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File: b387b3cfca7de5b⋯.png (374.26 KB, 600x800, 3:4, 63551517_p1.png)

 No.310606

This is the Corruption of Champions mod being developed by OtherCoCAnon and the denizens of /hgg/.

Corruption of Champions is a text-based flash game overhauled with new dungeons, new mechanics, new characters, and a lot of lolis.

The mod is open to content submissions, anons can and are writing new content to be implemented all the time.

Downloads

Latest Version (1.3.17)

https://mega.nz/#F!St0HiaTC!oNQs48SWTDvmDBLHWZuHHA

Use a standalone flash player (projector), this shit is no longer supported by any web browser.

Remember to save to file to prevent save loss.

https://www.adobe.com/support/flashplayer/debug_downloads.html

Information

>Game Related

Source Code: https://gitgud.io/BelshazzarII/CoCAnon_mod

Changelog: https://pastebin.com/CDU8byhd

>Thread Related

Previous thread: >>302887

Thread Archives: https://gitgud.io/Blank/CoCAnon_mod/raw/OPT/Archives

OP Template: https://pastebin.com/raw/q38Ccy3n

>Writing Related

Content Submissions (Chronicles): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iuDsLw3PxshvL8yYUkOeiJr6DSJ7zpjaeGvumF65l_I

Submission & Misc. Archive: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1LGK4sPuWH69iEZ9ZmX2fnfDRrhj7h4hQ

Writing Guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PGysInt0S0VHYvPv0b__4xpHqrfbE-zikQiRonsnUsU

Bounty Board: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZUtah0gtbBQzB5kM7wElYlcNAwU8-QOgNkovO0_7WUI

 No.310608

File: 013b843244dcc33⋯.jpg (127.87 KB, 780x520, 3:2, 85c1bf1401f41a676dbb95374b….jpg)

Damn, I was moments away from making the new thread before I opened a new tab to check just in case. Wanted it to be "In The Garden Edition" since it's been a lot of plant stuff lately.


 No.310611

File: 08b97cb951919e0⋯.jpg (736.69 KB, 1637x1157, 1637:1157, 56823271_p0.jpg)

If I think about it, wouldn't fairy companion during battle be pretty easy to add if she behaved similarly to summoned swords?


 No.310612

File: 4cb339f9f1bbff2⋯.jpg (17.45 KB, 764x56, 191:14, wahahahahahahahaha.jpg)

Fucking lol'd, you actually did it. I mean it's nice to see devs listening to players, but, hey anon, can't just ignore her?


 No.310614

>>310612

You can ignore a tumour, but it's still not a good thing to do.


 No.310615

File: c4e37e539d0ba6d⋯.jpg (261.08 KB, 850x1202, 425:601, summercirno.jpg)

>>310406

>Thanks for not giving up, you fucking fag.

No problem friendo, I gotta work hard to get to finally write all that Snuggles NTR content I have planned.

>>310481

>I assume you meant her feet are 'bare' rather than 'bear'.

I originally typed bare but spent three minutes convincing myself it should be bear instead . You would think i'd have just googled it instead of being retarded. I'll fix it in a little while.

Side note are there even bear people in coc? I don't recall any.

>>310611

That would be a nice alternative for the player to use over magic.

>>310612

>hey anon, can't just ignore her?

No.


 No.310618

>>310611

Why would a fairy follow you around to help you slaughter really spooky shit though?


 No.310620

>>310618

You help her find all the cool books obviously


 No.310621

>>310620

what a nerd


 No.310628

>>310621

I mean

We do find some cool books even discounting the magic ones

Take the Mansion or kitsune shrine as examples


 No.310637

How much mod content is there versus initial game content, in terms of ratio?


 No.310643

>>310637

How about you do some research for even five minutes yourself, you dumb, disgusting, lazy faggot?


 No.310653

previous archive

57 01/20/19 https://archive.is/iHknq Very Helpful 302887


 No.310654

>>310628

NEEEEEEERD!


 No.310665

>>310637

An interesting question, I wonder where we're at so far. Coding-wise, there's such massive overhaul, but vanilla CoC has shitloads of content. I wouldn't call much of it good, but it is content. On that front, we've probably made a pretty decent dent, but I've not a clue what sort of ratio we're at.

As vanilla CoC has a much larger pool of writers, a much longer development life, and a much lower bar of quality, it'll be really hard to reach that 1:1 point. If you just want to know how much content is in this so you can decide whether or not to play, ratio is definitely the wrong question to ask. If that's the question you meant, then I would say fuck off, it's really easy and apparent if you spend a few minutes looking.

>>310618

Anyone that refers to the faerie race in CoC as fairy is someone whose suggestions should not be accepted.

>>310628

>I mean

This is how beta cucks have to preface their thoughts


 No.310667

>>310665

Why what is wrong with calling the faeries fairies? There is no other race that could be confused by it and it is still correct


 No.310688

File: 9f6bc7838d63e24⋯.jpg (40.27 KB, 621x746, 621:746, goth gf outfit.jpg)

Suggest me some challenges for this game.

I already did a hardcore run, where I let my penis get pierced and beat the game without a manual attack.

What are some other hard runs to do?


 No.310695

>>310545

>>310546

>Having three modifiers is often a bit awkward, but especially so when only two of them are coordinate like here.

I don't really see any awkwardness here, but what would be the solution? Cutting "approaching", sure, but I don't really want to cut any of them. So, a comma after it? No comma after "nude"?

>Capitalise

"Soap, soap, we will need [soap]" works as a sentence.

>the essay

Yeah, my mother tongue does favour long, convoluted sentences like that, so I myself have absolutely no issue with following them, and I find them a lot of fun to both read and write. I won't get rid of them entirely, but I am meaning to slim my writing down a little anyway, and one way of doing that is using shorter, elementary-grade sentences, I suppose. And I'm aware I use "when" wrongfully synonymously with "after" quite a bit.

>How does one shuffle faintly?

Can't movements be faint?

>I thought we'd converted you.

How conceitedly foolish of you.

>Seems like an odd thing to do, especially if you're a pure champion. Why are you washing her from the front again?

You're not doing it fully on purpose, and you're following a short whim by looking at her arms a little more closely, now that you have a good chance. Does "inadvertently" not mean what I think it does?

>Dangling participle

Is it one? It modifies "before she finally lays her hands [...]", but is that too far removed?

>Capitalise on what?

Capitalise on the previous sentence: "the effect you have on her".

>I believe "do pray tell" is a bit more common.

Usually when used in a demanding fashion, yes.

Don't worry, I'm not going to try and drive you like a slave, unless you're into that.


 No.310701

>>310695

>Cutting "approaching", sure, but I don't really want to cut any of them.

I'd really recommend cutting/moving "glistening" or "approaching." Although even "approaching nude form" is still a bit awkward to me, that + ", glistening <with something/whatever>" would sound better.

>one way of doing that is using shorter, elementary-grade sentences

To be clear, it's not the length, but the way things are put together that makes things flow poorly. You could have a full paragraph sentence that still reads well if you're careful.

>Can't movements be faint?

I suppose I can see something like "a faint wave," but "faintly shuffling" seems odd. Thinking on it more, I guess you could keep it, but it's likely to make your reader stop and scratch their head, which isn't generally what you want.

>It modifies "before she finally lays her hands […]",

In that sentence, "lathering" clearly modifies "pause," which makes no sense. But even if the word order was correct, you have a clear temporal order of lather–pause–lay, which doesn't work with what it seems like you want. You could go with "After lathering up her upper pair, she pauses for a moment, her eyes jumping over your naked [skindesc], before finally laying…"

>CapitaliZe on the previous sentence: "the effect you have on her".

Should've been more clear. As this is after the next button, there's no proper antecedent, so the reader likely won't know what you mean (it's exacerbated by "the effect" not being the last words/noun in the previous sentence and the fact that they'll probably read the tooltips in between). My first time reading, I had to look back, and they won't be able to. Although I've noticed that a surprising number of English speakers/readers simply do not give a shit about antecedents at all if they know vaguely what you mean, so there's that.


 No.310712

>>310701

>Although even "approaching nude form" is still a bit awkward to me, that + ", glistening <with something/whatever>" would sound better.

To me, doing that is what would make it incredibly awkward in the first place, even if you ended the sentence right after, so that's a decisive no from me.

>I've noticed that a surprising number of English speakers/readers simply do not give a shit about antecedents at all if they know vaguely what you mean

I can relate to that. Reading through it again, I myself would automatically assume it referred to her aroused state in general, even if I deleted the previous sentence entirely.


 No.310752

>>310615

>Side note are there even bear people in coc? I don't recall any.

One of the bazaar rapists is a bearman.

>>310637

>How much mod content is there versus initial game content, in terms of ratio?

How do you quantify content? How do you count content from the original game that has been significantly changed?


 No.310754

>>310752

>One of the bazaar rapists is a bearman

Silly mode pedobear when


 No.310755

>>310754

When someone writes a child version of the rape scene, most likely.


 No.310784

File: fb80246c3f09e26⋯.png (441.85 KB, 600x700, 6:7, 46395743_p2.png)

Black Velvet Male Victory Sex

https://pastebin.com/aEfUkeKb

With that, I think I'm actually done with the entire project, at least functionally. Adding extra stuff is still entirely permissible, but it's ready to be in-game now.

Intiial encounter, subsequent, codex, male/female loss scene, male and female non-combat sex scenes, male and female victory sex scenes, and an entire new TF set with a new armor quest. And all in just two and a half weeks, half the time it took the last new encounter I tried to make. God bless.

Shoutout to lesbianon for handling a couple of those scenes for me.

>>310754

>>310755

I am completely unaware of this content, but that sounds tempting.


 No.310798

File: 5a108365cf1a5a6⋯.png (390 KB, 666x500, 333:250, Chronicles.png)

Content Submissions (Chronicles)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iuDsLw3PxshvL8yYUkOeiJr6DSJ7zpjaeGvumF65l_I (UPDATED)

———————————————

I changed up the format of the Chronicles of where the text is located quite a lot. I doubt it will be noticeable, but I changed the text margin of the Chronicles along with all the other documentation to be in-line and uniform with each other. The individual sections now also have their own dividers to make it transition better, they're exactly like the space between posts here to keep it in the spirit of where it all started.

Little Sister Content and Eldritch-chan have been removed due to prolonged absence of the author. As always they can still be found in the archive linked in the OP and can be picked up as projects by anyone interested. Speaking of which, I'll be redoing the archived submissions most likely somewhere in the lifespan of this thread. It's been a retarded convoluted mess for too long when it could be structured so much better. To the single person who uses it, look forward to that.


 No.310815

File: b1f6ac4a347d617⋯.jpg (108.8 KB, 700x720, 35:36, 1258589488250.jpg)

Fran when?


 No.310816

>>310559

>I mean, she's small regardless of your own height.

But she's not small compared to you. Would a fairy really describe an alice as small? Maybe I'm over-thinking this.

>Maybe it's because I'm not a loli, but what would those suspicions be?

That she, like the player, is another child champion.

>this is a weapon specific scene, so the parser makes less sense

The parser would mean no one has to update the scene if the weapon name ever changes. Though this barely matters, so I'll change it if that's the consistent way.

>While a corrupt player would obviously be more inclined to take the offer, why would they be unable to do this?

I thought more choices used corruption locks than they actually do, but it turns out being aroused enough for sex is all the push a beacon of purity needs to rape Jojo.

>There's no route for players that have the loli toggle on, but don't want to fuck her.

How embarrassing.

>are you still working on the mansion?

I don't really know where I'm going with it, so sort of.

>spoiler

It's discord, though.


 No.310819

File: edf0487d41305ac⋯.jpg (176.84 KB, 850x1183, 850:1183, drawn_by_sabujiroko.jpg)

With this Snuggles part 1 should in theory be finished (outside of editing, I tried fixing what I could myself). Her rape scenes are there, m/f, consensual first time sex scenes, m/f/, her murder scenes, where you choke her to death and the other where you rip her wings off after raping her Some hugs too. I was going to make her confession scene longer and have her give her full back story on what happened to her family but I felt it ran on too long as is. Going to move it to after she lays Smiles's egg, makes sense for her to tell you everything once a baby is involved. Also need to figure how to do her slave route, ripping her wings off and fire-balling her back seems unreasonable. Maybe slave collars?

https://pastebin.com/uzN4gY1b

If part 1 is fine with a few people i'll get right to part 2. Thinking of writing letting the pc build her a store. It might be cute. drunkenly fucking her on top of the store counter you build to test its sturdiness?

>>310752

Really? think there would be more of them.

>>310815

In terms of writing? After the birbs. When she'd be implemented. I have no idea.


 No.310849

>>310819

>Really? think there would be more of them.

Maybe if bearlolianon returns someday.


 No.310851

>>310819

Damn that's a nice picture. Sorry to reply with nothing constructive to add - but damn.


 No.310854

Is anyone familiar with bog bodies? Human remains naturally mummified in bogs. Anyway, for those familiar, do you think some sort of mummy-esque encounter would work well in the bog area?


 No.310858

When I open the .swf in flash player, it doesn't load and just gives me a black screen. Is there any way to fix this?


 No.310859

>>310851

Pussy juice strands are another gift of the great invention of pantsu.


 No.310866

>>310858

Load it in a debug player¹ and post the error message it gives.

1. https://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/flashplayer/updaters/32/flashplayer_32_sa_debug.exe


 No.310870

File: 7c83fe2424dd9ae⋯.png (9.02 KB, 541x291, 541:291, ss (2019-02-04 at 11.56.47….png)


 No.310874

>>310606

>>310859

Is it weird I though she was tasering her pussy with a charge weapon type spell. In my defense why would anyone pee on a sword.


 No.310877

>>310874

>why would anyone pee on a sword.

To make it inflict lust damage on those with a specific fetish.


 No.310901

File: b0b9656b5489cfd⋯.gif (333.74 KB, 226x199, 226:199, Pp4MV32.gif)

File: a95daee2517c7b6⋯.gif (66.14 KB, 223x199, 223:199, BI0qaev.gif)

>>310877

Absolutely disgusting


 No.310915

>>310901

I think you mean absolutely arousing. A cute girl pissing on you? Amazing. And if she's a loli? Well what else do you even need?


 No.310920

>>310874

Do you *really* want to be cut by a sword someone peed in?


 No.310995

File: 20096cb735fc9e8⋯.png (204.91 KB, 272x499, 272:499, raccoonloli.png)

>>310849

Bear lolis would be neat. But a raccoon loli to be raised with love and care or turned into a cum dump would be better.

>>310851

>Damn that's a nice picture.

I also thought it was a good one.

Anyway, I'll either start Snuggles part 2 today since my goal was to finish her in about a week or do a couple misc crow-morph encounters. Little one off scenes like coming across a bunch of imps gang raping a loli crow to death. Another one could be a crow offers you sex then two other ones sneak up and hit you on the head with a tree branch or something.


 No.311003

>>310995

Pulling a fenoxo and making loli grow up instantly for no reason was gay


 No.311005

>>310995

>a bunch of imps gang raping a loli crow to death

We better be able to fight them off of her. That sounds awful. We need to be able to rape the loli crow to death OURSELVES.


 No.311010

>>311003

On the other hand you get eternal little girl chocobo, so it's not all terrible. But yeah, Raph should have stayed a little girl longer.


 No.311011

>>311003

I haven't seen the anime so I don't know how long it was there, but I think she stayed small for a bit in the light novel and manga. I would need to re-read the first volume to double check. Plus Filo is a better loli anyway and she stays that way for a long time.

>>311005

>We better be able to fight them off of her.

>We need to be able to rape the loli crow to death OURSELVES.

I don't know what else I was expecting. But I was already going to have that as an option, with mercy killing her, or just leaving.


 No.311014

>>311011

>For a long time

WHAT? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO HER?


 No.311017

File: 7cbbaec5bb40ded⋯.png (44.7 KB, 554x439, 554:439, SpqCZCv.png)

>>311014

Nothing yet. But i only read up to a certain point in the manga before dropping it in the light novel. Don't remember the exact chapter number; they were on an island for a bit? I wouldn't doubt that they'll age her up, in the later chapters.

But to get this back on topic for CoC; fluffy feral monster birbs that can be raised, ridden, eaten, or just fucked. They can be put in the plains. PC then builds a corral for them and his hundreds of alices. I would say cross breed them too but that'd just make shitty imps.


 No.311021

>>311017

>fluffy feral monster birbs

We don't even have dogs or wolves (one of the most essential basics for fucking our alices) and you want monster birbs already? One step at a time I think.


 No.311023

>>311017

Considering Fitoria is still Loli-mode despite being a t-rex-sized chocobo, I don't think anything's going to happen to Firo.


 No.311025

>>310995

>>311011

what’s with your shift to killing, raping to death, or even raping the dead lately?

it’s… acceptable, when there’s little of it, but why is almost all you’ve written after deleting your previous things focussed on that?

did it hit you that hard when you deleted everything?

furthermore, why not specifically ask proofreaders to look through the first snuggles part? i’m almost sure they never bother because you write so much so quickly that it’s guaranteed to have the same mistakes through every paste, even more so when you crank out part after part.

i don’t want to see you further follow into the footsteps of eslanon.


 No.311032

>>311025

2hu anon always gave you the option to kill the wifus he makes


 No.311039

File: efb514b3c636511⋯.jpg (27.85 KB, 500x564, 125:141, 6jXgwPw.jpg)

>>311021

You're not wrong, but you gotta dream big anon. Plus big fluffy monster birbs > dogs. However, I guess because alices are afraid of big animals it'd be best to start small, get them foxes, then slowly raise the stakes with bigger and bigger creatures. And whenever you introduce a new animal into the ecosystem of the corral you gotta help your alices adjust by head patting them.

>>311023

You're probably right.

>>311025

>what’s with your shift to killing, raping to death, or even raping the dead lately?

Well I always gave the player the option to murder characters I tried to make or never interact with them again in the cases they don't want to be a murderer. I also only wrote that one corpse fucking scene, though, I did write the pc eye fucking a zombie enemy before, but eh? While i'm writing the pc raping the dying crow loli I'm hoping it'll end up making people feel guilty for doing bad shit, much like how I tried to with Snuggles's kill scene. I feel it's important to have some dark scenes since this is an rpg, the player should be able to decide for themselves on being an evil monster, or not. Maybe you'll save her and mercy kill her? Maybe you'll just leave and let the imps keep fucking her. It's the player's choice. Maybe if people really wanted it, take her back to camp and nurse her back to health.

Snuggles is also full of (what i think is) wholesome content that i hope some people will like. Like patting her head and hugging her. I feel that I wrote her consensual first time sex scene and her confession to feel sweet. (Maybe not the female bits, but I generally dislike yuri content.) I agree that my work has mistakes in it, I have tried to fix what I could, but I hope the proof readers will go through my stuff since i appreciate when they do. It's one reason i'm deciding to write some misc crow stuff instead of just moving right onto her part 2 like I was going to. Hopefully they'll take the time to read through it a little if they don't mind.

Sorry about the big post.


 No.311042

>>311039

>Maybe if people really wanted it, take her back to camp and nurse her back to health.

Oh fucking yes please.


 No.311046

>>310612

what happens to the sex scenes of other characters where Urta appears? non-existent too?


 No.311047

>>310995

>But a raccoon loli raised with care into a loving cum dump would be better.

fixed that for you


 No.311054

File: 2a7b1aa2f84df65⋯.png (365.14 KB, 700x859, 700:859, 7145265_p0.png)

File: bb7cffbbf1b9b43⋯.png (145.03 KB, 300x399, 100:133, 22619399_p0.png)

File: 578d29400461685⋯.jpg (323.38 KB, 755x1200, 151:240, 26545510_p0.jpg)

File: 6741a8c41584ef7⋯.png (1.06 MB, 1000x878, 500:439, f56793f5d3b7f6157bceb11d2d….png)

As I forgot/was busy during the weekend, let's make up for it now: First request I get, I write

Usual rules apply. As it's the first of this thread, I'll go over the rules once again.

• Single one-off scene only. Cannot require new content or follow-up.

• Must fit the game. This applies both in type of content and whether it fits the character/creature.

• I will write immediately, and honestly try, but quality is never guaranteed.

This tends to take between 1 and 2 hours.

>>310995

Bear loli is okay, raccoon is okay, but they're boring.

Better are demonic experiment lolis and other ones with strange anatomy. I wonder what ones I could put in the next dungeon.

>>311046

A lot of editing was done by several people to remove Urta's involvement in those scenes.


 No.311056

>>311054

>First request I get, I write

Lesbian scene for Sophie


 No.311057

>>311054

>Experimental lolis

Well what are you waiting for bonrewd? Chop chop!


 No.311059

>>311056

Once again, dumb idea. Where would you even put it?


 No.311060

>>311054

Fuckdraft Alice mating press+kiss


 No.311061

>>311054

loli kitsune gang!


 No.311066

File: d9ffcbd1a260ea3⋯.png (12.1 KB, 255x190, 51:38, 4f8b4ec71c7834.png)

>>311042

Say no more brother. After Snuggles and Smiles then i'll write you taking the broken crow girl home.Though is having three of the same species in the pcs camp a good idea?

>>311047

I suppose that works too.

>>311054

I think it depends on how they're written that determines if a character is boring or not.

I am digging the one with all those eyes and the one with no arms.


 No.311067

>>311061

The original author will return (i hope)


 No.311068

>>311066

>Though is having three of the same species in the pcs camp a good idea?

Well the camp's already more of a village than an actual camp anyway. Might as well own it for what it is.


 No.311070

File: a9082b69ff745c9⋯.png (354.12 KB, 905x860, 181:172, 52445140_p0.png)

File: 76869d8050fff5f⋯.jpg (414.17 KB, 1200x1009, 1200:1009, 65984450_p3.jpg)

File: 714f974c41e24ae⋯.jpg (363.37 KB, 575x800, 23:32, 22728033_p0.jpg)

File: 77d8a430070c9dd⋯.jpg (370.19 KB, 1276x1077, 1276:1077, 66922659_p0.jpg)

File: ad702ccc02ffadd⋯.jpg (591.83 KB, 784x1290, 392:645, 49725931_p0.jpg)

>>311056

Isn't she heterosexual? She doesn't even love you, she just becomes a follower because your dick can give her offspring. Pre-follower, when she's combatable, you can still rape her as a female, can't you?

>>311057

Literally the best anime I've seen since Cowboy Bebop. Should read the manga at some point

>>311060

Why fuckdraft? Alright, though, I suppose.

>>311066

>depends on how they're written

I speak of aesthetically interesting. I am a big fan of creature art


 No.311073

>>311070

>Isn't she heterosexual?

Even to female characters she'll flirt with and call cute at camp. She's only interested in the PC as a potential breeding partner but she certainly shows no distaste if they temporarily lose their penis. Really nothing to indicate she's heterosexual, only that she's only interested in potential breeding partners. And if she's in the player's camp she sees the player as that if they have a penis or not.


 No.311076

>>311054

What about scene where you help with cleaning books in the tower?


 No.311078

>>311073

>she'll flirt with and call cute at camp

But you have to have a dick to get her to camp in the first place. Anyone with half a brain would understand that this is an unintended interaction the results from Fen not wanting to account for people who switch their genitals, which is somewhat understandable.


 No.311079

>>311076

>Remembered that some furry bastards fucked inside the library (Most likely urta instigated it)

I AM MAD


 No.311082

>>311078

I'm not really buying this argument. She'll be with a futa character with maximum femininity just perfectly fine but then if they lose the penis and nothing else changes she suddenly loses all attraction? Is that really your argument? I think it's way way more reasonable that nobody ever gave a shit to write an exclusively female scene and that's it. Because it's very fucking reasonable for someone in her position to think "I want to use this person to breed. They are also a good fuck. They had a penis before but do not currently have one. I'll stick around because it seems likely they'll have one at some point in the future as well. And they seem like one of the safest people to breed with, live with, and raise my daughters around."

She's attracted to people that look like women and you're arguing that she wouldn't even let a female character go down on her with no reciprocation simply because they lack a penis. That's fucking retarded.


 No.311084

>>311082

>She'll be with a futa character with maximum femininity just perfectly fine but then if they lose the penis and nothing else changes she suddenly loses all attraction? Is that really your argument?

Yeah? She likes dicks, I'd thought you'd understand that given what a massive fucking faggot you are. Whether or you have a dick is literally the sole thing about you that matters to her—she doesn't fall in love with you, she doesn't like your personality, I'm not sure she even cares about your appearance (although that's generally avoided in this game). Harpies are very explicitly breeding-focused, and I'm honestly confused how you aren't getting this.

> I think it's way way more reasonable that nobody ever gave a shit to write an exclusively female scene and that's it.

Why would someone waste their time on a scene that's both inconsistent with her character and requires the player to jump through a bunch of hoops to even access?

>They had a penis before but do not currently have one.

If I was dating a girl and she suddenly ditched her vag, I might look for a different partner. People are interested in specific sexual organs, this is nothing new.

>She's attracted to people that look like women

A) I like tomboys, women who have traditionally masculine characteristics, and B) you haven't established that she's actually into the feminine look rather than just putting up with it for your dick.

>you're arguing that she wouldn't even let a female character go down on her with no reciprocation simply because they lack a penis.

How many 100% straight women would want to get eaten out by a woman? How many lesbians would be fine with getting eaten out by a man? Your perception of the person involved in a sex act is just as important as the actual mechanics of it.

Your argument for why she might stick around is sound, so I'm not suggesting that she abandon champions who lose their dick, but there's no justification for her wanting to fuck them.


 No.311093

>Still can't learn blackfire in the tower

I get that it's terrible addition to game but it's still learnable from black books

It probably should be learnable in there


 No.311132

File: a989e191a3b3bf7⋯.png (36.56 KB, 227x276, 227:276, Satan Contemporary.png)

>>311060

Alice Mating Press

https://pastebin.com/tMweSR10

>>311076

Too late to get in your request, but that sounds like it might be a nice little addition. I'll have to look up and read the tel'adre tower scenes at some point and maybe I'll write it then. Maybe.

>>311093

Don't worry, I'll just remove it from the black books.


 No.311135

>>311132

Just perfect


 No.311136

>>311132

Damn thats good.

One thing tho

>groping her thighs and butt to keep her place and enjoy the feel,

perhaps you meant keep her in place and enjoy the feeling


 No.311144

>>311046

>what happens to the sex scenes of other characters where Urta appears? non-existent too?

The Lottie walk scene has Urta replaced with a random drunken vagrant (as opposed to a named drunken vagrant). All other scenes are just disabled; none are necessary for anything outside of Urta content.

>>311054

>A lot of editing was done by several people to remove Urta's involvement in those scenes.

I think it was just one anon doing that, and Urta isn't entirely removed from the scenes, they just give you the option to not directly involve her. It's more about spiting Urta than removing Urta. None of them have been implemented yet due to quality issues.


 No.311145

File: 4743669fdce80e8⋯.jpg (345.77 KB, 1080x676, 270:169, 850ad93ca842f89cc3d3554c7f….jpg)

>>311132

I think by mating press+kiss he meant something like pic related. Either way passage is still good.


 No.311147

>>311132

>Don't worry, I'll just remove it from the black books.

That's a nice compromise

Thanks


 No.311150

>>311144

>I think it was just one anon doing that

I'm pretty sure Koraeli did some of it. I admit I could be wrong, but if Korrie did, then that constitutes several.

>>311136

>perhaps you meant keep her in place and enjoy the feeling

Not necessarily, but I change it regardless. Also did a brief once-over and fixed a few other mistakes.

The feel being the feel of her softness. There is a tactile satisfaction involved with groping things, especially butts and thighs.

>>311145

I actually forgot the kiss part entirely and the fact there's a kiss at the end is just coincidence.


 No.311151

>>310816

The platform is absolute cancer but it's not a faggot community thing, it's not in the OP for a reason. It's for the people who work on this to communicate and work together as a side platform to the threads. I highly suggest you make a throwaway and at least look into it to benefit your writing.


 No.311169

File: 3530c7009f8884e⋯.jpg (8.08 KB, 150x150, 1:1, a59e.jpg)

Added the imps raping the loli crow. I'm a little torn on her appearance, was thinking of making her an albino? That'll probably be changed, since I don't have any good albino crow girl images. I think its okay so far, but it isn't that long. Taking her home and caring for her would be the main path so, I think it's okay that it's a little shortish?

https://pastebin.com/6HH3y8j8 - Sunny is in there too, so just use the find feature and put PC finds loli crow

Might expand the rape scene to let the pc keep going after she dies, but for now they stop. I also definitely would like feedback on Snuggles before jumping to her second part, for now, i'll take a break until something of mine gets proofread (they're probably busy though).

>>311068

Well, as they always say, the more waifus the better.

>>311070

>I speak of aesthetically interesting.

Not my preferred cup of tea, but I can see the appeal of some weird outlandish designs.


 No.311179

>>311169

2hu anon this is text game


 No.311187

New Xianxia version

https://github.com/Ormael7/Corruption-of-Champions/releases/tag/0.8.26

A new zone, some enemies and some new TFs, also some miscellaneous stuff from what I see in changelog


 No.311191

>>311179

>2hu anon this is text game

NANI!?

Jokes aside, the real reason i'm thinking of changing it is that i think it's just kind of weird? It isn't like being an albino is intricate to her character. Also she's a crow, so the lack of black wings is odd.

Maybe it could be why her parents aren't around? Maybe they were going to sell her because of her looks so she ran away, and got raped by imps anyway? but that's just something i threw together on the spot as I type this. I suppose there's probably a fetish for alibinoism(?) eh fuck it, it can stay as it is.


 No.311194

File: d2a28fbcdbde97c⋯.jpeg (1004.03 KB, 1918x2846, 959:1423, 6ad513abf5acdf4a268232b17….jpeg)

>>311191

Albinism is a kink, and I think it can look beautiful even when done realistically. That said, I find it off-putting when it isn't really vital to that character. It was either crows or ravens who forsake albinos and leave them on their own, and also a matter worth note is that albino humans are very sensitive to sunlight and often have bad eyesight.

If you write a character that is albino, do a bunch of research and work it into who she is both in how it affects crows and how it affects humans. I think that would make for a much more compelling character, and mitigate the feeling that she's albino purely for the exotic look and fetish appeasement. I considered going to such lengths for something in the next dungeon, though may elect not to. Still in the early outlining phase of that, so you'd be fine making an albino and I'll not bother.

If you don't feel like doing the research, I say you shouldn't make her albino. You may not like researching before writing something, and would rather people explain what you did wrong after the fact, but there's a first for everything.


 No.311195

>>310870

Are you using an image pack, and if so which one?


 No.311196

>>311169

For someone who claims not to like gore, you sure are eager to write it. I might recommend not focusing so much on guro scenes, as if you don't get their appeal, you probably won't be able to make them appealing.


 No.311205

>>311194

There's no reason there can't be multiple albino characters, though it's a rare genetic condition so statistically i suppose it isn't a good idea to have a lot of them. But demons put chemicals into the water to make futa sharks and shit so who knows what genetic abnormalities can occur. Actually just remembered, Arian's an albino too isn't he? Might be wrong on that, I need to reunlock the city in my current save or i'd check.

>a matter worth note is that albino humans are very sensitive to sunlight and often have bad eyesight.

Yeah, I read a little thing on albinism when I thought about making her that way. Whether or not the info is accurate, eh? I used mayoclinic.org for research projects in the past, so i think it should be reliable enough.

I was going to do something like maybe if the player left her outside she'd get badly sun burnt, maybe go blind (temporarily at least). PC leaving her in the cabin/tent while she recovers makes that less of an issue, i'd think.

>It was either crows or ravens who forsake albinos and leave them on their own

Would a morph follow the same rules there animal version follows though? I think her parents just trying to sell her once she's old enough would be fine, gotta make gems somehow. Maybe making it so her parents sold her as baby would be better, have her be an abused run away slave, drop the idea her wing was ripped off by the imps and make it so her owner did it a long time ago.

>>311196

I don't think the crow loli is very gore heavy. Not like i'm writing you fucking the hole where her wing used to be..


 No.311232

>>311205

>There's no reason there can't be multiple albino characters, though it's a rare genetic condition so statistically i suppose it isn't a good idea to have a lot of them

Maybe this just says a lot about me, but my first thought to pale skin and red eyes is anime, not albino.

>Arian's an albino too isn't he?

He even uses the term itself and I wouldn't have known without checking the code.


 No.311246

File: 9a786cfe88ff888⋯.jpg (20.15 KB, 600x333, 200:111, download.jpg)

>>311232

>but my first thought to pale skin and red eyes is anime, not albino.

It's a nice color scheme and I think it stands out a bit. So, I imagine its used a lot because of that? Fun fact, apparently albino eyes aren't actually always pinkish like I thought. They can vary from light-blue to brown, possibly changing with age. "The lack of pigment in the colored part of the eyes (irises) makes the irises somewhat translucent. This means that the irises can't completely block light from entering the eye. Because of this, very light-colored eyes may appear red in some lighting." While i knew it had to do with pigmentation I didn't know it had to do with light, so I thought that was neat.

Anyway, I'm going to just change the broken loli birb to a normal crow, no reason not to. She doesn't need to be an albino, the appeal of the character would be that you're taking care of something weak and fragile, her life is yours to save or end by your whim alone. Do things pat her head, keep her fed (though food items look mostly unavailable outside of hardcore mode. at least I don't see biscuits and trail mix anywhere, so I guess you'd just make her chug 100s of scholars tea?), cuddle with her at night, buy her cute clothes and dress her up how you want, give her light jobs to do around your camp, etc. I guess corrupt people could just abuse and molest her until she's stockholmed into loving you. Still need to think of a good name for her too.


 No.311247

>>311205

Well your kill scenes tend to be abrupt, comical, and a bit edgy, which isn't exactly what I'm looking for in guro, but I suppose others may feel differently. I'll read the scene in question and edit as I go.

>Her expression is blank and only pathetic noises escape her mouth in response to your groping of her flat chest

comma after "blank" (too lazy to do spoilers this time)

>Tears begin to slowly flow from the corners of her pink eyes,

repetition of "pink" and a comma splice

>Well, it's no concern to you how she feels, you just want to have a little bit of fun.

Then why are you fingering her?

>Easily, you're able to jam two fingers into her slit,

Move that "easily" to after "you're" or "to" (fags may whine about split infinitives, but they're fine), and there's a comma splice at the end.

>the imp must've stretched her out pretty good cause you're actually able

It should be "because," and you should add a comma before it.

>While her insides happily tighten around intruding digits

Add a "your" after "around," and "happily" doesn't really fit the scene.

>until she squeezes down so hard you can't move them.

She's just been through the most traumatic experience of her life, and she's almost dead, but you're able to get her to come in two sentences of fingering?

>Her breathing seems to have stop

ped

>and that climax must've stressed what little life she was still barely clinging to.

"Stressed" makes no sense here, and "and" feels like the wrong thing to use to link these. Maybe replace the ", and" with an em dash?

>Her sticky fluids splatter her body and you get up, simply leaving the corpse to rot.

What's causing this sudden splatter? Add a comma after "body."

You labelled this scene as "rape," but you just diddle her a bit, so you might want to specify that in the tooltip at least. It does seem odd that you'd want to make sure to finger her before doing anything else. Overall, I didn't find it extremely titillating. The early part about her discomfort was nice, but the whole second paragraph didn't feel like a particularly good rape scene, let alone a good snuff scene.

And sorry for not editing your stuff more, but I wrote ~200 words up there about a ~250 word scene, and you pump out thousands. I'm doing a lot of different things right now, but I'll try to get those Amily scenes fully edited before I finish with the moth, and then those should be able to get into the game.


 No.311271

File: 1f6aaf9ee2620cb⋯.jpg (172.92 KB, 850x1275, 2:3, drawn_by_bosshi__sample-6e….jpg)

>>311247

>Then why are you fingering her?

If her puss isn't wet then it wouldn't feel good for you either, at least I assumed.

>but you're able to get her to come in two sentences of fingering?

You're just that good? but you're right. It's too short.

>What's causing this sudden splatter?

vaginal fluids was my thought, previous sentence was "You pull your fingers from her insides and shake them clean." admittedly, it wasn't clear even with that prior sentence.

>your kill scenes tend to be abrupt, comical, and a bit edgy,

I thought they were sad, maybe abrupt and edgy, but still a little sad. But if they're coming out comical, that's pretty bad. Though, CoC was never packed with kill scenes. A lot of them are really short or comical.

>The early part about her discomfort was nice, but the whole second paragraph didn't feel like a particularly good rape scene, let alone a good snuff scene.

I'll take another quick crack at it, if it's not good, it's not good. It sounds like your saying the first paragraph is okayish; the other two aren't.

>And sorry for not editing your stuff more, but I wrote ~200 words up there about a ~250 word scene, and you pump out thousands.

You don't need to apologize. I should apologize for making so many mistakes that need to be proofread in the first place. When you get to it, you get to it. As always, thanks for checking my work and here's your shimakaze.


 No.311276

>>311187

What is Xianxia?


 No.311280

>>311169

Snuggles, help through take it

>The girl lets out a shriek and she falls onto her rear

Either comma after shriek or remove she.

>She swiftly she

Remove one of the she

>sharp, but deadly

This doesn't really work because being sharp is why it's deadly, not despite it. For that construction you'd want a negative feature about it, something like "short" or "rusted" or "improvised".

>The winged girl points the weapon at you and her hand is shaking while she nervously demands

Comma after you

>It looked like she was having trouble and you thought she could use some help.

Comma after trouble

>Her expression softens at your explanation and she slowly gets up

Comma after explanation

>her white shirt that is missing its top button hangs off her frame

Commas around "that is… button" as it's not essential to identify the shirt. Unless she's wearing multiple, then carry on I suppose.

>soft pink nipples

Comma after soft if you mean them to be soft and pink, as opposed to a soft pink color.

>It's good to know that I was right and at least something here

something was here

>I collect quiet a bit of stuff

quite

In regards to your blood-lust, I'd suggest moving the option to kill her during the first encounter. Help her, find loot, murder her to have everything for yourself. More selfish and greedy than completely deranged like a lot of them, but I'm not really the audience for these so take that as you will.

>>311247

>What's causing this sudden splatter?

Intended to be spatter, I would assume.


 No.311283

>>311271

>If her puss isn't wet then it wouldn't feel good for you either, at least I assumed.

While being too dry can cause the friction to become painful, you don't need to make her come. And if you're worrying about realism, why do you have her orgasm at all, given how difficult that would most likely be under the circumstances?

>vaginal fluids was my thought

How wet is she that it splatters all over the place from you taking your fingers out?

>I thought they were sad, maybe abrupt and edgy, but still a little sad.

I haven't read the more recent ones for any of your named characters (only the generic enemies and original Fran), but they often jumped straight into absurd hyperviolence with little buildup, which ends up being comical.

>It sounds like your saying the first paragraph is okayish; the other two aren't.

Yes. If you really want to do this type of scene, I'd recommend focusing on her discomfort/despair, but if you don't really feel up to it, that's okay, as forcing yourself to write for a fetish you don't get probably isn't a good idea.

>>311276

Garbage, don't even know why he brought it up.

>>311280

>Comma after soft if you mean them to be soft and pink, as opposed to a soft pink color.

They're not coordinate (fairly sure, as "pink, soft nipples" and "soft and pink nipples" both sound bad to me), so this isn't necessary.

>Intended to be spatter

Is there really much of a difference?


 No.311307

File: dd084e652379825⋯.jpg (9.72 KB, 189x267, 63:89, shimakazekaze.jpg)

>>311280

Thanks for checking through her.

>Help her, find loot, murder her to have everything for yourself. More selfish and greedy than completely deranged

That's not a bad idea, before she grabs the pouch the pc snaps her neck or something. No reason to not have another opportunity to allow the player to kill her at the very least. Though murdering someone over 20 gems seems far more deranged to me then just doing it on a whim. 20 gems only buys you what? One biscuit and scholars tea. A round at the gym.

I fixed this all up, i'll update the pastebin in the morning.

As thanks, here's your shimakaze.

>>311283

>How wet is she that it splatters all over the place from you taking your fingers out?

it splatters after shaking your fingers clean and I assumed she'd be rather wet after orgasming. Though, realistically, she should already be wet anyway if the imps were fucking her.

>I'd recommend focusing on her discomfort/despair

Yeah, I thought that might be the way to go with that. I'll try it again in the morning. Do the pc face fucking/sitting her or something since her puss is dirty used goods.

>her small breasts that are tipped with soft pink nipples

Should I just drop soft? I don't think I should've put two adjectives there anyway so that's what i did.


 No.311308

File: b411b96cf510994⋯.png (217.15 KB, 505x439, 505:439, Adoring_Moth.PNG)

One last thing: https://pastebin.com/hQc2iWgy

I was feeling unsure about exactly how to handle the trigger for the capstone scenes, but I settled on an additional talk option which you repeat three times. Should probably go back and add variations for each time. This was written while fever-addled, so my apologies for any dips in quality.

As for a coding progress report, I've done all of Sylvia's stuff (except for this) and have started on Dolores.


 No.311310

>>311307

>As thanks, here's your shimakaze.

Hey, I thought those were for me. Don't feel obliged to keep posting them, though, it was more of a passing joke (though I do appreciate your generosity).

>and I assumed she'd be rather wet after orgasming.

Enough that there's a splatter when you remove your fingers? That's a whole lot of juice, man.

>Should I just drop soft? I don't think I should've put two adjectives there anyway so that's what i did.

You don't have to if you don't want to, and you can also add the comma if you like it, I was just saying you don't need to.


 No.311315

Short (as in maybe twenty words) adjustment to the new Ifris scene to account for dickless champions: https://pastebin.com/fmiU040j

Currently, you're forced to reject her, and she's shocked you didn't want her offer that you couldn't even take in the first place.


 No.311321

What happened to the Chilly Smith?


 No.311340

>>311315

Added that. And do you want to start a total?

>>311321

I did, my apologies. It's been fixed.


 No.311346

>>311307

Snuggles visits and rape, minus the killing as you're reworking them

>The sound of you entering the room catches her attention and instantly, she turns to face you with a smile.

Comma after attention

>A gentle smile spreads across her face and softly says

, and she softly says

>You ask her why and while still smiling, she simply tells you

Comma after why

>You get her attention and she gives you a surprised look while stuttering out her words

Comma after attention

>she her stutters out her

Extra her

>While staring at Snuggles you begin to eye up her slender body

Comma after Snuggles

>like hungry predator

Missing a

>buttoned up shirt

buttoned-up

>You stab the knife downward towards her face and she screams in terror

Comma after face

>Now that she completely naked you can truly appraise your prize

Comma after naked and there's a missing "is"

>delicious looking

delicious-looking

>alright

Looks like there's precedent for using this in narration, but I'm still judging you.

>You start by leisurely messaging the warm opening between her legs which makes her shriek and shamefully turn her head away.

Comma after legs

>Her eyes are still tightly shut, maybe she's trying to pretend this isn't happening.

Comma splice

>slick with plenty love juice

Missing word

>Her hole begins to lewdly squish and Snuggles whimpers in what must be shame at the perverse noises her body is letting out.

Comma after squish

>her eyes shoot wide

This needs an "open" somewhere, right?

>your digits

You only used one finger in the previous sentence.

>Maybe you're a bit of a sadist

There's actually a perk for that, if you care.

>Her sticky blood coats your fingers and mixes with her love juices, allowing your digits to dexterously maneuver in and out her clenching confines.

Does sticky blood coating your fingers really lend itself to dexterous maneuvers?

>Despite her sobbing, an occasional moan begins to escape her lips which you teasingly mock her over.

Comma after lips

>Teasing her most precious spot to get her to admit her desires.

This is a sentence fragment, if you weren't doing it intentionally.

>Her body jiggles in undeniable enjoyment of the act, but the girl violently shakes her head 'no' in denial.

undeniable and denial

>is enough to evidence of course

Remove to

>Her body shakes like a leaf and her sobbing is loud enough

Comma after leaf

>Your [cock] is just too big to completely fit into her body and you end up savagely battering

Comma after body

>to push against chest

Missing word

>the tip of spear

Missing word

>spongey

spongy

>pained whimper that is a mix of both pain and pleasure

Two pains

>lets out a cry that is a mixed pain and delight

Extra 'a'

>pullout

Two words

>begging for you seed

your

>Her arms are tightly wrapped around you while she sobs but moans lustfully into your ear

, but even that isn't enough to stop her lustful moans. Or something else, the current phrasing is odd. Technical term, I know.

>She must've felt your manhood quivering inside her and she says

Comma after her

>you swear your dick is going to be crushed

Is that supposed to be a good thing?

>you ram yourself her as deep

Missing word

>cum dripping

cum-dripping

>just quietly lies there in silence. The sound of her tired panting filling the room.

That isn't silence. Also 'fills'

>It's likely she won't come back her to see you ever again

back here


 No.311350

https://pastebin.com/raw/HFzD6AgS

Helspawn facesitting. Critique away folks.


 No.311367

>>311308

Who’s Dolores? The new harpie?


 No.311417

>>311310

I'll just keep all my shimakazes for myself then.

There are girls that can get that wet. It only splatters on her after you shake them clean. I didn't think (most) players would want to lick them clean after an imp dick was in there.

Too late. rules of nature. Its already been dropped.

>>311346

>There's actually a perk for that, if you care.

This work?: 'Maybe you're a bit of a sadist, [if sadist perk: actually, you know you are,] because her screams of pain and tears of loss over her maidenhead make you shiver in heavenly delight.'

>Does sticky blood coating your fingers really lend itself to dexterous maneuvers?

The idea was it was lubing your fingers, changed it a bit to make more sense: 'Her sticky blood coats your fingers and mixes with her love juices, lubing up your digits so they can dexterously slip in and out her clenching confines.'

>Is that supposed to be a good thing?

I think her squeezing down really tight is good, yes. But Is this better?: 'The girl's pussy squeezes you so much, that you can't help but groan at the incredibly pleasant sensation, her body convulsing with what must be her orgasm.'

>minus the killing as you're reworking them

I wasn't really going to rework her current ones. I was just going to add another opportunity for killing her to the first meeting. I'll still touch them up I suppose, try to make them feel less abrupt.


 No.311439

>>311350

>no oddly cute pantsu to contrast her personality

suffering.

Otherwise

>she finishes pulling off her torso, tossing it to the side

The mental image of this alone.


 No.311440

>>311417

>'Maybe you're a bit of a sadist, [if sadist perk: actually, you know you are,]

In addition to the fact that basing character things on perks which players (rightfully) view as purely mechanical (there are very few roleplay checks for them) is a bad idea, that's also a bit awkward.

>>311367

What? No.


 No.311441

>>311417

>I'll just keep all my shimakazes for myself then.

oof


 No.311444

>>311439

>The mental image of this alone.

Okay then, changed that to pulling it off OF her torso. I think that works a lot better.


 No.311445

>>311444

Well there goes my limbs only reverse dullahan fetish.


 No.311452

>>311440

Alright, i'll drop the sadist perk check real quick. The rest should be fine, right? I also added the option to kill her on the first encounter now too, and slightly touched up her already existing murder scenes.

Now i'll work on redoing the rape scene for the loli birb.

>>311441

If the people don't want kazes, then the only thing to do is keep them for myself.


 No.311453

>>311350

>.Returning the gaze, she places her hands

You're missing a space at the start, and "gaze" doesn't quite work here.

>Leaning [if player height is under 6' {up} else {in}] before delivering a small kiss to her nose, she

Misplaced modifier, and the first three sentences all have the exact same structure, which can get repetitive

>one of your [hands]

There's no reason to use the parser every time, and you just used this one.

>Returning the grip, you hold hands

That "you" is plural, but only you are "returning" anything. Also, "returning the grip" is awkward.

>and leisurely stroll to your [if cabin then {cabin} else {tent}] and enter to a more private setting

Get rid of one of the "and"s and make it a proper list.

>deliver loving kiss to her lips

a

>you pull it upward and she finishes

comma after "upward"

>" [helspawn]

Capitalize the first letter of parsers when they're at the beginning of a sentence. It's less of a big deal when it's for something like this that'll be capitalized already 95% of the time, but it's still the right thing to do.

>[skinfurscales]

While this isn't exactly wrong for this situation, I just want to make sure you know what the various skin parsers do.

>Like what you see, [daddy]?

Isn't this chaste helspawn?

>as she slowly and teasingly begins to slide her skirt down

Doesn't really seem to fit her character to give you a striptease.

>revealing her glistening pussy to you

Repetition of "reveal her X to you"

>you step to her and deliver a kiss

You need a "her" after "deliver," but that makes the sentence a bit awkward.

>the foot of your [if cabin then {bed} else {bedroll}]

This doesn't make sense with bedroll.

>pulls you on top of her.

>Crawling on top of her

Which is it?

>you slide your body forward against her

What does this mean?

>Oh, [daddy], I love the view but come on and give me a taste already!

You can write the scene for slutty helspawn if you want to, you know. Also, comma after "view."

>any need to be told

I recommend "needing" instead of "any need"

>as you coat her face your wetness

Add a "with" after "face," and you might consider a check for dry champions.

>oversized erect clit

comma between the adjectives

>only for her to pop it into her mouth.

"Only for her" doesn't work here, as the second thing isn't really opposed to the rubbing.

>Arching your back, pleasure builds and you grind faster and harder

Misplaced modifier ("arching"), and there should be a comma after "builds."

>Forcing much of your body's weight down on your daughter, she

Dangling participle

>[clit]

You shouldn't use the same parser more than once per paragraph (the more complex ones like [cock] can get around this a little, but definitely not this one).

>you arch your back and grind against her mouth and rub your [clit] against her nose.

Remove the first "and" and make it a proper list. Also, same note about [clit].

>As your pleasure builds you grind faster and faster

comma after "builds"

> works insides

-s

>pushes her face forward against you to rub at your erect clitoris using her nose

I recommend removing one of the prepositional phrases for flow.

>encouraging you to let out a series of pleasured sounds and a gush of your feminine fluid flooding onto her face

"Let out[…]a gush of your feminine fluid flooding onto her face" is pretty awkward here.

>with slow thrusts at her face

Repetition of "her face," and "at" isn't the best here.

>you praise her for her work and lay next to her on your back

I recommend changing the second half to "lie down next to her." "Lay" would be technically incorrect regardless of the context, but here, you specifically need the "down" as well.

>Mmm, [dad], you're tasty. But I think I want to see what you think about me next.

Once again, the dialogue doesn't seem to fit her at all.

>Without waiting for response

a

>positions herself in the same way you were to her only a few moments ago.

"You were to her" doesn't work.

Those two huge paragraphs are way too big, so I recommend splitting them up somewhere. Overall, your writing often feels a bit stilted, with various clauses and phrases not really flowing into each other.


 No.311457

>>311452

instead of writing all this weird, almost comically out of place killing, you know you can just have the player cut ties instead of arteries, right?

you don't have to make everything be killable and fuckable to death, just tell them you don't want to see them again and you're good.

that also alleviates you from writing something you say you're not even into but still do a whole lot of.


 No.311466

>>311457

I did write the player the option to just never show up at the home again after meeting her:

'//Never; roll new encounter;

You don't want to see Snuggles ever again and keep on walking in search of something else.' I should note that disables her.

I'm aware that not everyone would want to kill an npc to get rid of them, you can also leave the moment you see her, deciding not to help her at all. I still feel it's nice to have the options to kill her. Some people wanna be the noble knight, other wanna be murderers, sure the scenes aren't that great but at least i'm trying to accommodate a little. Its an RPG, so players should have a few choices on how to do things.


 No.311504

>>311308

>Where do you see yourself in a year?

I didn't expect a job interview. I recommend rewording that to not sound like one.

>—she clears her throat and regains her composure—

Is this really inserted into the middle? I see those as two independent sentences, so no need to do that.

>[say: You're going to be right here…] You feel yourself growing fainter. [say: …in this cave…] You don't even feel like yourself anymore. [say: …with me.]

It's amazing how I can't think of a single instance of a professional writer doing this, so I couldn't even tell you how that should be handled, but my educated guess is: not like this, as nice as it is on the eyes. Personally, I'd probably cut the ellipses and use em dash interjections, just to keep the lower cases. Or just use upper case. Or simply keep it like this, since nobody will care or even see it as a mistake anyway.

>you though you

thought

Good stuff, but definitely add variations. Without them, there is zero incentive to repeat that talk. Could be an opportunity for a quick and easy-to-follow spiral down insanity lane to reinforce the build-up needed for the capstone scene, especially for the dom route. But anyway, does this mark the end for what you had planned for Sylvia, or is there anything missing?


 No.311511

>>311453

Think I fixed most of the things https://pastebin.com/raw/HFzD6AgS

>misplaced modifier

I'm not sure what exactly you mean both times you mention that. How should I fix that?

>her personality

While I did change a lot of the dialogue (some of it for that reason, other bits because it was fucking terrible) I think you're focusing way too hard on the "chaste" bit. "Chaste" helspawn isn't a nun, she's just not slutty. I don't think giving a striptease or talking a bit dirty to her only romantic and sexual partner while in private is really out of character.

>huge paragraphs

While I did break them up do keep in mind one of them had a branching point in it. That said it was probably still too big and I did break it up anyway.


 No.311520

>>311504

>I didn't expect a job interview. I recommend rewording that to not sound like one.

I stared at that sentence for like an hour before settling on hoping no one would complain. I can't think of a way of doing this succinctly without reusing "future." "What do you think you'll be doing a year from now"?

>Personally, I'd probably cut the ellipses and use em dash interjections

But they're not really interruptions, as the intended effect is that she's pausing there, and I like how it makes it feel like you're fading in and out of the conversation (sharp interruptions would make it feel more jarring). While I am obviously a big proponent of following the rules, this is a case where what I'm doing is clear and understandable (I feel that way, at least), and there's nothing (to my knowledge) that explicitly prevents me from doing it.

>>311511

>I'm not sure what exactly you mean both times you mention that. How should I fix that?

These are similar to dangling participles (or other dangling modifiers, but they're usually participles), the only difference being that the noun you want the modifier to modify is actually in the sentence, just not in the right position to be modified. An example:

>Arching your back, pleasure builds and you grind faster and harder

Here, "arching" is modifying "pleasure," when you want it to be modifying "you." This is a little bit muddied, as technically you could say something like "pleasure arches your back" if you're trying to be a bit playful, but your current construction doesn't really work. In the other example:

>Leaning […] before delivering a small kiss to her nose, she

"Leaning" is modifying "she," but she's obviously not kissing her own nose, you are.

>I don't think giving a striptease or talking a bit dirty to her only romantic and sexual partner while in private is really out of character.

Stripteasing still seems a bit too far for me, but the new dialogue seems good.

I'll go over the second half in a bit.


 No.311536

I redid the loli birb's rape scene, it has m/f versions now, and it should be slightly better then what it was.

https://pastebin.com/6HH3y8j8


 No.311547

>>311504

>But anyway, does this mark the end for what you had planned for Sylvia, or is there anything missing?

Forgot to respond to this part. That's all I have planned before her release, but there are a few things I might do down the road, such as expanded stalking. Why, is there anything that feels lacking?


 No.311564

>>311520

>I can't think of a way of doing this succinctly without reusing "future." "What do you think you'll be doing a year from now"?

Yeah, something among those lines would be better, or "Where do you think you'll be, in a year's time?" and perhaps prefacing it with a "tell me", "well" or something like that. Anything to make it seem less like that dreaded, robotic question.

>But they're not really interruptions, as the intended effect is that she's pausing there,

Yes, but they are still syntax interruptions. You're interrupting her sentence with another.

>and there's nothing (to my knowledge) that explicitly prevents me from doing it.

Grammar does, doesn't it? What punctuation rule would ever allow you to interweave several sentences like that while keeping the capitalisation intact? Is there one? Because to me, it looks like you're starting sentences in lower case by completely disrespecting the periods or treating them like commas, here, so I'm fairly sure the correct way would be to start those fragments in upper case instead. They're called "full stops" for a reason, you can't just ignore them like you sometimes can a question or exclamation mark. But even if I'm right, I think we may overlook it in a children's furry porn game and go for the more aesthetic choice. I do wonder though what a professional editor would have to say about it, but I can't find any examples or tutorials on that, as it seems a surprisingly uncommon issue.

>>311547

Mere curiosity. I haven't reread her content as a single entity yet, but I think if there is anything that would need to be added, it's more likely to show when played through in-game.


 No.311568

>>311511

Next batch:

>you jokingly tell her that it seems like she's simply oozing with excitement.

I feel like you sometimes put too much personality into the champion in scenes where it isn't warranted, usually by having them be playful/teasing like this. Most of the time, dialogue that's only nominally indirect is a bad idea (such as puns, which couldn't be said any other way), as it removes the possibility of roleplaying and forces character traits onto the champion.

>Her large body applies a heavy force to you

Awkwardly worded

>you open your mouth

You use "your mouth" three sentences in a row.

>as her delightfully wet pussy grinding against your chin

grinds

>As your daughter

You use "as" three sentences in a row.

>feel an unexpected feeling

repetition

>. [helpsawn]

Once again, you should capitalize parsers at the beginning of sentences, and this one is misspelled.

>presses firmly against your genitals

Not a very sexy word.

>against your genitals and starts sliding forward and back against you, encouraging you to begin grinding against

Three "against"s in one sentence.

>against her tail and hump upwardly at it while she presses it down firmly against you while thrusting it against

This is the next sentence. Even if these weren't all so close together, you use this word too much.

>Moans from her grow louder and more frequent

This is awkward without an article at the start, but none of them really work.

>heat between your own legs steadily building up as well.

"the heat"

>Enraptured in ecstasy, it's not long

Misplaced modifier, and it should be "by ecstasy."

>in orgasming delight

"orgasmic"

>you dexterously manipulate her clit forcefully

Get rid of one of the adverbs, and "manipulate" doesn't seem very hot to me here.

>forcefully as she rides it out while grinding at her tail fast and forcefully

Ah, well I can tell you which one to get rid of.

>She rolls to her side

onto

>of the embrace

repetition

I'd recommend varying your sentence structure and word choice a bit more, and you often use too many adverbs/prepositions in single sentences. One thing I'd suggest is making use of a wider variety of conjunctions, both coordinating and subordinating. You use "and" ~50 times, but neither "but" nor "so" (as a conjunction) even once, and the vast majority of your dependent clauses are temporal ones (e.g., "as," "while," "until"). Weaving in words like "since" and "despite" (among many others) can both mix up your sentences and make them feel more connected, which would do a lot to make it flow better.


 No.311590

>>311564

>Anything to make it seem less like that dreaded, robotic question.

Going with "Do you have any idea what your life will be like a year from now?"

>They're called "full stops"

Only in Fake English.

But anyway, I think I'm keeping it. If English conventions don't provide a way for two sentences to be interwoven in the way I want, I'm happy to forge my own path.


 No.311605

File: 742bbe2f77f036d⋯.jpg (2.61 KB, 112x120, 14:15, uhhuhuhhuhuhhuh.jpg)

The lack of toddlercon disturbs me

the amount of unprotected sex going

the streets should be flooded with minors!

Chop chop boys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh18QLHYDN4


 No.311626

>>311605

>talks like a faggot

>posts family guy shit

>doesn't even know how to embed

You can fuck off right back where you came from.


 No.311670

>>311568

Alright I think I solved a lot of those problems. I also read the word "against" so many goddamn times that it doesn't sound like a word anymore. https://pastebin.com/raw/HFzD6AgS

>capitalize parsers at the beginning of sentences

Why should I with [helspawn]? It's never capitalized at the beginning of sentences in the code, why should it be when writing?

And I'll take a look at sentence structure later, I changed some of it now but it could still probably use at least some further improvement.


 No.311673


 No.311677

>>311670

>Why should I with [helspawn]? It's never capitalized at the beginning of sentences in the code, why should it be when writing?

Well they should have done it too, as I did in the helspawn scene I added. You can technically give her a lowercase name, which would look wrong being lowercase at the beginning of a sentence. It's an edge case, but there's no reason not to, and just getting into the practice of capitalizing parsers normally can help when it's something that isn't normally capitalized (e.g., [sir]). You probably don't have to go back and change them if you really don't want to.


 No.311690

>>311670

>Her soft, pale skin bared, you run your fingers up and down her soft body.

Two softs

>while simultaneously pressing a [hand] to her crotch, rubbing gently at [helspawn]'s stiffened clitoris

I'm not sure I want to know what this spits out for claws.

>up to a kneeling position

Nagas?

>firmly tp her mouth

to

>Letting out a moan to let her know

Two lets

>her with face your wetness.

her face with

> Waves of pleasure wash over you, encouraging you to let out a series of pleasured sounds

Two pleasures

>[helspawn]'s eyes light up at your response and she crawls up to the position that you were in only a few moments ago

Comma after response

>With her impressive size she puts down an impressive weight onto you

Two impressives

>you forcefully massage her clit as she rides it out while grinding at her tail fast and hard until you let out an involuntary cry yourself

This could use something to make it clear she's not grinding on her own tail.

>The two of you continue

Extra space


 No.311691

So, Sylvia is the first waifu to be added into the game since the dullahan, right?


 No.311692

>>311690

>Extra space

These are actually automatically handled by the parser, so they don't really matter.

>>311691

You're forgetting Telly and, everyone's favorite, the goblin sharpshooter.


 No.311695

File: a504dc5cd9f0f5a⋯.png (48.56 KB, 260x187, 260:187, my_dream.PNG)

Another one more thing: https://pastebin.com/hQc2iWgy

I made all three times you choose the "Spend Time" option different. The original ones are now the second time, and I hope the progression now feels natural. I've also added some small variations to her menu intro to make her seem more alive (search for "subsequent"). I'm fairly sure that this is the last thing I'll add to Sylvia herself before she's released (although I've obviously been wrong about that already). Might need to flesh out the third sub scene a little bit more.


 No.311703

>>311690

Think I fixed all those, thanks! https://pastebin.com/raw/HFzD6AgS


 No.311720

Is there any way to get the save editor to work with this version? I'm trying to progress with Nephilia content but the flags aren't labeled.


 No.311722

>>311720

Well go look at the flags in the source code then.


 No.311723

>>311722

I was hoping for something easier for a [anon-has-been-edging-while-drugged] like me to comprehend, but I can do that, I guess. Thanks.


 No.311724

>>311722

Any tip on where to start looking in the source for the raw data explanation? Inside CoCEd is just "needs specific cum" [0,1,7,0]


 No.311835

>>311695

>whirl around to the that the quiet moth

I think you accidentally something.

>You see Sylvia sitting at a table looking troubled

Shouldn't there be a comma before "looking", or is the table troubled?

>willingness to share it

them

>far off point

far-off

>watch her [] reach

][

>your most recent travails

Travail is either painful work or childbirth. While they both may be correct in the context, neither really fits.

>like a hungry lion

Why not "lioness".

>looming moth girl

moth-girl

>//If you didn't see above, this is the new dom intro

See what? I'm confused. Why are you telling her you couldn't stay away, even though you never left? Or did you? I'm confused.

>sit together a while

Can you skip the "for" in formal writing? I thought that was speech-only.

>But you're too dizzy, so you sit back down.

Feels like it could need a "suddenly" or "still":

>for the first time in a long time

Time repetition.

>//1 week skip, 6:00 am, in camp

Jesus, that's long. How are pregnancies going to be handled if they fire off during that time?

Nice, now it does feel like a proper build-up to the final scene, and everything connects as it should. The only thing I'm not sure about it whether people will think to press the Spend Time button more than once or not.


 No.311886

>>311835

>I think you accidentally something.

"See" and "the" rhyme, so, y'know.

>Shouldn't there be a comma before "looking", or is the table troubled?

Odd usage case where both the modifiers are following the noun they're modifying. My instinct is that the comma there is optional, but I'll add one, I guess.

>them

"Depth" is singular, but I suppose it makes more sense for her to share the plural things here.

>Travail is either painful work or childbirth.

Well I had that word completely wrong.

>See what? I'm confused.

It's the new first line for all the dom scenes. There was previously a shared line for all of them (which I suppose you may have missed on first reading), but I split it into dom/sub variations. May still change it further, but the intent is that you click next and the scene starts with the same line again. Is the memory fuckery not clear? I don't know how it comes across to those who haven't read the inspiration. And I'm trying to be vague about where exactly you are/whether you've left/what's happening, so a certain amount of confusion is good.

>Can you skip the "for" in formal writing? I thought that was speech-only.

To my mind, it's a bit antiquated and maybe a bit informal, but nowhere near enough to be disqualified for this type of writing (but google searches only return information about loops and "awhile"). Did it feel jarring to you?

>Feels like it could need a "suddenly" or "still":

I disagree, I like how brief and unadorned it is. It's supposed to be short and matter of fact, reflecting the simple state of mind you've been reduced to, and I think that short sentences can often deliver more punch. I don't know if I'm quite getting across what I mean here, but I'm pretty confident that this is what I want.

>Time repetition.

I feel like I see those two phrases together with reasonable frequency, and a quick google search confirms that this is a thing people say.

>How are pregnancies going to be handled if they fire off during that time?

Normally? Why would anything be different?

I couldn't quite get a read from your notes, so I'd like to ask if the third dom scene worked for you. Did you feel at all unsettled? I'd really like to nail the tone in this one so that it can carry over into the capstone.


 No.311931

File: 364fac743559288⋯.gif (1.93 MB, 540x304, 135:76, 1460362962345.gif)

>>311132

Implementation when?


 No.311960

>pee in the OP

i need to finish my vala pee drinking scene


 No.311962

>>311886

>Did it feel jarring to you?

It did, since that's what you'd use the adverb "awhile" for. "Sit together awhile" is perfectly fine, if perhaps a little out of date, but "Sit together a while" looks to me like you tried for the former, but mixed the two up. Same if you wrote "Sit together for awhile". As a noun, "a while" just needs that preposition to make sense, whereas the adverb cannot ever take one.

>Normally? Why would anything be different?

What if a birth happens on the second day, does it get resolved right away with a nice and jarring teleportation back to camp, or does that only happen after all has passed and you're back home again?

>I'd like to ask if the third dom scene worked for you

Repetitive essay time, it is.

In general, it did, but reading through again, the first revelation gives me pause, and my first conclusion when seeing that is that she has been kissing you for three days straight. That seems a tad excessive and likely incorrect. What makes me pause and reread is that there's practically no indication, not even a hint for any passage of time. That's fine for the player character, but I think the reader himself should get at least a little hint, and a huge part of what makes it odd to me is that Sylvia would seamlessly continue a conversation a whole three days later. If she herself acts as if no time has passed, then it sort of takes a lot of the impact and turns it into plain confusion, since you as the writer may say three days have gone by, but the image you cast doesn't properly reflect that. I'd be perfectly fine with accepting a couple of hours passing in drugged-out flight like this, but three days? It's too much for me to be easily believable without raising a brow and rereading the scene to see if I missed anything.

The "You tell the moth that you couldn't stay away" still confuses the hell out of me. Maybe I'm just slow, but what does this do, exactly? The more I look at it, the less I get it. You call it the "new dom intro", but it already was the dom intro before. Then, it doesn't go well with the next sentence of the third dom scene, "You almost dread her answer". Why "answer"? You didn't ask a question. And then, why repeat it on every new day? I get the memory-fuckery, but even so, it makes no sense to me if the player never even left her cave. The player lies or sits down respectively at the end of the previous scenes, so are you really that completely fucked up that you have zero recollection of even the fact that you stayed the night? Again, I find myself struggling to believe that.

On one of the nexts, you have "Another day" as a note. Make that, or something similar, a tooltip for both of those buttons. Something to communicate to the reader what's happening, even if their character doesn't know it. That's basically it: you want to confuse the character, not the player behind their monitor, but I feel I'm struggling to find the right words, here.

On the positive, the overall tone is good, and the scene does a lot to make the transition into the finale seamless. And her last words in it, and then the first in the capstone both being "I love you" make for a nice touch.

>a weary smirk on her face

One more I just noticed. "Weary", as in "tired", or did you mean "wary"?

>and you find almost falling

"find yourself". Maybe I should do more than one pass-through when proofreading.


 No.311972

>>311960

>Vala

Too big/10 would not get peed on


 No.311976

>>311962

>What if a birth happens on the second day, does it get resolved right away with a nice and jarring teleportation back to camp, or does that only happen after all has passed and you're back home again?

#2. You don't get pulled out of other areas (like dungeons) as the birth checks happen when you return to camp.

>In general, it did, but reading through again, the first revelation gives me pause, and my first conclusion when seeing that is that she has been kissing you for three days straight.

What's happened is that you've forgotten the last three days of being with Sylvia. The timeskip is in between you entering the cave and the start of this scene, and I don't know how I'd make that more clear without the character being aware that that's happened. Once again, is it not clear that it's your memory that's being played with more than your sense of time? I could add a line after "That can't— Days?" to the effect of "You walked in and started talking to her just a few minutes ago. But… you can't shake the feeling that you've been here before, that you've had this conversation already."

>what makes it odd to me is that Sylvia would seamlessly continue a conversation a whole three days later.

You're starting the conversation then, but you've already been there for days.

>but it already was the dom intro before.

It wasn't the last time I posted this, so I didn't know if you'd catch it. That note was basically just for you, but it ended up confusing the only person it was meant for. Also, you can answer a statement, but I'll change the line to "You tentatively ask Sylvia if the two of you could spend some time together."

>And then, why repeat it on every new day?

You think you've just walked into the cave each time, as that was your last clear memory.

>so are you really that completely fucked up that you have zero recollection of even the fact that you stayed the night? Again, I find myself struggling to believe that.

Yeah? Is that really a problem given that you've ingested large amounts of magic mind gas? I guess I don't see why the premise isn't clicking. I'll set it up better in the previous scene by adding "You're surprised that she's letting you leave so soon, as you'd expected to be there for far more than an hour," to the start and "However, when you [slide|step] out into the bog, you're shocked to find that it's much later than you'd expect. Were you there for longer than you thought?" in the middle.

>Make that, or something similar, a tooltip for both of those buttons.

But that ruins the suspense of not knowing what's on the other side of that button. You have the day in the bottom left to tell you what's happening, and I think it's a bit creepier to not specifically mention the time past the first time.

>you want to confuse the character, not the player behind their monitor

But I do want to confuse the player a bit. It's fine that you doubt events and fine if you're not sure exactly what's happening, as long as it's clear that that's not due to an authorial mistake. You're being directly set up for a bad end, and I wanted this to feel like a real mindfuck. I think that even if everything doesn't click immediately, it should make sense by the end of the scene, and that delayed realization would actually be a cool moment. It's to the point where I'm considering not adding that "just a few minutes ago" thing.

>One more I just noticed. "Weary", as in "tired", or did you mean "wary"?

The first. She's been through this a few times now.


 No.311999

File: cdf40c95ff48df8⋯.png (324.93 KB, 596x613, 596:613, 46ga3d.png)

So I wrote up a brief crow codex entry a crowdex if you will.

It doesn't contain much. Mostly little details that explain how they were before the demons and after. Their life-cycle, which I don't think is the right word for what I wrote there. Mainly it's my way to explain why Smiles will grow to the size of a six year old in a month but stay that way for a long time and there's mating info too i suppose.

https://pastebin.com/iZ8vgb56 - crow-morph codex

Though I am wondering if I should drop the whole egg thing. A baby in an egg would be pretty huge, so would it even be reasonable for them to be able to lay something that big? I wrote the eggs start off rubbery when first laid so I hope that can help explain why they can push out big eggs.

I also started Snuggles part 2, not much there to be worth posting yet.


 No.312002

>>311999

Well oviviparism is a thing so…


 No.312003

>>312002

Wait a second now that i notice are crow morphs (((them)))?


 No.312005

File: 50cdc8fe9391c00⋯.jpg (326.81 KB, 640x960, 2:3, 1496342458074.jpg)

>>312002

I had to look up what that was. It's this right: 'producing young by means of eggs which are hatched within the body of the parent' ? If so, why not just do a live birth, it'd be sort of the same thing.

I kind of wanted her to have cuddling with the egg too, plus I already wrote some scenes for the egg.

>>312003

>MFW You caught me.

Sort of. I pictured them more as gypsies? Which is likely just as bad.


 No.312007

File: d6a464dafd5939d⋯.png (1.43 MB, 1500x2100, 5:7, Telly_S-color.png)

File: 867ee400ba2cdf2⋯.png (1.66 KB, 56x52, 14:13, arian_nofur.png)

File: 09a6d0617cb7d9f⋯.png (631 B, 56x52, 14:13, arian.png)

In short, I looked at revamp's credits with the assumption in mind that anything listed there is garbage and needs revision. Lizan rogue is, in fact, garbage. I cannot be bothered to deal with it, but I used Arian and Kiha as sources for what lizans should be like and rewrote the codex based on that.

Lizan Codex

https://pastebin.com/YLPXHkGB

As no-fur mode Arian has no reptilian snout, I decided to try my hand at a nofur sprite for him/her. Mostly because I'm tired of seeing his droopy cock-nose every time I interact with him.

While I was fucking around in paint, I decided why the hell not and colored in the first Telly sketch we got. No real reason, unless someone wanted it for a personal image-pack I guess, but there it is.

What character would you want to see art of? I'm curious.

>>311931

Probably the update after the next, as it should be relatively easy to code.


 No.312010

>>312007

>Mostly because I'm tired of seeing his droopy cock-nose every time I interact with him.

Is that just his entire head? I don't think the nose protrudes at all.


 No.312016

>>312010

It's his face, with nofur off the lizans have lizard-like snouts. I say what I see, though, and what I'm seeing is a drooping cock. Since that is not a feature of nofur lizans, I figure I can get rid of the droop and have an excuse to do it


 No.312027

>>311195

I'm not using an image pack. As a side note though, the debugger runs CoC without any errors now.


 No.312067

File: 22184c97b41bf56⋯.png (188.63 KB, 520x585, 8:9, Kateinai Enko - Domestic r….png)

Telly Tails

https://pastebin.com/1jcr23dS

People don't generally ask for Telly, but after writing her article for the lore bible, I just felt that spur to do more Telly.


 No.312082

>>312067

>People don't generally ask for Telly

And it's a damn shame because she's damn adorable


 No.312099

>>312007

Cute smol demon.

>What character would you want to see art of? I'm curious.

Valeria. The poor slime armour girl is too neglected for my liking. Or mahou shoujo Valeria if we can get silly


 No.312110

>>312067

I think this would be confusing to people who have never experienced it themselves. Especially the champion referencing mind kitsunes.


 No.312130

>>312110

Mindkitsunes already confuse everyone anyways


 No.312159

>>312067

>You don't end up being hit with them too

What a shame


 No.312182

>>312159

>You don't spend a fluffy day kitsuneing around with Kitsune

A fluffying waste indeed


 No.312220

When will the corrupted witches' files be changed to reflect them not being corrupted sand witches for internal consistency?

It's just weird having it still be named that, even if it takes a little bit of effort to change it all properly.


 No.312276

I like this game and would like to contribute.

1) How does writing scenes work, am I supposed to post in this thread with pastebin link and wait for someone to pick it up?

2) I'm mostly interested in finishing/expanding exisiting content, with more focus on roleplaying and lore than on sex scenes. There's a lot of presumably old stuff that feels unfinished. What are the chances of such contribution being implemented?

3) Is Writing Guide to be actually followed (these are often outdated and disregarded)


 No.312282

>>312276

1) Pick something simple and write it in something like notepad++ or docs, then put it in a pastebin when you're done. Post it here with a title that briefly states what the scene is about.

2) Read the Bounty Board. We clearly do seek that.

3) Writing Guide is recently updated. It contains a lot of good advice and guidance.

Much of this stuff is very forward and apparent, do make an effort to look around and read things in the OP.

Remember to start with something as straight-forward and stand-alone as you can. It helps you get your bearings and get feedback that clarifies things you didn't know early on.


 No.312290

>>312282

Good example of content you could start with is writing a scene where you become magical girl in Ingnam


 No.312294

>>312276

The most important piece of advice which you didn't happen to ask for is that you should make sure to leave all of your discord etiquette behind you and make some effort to adapt to board culture. A lot of the people who've come from there don't care to lurk at all, and it usually shows.

>>312290

Now anon, that first shitpost was perfectly fine. Why are you disrespecting its author by asking for a replacement?


 No.312295

>>312282

Thanks, I did read both writing guide and bounty board, just wasn't sure whether contributions to old content are welcome outside of those specified (as writing guide indicated they are).


 No.312299

>>312276

everything that is linked in the op is actively maintained with everything under the writing related section and more being maintained and updated by someone in the thread called chronicler who is your go-to guy for a lot of things.

expanding content is fine but keep in mind that this mod has actual standards unlike most patreon shit or fenoxo so you will have your work picked apart for grammar lore and inconsistencies.


 No.312300

>>312294

Who said that there should be only one way of becoming magical girl?

I won't be happy unless we can become quadruple superhero before the three days in Ingnam are over


 No.312301

>>312294

I lurked/participated probably a lot longer than you did. Long enough to no longer care about all this nonsense.


 No.312316

>>312067

How long until we can fuck Telly?


 No.312345

>>312316

Never.


 No.312346

>>312316

We've already gotten to taste her sweet, sweet candy and buy her pussy. What more do you want?!


 No.312348

>>312346

Her fluffing our fluffy tails


 No.312355

File: 3d013dcef42db5b⋯.jpg (169.69 KB, 850x1200, 17:24, by_ken_coffee_michikusa.jpg)

Here's what i've started for part 2 of the birb. Not much in there yet, mostly camp descriptions, interaction options, and some more random chats.

Out of curiosity, would factories and machines be common knowledge? I wrote one chat were after you clear the factory you can get a chat to tell Snuggles about it and she doesn't know what a factory is. Want to make sure that makes sense. She was born after the demons started ruining shit so I think even if they were common it makes sense?

https://pastebin.com/3LzC1RWX

I also added a new chat to part 1 where the pc can talk to Snuggles about the demons a little.


 No.312358

>>312346

>What more do you want?!

For her to sit on our lap as we give her headpats.


 No.312359

>Magical girl content is on hiatus

>Fairy TF is probably not going to be made any time soon

>Plantgirl TF and plantgirl content is a thing and there is also some fairy content around though

A complex feeling


 No.312360

>>312359

The obvious solution is to contribute some writing of your own for magical girl content and fairy transformations.


 No.312434

File: 44843ce46c0dd93⋯.jpg (1.11 MB, 2000x1429, 2000:1429, 58715062_p0.jpg)

>>312359

If i remember right madokaanon is trying to find a way for the meguca shit to not look out of place.

I'm more curious about how close Marielle is of completion.


 No.312436

File: d563d88ac787a31⋯.png (136.23 KB, 480x480, 1:1, 1461357781099.png)

>>311695

>Moth doujins have finished up

IT'S NOT FAIR


 No.312446

>>312434

>If i remember right madokaanon is trying to find a way for the meguca shit to not look out of place.

Why is he even bothering

Noone is going to take it seriously anyway so it should be left in silly mode


 No.312451

File: 868cf063c22fe59⋯.png (6.78 MB, 6240x9056, 195:283, Marae_Sketch.png)

I am back, and I brought with me some Marae art. Sketched by Seimore, again, this time as part of an art study on the style of Dofus/Wakfu.

>>312316

If people push me to do things, I'm more likely to. At the moment, I see no reason to ever fuck Telly. As a character, with her backstory and motivations, she isn't interested in doing that with you.

That said, people have made discussions that convinced me of a way to do things with characters I didn't think fit at first. It comes down to what people ask about and want.

On that note, feel free to ask me for anything about Telly.

What scenes you wish I'd do with her, what you just want to know about her, so on and so forth. If a particularly nice scene idea comes up, I may do it. If the discussion reveals people often want to know X thing about her, maybe I'll add it into her [Chat]s, as I would like more of those.

In the mean time, I'm just reading a lot of Amily, Jojo, and Rathazul for my future stuff.


 No.312455

>>312451

>Scenes for Telly

What about gently bouncing her in your lap? Bonus for lewd being optional, allowing for a moment of wholesome fun.


 No.312456

>>312434

Why not just call the magical girls wizards or sorceresses? The lore involved the world being a multiversal garbage dump, so magical guardians coming from other worlds to fight demons doesn't sound too out of place.


 No.312457

File: 6a8580b45c9104e⋯.jpg (106.03 KB, 1000x1000, 1:1, 52241a4997e571928efc3097fe….jpg)

>>312451

>not buying telly's love with toys and gifts

>>312455

Listen to this man, we need more loli in CoC


 No.312464

>>312451

>Scenes for Telly

Gently cuddling her would be nice. Any potential lewd actions would be a bonus, but cuddling her for sure. She's too cute not to.


 No.312466

>>312455

I struggle to conceive of why that scenario would happen. If something as direct as "You ask that Telly sits on your lap", she's inclined to decline.

Glancing around, you ask Telly if there's any place you could sit.

"I'm sorry, mister, I don't have any chairs besides the one I'm on," she says, visibly disappointed that she cannot accommodate you. Perhaps the two of you could share a seat for a while, as she's small enough to fit snugly into your lap.

Telly smiles at the idea, but doesn't agree. "It'd be irresponsible of me to bring customers behind the counter."

I'd need a better set-up than that, and none comes to mind

>>312464

Similar issue with this, but I can see her agreeing to it far more readily. Maybe I could put it in the Buy menu, with the context that the sweetest treat is a hug from Telly herself. Yeah, I suppose I could do that.

>>312457

What would you want to give her?


 No.312467

>>312451

>>312466

>scenes for Telly

I'm thinking that the pc (possibly kid pcs only) could challenge her to various games Pretty sure one could get some lewd stuff outta a water drinking contest where winner gets to decide how everyone gets to relieve themselves but honestly that is me stretching a bit to get watersports content with an npc that is unlikely to be fuckable.


 No.312471

>>312466

Getting her sweets from the tel'adre town seems like an easy thing to give her. Wouldn't be too hard to follow that same train of thought with interesting things the NPC encounters like the orb you get after beating the wizard. Another thing you could do is give her flowers like ember, IIRC you could give her a drakesheart flower and it would raise her affection. Seems like it could be a cute use for her character and even could make use of some of the more dead end transformatives.


 No.312473

>>312466

>What would you want to give her?

Numb Rox

Pure Peaches

Urta's cum

Lethicite

Abyssal Shard


 No.312490

May somebody tell me who the fuck is Telly?

I don't remember I have ever seen her ingame…


 No.312550


 No.312553

>>312490

Go to the bazaar


 No.312555

>>312490

Its this >>312466 namefags daughter insert.

Why you would put your daughter into a degenerate sex game played mostly by pedos and other deviants is beyond me. Sure he won't write actual sex scenes for her but that doesn't stop people from fantasizing. I dunno maybe he gets off to the thought of actual pedos jerking off while thinking of ravaging his daughter.


 No.312556

>>312555

No? Telly is a collab character created by bapthomet or whatever it is spelled and satan


 No.312557

>>312555

Are you fucking retarded?


 No.312560

Anyone know how to unfuck Helia? I don't like the NTR content with minotaur cum. It'd be one thing if she was sleeping around, but calling me worthless is another.


 No.312561

>>312560

have a (you) now get out


 No.312562

>>312556

Cool story bro.

>>312560

Helia is a shit waifu anyways I only farm her for drops and xp.


 No.312563

>>312561

I'm not interested in You's, I just am trying to find the right flag in the save editor.


 No.312564

>>312562

>Trying to spread misinformation for a bait that only someone new to the thread would believe


 No.312565

>>312560

>is okay with his property getting dicked by others

>gets upset when he is called worthless

Well they say the truth hurts.


 No.312567

>>312565

I'm not against polyamory, guy.


 No.312568

>>312560

>Helia

That was your first mistake anon you fell for a whore.

Take this warning in your real life too anon,don't fall for whores and don't try to be the shining knight who will set her in the right path,you're deluding yourself in both cases.

If you want a should i say "better" waifu or whatever go for Kiha,Marble or Amiliy


 No.312569

I don't get all the Urta hate. You can talk to her once at the Tel'Adre gates, once when training Katherine, and then ignore her forever. You don't HAVE to go over and talk to her. There's plenty of characters I just ignore.

Also, almost didn't open this thread because for some reason I thought it was just addition of piss to the game. (I don't check 8chan often.) I hope there's a toggle for that.


 No.312570

Anyone know how "minoscore" is calculated?


 No.312574

File: 4318b825a5c3cee⋯.png (84.12 KB, 466x492, 233:246, 1542155200951.png)

>>312569

>I don't get all the Urta hate.

She is fenoxo self insert,who is shoved in 90% of the scenes of the game that make no sense of her showing up in the first place.

Then there is that she was supposed to fuck ALL of your love interests no exceptions…she rapes Amily,the guard captain of a pure city rapes a girl and if you stop her you are the bad guy,that and if you ever so much as disagree with Utra you are automatically wrong and considered worse than the fucking demons

Than there is a sealed god in "her" dick….a sealed…god…in her dick…..let that sink in(i really wish i was making this up).

There is the end game stat that checks the game world when you finish Coc, "curing" Utra is far far more important than killing a corrupted goddess.

There is a reason why everyone hates her,Utra is plan a unlikable character, mary sue of who is shoved in nearly every scene,who is always right,and who keeps whinning about her dick despited 99% of the "female" in tel'adre having one.

And that is the start of things….


 No.312575

Where can I find a save editor that works with this?


 No.312576

>>312569

There's a toggle, thankfully.

>>312574

Wow, actually, I didn't fully process how bad it was until you listed it all out.


 No.312577

>>312575

CoCEdit kiiinda works… But the raw data flags don't always work right. You'll need to consult the flag numbers with https://gitgud.io/BelshazzarII/CoCAnon_mod/blob/master/classes/classes/GlobalFlags/kFLAGS.as and just sorta… ask around. I solved my minotaur issue by reducing her addiction to nothing, thankfully.


 No.312580

File: 149a4f8f0aadc27⋯.jpg (11.02 KB, 193x261, 193:261, scared_moth.jpg)

>>312436

Wait, what? Didn't see that news, are you sure they're done?


 No.312583

Moth friend on suicide watch


 No.312587

>>312568

> "better" waifu or whatever go for Kiha,Marble or Amiliy

All of which will willingly fuck others. Smh. The only waifu that will ALWAYS stay true to you and has only ever had sex with you is Arian. Phylla gets an honorable mention for starting out just as pure and needing a corrupt champion MAKE HER fuck others (in an orgy with their kids).


 No.312590

>>312587

Eh?

Pretty sure Kiha and Marble stay loyal to you unless i missed something.

And Amiliy gets raped by that Thing Urta and only when you talked to "IT"(Urta).

And really the only time you should talk to Urta is to make "her" depressive


 No.312593

>>312590

Kiha will have a threesome with Helia and Marble will fuck her sister. Neither require any extra effort. Amily is perfectly eager to fuck Urta anytime after the initial sex with her. Arian will only ever fuck the player character, Phylla can only be forced to be in an orgy with their kids by a corrupt player character.


 No.312594

>>312590

>only time you should talk to Urta is to make "her" depressive

making urta kill itself when

having it drastically increase out final score when


 No.312595

>>312593

In addition to the fact that you need to specifically ask Kiha and Marble to do either of those things, both of those scenes are 100% player focused. If you don't like FFM, anon, you might actually be gay.


 No.312596

>>312595

>pretending that the fact they're more than willing to fuck others AT ALL isn't problem enough

k then


 No.312598

>>312593

>Arian will only ever fuck the player character

Undeniable proof that Arian is best waifu


 No.312599

File: ae7750d295a0078⋯.png (514.51 KB, 546x633, 182:211, shinoa sigh.png)

Either most of you are new here, don't read the text in the game, or are retarded. Helia doesn't fuck anyone but you in this mod after you tell her that fucking minotaurs gets you addicted to their spunk. Every scene where she ends up having sex with others (those disgusting fox herms and other shit) get outright disabled when you choose that, and even the dialogue after that reflects it where she admits this to you in an embarrassed way.

But then again, most of you are either obvious newfags or too stupid to read in a text-based game.


 No.312602

>>312596

Anon, they're participating in a threesome at your request. You're obviously fine with having a harem of girls you fuck individually, so what's the problem with doing two of them at the same time? I'm actually stunned that you retards are making one of the most virile things imaginable into cuckshit.


 No.312603

>>312599

The fact that she's whored around her entire life up to that point doesn't bother you even a little? "Oh it's fine you've sucked every dick and licked every clit in half of Mareth, it all makes up for it that you won't do that ANYMORE"

>>312602

You might have a point if they expressed reluctance and actively didn't want to touch anyone but you during it. But no they thoroughly enjoy fucking the other as well. Can't believe someone's actually trying to say that doesn't make them inherently inferior.


 No.312604

Going to throw out that Helia is only good as a punching bag. With Kiha and Ember being the higher-tier waifu lizards. Even Arian is better.

Still waiting on Kiha and Ember to give better XP as you spar with them. Maybe someday.

Also option to kill to kill Helia when?


 No.312610

>>312603

It would be pure hypocrisy if I hated her for sleeping around while my character probably had more dick in her than she did

>>312604

>Still waiting on Kiha and Ember to give better XP as you spar with them. Maybe someday.

Enable regular training baka


 No.312618

>>312603

>But no they thoroughly enjoy fucking the other as well.

Yes, anon, they enjoy the threesome that you asked them to participate in. They aren't fucking anybody behind your back, nor are they doing it without your permission (or even without your request). In particular, both of these scenes are focused on competition/conflict between the girls, if your concern was emotional betrayal. Does your waifus experiencing sexual pleasure upset you? How are you that autistic?


 No.312619

>>312610

>Enable regular training baka

Doesn't that scale enemies too? I'll try it but I don't want some faggy imp matching me at lv 31.


 No.312620

>>312619

Just disable it when you stop grinding

It's a toggle


 No.312623

>>312620

>Just disable it when you stop grinding

I guess…

But if it means I can get strong enough to basic attack my way to lv 99, i'll disable the toggle after that then go fuck akbal.


 No.312625

>>312603

>Oh it's fine you've sucked every dick and licked every clit in half of Mareth, it all makes up for it that you won't do that ANYMORE

Keep moving those goalposts, I'm sure you'll get your way eventually. The matter of fact is that Helia stays faithful to you after you've met her and make the promise to satiate each other, which eventually blooms in love. Whether you can accept that or not is up to you and whoever plays this, but as she is she's as faithful as she can be given you don't tell her to continue sucking cocks.

Mareth as a world is completely fucked, and people have been influenced on a case by case basis. Helia has been absolutely mindbroken due to her time with Gnolls, and you pretty much end up bringing her back from that high she tries to chase with emotionless sex ever since, which is something exclusive to this mod. I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a retort to this even when it's clearly something that's a choice of whether it's something you can get behind it or not, seeing as you're arguing against threesomes that you yourself instigate in the first place and would never happen without your character wanting it to.


 No.312628

>>312596

>Would rather fuck a tranny lizard than have a threesome

found the gay

>>312603

This is why best girl is and always will be Ember

>>312625

I don't think hes saying that Helia is completely worthless just that she is worth less due to her slutty past.


 No.312633

>>312603

Then don't interact with her. Helia being a bicycle slut that you tame and purify for yourself is most of her character. At this point, you are demanding that she be utterly removed or replaced.

1. Why the hell should perfectly good optional content be removed after it has already gotten a reworking that removes all cuckshit.

2. If someone where to replace Helia with a pure perfectly chaste character that has a completely different backstory, why the hell replace Helia at all? At that point, you might as well just make an entirely new character.

Not that I'm surprised by you being too retarded to realize how stupid you're being. Anyone who thinks having a harem of loving wives compete for his dick or even touch each other during a threesome is somehow cuckshit is a massive faggot or a closet cuck himself.


 No.312635

>>312633

He's saying that he doesn't like the character, not that she should be replaced. Not agreeing with that anon, but don't be an idiot.


 No.312637

>>312635

Yeah, I should have read through the thread a bit more before posting. I just saw the end bit and assumed that whole shit storm had started back up.

I still stand by everything else I said though. The dude is a closet cuck if threesomes where the women touch each other triggers him.


 No.312639

>>312466

> I struggle to conceive of why that scenario would happen.

Fair enough, maybe save that for a campsite daughter scene then.

Even though I'd enjoy more wholesome fun that has the potential to become lewd, contrived scenarios that exist 'just because' are no fun.


 No.312641

>>312434

>I'm more curious about how close Marielle is of completion.

She's fairly close, though I feel like I've been saying and thinking that for months now.

>>312446

>Why is he even bothering

Why do we even live.

>Noone is going to take it seriously anyway so it should be left in silly mode

Depends on what you do with them. What >>312456 said is basically what I had in mind: blessed guardians from another world that teleported to Mareth to escape their own destruction. Didn't work too well, and now they're all fucked anyway, including their goddess. The problem I see is that they will always feel tacked-on, like almost any character from a different world, and their whole content would be more or less removed from the main game, and possibly quite sizeable. Considering the still-persisting lack of fleshed-out vanilla demon content, I don't know if it would be a good idea to dedicate any brain cells to developing magical girls, as fun as it could be. For now, I'm fine with them just being references, like statues and corpses you will never talk to, as well as strange dresses or the occasional weapon you can find.

But by all means, if anyone wants to take up where I left off or write some entirely new mahou shoujo, go right ahead, don't let me stop you from trying.


 No.312643

>>312628

>Tranny

>On the place where swapping parts is easy as fuck


 No.312644

>>312451

>What scenes you wish I'd do with her

Followup to Telly's Tails & Tufts, when you visit again after the effect wears off. How does she respond? Does she get embarrassed? Pull some prank in return? Anything would be better than never mentioning it again.

Ask her if she can get you some cat toys & cat treats.


 No.312645

>>312644

The fluff part is not even complete…


 No.312656

>>312643

>everybody is doing it so its not gay!


 No.312661

>>312656

More like it does not fucking matter


 No.312672

File: fc037e5d4947e6d⋯.png (207.7 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 26017151_p0.png)

Telly Talks, Tributes, & T…Cuddles.

https://pastebin.com/d8U5WvAM

Off the top of my head, I couldn't think of a T word for cuddling.

>>312467

Way too much of a stretch there. Aside from her knowing all too well what piss kink is, the competition is also an extremely boring idea. If she were play games with you, they'd be more fun than "drink some water". Lord knows I can't think of what. I'll jot down a note to draft some vague ideas at some point.

>>312471

Just two weeks until the 1 year mark since I wrote the ember drakeheart scene… How fitting, perhaps, to write a scene for giving Telly flowers on the anniversary of that

>orb

What?

>>312473

>Numb Rox

They taste like sparkles! I'll avoid gifting her the things she already sells, however. The bear is the only one you can give back to her.

>Abyssal Shard

Lacks a logical reason the player-character would offer it to her.

>>312490

Deviant art OC by two people who RP as demons on a mesoamerican alpaca herding forum

>>312644

As it's a silly mode scene, I hadn't considered any followup.


 No.312676

>>312672

You could write a scene where you bring an indeterminate amount of your bastard spawn to her shop and let them have what they want, then settle the bill with Telly after they've ransacked her stock of sweets, and a promise never to do it again.

And/or setting up some business deal with Razathul…rathazul? Where he purifies some of her goods in exchange for some materials.

Part of me wants to suggest awful, awful scenes of fucking the alchemist ratto


 No.312678

>>312672

A 'T' word for cuddles . . . How about a silly mode scene involving Tribbles?


 No.312696

>>312672

>Lacks a logical reason the player-character would offer it to her

To summon an eldritch entity for a tea party duh


 No.312699

>>312672

>Lacks a logical reason the player-character would offer it to her.

Ey gurl check this out kickass swag that I found


 No.312726

>>312672

How about headpats eventually progressing in lewds?

can't go wrong with that.


 No.312777

>>312672

During the fight in the volcanic crag dungeon if I'm not mistaken, you can fight a grand wizard for the orb of creation. You can also use the same orb to summon an eldritch horror to fight. It's what I meant by showing her the "orb".

>Drakeheart scene

I honestly didn't know you made that scene, it was a really fitting scene for ember. Do hope you can push for more with her. It's a shame when the shopkeepers just go way of the dodo and get no further than just a sex scene, or a few chat options.


 No.312786

>>312777

>During the fight in the volcanic crag dungeon if I'm not mistaken, you can fight a grand wizard for the orb of creation. You can also use the same orb to summon an eldritch horror to fight. It's what I meant by showing her the "orb".

You're not just mixing up two completely unrelated dungeons, you're mixing up CoC with some other game. You get a shard of black crystal (not an orb of creation) from the broken dagger of the necromancer in the manor (not the wizard in the volcanic crag tower). There's no orb anywhere.


 No.312790

>>312786

Oh fuck, then I'm so sorry. It's been a while since I've completed the game. I just remember the eldritch boss fight. So I could just be mixing up the encounters and pre-reqs


 No.312803

File: 518f11ccde36c19⋯.png (768.76 KB, 800x1119, 800:1119, flandre_by_sushoyushi.png)

>>312672

I'm curious, would you be cool with me adding more toys to telly's shop? Like wooden swords, rubber balls, slingshots, and boomerangs. I want more things to gift kids besides a teddy bear. Going to write those up when I start the crow kid anyway no matter what you say, but figured they'd make the most sense at her toy shop. If you say no then i guess Smiles will start her own toy business in camp.


 No.312812

File: 24ec2de5f10c60e⋯.jpg (757.32 KB, 941x941, 1:1, 59227883_p0.jpg)

>>312641

Maybe find some mummified bodies of the megucas in the bog, then give it to marielle so she can copy the clothes, said clothes still being in good shape because magic.


 No.312816

>>312812

There's also the tailor in Tel Ardre. She can make non-magical versions of the outfits that you can throw around as gifts.

Maybe Telly might like a frilly dress as a gift? It could be aggressively pink.


 No.312817

>>312641

A question here: Why do they have to be from other world? Far as i know there are- were a bunch of gods on mareth


 No.312821

>>312817

There is another option. Maybe they were some of the humans that rejected demonhood and fought against it.


 No.312822

>>312821

Isn't that the sandwiches story?


 No.312823

File: c3002415130589b⋯.jpg (634.17 KB, 696x953, 696:953, __kaname_madoka_and_ultima….jpg)

>>312672

Never expected satan to be the one to make get diabetes, i really want to pet Telly and/or pinch her cheeks, forever.

>>312816

Now i really want to see Telly in a frilly mahou shoujo dress.


 No.312851

>>312812

Could do something like that. The one dress you can so far buy from her she copied from one of the statues in their temple, I could also just reuse those again for different designs.

>>312817

Perhaps there was some goddess who kept a bunch of young girls as followers, blessed them with her power, and dressed them up in frilly garments, but having to deal with the pain of explaining the whats, whens, and whys of their story and trying to tie it into Mareth's history and the war in particular is something I'd rather altogether avoid. And by and large, I think magical girls just don't quite fit into Mareth. I'm not much of a lorefag, but they seem a bit too whimsical for that world, Marae's presence would largely have made them obsolete as guardians, and them being a thing prior to the demons would have prolonged that war by a good bit and likely made them quite famous, but what we know of the demon invasion is that they overran pretty much everything with hardly any resistance.


 No.312863

>>312851

easy backstory, random demigod, built a mansion in their own little dimension(or invisible and locked doors) cut off from the world to enjoy them however you want him to. You find them through champion logic and tell them about the world, the war and the demons but they're to scared to leave their home. And to tie it off with a bow their creator died a long time ago and they are all lonely. happy ending… except the dead guy.


 No.312970

File: 6520ec782ccf513⋯.png (309.71 KB, 659x1032, 659:1032, oppai.png)

Telly's Balls

https://pastebin.com/ShbTZFWE

Need at least one more item to add to her shop so that [Hug] can be directly underneath the teddybear item. Three more items if I want to fill the entire second row.

>>312678

I haven't heard that referenced in what feels like decades, I don't know who the hell is going to get that.

>>312676

Maybe in the eventual update that stretches out the game and makes early game last much longer, since I plan to make Telly an [Explore] encounter as she's traveling from place to place

>>312803

I'm alright with anybody writing good content, so no. give it a try and I'll rewrite it to make it fit her character better. That said,

>Wooden swords

Don't be a pussy, most kids are using real knives by the time they're 8. Train them properly, like Kid A. I reject this outright.

>Rubber balls

That has traction. I've now retroactively stolen it.


 No.312976

>>312970

>Train them properly, like Kid A

To be fair she's more or less fully grown after a few hours.


 No.312980

>>312970

That ancient pass-time and prime child's toy, Ball-in-a-cup.

A chia pet that's actually a tiny moss dryad who wanders off after she grows.

Beyblades.


 No.312987

>>312980

LET IT RIIIIIIP


 No.312991

>>312970

Fumos of various characters we can put inside of our room

Toy wands/swords

Yoyo that you can upgrade later on

A flute

Ribbons


 No.312992

File: 399de7b22f2f844⋯.jpg (14.91 KB, 480x360, 4:3, wait a goddamn minute peop….jpg)

>>312991

>a yoyo


 No.312993

>>312991

>Flute

Renge when?


 No.312994

>>312970

Thrown weapon mastery when?


 No.313009

Do you still get lolipops from Alices? If so,how? Do you have to kill them or am I just extremely unlucky? I spent the last 4hours trying to get one, endlessly spamming forest and deepwoods exploration. I get nothing but fucking endless Imp overlords and Goblins and Corrupted glades and dryads and bees… I used to get the occasional Alice but it seems like they just stopped showing up now. And even when I got the occasional one, tried different scenes about 20times and never got a lolipop.

Is there another way to get them? And wtf happened to these encounter rates,this is just getting boring at this point


 No.313010

>>312994

If Koraeli feels inspired to expand on that, then whenever that is. I have no personal interest in the matter, so I'm not seeking to produce more content supporting that change.

>>313009

You are just unlucky. Note that they only have a boosted encounter rate in deepwoods, not forest. You also get lolipops from kitsune gifts, which you can get 100% of the time from kitsunes if you leave without fighting or fight but leave without fucking (sex results in getting fox gems). Lastly, you can buy lolipops from Telly at the Bazaar, this is already in-game.

>Do you have to kill them

Morally, yes, why wouldn't you? You some kind of demon-loving fag?


 No.313011

>>313010

>why wouldn't you?

Alices are rare and I need them for my loli army as support casters


 No.313013

>>312970

>give it a try and I'll rewrite it to make it fit her character better.

It'd be good practice to see if I can match her tone, I'll need to actually read through her content beyond buying a teddy bear first.

>Don't be a pussy, most kids are using real knives by the time they're 8. Train them properly, like Kid A. I reject this outright.

I'd rather them beat on each other with wooden weapons then give them real ones, i'll just write the player making them. Have the kids fight in a ring to show off what they learned and the most skilled become worthy of knocking up.

>Nigga stole my rubber ball idea.

Hm… not what I had in mind but more toys is nice.


 No.313020

>>313019

Just punch the guards bro


 No.313022

File: 71fbcfe6ac01c3d⋯.png (568.35 KB, 1007x813, 1007:813, help.PNG)

WTF IS HAPPENING


 No.313023

>>313022

Ah that? Do not kitsune it is just fluffy tail to fluff them away you just have to fluffy tail the next kitsune


 No.313025

File: 7b706905f6601b8⋯.png (151.04 KB, 421x500, 421:500, 1442002118200.png)

>>313023

oh christ it's over, thanks.


 No.313026

>>313025

See? Told you


 No.313027

>>313009

Alices have a 1/5 chance to drop lolipops, kitsune gifts have a 1/14 chance. You don't need any corruption to enter the bazaar.


 No.313028

Why do the mind kitsunes not change the stats too?


 No.313029

>>313028

The effect is done in the parser, so only text which goes through the parser gets kitsuned.


 No.313031

>>313029

Naruhodo…


 No.313032

File: 1f875a6a29c61f1⋯.png (652.74 KB, 989x887, 989:887, 1378971778118.png)

>>313010

>You some kind of demon-loving fag?

Yes.


 No.313039

File: 393bdcdef455e65⋯.jpg (166.75 KB, 1280x960, 4:3, 1ef219987cecfabf7cbeb88b3f….jpg)

>>313010

You could just have telly sell toy guns. I can even imagine if you find her in the wild with her threatening you with one of her toy guns before going friendly if she finds you're not corrupted to shit. Either that or a pretend stick up. Many ways you can go about it actually since we did get the blunderbuss, so maybe a toygun or bbgun wouldn't be too far fetched


 No.313044

>>313039

>going friendly if she finds you're not corrupted to shit

She's a demon, she has at least as much to fear from a pure person as a corrupt person.


 No.313047

File: 245334e73f1d592⋯.png (129.07 KB, 1000x833, 1000:833, FAITH 01.png)

Alright, I have some time to spare. Let's get to this week's request.

First request I get, I write. Usual rules apply, and I shall repeat them once more.

• Single one-off scene only. Cannot require new content or follow-up.

• Must fit the game. This applies both in type of content and whether it fits the character/creature.

• I will write immediately, and honestly try, but quality is never guaranteed.

This tends to take between 1 and 2 hours.

>>313039

>friendly if she finds you're not corrupted to shit

Is it somehow unclear that she's a demon? Quite literally, her corruption stat is 100/100. Even increases your own corruption if you hug her.

Toy guns have potential for some cute scenes, but firearms in general are very rare and sparsely known. In all the game, there's two, and Benoit has one. She wouldn't be familiar enough to have replicas. She could source toys and treats from other people/places, but toy-makers are generally few and not offering a ton of things. It's much easier to make a wood replica of other weapons. So nobody would have any to sell to her, and for a lot of reasons she wouldn't be making them herself. A lot of reasons.

Lovely idea, though. Maybe I'll include it in a shitpost sometime.


 No.313049

>>313047

PC being a good dad and giving his kid(s) piggyback rides.


 No.313050

>>313049

Naturally, if you've got a lot of them then you'll never want to do it again, thus a one-time scene.


 No.313056

File: 106debbea0cdd5c⋯.jpg (191.89 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 553836f90fc92341ad50ddfb50….jpg)

>>313044

>>313047

I guess I used the wrong word. From the alice scenes where you can talk to them, they're paranoid to all hell of anything killing them in the wilderness, with the alice's getting eaten by wildlife and not wanting to group up for food. Considering the rape gangs and the weird ass creatures that live on the fucked up food, it's not hard to see her being paranoid about the player too for an explore encounter, corrupted or not.


 No.313060

>>313056

Telly's been an Alice for a while, and has a much easier time than most others since other Alices are lust demons, therefor needing to feed to keep themselves decently functional. There are plenty of things she does that puts her more at ease regarding the prospect of danger, but all that aside she is also currently only at the bazaar, which is not as dangerous as being out in the general [Explore].

>>313059

damn it, delete this before you spoiler everyone on what I'm writing.


 No.313061

File: 08e8ed6317824ab⋯.jpg (25.34 KB, 371x403, 371:403, 08e8ed6317824abf0678d600d0….jpg)

>>313059

>PC has to piggyback his hoard of children birthed by harem

>PC breaks his back into the first 50


 No.313062

>>313047

MORTIS


 No.313063

>>313061

Hey, that 100 STR/END has to count for something.

And if the PC's a centaur then you can do pony rides instead.


 No.313065

>>313063

You forget Phylla can birth thousands of children in the anthill. You'd be dead by the time you get through her spawn and the camp's harem.


 No.313067

>>313060

Wow, you actually made him delete that, what a bully.


 No.313068

>>313065

They also grow almost instantly. They'd be 2big for rides. Carrying eggs, though…


 No.313079

File: 3a4d0914bd1ce6d⋯.png (21.3 KB, 253x223, 253:223, biribiri_Eikoku_Yousei_05.png)

>>313050

One-off, not one-time. One-off scenes have no extra context needed, like adding a new victory sex scene for enemies, or in this case piggy-back rides for kids. Repeatable one-offs are fine.

>>313049

Giving Your Child A Piggy-Back Ride

https://pastebin.com/1t39a5BZ

You didn't specify which kid(s).

>>313063

No strength checks, the love of a parent for their offspring can overcome anything.


 No.313087

File: 75500523d07fe4f⋯.gif (62.77 KB, 474x200, 237:100, Thanks Satan.gif)

>>313079

delightful.

And you're right, I didn't.


 No.313116

File: 2a50320acd54389⋯.jpg (55.2 KB, 220x261, 220:261, 2a50320acd543899a35dd83721….jpg)

>>313079

Needs a silly mode option that leads to a direct bad end, where the manlet PC's back breaks carrying helspawn.


 No.313136

>>313116

What do you mean that i can't lift my children as a loli? That's racist


 No.313163

File: fca5bcee5af947a⋯.jpg (305.99 KB, 635x903, 635:903, 57770473_p31_master1200.jpg)

I've doing this as a request for Satan, so I'll be stealing his format:

First request I get, I write

(Imagine that I wrote all of those rules here)

I might be a bit slower than him, but I will try to get the scene out tonight.


 No.313164

>>313163

Giving honey to caught fairy


 No.313166

>>313164

Like in a stuffing scenario? Or are you just giving her a nice snack? What's the angle here, I'm kinda confused about why someone would want to do that.


 No.313170

>>313166

honey intoxication


 No.313182

>>313163

Fucking Telly's Vagoo.


 No.313183

>>313170

Why? If you mean to add another addiction that affects fairy scenes then that's not really a single scene anymore but a character expansion pack.


 No.313187

File: 0cef61ed63b6adb⋯.jpg (387.58 KB, 1500x2317, 1500:2317, honeyfaerie.jpg)

>>313170

Alright, well here you go. Hope you like it, this was surprisingly fun to do.

https://pastebin.com/qVMf8dzu

>>313182

Shit, I wish you'd got here earlier, that would've been an enjoyable backfire.


 No.313188

File: 638c71bde0039df⋯.jpg (135.62 KB, 850x1200, 17:24, by_ken_coffee_michikusa_99.jpg)

Well here's some more scenes for Snuggles. There's actually sex stuff in there this time. I wrote some scenes for the pc gifting her things too, only two really as one of them isn't really an item. might remove her ring gifting as I really feel only Amily deserves such a thing. but crows like shiny things and i can't think of any others in game

https://pastebin.com/3LzC1RWX

I still need to do a few more sex scenes then some kid interactions for while Smiles is growing.


 No.313191

>>313188

Bracelet? Enough to show you care but not with the commitment a ring has.


 No.313196

>>313163

nininbaori AKA sharing the same set of clothes with (and squished tight against) a cutie girl?

Awww nuts. Too late


 No.313199

>>313196

Well I'd reject that not only for being too vague, but also because you type like a fag, so don't feel too bad for being late.


 No.313204

>>313187

Nothing quite like getting fairies drunk

Thanks!


 No.313218

File: 21e2463016806ea⋯.png (224.45 KB, 513x779, 27:41, Chibi_Moth.PNG)

And now for the main course! https://pastebin.com/P3ywAMpN

I did Dolores's final teen progress scene (long enough to get its own paste), and I hope its good enough. I've been staring at words for so long today that I feel completely incapable of making that judgement right now. Sorry if there were any unfinished bits that I missed (same excuse). The only thing left after this is Dolores's tapestry (both its creation and description), and then I should be 100% done finished through with moth writing.


 No.313219

>>313170

>>313187

I'm confused by this. What's the context here? Do fairies just naturally respond to honey this way, like they do with sexual fluids? Is it toxic or fermented honey, which you just happen to carry around with you and the game neglected to ever mention before? Did you cum in the honey?

I tried searching for reference to "honey intoxication" that might explain this, thinking maybe there was some study about honey's effect in massive doses or on small animals, something like spiders getting high on caffeine for example, but I found nothing.

Besides that, it forces way too much personality on the champion even for silly mode.


 No.313221

>>313219

>Do fairies just naturally respond to honey this way, like they do with sexual fluids?

I had the vague impression that bees/their honey were somehow narcotic/hypnotic. The following honey quote supported that, so I didn't really question it.

>Opening the crystal vial, you are greeted by a super-concentrated wave of sweet honey-scent. It makes you feel lightheaded. You giggle and lick the honey from your lips, having drank down the syrupy elixir without a thought.

Is this not supported by lore? I can imagine the normally mild effect of honey being amplified on faeries.

>Besides that, it forces way too much personality on the champion even for silly mode.

Easily solvable with a tooltip, just didn't think to write one at the time. "Force-feed her some honey." There, don't click on that if you don't want to dom anyone.


 No.313226

>>313221

>Is this not supported by lore?

I think it is. It's actually called an aphrodisiac once in a bee scene. The biggest point against it is probably how pure honey actually cures Vala, though I assume that's more the corruption reduction than the honey itself given the alternative items.


 No.313227

>>313221

>Is this not supported by lore?

I suppose it is. I've never done much with the bees, so it just seemed completely out of nowhere to me. I don't think the scene does a good job of explaining the situation to players who don't know about the honey's effects.

>Easily solvable with a tooltip, just didn't think to write one at the time. "Force-feed her some honey." There, don't click on that if you don't want to dom anyone.

That's not the issue at all, it's the way it's done, the champion's thoughts and expressions that are really distinctive and portray a specific personality.


 No.313239

>>313227

>I don't think the scene does a good job of explaining the situation to players who don't know about the honey's effects.

Fair enough. I didn't really know myself what the situation would be, as I kinda just dove in head first. Added "Bee honey is usually a mild aphrodesiac, but given the faeries' affinity for fluids, you'd really like to see how they react to it." as the second sentence. Is it fine with that?

>That's not the issue at all, it's the way it's done, the champion's thoughts and expressions that are really distinctive and portray a specific personality.

This is a little bit too nonspecific, both in terms of the actual text that's a problem for you and the overall impression you're getting. I'll talk about some examples to say why I think they're okay.

>by the intense look you're giving her.

First implication of any personality, and it's extremely vague. What type of intense look is this? Manic? Obsessed? Angry? Lusty? Sure, it implies that you're feeling something strongly, but it doesn't really say what, which I imagined was enough room for the player to fill in that blank.

>But you're not planning on hurting her, no, you're going to give her a sweet treat.

This is a line that I think should be fine for anyone who's specifically taking a "force-feed" option. Are there people who'd want to force-feed her, but wouldn't be the slightest bit into it?

>instead grinning and slowly lowering your hand into your free pouch

I'll remove the grinning, that's a bit too much. You could argue that the slight teasing here is a bit out of line, but there are once again a lot of ways in which this could be specifically expressed (anywhere from malicious/cruel to coy/teasing).

>But she is most certainly underestimating the situation she's in.

This is a bit of a blurry line between player thought/narration, but I figure it should work for anyone who's purposefully taking a dominant scene.

>but she's been such a good girl for you that you think you can show her a little kindness. That is, you'll make the rest of this go quickly.

Once again, I figure being into the explicit action (force feeding a faerie) should make this bit work for you. Who would pick this and still feel like this is wildly out of character?

I'm willing to be brought around on this, but I generally like trying to extrapolate some traits that a player would have to have to want to take an option and then focus on those. Even if things don't work quite as well for the 10% of players this doesn't fit, I feel that most people who'd want to force-feed a faerie would enjoy a more animated scene. If this still doesn't work out, I'd probably try fine-tuning the tooltip to meter player expectations rather than significantly change the scene itself.


 No.313250

>>313187

Is this how we make faeries go back to work? By bribing them with "drugs"?


 No.313259

>>313239

>This is a little bit too nonspecific

You're right, I'll try to go into detail.

>I'll remove the grinning, that's a bit too much

That was one of the biggest problems I had. Especially since I like to play cold and stoic characters, any grinning or smirking really bugs me.

>tiny women

Woman. Unrelated to the personality stuff, just happened to notice it.

>intense look

This is vague enough to be fine on its own, I agree. In combination with other things it can be problematic, if something else is adding a particular "flavor" to the intensity.

>that's a scary face you've got going on there

Like this, for example, it makes it slightly less vague. Still borderline, but it's at least a little questionable.

>You slowly, teasingly pull the bottle of honey from your bag, giving her quite the show

I imagine the number of people who would rather be forceful or direct instead of slow and teasing isn't small. I'd be surprised if it was only "10% of players" that this doesn't work for.

>she's been such a good girl for you that you think you can show her a little kindness. That is, you'll make the rest of this go quickly.

The action itself isn't out of character, but the thoughts easily could be. This definitely doesn't read as just narration to me. Even if there are multiple ways to interpret the intent behind the thoughts, the thoughts themselves seem pretty characteristic.

>Hot moan manage

moans

>sliding out of the glass and into throat

into her throat?

>the bottle clatters to the ground as you toss it away

It's barely worth mentioning, but if I'm being nitpicky, not everyone would just throw away the bottle. Keep Mareth beautiful, don't litter.

>a erratic

an

>You chuckle a bit at the sight

While it's not as bad as the grinning, this is another big one for me.

On a side-note, would your finger fit in a fairy's mouth? At around 3 inches tall, I think the tip of an adult male's pinky would be close to the size of her entire head.


 No.313278

>>310915

A man after my own heart


 No.313339

Does this version have a save game editor? I remember the old one had an editor out there somewhere.


 No.313351

>>313259

>Like this, for example, it makes it slightly less vague.

How so? She could be scared of any particular emotion.

>I imagine the number of people who would rather be forceful or direct instead of slow and teasing isn't small.

I'm removing the word "teasingly" from the sentence. Ideally, that should let people gloss over the sentence more easily or construe it as slightly different if it doesn't fit them. I really don't want to remove it entirely.

>While it's not as bad as the grinning, this is another big one for me.

I'd vaguely remembered writing "chuckle" somewhere when I went back to do that pass, and I'd intended on taking it out, but it seems I somehow missed it, so thanks. Also thanks for the typo fixes. With the worst offenders gone, do you feel like it's still unreasonably imposing?

>On a side-note, would your finger fit in a fairy's mouth?

I figure they've gotta be flexible, and the idea was just that you're holding it open by jamming the tip in, not that you're going in deep or anything. Changed the first mention to "the tip of your [claw/finger]."

>>313339

How is this a daily question for you idiots?


 No.313368

>>313191

A bracelet would work, or necklace but I don't think those exist in game.


 No.313382

>>313259

>since I like to play cold and stoic characters

The mental image of some dude with a blank expression on it's face forcefeeding honey to a fairy is priceless


 No.313402

>>313351

I think it's good now.


 No.313450

>>313402

I want an alice camp follower/lover that is (to her immense annoyance) coincidentally named Alice.


 No.313452

>>313450

Well why the fuck are you telling that guy? Also, the Alice maid in the kitsune mansion will be named Alice (if that ever gets finished).


 No.313455

>>313452

Accidental reply bro sorry.

Will that ever actually get finished though?


 No.313522

File: 554e04f1de36107⋯.png (1.09 MB, 1084x913, 1084:913, Shokugeki no Soma 2 05.png)

There are only a handful of instances that mention actual food that's not transformative or fetish related, and since some of the camp companions have received some cooking scenes, I figured the player should be able to as well. The cooking is very straight forward, and so is collecting ingredients: you select ingredients to cook, and if it's a valid mix of them you cook a meal. It can always be expanded upon by making it more involved or in-depth, but it should suffice as proposed.

Cooking & Culinary Mechanics Outline

https://pastebin.com/raw/CYYKcnZN

Cooked meals come in all shapes and sizes and will all offer small, (mostly) temporary buffs for the player. Some could add bonus damage to ranged for a day, give a chunk of XP, be less likely to get stunned, you name it. If people would want they could easily write specific scenes for gifting food, eating it with your loved ones at camp, teaching Kiha how not to kill with her particular culinary "talent", it holds potential for a lot more scenes and interactions at your lively camp to happen.

As it stands, this is only a proposal for the mechanic, I want to hear if this is even something people want or if working on something like this is unwanted. Discuss the possibilities, propose recipes and ingredients, do whatever it is you do.


 No.313525

>>313522

>teaching Kiha how not to kill with her particular culinary "talent"

That part's in the game, it's the part where she actually doesn't that needs to get written.


 No.313526

>>313522

>That bit about peppers

Just as a reminder if cooked they lose their transformative propieties (for some reason)


 No.313527

>>313522

More content is more good.


 No.313528

>>313522

>Food

>Honest to god food to eat and consume

>No more living off biscuits

Thank god


 No.313532

>>313522

>Just a simple nondescript egg. Can be found in the wild, can be bought somewhere.

From the farm?

>Finding a maple tree in the Forest.

Since you usually care about realism, I'll note that it's not that simple.

>Obtained from Fairies.

How?

>Found in the desert. Almost completely dried out mango.

Why?

>Cocoa Bean

>Found in/from ???.

This is why we need that jungle.


 No.313533

>>313522

Carrots aren't listed there feelsbadman. I think you get one from whitney for the snowman/woman. Could probably just expand her farm to have more produce in general. things like lettuce, tomatos, potatoes. Could chop off Naga's tails to take them home to cook and eat them.

I also still wanna do that camp garden.

>>313526

I wonder if that's the case for some of the other items as well. Burn, broil, or roast the furfag magic out of them.


 No.313534

>>313533

Does that mean we can cook blossom now?


 No.313536

>>313218

A reminder that this exists


 No.313543

File: 4b3bdad31083371⋯.jpg (14.42 KB, 211x255, 211:255, (you).jpg)

>>313536

I appreciate the (you), but it's been less than a day, you don't need to bump it. Taking this opportunity to give an implementation update: I've finished all of Sylvia's stuff and am ~40% done with Dolores. Should have a test build out by the end of the week.


 No.313544

File: 299bd578f12aeee⋯.jpg (91.21 KB, 678x1000, 339:500, 9e4.jpg)

>>313534

>MRW

It would make more sense to cook her limbs then to eat them raw. First things first though I wanna finish Snuggles and Smiles and get them ready to go with editing before starting any other waifus. Even then next should probably be the vamp sisters or maybe i'll just ask what people want more. One step at a time.

>>313536

I might not comment on it, but i'm really looking forward to moth waifu being fully in the game. I just don't wanna spoil myself with her content. I honestly bet a lot of other people are the same.


 No.313545

>>313218

Little girls shouldn't be playing with strange books. If you fail against the Outsider after it's summoned but couldn't send it back, will that impact later on?


 No.313547

>>313545

little girls should TEKELI-LI TEKE-

LI-LI


 No.313548

>>313522

>eggs

Arian eats (and even offers one to the champion) her non-transformative eggs, so that could be one source.


 No.313561

>>313522

Telly teaching us how to make sweets when?

Spirits made by Rathazul when?

Kiha teaching us how to cook things with dragon breath when?

Cook history when?


 No.313576

>>313218

>Despite what the notes says

note

>And there you see it

"And" is an odd transition from the previous sentence, I would have expected something like a "but", though you already start the preceding paragraph with that.

>one major difference—whatever

Don't be so afraid of the colon, it doesn't bite.

>given short of a time

Missing something, a "how" perhaps?

>but when she does, she steps back, and

Unfinished.

>You haven't see

seen

>almost in arms reach

arm's

>seems to shift in her face

"on" her face, or can you actually use "in" here? You do use it with "expression", after all, but it does sound wrong.

>and you're neither strong nor quick enough to overcome them

A wording like that could imply that you only need high strength or speed, not both, to succeed. Nothing big, just pointing it out.

>and bear witness!

Needs a certain silly mode Mad Max reference.

>Dolores hands

Possessive form.

>[if (book kept) This is what you gave me

Forgot the dialogue parser for the entire paragraph.

>a hole in the fabric

into

>and when they moves

move

>something is… [i: wrong]

Repetition of exactly that, italics and everything. Intended?

>she snaps out of it, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye

Positively cheesy.

>a diagram that you don't really understand

I feel like you've been using "x that you don't understand" a bit too much by now.

>back to whence it came

I'd keep it because common errors are fine and sometimes even encouraged in dialogue, but as a note: "whence" already means "to the place from which" here, so the "to" is redundant, and "back whence it came" is the correct phrasing. You do see "from whence" often enough however, which is equally redundant and debatable, but somehow widely accepted.

>Of course honey

Should I be jubilant to catch you without one of these? Comma before "honey".

>She turns to you

"She" could easily parse as Sylvia, better make clear it's Dolores.

>but different in ways you can't quite see

This strikes me as odd. If you don't see them, then how did you notice it's different in the first place?

>[father], just know that…

There's potential for some joke about death flags here.

>you feel for all the world like you're

I never heard this before, but I honestly can't tell if it's a mistake or some phrasing I'm just not familiar with.

>a single syllable which you can't quite understand

See a couple points above.

>could possibly be used to reverse the initial ritual.

Unfinished after this.

>//Losing in combat (WIP)

At least you admit it's not finished. Or is it supposed to be? If so, then it doesn't blend into the ending.

>I…]—she looks down

Either ellipsis or em dashes, not both. An ellipsis isn't needed since em dashes can already imply a pause in the spoken phrase.

>Well, I'm not always… of my right mind, either, so I know how you feel.

How brave of her to admit that.

>and it is…

Special ellipsis, and the following sentence is exactly how you would handle an interruption if you wanted to keep the ellipsis instead of em dashes.

>her small wings beating with

Unfinished.

>as much as I would like to drag you back for a round of stress-relief, I won't keep you any longer

How devilish to tease me like so.

>makes your head starts

start

>shifts slightly, and the world seems to shift

That's shift number 2 and 3 in a single paragraph.

>as if [a splinter]

[]

>in the beings surface

being's

>then stays still apparently having

You're slipping indeed. Comma after "still".

>Does 50% max health damage.

Considering that most people will have the regeneration perk, getting the loss scene in only three turns will be difficult.

>sucked back to whence it came

I'm not going to gloss over this mistake in narration, though.

Overall, I think you've hit it. Only the loss scene could use some work, it feels somewhat lacklustre, though I can't put my finger on why. That, and the unfinished passages, of course. Though with this, are you just going to let it stand like this? It doesn't really give much closure, so at least talking to Dolores about it once you're back should be necessary. Can't just witness all that and then act as if nothing has happened.


 No.313603

>>313576

>"And" is an odd transition from the previous sentence

Added "But no matter what idea you come up with, you start to become less and less sure that you'll be able to find the meeting place," to the end of the last paragraph.

>Unfinished.

Jesus, I really did just black out in the middle of a sentence there.

>"on" her face, or can you actually use "in" here? You do use it with "expression", after all, but it does sound wrong.

Feels right, and it's definitely right with "expression."

>A wording like that could imply that you only need high strength or speed, not both, to succeed. Nothing big, just pointing it out.

Eh.

>Needs a certain silly mode Mad Max reference.

Eh.

>Possessive form.

Which, as we all know, includes a seconds "s."

>into

No, it's "in." "Punch a hole in" is pretty rigid.

>Positively cheesy.

Kinda felt that way, but is it problematically cheesy?

>but as a note: "whence" already means "to the place from which" here

Don't know about that. Doesn't fit the general patterning of "wh" words, and no dictionary gives any gloss which indicates destination. Not saying it's right, but I don't think that's why it's wrong. Also, Dolores is probably a person who'd get it right, so I'm changing it.

>Should I be jubilant to catch you without one of these?

It was bound to happen someday, and here's as good a place as any. I'm honestly surprised I don't make more of these errors, given how dumb most of my typos are. Doesn't make this sting any less.

>"She" could easily parse as Sylvia, better make clear it's Dolores.

The "she turns to Sylvia" earlier sets this one up.

>This strikes me as odd. If you don't see them, then how did you notice it's different in the first place?

You saw two big circles full of squiggles, and you can tell they're not the same squiggles, but it's not like you could recognize/process the full pattern (also, they're magic, non-Euclidean squiggles). Threw a "properly" onto the end.

>There's potential for some joke about death flags here.

Not seeing what you mean, but I will make you awkwardly explain yourself.

>I never heard this before, but I honestly can't tell if it's a mistake or some phrasing I'm just not familiar with.

#2

>See a couple points above.

Incomprehensibility is pretty standard with Lovecraftian stuff, and this one would even make sense if you just can't hear her well or whatever.

>Unfinished after this.

Fuck.

>At least you admit it's not finished.

I actually just forgot to take the label off. Changed the last line to "You simply don't know, but there's nothing left to do but pick yourself back up and assess the situation."

>How devilish to tease me like so.

I mean, you can just go there right after. How would one even approach writing post-"saving our daughter and/or the world" sex?

>That's shift number 2 and 3 in a single paragraph.

I'm holding myself to six. If I ever break that threshold, I'll find the nearest bridge.

>[]

I really didn't think I left this much in. Suppose it just bolsters this week's wordcount, what a masterful plan.

>You're slipping indeed.

God, what's wrong with me?

>Considering that most people will have the regeneration perk, getting the loss scene in only three turns will be difficult.

Well impossible, actually, and that was kind of the intent. Suppose it makes more sense to do enough that it's clear you'll lose if you do it again (given that you already basically have to want to).

>Only the loss scene could use some work, it feels somewhat lacklustER, though I can't put my finger on why.

Well that's not helpful. Was it just anticlimactic? It's intended to feel that way a bit, as it invites the idea that things aren't really over (regardless of if they are or not). Or is there some part of it that doesn't flow well?

>Though with this, are you just going to let it stand like this?

The tapestry-making scene was going to have a bit of resolution, but I 'was' getting the sinking feeling that I'd probably have to add another talk scene.

>>313545

Who knows? I tease, but I legitimately don't know the extent of followup I'll write to this (though they're probably be some, whenever magic gets added).

>>313544

Thanks for the kind words. I hope to deliver soon.


 No.313636

>>313603

>so you begin, drawing a rough approximation

The comma makes it more awkward than it has to be. My mind automatically reads it with no comma and either wants that thing gone or something like "without delay" or "with it" in front of it to make the distinction more pronounced.

>That done, you begin

Repetition of "begin".

>words that you don't understand

Now you're just mocking me. To make it clear, I'm not objecting to the PC being a dimwit, but to overusing that exact phrasing.

>and whatever your doing

you're

>turn its attention toward you

You use "towards" everywhere else. Which is interesting in its own right, what would the founding fathers think of such treachery?

>No, it's "in." "Punch a hole in" is pretty rigid.

The mighty internet is trying to tell me that it's an idiom for weakening something. What it sounds to me is that you're punching a hole that was already in the fabric beforehand, not that you're producing a new one. "Into" describes a movement, so I'm puzzled as to why you wouldn't use it here, since you'd physically move your hand "into" the fabric to make said hole.

>but is it problematically cheesy?

I does make me chuckle, but that might just be me.

>no dictionary gives any gloss which indicates destination

Merriam-Webster: "from what place, source, or cause". Uses "from" instead of "to", but that still would make it two directional prepositions and hence redundant. In general, whither, hither, thither, yonder, whence, hence, and thence come with their own built-in prepositions, so to speak, and take no additional ones outside of dialect. Come to think of it, it's the same for modern locative adverbs like "where", here", "and "there", as long as they're actually used as adverbs, and not as nouns or in idioms.

>Not seeing what you mean, but I will make you awkwardly explain yourself.

Then allow me to do so, and I take it you don't play visual novels. Death flags are events, actions, and options that are perceived to set off a character's death, usually in the near future. One classic example is someone telling, or at least planning to tell, their crush they love them right before a battle. As you may have guessed, that character will then get gutted and raped by ogres in front of their loved one's eyes for dramatic and/or comedic effect. So what I was getting at is that Dolores was trying to do exactly that here, so the PC could then interrupt her in silly mode to stop her from "raising her own death flag" or something along those lines.

>How would one even approach writing post-"saving our daughter and/or the world" sex?

With a keyboard, most likely.

>Well that's not helpful.

Wasn't meant to be.

So the first thing is that there's no description of what the inside looks like, and the "As if you were resting on a cloud" summons the image of a white expanse into my mind. Is that really what you're going for? Then, what about your most important bodily function: can you breathe? What do you hear, smell, see? No need to answer all, two should be the best number. The "However, you don't die" feels like it should be a new paragraph, as it shouldn't immediately be clear that that won't happen, so that's a flow issue there. The "eye" could come with a size descriptor, perhaps a colour as well. And then you're suddenly on the ground. Did you lose consciousness, or why was there no falling sensation? Did it teleport you to the ground? You're patting yourself down, but I got the impression you were lying on the ground, so that would be somewhat awkward. You're also starting two consecutive paragraphs with "word word no time", which doesn't help.

Then, word(ing) choices:

"hits you straight in the stomach" - "gut" has a more violent connotation.

"you don't die" - Since your life is at the tentacles of that creature, it would be more appropriate to state that it's not killing you, instead of something this passive.

"an eye opens in front of you" - considering you're panting and shouting in the next sentence, I'd reword that to something more threatening.

"You feel vague, strange sensations" - feels too unspecific, especially if you have to—for a second time in a row—clear it up with an "as if" right after. Is it a tugging, a poking? Where do you feel it, your butthole? I'm sorry if that's the first thing I think of when I read "you're being probed". Or is it perhaps not even physical?

I know I'm being invasive here, but hey, you asked.


 No.313641

>>313636

On the whence issue, I am wondering why it's "go back whence you came" and not "go back whither you came from", but perhaps there's some dumb mistake I'm making.


 No.313642

Lorepeople help. Do demons get periods?


 No.313645

File: ba092e9021ada35⋯.png (759.09 KB, 931x708, 931:708, 19290442050004.png)

>>313642

what kind of question is that

are you insane


 No.313656

>>313636

>The comma makes it more awkward than it has to be.

You're parsing it differently. I'm saying that you begin the general process of doing the thing and making the participle modify the subject rather than part of the predicate.

>I'm not objecting to the PC being a dimwit, but to overusing that exact phrasing.

But I changed some of the others. I just did another to be safe, but I think you're misunderstanding how many of these are mutually exclusive. Okay, 'that' was mocking you. To clarify again, the PC is not being a dimwit. It's pretty standard in the genre; you can't understand stuff because it's incomprehensible by nature.

>The mighty internet is trying to tell me that it's an idiom for weakening something.

No, it just means you punch a hole in something. E.g., I punched a hole in the wall. That's just what people write. You're overthinking this.

>I does make me chuckle, but that might just be me.

I'll probably rewrite it a bit tomorrow.

>Uses "from" instead of "to"

I understand that you're a poor, ignorant foreign speaker, but those are actually two different words. I was saying that the "to" is wrong not because it's semantically redundant, but because it doesn't fit there.

>Then allow me to do so, and I take it you don't play visual novels.

Well that would be impossible, but I don't read them very frequently, no.

>So the first thing is that there's no description of what the inside looks like

>as you're drawn into the orb, into this otherworldly black mist.

As it turns out, black mist looks like black mist.

>"As if you were resting on a cloud" summons the image of a white expanse into my mind.

Well it's describing a tactile sensation, not a visual one.

>can you breathe?

I didn't say you couldn't, so yes.

>What do you hear, smell, see?

It's cosmic horror, why would I want to bog it down with too many specific sensual descriptions? The whole point of it is that it's incomprehensible. I cannot imagine a world where I'd want to describe smell here outside of brimstone if I wanted some sort of hell connection (which I don't). I do seeing. I do feeling (as discussed, + the probing). Hearing doesn't really fit well, as I haven't had it really make any sounds. The closest thing would be freaky mind whispers, but the PC wouldn't understand them, so I don't think you'd like it.

>The "However, you don't die" feels like it should be a new paragraph

I guess.

>The "eye" could come with a size descriptor

My bad, shoulda done that. No color, though.

>And then you're suddenly on the ground. Did you lose consciousness, or why was there no falling sensation? Did it teleport you to the ground?

I feel like you don't understand one of the most basic things about horror writing: the reader is better at scaring themselves than you. It's way, way better to give them a vague enough impression of something that they can fill in the blanks. This means that things like sensory overflow or worrying overmuch about the exact mechanics of something can completely kill the mood. I'm not quite sure what you hate so much about uncertainty, as I want readers to be a bit confused. This is intentional whiplash, was that not clear from the way it was presented? You're asking me to make things more "violent," less "passive," more "threatening," but that's not where the horror is meant to come from. You're not supposed to be scared because of some physical threat, you're supposed to be scared because you do not understand the thing in front of you, its intentions, or its capabilities. And I'm saying "scared" a lot, but there are any number of appropriate reactions (as many people don't really get scared from media).

>You're also starting two consecutive paragraphs with "word word no time", which doesn't help.

Well that's just plain ol' repetition.

>it would be more appropriate to state that it's not killing you, instead of something this passive.

But it's supposed to be passive. It removes any of the focus on this thing's killing intent (as its motivations are unclear) and withholds some information from the reader. All they have in that moment is confirmation of their own status, and that's the point.

>I'd reword that to something more threatening.

Well the clarification of the size should be enough. Also, looking into the eyes of beings like that making you go mad is a trope.

>feels too unspecific

I literally use the word "vague."

>Or is it perhaps not even physical?

Perhaps. Once again, filling in the blank is better.

I feel like the problem comes down to engagement. I don't know if it's because you're not into this type of thing, if it's because you're in an editing mindset, or it's because the flow is naturally completely destroyed due to the format that this is in, but the intent is that the reader get swept up, and that they don't sweat small details like what this eldritch horror smells like.


 No.313657

>>313645

Well no there's a number of reasons this is important.


 No.313658

Come to think of it, how come the player character doesn't menstruate? If they're the right kind of lizard they'll lay eggs, they'll go into heat if they're the right kind of mammal, why don't they bleed if they're a teen/adult that's mainly human? We're completely missing out on both that aspect as well as any potential for period sex.


 No.313662

>>313642

Probably only if they want to. I'd imagine it comes with the idealized and perfect bodies they seem to all get. I'd even bet demons don't shit unless they want to. Can't succubi survive off cum alone?


 No.313663

>>313658

Most people don't find periods sexy. Most dudes I know are pretty revolted by the though of blood coming out of where you pee.


 No.313664

>>313663

>Most people don't find periods sexy.

Most people don't find 90% of what's in this game sexy.

>blood coming out of where you pee.

That's not how that works at all.


 No.313667

>>313664

I know it's uterine lining, but that doesn't change the fact that it's gross.


 No.313668

>>313664

>>313663

its is on-par with other waste products fetish like scat

fucking disgusting


 No.313670

I mean maybe it is gross but that doesn't mean it's not damn hot to a lot of people. Same as how most people would be disgusted by the underaged stuff, the gore stuff, or the incest stuff.

I'll ACKNOWLEDGE that it's gross, but that doesn't change how hot it is. I just super want my player character to get knotted by a dog dick while on her period and let out a pink flood of mixed blood and cum when it's pulled out. Is that so wrong? Is that really any worse than fucking literally children/babies?


 No.313674

Fuck periods not like you will get them if you are anything but human anyways


 No.313675

>>313674

Yeah and it might make playing as a human (or mostly human) more interesting.


 No.313678

>>313675

Well that explains why you never see a female human around doesn't it?


 No.313679

>>313678

I mean, personally, I think I'd rather bleed than need to lay eggs like certain races. Laying eggs does not sound like a nice time.


 No.313680

>>313656

I feel like you're misunderstanding me as well, here.

I can't say I'm an avid reader of horror, cosmic or not, and I am approaching this from a fantasy-focused angle, but I am not saying that uncertainty is bad and that you should describe all your senses in minute detail at any given time. What I was trying to convey is that you weren't giving me, as a reader, enough of them to form a sufficient image to go by. Mentioning smell was a mistake by me, yes, since that would only come into play if there's a particular unusual or strong one, but you still neglected the visuals. "otherworldly black mist", okay, cool, that's the outside. But what does it look inside? You yourself label it as a cosmic horror now, so who's not to say there's a whole bloody galaxy or a gingerbread house with prancing unicorns in there? I don't fucking know, cause you're not telling me shit. Then comes that cloud comparison. All right, clouds. It's a tactile feeling, but you just brought "clouds" into the reader's mind with that. Clouds are white, a lot of the time. Guess what colour I'm now imagining. And then we get to sound. Well, you just got gobbled up by some tentacle thing in front of your daughter and possibly your waifu as well. You don't think there's gonna be any noise, or that the absence of which would be noteworthy? Feeling you have covered, that's good, but what about your mind, your thoughts, your feel-feels? Isn't that the big thing with Lovecraftian stories? You amended that now, but that was another sensation that was missing. You want to point out changes, threats, oddities. Now you're doing that much better, smell or not, but you at least got more sensations that I would expect to be different in the belly of an Old One—air, several feelings, touch, feeling, more touch, another feeling, vision. Before that, from the point of entry you had feeling, touch, touch, vision. Do you get what I was missing, there? Perhaps my way of putting my thoughts to paper is just shit, so sorry for that.

>but that's not where the horror is meant to come from

Are you trying to tell me that physical threat plays no role?

>withholds some information from the reader

Stating that it doesn't kill you would leave the reader none the wiser as well. There is no intent behind such statement.

>I literally use the word "vague."

Yes, that's a pretty "unspecific" word.

And I get it, horror, uncertainty, tentacles are unfathomable, overdescription kills suspense. But so does having to ask myself the most basic questions when reading. There needs to be some description of what the character immediately perceives when confronted with something entirely unknown, or else those questions will be the first things on my mind and linger there for eternity. Now that's a horror.

>an gargantuan eye

a


 No.313689

>>313664

>That's not how that works at all.

He said "most dudes" though, so he's right. Most dudes do think girls pee from their vaginas, all the different parts down there are just mashed together into "sex hole" in their minds.


 No.313692

>>313689

Most dudes can't be that fucking retarded.


 No.313693

>>313692

Long time ago i made the pee from the vagina comment to a friend of mine so until that day i was fucking retarded about it so there is that


 No.313709

>>313642

>Lorepeople help. Do demons get periods?

I'd go with "if they want to" as >>313662 said.

>>313658

>Come to think of it, how come the player character doesn't menstruate?

Too much complexity for too little benefit, and very little demand. To be worthwhile you'd almost need to make it a major game mechanic, which would work better in an entirely different game that won't be ready for even a demo release anytime soon.

>>313561

>Kiha teaching us how to cook things

That can't possibly be a good idea.

>>313522

>Cake Mix

I think this might be too modern.

>Dried Pasta

>Can be sold in the Naga Village from cocnagaanon or another desert related thing (roaming desert merchant for other stock as well?).

Why desert-related? Just so the desert offers some ingredients? I think pasta makes more sense as something you can make yourself, all you really need is flour and water.

>Mangy Mango

>Found in the desert. Almost completely dried out mango.

Even more uncertain here, why would you find tropical fruits in the desert? You can grow mangos in the desert, but it takes a lot of water, they won't grow there naturally.

>Ice

This makes me think about how ingredient gathering should work. If it works like any other "find an item" encounter, that could mean searching the glacial rift for hours, failing to find any ice; some things are just too commonplace for random encounters.

I also never decided on the exact gathering mechanics for crafting, but some of the options I've considered are a dedicated "gathering" action distinct from exploring (maybe only for certain ingredients/materials), or random "you find ingredients on the way home" events when returning to camp after a normal encounter (toggleable). You could also have camp followers go out and gather ingredients for you.


 No.313713

>>313679

Well arian seems to be fine with getting free food so there is that


 No.313715

Do you prefer single long scenes, or shorter reactive ones?

I usually start skimming the text if a scene is longer than something like two screens.


 No.313717

>>313715

I prefer long reactive ones.


 No.313720

>>313715

1-3 full screens total (not all at once) is what I'd aim for for a standard sex scene. Choices and chances to react are good, but constant interruptions are bad, you don't want a sex scene interrupted by a button click every third paragraph. At least half a screen of text before a choice sounds like a good guideline.


 No.313743

>>313526

Do you have a reference to this being the case in-game?

>>313532

>From the farm?

I know Whitney has horses and cows, but does she have chickens?

>Since you usually care about realism, I'll note that it's not that simple.

It's a large forest, and these encounters (or whatever they end up being) shouldn't be too common. So the odd maple tree every many encounters shouldn't be too much of a problem.

>How?

Can be other sources too. I'd imagine it's a rare alchemical reagent as well, it could easily be a reward from randomized dungeons if those get made, I'm sure demons would love the stuff to work with.

>Why?

Dried fruits can often be tasty (not when left in the desert, but fantasy game), and in a desert it wouldn't have too much flesh on it to begin with. See other reply.

>This is why we need that jungle.

That reminds me that Oca had plans for a mosquito girl and that there's a bat girl in the code.

>>313533

>Carrots aren't listed there feelsbadman. I think you get one from whitney for the snowman/woman.

The irony is that in my Nieve Fixes paste I went into detail on the carrot and changing it up on how to obtain it. Of course this would be something I'd forget to write down, even if it's a proof of concept paste.

>>313548

>Arian eats (and even offers one to the champion) her non-transformative eggs

That boy ain't right.

>>313709

I didn't want the foods and ingredients fully grounded in realism with them being 1;1 with real-life equivalents. Rather I'd have them be something that exists but adapted to its environment, this is a fantasy setting after all and it leaves out the pitfalls, restrictions, and even obligations that real ingredients would bring.

>I think this might be too modern.

It's what they prep the day before baking their goods, it's really just a mix of flour, milk, and sugar. I don't see why they couldn't sell it to you for a decent price before they make their own goods from it.

>Why desert-related? Just so the desert offers some ingredients?

Mostly because of the dried aspect. While it's childish reasoning, it's something that will click in players their heads thematically. I also like the idea of dried pasta being something easy to carry around and prepare in the desert if you have some water on you to boil it, a local kind of dish, really.

>Even more uncertain here, why would you find tropical fruits in the desert?

I'll admit this one was really just something to make the list longer, but it's also an example of a more fantasy setting than realism. I didn't convey it with the wording properly, but "mangy" is part of the fruit, like naming something a "Tel'Adre Turnip" if it's a specific subspecies grown only there. There are also oasis' in the desert that can have the odd tree grow around it, it's not outside the realm of possibility.

>searching the glacial rift for hours, failing to find any ice; some things are just too commonplace for random encounters.

And this is why I like the more free fantasy option of making it some special kind of ice formed by ice magic or whatever you have it. It allows for freedom of bullshitting, but isn't an issue story wise.

Locale specific semi-fantasy ingredients are the more interesting approach and a way to dress the world and its people up further, rather than just simple real life equivalents. It's hard to convey what I mean with all this, but hopefully I got the point across properly.


 No.313745

>>313743

>Do you have a reference to this being the case in-game?

Sadly no i am going from what other people said on this thread


 No.313753

>>313680

>that's the outside. But what does it look inside?

It says you plunge "into" the mist, and the cloud image reinforces that type of atmosphere, so I'd thought it was clear that it's the same, but I'll add a bit.

>You don't think there's gonna be any noise, or that the absence of which would be noteworthy?

Absence is something I can work with. "There's no sound, and you can't see anything in the billowing black smoke, but you're certainly still conscious."

>>313743

>So the odd maple tree every many encounters shouldn't be too much of a problem.

The problem isn't finding a maple tree, it's that properly extracting syrup isn't a simple process.

>Can be other sources too.

I just meant how are you getting the tears out of the faerie?

>Do you have a reference to this being the case in-game?

From Katherine:

>Unfortunately, I was too naive to realize that raw canine peppers have their transformative effects, and these were raw peppers.

I also vaguely remember it being somewhere else.


 No.313755

>>313753

>how are you getting the tears out of the faerie?

Easy you bulli her


 No.313761

>>313670

>knotted by a dog dick while on her period and let out a pink flood of mixed blood and cum when it's pulled out.

Better to be a virgin, I say. The first thing you get up in there is a dog knot, oh you'd bleed.

>>313679

Egg-laying is more gross than menstruation.

>>313713

That's not free food, it takes bodily resources to produce them. It's like if you jack off into your own mouth—oh, right, this is CoC. Carry on.

It's so dumb that you can keep satiety max'd by exclusively drinking your own semen

>>313715

Short scenes, I skip things that go much more than a single screen without a branching choice

>>313720

Agreeable.

>>313743

Cooking system seems entirely like clutter to me, serving no purpose other than to be an extra mechanic. Nobody has trouble keeping themselves fed, and if it's so problematic, make places sell meals you eat there. They seems like needless bloat.


 No.313765

>>313761

>Nobody has trouble keeping themselves fed, and if it's so problematic, make places sell meals you eat there. They seems like needless bloat.

Small buffs, new interactions with your companions, a "collection" via the recipe book, items, depth to the world building, and more depending on how he makes it. It's obviously not for your autistic survival game mode and only an afterthought to that, anon, the way it’s presented already offers more than transformations do.


 No.313769

>>313743

>it's really just a mix of flour, milk, and sugar

So are you talking about batter rather than dry mix?

>I didn't convey it with the wording properly, but "mangy" is part of the fruit, like naming something a "Tel'Adre Turnip" if it's a specific subspecies grown only there.

Fully unique things like whiskerfruit work better than fantasy varieties of real things with familiar names, in my opinion. Unless the familiar thing serves a specific purpose that won't work with substitutes.

>Do you have a reference to this being the case in-game?

The bakery mentions that the raw ingredients they sell have transformative properties until they're cooked.

>I also like the idea of dried pasta being something easy to carry around and prepare in the desert if you have some water on you to boil it, a local kind of dish, really.

Even in a fantasy setting I have a hard time imagining people in the desert spending that much water on something other than drinking. Dried foods that you can eat dry, sure, but not food that requires you to waste precious water (even if you can drink the leftover pasta water, it wouldn't be as good and a lot would be boiled away). Maybe if there was a large supply of undrinkable (but still suitable for cooking) water, like salt water, but CoC's desert doesn't have that.

>>313761

Plenty of people like crafting for the sake of crafting. It also adds variety, more things to do to extend the game (which will be needed when we eventually flesh out the rushed main plot), more customisation, roleplaying. People have been asking for cooking for years.


 No.313806

>>313769

>Cooking pasta would be a waste of water

That and also that most of the water sources in mareth are corrupted to shit , leaving only a few untouched clean water sources.


 No.313831

>>313761

When i said free food i did not meant it as in actually free food…


 No.313854

Are there any unique scenes if your character is an Elder?


 No.313859

File: b5b12f87ee48fc6⋯.gif (1.63 MB, 238x178, 119:89, 1376784899299.gif)

is there any unique content with the bloomers or ChildPanties or are they safe to sell? Always looking for more loli stuff


 No.313862

>>313854

Not really. A few small things in Ingnam, and a single word for the gargoyle. That's the type of thing people would really appreciate, though, if you're interested in that type of content and are willing to produce it.

>>313859

No.


 No.313866

>>313862

I would love to, but I doubt I could write any thing even mildly coherent, but yeah I would love some elder content myself. I love making my character the wise friendly grandpa sent to save the world.


 No.313868

>>313862

>A few small things in Ingnam, and a single word for the gargoyle.

Also when talking to Jojo about your past.


 No.313872

>>313866

All you have to "write" are adaptations for scenes to account being an old fart. You really only have to make small edits and changes for things like this.

If you know how to navigate the Git, find the scene you want to adapt and copy it to a text editing program, otherwise just copy it from in-game. Everything you need is in the OP, and especially the writing guide can help you with the standards and conventions if you have trouble with them as well as general advice.


 No.313888

>>313866

> I doubt I could write any thing even mildly coherent

There's certainly never any harm in trying, especially with how much people here can help you improve your writing.


 No.313899

>>312574

Even with all that I still consider her a step up from Marble. She's the only npc I actively avoid and refuse to recruit. I also remember her author being a self righteous prick back in the day that would actively ban people that said they didn't like Marble.


 No.313920

Reciprocity:

>to lift your entire tail out of the water and around Marielle.

"Lift[…]around Marielle" is a bit off.

>Though she doesn't look too keen on being wrapped in snake, all of a sudden.

This is a fragment, which could work if it was preceded by something that'd make it make sense (e.g., some not completely negative reaction).

>something about 'scales' and 'susceptivity'.

Well now you've got me curious how "susceptivity" is relevant.

>It's a strange, foreign sensation, having your serpentine half caressed in such an intimate fashion,

I don't know why tail rubbing would be all that foreign.

>but just as unwilling to. You delightfully shiver.

Change the "delightfully" to "in delight," as you're not making something else delighted. Also, not everyone might be into being edged.

>with an almost orgasmic stroke

But you're the one experience pleasure, so why is her stroke orgasmic?

>in your soon-to-be grasp

This doesn't work. The construction implies she's currently in something which will become a grasp, but what is that thing? Also, you're already wrapped around her, so how is she not already in your grasp?

>cooling perhaps the both of you

The perhaps/its position makes this awkward, but it also doesn't make sense. How is she cooling you with warm water, and how would that cool her at any temperature?

>your muscles slacking once more and giving her some room to wriggle again

The position of the "again" implies that she was wriggling earlier, but you didn't say that. Also, this doesn't really work that well as an absolute element, as it's not really related to anything in the rest of the sentence.

>her semi-massage got rid of quite a few knots on the way.

Do snake tails get knots?

>She's adamantly avoiding your [vagina]

I think the parser isn't the best here. "She's adamantly avoiding your drooling horse cunt" and similar outputs just seem like they'd be comical.

>the stress of long journeys and arduous battles flowing away between the girl's fingertips, gradually, satisfyingly, dissolving into the cleansing pond.

Add an "and" after "fingertips" (or after the last comma if that was your intention. I hope this uncertainty demonstrates the necessity of adding something).

>her eyes follow your form as you shake off the last bits of somnolence

You were sleepy?

>Her thighs shifting, she's desperately clawing for the right words.

I recommend simple present here (i.e., "she claws").

>Well, you're not going to push the issue, if she doesn't seem to want to.

I recommend removing the "seem to" or changing the "if" to "since."

>Just before you can finish up and catch her staring however, she hastily turns away

How do you both see and not see that.

>pulling her out of whatever daydream she was in again.

repetition of "again" (and it's a bit awkward here)

>seem like hardly a bother to you

hardly seem like

>And you now smell like pine cones.

Why? What? Starting this off with "and" as well as the lack of details is too abrupt.

>You can feel her muscles shivering as you run your fingers over them

This makes it sound like she has no skin (make sure to get on writing that variation, by the way).

>She's panting when you step back, her eyes blinking rapidly, torn between burning your nude form into her memory and cautiously avoiding you. Well, you're done here.

Not much of a transition there.

>With her gaze having settled on staring at a particular spot on the water's mirroring surface, you're not sure what exactly she's thanking you for

But you know exactly what, and you even know that she liked it. What are you trying to say? Also, gazes don't generally stare (eyes do), so I recommend removing "staring at."

>though you can feel her eyeing you every time she thinks you aren't looking, her brow creased

That last detail is awkwardly crammed into this sentence, and it also doesn't make sense, as you aren't looking at her.

>Whatever is in that water, that

Probably "it."

>truly works wonders to reinvigorate your tired body.

I recommend making this past tense, as it's very odd to construe something this specific as a general/habitual action.


 No.313968

File: 896c306e74861c5⋯.jpg (450.76 KB, 777x912, 259:304, by_akehi_yuki__05614a90b8d….jpg)

Wrote more for the bird. This has interactions with Smiles in it as a baby and toddler now. Such a playing peek-a-boo. Also tried writing some lewd scenes for Smiles in there. No penetration, but like fondling, sniffing her and a little licking her. Might go and add training her to blow you. They overall made me feel uncomfortable, so I'm not confident in how they turned out.

https://pastebin.com/3LzC1RWX

I guess next i'll start some camp events, like her laying the egg, egg hatching, and her giving her backstory about what happened with her family. Then, start writing up more Smiles interactions for when she's fully grown.


 No.313992

>>313866

>but yeah I would love some elder content myself

What kind of content would you like to see?


 No.313993

>>313920

>Well now you've got me curious how "susceptivity" is relevant.

She's musing how careful she has to be with your scales and how susceptible they would be, though she's somewhat misusing that word.

>I don't know why tail rubbing would be all that foreign.

How often does the PC get their tail rubbed? There's a nice scene with the naga, I believe, but that's about it. I'm kinda imagining it like belly rubs, in that it feels incredible, but rarely ever happens.

>But you're the one experience pleasure, so why is her stroke orgasmic?

Can't you use that so denote something that could induce an orgasm or comparable pleasure? I'll axe it anyway to tone down the edging, but "orgasmic music" is an example that gets used often enough. The music itself isn't jizzing in your face, nor is the orchestra, but it instead invokes that feeling in the listener.

>The perhaps/its position makes this awkward

I put it there to emphasise that you're not in her shoes and don't know what she's thinking right now.

>How is she cooling you with warm water

Cooling your temper, your head, your passion, not your physical body. I think any temperature of water would be fine for that purpose, if splashed on you.

>it's not really related to anything in the rest of the sentence

It's a direct consequence. Does it need a conjunction?

>Do snake tails get knots?

Muscles do.

>I hope this uncertainty demonstrates the necessity of adding something

I suppose you mean the possibility of her fingertips dissolving. But if I meant that, there would be no comma before "gradually".

>How do you both see and not see that.

Had the narrator mistakenly removed a bit further than usual for a moment.

>Why? What? Starting this off with "and" as well as the lack of details is too abrupt.

The soap. It's scented. With conifers.

>hardly seem like

Isn't English bendable enough to accept both? It's either hardly a bother or it hardly seems like one.

>What are you trying to say?

That you're not sure if she's thanking you for the massage or for stopping and not going further.


 No.313994

>>313920

>Do snake tails get knots?

I can't find any definite confirmation, but in theory they should, their muscles aren't all that different from other animals. But I'd expect naga scales to be thick enough to make it really hard to tell.


 No.313995

>>313992

Nothing to particularly specific, as unhelpful as that is. Maybe just some flavor text here and there, something helps to acknowledge that you are older, wiser. Maybe some characters acknowledging that you are in fact older.


 No.314009

>>313993

>How often does the PC get their tail rubbed?

Whenever they're moving?

>Can't you use that so denote something that could induce an orgasm or comparable pleasure?

I would say so, and every dictionary I've checked supports it. By far the most common usage of "orgasmic" in my experience is referring to the taste of food. Applying the term to the thing experiencing pleasure seems to be the unusual niche usage here, not the other way around.

>Isn't English bendable enough to accept both? It's either hardly a bother or it hardly seems like one.

Grammatically yes, but grammatical constructions can still sound awkward.

(not him by the way, just a random anon butting in)


 No.314010

>>313993

>How often does the PC get their tail rubbed?

"Alien" feels like far too much, given that you've got to have felt things touching your tail before. I wouldn't describe someone rubbing my belly as "alien," even considering how infrequently I'm touched.

>Can't you use that so denote something that could induce an orgasm or comparable pleasure?

Yeah, don't know what I was going on about with the definition, but it just didn't quite feel right there.

>Cooling your temper, your head, your passion, not your physical body.

While I did surmise that that was what you were going for, you might want to be a bit more concrete (e.g., actually using the word "passion" in there). Could also just be the word order that's making it feel out of sorts.

>It's a direct consequence. Does it need a conjunction?

It's more of a consequence of the cooling than the main clause. Some ligature to more properly connect it to the sentence would probably make it fine, yes.

>I suppose you mean the possibility of her fingertips dissolving.

No, it was completely unclear what those adverbs were modifying. Wouldn't be the worst issue in the world if everything else was fine, but it's really awkward without the conjunction.

>Isn't English bendable enough to accept both? It's either hardly a bother or it hardly seems like one.

That was an immediate, instinctual reaction to reading that. It's not strictly wrong the other way, but I'd expect that the vast majority of native English speakers will stop for a moment when reading that (though I often overestimate how much other people care/notice things, I suppose).

>That you're not sure if she's thanking you for the massage or for stopping and not going further.

>you're not sure which part exactly she's thanking you for

I'm not sure that the two parts come though clearly. You could consider rolling out the whole "you're not sure whether she's thanking you for X or Y."


 No.314015

>>314009

>Whenever they're moving?

I would imagine that being a different sensation than someone touching it with their hands. Think of the soles of your feet, for example.

>>314010

>"Alien" feels like far too much

"Foreign", not "alien", that's not quite as strong of a word, but all right. Is "peculiar" more palatable? Or something that means "strange but pleasant", if there is any singular word for that. Can't think of one right now, other than perhaps "exotic", which is too close to "foreign" again.


 No.314051

File: 770ef82b0fcd571⋯.jpg (18.11 KB, 640x394, 320:197, pPdNZ3c_d-1.jpg)

>wetting thread theme

>no wetting scenes


 No.314065

>>314051

Don't worry, watersports incoming.


 No.314066

>>314065

Alice WS/voyeurism never ever


 No.314086

Oh look it's Alice watersports https://pastebin.com/raw/XW1NEABa

Also my first time making a scene (by myself) work for characters of either sex. So no vagina no problem, if that's how you play.


 No.314088


 No.314090

>>314086

oof that's the first really hot watersports scene to me, very nice. I always prefer femdom when it comes to watersports, overly consensual or just laying in piss doesn't do anything to me. So far it's all either gay or reverse watersports. This one's fucking hot


 No.314319

Does anyone else really want to see more knotting scenes? For both giving and receiving, really. So lacking on that sort of thing.


 No.314325

>>314319

I sure do, so thanks for volunteering! Check the OP for everything you'd need to get started with writing.


 No.314344

Did the mod reduce isabella's dick BJ maximum? I used to get by with an 8-incher but now I need to shrink it down to nothingness.

Also what drops bimbo liqueur?


 No.314366

>>314344

>Did the mod reduce isabella's dick BJ maximum?

Yes, but also made low standards mode apply to it so 8 inches can still be considered a tiny shota dick.


 No.314369

>>314344

>Also what drops bimbo liqueur?

Almost anything, I believe, but it's not common. It also shows up rarely in the pawn shops. If you just want to bimbo everyone for some reason, use the first bottle on Niamh so she can produce more for you.


 No.314405

>>314065

So, playing marco polo in the stream with your kids? Or finding some kind of ball to throw around while playing in the water? Or hey, maybe pool volleyball.


 No.314453

File: 6b7be0e5c42d0af⋯.jpg (409.56 KB, 800x872, 100:109, 32074391_p0.jpg)

File: d8a8ade58fd8904⋯.png (728.7 KB, 777x1087, 777:1087, 43521946_p0.png)

Sophie's Straight (Strictly)

https://pastebin.com/9a2wLiEV

Now we don't need to complain that she can't be bothered when you lop your dick off.

Spider Leg Snuff

https://pastebin.com/jJDB8g98

Ask and ye shall receive eh. It's what it says on the tin, reader beware. Seemed like a vague request, and I felt a little uninspired in turn.

Feel free to tell me when things you people want or just like seeing out of me. I've been working a bit slow this week and I'm always looking to see what ideas I can scrounge together to keep the work flowing.


 No.314467

File: 0e08e2d9eb8cf1c⋯.jpg (873.43 KB, 1351x1055, 1351:1055, a horse is fine too.jpg)

Fervently fisting foals.

https://pastebin.com/gcq92c8h - Finished the [TaurWash] option that lets Marielle help you cleanse your filthy body both inside and out, bringing the whole bathing thing to a word count I was not exactly planning on.

But at least that's the end of that one, save for some femininity variations I'll need to add at a later date. Now comes the fleshing-out of the lewd menu with head pats and hand-holding, which hopefully won't take me as long as this little excursion. I'd be tempted to hang myself if I took an entire year to write just one character.


 No.314501

>>314453

>Sophie's Straight

I get that Sophie's a walking milf fetish, but the the description of "mature" makes it sound like she's some sorta old lady.

Anyway, when will we be able to violently rape her as a full female/cuntboy by threatening to smash her fertilized eggs or threatening to murder/rape our daughters?


 No.314557

File: 55aeebfc9247dd8⋯.png (2.22 MB, 2256x1264, 141:79, interracial headpat captio….png)

Character that acts like pic related


 No.314569

>>314557

Cringe tbh.


 No.314586

File: c980ef53be02b0d⋯.png (35.99 KB, 240x240, 1:1, ClipboardImage.png)

>>314453

How about more silly mode shitposts? The alice one was pretty good. How about one where the PC punts imps and goblins off a cliff?


 No.314588


 No.314589

>>314453

>I don't have much of a choice in my condition

Why not? I guess some other harpy could have stolen her power by now, but this line seems more suited for bimbo sophie.


 No.314590


 No.314592

>>314589

>stolen her power

what?

>line seems more suited to bimbo sophie

It'd have to sound a bit more retarded for that, but as it's impossible to get her without either fertilizing a ton of eggs or making her a bimbo, that line only shows up if she's been de-bimbo'd and has her fucked up body shape


 No.314593

>>314453

>you swiftly slam your [foot] into it

them

>Lifting one of the chitinous legs

Should be [his].

>push the knee while pulling the ankle. Continuing to hold [monster him] down at the pelvis

You didn't mention me holding him down before, and how many arms do I have again?

>ushering in pained yelps and yelling.

Bit awkwardly worded

>a pop signals completely dislocation from the hip.

It should be "complete," and I recommend adding in an "its" after "signals."

>Blood-curdling shrieks ring through the swamp as the spider screams in agony.

>Need not let the creature process it any longer, as you're not finished.

Add a "you" at the start, and this "as" doesn't quite work, as the thing after it doesn't really explain/support the main clause (i.e., the "need").


 No.314618

>>314586

Or you beat an imp in battle but instead of kill or fuck you also get punt. You see how far you can kick it but work in a strength modifier for range and how heavy the armor your wearing is as wel.


 No.314637

>>314618

Heavy armour should give you benefit or penalty?


 No.314638

>>314637

Penalty unless like 90 strength to put that extra strength into that steel tipped boot.


 No.314671

A shame you can't mount the heads of your enemies outside your camp. I've killed a lot of imps and their corpses would serve beautifully as a warning to the other's.

On that note, it would be nice to be able to kill everyone I come across. Akbal would make a great rug in my cabin, that Drider bitch who tries to mind control you into being a mindless fuckbeast would be great mounted on the wall, and Kelt would make a great horse-leather coat.

I desire to become the Overlord of the land dammit. I can't do that without being horribly evil and dramatic.


 No.314715

>>314618

>go to the bazaar

>next to the fap arena is an Imp punting championship

>winner gets a handjob from telly.


 No.314724

>>314671

Have you not been collecting imp skulls? Those are specifically for decorating your walls.


 No.314770

>>314724

>Walls

Are the walls finally walls or still shitty fences?


 No.314802

File: adc82020644156f⋯.png (55.45 KB, 758x862, 379:431, Isabella.png)

File: 81cabd87f6e3541⋯.jpg (11.9 KB, 480x360, 4:3, MFW.jpg)

Anyways it always bugged me that you can't tell Isabella to fuck off with her shit, so I tried my hand and wrote up something where the player can tell her to calm her tits.

https://pastebin.com/xJ9u7NTC

It's super rough but still. give it a look and tell me what's up.


 No.314809

>>314770

Honestly man

Just because you can both; walk under and over it doesn't mean it's shitty

The sticks used o stop intruders are even somewhat even!


 No.314836

>>314724

Is that what they were for? I just thought they were a way to make quick money at the pawn shop…


 No.314855

File: 9b91a20af1dce18⋯.png (10.95 KB, 719x278, 719:278, The camp.png)

>>314836

Yeah they make our camp all intimidating and all

I mean, wouldn't you be scared if you would see something this intimidating?


 No.314882

>>314586

>How about more silly mode shitposts?

Idea: catch fairies in bottles, later release them so they can heal you, to their confusion.


 No.314888

>>314802

>[[[Telling Isabella off]]]

Give the button a name and a tooltip.

>Has to have lost to her at least five times

You might consider lowering that at least somewhat, as it's a lot for just a one-off scene.

>To add insult to injury (that she had inflicted, no less) she

Comma after the parenthetical (and as a side note, CoC doesn't really use parentheses in text much, if at all, so you might consider using em dashes instead).

>like the demons she accused you of being

Slight issue, but she didn't accuse you of being multiple demons, as that wouldn't make sense (until we add trenchcoat loli stacking).

>, and violated you after the fighting was over.

I very highly recommend removing that comma.

>clouding over the the briefest of moments before returning their gaze to you.

two "the"s

>like shutting down the very factory you were sold off to by your village,

Minor quibble, but you should move that last comma to an else for the following conditional.

>but at least for all the evil you've seen, it was blatantly so.

This feels a bit too sweeping, as the player may well have seen something that they view as a more insidious evil. I suppose that most evil is pretty upfront about it in this game, however, but it's something to think about.

>The hypocritical cow in front of you rubs you the wrong way, both literally and figuratively

The literally half would seem to imply that you don't like the specific way she rubs you, rather than the fact that she does, which is what I think you were going for.

>You feel a righteous anger swell within you, and focus it

no comma

>focus it into the most clear and direct way of telling the caramel-colored milk-mad-molester that she can go fuck herself.

This is worded a bit awkwardly, there should be a comma after "colored," and the dialogue is a bit too directly worded (you're forcing the PC into angrily cursing), but that last point might be less of an issue depending on the button name/tooltip.

>And, you add, you don't mean in the fun way.

This, however, should definitely go, as it's basically just direct dialogue without quotes.

>talking about how can she keep acting so high and mighty when her main method of operating seems to be "hang out in the plains and beat people up"?

Embedded questions don't undergo movement (so it'd be "she can," not "can she"), "talking about" doesn't really work well here (as you're asking a question, not talking about something), the question mark should be a period, and I recommend you change "operating" to "operation."

>Really has she actually made a single friend before or does she think with her tits before her head?

Comma after "really," but this is once again too directly worded. You should try to describe the general intent/content of the player's statements rather than directly writing them out, as that leaves more room for roleplaying.

>You you KNOW

Two "you"s, and I might recommend bolding the text over using all-caps.

>the cow-folk here aren't exactly as pure as they seem

Minor note, but she's not the saw type of cow-girl, and the player being a cow-morph wouldn't really make them privy to this information.

>You've experienced it firsthand and you

comma after "firsthand"

>you refuse to swallow that she, of all cowgirls, is "the good one" out there.'

"Swallow" and the quotes around "the good one" would imply that she's trying to argue that, which she isn't, and it should be "cow-girl."

>By this point, she's managed to gather enough of her wits to formulate some sort of retort, but you cut her off. It seems like she's trying to justify her actions

Unlike the PC, you should generally try to use direct dialogue for npcs.

>You walk up to her, and to your surprise she actually recoils a little as you now loom over her still-sitting form.

Use the [walk] parser, as that accommodates various body types.

>You inform her about your introduction to Mareth, being immediately knocked out and assaulted by an imp,

Why are you randomly telling her this? Many players might not want to do that, either in general or in this circumstance.

>being immediately knocked out and assaulted by an imp, before trying to haul you off to a factory that you had been doomed to go to from the start

"Trying" is a misplaced modifier, meaning that it does not modify the noun you want it to here (in this case, "imp").

>You fought, and fought, and fought because in spite of the title being a lie you are still the Champion of Ingram and you intend to do your duty.

Commas after the last "fought," "lie," and "Ingnam." Also, it's IngNam, with an "n." I vaguely remember incorrectly thinking it was "Ingram" too, so that might have been changed sometime in the past.


 No.314890

>>314888 (cont.)

>What has she done?

Well she obviously fights off people she thinks are corrupted, which would seem to imply both that she's had similar experiences as you and that she does try to make something of a difference.

>Has she been to the hidden city in the desert?

Woah, why are you giving away information about the secret desert city to someone you (for some reason) believe to be corrupted?

>Would they even let her in after testing her corruption or would she be turned away?

comma after "corruption"

>You bet she hasn't even bothered to help the town in these very plains that get attacked by demons every night, has she?

Should be "gets."

>Did she know about the farm near the lake? If she's that obsessed with milk, then they could probably use the extra muscle there anyways

Why would you think she even knows where the lake is? Also, you wouldn't necessarily know about her milk obsession at this point. Also also, why are you telling her to go work for the farm? It's not really a noble pursuit, it doesn't seem like they really need extra muscle all that much, and you're trying to imply that she's a bad person. Finally, you missed a period at the end of this.

>Has she done any real adventuring or has she just sat here singing and violating anyone that gets close by?

Comma after "adventuring," and once again, I feel it necessary to point out that you have to attack her for anything to happen. She's never the instigator, so it doesn't make sense to paint her as some wanton rapist.

>Even the goblins act more civilized than she does

No they don't, they actively seek out and rape people.

>they're just a bunch of cocksuckers

Might not fit a good number of PCs to say this.

>so you just sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration.

I'd also recommend removing/changing this.

>You know she's not actually too corrupt, just really stupid,

Huh, and huh? You just spent a really long time calling her corrupt, and when has she acted stupidly?

>You tell her that the next time you see her, you want her to calm her tits both literally and otherwise, and try talking like a normal person.

Too directly worded, and you should add a comma after "tits" or remove the second one (I recommend the former).

>You don't wait for a response, and just leave the stunned cowgirl to her camp.

I'll note that you normally shouldn't put a comma here, but that concatenating these two verbs is awkward either way. You might consider something like "instead just leaving…"

Please add line breaks in between paragraphs in the future; it makes things much more readable. I'll note that this scene seems a bit off, as you're kinda unreasonably angry at someone defending themselves after you directly attack them, which might make sense if you were corrupted, but you've limited this scene to pure players. It definitely felt like you were just trying to vent your personal frustration with the character.


 No.314891

>>314671

>Akbal would make a great rug in my cabin

That's one of the plans for the pelt.

If I ever actually follow through on that

>>314802

Too many words are spent on justifying (read: ranting about) your choice in the narration, in my opinion. You could take out 90% of the first two paragraphs without losing much. Especially when the rest of the scene just goes over it all again.

You also put a lot of words in the champion's mouth, it's still a problem even if there are no exact quotes.

I think it needs a bit more substance to it beyond the champion monologuing with no response from Isabella.


 No.314897

>>314802

Why are her ears white?


 No.314898

>>314897

The paint is flaking off


 No.314899

>>314855

Where is the cabin and fucking everyone else sleeping on the ground?


 No.314900

>>314899

And the water barrel, it's very important.


 No.314904

>>314900

Yeah you need to barrel the water


 No.314906

>>314900

>>314899

Phylla got overeager and everyone ended up living in bigass crater


 No.314917

>>314906

So there is no water barrel? No surprise everyone is dead


 No.314954

>>314802

Is this based on that "I hate every single one of you" pasta or am I reading too much into it?


 No.314961

File: 511f41523367115⋯.jpg (38.29 KB, 500x333, 500:333, 7fdf194940b388a0d0a5bdf6e8….jpg)

So how much minotaur content is in CoC currently? I have gotten all the defeat sex encounters, the win by seduction encounters, random mino and cow girl fucking in the mountains, everything related with the minotaur sons that you can offspring if you are female, the infamous helia ntr shit, and the final dungeon fight against the minotaur king thing with excellia. Is that all or am I missing a specific character thing or encounter somewhere else?


 No.314972

>>310606

Alright I finished the MENSA scene. It unlocks in silly mode when you get 100 INT.

https://pastebin.com/e1P2AMPp


 No.314977

>>314972

Fuck, I had a mensa shitpost cooking for like a month. Why'd you have to go and ruin it like this?


 No.314983

>>314961

Thats it.

For all the praise the Fenoxo games/the writing gets, they suffer from the same feature/character/creature creep as any other crowdsourced game.


 No.314985

>>314961

>>314983

unless it was removed

please let it have been removed

There are also the bakery scenes where it turns out the minotaur baker has been jizzing into the pastries to make them addictive.


 No.314991

>>314972

It dawns on you that you're surrounded. You could probably take them out pretty easily, but then you'd have to touch them. It wasn't an attractive prospect.

That is fucking hilarious.


 No.315001

>>314983

>For all the praise the Fenoxo games/the writing gets

Are you okay, anon? Blink twice if Fenoxo is holding you hostage.

>lack of content is feature creep

>reddit spacing

Wait, nevermind.


 No.315014

>>314961

Drink enough Minotaur Blood and it's technically all minotaur content.


 No.315031

File: 3bee8f1db47605f⋯.png (166.68 KB, 767x237, 767:237, 1454912710721.png)

Alice stuff: https://pastebin.com/ZSV9Lq6h

I think this is everything now in terms of content. You can get hugs, lewds, or go paladin on her if you really want.

Any opinions on descriptors like "little" being conditional on actually being larger than her? I don't think anything else works like that, so I'll probably change it later. It would simplify this thing a lot, if nothing else.


 No.315037

>>315031

>Any opinions on descriptors like "little" being conditional on actually being larger than her?

Well, even if she is bigger than us, she is still tiny.


 No.315038

>>315031

I mean even if you're small as well, she's still little. And certainly tiny compared to almost anyone else the player interacts with.


 No.315039

>>315031

>Any opinions on descriptors like "little" being conditional on actually being larger than her?

It depends on the context really. I'd probably get rid of half of the conditionals, but I'm a little ambivalent on which ones specifically.

>her sensitive [if (pc is not child sized), little] clit

This one is definitely out though.


 No.315040

>>315031

Conditionals like that add a lot to your writing and overall quality. It's a bit annoying to work with, but making your scenes account for little things like that separates the good from the bad.


 No.315042

>>315031

Look at it from the champion's perspective, since that's generally the perspective the narration is written from.

Imagine that you're 40 years old; you'd consider a 12 year old to be a little girl, most likely.

But then imagine that you're instead 7 years old. To you, a 12 year old girl is practically a grown-up. Even if she's little relative to most people, there's no way you'd think of her as a little girl.

Now imagine you're 80; you could reasonably call a 20 year old woman a "little girl", even if she is in fact larger than you, because the term has connotations beyond literal size.

Now imagine you're writing a sex scene for said 20 year old woman. Does it make sense to refer to her as a little girl when the champion isn't an elder?

To you, it may sound "objectively correct" to call her a little girl. But it's not actually objectively true, you're just thinking from the perspective of an adult.


 No.315062

>>315042

This is what I was thinking, and I attempted to have actual child characters describe her differently, at least some of the time. I think the connotations of "little girl" versus, say, tiny girl and weird CoC body types (like the champion potentially being a nine foot kid) are throwing me off.

I'll double-check this, as I'm sure I've mixed up or overlooked age versus sizes conditions at some point.


 No.315070

It's not possible to give regular jojo items, is there? Was thinking since fem-jojo existed (Even if just a bimbo) it might have been possible.


 No.315071

>>314961

If you're a cowgirl (i think) you can join the random minotaur and cowgirl.


 No.315276

File: 94c351c48d622c9⋯.jpg (124.18 KB, 700x988, 175:247, moths.jpg)

Oh god why isn't this the last thing: https://pastebin.com/JsBtaGyk

Added a first time back conversation after the "event," as well as a scene to indicate that Sylvia is starting on Dolores's tapestry. The (please Lord) last thing I have to write is the scene where she actually gives it to Dolores along with its description.


 No.315279

>Moths

I don't want to spoil this content for myself, so I'd like to ask fi they're related or derived from that weird time-travel shed manga


 No.315280

>>315279

That was the basis for the idea, yeah.


 No.315289

>>315276

Moooooooths


 No.315291

>>314961

>the infamous helia ntr shit

Was that finally put in the game? I haven't been around for a while.


 No.315294

File: 9a2997f3714e546⋯.jpg (19.34 KB, 220x284, 55:71, Screamcover.jpg)

>>314954

>"I hate every single one of you" pasta

My favorite" i hate you all" pasta is the original one:

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

—AM


 No.315301

I can't download from mega for some reason, someone has another link?


 No.315302

>>315301

Piss off, brainlet. Shoo shoo.


 No.315304

>>315302

Fuck you, I'm using an old browser, a lot of shit just don't fucking work


 No.315306

>>315301

>>315302

It can be finicky sometimes, fortunately quite rarely, but here's the latest update as of january 28th

https://my.mixtape.moe/ddbcgx.swf

That same single mega link is always the latest version, so it's best to figure out what's going wrong on your end when you can. Maybe do a search based on the problem you're getting, as well as check if it's a regional thing for where you live. I'm not too familiar with the issues, but Mega has had an issue for me where, for a while, it'd just keep refreshing into nothing no matter what link I use. It went away when I closed my browser completely and opened a new one.


 No.315312

>>314802

Until I read this, I never realized just how ridiculous Isabella's character is. Yet another case of a possibly decent character existing her own little bubble and not interacting with the rest of the game.


 No.315322

>>315312

Ignoring the fact that that diatribe is pretty misleading, she does interact with other characters, mostly Helia (with whom she actually has a reasonable number of scenes).


 No.315325

>>314888

I wondered what you'd been up to, Hitler.


 No.315326

>>315276

>Name.

Parser

>Name!

I mean, my name could just be "Name", but my parents had a little more imagination than that.

>she doesn't really know herself

Could use a comma, or does she not know who she is?

>You ask Dolores for confirmation that this was a one-time thing

>I… don't believe so. That 'episode' won't be repeated

So, is it, or is it not? And I'm slightly confused why she would be embarrassed.

>She stands up a stretches

and

>[if (deflowered) Oh?]

Your mind must be pretty deep in the gutter.

>[dabbling]

You sure these are working out for you?

>has awkwardly twisted

Repetition of "awkward".

>Your daughters eyes

daughter's

>anyways

If you were at least consistent with these, I wouldn't have to get mad at you, even if you are wrong. Also, there are quite a few instances of "seem" in there. Fifteen, I believe, which did become somewhat noticeable to me.


 No.315330

>>315326

>Could use a comma, or does she not know who she is?

Not the biggest fan of that one, but I'll put it in to get rid of the ambiguity.

>So, is it, or is it not?

My bad, reworded the first line and didn't change the second.

>And I'm slightly confused why she would be embarrassed.

She's embarrassed about having to talk about/admit her blunder. She's pretty haughty. Could add more to make that come through better.

>Your mind must be pretty deep in the gutter.

Just to let you know, that gag was 90% of the reason why I wrote that scene.

>You sure these are working out for you?

Well I have you to sort out all my problems, so yes. Don't know why I've been missing more of them recently. Think I've just been rushing things to get this done, should be more careful about this stuff.

>If you were at least consistent with these, I wouldn't have to get mad at you, even if you are wrong.

It's natural language change, so it's not really "wrong" per se. I'm not sure exactly what's behind the variation, and I'm not so sure that it's a problem that people will notice, but I'll change 'em anyway.

>Also, there are quite a few instances of "seem" in there. Fifteen, I believe, which did become somewhat noticeable to me.

Oh believe me, it's way worse before I correct for it. No idea why, but I overuse that word to an extreme degree, and I have to force myself to use others in its place. There are 146 "seem"s in this document alone. If it ever seems like too much to you, please do let me know (although now that you know this, you'll probably notice them regardless).

By the way, was there anything still unclear/that you'd like to ask her?

>>315325

I've been goosestepping through this thread for months now, where've you been?


 No.315358

>>315330

>It's natural language change

It's irritating to see that word with an s added, but even more so when someone switches between them. Use whichever you prefer, I'm not stopping you, I just want consistency.

>I overuse that word to an extreme degree

Well, it's a handy word, so much shorter than an "appear" or "look to be". A quick check against my own stuff and you're using somewhere around triple or more the amount of them, though. Take that as you will.

>was there anything still unclear/that you'd like to ask her?

Why she never said anything and then snuck away quietly is something I could see me want to ask. Second, I'd ask if she knew what she was getting herself into and why she thought that ritual was a good idea. You know, some typical berating parent questions. And then I'd have a more general question of whether moths have a naturally high affinity with magic or if she's just a prodigy or something.


 No.315390

>Hitler and Satan are working to help improve a lewd game made by a fallen one

You can't make this shit up


 No.315391

File: 6af9a678942a59d⋯.jpg (43.31 KB, 320x240, 4:3, 1461389262600.jpg)

>>315031

Implementation when?


 No.315395

>>315390

all they add is shit, haven't bothered with this game for months because of all the bullshit that keeps getting shoved in.

The Alice's were the last good update.

S&H


 No.315397

>>315395

Satan wrote the Alices, retard.


 No.315399

>>315395

>all they add is shit

>they

Only Satan is a content developer here, you dumb reactionary mongrel.

>haven't bothered with this game for months because of all the bullshit that keeps getting shoved in. The Alice's were the last good update.

>Telly (an Alice)

>circe

>no-fur mode

>Urta removal

>mothgirl (soon)

>dungeon mini-map

>Fera & Akbal's Quest

>an incredible amount of general fixes to this broken fucking mess

And the list goes on with everything else I've forgotten.

>Alice's

I don't know what I expected from an ESL retard.


 No.315419

File: 29568c90428d3f0⋯.jpg (169.76 KB, 850x1133, 850:1133, 707173900d7a.jpg)

So question. Does anyone like Snuggles so far? I don't think she's very good, so I'm mulling over trying to change her to something more active rather then just talk to her a fuck load.

For the current draft I was going to have it that before she met the player she abandoned her family while they were being raped by demons so she could save her own skin. But i'm thinking maybe having an event like happen while she's getting to know the pc might be better, since it gives the pc a chance to a hero. Or maybe just making her the loli bird you save from imps, could have her start as a loli then age up to a teenager over time. Then once old enough, pc can knock her up so she can lay smiles or whatever.

Anyway i'd appreciate any opinions, have some flandre in advanced.


 No.315420

>>315419

>loli then age up to a-

No.


 No.315425

>>315420

But what if you could just stuff her full of lolipops to shrink her backdown?


 No.315426

Why is the perk selection menu so bad now?

For what purpose does it look like such an unorganized mess when it was fine before?


 No.315434

>>315419

Events sound fine to me it would solve the monotagari issue you are having considering she is an scavenger that goes around getting stuff it would not be that hard to make excuses for it as for the birb itself she seems to have a good amount of baggage so maybe you could get more in detail with it after you do some cool stuff and trusts you (remember to not go too edgy) as for what she sells it doesn't seem too different compared to the pawn shop guy making her wares not that interesting then again finding teladre is way too fucking easy for being one of the last actual cities around hidden by actual competent wizard people


 No.315452

>>315434

>would solve the monotagari issue you are having considering she is an scavenger that goes around getting stuff it would not be that hard to make excuses for it

I've heard of the series but I'm confused on what you mean by this?

>she seems to have a good amount of baggage so maybe you could get more in detail with it after you do some cool stuff and trusts you

Is it edgy for her to have ditched her family while demons were raping them? I feel like it's a pretty believable scenario. I was thinking of having her reveal the whole "I ditched my family" thing after the pc got her preggers. Feel like its pretty important to lay all the cards on the table once a kid is involved, pc then makes decision to understand, or kick her out. Could always have it for when the pc builds her a shop.

>as for what she sells it doesn't seem too different compared to the pawn shop guy

Originally, I wasn't planning on having her use gems for her shop. Rather it would be like a trading system? For example, pc gives her item worth 5 gems, they get credit that they can trade for item(s) she has of equal value. I'm not too sure on how reasonable that'd be though so i wrote it as a normal shop. Also wanted to write a few unique items to go in her shop eventually.


 No.315456

>>315452

>I've heard of the series but I'm confused on what you mean by this?

Sorry it was a joke because the series is pretty much all talking

>Is it edgy for her to have ditched her family while demons were raping them?

What was she supposed to do? Get raped too? Besides she actually was there when the rapening happened? Was it the father holding the demons off so they could run away? Was she just lucky that she could hide while watching her family get the rapening?

>Originally, I wasn't planning on having her use gems for her shop. Rather it would be like a trading system? For example, pc gives her item worth 5 gems, they get credit that they can trade for item(s) she has of equal value. I'm not too sure on how reasonable that'd be though so i wrote it as a normal shop. Also wanted to write a few unique items to go in her shop eventually

Sounds pretty cool but not sure the reason behind it


 No.315460

>>315456

I never actually seen the series, only beat off to some of its doujins.

>What was she supposed to do? Get raped too? Besides she actually was there when the rapening happened? Was it the father holding the demons off so they could run away? Was she just lucky that she could hide while watching her family get the rapening?

I'll spoiler it. Her family stopped somewhere for awhile, it looked kinda luxurious to her. she liked the place and wanted to stay. Obviously her family said no as they always moved on. So she ran off for awhile throwing a temper tantrum. came back a few hours later to see her brother and mother getting pounded, her dad probably died fighting. Once she saw them being raped, she ran off rather then try to help them.

The reason behind the credit mechanic would be that she wouldn't have anyone to trade gems with besides you. She might not even have a lot of gems in the first place, so she wouldn't be able to buy the more expensive items the pc could have.


 No.315482

>>315460

>She might not even have a lot of gems in the first place, so she wouldn't be able to buy the more expensive items the pc could have.

She could just not buy things at all if you want to avoid that without making a new system.


 No.315523

>>315330

The last 74 years have been distracting, Mein Fuehrer.

>>315419

Touhoufag, some honest advice? I think you should work on getting a tiny project in rather than full-fledged characters/dungeons. You overreach and overplan and tend to disappoint yourself. Small victories lead to great campaigns.


 No.315783

>>315482

While that'd be the best solution, I really wanted her to be a camp merchant the pc could sell junk to.

>>315523

I've written up some small stuff. I also tried fixing some content that was already in game too, though whether or not I made it better with my removal of direct quotes is subjective.


 No.315801

File: 45edd5a8ff6058d⋯.mp4 (54.28 KB, 480x360, 4:3, fucking weird.mp4)

Reading up on my favorite characters sounded like a breeze until I found the stuff Revamp added to them. I feel so deeply and personally offended. Let's just distract ourselves with some Telly now.

Telly Abyssal Gifting

https://pastebin.com/jvYXEEzh

It sounded like a dumb idea, so I used it.

>>314593

>You didn't mention me holding him down before, and how many arms do I have again?

Where'd your foot go?

>Add a "you" at the start, and this "as" doesn't quite work, as the thing after it doesn't really explain/support the main clause (i.e., the "need").

Isn't the "as you" implying the "You" before "need"? And it is supporting/explaining it, isn't it? If you were finished at that point, the spider would be left to keep trying to process the situation as you evidently just leave it there. Instead, you are going to finish it off, not needing to let it register the events any longer.

I can fix it, if needed, but this is my explanation.

The rest of the fixes have been applied.

>>315523

I've said this, even about 2hu specifically. Any writer should focus on much smaller scope projects before doing anything large, and not a single one has ever completed a large project without finishing small stuff first. 2hu lost interest very fast, though.


 No.315805

>>315783

>While that'd be the best solution, I really wanted her to be a camp merchant the pc could sell junk to.

>She might not even have a lot of gems in the first place, so she wouldn't be able to buy the more expensive items the pc could have.

There is a terrible split here


 No.315807

File: 352895f946310ec⋯.jpg (394.16 KB, 600x578, 300:289, why_couldnt_it_have_been_t….jpg)

Alright it's fucking done Jesus: https://pastebin.com/JsBtaGyk

I added the scene for the tapestry being finished and its description when viewed in the cave. Small update, but with this, all moth writing should finally be done (except for rewrites/editing). I feel absolutely exhausted. The build will most likely be out tomorrow, depending on how stuff goes.

>>315801

>Isn't the "as you" implying the "You" before "need"?

Don't think you can omit it there.

>And it is supporting/explaining it, isn't it

It doesn't explain why you don't need to let it process it any longer. It explains why you don't, but the addition of the need makes it not work logically. Minor issue, feel free to ignore it (but not the "you").

>Any writer should focus on much smaller scope projects before doing anything large

I'll note that I dove straight into making the moth, and I think my early writing suffered a great deal as a result, so I can definitely attest to this.


 No.315815

>>315801

I did my best in fixing vapula. Removed all her direct quotes from her sex scenes and tried to change them into indirect ones that keep the same tone, which I tried to do with some of lotties content as well. I also wrote a few little things, ring gifting for amily, a few arian and kiha scenes too. Most of that stuff just needs to be edited.

>>315805

It's why I think making her shop using a credit system would be the best solution, at least with the player. She can then buy things and it'd make sense.

Off topic side questions: What are gems even backed by? Are they literally gems and just naturally valuable? Why do both ingnam and mareth share a currency?


 No.315819

File: 9c84ca84f9ee41e⋯.png (8.2 KB, 100x130, 10:13, Appallingsecret.png)


 No.315820

>>315815

>What are gems even backed by?

Same thing gold is backed by: humans getting distracted by shiny things.

>Why do both ingnam and mareth share a currency?

Because Revamp.


 No.315832

>>315807

>judging by her damp eyes and

Unfinished sentence.

>the tapestry to the beg

bed

>there are no words for it.][say: Oh, but I didn't

There's a paragraph break between these. Does the parser deal with that correctly? Otherwise, you'd need to do it old-school to leave out the closing marks by hand.

>Allow me to go hang this

Coupled with the level of detail, there's a joke about hanging herself here somewhere.

>The young moth brushes past you, and after only a short wait, returns.

Comma after "and", not before, no?

>freshly-made tapestry

No hyphen.

>feel a small pang of regret come unbidden to your heart

Could do with a clarification that it's because of having missed some of those moments.

And congratulations on managing to finish the moths, meme man. Perhaps one day, I shall follow you to those pastures.


 No.315835

>>315832

>There's a paragraph break between these. Does the parser deal with that correctly? Otherwise, you'd need to do it old-school to leave out the closing marks by hand.

It doesn't (there's no good way to have it do that, either), so I usually fix this by jamming something in between them. This could use more of a transition, anyway.

>Coupled with the level of detail, there's a joke about hanging herself here somewhere.

Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone?

>Could do with a clarification that it's because of having missed some of those moments.

I'd wanted to make it a bit more vague for people who really don't give a shit about her, but they probably won't have got this far, so I'll change it.

>And congratulations on managing to finish the moths, meme man. Perhaps one day, I shall follow you to those pastures.

Couldn'ta done it without you. I'll keep a seat warm.


 No.315836

>>315815

Gems are shiny and pretty therefore valuable


 No.315837

>>315820

>>315836

So gems are shiny then? I pictured them as just multi-colored rocks.


 No.315840

>>315801

Can't wait until you write followup where we can gift various drinks we find to Nameless Horror


 No.315841

>>315837

>I pictured them as just multi-colored rocks.

Why? When a game uses "gold" as currency do you imagine unprocessed ore?


 No.315844

what parasites are in the game and how do i get them?


 No.315845

>>315837

>A economy based in dull rocks

This thought hurts me


 No.315848

>>315841

>Why?

I liked the idea of me carrying around light blue and pink rocks by the thousands. Just like, lugging a big bag of em. Even better when my dude is in full plate and punching shit to death.

>When a game uses "gold" as currency do you imagine unprocessed ore?

When I was younger I thought gold was found naturally as gold bars. I also thought gil from final fantasy was a type of fish.

>>315845

To be fair, is paper allegedly backed by gold better?


 No.315852

>>315848

>I liked the idea of me carrying around light blue and pink rocks by the thousands. Just like, lugging a big bag of em

Not mutually exclusive you know

>To be fair, is paper allegedly backed by gold better?

The gold standard is dead though also no it is not better that is why the thought of carrying around lots of gemstones around instead of dull rocks is something i love so much


 No.315854

>>315852

I'm going to continue to believe in the dull rock economy.


 No.315857

>>315848

>To be fair, is paper allegedly backed by gold better?

I don't think there's any currency in the world still backed by gold. The US dollar hasn't been since the 70s.


 No.315858

>>315854

That's alright but i feel obligated to inform you of your geological shit taste


 No.315867

>>315857

I was going to ask what its backed by, but according to google it's "backed by faith and credit."

>>315858

Dull rocks are superior, anything less isn't even worth looting.


 No.315869

>>315867

The only thing backing the dollar's value is the trust that the people have that the federal government will maintain that value, won't inflate it, and wont collapse.


 No.315879

>>315867

>I was going to ask what its backed by

The US dollar, like most currencies today is backed by debt. It's all a giant pyramid scheme.


 No.315893

Am I going to miss a lot of scenes if I remove the Bro Brains perk?


 No.315898

>>315879

>The US dollar, like most currencies today is backed by debt.

I think debt-based currencies are the second most natural/intuitive choice, really. The first of course is directly using a commodity, but that has obvious issues at modern scales.

At its core, it's just a natural extension of the barter system, essentially standardised, transferable IOUs. You offer someone a product or service with an agreed value of X, but instead of trading a product or service of their own at the same time, in exchange they give you a note indicating that you're owed X value. That debt they owe you can then be traded to someone else.

For a real-world example: I give person A a cow, then person B gives me a cow. Instead of person A paying me back so I can pay person B back, all debts can be settled by person A giving person B a cow (or equivalent value) directly. Essentially, I gave person A's debt of one cow to person B in exchange for a cow.

>>315893

>Am I going to miss a lot of scenes if I remove the Bro Brains perk?

No, why would you? There's not a single scene in the game that requires Bro Brains unless you count Rathazul offering to fix it, there aren't even any scene changes longer than a single line from it, it doesn't really impact anything. There's one character that you can't encounter as a bro/bimbo though.


 No.315928

>>315869

>Won't inflate

LMAO


 No.315936

>>315898

>No, why would you? There's not a single scene in the game that requires Bro Brains unless you count Rathazul offering to fix it, there aren't even any scene changes longer than a single line from it, it doesn't really impact anything. There's one character that you can't encounter as a bro/bimbo though.

If it's that fucking useless why doesn't it just get removed then?


 No.315937

>>315936

Why would it be? It's a fetish, some people just want their characters to look like that, and as mentioned, it does have scene variations.


 No.315942

File: 3704ee2ffa0b2f9⋯.mp4 (4.23 MB, 326x184, 163:92, Pillar Food.mp4)

First request I get, I write

I might do this twice this weekend.


 No.315946

Wholesome sisterly bonding between Kid A and shark daughters after stopping the fight between them


 No.315947

>>315942

Cleaning books in library and having tea too


 No.315963

A ton of faeries bullying a alice


 No.315968

>Original CoC is about furries

>Modded one is about Alices

>Or Xianxia shit but who-cares about that


 No.315975

>>315947

Quinn is a narcissist that doesn't trust anybody to do the job, as I've ascertained from reading his stuff.

https://pastebin.com/4jXW5xKU

>>315968

Man, I'm trying. Plant-girl stuff is done and I'm probably going to do a lot of mouse, rat, then harpy stuff later.

>>315963

Doesn't fit the character of their race. Faeries aren't really bullies, and an alice could probably thrash them anyway.

Also I'll note that if you don't reply to me, it's entirely possible I'll gloss over your request entirely. Especially when I'm tired. That in mind, I realize I missed >>315946 and just set to reading up on library content and doing that request instead.

As for sisterly bonding, I think I already did some of that.

General pro tip: Be careful not to press [Cancer] when attempting to click [Update]


 No.315981

>>315975

>Doesn't fit the character of their race. Faeries aren't really bullies, and an alice could probably thrash them anyway

You know those kids that get picked on and do weird shit to tiny animals? Now imagine that they in theory get angry for it doing that shit and fight back Oh well i missed my chance anyways that's life


 No.316014

>>315975

>As for sisterly bonding, I think I already did some of that.

I'm not sure if rape reversal counts as bonding.


 No.316021

>>316014

There's a scene where they play together in the river.


 No.316096

>>315898

>There's one character that you can't encounter as a bro/bimbo though.

who?


 No.316101

>>316096

Circe.


 No.316110

File: 34fafd9870f242b⋯.png (696.58 KB, 958x757, 958:757, hardworking_moth.png)

==I fuckin' lied:== https://mega.nz/#F!bKRAxKpQ!WrNiCibeU8zh-Y5_fGAMcw

Finished Moth! This is not a drill! I've included two files: a normal one, and one where her Bog encounter rate is boosted enough that you'll basically get only her (if you don't want to grind). There may be more bugs than intended, so do be warned (but please tell me if you run into any). Finishing this today has sucked out the last of my soul, but it does feel pretty good to basically be done.


 No.316114

>>316110

Forgot to mention, but that release also contains a few other unrelated changes. Most notably, blackfire, pure Jojo sex, and obtaining Joy have been disabled.


 No.316142

>>315975

>slightly embarassed but horny Amily giving you a pan-oh fuck too late, goddamnit.


 No.316143

File: 773964e40ea778a⋯.png (1.98 KB, 156x156, 1:1, Rando.png)

>>316114

>obtaining Joy


 No.316157

>>316114

Ah shit, if it disables Joy, I guess I'll just sit on the side until she's enabled.


 No.316159

File: 27fec5bb9f83480⋯.jpg (28.98 KB, 400x558, 200:279, 1527219514461.jpg)

>make a loli mage

>first ghoul I fight drops a ring of mysticality

This run was meant to be.


 No.316183

>>316157

There are people who like that monstrosity? Even if you're into bimbos, I would at least think you'd be put off by the absolutely horrendous writing and butchering of Jojo's character.


 No.316186

>>316183

It's a smut game, I don't care about having pure characters in my camp.


 No.316187

>>316157

I know you're shitposting, but as a general note, everyone is welcome to blame me. All those removals are my call. If you do want Joy, you should kill yourself, but also you can just get him now and then update. The ability to obtain is removed, but the character themselves will continue to exist in the code for a while.

>>316186

Good thing corrupt Jojo already exists.


 No.316188

>>316187

There should be at least an option to feminize the corrupt Jojo if Joy gets scrapped.


 No.316189

>>316188

It's not about options, it's about writing. Joy is an example of some of the worst writing from Revamp, it's absolutely abysmal in quality. much like almost anything to do with writing they've produced.

>There should be at least an option to feminize the corrupt Jojo if Joy gets scrapped.

Great, let me just upload the many scenes required for that and it would be good to go. If you don't write it, don't count on it.


 No.316198

>>316187

..wait, we could fuck pure Jojo? I thought he was too monastic for ass.


 No.316207

>>316198

Yes, and it was a character-breaking mess seemingly written by an ESL grade schooler. Hence the removal.


 No.316213

Is there a wiki or something similar for this game? The only wiki I found is the coc-revamp.fandom and it's outdated.


 No.316215

Shouldra Blurb

https://pastebin.com/BR0VN5Tt

Sometimes people wonder about this, so let the player wonder and have her answer directly.

>>316198

He was. Writer of the behemoth changed that. That much explanation should suffice, but you're welcome to read it before updating if you want the details. My favorite lines include "his dick tasted like sweat and old cheese. It's irresistible" and "Jojo slides his cock right in your ass. "That's nice," he remarks"

And I'll do it again, doubt there will be complaints; first request I get, I write

Usual rules apply.


 No.316216

>>316215

Consensual anal sex with Izma on the receiving end.


 No.316217

>>316215

>"That's nice"

Is his dick even functional?


 No.316221

I feel like with all the Jojo sex content being disabled (and honestly for good reason with the quality it was) we should possibly come together and write some replacement content (probably some replacement for female Jojo as well). At some point at least. I certainly know I'd like to see a female version of Jojo (that's not a bimbo) that doesn't read like it's written by a horny 10 year old with a learning disability.


 No.316222

>>316215

>you question to the specter why

This doesn't work. I recommend "you question the specter on why"

>With a sigh, Shouldra attempts to explain, "

Not a dialogue tag, so make that a period.

>she ponders briefly

Feels a bit awkward without an object.

>being perpetually walking the line but unable to orgasm.

"Being walking" is pretty awkward.

>The ghost scoffs, "

Not a dialogue tag (although this is one of the more popular wrong ones, so I'll feel a lot less offended if you ignore me on this one).


 No.316223

>>316221

If we can fuck jojo then we should be able to rape ratazul after defeating him when he goes NANOMACHINES SON


 No.316227

>>316223

I mean, it WOULD make sense to be able to rape the hell out of him. Not sure he'd be very eager to offer his services after that though.


 No.316240

>>316215

Harpy sucking tittyfuck


 No.316241

>>316240

How is "first" not a word of English you've learned yet?


 No.316243

>>316187

I do like Joy, but mostly because she was another mousewife I could impregnate. I wasn't a huge fan of her dick or bimbos in general but I am sad to see a brood mother leave.


 No.316248

File: a0efea2c7ac3052⋯.png (1.02 MB, 1300x1346, 650:673, b1bc12dc68741d4b02fe7438a9….png)

>>316216

I'm so tired of sharks.

Izm-anal

https://pastebin.com/ecaj4MJW

I learned through reading her dom-her-vagina scene that I do not like her sex scenes.

>>316217

Kitteh seemed to think Jojo was in his late 50s, so maybe not.

>>316221

I see absolutely 0 appeal in gender-swapping characters, and it'd be a big hassle to lead into it since Jojo isn't the type to be receptive to the idea. As such, I personally won't bother with that content. I will, however, write normal pure jojo content. Expect that at some point, it's on my to-do list.

>>316227

Likely not, though I am interested in doing some work on him. Probably nothing sexual, though. For now I've just wrangled Koraeli into redoing a lot of Rathazul's code, and changing how a lot of his text is displayed. Godspeed, Korrie, doing mountains of tedium I can't be assed to learn. Bless all our coders, I cannot bear to do their jobs.

>>316241

While sometimes strange how long after first they might say it, I never see harm in people throwing their ideas out. Sometimes, though not this case, they're good ideas that I'd like to toss into my notes for later.


 No.316250

>>316248

There doesn't seem to be much about CoC you do like, Satan-kun. Still i'm happy for the requests you've done for me.


 No.316251

File: 1cb637ffbc09669⋯.jpg (277.48 KB, 1452x490, 726:245, petting intensifies.jpg)

https://pastebin.com/QSjRW0HE - Marielle's lewd menu, or at least the beginnings of it. Headpatting, kissing, faceriding—the important stuff is there already, but it'll need some serious work before it gets anywhere significant.


 No.316252

>>316251

And on a semi-related note: some insect forced me to do one of these, so I guess I will. If anyone has any good ideas and/or wants me to write something specific, now's the time to shoot.

First request I get, I may write.

What are rules.

Be mindful that I'm a slow-ass bitch and awfully picky, so I can't guarantee that I'll have it finished today, or even at all.


 No.316256

>>316252

Fucking/feeding Vapula's pussy, properly accounting with increments for how much semen you produce.


 No.316258

>>316252

>>316256

On second note, I thought you were the mothanon for some reason as he's the only one besides Satan doing this and dicks aren't your thing. You can also/instead do a dom scene forcing Vapula to eat you out despite that not feeding her, I guess.


 No.316264

Alright, I promised some Amily editing for 2hu:

>onto her finger.[pg]She feels the cool metal on her finger

mild repetition of "finger"

>When you tell her to open her eyes, Amily looks at the ring you put on her finger.

less mild now

>The gold ring on her finger shines

repetition with the less sentence of both "ring" and "finger" (I recommend using "band" like you do with the silver one")

>The diamond ring on her finger sparkles

Same issue as above

>The mouse-morph's

Throw some brackets around "mouse-morph" so someone can do a noFur check.

>You explain that while it might be a bit backwards to have made love and have children before giving her this

I recommend italicizing the "before," as I think it'd add a lot to this sentence.

>but you hope that she'll forgive you and like it. Amily has tears in the corners of her eyes and suddenly embraces you.

Both of these "and"s are just a bit awkward. The first is fine to keep, but I might recommend making the second one "as she suddenly…"

>While leaning against your body, she tells you

"Body" is a bit odd, so you might want to go with something more specific like "chest" or "side."

>Amily has a smile on her face and pats the spot next to her.

Another awkward "and," and I recommend the same "as she pats…" as last time.

>In response to her

I recommend adding a word like "invitation" here.

>, before you] lay down next to your lover.

I recommend making this […before laying|lay] (note the removed comma).

>Amily frowns and notices the injuries that currently adorn your body.

Switch the order of those verbs.

>In her hands you can see a small container and watch as she unscrews the lid.

This is another awkward "and"

>It looks like it contains a kind of smelly cream that is a light green in color.

I recommend going with "It seems to contain" or another alternative, as you're describing more than just its appearance.

>You feel her run a finger covered in the ointment along one of your cuts, and wince at the burning sensation.

Not the biggest fan of this comma, but you can keep it if you really want to.

>She puts a hand on your chest, gently touching you

I might recommend something more evocative than "touch" here (e.g., "stroke")

>Amily wraps your arms around you

her

>Her warm body can't help but make you relax

That construction doesn't really work here, as you're the one who can't help but do something, not her body.

>she tells you

I believe I mentioned this last time, but you use this dialogue tag too much. The only one

>Good night [Player], I love you.

Add a comma after "night" and make the current comma into a period.

>With your body shuddering in delight, you can tell that your dick is being sucked.

I thought I remember saying that this sentence needed a change. "You can tell that your dick is being sucked" is redundant/obvious enough to just be funny.

>A yawn escapes your mouth, and you rub your eyes

This doesn't seem like an appropriate reaction to your dick being sucked.

>her tongue caressing the underside of your manhood in a loving way

repetition of "manhood" (and you don't have to use a new synonym every time, use some pronouns instead)

>Amily grips onto your second shaft

I know specifically that I said you should remove this "onto." Please do try not to miss these.

>pumping it in tandem with her head bobbing.

This "in tandem with" means she's also pumping "her head bobbing," which doesn't make sense.

>both you grabbing her head, and the feeling

no comma

>with each spurt, with Amily devotedly doing

Repetition of "with." You could just remove the second "with."

>Amily swallows the baby batter

Make "baby batter" into "it." It's been a while since I gave you this advice, but please remember that overusing sexual terms just comes off as comical (and "baby batter" will do that regardless").

>Amily is practically thrashing your shuddering hole with her wet tongue

"Thrashing" isn't the word you want here.

>and is happily lapping up

Another awkward "and" ("as" doesn't work here).

>before she tells

before telling

It's not remotely close to Christmas, so I'll save the other stuff for another time.


 No.316276

File: 6cff4168c9e3f0f⋯.png (27.15 KB, 380x254, 190:127, 14671891670.png)

>>316250

My favorite characters are Amily, Jojo(pure, and none of the sex stuff), Rathazul(though his code and menus need cleanup). I like Dullahan too, and I enjoy the fiery personality of Helia. Generally if I can fight them frequently, I like them at least a bit. Shouldra appeals to my love of puns and inappropriately placed humor.

I like Fera, as she's quite a deviation in tone.

There's a lot of CoC I do like, especially the more it can stand without assessing the sexual content. I recognize CoC is primarily focused on sex, but my preference has always been for the sex to be heavily contextualized by more fulfilling characters and everything else. I hope that I can learn to create content suited to that.

>>316258

I love it. I forced Moth to do it and now Moth forced Wombat into it.

Now, seeing as I'm in an absolutely wonderful mood right now, let's do a third request. Maybe I can finish before Wombat.

First request I get, I write. Usual rules apply, but no duplicate requests.


 No.316277

File: e79fac83629e42c⋯.jpg (248.32 KB, 1280x1174, 640:587, 009_9.jpg)

>>316264

>Throw some brackets around "mouse-morph" so someone can do a noFur check.

I thought they were always "morphs" even in no furmode. My bad.

I'll fix this up, thanks for checking it.

>It's not remotely close to Christmas, so I'll save the other stuff for another time.

maybe next year the happy holidays mouse can be a thing.


 No.316281

>>316276

You and Shouldra playing a harmless prank on Helspawn. Playful fun with your daughter and ghostly body-partner, something that can be capped off with her responding with a satisfying "Dad!" in annoyance but still enjoying the fun of it.


 No.316283

File: 930121540bf2b3b⋯.jpg (13.71 KB, 272x260, 68:65, Maybe-some-day.jpg)

>>316281

You people really like testing my creativity with being so non-specific sometimes. Unfortunately, I keep mulling it over and nothing comes to mind for what that prank would entail. Also the straws I grasp don't seem very interesting.


 No.316290

>>316276

Random cute child-raising scene for your child(ren) with Ember. Or since you probably want more specific ideas:

>You and Ember taking them out to teach them to hunt for food.

>Reading to them if you have any books — and if all you have are pornographic books, well, you have to make do with what you've got, right?

>Teaching them to cook.

>Randomly have them get in bed with you during the night, or ask to sleep with you as you get in bed.


 No.316296

>>316258

Blame him for the confusion. Not that I don't do dicks at all, but I can definitely work better with some good old lezdom, so I'll see what I can come up with, there.


 No.316297

>>316290

I figure we can slowly build up to actual content for them, one little scene at a time. Having something there might inspire more people to add to it.

Just having a hatching scene for the eggs, a "Children" menu under Ember's camp menu, and a couple scenes would be a great deal better than the nothing we have now.


 No.316301

>>316283

Sparring with her and Shouldra continuesly making her mess up her footwork. It can then turn into her overcoming the handicap and impressing the player in the process, maybe that can be tied into if you spar with her or not?

It would be nice if you could end up actually teaching her properly.


 No.316316

>>316301

>>316283

>Shouldra keeps changing the size of Helspawn's tail during sparring practice

>the constant shifts in balance throw her off

>PC helps her train on how to deal with not only off-balance combat (boats aren't stable and if she ever finds herself on one she'll need the practice) as well as dealing with perverse magic that has physical effects aside from lust


 No.316325

>>316281

>>316301

>>316316

please, I need this.


 No.316346

File: 6aa7d37f8865002⋯.png (310.98 KB, 547x404, 547:404, 6aa7d37f88650021ac25ecfc9d….png)

>>316276

I'm disapointed that I can't rob telly's store with the blunderbuss.


 No.316363

File: 17bfd6063e2b9f9⋯.gif (1.26 MB, 326x227, 326:227, c3e96c8e4a0585f373225f96ee….gif)

>>316297

>>316290

>Three possible genders

>Variable racial features based on ember's

>No egg hatching scene

>Can't even look at them at the moment, the few details about appearance are scattered through the two live-birth scenes

This is a lot more work to clean up and make presentable than just a one-off scene. It'll have to be bundled with a number of scenes, but at least the request got me to look into it and compile some of the information.

I'll organize a better roadmap and dump of existing info into the bounty board and revisit that later. It breaks the first rule of these requests.

>>316301

>>316316

Guess I'm doing this now.

>>316325

You're in luck.

Shouldra Pranks Helspawn

https://pastebin.com/BVtiqmqC


 No.316380

Dumb question: Can child/teenager champions grow up as time passes or is it only with items and stuff like that?


 No.316383

>>316380

Not even with items, there's only an item to lower your age and not one to raise it.

Who really plays for 2000+ days?


 No.316385

>>316380

A normal playtrough is not going to get even close to a year there is no point of putting such mechanic


 No.316387

>>316383

Don't the sand witches offer to age you up?

i've never taken them up on the offer.


 No.316388

>>316383

I though there was wine or something?


 No.316394

>>316387

>Don't the sand witches offer to age you up?

All they do is change your hair color and boost your breast size and lactation.


 No.316400

>>316394

So their comment about making you grow up is a lie?


 No.316402

File: 9331b58b61bea27⋯.gif (1.24 MB, 227x136, 227:136, Good for you.gif)

>>316363

Yes this is nice.


 No.316406

>>316400

No. Words can mean more than one thing. If someone offers to a little boy to "make him a man", but all they want to do is take his virginity, is that a lie?


 No.316445

>>316400

They want you to grow tits so you can lactate a lot… For some reason?


 No.316461

File: b38848b9d875ec7⋯.gif (490.86 KB, 500x264, 125:66, werenotworthy.gif)

>>316248

Thanks for filling in that gap in Izma's content; it seemed an odd omission given the Champion/Izma alpha/beta dynamic.

>I'm so tired of sharks.

Sorry about that - I'll be sure to remember for any future suggestions/requests I might make. Truly, you are generous beyond our deserts lord Satan.


 No.316462

So what is there in terms of content for these Nephilia creatures? I get the slimes in my character's belly and is that it?


 No.316463

>>316462

>So what is there in terms of content for these Nephilia creatures?

Tons of it, but not much quality to be found.

>I get the slimes in my character's belly and is that it?

No.


 No.316468

>>316463

Indulge me here anon, what else is there to this content then. How do I get to it?

>inb4 read the ebin source code and figure it all out for yourself

Yeah nah, this shit needs a wiki.


 No.316470

>>316462

>>316463

>>316468

Nephila much like the prison content is non-canon.

>Yeah nah, this shit needs a wiki.

And right back you go to your faggot discord server/fag95/wherever you came from.


 No.316471

>>316468

The parasites tell you what to do. Do that. Then do it more until they tell you different things.

When they tell you about the high mountains, ignore them. They're lying. Or bugged, but the end result is the same, you need infestation level 10, not 5.


 No.316473

>>316471

All I've seen from the parasites is that they want cum. Nothing is specified beyond that.


 No.316474

>>316473

How many years did it take you to learn how to tie your shoes? He literally just gave you the most simple instructions possible, you fucking retard.


 No.316477

>>316474

shut the fuck up dummy poo poo head


 No.316478

>>316477

ok sorry


 No.316479

>>316478

's alright mate. Just think about what you're saying, y'know? Some people, they might not like such a rude introduction of character.


 No.316480

>>316473

So if step 1 is "do what they say" and step 2 is "keep doing it", and you've done what they said, what would that make your next step?


 No.316481

>>316480

Kill myself?


 No.316515

File: bde5a646aceda16⋯.png (59.9 KB, 702x123, 234:41, ClipboardImage.png)


 No.316519

>>316515

Did you get the previous three unique scenes for Spend Time? Did the final capstone scene play? I probably fixed this, but I want to make sure you weren't locked out of content first.


 No.316526

>>316519

I had the 100% dominant scenes with the skipping, if that counts as one or multiple I don't know. Then I power-matingpressed her to 0% dominant and just got this error.


 No.316535

File: c3d5cd379654637⋯.jpg (7.31 KB, 184x274, 92:137, Grateful_Moth.jpg)

>>316526

The bug was me forgetting to do something that properly reset the variable on load, so if you loaded a save from before you did Spend Time, that'd explain it (although that doesn't explain why the button was available). Thanks for the report, and I've uploaded a fixed version that should work fine if you still have that save from before you did Spend Time. If it doesn't, then I dunno what's going on.

https://mega.nz/#F!bKRAxKpQ!WrNiCibeU8zh-Y5_fGAMcw


 No.316539

>>316535

Alas, my current save would seem to be buggered then. I'll power through the content in the morning and see if it works then. Cheers.


 No.316541

>>316539

Sadly, the new system means save editing doesn't work for this, but I uploaded a version with a "Fix" button in her menu that'll reset Spend Time so that you don't have to redo anything.


 No.316545

>>316541

Cool beans.

Powered through the content with an old save anyway, seems to work fine in the 1.1 version.


 No.316546

>>316541

And the fix works just fine also. Many thanks.


 No.316550

>>316541

Having said it all works fine, her pregnancy seems to be reverting from gravid to slight repeatedly.


 No.316552

>>316550

Fixed and uploaded.


 No.316554

>>316552

Daughter born. Spend Time option appears and is broken. Sorry.


 No.316555

>>316554

Hm, the Spend Time button seems to have vanished of its own accord.


 No.316556

>>316555

It's supposed to vanish after you do it three times and get the final scene. Fixed it again (forgot some parentheses this time). Won't bother with the upload just yet, as this doesn't break anything else.


 No.316559

File: 1be58421d5dea9b⋯.png (87.08 KB, 771x132, 257:44, ClipboardImage.png)


 No.316588

File: 22a83155a7be9ea⋯.png (189.56 KB, 576x313, 576:313, counter.png)

File: a4d24a086930159⋯.png (231.19 KB, 723x351, 241:117, unknown subject.png)

>>316110

I did a quick run-through with the most degenerate character I could think of, a genderless naga.

Leg/foot stuff, almost all of it in the intro scene

>You’re broken from your reverie when your foot catches on something

>With slight chagrin, you look down at your feet

>The only audible sounds are the crunches of underbrush marking the steady pace of your steps.

>Your head feels light, and your legs start to give out

>Your footsteps, splashing in puddles and snapping twigs, echo in the silence of this deserted thicket.

>Your annoyed absentmindedness leads you right into an exposed root, which snags your foot and sends you spiraling to the ground.

>As a result, you’re quite surprised when you feel her knee slide in between yours

Other stuff

>She begins to grind her crotch into your abdomen, and her exposed pussy leaves a wet trail on your skin as she drags it down towards her prize.She jams a finger in your ass, and you cum, you fucking fruit.

Missing space between the sentences.

Meal->Yes repeats the first paragraph

After getting the first cocoon scene, there are two buttons for moth cave, one available and one not

Sparring stuff

>In no time, her’s eyelids begin fluttering, and you’ve no doubt they’ll regain consciousness soon.

Her's, when choking her out with naga constrict

>Will you give her what she clearly wants?You were only interested in sparring, so you help the woozy moth-girl to her feet before informing of your intentions.

Missing space, spar->leave

Fantasizing myself to a lust loss when sparring takes me from combat immediately to camp, without even the "you'll awaken in eight hours" message (possibly related to being genderless)

A certain special fight stuff

The fight tooltip has the italics tag visible.

If you fight it, then load your save and try to fight it again, you get an empty screen and can't progress. I have to close flash player between each attempt.

If you try to counter, you get hit twice and instantly lose.

If you fantasize, it actually attacks (e.g. you can block it with a shield or dodge) and the combat won't end after a few turns like it normally does.

Distancing yourself is treated as a melee attack.


 No.316590

Is there currently a way to purify Holli or get a pure Holli?


 No.316601

>>316588

>I did a quick run-through with the most degenerate character I could think of, a genderless naga.

Oh no.

>Leg/foot stuff, almost all of it in the intro scene

Much appreciated, I'm almost surprised there isn't more.

>Her's, when choking her out with naga constrict

Don't think this is my fault. Was this not broken for other fights?

>Fantasizing myself to a lust loss when sparring takes me from combat immediately to camp, without even the "you'll awaken in eight hours" message (possibly related to being genderless)

I have no idea why this would happen, so I'll check it out tomorrow.

>If you fight it, then load your save and try to fight it again, you get an empty screen and can't progress. I have to close flash player between each attempt.

Reloading the .swf should do the same thing. Believe I know what's causing this, and I'll fix it later.

>If you try to counter, you get hit twice and instantly lose.

Dunno why this happens, another morning action item.

>If you fantasize, it actually attacks (e.g. you can block it with a shield or dodge) and the combat won't end after a few turns like it normally does.

I've fixed the second half of this problem (probably? can't check now), but the first half is just odd.

Appreciate the thoroughness.


 No.316625

>>316601

>Fantasizing myself to a lust loss when sparring takes me from combat immediately to camp, without even the "you'll awaken in eight hours" message (possibly related to being genderless)

Nah, this happened to me earlier too, and my guy's a regular big dicker.


 No.316633

I fear the build decided to just not show Dolores' uncoccooning.


 No.316634

>>316633

I never got it either, but I thought I must have waited too many days at camp and missed it.


 No.316666

holy shit dude trying to download this mod set me over my daily mega limit, without having downloaded anything else today, and the download didnt even finish


 No.316675

So, I haven't played the game in nearly a year, is there enough new content to warrant a playthrough?


 No.316696

Where can I find tf items that can remove tails and horns? I want to get Raphael's perk and I ascended so I can remove the Bro Body perk and play as a girl, but the dragon tail and horns are still there.


 No.316704

>>316666

That's because you tried to download the entire history of the mod instead of the latest version.


 No.316734

>>316704

what kind of retard puts the entire history of the mod in the basic download link


 No.316744

>>316734

what kind of retard downloads everything in the folder


 No.316745

>>316744

literally everyone else only includes whats necessary in the mega download links

so, everyone who downloads literally any other porn game


 No.316748

>>316633

>>316634

None of her content is missable, this was just a mistake on my part.

New version uploaded, should have all of the reported bugs fixed. I really appreciate all the help. Now as for quality, were there any parts you guys didn't like/felt could be better?


 No.316751

>>316734

>>316745

>what kind of retard puts the entire history of the mod in the basic download link

What kind of retard can't look at what he downloads, you disgusting computer aids ridden faggot?

>literally everyone else only includes whats necessary in the mega download links

How backwards ass retarded are you to download a folder called Old Builds and then actually come in and complain about your own stupid shit? Neck yourself, retard.


 No.316755

>>316744

It's what the command line interfaces, or at least the one I use, will do by default with the link.


 No.316765

Is Raphael's code fucked up?

>be a male kid

>encounter Raphael

>didn't get the bodysuit

>guess it's because pc is a male

>ascend to a female kid

>respec to remove Bro Body

>same encounter with Raphael as a male kid

>didn't get the body suit

>guess it's because pc is a kid in general

>load old save

>ascend to adult woman and respec

>even check the shop for hummanus to remove tail and horns

>encounter Raphael

>doesn't say pc was mistaken as a lady like before

>S W O O N

>didn't get the bodysuit

What's wrong with him? The only non-human racial score is the dragon one and it's the Dragon's Breath perk.

Same thing happened in Tower of Deception. I got in without defeating Jeremiah. Heraldry is still greyed out, I clicked all the possible topics except 'Heraldry' and 'fight', leave the conversation and the boss' location is open. I was supposed to receive a necklace from the boss but I didn't get any. Is it the 'Mystic Learning' perk? I think I got it in the Old Manor, but I'm not sure.


 No.316766

>>316765

You don't get the body-suit on the first encounter, and with low standards toggled you don't need to be an adult.

Mystic learning is from the old manor. The Heraldry is from the inquisitor robe in the swamp.


 No.316780

Whats up with Aikos rape scenes all broken? Either they don't work or you get something along the lines of "!Unknown subject in “c”!


 No.316781

File: f41788748c82bcf⋯.jpg (564.18 KB, 1286x1000, 643:500, not quite like that.jpg)

Well, here we go: forcing Vapula to eat you out and leaving her starved for cum.

https://pastebin.com/YrmSikGp

Took me about as long as I expected, I don't think I'm terribly suited for doing requests in any reasonable amount of time. If I butchered her character somehow, do let me know.


 No.316785

Hyper preg ember when?


 No.316789

>>316780

She's kind of a broken mess overall, but I don't think anyone wanted to take the time to fix her, so she's remained that way for a long time.

>>316785

I believe the idea was dropped.


 No.316790

>>316789

*cries*


 No.316817

>>316780

People would probably be more willing to fix her if she wasn't literally half finished before being added to game


 No.316867

>>316780

Because nobody has reported them, most likely. Give specific details on what scenes are broken and how they're broken.


 No.316875

>>316867

The [c] he mentioned was easy enough to fix, but there are so many problems that someone will probably need to go through her with a fine toothed comb.


 No.316878

>>316875

>someone will probably need to go through her with a fine toothed comb

Again.


 No.316881

>>316878

It would probably be easier to just reimplement the whole thing using design documents


 No.316882

>>316881

But then we'd have to track down and redo all the things that've been fixed since then.


 No.316921

File: 11642a7976ad6e0⋯.png (343.08 KB, 746x588, 373:294, lra.png)

>>316748

Thanks for fixing the fight. It's actually winnable with that silly mode katana and some (okay, a lot) of luck.

Some questions, feel free to hint as vaguely as you wish:

1. Is Sylvia looking for something in particular with the give clothing option?

2. Is it possible to succeed in talking Dolores down?


 No.316925

>>316921

Wait you weren't supposed to do that what the fuck.

>1.

No. There's a slight detail that gets added in one scene at the moment, and I just realized a place where I can add another (which I'll go do right now).

>2.

Yes, it depends on the decisions you've made.


 No.316926

>>316925

>There's a slight detail that gets added in one scene at the moment

I probably missed it. I was just giving her weird things to see if I'd get a reaction.

>it depends on the decisions you've made.

It's because I told her not to care what others think, isn't it?


 No.316927

>>316926

No. You have to have not left her during childhood, not forced her to have sex before comforting her, and brought Sylvia along.


 No.316928

>>316927

Oh. It must be a residual bug from using my old save that missed the cocoon hatching, then, as my genderless freak couldn't even do the second, and the third had no impact.


 No.316932

>>316928

No, this was a different bug (stupid typo). Right after I pushed changes, too.


 No.316950

>>316765

wait, you got in without defeating jeremiah? Did you do anything out of the ordinary?


 No.316952

>>316950

shit, yep, found a bug.

sorry for the autism but I gotta fix this right now holy shit


 No.316958

>>316780

Name your favorite aiko scene, and I'll attempt to fix up the revamp-ness.


 No.316959

1.4

RUIN HAS COME TO BROWSERS, JUST FUCKING USE STANDALONE PLAYERS

https://mega.nz/#F!St0HiaTC!oNQs48SWTDvmDBLHWZuHHA

>Changelog

https://pastebin.com/CDU8byhd

>Source Code

https://gitgud.io/BelshazzarII/CoCAnon_mod


 No.316963

File: 768a22e1372f687⋯.png (641.42 KB, 598x599, 598:599, 24955-5553-23501.png)

Well done with Sylvia, Mothman. She's great content and was a pleasure to proofread some of her, I'm glad to finally see her in-game.

Now it's back with you to the proofreading coalmines with you.


 No.316970

>>316963

>Now it's back with you to the proofreading coalmines with you.

Two "with you"s.

Appreciate it. I'd also like to take this moment to thank all of you for all the help/support over these past few months. Koraeli and OCA in particular for putting up with my negative programming IQ, but most of all, Wombat, for proofreading for me from the very start. I'm sorry that I never added that futa-daughter-skullfucking that you requested like a week in, you sicko.


 No.316999

*Disabled blackfire

Is it going to be replaced/readded? Black-fire + Foxfire was my jam


 No.317002

>>316999

>replaced

In a sense.

Someday.*


 No.317008

>>316959

finally a real reason to go to the bog, keep up the good work. how long till loli vamp is done?


 No.317011

File: 787b38ea27c822a⋯.jpg (33.96 KB, 538x538, 1:1, o9dZOJu.jpg)

>>317008

jesus, why do i even bother saying nice shit if i'm just going to leave sage in the wrong spot


 No.317015

>more loli shit to appeal to the pedophiles

Can we stop and get back to creating actual content? Furfags may be cancer but at least they're not sexualising kids.


 No.317016

>>317015

>discord is banning cub porn from furry channels.


 No.317018

>>317016

And that's a good thing.

anyways.

MOAR NEPHuh… Nehuhh… Neliuhhh- VORE SLIME GIRL CONTENT PLEASE.

Also, what the fuck is there for it in terms of content? Do I just keep collecting various forms of nut forever?


 No.317019

>>317015

This update didn't add any loli, and what do you mean "we," faggot? If you want other content, make it.


 No.317021

>>317015

>we

You aren't one of us faggot go play LT or something.


 No.317023

>>316959

>You should only get herm children now if you or the other parent is a herm(mostly Koraeli)

Why, exactly? Sounds necessary

>Disabled obtaining Joy (people who have her will keep her)

Does that mean Joy's essentially removed from the game? And disabled for quality issues, I thought Joy was fine. I liked it, just sounds like finished content was removed because it wasn't popular? Not sure I understand that when we have something as niche as guro


 No.317026

>>317021

>it's another episode of an anon tries to make it the cool kids only club on a basket weaving forum dedicated to jerking it off to anime girls


 No.317028

>>317026

Its a mongolian basket weaving forum, get it right you quasi homunculus.


 No.317029

>>316781

Accepting my new station in life:

>//Tooltip: "Force the cum-slut to pleasure only your female parts."

Could consider having the "only" be contingent on having non-female parts.

>waiting for your purple bitch to get to work.

I personally find "your purple bitch" more amusing than you probably intended it to be.

>the cock-hungry demoness

I'm gonna be livid if there's a possessive down the line.

>shutting that trap of hers and making clear you won't be tolerating any 'buts' here.

Recommend adding an "it" after "clear."

>before you grab her head with both

That "both" is too far from a "hand" to work.

>drowning any exclamations in your cunt.

"Any exclamations" is a lot more odd than something like "any protests."

>the purple sex-goddess

It honestly probably shouldn't be funny to me.

>the copious amount of fluids leaking from twat

your

>in a single smooth motion

Could consider a comma.

>A bitch, indeed.[maybe require silly mode:( A bitch in heat.)]

I don't think the repetition really works out so great here.

>Seeking eye contact with your lubricious slave

Steady there, you already have a character to show off your vocabulary.

>you decide to reward her by lessening the iron grip on her flowing mane of hair and instead rake your fingers

raking (the "instead" doesn't really make sense if it's

>Your gratuity summons a playful smile onto the demoness' lips

I don't know if mild hair stroking counts as "gratuity," and I hate you.

>Smirking, you entangle your fingers into her hair again in order to pull her more forcefully to you

I recommend "into you' or "toward you," and "entangle" doesn't work the best with "into."

>And it's showing.

What's showing?

>you commandingly shove the hornless succubus

"Hornless" is an odd detail to bring up here.

>her lengthy tongue sliding free and making Vapula utter a whine for just a second

Her tongue is making her whine?

>revelling

-l (for me)

>With shivering, climactic vehemence

Don't know that "vehemence" works the best here.

>all the while your [cock] twitches and sprays its coveted load onto the dirt to let it seep into Mareth's earth

This is an independent clause just jammed into the middle of this sentence. You could go with "your [cock] twitching and spraying […] all the while."

>succubus'

It's just dumb.

>Her lengthy tongue flops with a wet slap onto her face

I'd recommend reordering those prepositions. Since you need "face" next to "where," you could put the "with" at the start of the sentence.

>she heaves herself around to the fading puddle of jizz you splattered above her head.

Don't think "heaves herself around to" quite works, and jizz doesn't fade.

>A meager meal, but one she's right now evidently not vain enough to resist licking up from the dirty ground

From the tone of the scene, I'd assumed you'd deny her this.

>miserably trying to scoop up

Misplaced modifier

>The kiss gradually evolves to a lick

into

>which in turn degrades into unrestrained slurping as she's intent on cleaning

You need a comma after "slurping," but the "as" is still a bit awkward.


 No.317030

>>317028

>quasi homunculus

Jesus christ I don't know why, but that got me good.


 No.317035

>>317023

>Why, exactly? Sounds necessary

Did you mean unnecessary? If so, because people might not want herm kids, obviously. The majority of people who like futa will be one or have the parent be one, and it makes little sense that a significant portion of your babies are herms for no genetic reason. Suppose there could be some type of toggle, but it's usually preferable not to use those.

>(people who have her will keep her)

>Does that mean Joy's essentially removed from the game?

Are you disabled? You can also edit the flags if you really really want her.

>And disabled for quality issues, I thought Joy was fine.

Doesn't really fit the character, the transformation scenario is laughable, and the writing is standard Revamp quality (i.e., shit). Also, Satan was really adamant about it.

>I liked it, just sounds like finished content was removed because it wasn't popular?

We've been trying to clean up some of the worse Revamp additions as of late. This has been pretty unanimous among the devs, it has nothing to do with personal taste/popularity.


 No.317041

>>317035

As a slight addendum to the futa kids discussion, Izma can still birth tigersharks if dedicked.


 No.317047

>>317035

I read it as if either is herm then the offspring will always be herm, but I think I was wrong on that account.

I still think Joy was fine, but I guess I can't complain when you guys are still supporting this the way you are, so you do you


 No.317062

How do I get to the Tower of Apotheosis, and what are Circe's Knowledge options? I got Marae's Blessing, Inquisitors, Manor, Nameless Horror, Tel Adre, and Sand Witches.


 No.317068

File: de50ba0b96d0afe⋯.jpg (189.67 KB, 521x521, 1:1, 1386090367792.jpg)

>>316959

BUT WHERE'S THE ALICE UPDATE!?


 No.317070

>>316959

Who are Joy and Blackfire and why have I never heard of them before?


 No.317073

>>317070

Joy is Jojo who's drunk bimbo liquor, blackfire is a spell like whitefire, but edgier.

I didn't think joy was THAT bad, especially compared to some other crap, but I'm pretty biased toward bimbos.


 No.317078

>>317073

Joy was great. Literally lose corruption through fucking her. I thought the whole point of this mod was to add content. Not take it away.

Unrelated note, text is going off screen. What's broken?


 No.317081

>>316959

>update that removes more shit than it adds

what the fuck why


 No.317085

Will there ever be an ios version released? We got android, but no love for us iPhone niggas


 No.317086

>>316959

How long does it take Doloras to come out of the Cocoon? I've been waiting for 50 days and I still can't go back.


 No.317095

>>316959

Are you sure these changes:

>*Small change to Rathazul's menu

>*You should only get herm children now if you or the other parent is a herm(mostly Koraeli)

>*Disabled blackfire

*Disabled pure Jojo sex

>*Disabled obtaining Joy (people who have her will keep her)

>Those were disabled due to quality issues.

>*Disabled Isabella cowgirl babies

>*Added several new parser tags(mostly an internal change)

are actually in this update? I can't seem to find them on the git at least.


 No.317096

What's goin' on with saving to file? It saves it as any type of file and then doesn't recognise it when you try to load it. I'm trying to load it into the .minerva editor and it won't take it either. What's broken chief? Also, where tf do I find the quick save files? They're not where the game says they should be.


 No.317102

If anyone knows how, to update the CoCEditor for use with this mod, you only have to edit the CoCEd.data file to include/add the appropriate flags and changes. It might be a bit of a pain to do it all, but I feel like /hgg/ would thank you a whole lot.

Alternatively, you can use the CoCED.data as a template file and create a separate addition to the editor. CoCED.DataRevamp was done this way..


 No.317106


 No.317110

>>317095

I compiled the builds using mothman's repo. I'll merge later today.


 No.317115

>>317085

You'd have to go on the coc mods discord and ask someone there to figure out how to make iOS packages. I really have no idea how, and from my experience Apple is an absolute cunt when it comes to stuff like this.

>>317062

If nothing is broken, you can get to the Tower by beating the Tower of Deception and having very high spell power. You'll get a warning when it shows up.


 No.317116

>>317029

>Could consider having the "only" be contingent on having non-female parts.

Since she gives you the strap-on in that case, it still needs that clarification.

>I personally find "your purple bitch" more amusing than you probably intended it to be.

A lot of these dumb names for her I took from her existing content. Blame her original author, not me.

>Recommend adding an "it" after "clear."

What? I assume you mean "that", not "it". Or an "it" before.

>That "both" is too far from a "hand" to work.

Is it? It is ambiguous, but I do think the flow and context make it clear what "both" is referring to.

>Steady there, you already have a character to show off your vocabulary.

That was actually one I saw while looking through her content, believe it or not. Someone liked his fancy words, or at least this one.

>(the "instead" doesn't really make sense if it's

Unfinished sentence.

>"gratuity,"

Your feeling of disgust is mutual. And eh, it's something extra given for a service, so I think it fits enough.

>"Hornless" is an odd detail to bring up here.

My reason for that is that if she weren't hornless, you'd use them to shove her back right there. Not working?

>Don't know that "vehemence" works the best here.

Not the best, no, but I didn't want to imply any love by using "passion" or "ardour", and I think "vehemence" is a decent way to get the forcefulness across.

>Don't think "heaves herself around to" quite works

Neither do I, but I can't think of any other concise alternative that could be interpreted as "turning herself around with great effort".

>From the tone of the scene, I'd assumed you'd deny her this.

It's kind of a coin toss between that and watching her debase herself. I'd give a choice, but I don't really like that for the very last paragraph of a sex scene.

>Misplaced modifier

"trying to miserably scoop up", or is the "miserably" wrong here entirely?

>>316970

>Spoiler

You never fail to utterly disappoint me.


 No.317122

File: 8ffd56dca696b97⋯.jpg (95.78 KB, 805x463, 805:463, brokenIntro.jpg)

Some recent or recent-ish change has broken the slimegirl intro.

The code in encounterGooGirl has

outputText("waters. You pause, trying to figure out what the shape might be. Just under the surface of the water, there appears to be a fist-sized heart shedding a crimson glow. Leaning closer, you gaze down into your reflection only to find your face rising up with pursed lips, trying to kiss you! You jerk backwards and the pseudo-head quivers, resolving its face into a gooey-looking girl, her ");
startCombat(new GooGirl());
outputText(gooColor() + " slime body sculpting itself into a humanoid shape. The girl curiously tilts her head to one side, as if trying to figure out why you're backing away, before she happily surges forward!");

My best guess is something changed in startCombat or a function called by it, which cuts of that output. Or maybe the code is not executed at all?


 No.317137

>>317081

>update that removes more shit than it adds

Not even close.


 No.317159

was the helspawn incest route finished in this mod? since i cant see /hgg/ cowtowing to savins manchild temper tantrums


 No.317163

>>317159

That depends. Did you learn how tor read in middle school? Even for someone like you it shouldn't be impossible to read changelogs or look in the game. Then again, you're more than likely the same retard who couldn't even download from MEGA properly.


 No.317166

>>317163

damn bitch what crawled up your pussy and died


 No.317183

>>316959

Disabling Jojo is a bad move, OCA.


 No.317184

>>317086

>>317106

Well I fucked this one up, didn't I? Will have a fix out later today.

>>317116

>Or an "it" before.

That

>but I do think the flow and context make it clear what "both" is referring to.

Flow and content don't have any bearing on whether or not this has a proper antecedent, and it doesn't.

>Unfinished sentence.

I was considering deleting the whole thing, as I wasn't 100% confident in it.

>And eh, it's something extra given for a service, so I think it fits enough.

I didn't even come close to thinking you meant it in that sense, and I have the feeling others won't either.

>Not working?

With an explanation of that, it might, but as-is, no.

>"trying to miserably scoop up", or is the "miserably" wrong here entirely?

#1

>You never fail to utterly disappoint me.

I love you too.


 No.317190

>>317078

The purpose of the mod is to improve the game. Sometimes that's by expansion, sometimes it's by editing existing content, and sometimes it's by deleting content that fails to meet standards.


 No.317195

>>317183

Why do people who can't read play text games?


 No.317201

Everyone is talking about a mousemorph called Joy from the revamp mod, and I still don't know who the fuck she is; anyone mind telling me what she was and how she could've been recruited?


 No.317203

>>317201

Bimbo Jojo.


 No.317204

>>317201

Well someone asked that question and had it answered a scant eight hours ago, so I repeat, why do people who can't read play text games?


 No.317229

i accidentally told sophie to fuck off and my last save was like 3 levels ago

will she come back? could i edit the save in some way?


 No.317231

>>317203

name shouldve been bobo smfh


 No.317235

>removed Joy

Intellectually I understand why.

But my dick is still sad that bimbo-sensei is being axed for being "below standards" instead of fixed to meet those standards.

So Marble is next on the chopping block, right? Please say yes.


 No.317236

>>317235

By all means, Joy will 100% be assured a return if you rewrite her to be up to standards. Fear not, nobody will stop you from bringing her up to standards.

In fact, you can still download all of her scenes in one single package on the git to use as you wish for your rewriting process. It's completely open.

Bimbos may be trash content, but being written well will go in regardless. So hop to it.


 No.317237

>>316959

>disabled blackfire

But why?


 No.317242

I get blackfire being disabled, not so much about Joy.

Considering people is kinda not ok with her being disabled,what's this "below standards" meme, what does she lacks or needs to be ok? having a retarded bimbo character get less retarded by teachings and lessons seemed a good idea.

The only bad thing about her was that retarded transformation scene where Jojo out of nowhere drank the bottle.


 No.317245

File: 816709d426ac3b8⋯.mp4 (1.6 MB, 476x268, 119:67, Tap.mp4)

>>317081

>>317073

I expected some reaction about removing anything, even if it's content written by a brazilian grade-schooler with a learning disability. TFing Jojo requires him to act out-of-character in a convoluted scenario that makes little sense. From there, the writing is all sorts of trash with the player acting as brain-dead as the bimbo, coming to retarded conclusions for no apparent reasons. The bimbofication also breaks consistency as Jojo keeps his dick without explanation. So you get a retarded dickgirl that your character is head-over-heels in love with on a romantic level, and grammar goes to shit. It also retroactively breaks his character as Joy explains how she has always felt blah blah blah things. If it were something as simple as cleaning up a few mistakes, she'd just go up on bounty board or I'd do it myself, but she'd need much more hefty overhaul to be up to vanilla CoC's standards. Vanilla would have rejected this, and many people here look down on how low vanilla's standards were.

>>317183

Blame me, all these removals were my call. Jojo is not removed, though, only his sex scenes and the bimbo stuff.

>>317231

Turning cringe into comedy

>>317237

Regarding blackfire, it's counter to the thematic design of Black Magic. I'm open to designing new spells if people have troubling keeping their offense going with White&Black. Should rewrite the text for TK BLast too. Not remove, just make it a bit more thematic, as that one's kind of close to working as gray magic. Leech, I feel, is perfect. So pitch your ideas. If you want another black spell, I suggest coming up with another white too, but adding another gray would mean we get 3 of each. Charge/Blind/Whitefire for white, Arouse/Heal/Might for Black, Leech/TK/Something for gray. It's not necessary, but it'd be kind of nice to even it out.

Thematically, White/Black should be as vanilla intended. White is more raw power and non-physical effects like fire, magnetic electric current, and flashes of light. Black is bodily-magic, about manipulating body chemistry and whatnot with things like arousal, or healing wounds, or buffing up your body. Lore-wise, black is meant to be harder to use on your own body than on others, so coming up with another spell that is about affecting the opponent could be good. Gray should be a fusion of the two, leech being a good example of charging your weapon with an effect that is bodily-centric. TK could be reworded to manipulate the body of the opponent to compel force on it. Could even reword both gray into black spells since it doesn't take too much work to accomplish, but black magic is probably best not doing direct damage.


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