone else get this?

I wouldn't say it's social anxiety as much as it's more along the lines that I just tend to get bored around people

>>82500

I think I can say I'm a bit haunted by it, when I'm in public most of my actions are ok but when I see a huge crowd of people I start to freak out, like when my gym gets a little crowd my heart rate goes up and I'm shaking a little, it gets easier but it happens quite often if I don't have some kind of comfort with the people around.

Not when I'm drunk

>>82586

>a girl once said that I speak with a penis in my mouth

Well she'd be the expert on that I guess

>>82645

A slurry of chemicals and meat chunks firing electrical signals at each other in a sequence that somehow results in consciousness.

I am diagnosed with social anxiety.

My anxiety mostly hit when I believe others think I am stupid or ignorant, or I perceive myself as such in the company of others. It manifests itself in a thoroughly uncomfortable gut feeling, I begin sweating, shaking and i get an urge to run away.

I used to do a lot of hobby woodworking, making small pieces of furniture and such. I shared a workshop with one of my housemates who always kept the workshop stocked with various sizes of lumber. One day he moved and soon after I ran out of a certain size of lumber, so I had to go to the hardware shop. I went in there and got to the lumber section, but when an employee asked me what I was looking for and I didn't know the name for the kind of lumber I wanted, I panicked, stared at him for a few seconds and ran out. I literally didn't leave the house for a month.

That was about 18 months ago. I haven't been to the hardware shop since. I have practically given up on my favourite hobby and my workshop stands abandoned as a monument to my inability to function as a normal human being.

The psychiatrist that diagnosed me wrote that my case most likely is completely treatable with cognitive therapy, but the local government have refused to grant me therapy, partly because the high cost mean that they would lose money if I should fail, and partly because them recognizing the diagnosis means I get a higher level of welfare. So it is much much cheaper for them to just ignore my letters and keep sending me the lowest level of welfare.

I don't care about being able to talk to girls, go to parties or have actual friends.

I just want to be able to have a job and go into shops without being terrified.

>>82689

Dude, that's terrifying, it surprises me you live in Denmark.

>>82601

Kek. Fucking mouthy whores hey?

>>82689

>Denmark

>Fear

Choose one, broder.

>>82689

>if I should fail

Do they not realize you pretty much already have?

>>82689

You'll have to get out of your comfort zone, just take baby steps it's not that hard.

For anyone with actual, real social anxiety, I cured mine by working customer service jobs.

If you can't handle face-to-face, start with phone work. Find a catalog gift company that needs seasonal help for valentine's day or something. There's still tons of old people who don't know how to use the internet and place orders by calling, and it's a lot easier to talk to people when you don't have to see their face and you can make whatever expressions you want on your end as long as you sound nice. You can't pussy out and not answer the phone, or mumble, or hang up mid-sentence, because if you do you'll get fired. It's good motivation to improve.

Once you're comfortable speaking on the phone, get a customer-facing job like the customer service desk at a retail store. I'd advise against cashiering, because it's soul-crushing and monotonous and it only makes you good at reciting certain lines, not ACTUAL conversation. Trying to help people through returns/exchanges and quality issues is much better for training speech skills, because no two incidents are the same.

Aside from making you better at talking to people, this approach also serves to make you realize an important fact.

NOBODY GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT YOU.

You might not believe me now, but when you've worked in public long enough, you'll realize it yourself. Everyone is too goddamn selfish and concerned with their own problems to even consider the fact you're human and you have feelings too. You're just an obstacle, between them and whatever they had planned later that day, and they want to finish their interaction with you as soon as possible. Not because you're ugly or weird or have mental problems, but because they don't give a fuck. When you realize nobody on earth cares what the fuck you get up to unless it directly affects them, social anxiety completely dissolves. The only way your paranoia actually makes sense is if you paint a target on yourself by doing dumb shit. When I say dumb shit I mean REALLY FUCKING DUMB. Like dressing like rainbow dash or wearing a furry tail in public or being one of those People of Walmart who think it's okay to go shopping in their underwear. You have to put actual effort into being so goddamn weird that people take pictures of you and tell their friends about this weird guy they saw. I like to assume you're not so far gone that you think wearing a fedora or a fox tail buttplug or a diaper in public is normal. If you're not that kind of batshit crazy, and you dress like any normal jackoff, then nobody in public cares about you in either a positive or negative light. You may as well be invisible. And invisibility is liberating.

>>82586

You missed a slick line opportunity.

Christ, I thought I might have some tinges of it but after reading this lot it's evident I don't.

Not that I had issues earlier but I've worked behind a till since I was 13, as a result I've spoken to 1000s of everyone from kids to hot girls to shifty looking thief cunts and one time, a murderer fresh from his spree (he seemed nice enough). I can talk to anyone, about anything and it's rare they end the conversation cos I'm a thoughtful and witty bastard, if anything *I* tend to get sick of them and I'm also an opinionated fuck.

I think a huge element of social anxiety is it's origin point, you know some people you merely tolerate and every time you see them approach you go 'Oh gawd' and just hope it's going to be over quickly. Then *you* go and talk someone's ear off past polite tolerance and don't realise it until later and then you've (temporarily) become that same pain in the arse to someone you liked enough to talk that much to.

That thought process kicks off a spiral. Someone makes a sperg of themselves by focusing and dwelling on past social misfires, they compound problems by assuming their next interaction is going to be tainted with croaking, mumbly, stumbly, wobbly un-funny, half thought out ideas and lo and behold that's what happens… it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

That's not to say you should try to plan out what you're going to say that's even more uber spastic and fosters terrible habits that make people sound like either robots or hacky tv hosts. You have to rely on your wits in the moment but they have to be tested to make you a decent conversationalist or storyteller. I'm not saying try to make everything a joke but making people laugh or at least smile as you explain your stance/tell your tale is infinitely preferable to bringing no levity to the table. If you're exuding glum people will cast you like that in their mind when they bother to think of you at all.

Most people give zero fucks unless you're invested in their travails, if you know some of their story and can relate to them with your experiences with some regularity *then* they give a fuck, otherwise you might as well be a cardboard cutout and any sperging you do is a discrete package of data that's readily discarded from their minds.

You should most definitely *consider* what people think of you but never worry about it, all forms of worry are utterly pointless and serve no good purpose.

>>82645

A bunch of faggots

>>82766

You didn't say no homo you faggot no homo

>>82739

datfeel.png anon, datfeel indeed. I was socially retarded until a gained a bit of confidence from lifting and got even better when I did phone-based support jobs; I realised that heaps of people are just massive normalfaggots and I was being way too hard on myself for no absolutely no reason at all.

Anyone know about fixing excessive sweating of the hands and redness of the face whenever I talk to new people (especially girls?)

I'm entirely fine speaking to existing friends and random people over the phone and I'm even pretty sociable online with a lot of people, but that's the extent of it.

I sperg out in a lot of conversations, not because I'm afraid of having a conversation, but because of how red I can feel my face getting.

>>82500

Its been getting better since going to the gym oddly enough.

Come on OP, nobody fears socializing. You fear being hurt/abandoned.

It's called Depth Panic. You either have it or the people around you have it. It goes like this:

People go day to day ignoring the bad shit that's happened/happening to them and the bad choices they make, and evade the anxiety of thinking about them. They drink and hang out with "friends" to distract themselves.

You actually want to talk about meaningful things, but that brings up anxiety in these people, and they evade. You may get through to them once, but they'll quickly cut you off because of the people they surround themselves with.

Like a recovering alcoholic at a bar, if you stop evading important feelings and thoughts, your previous buds will look like zombies, maybe your family too. The part that scared me the most was the realization that we are walking around zombies and people pretending to be zombies, and people will take zombies to nobody at all.

Don't bow down to that shit tho dude. It always leads to a shitty end.

>>82906

OP here, how should someone go about changing that though? I can't find any good friends at the moment and I can totally see what you mean by the whole zombies thing. I have a computer job so I'm surrounded by extremely bland and boring people who are obsessed with vidya and things I just don't care about.

>>82586

>Você fala como se tivesse um pau na boca

kek

I dont have any anxieties

I just dont care about other people

>>82906

I read this post and then realized this is what I am (me being the one producing it, not the people in my environment.) I want to research it a bit more thoroughly, only trouble is, I've not come across any info about "depth panic" as such. Is there any other name for this phenomenon?

>>82906

>People go day to day ignoring the bad shit that's happened/happening to them and the bad choices they make, and evade the anxiety of thinking about them. They drink and hang out with "friends" to distract themselves.

shit man, describes my life from being 18 to being 24 perfectly.

when i cut the booze i didn't know what to do with myself and never left my apartment, ate takeout everyday and got morbidly obese.

resocializing myself feels like a workout for my mind.

>going outside and actually interacting with people

>buying groceries routinely

>not having earphones in as soon as i leave the apartment

>not freaking out when there are more than 4 people in the grocery store

>helping manlets (and womanlets) to reach the top shelves instead of shutting down and fleeing just somewhere else because i am afraid of people thanking me for anything

>etc.

noob gains for my soul

Gym is impossible for me.

I seldom go jogging or bicycling, save for nights.

Answering or making phone calls is hell.

Job interviews are death.

I have a gay lisp and a higher than normal voice and it kills me whenever I have to speak and I'm not even gay. I can see the physical cringe and disappointment whenever my voice comes out and other person makes a 'that was not what I was expecting face'. I've been trying online voice coaching to try and deepen it like Jensen Ackles or a FtM transgender but so far progress has been slow or non-existent and it kills me inside. Plus it always feels like shit when people you know call you out on 'why aren't you speaking normally?' or say things like 'do you have a cold?' or complete strangers manage to call you out on it asking 'are you deepening your voice? just be yourself man' Just kill me.

Even when I don't have to speak I get anxious over little stupid things like the anticipation of waiting in lines or dealing with 'authority figures' which can be anything from a waiter taking my order or a store clerk. I'm fine when I'm helping other people, but when I have to get help or ask things from others it just triggers my anxiety. Also when i get anxiety, I sweat more than usual, and then I get even more anxiety because I'm sweating so much over nothing and it's just a vicious cycle as I sweat even more because I'm sweating. Honestly I know it's all in my head and there's nothing to sweat or be anxious about, but it just doesn't work that way. It just happens and I just hope one day I will stop but I am doubtful at this point.

>>87225

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog's_dilemma

>>87335

get bigger

your voice will get deeper

>>87335

>>87335

>Even when I don't have to speak I get anxious over little stupid things like the anticipation of waiting in lines or dealing with 'authority figures' which can be anything from a waiter taking my order or a store clerk.

Used to be me, not anymore, can't start a conversation unless i have clear motives for it though, otherwise i get anxious as fuck.