why not both?
grim and friendly go hand in hand
to accept grimness, which is so often reviled by normalfolk, is the mark of a truly nonjudgmental, ultimately friendly individual
it's like choosing to befriend that smelly weird kid everyone hates for reasons they can't put their finger on instead of hopping on the bandwagon and hating him just because you're supposed to
the ultimate act of acceptance
accepting that which is easily accepted means very little