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File: d60a140e59df0e1⋯.jpg (33.95 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, 1262514098911275919.jpg)

 No.322474

This is the Corruption of Champions mod being developed by OtherCoCAnon and the denizens of /hgg/.

Corruption of Champions is a text-based flash game overhauled with new dungeons, new mechanics, new characters, and a lot of lolis.

The mod is open to content submissions, anons can and are writing new content to be implemented all the time.

Downloads

Latest Version (1.4.2)

https://mega.nz/#F!St0HiaTC!oNQs48SWTDvmDBLHWZuHHA

Use a standalone flash player (projector), this shit is no longer supported by any web browser.

Remember to save to file to prevent save loss.

https://www.adobe.com/support/flashplayer/debug_downloads.html

Information

>Game Related

Source Code: https://gitgud.io/BelshazzarII/CoCAnon_mod

Changelog: https://pastebin.com/CDU8byhd

>Thread Related

Previous thread: >>319748

Thread Archives: https://gitgud.io/Blank/CoCAnon_mod/raw/OPT/Archives

OP Template: https://pastebin.com/raw/q38Ccy3n

>Writing Related

Content Submissions (Chronicles): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iuDsLw3PxshvL8yYUkOeiJr6DSJ7zpjaeGvumF65l_I

Submission & Misc. Archive: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1LGK4sPuWH69iEZ9ZmX2fnfDRrhj7h4hQ

Writing Guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PGysInt0S0VHYvPv0b__4xpHqrfbE-zikQiRonsnUsU

Bounty Board: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZUtah0gtbBQzB5kM7wElYlcNAwU8-QOgNkovO0_7WUI

 No.322477

File: 33d3777287e7771⋯.jpg (30.73 KB, 373x346, 373:346, antimeanieninja.jpg)

Only nice anons are allowed to post in the thread this time!


 No.322479

>>322470

Saying government isn't a paranoia thing, mental health is actually paid for by the government in some places rather than costing absurd amounts like the US.

Vastly more often than not, therapy is a scam, and that applies regardless of nation.

>>322477

The thread updated and I erased the rest of my rant because of you.


 No.322480

>>322479

>Vastly more often than not, therapy is a scam, and that applies regardless of nation.

I'm not sure it's a scam, it's just one of those fields in which we know very little. I mean, we still have no idea what consciousness even is, let alone everything else. Psychology is essentially just hitting the head with a hammer until it starts to resemble a normal human being, using tactics that have worked at some point on someone, but without knowing why they worked or even if they'll work on someone else.


 No.322482

>>322477

Shit, but that disqualifies 3/4 of our main writing staff.


 No.322484

>>322480

Therapy is essentially trying to troubleshoot a black box. We know the inputs and we know some of the outputs, and we can only guess on everything in between.


 No.322485

File: 226044c962dd602⋯.jpg (152.52 KB, 853x500, 853:500, nice.jpg)

>>322477

Thank you for your hard work.


 No.322486

This game needs more headpats and teddy bear gifting. Any interest in an adoptable sheep loli from Owca? I've started stringing some ideas together and currently have the motivation to pad this out. She would be a simple pure character for headpats and healing for now (but I would like to make her unfur-able, lewd-able, and corrupt-able later on).


 No.322489

File: dc338ccacda2fbe⋯.jpg (67.83 KB, 368x429, 368:429, c455db19413cc051ec2a17459e….jpg)

>>322486

>Any interest in an adoptable sheep loli from Owca?

Give her unusually wide hips and I'm in.


 No.322490

>>322489

Give her unusually wide hips and I'm out


 No.322491

>>322489

>>322490

Oh no, what now?


 No.322492

>>322491

Give her usually wide hips ezpz.


 No.322494

>>322492

But how do we define "usual" in this situation? Usual for our world?


 No.322501

>>322491

As this would barely affect her actual scenes, you could specify that the hip egg works on her and have it be customizable.


 No.322502

File: 7101d1d2e7a011e⋯.jpg (322.39 KB, 1307x528, 1307:528, 9c9879f9902661cd713aeed16c….jpg)

Therapy is for redditfags

so back to reddit


 No.322504

Why didn't the Snuggles and Fran anon just uploaded his stuff so that they might finish them someday?


 No.322506

>>322504

It was uploaded, he specifically took all of his pastes down so that that wouldn't happen.


 No.322509

File: 7f3873c96db2d22⋯.png (966.11 KB, 763x1091, 763:1091, [Orenjiya (Orenji)] Movie ….png)

>>322477

Damn! Foiled again!


 No.322510

>>322506

Fuck.

If he still lurks around, he should just release it at least to salvage it.

it's a shame because it was somewhat decent quality.


 No.322511

File: cdd337245b76e7a⋯.png (432.06 KB, 1114x836, 557:418, Poison_girl_1_5_p7.png)

>>322477

You won't stop me from bullying the newfags

>>322486

Teddy bear gifting AND headpats?! Yes.


 No.322512

>>322502

I will treat you with my dick


 No.322515

File: 9a35fe114a99ec8⋯.gif (96.1 KB, 443x549, 443:549, Futanari Yukari-san ni Gya….gif)


 No.322517

>>322486

Isn't that just that lamb from FoE, only you actually get to take her home/put her at the farm?


 No.322518

File: 5a108365cf1a5a6⋯.png (390 KB, 666x500, 333:250, Chronicles.png)

Content Submissions (Chronicles):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iuDsLw3PxshvL8yYUkOeiJr6DSJ7zpjaeGvumF65l_I (UPDATED)

———————————————

A couple submissions that have had their author gone for many months now have been removed. As always they can be found in the submission archive.

>>322477

Damn. I guess I'll delete all my shit and leave.


 No.322519

>>322518

No, he said only nice anons. As a disgusting namefag, you're good.


 No.322520

> * Helspawn no longer calls you by name in her sex scenes, along with some other Helspawn fixes.

Stop taking in merge requests from people purging shit just because they dont like it. This wasn't a bug and had no reason to remove her saying your name


 No.322521

>>322520

It wasn't a merge request, and her calling you by name was inconsistent with literally all of her content. Intentional or not, it was flat-out objectively wrong.


 No.322522

>>322520

Helspawn calls you by a parental term almost always, the times where she didn't was just an inconsistency. It's like calling your mom Kellie instead of mom. It's a weird thing to do, at least in America


 No.322524

BVA male fuck notes:

>re-affirm

no hyphen

>you hold off immediately getting to business

Add an "on" after "off."

>you lean down and forward, and begin rubbing her pale

I'd recommend no comma

>her pale, humanoid pussy.

Jesus, you've truly begun to embody the parser.

>A single digit slips in quite easily, accompanied by lewd whimpering.

This would imply that her whimpering is accompanying her digit in slipping in.

>you wield your [cock] at the base

Don't think "wield" is the verb you want there.

>[if cockthickness>(idk)

Well neither do I.

>groan through grit-teeth

No hyphen, unless you're trying to convey that her teeth are covered in grits through a compound.

>Her tight, velvety insides writhe on your member like the softest petals of Marae's personal glade.

You don't necessarily know who that is, and I'm going to repeat my sleep question.

>you get yourself used to the feeling before pumping away in earnest.

>You pull back and buck your hips again, forcing a gasp from the alraune.

These two actions don't really flow into each other well.

>Not looking to suit her desires,

"Suit" is odd, as whether you suit her desires would be mainly up to your appearance/who you are.

>sliding through the chaotic pleasure-scape of her climaxing innards.

I'd ask if you were intoxicated, but you seemed pretty sober when suggesting "wonder tunnel" and such.

>helping further to keep your member gushing.

This is worded pretty awkwardly, partially due to the order.

>{exp, money, loot}

I think it'd be a huge pain to have this here instead of at the end of the scene, but I could be wrong.

>"Do you mind if I," she begins, eyes rolling in nonchalant fashion. "Suck you clean?"

Either make that comma into an ellipsis or merge these sentences.


 No.322526

>>322522

How about we don't write sex scenes based on what's normal in America.


 No.322527

>>322526

Anon, as this is a no-bully thread, I'm not going to insult you, but I highly recommend you head somewhere else before you bring it upon yourself.


 No.322528

>>322526

How about shutting the fuck up because you don't know what the word "consistency" means.


 No.322530

>>322526

The game is written in American English, a lot of typical norms of American speech carries over, like calling your parents mom and dad rather than by their real name. I believe similar behavior is done in most other countries, though with slight changes like mum or pap. I don't think there was ever a reason Helspawn wouldn't call you by the parental term, just writers making mistakes.

Like how sometimes writers would have Shouldra say "champ" instead of "Champ". Consistency, you know? Make them all fall in line with each other.

You could make the argument with regards to helspawn having two moms as an excuse to call one by name, especially if both are present, but that's not how it was being used iirc


 No.322531

>>322526

If someone wants to write a child that calls their parents (or just you) by name, there's no problem with that at all. But Helspawn isn't that character. She doesn't do that anywhere else. When it only happens in one scene and contradicts everything else, it's wrong and should be corrected.


 No.322533

>>322526

Every other scene has been written that way. If you want to rewrite everything according to Danish customs instead, feel free.


 No.322534

>>322533

Danish protest pig waifu please.


 No.322535

>>322526

>>322531

Just like the scene where Akbal was called a black panther was wrong. It's not that you can't have a black panther, it's just that Akbal isn't one. It's inconsistent. It has nothing to do with norms.


 No.322537

>>322535

If it was normal to flip between calling your parent mom/dad or by name, I don't think it would be considered a consistency thing. I think it'd be glossed over as normal, even if more often than not it's one over the other.

So it's not "nothing to do with norms."

It's mostly the consistency, but norms are why we notice


 No.322539

File: 2b8069440cc1708⋯.jpg (51.21 KB, 719x720, 719:720, consider.jpg)

Harpies with flat chests


 No.322540

>>322539

You mean the ones that have been in the game since time immemorial?


 No.322541

File: 2b8069440cc1708⋯.jpg (51.21 KB, 719x720, 719:720, consider.jpg)

>>322540

Harpies with flatter chests


 No.322546

File: 9a3880432f53b24⋯.gif (215.59 KB, 500x255, 100:51, Consider the jiggle.gif)

>>322539

Genie whose only wish is to exchange the slave bands that bind her to the lamp for a wedding ring

possibly found in a Cavern of Amazements beneath the shifting sands of the deep desert


 No.322558

File: 347a835a0f17a0a⋯.gif (1014.75 KB, 500x245, 100:49, 1516601022199.gif)

Did 2hufag seriously quit again? What a waste, i actually liked his shit. He gets sad/salty way too easily.

Rip, i guess, at least for now, gods knows if he will come back, again.


 No.322570

File: 2930856e025fb05⋯.png (146.95 KB, 404x310, 202:155, 1454912710739.png)

Transforming the erlking without putting anything on his gross deer-snout: https://pastebin.com/q2F4m8aM

Almost all of it is removing the champion's blather.


 No.322600

Idea: Let us give Telly different (non-lewd) outfits so she can wear different ones at random when you visit her.


 No.322615

>>322600

better idea: lewd telly outfits


 No.322632

>>322570

>your slutty, little princess.

I know it was in the original, but I'd recommend removing the comma.


 No.322695

>>322539

Loli harpies?


 No.322697


 No.322701

>>322695

sounds good to me


 No.322702

>>322695

Wasn't there a submission for keeping one of Sophie's daughters as a loli? Did that ever get finished?


 No.322704

So what exactly are these Amily "sleeping scenes"?


 No.322708

>>322702

The daughter lolification itself was finished, but Satan never wrote any sex scenes beyond cunnilingus.

>>322704

Scene, singular, and you just ask her to sleep with you.


 No.322710

>>322708

Well i guess i know what i am going to request when the stars are right


 No.322715

>>322710

Request more shark content.


 No.322716

>>322715

You're already getting shark content in the current (delayed) request.


 No.322719

>>322716

Are they? I thought yuribot stepped up to the plate on that one


 No.322721

>>322719

Yuribot did a yuri version, but I'm fairly sure the original requester wanted daughter dicking, and Satan never said the request was invalidated.


 No.322725

>>322715

How about fucking shark loli daughters in the boat when you fucked 7-10 sharkgirls in one day?


 No.322728

let the sharks rest for a bit


 No.322731

>>322570

Nice. Would this still properly account for getting the golden antlers and cane? It's hard to tell with just the excerpts.


 No.322732

>>322731

What do you mean? Only small parts of the text were changed, and none of the changed parts had anything to do with getting those. If you meant the no sex version, it explicitly says that you get those.


 No.322733

>>322732

I thought that was on the bounty board and a requirement? This is the no bully thread, so please don't if the question was dumb.


 No.322737

>>322733

It's okay, anon, everyone makes dumb posts. However, I don't even know what you're confused about. Nothing related to getting the antlers/cane was changed, so everything works the exact same as before.


 No.322739

>>322725

Difficult to pull off considering the amount of anemones and cultists and Marae bothering oneself.


 No.322740

File: 586792dfa7328fe⋯.jpg (1.47 MB, 3000x1687, 3000:1687, Tomboy Doomguy.jpg)


 No.322742

File: 1053e8e90c907e9⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 343.05 KB, 1280x1000, 32:25, 5a03d66672f9562f9cd319ea62….jpg)

>>322740

>not liking guro


 No.322744

>>322740

>hating pregnant

Fuck off, you literal faggot.


 No.322745

File: 62066d48b4cd994⋯.gif (639.49 KB, 512x512, 1:1, NOBULLY.gif)

>>322744

Stop that right now!


 No.322746

File: d332b123b555cbb⋯.png (969.23 KB, 1054x907, 1054:907, ClipboardImage.png)

>>322740

What do you have against insects?


 No.322747

>>322731

It should, I think. Actually getting the items in your inventory is done outside of this. Though there is one odd thing in the original scene: the cane is knocked away at the start and never mentioned again until it shows up in your bag. Is it a creepy cursed artifact? Did the author forget about it? Who knows.


 No.322749

File: 3ad0532f5099049⋯.webm (1.98 MB, 480x270, 16:9, 52607539.webm)

>>322721

My mistake then, I shrugged it off after seeing someone upload what looked like probably what was asked for.

Caught some sick, so I've mostly been laying down and not using my head too much after getting home the past couple days.

>>322742

That's teQteQ, good artist. I am going to share some more

>>322747

Wasn't it added in revamp? I seem to recall updating an old save and just *finding* the cane magically, presumably because it checked that I removed erlikng before updating from vanilla… Actually, I still have that old save. Let me just load it up and click fix

Out of nowhere, a cane appears on your bedroll. It looks like it once belonged to the Erlking. Perhaps the cane has been introduced into the game, and you’ve already taken revenge on the Erlking? Regardless, you pick it up. You place a cane that once belonged to Erlking in your first pouch.


 No.322756

>>322749

I always wondered why we couldn't fuck the Dullahan's neckhole.


 No.322757

>>322749

Stay hydrated or something i have no idea what you are sick of


 No.322759

File: d552b29ee283894⋯.jpg (103.72 KB, 466x514, 233:257, 1551655589279.jpg)

Is there a reason why we can't kill the corrupted spider"girls" or these disgusting minotaurs?

I see no logical reason why a pure hero/paladin would leave these things alive


 No.322761

Why the fuck would you disable joy?


 No.322762

>>322759

Your job is to purge demons everything else is a hobby


 No.322764

>>322761

Search the previous thread and set yourself on fire, dumb newfag.


 No.322766

>>322761

very out of character for Jojo, needs retooling to make it work properly.


 No.322767

>>322761

This will never end, will it? I thought we were better than this.

>>322764

Better than this too.


 No.322769

Oh if only a bimbo liquor didn't completely change your personality. Such a shame…

It's basically consigned to the trash bin cause no one's ever gonna really spend the time to rework it.

Now I have to slap the code back in and compile it myself.

Oh but Hellspawn fuck isn't out of character. Nice going you fucking autists.


 No.322770

>>322769

Why would you do this to us? We were going to have a no bully thread, but you had to come and make a post like that.


 No.322771

>>322747

>Though there is one odd thing in the original scene: the cane is knocked away at the start and never mentioned again until it shows up in your bag.

If you're the one who wrote these fixes, would you mind adding a something along the lines of you seeing the cane in the bushes as you head home and picking it up to fix that?


 No.322772

Because when you make a decision this retarded you deserve it


 No.322774

>>322772

Anon, why are you here if you don't even know how to reply to posts? I'd tell you to lurk, but you probably don't know what that means.


 No.322775

>>322761

>>322769

>>322772

Fuck off, you dumb discord immigrant. Go back to sucking off Kitteh and all those other dumbfucks or something. Fucking hell, you don't even know how to reply to a post, what a humongous faggot you are.


 No.322776

>>322775

Shoot me for being lazy.

Nah. I'll go back and write more stuff

for TiTS & CoC 2 because my writing is actually good enough for those games unlike you rejects.


 No.322777

>>322776

That's gonna make you friends.


 No.322778

>>322776

>Nah. I'll go back and write more stuff for TiTS & CoC 2 because my writing is actually good enough for those games unlike you rejects.

Yeah, no kidding that you'd fit right in with Savin and Fenoxo.


 No.322779

>>322776

>Nah. I'll go back and write more stuff for TiTS & CoC 2 because my writing is actually good enough for those games unlike you rejects.

Was this meant to be bragging? I hope you don't have to wait much longer before realizing you're a walking joke.


 No.322780

>>322776

>TiTS

>CoC 2

Please do, your kind is not welcome here.


 No.322782

>>322776

>TiTS

….guess you must either be very very gay to like the amount dicks Tits has or a furry or both.

>CoC 2

To be honest(hope i don't get alot of flak)Coc2 isn't THAT bad,i really liked the option to lie to that shitty succubus to get closer to her only for me to attack her.

It shows that you can still be 0% corrupt and be an evil or ruthless hero,as opposed to Coc1 which means 0% corruption you are just a pussy that talks about stars with kiha.


 No.322785

File: 8ede0d3f943c37f⋯.jpg (44.32 KB, 500x472, 125:118, 1420614144472.jpg)

>>322776

7/10 in content, but you modified your message to fit the audience better to get the reaction you wanted, which gives you an extra 2 points.

Final score: 9/10.


 No.322790

Okay, back to it:

>She looks like she could need some help

"use" again

>You'll take good care of her, you assure her, and lead her to the nearest stone pillar

Mixing tenses like this is pretty awkward, and the interjection doesn't help.

>for support she'll likely need.

Add a "the" after "for."

>Perhaps, but you start out low on the girl's back

I don't think this "but" is justified, as your starting location wouldn't really assuage any potential suspicions.

>sweeping through the little brush tuft of hair she has

Remove "brush."

>you run upwards again

This doesn't work, but you could add a "your fingers."

>Drawing ever tighter,

This doesn't work, make it "closer."

>you push your naked body against Marielle's backside.

"Backside" means ass, not back.

>She jumps a little when your nipples dig into her cold skin, fidgeting.

Your nipples are fidgeting? Anyway, you usually don't see participles moved to the end like this when they're all alone. It can be done for effect, but it's not fitting here.

>You tell her a second time not to worry about anything, you're right here with her.

This doesn't work as indirect dialogue (the comma splice makes it just another independent clause unrelated to "tell"). Add an "as" after "anything."

>She voices nothing further, but seems to relent to you

This "but" doesn't work on its own, but you could add an "instead" to fix that.

>Giving Marielle's chest a final squeeze, you ease downwards, over her delicate midriff, and towards her nethers.

The second comma is a bit questionable, but the last one is pretty icky.

>Not yet giving in to that

What is this "that"? It can't be "nethers" as it's singular, but that wouldn't make a lot of sense anyway.

>before sliding down her scarred legs and feet

I'd recommend removing "feet," as you can't really slide down those, and certainly not at the same time as her legs.

>giving the visibly titillated girl a bit of a show.

No you're not, you're behind her.

>when you finally brush her sensitive labia.

I'd recommend an "against" after "brush."

>as you insistently stroke it

"Insistently" is a pretty odd choice.

>On a rough forwards stroke

The adjective can only be "forward."

>you let go of one end, and, voraciously, you pierce her tight slit once more

Why the double "you," and why make "voraciously" a parenthetical?

>scraping her inner walls in ways that nothing else could.

Why not?

>You feel one of her hands interlace its fingers with yours, the rest holding it fast in place

Your hand isn't here to be that "it"'s antecedent.

>Her back arches in climactic bliss all the while you never let up

"All the while" is an adverbial construction, so this reads as two clauses just stuck together with nothing, not even a comma, joining them. "While" would still be awkward.

>your squelching thrusts

Jeez why squelching who would ever use that word to describe something entering a bodily orifice I mean come on.

>intend to make this surpass her previous peak

I thought we'd gotten this one out of you. "Intent on making."

>, quenching your own lust as much as hers.

One of the awkward without "and"s.

>you're abruptly forced to hold her entire weight to not let her crash to the stone ground, three arms limply dangling down, the fourth hand still weakly grasping yours.

This absolute construction doesn't work very well, and this sentence is a bit long (though not put together poorly enough that that's a critical problem).

>You call to her, hurriedly drawing out of her depths to lower her to the ground

What do you mean by "drawing her out of her depths" and how would it help lower her to the ground?

>and check

You can generally only omit the stuff after "check" when it's clear what you're checking (i.e., it's already been brought up).

>Her heart is still beating, her breath is calm, but the lights are out.

I'd recommend adding an "and" after "beating."

>and splash some water onto her face

on

Alright, I expect a little something in return, capiche?


 No.322795


 No.322808

>>322782

>To be honest(hope i don't get alot of flak)Coc2 isn't THAT bad

The main problem with CoC2 is that there's no downloadable version and might never be at this rate. There's not a lot of content, which is to be expected from that clique, but it's pretty passable tbh.

It mostly just baffles me that they have paid staff working on a sequel to a game that never got a proper ending, while the project they kickstarted for hundreds of thousands of dollars, while getting patreon monies, which they'd fucked around on making dozens of bare-bones side content waifus instead of banging out complete planets and systems. Fuck me, TiTS has been in development since before I was at University, which I've now finished, and the fuckwits haven't built the ship system, haven't finish Myrellion's civil war content, Uveto is still a barren wasteland in terms of story content (where the fuck are my psionics?) while the pirate shithole is being developed at a god damn fucking crawl.

Actually infuriating how a project with some decent potential has been so abysmally managed.


 No.322821

>>322808

The problem with TiTS is that they are TOO SUCCESSFUL on Patreon. There are so many degenerates demanding horsedicked furry waifus for cash that nothing is done on actual meaningful content for the game. Because, after all, why work on game content that won't make you any money when you could make tens of thousands designing Slutty Alien Dickgirl #4530?


 No.322825

>>322821

Yeah well, I like dick-wielding waifus, my problem isn't that they exist, it's that the rest of the game isn't fucking finished. Just contract out someone to write them ala the Frostwyrm, just have your main writing staff working on the fundamentals, not fucking off to do whatever while bathing in free money from retards with to much expendable income.


 No.322836

>>322790

>This doesn't work, but you could add a "your fingers."

Does it not? Your fingers are still "you", or at least a part of it, so it can be "you" who runs upwards again. I'm pretty sure I've seen that often enough, mostly referring to hands, fingers, toes, and eyes.

>The second comma is a bit questionable, but the last one is pretty icky.

Really? It looks terrible to me without, though. Isn't that a list anyway? You ease -downwards -over her midriff -towards her nethers.

>Why the double "you,"

I somehow thought it flowed better with two of them. Not entirely sure if it really does, though. Does it not?

>and why make "voraciously" a parenthetical?

For emphasis.

>Why not?

Hyperbole.

>"All the while" is an adverbial construction, so this reads as two clauses just stuck together with nothing, not even a comma, joining them.

So a comma would make it fine?

>Jeez why squelching who would ever use that word to describe something entering a bodily orifice I mean come on.

Don't you try to be a cheeky little cunt, here. I don't know what kind of festering infections you have in your arsehole to lubricate it enough to "squelch", but you should probably go see a doctor.

>I thought we'd gotten this one out of you. "Intent on making."

"Intend to (verb)" is a thing; the mistake here was another. "You never let up […], intend to […], quenching […]." You mentioned before you don't like me doing those, but fuck me if I ever remember what it's called again.

>I'd recommend adding an "and" after "beating."

Eh.

>I expect a little something in return, capiche?

Not with that tone, young man. I'll get to it soonish, I just hoped I could finish Marielle before I get distracted elsewhere, but seeing as I'm stuck, I might as well.


 No.322865

Reminder that this is still a nobully thread!

you can go back to bullying next thread.


 No.322868

File: 5246b7e8393c292⋯.png (370.68 KB, 500x494, 250:247, IMG_20190306_113810.png)

>>322865

Now it is a bully thread.


 No.322893

File: 953a941ef734844⋯.png (204.29 KB, 463x469, 463:469, You should't bully.png)

>>322868

plz no


 No.322927

>>322836

>Isn't that a list anyway? You ease -downwards -over her midriff -towards her nethers.

Well they're different parts of speech (and as we discussed, that's not great with lists, although these all do the same thing, so it's not wrong in this case), and it doesn't really make sense as a list. "Downwards" is your general direction, and the second two are both downward motion, so it would make more sense for them to be separate. As further evidence, with just one body part mentioned, you wouldn't use an "and" at all ("run downwards over her stomach").

>Not entirely sure if it really does, though. Does it not?

No. This is a case where the second one is entirely redundant.

>For emphasis.

That doesn't do that here.

>Hyperbole.

It's a dumb hyperbole, as you're not exaggerating a quality you do have, you're creating a new one that makes no sense.

>So a comma would make it fine?

A comma would make it a really bad comma splice. "All the while" doesn't even really fit the sentence, as you're not detailing a process with "she arches her back."

>"You never let up […], intend to […], quenching […]."

I was confused by what you meant, but then it dawned on me. Are you saying that you tried to make a list of "let up," "hold," "intend," and "quenching," the only conjunction being between the first two verbs? Bullying is so natural, but I have to abstain. Anyway, the "and" between the first two verbs makes them parse as their own complete list, which made me assume this was the intent/intend error, but, ignoring for a moment the fact that "intend" as a verb would be pretty awkward in this hypothetical list, there's actually a far more insidious error here. You're trying to put "quenching" in a list of verbs, but it's a participle. This means you're trying to write "you […] quenching" (which is acceptable only if you're switching to the habitual aspect in African American English), but I honestly think that that was not your intention while writing and may just be you rereading it poorly. The sentence is a bit of a mess, so I don't blame you.

>Eh.

Reading it again, you're fine to keep it. "But" doesn't work with the first two clauses, but I think that doing that is more common than I was thinking at the time.

>I just hoped I could finish Marielle before I get distracted elsewhere

If that's your goal, by all means. Given that you've completed 1.9 of the 4 non-sex options in her sex menu, how much longer do you expect it'll take? I'm wondering if she's something that should be worked on before the earlygame rework or after.


 No.322940

Updated woodsman event. https://pastebin.com/4bzst7ay Now just the sex scenes remain, the least interesting part.

As for fucking shark daughters.. I just don't feel up to it. It was 6 or so hours after I opened requests and perhaps for that reason I should invalidate it, but really I just don't feel well.

Now, for a future project I'm outlining,

Suggest spells themed around ice and weakness

Mechanics attached to this: Strength and toughness decrease the power of these spells, making the ideal statline 0 for both of those. Icy Flesh is a battlemage-able spell that increases HP and damage resist, compensating a little for having 0 tough. I'm thinking with all spellpower perks, it's the same as having max toughness. Add on top of that spellpower from items and it's a little better, but still much weaker than Might with the same conditions(but being able ot max tough on top of it).

Some sort of heal spell that drains your toughness to regain HP, and won't work with 0 tgh. Want healing? Your spells overall will be a little weaker. Weigh the pros and cons. (unnamed spell, throw out suggestions)

Obviously good damage spells are needed, but the specifics are up in the air.

At the moment in the outline, this will be gained from a glacial rift storyline. Those that have been asking for angels will be hyped about one of the characters in the rift outline…

>>322757

tbh I don't know either. Got the fuckn shakes, yo. Started sunday, felt better monday but still sucked, then it's just worse since. My friend who I think I got it from was sick for over a week. Actual physical anger at needing to take a day off work for this. When I started getting the shakes last night, though, I knew I was gonna have to.


 No.322942

>>322940

So the ice magic works best when you are weak as fuck, and there will be spells that require to suck your strength for them to work. There will be scaling depending on the amount of physique drained?


 No.322944

>>322942

I think only healing will require draining your toughness. The rest just scales inversely with str/tgh, and only storyline stuff would drain strength. No plan for a spell to do that.

Drain spells would be more about draining the opponent.

Think of it sort of like frost with a small splash of unholy/necro (but no summoning the dead)


 No.322949

>>322940

>At the moment in the outline, this will be gained from a glacial rift storyline. Those that have been asking for angels will be hyped about one of the characters in the rift outline…

So let me guess, either an angel of an angel-like Valkyrie will teach you ice magic?

But why though?

There's Nieve who desperately needs the Fera treatment to make her more than just a holiday event already, why put ice magic on what is presumably a Valkyrie instead of the actual ice spirit?

I'm sure I remember talks about being able to recruit her with the snowman stuff at any time with some item from the glacial rift from many threads ago and having her be an actual teacher to you in ice magic, I find that a lot more interesting than human's with wings that are proudly and widely known for their physical prowess and not magic, especially with all the magic Nieve would know and can interact with your camp, yourself, and followers.

I could accept it if there was a super pure Valkyrie that knows some ice magic and can teach you a trick or two, but I really think you need to let Nieve fill her natural role of an ice magic tutor.


 No.322950

>>322940

>As for fucking shark daughters.. I just don't feel up to it.

My soul weeps.


 No.322951

>>322940

I dont see a single mention of Nieve with your ice spell stuff and it is making me very anxious


 No.322952

>>322951

Limiting a school of magic to, what, two or three months of the year is a bit wank innit.


 No.322953

File: eb4083fc3da5b37⋯.png (666.49 KB, 960x600, 8:5, 1537594453102.png)

>>322940

>TFW like to do dragoon stuff and jump around stabbing things with a spear

>But also love ice magic

>The mechanics of ice magic are cool (heh) but make it so jumping around with a spear is unviable

What a lovely internal conflict


 No.322954

>>322949

>QT angel grill about to be conceptualized

>This post

Don't ruin this for me man please


 No.322955

>>322952

Multiple times in threads before this too have mentions of making Nieve permanent

Hell there is a pastebin on the chronicles right now that says that to prep her for proper expansion to make her more than just a holiday themed thing just like Fera had by the exact same author were talking to

And double hell >>322949 remembers the same thing

>>322954

Angels are the stupidest thing in a COC setting and you know it

If its not a valkyrie its practically garbage


 No.322956

>>322949

You make a good point that I hadn't considered, but I don't like Nieve. Also, it's not a valkyrie. What it is won't get on well with Shouldra.

>>322951

Nieve's personality doesn't suit the storyline or types of spells. The only overlap is ice, which is only one part of the magic system.

The frost part is thematically nice, but not essential to fit the context you get it. If people want frost as a whole be reserved for nieve, I'm open to replacing frost with something else, as the power derived from weakness is the only truly crucial element. Alternatively, whoever works on Nieve can simply make a second frost magic school that is unrelated to synergizing with weakness.

Kind of like how Terrestrial Fire and White Magic both use fire, but thematically differ in how both work and how they appear.

>>322954

she'll only be QT if you help her.

>>322955

>Angels are the stupidest thing in a CoC setting

nah, man, trust me. I thought of a way to make a truly CoC angel.


 No.322957

>>322955

Fair enough. Alas, I don't live in these threads


 No.322962

>>322956

What would be the point of making another frost magic that doesn't have a mechanic?


 No.322965

>>322944

>No plan for a spell to do that.

I think if you want players to run around with zero physical stats, you need an easy way (probably not a spell, as that removes most of the risk, but some way) to drop them. Currently I'm not sure how to lower your stats even if you did want to, and I imagine it's terribly grindy for those that do know.


 No.322969

>>322962

As seen with Black&White and Terrestrial Fire, weakness is not the only mechanic you couldpossibly make. I don't think weakness is even a go-to for frost mechanics. Closest I can think of is mixing frost with necromancy, which this really isn't though it's sorta close.

And even then, necromancy nor weakness thematically match Nieve at all. As far as mechanics go, this takes nothign Nieve could have used. It's just the element of frost, which is negotiable. Especially in the outlining phase

>>322965

The storyline drains those stats by 10 each day, as well as nullifying HP loss from starvation. The cause of the stat loss can be removed, but the stats would remain low and need to be built back up, but that only happens if you actually tried to pursue this magic. People not interested in weakness-based magic won't lose much if anything.


 No.322972

>>322965

There is a way to quickly drain your physical stats Drink a liddelium


 No.322974

>>322969

>Black&White division

Huh i feel like a dum dum now


 No.322976

>>322972

We need a version that applies something similar to bimbo body… And a trap version of both. Just putting that out there.


 No.322989

>>322940

>Suggest spells themed around ice and weakness

Do you have a combat style in mind to go with the theme? How would someone win fights with this type of magic? That should probably be decided on before the specific spells.

>Weaken and debuff the enemy as you slowly drain the life out of them

>Sap the enemy's strength in order to survive long enough to pull off your big damage spells, which take some time or have some requirements

>Damage spells scale with certain status effects so your goal is to build up combos with a powerful finisher

>The status effects themselves empower each other, basically like the previous idea but with no finisher, just steadily ramping up

>Counter-based style, spells or status effects counter specific enemy actions in various ways, so you tailor your casting to the enemy's fighting style or anticipate their moves in order to have them defeat themselves

Some ideas if you don't have anything concrete in mind.


 No.322994

>>322989

> How would someone win fights with this type of magic?

This is a pretty early phase, so I'm malleable about it. That's code for "I don't really know"

All I have so far is the basic idea of frost and weakening. Definitely not the second suggestion.

Maybe something like direct damage scale up with afflicted status effects.

Also passive ability to switch from fatigue to HP as a resource when fatigue is too full. "Algor Mortis"


 No.322996

>>322940

What about swapping your HP % with opponent?


 No.322998

>>322927

>That doesn't do that here.

Why not? Can that only be done at the start of a sentence? "Voraciously, you […]" I know that example isn't emphasis per se, as the comma is mandatory, but how else would you emphasise an adverb, if not with commas or em dashes?

>how much longer do you expect it'll take?

I honestly don't know, I've long given up on estimates. Anywhere between three days and three months, likely closer to the latter. I'll see how fast I can finish the lewd menu, but after that, there's some rewriting to be done, as well as a final few pass-throughs. And that moth-silk scene.


 No.323001

>>322940

>Suggest spells themed around ice and weakness

Lower both yours and opponent HP/toughness

Weaken their attack

Silence them

Tank the speed

Stacking effect simulating cold with spell that knocks them out if there's enough stacks


 No.323021

Frost and weakness? So we're talking more the traditional lich domains? While I'm all for undeath and immortality, I'm not sure….

Then again, it does give high corruption players something to strive for.


 No.323043

File: 3f5982289a8dc1a⋯.jpg (78.81 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, Crying akko.jpg)

>>322518

>>322474

>helspawn footjob

thank you warrior


 No.323045

>>322927

Well here you go.

>and folder her

folds

>she becomes suddenly flustered

But she already is flustered. I'd do something with losing that previous composure perhaps.

>I'm no so sure

not

>as you make your downwards

Missing something like a "way".

>interfere with yours preventing you

Comma after "yours".

>She still clings to her dress,

The "still" is kinda odd, as the mention of her preventing you just was the sentence before the previous, and there has been no other action between. No need for a refresher.

>Your mouth hovers right over her waiting lips,

I guess it's implied, but how long was her dress again? You'd need to slide it up before, but there's no mention of that. I'd probably put that up where she's stopping you.

>Without a further thought, you plunge your tongue into her depths.

All right, no licking, no preparation? To each their own, and it does kinda fit the tone of the het defloration, but still.

>And there's nothing else.

This gave me quite a pause. I think you could get away with it if you made that full stop an em dash or semicolon and/or put another "else" after the "nothing" in the next sentence to better work the repetition. I'd definitely do at least the latter.

>Dolores moans and shifts above you

Above? Wasn't she lying down? With you kneeling in front, that's not much of an "above".

>her delectable belly

"Belly" tends to invoke a beer belly in my mind, but maybe that's just me.

>you're surprised to find a spreading dampness

I mean, you were just licking her there. If I licked a window, I wouldn't be surprised if it's wet afterwards. Same for the uncomforted variation; she'd still be wet, even if with only your saliva.

>You press her hand to your waiting sex.

I'd mention you taking her hand as well first, then perhaps a reaction to that. But I guess that's one of the reasons my own sex scenes gravitate towards absurd lengths.

>and this time

Repetition. Intended? If so, I don't think it works too well.

>Her chitiny fingers

Pretty sure that's never been a word. Google Books gives an astonishing two proper hits for that, and all others are names, towns, or in a different language altogether without any relation to chitin. "Chitinous".

>To make up for this,

Forgot to close the conditional before this.

>until with a twin cry,

Doesn't that need a comma before "with"?

>your journey back to camp quite a satisfied one.

The journey is satisfied?

>before suddenly realizing with a blush

RealiSing what?

>You tell your daughter to strip.

For a lack of a better spot to put this: you're never actually describing her stripping.

>somewhat uncomfortable such salacious situations.

Forgot a "with" in there.

>//Someone tell me to change "pussies." Also maybe put a [Next] here.

Consider yourself told. "Folds", "Vulvas", "Nethers"? And I don't think a "Next" is necessary. The whole thing is 1150 words, and that's counting all conditionals.

>to the patch of soft down at her wrist

Someone will stumble here and think "the patch of soft what at her wrist?" Could use something like "floss" instead, that one's used for silkworms. But then, the most common usage of that is in "dental floss", so eh.

>as she shivers in your arms

Mild repetition of "shiver".

>as you schlick her

That's not the sound an sch makes in English, so I much prefer the version without the c here. Or is that a borrowed word? I don't know the etymology.

>The orgasm paragraph.

I really am rubbing off on you. Slowly.

>you're still surprised when she basically collapses into you

How does she manage to collapse if she was hugging you already?

Miscellaneous:

>2(3?) weeks

Two seems a bit soon. Do you plan to expand on that and actually have her do something on repeat offences?

>merely tapping her fingers

"meekly"?

>All I can do is to say

I know it's speech, but the "to" has no place here, does it?


 No.323048

File: 8c1d4c2f0af62f8⋯.jpg (38.63 KB, 374x374, 1:1, tf.jpg)

>>322474

If I type my own SMUT, and you guys like it, would you implement into the mod? Is that how this works? Or is it a just a few known anons that are adding their own smut to the game.


 No.323054

>>322996

I can see it now, engineering yourself to 1% HP before fighting the end-boss of Akbal's Quest and then two-shotting him.

Suffice to say, I'm not confident that can be balanced

>>323001

>Lower both yours and opponent HP/tgh

That could be balanced.

>Silence them

It'd be nice if that could apply to dialog so I could make Zetaz shut up, but that might not be as easy as it sounds. I assume all the magic attacks are properly tagged magic and could be easily disabled with a silence, but I'm not certain. Is it good enough to be a spell, though?

>Tank the speed

Always grand. Like Illusion but better. I wonder how hard that would be to balance. Not too hard? I do like it, it makes sense.

>>323021

Close. About as close to undeath as you can get without dying the angel helps with that. Corruption-wise, I have in the outline that it raises it steadily until 50

>>323048

You write it, people like it, you get feedback, fix a few little mistakes, it goes in.

No notoriety is required, and all the "known" writers started as random anons with nothing previous to show for themselves.


 No.323061

>>322927

>>323045

>as you schlick her

This made me go back and reread it, and I notice there's no silly mode condition here. Just like fap, schlick is an inherently and intentionally comical word, it doesn't really fit the tone.


 No.323084

"You schlick her cunny and molest her clitty. 'That's nice' she remarks."


 No.323095

>>323045

>But she already is flustered. I'd do something with losing that previous composure perhaps.

That's what getting flustered is, losing your composure.

>All right, no licking, no preparation? To each their own, and it does kinda fit the tone of the het defloration, but still.

The thought was that you'd been holding back, and it is kinda meant to be a sudden, impactful moment.

>I think you could get away with it if you made that full stop an em dash or semicolon

I don't really see the benefit in that. It's meant to stand alone. You seem to think that this "nothing else" needs to link up with something, but it's just doing its own thing. It's a bit floaty, but it's doing what it's meant to.

>put another "else" after the "nothing" in the next sentence to better work the repetition. I'd definitely do at least the latter.

That would sound awful. The "nothing" is more than enough, an "else" would make it an issue.

>Above? Wasn't she lying down? With you kneeling in front, that's not much of an "above".

I was imagining her sitting up, but it looks like that didn't happen, so I added it in.

>"Belly" tends to invoke a beer belly in my mind, but maybe that's just me.

I suppose it might have that effect for some, but it feels fine to me here.

>I'd mention you taking her hand as well first

Nah.

>Doesn't that need a comma before "with"?

No, why would it?

>The journey is satisfied?

When you put it like that, it sounds a little bit strange, but my construction feels fine to me for some reason. I'll change it to be safe.

>RealiSing what?

Well first of all, don't start, you're wrong, but secondly, there are other "ize"s here, why single out this poor little guy.

>For a lack of a better spot to put this: you're never actually describing her stripping.

I swear I wrote that, wonder where it went.

>Consider yourself told. "Folds", "Vulvas", "Nethers"?

"Folds" doesn't quite make sense, and "vulvas" is too clinical, but "nethers" is good, thanks. Not alliterative, though.

>And I don't think a "Next" is necessary. The whole thing is 1150 words, and that's counting all conditionals.

That's a lot of text for one unbroken chunk. I've seen it said a lot, and I tend to feel similarly—anything over a page of text can quickly start to become a drag.

>Someone will stumble here and think "the patch of soft what at her wrist?"

Eh, I don't think that'll really happen too much, and if it does, they deserve it.

>Could use something like "floss" instead

God no, what?

>That's not the sound an sch makes in English

What do you mean? Those letters don't have one particular sound they correspond to. "Eschew" vs. "school." There are many cases of words that use "sch" for "sh."

>I really am rubbing off on you. Slowly.

I was already beginning to do those before I read your work, but it's becoming more of a problem as every orgasm starts to feel the same to me. I can't deny that you give me the confidence to be a bit purpler, as I'm comforted in knowing there's always someone worse right nearby.

>How does she manage to collapse if she was hugging you already?

By collapsing? She's no longer supporting herself. "Collapse" doesn't mean you have to hit the ground or anything.

>"meekly"?

No, why?

>I know it's speech, but the "to" has no place here, does it?

You can use the full infinitive in places like that.

Appreciate the help. Still have no clue why typos and such are invisible to me.

>>323061

Changed, thanks


 No.323102

>>323095

>Eh, I don't think that'll really happen too much, and if it does, they deserve it.

I was too lazy to point this out when you first posted it. To me it really looks like there ought to be a missing fuzz or fur or something. I would never have parsed down as a noun here, as that's a bird thing to me.


 No.323112

>>322940

I am not good at this

>Ice spear:upon hit causes the cold to spread to the target causing either DoT or a debuff due to surrounding area of impact getting slowly and painfully getting frozen

>Freeze:Decreases speed and Increases crit chance against target very low chance of stun

>Ice needles:Lower damage than Ice spear but harder to avoid and harsher debuffs

>Blizzard: Field effect that makes other spells of the school a bit more effective it also might apply debuffs


 No.323115

>>323095

>That's what getting flustered is, losing your composure.

But "fluster" is a mental state. She's already been in that state since the previous paragraph, but fighting it. It's not synonymous with "start", "flinch", or "recoil".

>I don't really see the benefit in that. It's meant to stand alone.

Then I in turn don't see its purpose. "Nothing else"—what was there supposed to be? What does it mean, what does it try to convey, what does it even do? It's a complete non-sequitur if you don't do anything with it. I don't know what you're trying to do, here. If you don't link it, then it also creates a problem thanks to the preceding sentence: "[…] you can finally start. And then there's nothing else" reads like you're either not acting at all, or there's nothing else that Dolores does, though she wasn't doing anything in the first place.

>an "else" would make it an issue.

Why? The "else" does nothing to change the meaning, but it does at least confirm that you're playing with a repetition, which would make the previous sentence so much less confusing. Or is that not what you were going for?

>No, why would it?

Isn't "with a twin cry" parenthetical? If not, how does it work grammatically without being that?

>my construction feels fine to me for some reason

Strange indeed; you've been the one bothering me for doing things like that in the past. I'd be deeply insulted if you didn't change it.

>That's a lot of text for one unbroken chunk

It's less than a thousand words for any one character in-game, that's pretty tame. Plenty of scenes do easily match or surpass that, especially when looking at non-hostile NPCs. And personally, I'm more irritated by pointless [Next] buttons, I find them much more annoying to click than to simply scroll down a little. I also prefer to have my sex scenes in one nice chunk instead of them being butchered and sacrificed to the false gods of brevity and low attention spans.

>God no, what?

Floss, noun: "soft thread of silk or mercerized cotton for embroidery" or "fluffy fibrous material" or "The rough silk enveloping a silkworm's cocoon"

>"Eschew" vs. "school." There are many cases of words that use "sch" for "sh."

Is that a redneck thing to pronounce the sch in "eschew" like an sh? It definitely doesn't sound like that over here. It's "es-skew" or at best "es-chew". There are plenty of words borrowed from Yiddish, old French, and German that have that sh sound, but I can't think of a proper English one. So a chiefly English slang word using sch in that way makes no sense. Do enlighten me, though.

>"Collapse" doesn't mean you have to hit the ground or anything

Sure, but since she was already sitting and pulling you tight to her and vice-versa, there can't be much of a movement, downwards or otherwise. She could "sag" at most, or "slacken" or whatever, but "collapse" is too strong of a word.

>No, why?

"Merely" seemed weird to me. Not entirely sure why, but I automatically read it as "meekly", since it lines up with the earlier "ashamed of herself" and the "merely" doesn't really add much to the sentence.

>no clue why typos and such are invisible to me

You're the author, you know what you meant to write, so your brain glosses over and unconsciously corrects a lot of your own mistakes.


 No.323126

Does anybody have a link to Helboi's barebones outline for the Helia cuck route where she gives birth to a minotaur son and has him live in camp with you? I was wondering if it still existed in some dusty abandoned archive somewhere, wrapped in chains and double-locked lest the horrible spectre of NTR rear its faggy head again.


 No.323128

>>323126

Hopefully not.


 No.323129

>>323128

I'm surprised the entire series of encounters hasn't been removed from the game given the amount of effort that goes into making people forget it's there. No other piece of content, however badly-written (and it's down there, don't get me wrong) is looked upon by the community with such sweeping disdain. An entire route that's never mentioned in any 'What's different in this mod?' lists or even the semi-official changes log itself - it's practically a secret route by this point. Incomplete to boot, with a deeply unfinished conclusion that will likely never be written, let alone implemeted, due to the immense shitstorm the original caused, the effects of which we still have to deal with from time to time, years later. It's interesting to say the least.


 No.323136

>>323129

You summed it the fuck up. It has so much less right to be in the game than even Joy but none of the coders have even given a response to the idea of removing it (or disabling it for now and putting it on the bounty board) in the same way.

And before this turns into a cuckoldry versus anticuck debate, it's not about the fetish, it's about the (poor) quality of the content, and the fact that it will almost DEFINITELY never be finished.


 No.323138

Sounds like it's time to get the flammenwerfer.


 No.323139

>>323136

Joke's on you janny, I'm the Helbaneposter, bet you didn't expect rationality from me eh?


 No.323141

May somebody tell me how to trigger shark-daughters experimenting with each other?

I have "underage: on" and there is no scene where player and Izma watch their daughters do things on each other (and I remember that scene in the past)


 No.323142

>>323128

>>323126

>>323129

>>323136

>>323139

Found it!

https://pastebin.com/iF0Dgsk6

It's nothing vaguely salvagable, as expected, but I wanted to confirm to myself that it actually existed once upon a time before being thrown down a memory hole.

For any aspiring contributors reading this, the above is a good example of how not to write!


 No.323151

>ng+7

Just a few more runs and I should have permed everything and I can finally set up a more permanent save with all followers.


 No.323152

File: cb5db7eb20c8532⋯.gif (1.47 MB, 376x376, 1:1, 68031154.gif)

>>323136

Joy and pure jojo sex got tossed at the time that I was reading Jojo's .as file to compile a character article for the lore bible. I chose him because I wanted to make a mouse codex and because Jojo, pure specifically, is one of my favorite characters. A lot of errors got spotted and corrected throughout this process.

I pointed to the lines in the code or the function name of the scene and picked apart examples of inconsistency or really god-awful writing like Jojo slides his cock right in your ass. "That's nice" Jojo says. or When Jojo cummed, the force of his ejaculation pierces your womb

Or the beginning of it all,

outputText("\n\n\"<i>Well… young one, you're right. You did spend time together with me. We've meditated, I've taught you some important lessons and now we're here,</i>\" Jojo says hesitantly but he starts to smile, \"<i>Let's have sex; I want to experience.</i>\"");

outputText("\n\nYou smile back at Jojo, knowing that you can have sex with him.");

"Let's have sex," he says. You smile, knowing you can have sex with him. It's really quite a trainwreck.

outputText("He cannot keep his vows forever. After all, he's missing out on the pleasure! He probably never knew how he would feel if he has a perfect cock that fits perfectly in his butthole or his cock that fits perfectly in a vagina or an anus.

Kitteh makes a good point, he probably never knew how he would feel if he has a perfect cock that fits perfectly in his butthole.

I'll not get too distracted pulling quotes, tempting though it is. Justifying removal of Helia content would mean pulling the lines and functions needed to show the coders "Yeah, this is god-awful."

Want to get rid of it? That's what we'll do. You can even download Helia's .as file for easier reading, like I did with Joj, Amily, and Rathazul. Here's a link: https://gitgud.io/BelshazzarII/CoCAnon_mod/blob/master/classes/classes/Scenes/NPCs/HelScene.as

If you go one level up, you can find HelFollower and Hel. Just "Hel" is combat, I think, and I don't know the difference between Follower and Scene since none of the characters I read up on had that distinction.

>soaked box

>throwing her head back as her eyes roll back.

It's high tier by revamp standards, low tier by vanilla, and just bad.

Come on, guys. Start pulling snippets of text straight from it and show the coders why specifically this needs to be purged. Please don't leave me to do it alone. I don't want to read this. Besides, I have work today. Let me come home to dozens of hilariously bad quotes from the scenes.

As far as I can tell, it's much better than the Lizan Rogue. It has that going for it.

That really doesn't mean anything. As I read, I think we should remove this. This is bad for my health. Good luck anyone that wants to pull up examples.


 No.323154

File: a2d0253b9284645⋯.jpg (59.02 KB, 658x666, 329:333, 1447230265662.jpg)

>>323152

>Jojo slides his cock right in your ass. "That's nice" Jojo says.


 No.323157

>>323152

>After a few seconds, she finally detaches from the cock with a loud "pop"

Ah yes just like uncorking champagne bottle


 No.323158

>>323141

All it requires is 2+ sharkgirls (not tigersharks).


 No.323162

>>323158

…so there's not tigershark-on-sharkgirl action?

It's only between tigersharks and sharkgirls?


 No.323175

>>322956

>The frost part is thematically nice, but not essential to fit the context you get it. If people want frost as a whole be reserved for nieve, I'm open to replacing frost with something else, as the power derived from weakness is the only truly crucial element. Alternatively, whoever works on Nieve can simply make a second frost magic school that is unrelated to synergizing with weakness.

The best thing to do would be to at least try and keep the most interesting ice related things open for Nieve if it's not even that important thematically for your new spells. She seems to be on the same level of interest as Fera, which as been previously mentioned several times got her overdue content. If you're actually only still in the planning phase, at least consider leaving actual ice/snow/frost for Nieve if it's the focus of what you have so far.

>but I don't like Nieve

This hurts on a physical level, don't bully my lovely snow spirit girlfriend.


 No.323191

>>323102

Alright, made it "fluff."

>>323115

>She's already been in that state since the previous paragraph, but fighting it.

If she's keeping her composure, she's not flustered. I can kind of see where you're coming from, but I'm 90% sure it works. You can be mildly embarrassed without being flustered, which is what the mention of composure conveys.

>What does it mean, what does it try to convey, what does it even do?

The experience is really nice, and there's nothing else you care about/sense/can compare it to/etc.. As I said, it's a bit floaty, but I feel like I've seen its ilk around enough that it shouldn't be too much of a roadbump, and no one else mentioned it (although I'm learning that that might not be the best metric).

>Why? The "else" does nothing to change the meaning, but it does at least confirm that you're playing with a repetition,

It's not "playing with a repetition," it would be straight up repetitive. If I saw that in someone's writing, I'd tell them to change it in a heartbeat.

>Isn't "with a twin cry" parenthetical?

No.

>If not, how does it work grammatically without being that?

By not being parenthetical? It's just a prepositional phrase, what's the problem here?

>I also prefer to have my sex scenes in one nice chunk instead of them being butchered and sacrificed to the false gods of brevity and low attention spans.

Brevity is, if I'm getting this right, the spirit of cleverness, and you would do well to employ it a bit more. I'm not saying to abandon your ways, but you'd be surprised at how much of an effect it has when you're constantly long-winded. As the author, you automatically care about what you're writing, but the reader's attention has to be earned.

>Floss, noun:

Yeah, I got it the first time, I wasn't asking for proof. It's still awful.

>but I can't think of a proper English one

There's no such thing as a "proper English word," you [nobully]. I bet you have a poster of Orwell you jerk it to while flipping through an Anglish dictionary.

>Sure, but since she was already sitting and pulling you tight to her and vice-versa, there can't be much of a movement, downwards or otherwise.

I guess, but I like the evocativeness of "collapse." The others you're suggesting don't really convey that immediate, complete loss of support, and "collapse" doesn't really need a crazy amount of movement. I don't know how you're imagining this, but it my mind, she was still holding her torso upright until this.

>the "merely" doesn't really add much to the sentence.

It adds the fact that she's not doing anything else (i.e., talking), what do you mean?

>>323142

If you're talking about the "watch" button, it's a random chance from a bunch of options, so it's not like you'll get it every time. If you're not, what are you even doing?


 No.323224

So how much is the factory going to get changed with the rework? Cus the pastebin doesn't mention much and I've recently come to the conclusion that, as a piece of content, the factory is really boring.A gaggle of normal demon randos running a factory for the sole sake of dumping into the lake just seems boring and tame. Why not have them be actually up to some shit and the dumping be a side-effect? Maybe stuff the dungeon with some experiments or have a boss or two who is enhanced because of the shittons of corruption going on in the place.


 No.323233

>>323224

>Why not have them be actually up to some shit and the dumping be a side-effect?

But the dumping is their goal, dealing with Marae is the one and only major thing they have left to do other than escape.


 No.323239

Now that are we talking about the factory why does the sensible choice of fucking it up at the cost of immediatly dumping it's payload cause marae to IMMEDIATLY become corrupted?


 No.323242

>>323239

Because she's hanging just at the edge of sanity by the time you arrive and a light shove is all that's needed to send her over the edge.


 No.323243

>>323242

Then why the demons don't just do that themselves?


 No.323244

>>323243

Because they can't. Play the game before posting here, please.


 No.323246

>>323244

They can't cause the factory to do the thing that causes her to lose it? Why?


 No.323247

>>323243

>>323246

They are, that's what the factory's doing. Damaging the equipment on an uneducated guess it's just enough to finisht eh job now is pretty braindead. They aren't exactly rocket scientists, but they know they'll overwhelm her eventually at the pace they're going. They gain very little from doing it any faster, as the primary objective of just suppressing her is pretty much enough for all that matters.

They don't know how close she is. Maybe she's just strong enough to weather the storm when the flood happens. Great, every demon there is getting brutally executed for damaging a bunch of shit. They'll quickly make repairs and set up to continue suppressing her.

Let's say the wild guess worked though, as we know it would. What did they gain? Factory damages. Has the situation with Marae changed? Not really, no, she's still suppressed, just now they won't have to keep a factory running for it. Is that really a big deal? It's a gamble for so little payoff Like they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Except in this case it's more of don't-break-it.


 No.323248

>>323247

Makes sense to me


 No.323252

File: 6bc1e0332ed87a1⋯.jpg (68.8 KB, 680x680, 1:1, No_Way_Monsterlord.jpg)

>>322740

>Pregnant

Unless that Cacodemon is an allied marine deep undercover, then you are full of shit.


 No.323256

>>323246

>>323247

This is the obvious answer, but there could be an additional aspect to it. There's nothing in the game to suggest it, but it's possible they don't want her to become a demon. If she does, she could be a threat to them, and one they can't contain with corruption. It may be that she only goes full demon because of the sudden surge, and it wouldn't have ever happened if the factory output remained steady. She might have just gone non-demon insane or flat-out died if you didn't get involved.


 No.323258

>>323256

>Marae becomes demon

>Eats own lethcitite

>oh fuck.jpg


 No.323280

>>323256

>She might have just gone non-demon insane or flat-out died if you didn't get involved.

<"My reach has dwindled to little more than this lake. Parts of me have already fallen, taking the surrounding life with them. I do not know how much longer I can endure…"

That sounds about right actually. It could be that constantly fighting against the sustained source of corruption simply weakens her until she falls over dead from exhaustion, and the sudden surge from the factory being destroyed simply overpowered her efforts to hold it off.


 No.323282

>>323252

>marine

You say that like the Doom Slayer is even a marine.


 No.323283

>>323280

Honestly, a scenario where Marae is dead and the world has to fend for itself is a MUCH more interesting scenario than some dumb corrupt version of Marae that breaks a lot of lore in the process by virtue of existing if you stop to think for a minute what kind of fallout it would have.

A corrupted marae is a much bigger threat than the demons, but would be a threat to EVERYONE including those very same demons.

Corrupted Marae is retarded, the factory should kill her, not corrupt. You can easily have it that the reason the demons didn't outright kill her when they could with the factory is that they might still have wanted to experiment with her when the time is right, or even question her about things. Imagine all the things someone as old and powerful as her knows.


 No.323287

File: d504288650d67b5⋯.jpg (9.87 KB, 199x257, 199:257, 1520270395293.jpg)

>>323283

>A scenario where you have a potential second faction fucking shit up is more interesting


 No.323291

Speaking of other factions, what kinds of content would you like to see in the mad scientist lair of that shark scientist the griping demons in the Bizarre bazaar talk about? Obviously the final battle will take place on a rickety catwalk over a subjugation tank or whatever the hell it was they called it.

QT Lab rats to rescue? Dorky goblin interns hiding behind clipboards? New transformatives to give you big PP?


 No.323293

>>323287

I'll just go ahead and assume you forgot your "isn't" there, otherwise you're agreeing with me.

1. It's not a faction, it would just be corrupted Marae against everything else

2. It would trivialize the demons and every other threat possible in scale, watering the scop and scale of the game down in the process of having just one big-bad.

3. It wouldn't make sense for the demons to create a factory if it would just corrupt her, it solves none of the problems they've had with Marae and really would only give her the upper hand as she no longer can be contained and occupied with corruption.


 No.323295

>>323293

But you don't have to have corrupt Marae be some immediate, tangible threat that overshadows the demons. You can have her be a looming/nebulous threat that you might not care about/even realize is a huge problem during the main quest.


 No.323297

>>323293

>2. It would trivialize the demons and every other threat possible in scale, watering the scop and scale of the game down in the process of having just one big-bad.

That sounds like a problem for the sequel, not something of direct impact to the current plot.

>3. It wouldn't make sense for the demons to create a factory if it would just corrupt her, it solves none of the problems they've had with Marae and really would only give her the upper hand as she no longer can be contained and occupied with corruption.

After she's corrupted she would have less reason to try and stop the demons. They're her biggest concern in the world before she's corrupted, after she's corrupted they don't particularly matter to her at all. It makes sense to take a lesser threat that's focused exclusively on you and turn it into a bigger threat that doesn't care about you at all.


 No.323298

>>323295

That really isn't what this game's fucked up undeveloped story needs. The underlying game is about making connections, allies, and coming from absolute dirt destined to fail and only stand a fighting chance by evading Zetaz by pure, dumb luck. To actually set the game up with a doomed destiny is just counter productive when the whole game already is about it all being at least slightly salvageable.

Even if it's by choice, even if you knowingly corrupt her fully, it shouldn't be the case that one such choice is essentially a dead end story wise. It sets the tone and rules of how everything will end without question, it will always result in Marae eventually wiping everything out. Locking the eventual game's end to a choice so early on just isn't smart, and the whole "we're doomed" atmosphere can just as well be telegraphed via the one last pure bastion of hope breathing her last breath.


 No.323299

>>323297

>After she's corrupted she would have less reason to try and stop the demons. They're her biggest concern in the world before she's corrupted, after she's corrupted they don't particularly matter to her at all. It makes sense to take a lesser threat that's focused exclusively on you and turn it into a bigger threat that doesn't care about you at all.

>implying corrupted Marae wouldn't fully give into the lust and subjugate everything on Mareth into sex with her all at once via the trees, plants and grass


 No.323300

>>323299

>>implying corrupted Marae wouldn't fully give into the lust and subjugate everything on Mareth into sex with her all at once via the trees, plants and grass

>implying the demons are going to stick around long enough to care


 No.323301

>>323298

>it will always result in Marae eventually wiping everything out

Will it? Gods have been killed before, being a demon god just means you can't take the easy path of crippling her with corruption. And even with Revamp's level of care and foresight, they made corrupt Marae far weaker than pure Marae, so you aren't necessarily dealing with a "leader of the pantheon"-level threat.


 No.323303

>>323301

Sure, she would still be able to die, but one thing people neglect is that she will due to no longer being contained by the corruption be able to freely move again. And I think it is very heavily underestimated how powerful and hard to kill makes her. She can once again start to route herself through Mareth due to corruption not hampering her anymore, will be able to be anywhere she wants, and grow her roots like malignant tumors to boot.


 No.323305

File: 8e6335af9117f7e⋯.jpg (38.58 KB, 524x393, 4:3, 9926743dcfe8e27698271695c6….jpg)

>>323303

CoC sequel where the furries join hands with the demons to fight the evil godtree and her forest of children spreading across the world when?


 No.323308

>>323305

Go back to writing for Circe or the dullahan OCA


 No.323314

>>323303

>And I think it is very heavily underestimated how powerful and hard to kill makes her

Thinking about this, doesn't this make her literally unbeatable? It's not like she needs a physical path between places- if you planet her seed in the Oasis Tower she can warp straight to the thing despite still being surrounded by corruption. Her connection to plants is spiritual, and without needing to fear someone rubbing their corrupted crotches on her linked plants, there's nothing mitigating her mobility. You damage her enough, she fucks off to some other herbal life halfway across the map. You'd have to eliminate all flora to actually finish the job, dooming the planet in a different way. There's no real victory to be had unless you have some way of binding Corrupt Marae to a general area or remove her being able to warp past all the corruption to the Oasis Tower.


 No.323317

>>323142

>MAR 6TH, 2018

Has it really been a whole fucking year since cocgen got ripped apart?


 No.323319

File: 75dc2de488e8046⋯.jpg (710.87 KB, 1200x1700, 12:17, 70314367_p0.jpg)

>>323175

>keep the most interesting ice related things open for Nieve

Anything that feels like a good concept to interpret into something pretty, I will. The angel's magic is more about the weakening stuff, not sparkly ice crystals.

>don't bully my lovely snow spirit girlfriend

I don't think she even has any character to her. I prefer my snow angel.

>>323291

>content for the labs

Following the head researcher, you enter a chamber focuses on the manipulation of electricity and various testing apparatuses related to it. The researcher is speaking to a demon laying on a table, who calls them Doctor and speaks a little nonsense about lights. The researcher calls him her liege, and before you can take action she uses magic to activate something as she leaves through the doorway at the end opposite you. A giant column of lightning energizes the demon guy, who begins to speak entirely proper old English.

Throughout the fight, he keeps recharging, and whenever the lightning is hitting him, he speaks an indecipherable language backwards English

His name is Shockspear, the product of the demons subjugating a master of lightning magic only to have him fry his brain as he was losing his soul. What's left has loose grip on reality, but still functions as a livewire and has been useful for a good deal of research despite his insanity. His backward English lines when he's consumed with electrical charge are pleas for forgiveness and mercy.

>

Vat of a semi-liquified demon suspended in goo, along with a number of slime cores. Same body-mod obsessed demon fought in earlier dungeon, but gender-swapped. She busts the container after giving a few taunts, and her body takes a rather humanoid look,but much of her blood is now goo instead thanks to dedicated research in the time since last encountering. There are also experimental goo-girls she controls, as the demons sought to find ways to have complete control over such creatures.

She is also built up a little from demon slime adds you fight before entering the room.

>

Both ideas were dreams I had.


 No.323320

>>323317

>cocgen

can I get a quick rundown?


 No.323322

>>323305

Why not Humans+Angels vs Demons+Furries?


 No.323324

>>323322

Then where does Marae come in? Do the humans and angels and demons and furries join hands to defeat her?


 No.323325

>>323319

>The angel's magic is more about the weakening stuff, not sparkly ice crystals.

can we not with actual angels?

this is just so retarded I shouldn't even have to explain why


 No.323327

>>323324

Marae is your ally if you are human/angel, final boss if you are a demon/furry


 No.323332

File: 05d9921d5582eb3⋯.png (170.87 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, Screenshot_2019-03-07-19-2….png)

So the unhindered perk seems broken again. No matter what I have equipped, it does nothing. Naked, clothing, red bodysuit, light armor, etc. Unhindered doesnt apply for any of them.


 No.323335

>>323152

Here's shit I gleaned in my once over-

The bad end isn't even content, it's a half assed fade in and out sequence. Highlights include:

>You put your hand on your abdomen, feeling the flared cock inside you, and smile.

> One cock ravages her, another ravages you. You push your tongue deep inside her, and she does the same to you. She tastes of cum. You love it.

Also the scene with the minotaur sons is broken and has been since inception, stopping at 'why don't you stay', just ending the scene there. So is the scene that's apparently supposed to proc if you beat the minotaurs. Which isn't very good anyway.

The cure:

>Helia pops the cork off the top of the flask and downs the liquid within in a single gulp. It kinda turns you on.

I don't even have a snarky comment for this

>>323319

That sounds… something other than pornographic.


 No.323338

>>323332

>Corruption is high than 0.0%

Disgusting


 No.323339

>>323325

Don't drop it till you read it bro


 No.323340

>>323327

But she made the furries.


 No.323343

File: 2fab9a2055864e6⋯.png (653.92 KB, 700x800, 7:8, 67260942_p3.png)

>>323325

I thought the same before I woke up with a high fever. It all came to me in a flash.

What you need to do is trust in me. I've been writing for the mod for over a year now, so just ask yourself

Would Satan ever lead you astray?

>>323335

>That sounds… something other than pornographic.

The second example is super obvious in porn material. The first is less apparent, and i probably wouldn't give it any sex scenes. I can if I must.

But come on man, a demon that looks like a demon but can become amorphous, and has numerous goo-girls psychically connected to her? You're blind if you don't see the lewdity available there.

And now, for the first of the thread: first request I get, I write

Usual rules apply, and I'll list them for the first of the thread.

- One-off scenes only, it cannot require additional set-up or consequence.

- Allowable content, it must fit the characters or creatures

Most writers I've corralled into this reference these rules too, though they may also have their own additional limits.


 No.323345

>>323343

The PC catching Kid A making out with one of their half-siblings. I'll let you pick the kid.


 No.323346

>>323343

Lingering in the stables with a horse and being walked in on by Whitney.


 No.323348

>>323345

Why are 90% of the requests Kid A and sharkgirls? Not meant as a complaint, I'm just curious if it's all the same person/people or if they really are that popular.


 No.323351

>>323345

REALLY not sure most people would be okay with that unless it was something the player encouraged themselves. Especially since Kid A is a fuckable character. Making fuckable characters automatically engage in stuff with other characters without player say-so is generally frowned on.


 No.323352

>>323345

Does that even fit the character though? As a Kid A fan, it seems like she's pretty solidly only into the player character to me. Feel like that'd be a bit of a stretch for her.


 No.323353

>>323343

Bird loli content please


 No.323355

Honestly everyone

Just because it looks like one and calls itself one doesn't mean it's actual angel, it's easy enough to figure it out by fucking description of the magic she gives you alone


 No.323356

>>323348

I've made a couple of them, sometimes i get lucky to be fast enough to ask, and I just like Kid A.

>>323351

I was under the impression that it was disliked when things happened outside of the PC's camp/harem.

>>323352

There's a similar piece of content of Kid A fighting and fucking one of your tigershark brats that got added awhile back. I never got any impression that they had exclusive thoughts/feelings for the PC or any indication they had any desire to just stick with PC and not interact with the camp as a whole.


 No.323357

>>323355

He used the word angel so obviously it's literally an angel from biblical heaven. Obviously.


 No.323359

>>323356

>There's a similar piece of content of Kid A fighting and fucking one of your tigershark brats that got added awhile back. I never got any impression that they had exclusive thoughts/feelings for the PC or any indication they had any desire to just stick with PC and not interact with the camp as a whole.

Not similar. Kid A in that scene is attacked by a shark girl and moves to retaliate. The player then encourage them to get along or tell Kid A to rape the sharp girl. It is not at all something Kid A does on her own.

>I was under the impression that it was disliked when things happened outside of the PC's camp/harem

General consensus is that it should always be a choice from the player if it happens at all. Kid A's also in a precarious spot because she's also the player character's daughter. And her making out with another of the player's kids would mean either it's with Helspawn (which presents issues with HER character) or it's with one of the younger siblings (which would make Kid A a pedophile, which has some connotations a lot of people wouldn't appreciate).


 No.323361

>>323332

You have 129 speed. If you have the Agility perk, that alone gives too much armour for unhindered.


 No.323362

>>323327

The conversation is about demonic Marae, keep up.


 No.323363

>>323361

So unhindered just has a shit way for checking if the PC isn't hindered by their kit.


 No.323364

>>323363

Correct.


 No.323366

>>323364

How utterly predictable.


 No.323368

>>323345

Doesn't really feel fit to the character. Thankfully.

>>323346

Time to brush up on content I wrote in July. And Whitney dialog too.

Caught in the Stables

https://pastebin.com/gmFtr0HB

>>323348

To be fair, "preteen" lolis like the sharks aren't very common in the game. Makes some sense they'd be a popular pick.

With Kid A, no clue on that one.

>>323355

Does weakening an aggressor to bring them down more gently really not feel angelic? Or, rather, does it so truly feel anti-angelic?


 No.323373

>>323368

I'm pretty sure angels destroyed entire cities and turned people to salt and wielded flaming swords and shit.


 No.323374

>>323368

>With Kid A, no clue on that one.

As the requester of one (two?) of the Kid A additions, for me it's the adorable personality.

It would be better if she was a loli though. What if the water barrel just happens to be where I keep all my lolipops, and then oops, lolinemone? It could happen to anyone.


 No.323376

>You will never get your strength drained to the point that an alice could kick your ass so that the angel can pacify you by whispering sweet nothings and letting you rest on her thigh-pillows while she strokes your hair

why live


 No.323380

>>323376

>thigh-pillows while she strokes your hair

I wish I could believe the angel will be cute and not some monstrosity, but I cannot.


 No.323381

>>323380

>implying you wouldn't want a lap pillow and headpats from a qt plague rat


 No.323383

>>323376

That sounds like peaceful way to die

Reminding of hypothermia even


 No.323384

File: 65ab06ae63f5f8a⋯.png (611.94 KB, 1500x2700, 5:9, cutie.png)

>>323380

Monstrosities are cute, anon, don't you see?


 No.323386

>>323384

>Kneel me before mortal

So it wants to be subjugated before some mortal or what?


 No.323387

File: 85271479f722ce3⋯.png (580.26 KB, 800x900, 8:9, 67260942_p22.png)

>>323376

Thigh pillows shall be included.

>>323380

She is thin, pale, and in poor shape when you meet her, but she grows much more beautiful with every stage of her story if you choose to take her in.

The specifics of her appearance are still up in the air, but conventional beauty does apply.

>>323384

These words are also true though

Not in that specific example, but as a general statement


 No.323388

File: 65884aea17a2914⋯.png (2.9 KB, 300x168, 25:14, serveimage.png)

>>323368

>If she already is one, then.. whoops. I am unaware.

I mean. There's nothing saying she ISN'T. She gotta have those horses for a reason after all.


 No.323392

>>323387

>She is thin, pale, and in poor shape when you meet her, but she grows much more beautiful with every stage of her story if you choose to take her in.

>The specifics of her appearance are still up in the air, but conventional beauty does apply.

Oh, so like wraith Madoka?

Really cute but for some reason other people don't like her and think you are deluded?


 No.323393

>>323191

>As I said, it's a bit floaty, but I feel like I've seen its ilk around enough that it shouldn't be too much of a roadbump

Well, it ripped me personally right out of it. It's too detached, too ambiguous in meaning, and too contradictory to the reader's expectation while lacking any explanation for it. "And then there's nothing else"—you just started eating out your daughter, there should be plenty of things, so why "nothing"? The next sentence then kinda gives you an idea of what you meant, but I completely disagree with you on the repetition thing. Without the "else", it simply falls flat and doesn't flow well at all, but if that's not even what you were going for, then the sentence becomes just a plain old non-sequitur.

>Brevity is, if I'm getting this right, the spirit of cleverness, and you would do well to employ it a bit more.

I know, that will be a focus of my final set of revisions. But for me, a sex scene of a thousand words is reasonably short, and I find most shorter ones in-game to be pretty anticlimactic and unsatisfying. It all depends on taste, as well as context, of course. If you're going for a quickie behind the bush or anally annihilating an imp after winning, then 500 is what can easily get away with, but anything above that, anything more substantial needs more work than a "you fuck, you cum, that was nice, the end."

>but it my mind, she was still holding her torso upright until this.

>the young moth lets out a long, low moan into your shoulder, grabbing onto your sides for stability as she trembles in your arms

>It's all Dolores can do to cling to you as you stroke her senseless

>Feeling yourself grow close, you pull Dolores flat against you

>Your daughter's hard nipples poke against you

>Your arms remain draped around each other as you come down

She has her arms around you, is pressed tight enough for your chests to touch, and her head is somewhere at you shoulder or neck. You are the pillar she's tied to right now, there's nowhere for her to "collapse" towards.

>It adds the fact that she's not doing anything else (i.e., talking), what do you mean?

The "while she thinks of a response" does that as well while not accidentally evoking the image of her being frozen still, making the "merely" rather redundant. I'm not saying to get rid of it, it was just a little bump that made me reread the sentence when I realised I had automatically replaced it with "meekly".


 No.323394

>>323376

>You rest your head on her inner wheel, each flutter of her eyes ticklish across your back.


 No.323395

>>323394

>On her inner wheel

Jesus christ anon that is going too far way to fast! Have you even met her parents?


 No.323397

Reminder that satan's autismos make it so that if he thought this would not fit thr game then he would be the first to dropkick it to death believe in satan


 No.323399

File: 82c0ea36a7e86b0⋯.png (34.99 KB, 315x320, 63:64, VxIx7rt.png)

Is there any save editors that work for 1.4.2?


 No.323403

File: f9675c966fe0e50⋯.png (770.51 KB, 1280x853, 1280:853, 692e8b9f99f11ff7f53f156039….png)

>>323388

I choose to believe she's more aroused by the idea than she would admit, but she genuinely loves animals and doesn't believe it's good for them.

I'll change it if there's an indication otherwise, but that's my point of view at this time.

>>323392

Don't make me look up anime terms.

Most who have actually given her a chance end up forming lasting connections. On top of that, she's the type to prefer not being shared with others, so prime waifu material. Honestly, her biggest vice is that she gets very attached. What can you expect from someone you find all alone in the damn tundra?

The only specific person that dislikes her is Shouldra.

This angel is exactly what I've gathered that people really want. You folk should trust me, I've listened. I continue to listen, so feel free to shoot around her physical traits. I lean on modest bust size, but others may differ. Not particular on hair. I lean toward light skin.

>>323399

CoCEd

No updates are ever needed, really. The warning you get is nothing to worry about.


 No.323406

>>323403

>Not particular on hair.

If we are throwing physical traits around, red hair, green eyes, and freckles have always been a good combo in my books.


 No.323407

>>323406

But that doesn't really seem to fit the theme he's going for. I think either super pale or super dark is called for.


 No.323408

>>323403

What about short pink hair, white dress and cute ribbon on the neck?


 No.323409

>>323408

How about you try that for yourself but instead of a ribbon it's a noose.

>>323406

That's a very good style, I like it a lot, but >>323407 has a point. I'm not that opposed to it, but it's probably the wrong look to go for.


 No.323410

>>323407

Pale white skin with pitch black hair?


 No.323411

>>323393

>Well, it ripped me personally right out of it.

It is supposed to be a bit of a roadbump, but if it's affecting you that strongly, it might need some type of revision. Other people read this, did anybody else dislike it? As for the repetition, it wasn't meant to be direct/exact repetition, just variations on a theme.

>You are the pillar she's tied to right now, there's nowhere for her to "collapse" towards.

I'm pretty confident on this one. "Collapses into you" can definitely be used for this scenario.


 No.323414

>>323403

>Not particular on hair.

Come to think of it, I don't think I could definitively list a single character's hair color without looking it up.


 No.323415

>>323403

Beautiful, angelic hair that's white as snow obviously


 No.323416

File: c59b168618e53e7⋯.png (845.14 KB, 896x504, 16:9, ClipboardImage.png)

On topic of the factory:

The early game rework will include the factory as a whole, and as with everything still needs to be planned out before it's presentable in a proper format for the thread to provide further discussion on it. to plan further for it, however, ideas are necessary. Ideas on how to make it less linear and boring. The factory is still the first dungeon of the game, so it wont be the size of Lethice's Stronghold, keep that in mind.

The overall style it's going with is to present several scenarios that have multiple solutions and options to them in the form of small but different scenes with overall the same outcome. For example: say there are guards posted, you could fight them, sneak by with enough speed, and other things. If you suggest ideas, base them with the current factory in mind, as the theme will stay the same for it with probably all content preserved and remaining in the rework.

So go ahead and discuss the factory and potential content for it, I'll read it all and see what can be worked with.

>>323403

>You folk should trust me, I've listened.

I'm wholeheartedly not convinced.

>[I'm] Not particular on hair.

Long, to her lower back or butt-length. Light blonde in color, which while outside in light almost looks like it has faint white highlights in it.


 No.323419

>>323403

>I continue to listen, so feel free to shoot around her physical traits. I lean on modest bust size, but others may differ. Not particular on hair. I lean toward light skin.

To get it out of the way: She should be a loli. Preferably preteen, but toddler could work.

Now, if she's going to be older, I vote small but not flat chest. A-cup or smaller. Subtle curves in general; what would probably be considered a "boyish" figure, but still feminine, just not womanly. I do have some strong opinions on hair, but they depend on the rest of her in complex ways, so I couldn't really say yet what I'd prefer. I don't really have a preference on skin colour. Green eyes if you want a normal colour, violet if you want something more special, and extremely vibrant and piercing either way.


 No.323423

>>323403

>I continue to listen, so feel free to shoot around her physical traits.

We're pretty lacking when it comes to really petite and below average height gals that aren't loli-like at all imo.


 No.323424

>>323423

I agree, I'm not even sure if we have one. Actual midgets like Amily don't count.


 No.323425

>>323403

>physical traits

Nice, firm abs (not even bodybuilder-esque, just firm to the touch) make everything better.


 No.323427

>>323403

>I continue to listen, so feel free to shoot around her physical traits.

Golden eyes would work nicely in making her look holy and work well with blue hair, be it dark or light


 No.323433

File: a6594348a951c9f⋯.jpg (28.25 KB, 294x435, 98:145, satans_shitty_oc.jpg)

Timber!

https://pastebin.com/femw6sgA

My crooked and dirty loss last week meant I had to do the loss scene for Satan's lumberjack. There's some parts that require the gore toggle, so skip those if you're faint of heart. I'll open a first request thing right now, but I'm definitely not fit to do it at the moment, so expect your order to be fulfilled tomorrow. Standard rules and disclaimers apply.


 No.323434

>>323433

Making magic wand with Telly


 No.323436

>>323433

>request

Spitroasted by horses in the stables


 No.323437

>>323433

Lolifying any NPC of your choice. As in giving them lolipops or liddelium, not a toggle.

If you don't want to choose, then I pick Kid A. Bath Slut as a backup.


 No.323439

>>323434

Huh? Some guy wrote a magic wand already, and why would you be making anything with her? Why would you know how to make a wand?

>>323436

Anon, you know how horses work, right? How in the hell would they spitroast you? Their cocks are at the back, and they've got a lot of front, so there'd have to be a lot of clipping involved.

Better requests, please.


 No.323440

>>323439

>Better requests, please.

Forcibly giving a forest kitsune a fuckdraft, laying her onto her back, and (vaginally) riding her face while she masturbates furiously from the potion you gave her.


 No.323445

>>323439

Killing an Alice, beheading it, and using the head as an onahole.


 No.323446

>>323437

That's not a one-off scene at all, so it's right out.

>>323440

And we have a winner. I'll have your yuri ready tomorrow.

>>323445

I just want to let you know that I probably would have written this, sorry,


 No.323454

>>323446

>That's not a one-off scene at all, so it's right out.

If anyone writes the transformation scenes (plus any other new stuff that's required to make it work), I'm happy to lolify or shotafy all existing scenes. Assuming people are satisfied with the quality level of child Ember.

I may refuse though (or take a year to finish) if it's someone with an ungodly amount of content to go through like Urta, Amily, or Katherine. Or someone like Helspawn where it would require significant character changes. Or if you have shit taste and pick someone whose content I don't even want to look at (that means no shota Raphael).


 No.323456

>>323439

>Anon, you know how horses work, right? How in the hell would they spitroast you?

Well if you're particularly tall, and they're a smallish breed…


 No.323457

>>323454

Well if I can hold you to that, Satan wrote the harpy daughter lolification, but didn't (to my knowledge) update the existing scenes, so that'd probably be appreciated (after the parasite rework, Rathazul changes, BVA combat, earlygame rework, reconsidering all of these obligations, etc.).


 No.323458

>>323457

Wait I thought the harpy loli was supposed to be a different daughter altogether? Because the first like 4 or 5 of her kids she has all have different features in one way or another, I thought loli harpy was supposed to be a new one. Maybe i'm wrong here.

>>323454

So it's all cool if I write loli Jojo then? I've already got a basic outline. A thief is trying to steal the lolipops from my camp chest, when Jojo goes to stop the thief. Unable to stop the thief, he consumes all of the lolipops instead (as would make sense in this situation, can't let the thief get away with them).


 No.323460

>>323458

Gender changes would be more work. Maybe if I repurpose the Joy scenes, loli should cover up any quality issues.

>>323457

>Satan wrote the harpy daughter lolification

I completely forgot about that, and I'm unsure of the details there. I'll look into it later and see what, if anything, needs done.

>after the parasite rework, Rathazul changes, BVA combat, earlygame rework, reconsidering all of these obligations, etc.

Parasite rework is the main thing holding me back (other than a lack of time), it's hard to force myself to keep working on it but I've put too much work in to just drop it now. Once I can get through that and survive until loli seasonsummer, a lot of the time and motivation issues should be resolved.


 No.323461

>>323458

>So it's all cool if I write loli Jojo then? I've already got a basic outline. A thief is trying to steal the lolipops from my camp chest, when Jojo goes to stop the thief. Unable to stop the thief, he consumes all of the lolipops instead (as would make sense in this situation, can't let the thief get away with them).

Pretty smart way of doing it man

Jojo would obviously fall for allure of becoming little girl after six training sessions in one day but be unable to admit the truth afterwards

You could even be a good friend and pretend to buy it


 No.323462

>>323458

It's just presented as an option for any of them. You give them a lolipop, and they're frozen in development. I don't think there are variations for the first four at present, though. Don't know if Satan was interesting in fleshing this our at all.


 No.323466

>>323363

Shouldn't that be fixed? If the prerequisite perk renders the perk useless, what's the point of it existing? Can someone just fix this shit already or at least make agility not a prerequisite


 No.323469

>there's a dog companion that someone half-finished stuffed in the chronicles

So did that writer fuck off or what? Cus what is there does look pretty interesting.


 No.323470

>>323469

Most writers do, but people are free to pick it up if they want.


 No.323471

>>323469

Yeah they abandoned it. So if you want to continue it in any way, feel free. Anyone can continue abandoned stuff.


 No.323472

>>323471

>>323470

Won't lie and say it's not tempting, but I'm much more likely to just steal the relationship mechanics and start from scratch. Mostly because I can't really say I like what little personality of the mutt is in what the original writer wrote and also because I think that getting a pup of the same sort of that glacier mob and raising it could be fun.


 No.323473

>>323472

Go for that, then. I know a lot of people would appreciate the heck out of the content.


 No.323476

does corrupting the farm fuck up stables discovery or am i just cursed af on rng


 No.323477

>>323476

no, you're right.


 No.323485

I'm suddenly reminded, it'd be nice if people banned from the farm could secretly sneak into the stables.


 No.323502

>>323403

>I continue to listen, so feel free to shoot around her physical traits

Looong snow white hair, golden eyes (bonus points for really faint glow), pale skin, barefoot, loli.


 No.323510

File: 64a535454022c34⋯.png (308.76 KB, 640x480, 4:3, Angel Waifu.png)

>>323403

So we are getting a angel waifu/love love interest?

If yes will she be only for a 0% corrupt champion? and more importantly angel babies?


 No.323516

File: c5a6d80d52a494d⋯.jpg (187.51 KB, 800x697, 800:697, md_valkyrie_v5_face04.jpg)

File: ed55c864ed18101⋯.jpg (200.17 KB, 800x663, 800:663, md_valkyrie_v5_face03.jpg)

>>323403

Literally raven hair


 No.323517

>>323516

>literally

does it CAW?


 No.323545

How much modded game differs from original one?


 No.323546

>>323545

How much did you pay for your English lessons?


 No.323548

>>323546

Sadly, not much. Engurish in third world countries sucks.


 No.323563

>>323416

I think above all you need to make it and the characters have actual impact on the world

I'm not talking about the end of the factory where you get the choice of corrupting Marae or not (it should outright kill her) I'm talking about character consistency

where does the omnibus overseer go if you let her go or the secretary?

The mechanic comes back later in Lethice her stronghold but the other two completely disappear from the game so I think it is important to be able to find them and other unique characters later again


 No.323599

>>323563

> Lethice her stronghold

I've heard this before, I assume some languages just lack a direct equivalent to showing possession with apostrophe-s

But I see this "person his/her thing" in place of "person's thing" so rarely that I am quite curious which language it is that you speak natively.


 No.323603

is turning the daughter you have with sophie into a loli supposed to be in game already and i just missed it somehow like a moron, or is it not implemented (and when will it be, then?)

i need all my children to have the option to stay children, and also be fuckable, in order to be truly happy, you see


 No.323605

>>323599

I've been curious about that too. Tangentially, I'm equally curious about gendering pronouns based on the object instead of the antecedent, as in "John lusted after her daughter" instead of "his daughter".


 No.323606

Updated stables post slightly.

As I have interpreted it, Whitney loves animals on quite a genuine level, and does not necessarily find bestiality not arousing, but rather that she believes it's not good for the animal.

I am not an expert on her character. If this does not feel consistent with her, please point it out to me. Corrupt farm is literally one of the worst pieces of content in the entire game, so I will probably have a poor grasp on anything related to it.

>>323427

Ah the classic. Light skin, blonde eyes, blue hair.

>>323423

I gravitate most toward this at the moment, with hair as described by chronicler. Possibly blue eyes, though isn't that so typical?

>>323502

>golden eyes (bonus points for really faint glow)

I'll let Shouldra keep that for herself.

>>323462

I don't even remember why I did it. Looking at it now, it'd probably best to nix the lolipop bit and just add the scenes as something limited to the window of time that the harpies are young.

I've also gone back and updated the loli harpie scenes now. Basically just polishing up, no difference in content. Several alraune pastes were polished up too, based on proofreading I received.


 No.323609

>>323606

>Possibly blue eyes, though isn't that so typical?

Sort of, though they could be different in one way or another. Glowing blue, or pearlescent blue, or shifting between different shades of blue, or with interestingly colored prominent limbal rings, or she could have non-white sclera.


 No.323610

>>323606

Shouldra has those eyes? huh i never noticed


 No.323613

>>323606

So she is probably going to be petite not loli? Aw. Guess that's ok not everything can be loli otherwise they would become the new furries eventually still sad about it though


 No.323634

>>323613

Well Koraeli DID say they'd be willing to lolify most characters if someone writes the transformation and stuff. And Satan always says he's okay with people writing for his creations.

So you can put two and two together and prepare to write something.


 No.323643

File: bbc2ea753b27066⋯.jpg (1.42 MB, 2992x2095, 2992:2095, 73552734_p0.jpg)

>>323610

When she is casting spells, her(your) eyes slightly glow with golden light

>>323609

Glowing ice-blue eyes, frosty Shouldra knock-off. I probably will use that, though.

>>323613

Most kinks are diluted by saturation. You must pick your lolis carefully to get the most value out

Brief run-down of the spoiler-free outline. I have to read thousands of words of text about related stuff in-game before I actually get started, and I need to do the research and write a character entry for Shouldra in the lore bible. As such, the angel remains her most malleable and undefined for a while right now.

<Her name was decided immediately, and will not be subject to change

You encounter her in the glacial rift. She is thin, tired, and alone, and will somehow try to endear herself to you. I don't know how exactly. Though she looks in dire condition, the angelic features are rather apparent. Big feathery wings are hard to miss. You can choose to conditionally accept only for something in return, but either way she'll be teaching you magic as thanks.

<The magic she teaches you will definitely rely on being physically weak

You take her with you and her health begins to improve right away. She is affectionate and gentle, While helping her, your stats change, and you begin to learn spells. The first spell will be a blessing of hers to compensate the weakening of your body, that being the icy flesh spell that eventually becomes permanent in that school of magic.(auto-cast with battlemage)

With her, you will gain more spells and more power, You also get plenty of interactions with her, and she likes to hold onto you.

<The branching path

At the point that she is at her peak of health, the option to send her on her way will be present, or the option to lock in the love route. (also third "option" to just not progress her story, maintaining the status quo unless you decide to take action)

Getting rid of her will lead down another route that involves the glacial rift again. It's not long.

Locking in the love route will give you special variants to your spells unique to her, as well as making it impossible to possess you.(Sorry Exgartuan and Shouldra). There will also be a shadow achievement for this, it'll be a pun. (I wrote it down already)

So I have a list of other things I have to finish before I start on this project, but that's the rough gist of the plan, minus the specifics about what her story is and the exact events throughout. Besides the fagtext lines, everything is pretty subject to change. What people wish to say has the strongest influence over how this ends up going during this time.


 No.323646

>>323394

I was waiting for someone to remember the wheels.

>>323516

I'm not convinced that she wouldn't steal my trinkets and then kill my companions with the sheer force of her retreat when I confront her over it.


 No.323648

>>323643

Sure sounds like a nice and angelic character

Surely she's a messenger of God and not some horrific beast that steals men's souls, and make them her slaves


 No.323656

>>323643

>as well as making it impossible to possess you.(Sorry Exgartuan and Shouldra)

Heh, that's a really interesting touch.


 No.323660

>>323648

>Surely she's a messenger of God and not some horrific beast that steals men's souls, and make them her slaves

At least I'm not the only one reading vampire from that description.


 No.323662

>>323648

Why would she even want your soul? Currently only demons benefit from eating lethice


 No.323666

File: 7edde605ed6a4e1⋯.jpg (3.22 MB, 3024x4032, 3:4, 73580803_p0.jpg)

>>323648

>>323660

It's probably best that I stay quiet about speculation, but I'll state for the record that I mean everything I say about this project.

Take to heart that whatever I say I'm doing is what truly am aiming to do. If I say she's an angel, you better believe she'll be your angel.

Also vampires are trash, I will never write one for CoC. I know I said that about angels too, but I guess any blanket statement like that has to come with an unspoken "unless someone can think of a creative way to make it work really well"


 No.323673

>>323666

>Satanic trips

Well i can't argue with that


 No.323675

>>323666

>666

Welp.


 No.323688

>>323666

So vampire angels are an okay then?


 No.323689

>>323688

Vampire Angels sounds like the dumb sort of hybrid critter you'd get out of a schlocky horror film.

That and the Blood Angels and their successor chapters outta the 40k setting.


 No.323703

>>323606

>Looking at it now, it'd probably best to nix the lolipop bit and just add the scenes as something limited to the window of time that the harpies are young.

Any specific reasons against permaloli harpies? Looking through the code, it should be easy to keep them (or one of them) from growing up, or to delay their growth. That would require very little in the way of scene changes since they're already lolis, I'd just need to ensure consistency and allow for the presence of more than one child at a time.

Allowing them to "grow up" as normal, just with less mature bodies, would also be possible but the sex scenes (there's really only one, but with variations for each daughter) would need some significant changes. Changes beyond the scope of what I'd normally do, but possibly doable since it's such a tiny amount of content.


 No.323708

>>323703

If it's a lolipop that's used, wouldn't they mentally still grow up, but physically stay childlike? Lolipops don't really seem to do much to mental age.


 No.323709

>>323708

>wouldn't they mentally still grow up

The mental growth is already magical and artificial (and arguably not growth at all if they're bimbos), I see no reason it couldn't be suppressed (down to normal mental development) alongside the physical.


 No.323710

File: 9a033cd1643f819⋯.png (1.2 KB, 22x35, 22:35, evelyn.png)

There's a sprite named "Evelyn" in the game's source code but no implemented NPC by that name. What was she supposed to be?


 No.323711

>>323710

That's the Dullahan's name.


 No.323712

File: 254c3b2ebaacf91⋯.jpg (189.74 KB, 842x595, 842:595, drunk_kitsune.jpg)

Foxy Fun

https://pastebin.com/uKjPwj63

Alright, a little bit later than I'd wanted but here's the lust/fuck draft scene. Could probably make a male throatfucking variant without too much trouble, might do that tomorrow.


 No.323720

>>323711

What's she supposed to be wearing?


 No.323724

>>323720

Go play the fucking game if you want to know what she wears you stupid fucking kike


 No.323726

>>323724

Does it involve actually having to interact with her first?

I have no interest in reading the ins and outs of the meme waifu additions to this dying mod. The only scenes worth reading are additions to pre-existing characters because the fact that it's subpar writers piggybacking off of well-written ones makes them bearable to read compared to, say, some autist writing a scene where you lovingly make out with a moth girl, Bowsette, loli-stolen-from-generic-hentai, creepy-emo-without-a-head and so on. That said I'd like to see how badly they could fuck up a basic description of clothes, so I'll give it a look.


 No.323732

File: 7db1815a4aef35e⋯.jpg (43.76 KB, 640x300, 32:15, 130dcc10afa443743bfe74ef96….jpg)


 No.323758

So Joy was removed because it was out of character?

Isn't the bimbo liquor supposed to do that?


 No.323760

>>323758

Learn to fucking read for fuck's sake, how can you be in a thread for a text game and have such shit reading comprehension?


 No.323770

>>323712

Thanks for the scene. It's not really my thing, but I enjoyed reading through it. I went ahead and tried my hand as an editor; here's the link for the rewrite I did:

https://pastebin.com/UmgM1t39

The biggest issue I found was your over-long sentences. For example: in the third paragraph you had one sentence with 3 independent clauses joined with 2 conjunctions and a dependent clause on the end. Breaking those long sentences into shorter ones made the reading less cumbersome.

I hope you find it useful. I considered a side-by-side comparison or a series of comment inserts, but I don't think that'd be very readable in pastebin. Still, I can whip up something more formal from my notes if you want it.


 No.323791

>>323732

Urta is a pleb filter. Brainlets see a bad character written well and automatically assume it's badly written on account of her being a shitty sentimental manipulative cunt


 No.323799

How do you unlock the last terrestrial fire spell? The cheatsheet I found in the old threads doesn't mention it.


 No.323803

>>323799

I created Terrestrial Fire and even I don't have it unlocked.

Just keep spamming different spells, you'll get it eventually, probably. It's an ultra spell Koraeli added

>>323703

I don't plan to flesh it out, that's my only reason. Without the ability to make it permanent, the scenes are a lovely bit of extra content. With permanence, it's kind of a lackluster option that feels unfinished.

That's my opinion.


 No.323804

>>323803

So no permalolis until someone expands them?


 No.323813

>>323770

>Thanks for the scene. It's not really my thing, but I enjoyed reading through it.

This is very confusing. The first sentence makes it sound like you're the requester, but the second sentence makes it sound like you don't like the concept.

>I considered a side-by-side comparison or a series of comment inserts

Why didn't you consider using the format that everyone else uses and just write your comments in the thread? Or is this your first time here? What you've done is a bit of a pain to go through.

>Before you even finish your explanation, the kitsune snatches the draft from your hands and chugs it without a second thought.

Here you've simply removed the word "however." This makes me dubious as to whether I should even keep reading, as that is unnecessary, doesn't improve the sentence flow, and actually makes the sentence far more boring/declarative.

>You don't think she can handle much more waiting like this, so you instruct her to lie down. She eagerly complies, apparently not caring what you have planned so long as she gets her fix.

Successions of "He did this. She did that." sentences are not fun to read. The presence of a three clause sentence (the last thing on the end isn't a clause, it's just a participle) is by no means overbearing (the clauses themselves are very short besides), and it's not hard to parse in the slightest. Also, changing "readily" to "eagerly" causes a minor repetition problem.

>Before you even lower yourself to meet her the kitsune's hands latch onto you

Here you've removed an absolutely necessary and required comma for no discernible reason. The removal of the "but" also feels a bit off. You know you can do that, right? Your third grade English teacher wasn't the be all end all authority on style and taste.

>and exploring your depths in earnest.

I like this one, appreciated.

>and her lust-fueled intoxication

This doesn't make sense, and her intoxication is fueling the lust, not the other way around.

>From your vantage point you can see

You're really touchin' a nerve here.

>You can tell how experienced with this she is by the practiced ease of her motions.

Cutting sentences off like this just makes things feel more disconnected. It's fine to have shorter sentences, but they should flow into each other. Additionally, you've made this paragraph into three sentences in a row with the exact same subject and similar configuration, which can start to feel repetitive.

>As she takes her pleasure into her own hands your hands

Oh god that's awful. Please learn how commas work.

>Taking full advantage of this arrangement you cup her breasts

Stop, it hurts.

>When your fingers brush her nipples she gasps into you sending tingles

Please, no. What have I done to deserve this, O Lord?

>Eager for more you give them a twist

I'm starting to feel physically sick.

>Your peak approaches, and with no reason to hold back, you grind your pelvis into her lovely lips as your fluids [if (wetness>a lot) gush|trickle] onto her face.

This sentence isn't even shorter at all, so what's the excuse here?

>A second climax washes over you, your legs giving out

First of all, your legs aren't really supporting you here, your core is, which is why I wrote about that. Secondly, not everyone has legs in CoC.

>the lusty kitsune paws weakly at your nethers

Why do you hate the word "start"? It's a perfectly fine word.

I didn't respond to every single revision, as most of them were just replacements of single words which didn't really do anything. Overall, it feels like you're just trying to change everything to match your style, which is not good editing, and especially so when your style is to have every sentence be a rote, boring combination of a main clause and one mixer. I'm also going to advise you to not edit things without a stronger grasp of commas, as you tried to introduce several errors which would be pretty bad if they actually made it into the game.


 No.323820

>>323813

This guy reminds me of someone I met. He heard I was a writer and was excited because he was one too, and I gave him some input on his story. A lot of things to correct, but that's what any writer is going to run into in a first draft.

He wanted to read something I wrote after that, and he just showered it in loads of needless changes and outright mistakes. Like you said, a matter of trying to fit it to his own style. I remember him being way too aggressive about wanting to change 'carnal' to 'primal'. Or the other way around, I sorta forget now, but the point is that it really didn't matter.

So while some might want to assume this guy's a troll, those people really do exist. I'd bet he's been writing without serious critique for a long time.


 No.323824

>>323384

DON'T DEAD

OPEN INSIDE


 No.323893

>>323799

>>323803

Trying to figure it out is a pain since most things die before you can finish testing various combos, and even after you find it, it still shows the "???" unless you get the achievement for killing someone higher level than you with it. Find something higher level, Molten Armor, then Scorch and Quake. You'll see a new spell. Use it. That's not the right spell. Next use the OTHER new spell to charge up and kill the target and get the achievement that gets rid of the"???". Make sure the enemy doesn't die/fall to lust during the charge, you'll have to wait a while before you get another shot at the spell. While both are pretty cool, needing an achievement to remove the annoying "???" is bad. Should update when you use the spell. At least on future playthroughs, you just need to level your Terrestrial Fire, since achievements carry over.

In writing this, I realize I'm a little asshurt over the connection between an achievement and a grayed out button, and need to re-evaluate my life choices.


 No.323902

how long until we can dick the cute loli?


 No.323903

>>323902

Which one? There are several cute lolis you can dick already.


 No.323904

>>323903

are you sure?


 No.323908

>>323904

Quite sure. Off the top of my head I can think of 3, although one of those is technically at least 168 different characters, and then there are two more that could count from a certain perspective.


 No.323919

>>323903

I vote the cute loli tiger/sharkdaughters.


 No.323922

>>323893

>this convoluted nonsense for unlocking a spell was done by Koraeli

Reminder that this is the same guy doing the early game rework, including mandatory always-on hunger mechanic.

Ability to create non-transformative food and drink being locked behind an secret achievement from NG+3 or higher when.


 No.323924

>>323922

>Reminder that this is the same guy doing the early game rework, including mandatory always-on hunger mechanic.

Zero words of that are true.


 No.323925

alright is your mod worth playing or is it just worse than the regular game just with other disgusting shit


 No.323960

>>323893

>>323922

>this convoluted nonsense for unlocking a spell

The combo system is used throughout Terrestrial Fire, with every ongoing effect unlocking some combo. I didn't think "have them all going at once for special combo" would be too hard to figure out.

I agree the ??? after finding Terra Star is misleading though. It implies there's still a new spell to find when it's really just hinting at the achievement, and there's nothing to suggest that you need to use it on a stronger enemy. I can fix that.

>Reminder that this is the same guy doing the early game rework, including mandatory always-on hunger mechanic.

I count 6 false claims in an 18-word sentence, that's actually kind of impressive.

>>323925

It's better than the regular game by far, but saying that it's worth playing might be a stretch.


 No.323961

>>323813

>>323820

Criticism acknowledged

Now that you mention it, I probably did shift your writing it into my "style". I assure you it was unintentional.

I stand by my observation that sentences such as this . . .

>You don't think she can handle much more waiting like this, so you instruct her to lie down, and she readily complies, apparently not caring what you have planned so long as she gets her fix.

. . . are a poor writing choice. You keep adding more and more and more thoughts onto the first one. Who wants to hear/read a person run on and on like that? You could make a list or break-up the sentence.

<You don't think she can handle much more waiting like this, so you instruct her to lie down.

This is the Champion's observation and the action that comes from it.

<She readily complies, apparently not caring what you have planned so long as she gets her fix.

And this is the kitsune's action with her assumed motivation. It's understood that the 2nd sentence follows the 1st, cause and effect. There's no need to string it all together, and I maintain it doesn't read well.

>Oh god that's awful. Please learn how commas work.

I was chastised repeatedly for over-use of commas in my youth. Perhaps you're right; perhaps I don't use commas enough or correctly. As a counterpoint, you seem overly fond of them; periods and semicolons are your friends too.

>I like this one, appreciated.

At least you found one suggestion of value. That was my intention, and I'll take solace in having improved the work (,) by however little.


 No.323975

>>323961

>I assure you it was unintentional.

To avoid this issue in the future, I recommend that you just write your comments out. When you directly edit the text without justifying/explaining your choices, it feels pretty presumptuous, and you're probably more likely to change things without thinking about it.

>Who wants to hear/read a person run on and on like that?

That sentence doesn't even run onto a second line here. I've seen far, far longer and more complex sentences from numerous different authors. You are in a very small minority here, as I've never seen anybody else complain about me using three clauses at once, or even about having long sentences in general. It's fine to prefer not to use them in your own writing, but it almost strains belief that you haven't seen writing like that elsewhere enough to know that most don't agree with you. I find that variations in sentence length and structure where appropriate makes for the most engaging writing, and this opinion seems fairly widely accepted.

>You could make a list or break-up the sentence.

But a list would be literally the exact same thing with one less conjunction, and it would also be awful here.

>There's no need to string it all together

There's also no reason not to. The ideas are connected enough to share space in the same sentence, as they are a sequence of related events. It's not like every sentence is like that (which would definitely be overbearing), it's just something I do every once in a while (I think twice in this passage?). Your position is so polarized that I have a hard time even trying to respond to it. Obviously you could write it as two sentences, but there's no reason you have to. It's not confusing, and it doesn't even ask you to remember anything, as all of the constituent parts are short and clear. Every thought can be expressed in an endless number of ways, and the one that you happen to like best isn't objectively right or anything.

>As a counterpoint, you seem overly fond of them

While I am, that has nothing to do with anything. Commas go in the places they're supposed to go, it is pretty infrequently a matter of taste. And semicolons often feel too heavy for this register, but that is more of a preference thing. As for the specific issues in your edits, you removed 90% of the commas after introductory phrases, which is a place that commas are required unless the phrase is particularly short/related to what follows (I see amounts like 4-5 words thrown around, but it's pretty subjective). For things like full clauses (which a lot of these were), you almost always want one there. Additionally, commas are required preceding participial phrases which have been moved to the end of the sentence. If you want to proofread anything else, please do look up how punctuation works, as incorrect editing can be a pretty serious issue. There are a plethora of online resources for this, including the writing guide in the OP.

>That was my intention, and I'll take solace in having improved the work (,) by however little.

There were also other mistakes I noticed because of you, even if your specific suggestions weren't taken, so thanks for that as well.


 No.323997

Tamani waifu when


 No.323999

>>323997

Never because she is a goblin

at best she becomes a slave to your dick and you keep her in a spooge pit at camp, which you occasionally jack off into once the jizz levels start dipping below a certain point.


 No.324001

>>323999

Do people here hate goblins or something? What horrible taste.

Well Im out then, thanks for telling me


 No.324003

>>324001

Out of curiosity, where did you find out about this mod?


 No.324005

>>324003

No idea, probably here, must have been years ago now.

I just keep checking every few months to see if there was any goblin love but if there is never going to be any then I dont see the point anymore.


 No.324014

>>324005

Who said there wouldn't be? Someone was writing gobbo stuff, but they quit. Anybody can do it any time they want.


 No.324016

>>324005

Fucking retard complaining about no goblin content yet hasn't even CONSIDERED writing any himself. Fuck off you worthless cunt.


 No.324017

>>324005

Goblins have the most sex scenes outside of maybe SOME named characters mate. How much more love do they need?


 No.324018

>>324017

generic goblins with no name do nothing for me

>>324016

I cant write


 No.324020

>>324018

>I cant write

Well not with that attitude no, of course you can't.


 No.324021

>>324020

No offense but if I were to devote time to get good at writing Id write my own stuff with new characters and world and wouldnt write for another game/setting


 No.324023

>>324021

Because that's realistic. Get over your fucking self.


 No.324024

>>324023

what?

Anyways Im wasting your time and messing up your thread so Ill be leaving now


 No.324082

Taking baths for longer than 30 pages isn't eco-friendly:

>[if gender is female:( nor are you a prince,)]

It's been so long, but isn't this a female only scene? How did this branch even start?

>You try to kiss her to the best of your abilities, but no matter what you try, no matter how gently or ardently you make out with the unconscious girl, with her remaining entirely insensate and giving you not the slightest bit of reciprocation, you soon lose heart and retreat again.

I know I just gave that guy all that shit, but you might want to consider reorganizing/slimming this sentence down a bit. You started to lose me around the "with her remaining."

>You free one of your hands,

From what?

>gather some meat on Marielle's cheek, then tweak it, hard.

Excuse me, she's not a sandwich. This "on" isn't really doing anything the good lord would want it to.

>and dirty floor would probably be not too comfortable

This particular word order is a bit awkward, mainly due to where you've put the negative, so I'd recommend "probably wouldn't be too comfortable" or making it "uncomfortable" or something like that.

>whether you're truly alive or an undead existence like Marielle is.

Saying that someone is an undead existence seems a bit off, but that might just be me.

>Sighing, you gather her many hands onto her lap, hook one arm under her knees and the other around her back to hug her close to you, then lift the light girl up.

Having an element in the middle of a list be significantly longer than the others can be a bit awkward, and that "and" really makes me want to parse it as moving to the next item.

>carry her very far like this, but thankfully, you won't have to.) else: […] Carrying

repetition

>where you momentarily set her down onto a pile of fabric rolls.

While "onto" feels a lot less bad here than some of the previous ones, I'd still recommend "on" (and google ngram supports this).

>something you'd expect from a traveller, but perhaps her preference for something

mild repetition (and -l)

>you tuck her in almost like a [father] [his] child.

There's a word missing here. "Would"?

>You swiftly gather that one as well where she left it near the pond

Why "one"? There haven't been any other dresses discussed in this scene. Also, you need a "from," as otherwise that's where you're bringing it (although it wouldn't make sense to gather one thing in that sense of the word).

>you notice her eyebrows knit together and her lips are pressed thin

These should match, so "are knitted together."

>Well, you [if corruption <25:(are largely to blame for that

This "that" parses as referring to her remembering the event, not the event itself.

>so you ask her if that's a more common occurrence.

I don't know what "than" you're trying to imply here, so you might consider not omitting it.

>well, I wished to thank you as well, for all the care you took of me, while I was… well

It's dialogue, but still.

>Her waving hand gesture is one you're not completely sure of how to interpret.

Remove the "of."

>"<i>Well, but

Not a fan of this one, but I don't know if you were just going for the usual Marielle awkwardness.

>//Reminder, this is the option for getting right down to business as she's fishing for the soap

Thanks, you're a doll. I feel bad that this doesn't help me all that much.

>quickly getting to know her mellow sweet-sourness underneath a not-unpleasant note of fermentation.

I don't think the "her" and the "underneath" interact all that well.

>reminding you of the girl's state of undeath yet again

This feels a bit redundant/obvious to me.

>enveloped entirely by her cool, squeezing inner walls before you start to work your oral magic

"Before" used in this sentence usually implies that the first thing is over by the time the second one happens.

>, then

I just want to let you know that these "then"s are upsetting me, but I'm powerless to stop you.

>You're unable to see anything except for the snow-white of her butt cheeks, but you don't need more than that.

This actually made me go back and read the previous part to understand the positioning, and I am very cross with you now.

>held-up legs

That means "delayed."

>dammed

n

>your stoked passion

It might not be the case for everyone, but "stoked" definitely has the wrong effect for me.

>you're quickly running yourself out of air.

Remove the "yourself."

>Fervently grinding your thighs together, you have to briefly come up to catch a few much-needed breaths,

Why do have have this sentence as its own paragraph? It feels a bit stranded all by itself to me, and it fits with the content of the last paragraph.

>Marielle's feet on your back trying to pull you right in again.

Alright, that one doesn't make sense unless she has a few more joints you haven't told us about.

I'm ending a bit abruptly, but with a promise than more will come soon.


 No.324108

File: ed44c29ae2832cd⋯.png (265.63 KB, 437x692, 437:692, over the line.png)

kitsune mansion update, only three months late: https://pastebin.com/DWzadYZZ

The new things are almost all lewd alice activities.


 No.324119

>>324108

>Nothing for player being Alice that is alice as well


 No.324166

>>324108

>The grass is soft and and supple

And and supple. Mm. Supple grass. Good word choice, never heard it used for grass before, but I like it.

>you-

A minor thing, but you should double-hyphen so the parser can convert it to an em-dash ( — )

>Two glowing, emerald eyes

Akbal?

>a vicious cat-demon-thing covered in matted, unwashed fur

Wh—uh, huh? Akbal's much more unkempt cousin over here. Seems like there ought to be a check for if the player has encountered Akbal before considering this is so similar.

>the creature dropping to all fours

That thing was standing on two legs? The description didn't make that clear to me

>your kin]

Can you really call it that? You didn't grow up with them, you weren't born this way. You aren't naturally a kitsune, you're only a few steps above blackface tbh.

>when you [if (not tall) look up

Weren't you already looking up at her face to assess that she looks apologetic?

>what a good girl you are

So this is based on female-only being pronoun, not sex? A full female can be very masculine or manually choose to use masculine terms. If you want it based on genitals, that needs to be "good [boy]" so the parser can work its magic.

>[start a fight with one of the non-futa kitsunes]

Seems strange that you can beat droves of kitsunes, absolutely massacre them, but then a regular one has such tremendous efficacy spinning you around in circles up until this point.

>"I don't recall ever drawing the attention of a [pc species] before." You point out that you could say the same about kitsunes, and she laughs. "Fair enough, I suppose."

I'm missing something, because somehow I don't understand this exchange. You could well have drawn the attention of hundreds of kitsunes prior this. They're all very interested in you.

>You glance at the darkening sky

At 10 in the morning?

>[if (pc species is different from starting species)

The color of your skin doesn't change your species, racist, so it's just if PC is not human

>[if (goo body) where your ear ought to be

Pretty sure goo players still have ears

The fact this is over 600 lines long is really wearing me down. Why is it all one paste? I'm 170 lines in and hurting, curse my short attention span. I need bitesize chunks, yuribot

><i>she</i> stops - you lurch forward

Double-hyphenate. Also, I think "you" should be italicized instead of "she". That might seem a bit up to personal style, but as it stands it reads as "She comes to a sudden stop. Or more precisely she stops."

I think it read more smoothly as "she comes to a sudden, gut-wrenching stop. Or more precisely, she stops — you lurch"

>>//part 2: mansion stuff

This looks like the perfect spot to make it two pastes. I'm going to treat it as two pastes and stop here.

Why is it all one paste though? I don't understand, I'm curious.


 No.324170

Occasionally when interacting with Benoit, his pixel art will shift out of place and appear to the right of your gem counter. This corrects itself eventually though it continues to happen more than once.


 No.324172

>>324170

That should only happen in silly-mode. It also should be switching from his normal sprite to the (((Benoit))) one.

Looking in game, it appears his sprite is mixed up a little. He's using both the new and the old one in silly mode. Strange. Added to bug tracker.

Non-silly doesn't appear to have this problem, it's using the correct sprite and isn't shifting position.

>>323804

It's only my opinion, but yes that's what I'm saying. I won't stop anybody, though.


 No.324180

>>324172

How goes the qt angel research?


 No.324198


 No.324204

File: 4988e25504d0567⋯.png (816.18 KB, 1200x800, 3:2, 326740.png)

I went a whole week without writing a sex scene. To be honest, that's probably the rate I ideally would do it, but this game would rather I do 5 sex scenes for every non-sex one.

Succubus Captive

https://pastebin.com/4aJiZjAZ

A nice one-time event but it takes 4 or more sex scenes. The bad end for failure, the male and female options for succ, the male and female options for inc. That's 5 if you don't take the lazy route and make one scene cater to both genders.

All while I'd rather write 5 non-lewds to every lewd.

Maybe I need to take a brief hiatus from CoC. I don't think I felt this much disdain for sex scenes in the past.

Unwritten lore: The wider physiques of the two demons, as well as the lumberjack's atypical facial and body hair, are because they're bear people.

>>324180

Racially, I have everything relevant. Filling out part of the lore bible takes priority, as does finishing my ongoing stuff. I should use my breaks between productivity to further detail the stages of the story and what the major beats are, since that helps build a roadmap without being all that hard or being a big deal if I end up needing to change things. The way I have it set up right now, I'll need two different introductions depending on stuff, and then I need two other existing events to get variants written for if you already have the angel. I… probably want to read up on what the hell exgartuan is too, since that might need to be touched on. I'm not certain, but I think the angel should be exorcising that menace from you.

Guess if I'm doing that, I should make an entry for exgartuan in the lore bible too.

Is there anything else people think I ought to look at before I get started on the angel's scenes? If it ends up not relevant, the worst case is that I have a stronger grasp on the existing pieces of the game.


 No.324210

File: 9f9042be05b994c⋯.jpg (254.24 KB, 542x1200, 271:600, 57770473_p2_master1200.jpg)

Mothshit

https://pastebin.com/5Ys8svqt

I did a few more short, miscellaneous scenes, including the conversation with Sylvia about daughter-diddling, the second magic conversation with Dolores after you've finished her stuff, and a short stalking encounter at camp. Not 100% sure about the first one, as I know what I'm going for, but I don't know that it's coming through well. Still need to do the headpat variation, I haven't forgotten you, anon.

>>324166

>Can you really call it that?

"Kin" works there.

>so it's just if PC is not human

There's a starting race variable already in place, so it's fine as is.


 No.324212

Is anyone else having trouble hitting the Dullahan? I know your suppose to wait until she's close enough to strike but so far I haven't been able to hit her at all. I don't remember exactly what tips you off that you should strike this turn but I also don't remember having this much trouble. No matter when I attempt to strike it says I'm too far away, then turns right around saying she's also close enough for her to land blows. What gives?


 No.324217

>>324204

This is something that's been bothering me about your scenes for quite a while, and don't take this the wrong way, but whenever a climax is involved in your writing it really just falls flat.Whenever you write a climax for any character (especially for PCs) it reads as if you just want to get it over with and spend as little words on it as possible, instead of making it what it is named for, a climax of the scene. There is no real weight or description to what is going on, no feelings of fluids (especially if a demonic male would fill you up with corruptive spunk and things like that), no satisfying writing where in this scene's case the succubus her pussy really is sucking it all out of you when it hits, that sort of stuff.

It's not a recent thing and can be found in almost all your scenes. I really hope you can add more "OOMPFH" to the climaxes you write, because everything else is great.


 No.324231

File: 55d5c9568d3a643⋯.png (69.34 KB, 545x488, 545:488, 1468600509245.png)

when?


 No.324233

File: ec531992107d38a⋯.jpg (18.07 KB, 400x279, 400:279, too lewd.jpg)

What are the odds of a CoC Editor updated to fit the latest modded version(s)?


 No.324234

>>324233

What are the odds of the next anon looking for the answer which has already been posted in this thread before asking?


 No.324236

File: 6bc60534d1dcd8e⋯.png (102.04 KB, 336x481, 336:481, Glares disapprovingly.PNG)

>>324234

Hey congrats. You levelled up in "being a cunt".

CoCEd does not cover most of the new items, and has not for awhile now.


 No.324237

>>324236

That's why you use the debug wand you stupid nigger.


 No.324238

Request from Moth for winning the writing competition this week

Kiha DrakeHeart

https://pastebin.com/h8ndhzpS

>>324217

I appreciate the criticism. I should work on improving on that weakness.

And yes, "i just want to get it over with" is my exact thought every time. There is no good excuse, however. I have now amended it slightly, does that suffice?

>>324233

To make your search for an answer shorter: The vanilla CoCEd will work for modded versions. The only thing that it can't do is list the items, perks, and so on that it doesn't know exist. It will list them if you have them in your save, and you can modify those without issue, but if you don't have it then it can't list it. Nevertheless, nothing will break from using it. Why anyone even wants to use the editor is beyond me.


 No.324240

>>324238

> the items, perks, and so on

…and that's exactly what I wanted to edit in the saves. It doesen't help that most of the new flags don't show up with names, meaning I can't edit the conditions by looking each one up.


 No.324241

File: a152156dc15e27d⋯.mp4 (3.45 MB, 900x900, 1:1, dr phil.mp4)

>>324240

Oops, guess you gotta play the game to get them. You can still load up 99 perk points and 100 in all your stats. Like I said, nothing will break. Want to get rare items? Get one, then you can just load up the editor, go to that stack in your possession, and make that a stack of 99.

This is such a tiny hurdle to get over.

I don't even understand why this matters. Again, if you already have it, it will be displayed perfectly fine. If you don't have it, it's just a small detour to grab.

Can you explain why you care?


 No.324242

>>324240

>Waaaaaahhh, I want other people to waste their time on the shitty tool I like to use instead of using the in-game one that already accounts for new items.


 No.324247

>>324238

>I have now amended it slightly, does that suffice?

It does for what is a one time scene, thank you. Contrary to what you might expect, there are a lot of scenes from vanilla that really get the climax down. I really like the climaxing of a person be it myself or another, and I assume that's where most people will try to orgasm if they masturbate to it, so if it comes up short like this it's a real downer for everyone involved. You don't have to retroactively change all your old scenes (although it would be nice if you could for the ones not added in the game yet like the velvet alraune scenes, especially the warp & milk just brushes over it), but do please keep in mind that it would be nice if it could last longer for anything in the future? Thank you for writing all this stuff, you're a good guy, Satan.


 No.324252

>>324247

What kind of fucking weirdo masturbates to CoC?


 No.324255


 No.324263

>>324240

Well you can add items by the debug menu and just get perks by leveling up (which you can also cheat for the xp) so I dunno what else you could really want.


 No.324283

>>324240

The source code is right at the top of the thread and has names for every flag and descriptions for most of them. You can add all the flags, items, and perks to the editor manually via the xml file. The only thing the editor won't do after that is edit clit length or alter masteries. You're asking someone else to do what you can easily do yourself.


 No.324303

I can't really find anything on this, when I want to enter the demonic factory I get put in the Tower of Deception instead, I don't really get why.


 No.324305

>>324303

Alright so for some reason if you for some inexplicit reason just pass the clone puzzle without completing it you just get put at the entrance of the Tower of Deception when trying to enter other dungeons.


 No.324308

>>323142

Is there any more of Helboi's stuff somewhere else? I'm curious about what other stuff he wrote asides from the mino stuff


 No.324316

>>324210

Thank you for letting us ask Sylvia about diddling Dolores even though that sounds really weird typing it out.

If it's not too much trouble would it be possible to assure her that Dolores wouldn't be competing for our love with her and that you will still love them both the same as always?

I love Sylvia, she's wonderful and I don't want her to feel like second fiddle after bringing up Dolores.


 No.324317

>>324308

He had a few other ideas in the works but the response to the shitstorm that his work caused (and not necessarily the response to the rough work itself, which was strange) long since drove him away, we're talking a whole year ago now


 No.324318

>>324119

I'll add something, just for you and your questionable naming decisions.

>>324166

>You aren't naturally a kitsune

You can be through ascension. Or at least, you can get the game to spit out "You began your journey as a kitsune". Probably some of the donut steel names start off as a non-human as well.

>girl

I don't understand how any of this works in game, but I'll trust the parser does something smarter than me.

>so it's just if PC is not human

See above. You can begin as a non-human, but haven't necessarily changed your appearance.

>Pretty sure goo players still have ears

Do they? I searched the goo-girl scenes for ears and the only mention isn't hers. Not like it really matters, I'll just remove it.

>Why is it all one paste?

The first section wasn't that long, so I started adding on and it turned into this.

>the intro

That was actually one of the first things I wrote for the game, so it could definitely use a rework.


 No.324322

>>324082

>It's been so long, but isn't this a female only scene? How did this branch even start?

It's restricted to having a vagina and no dick. You could be a tranny here, for instance.

>I just want to let you know that these "then"s are upsetting me

Show me were they touched you.

>This actually made me go back and read the previous part to understand the positioning

Is it a clarity issue on my part or has it just been too long since you've read the preceding scene?

>It might not be the case for everyone, but "stoked" definitely has the wrong effect for me.

Can't you use "stoke" together with emotions?


 No.324323

>>324238

>Why anyone even wants to use the editor is beyond me.

I find it faster and more intuitive than the debug wand, personally.


 No.324324

>>324317

He's been back a couple times since then, claiming that he has something done that he'll post in the next day or two, then never does.

>>324322

>Can't you use "stoke" together with emotions?

You can, but he's saying that his mind goes to the other meaning of "stoked."


 No.324330

>>324316

That was her assumption, which was what I was trying to get across with the last part. Was that not clear, or did you just want to make super extra sure?

>>324322

>Is it a clarity issue on my part or has it just been too long since you've read the preceding scene?

The latter mostly, but that feet comment did confuse me.

>Can't you use "stoke" together with emotions?

"Stoked" is pretty firmly the slang meaning for me.


 No.324345

>>324330

I'm not the guy who responded to your first scene.

>which was what I was trying to get across with the last part.

The "shadow of pain" part really throws that off, though, it reads as if she convinces herself of something in that moment as she sometimes already does, but it's not the loving family sentiment you wanted to get across and rather more something dangerous. Aside from that, the scene is you asking two questions without doing anything else, why wouldn't the player reassure Sylvia, tell her you love the idea of a loving family like that, or anything like that? The player is pretty much a stiff wooden board throughout it waiting for Sylvia's reaction so they can get on with it.


 No.324359

>>324305

wait, how are you passing the puzzle without completing it? It's a debug mode only thing, right?


 No.324362

>>324212

somehow it broke itself again. It'll try to whip up a fix.


 No.324370

just a quick autism fix now, no new content.

Do not use browsers you morons

1.4.2.1

https://mega.nz/#F!St0HiaTC!oNQs48SWTDvmDBLHWZuHHA

>Source Code

https://gitgud.io/BelshazzarII/CoCAnon_mod

>Changelog

https://pastebin.com/CDU8byhd


 No.324400

Fun little tidbit of trivia: Guys are at their cutest when you hit them.

First request I get, I write. Usual rules apply.

>>324247

Your kind words go further than you realize, and I am grateful for it.

99% of the time, I just skip sex scenes, myself. I probably should read them, but I don't like them. I want to get better, so I should consume more erotic literature, but I hate sex scenes. They're so boring. Thank you for giving me input to help me refine my skill.


 No.324406

>>324400

Alice womb onaholes.


 No.324408

>>324400

I want something wholesome. PC with wings and high enough strength flying around with his kid. I don't remember, can we have a kid with Kiha? I remember scenes talking about that kid trying to breath fire, not realizing she isn't actually a dragon. Lets give her some time in the sky.


 No.324415

>>324166

>This looks like the perfect spot to make it two pastes.

And so it is: https://pastebin.com/Uyn3M23R

The meeting in the new paste happens faster and is hopefully more subdued, so you can quickly get into beating her up if you like.


 No.324418

File: d99cf2491f549ac⋯.mp4 (899.48 KB, 480x480, 1:1, Fallin.mp4)

>>324406

already wrote goblin womb fucking. I won't do another womb fuck. Or, at least, not with that lack of detail to firmly differentiate it from the existing one.

>>324408

No Kiha kid at the moment. Take this

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

https://pastebin.com/MKNjaB2d

That was nice.


 No.324421

>>324418

>No Kiha kid at the moment.

Damn.

That aside, the scene was everything I hoped it would be. Thank you.


 No.324424

>>324345

>The "shadow of pain" part really throws that off, though, it reads as if she convinces herself of something in that moment as she sometimes already does

It was meant to be ambiguous as to whether it's from the whole lost family thing or the present situation. Was that not clear? I know that her whole dead family thing doesn't come up all that often.

>The player is pretty much a stiff wooden board throughout it waiting for Sylvia's reaction so they can get on with it.

Oh no, you've seen through my clever ruse. Part of the problem is that providing the player the opportunity to be lovey-dovey would mean that I'd also have to write the opposite, and I wasn't sure how to do that without having long-term consequences. I can give it a try, though.

>>324418

Kiha has kids, they just have barely any content at all.


 No.324462

Any option to make every sex scene available all the time? having to grind for items/transformations sucks


 No.324464

>>324462

If you don't want to play the fucking game then don't play the fucking game


 No.324466

>>324464

I want to read the porn, the game part of this game is horrible and not fun, just a bunch of grinding clicking the same shit over and over and over to level an affection stat, its bad


 No.324468

>>324466

Then just rip the scenes you want to read from the source code and piece them together, fuckboy.


 No.324469

>>324466

So, as I said, shut the fuck up and don't play the goddamned game.


 No.324470

>>324242

>>324237

What are you talking about where is that option in the game?


 No.324484

Is the Alice content in the game limited to their deepwoods interactions?


 No.324506

I noticed something odd with Telly's face paint. After getting some dope art applied to one character's cheeks, I then moved on to making a new character and received a message that the face paint had vanished by morning on day one, even though the new character hasn't even been to the Bazaar yet. Not a big deal, but thought I should point it out.


 No.324508

>>324506

>Visited Telly

Can't even be lewded yet and has horribly inconsistent demonic lore, literally what is the fucking point


 No.324517

File: 85ebb74c63d5635⋯.png (1.6 MB, 1093x1077, 1093:1077, thunk (3).png)

>>324508

>horribly inconsistent demonic lore


 No.324530

>>324508

It must surely be bait… But i just gotta ask, where's the inconsistency?


 No.324569

BVA vine victory notes:

>Coming out on top from the fight, you figure it's only fair that you teach her a little lesson.

Minor tense thing, but it would have to be "Having come out on top," as you already did that.

>that large floral home of hers before you}] drag her a few feet away from that flower of hers.

repetition (future ones omitted for space)

>She lets out a quick and unintentional gasp at the pain

"Unintentional" strikes me as a bit off.

>a sound that almost sounded

>Dazed, she remains dazed

>as you distractedly stare at black, empty opening in her back.

the

>A bit disturbing, but somehow it seems a bit

>Undeterred by her inhuman back problem

Is it a problem for her? I haven't seen any indication that she minds it.

>she lets out another moan of what sounds like mixed emotion.

I'd recommend actually enumerating the mixed emotions here.

>you tell her that if she likes pain then she'll get pain.

You could consider a comma after "pain," but it's not necessary.

>a black sap-like substance

comma after "black"

>smaller than they should be, and getting smaller.

>You separate one of her vines away from the others, and firmly grip it near the tip.

no comma

>tip. Running the tip

This one actually feels kinda okay to me, but still.

>lower your body and perch yourself atop her lower

>back, just where that gaping back

This one is also a bit odd, as that's where the hole ends, not her entire back.

>as you grab a one of her vines

-a

>before slipping it inside.

Don't know exactly where to put this, but don't her vines have thorns? Why is the player just cool with sticking that in their hoo-ha? You could include some kinda detail about how that one was particularly smooth or something.

>Giving the black vine a few small thrusts to yourself, you tell her to take over from there.

"To yourself" doesn't work here, and I'd recommend including some word to make the timing of these different like an "after" at the very start or a "then" before "tell."

>very deliberately trying to not make this very

There was also one last sentence, so I'd recommend keeping the second.

>You tell the rebellious bitch that she's not doing a good enough job and you intend to show her how to really fuck with these vines.

If you use the "that" the first time, you should generally keep using it (so one after the "and"). I also personally find that "fuck with" always parses as the other meaning for me, but that might not be the case for everyone.

>appendages, […] appendage

A little bit further apart here, but the word is uncommon enough that it's a problem.

>her dried vine deeper

Why dried?

>start to feel the vine inside of you start

>inside her. Her vine dances around inside

There are four this paragraph, but these are the only ones that necessitate a change.

>forcefully sink her dried vine deeper […] forcefully stuff it in, […] as you force it deep inside her. […] before grabbing yet another vine and forcing

Not all of them need to be changed, just 1-2.

>Her vine dances around inside of you more excitedly and you

comma after "excitedly"

>Even as you notice a bit of "blood" begin seeping from her overly stretched alraune ass

"Alraune ass" strikes me as a bit funny.

>as she eagerly massages

This is the last verb you used to describe this, and it doesn't work with.

>and practically begins panting

"Practically" doesn't work here, as what would she be doing that's almost but not quite panting?

>The gothic floral beauty

That at least needs a comma, but I might recommend sticking to one adjective here.

>pace at which you're violating her. Able to now indirectly control her pace

>Your muscles spasm as the orgasm washes over you, gushing fluids onto the back of your floral "victim".

That "gushing" is a dangling participle, as there's no "you" or word for your orifice in this sentence to do the gushing.

>all at once yanking all

>The vines are covered in a large amount of her black "blood" while more drips from her still-gaping hole.

"While" isn't great here, as being covered isn't a process (in this sense of the word).

>as you grab a one of her vines

an old friend (actually, looking forward I see that there's a lot of stuff carried over, so the notes for the last section apply here too)

>Sliding the vine back and forth beneath you a bit

I'd recommend only keeping two out of "back and forth," "beneath you," and "a bit."

>Her vine dances back and forth beneath you

There are a lot of "beneath you"s in this section, and they felt just a little bit repetitive.

>your overly slickened exterior.

Why overly?

>You stand up from your position on top of her before all at once yanking all three from her.

You need something more for "all three" this time, as vine isn't used earlier in the sentence here.


 No.324628

BVA milking notes:

>and you aren't one the shy away

to

>she gives you a smirk, and brings

no comma

>her obsidian appendage snaking across your [hair] and shoulders.

This "across" feels pretty off to me. Consider that the hair and shoulders may be very far apart for some champions.

>you ask what it is you're to be prepared for.

"You should prepare for"? You're not being prepared.

>alruane

au

>[lowerbody]

While you're at it.

>Quickly becoming accustomed to the snug fit, your attention

Dangling participle

>Her hands slide across your [skin], […]. Soon, you feel her soft, white hands

repetition

>She lightly taps her long, black nails around it,

That needs to be a "them" if the player has more than one set of genitals. You can now use [genitalem] for this.

>//#Female someone tell me to do this later. Or volunteer in my stead. I accept either.

Looks like you have another sex scene to write, unless you can get Lesbi to do this one too.

>Despite the minor fight-or-flight rush you get from sharp points tapping your manhood

I would recommend adding a "the" before "sharp," but it's not strictly wrong without it.

>Crossed between her sweet scent and close bodily contact, it doesn't surprise you all that much.

That "crossed" is dangling (or misplaced, can't tell), but I'm also not sure what you meant by it at all. Were you trying to go for something like "stuck between"?

>[if cocks>1 then {them} else {it}]

You can now use [cockem] for this.

>Her hips gyrate, moving around while she shift her legs

"Gyrate" and "move around" are pretty redundant, and it should be "shifts."

>The moment she kisses you, a strange sense of weakness spreads across your body.

"Across" seems odd to me, as that would imply this is just happening at the surface, but you can keep it if you're feeling it.

>[select random fitting cock, if no cock fits, then {She }

Unfinished part.

>She backs her hips

This needs a direction like "up" or "into you."

>She backs her hips and angles the tip of your [cock] against her pussy, sending shivers up your spine. She sinks down, engulfing your member.

More a matter of opinion, but I'm not a big fan of the shortness of that second sentence combined with the fact that it shares a subject with the previous one.

>[select random fitting cock

Did you say what fits at some point earlier? Did you want this size to apply to her other scenes?

>Drug-laced-lips

Remove the second hyphen.

>Incapable of denying her, you comply, begging your mistress to milk you dry.

This is annoying close to being some kinda couplet.

>The moment hits you at last, and you ejaculate

Seems kinda short (the sex part in general, not the orgasm, which I thought was alright).

>You blink, recovering the best you can from the intensity of your orgasm,

Believe it's supposed to be "as best you can," but I can't say with certainty that this is wrong.

>your mistress that you hold so affectionately in your arms.

This would imply that you have multiple mistresses, so you need to specify that you're looking at the one you're holding right now.


 No.324634

Speaking of the Alarune, any ETA on when it'll be added to the game?


 No.324635

>>324634

Soon, that's what's being worked on right now. I just have to edit everything too, as I didn't do it at the time. Don't really want to give an estimate, but it'll probably be the next update.


 No.324639

>>324569

Fixed most. May have created new problems, but I think it should be okay. https://pastebin.com/raw/SSimEXer

>Don't know exactly where to put this, but don't her vines have thorns?

Do they all have thorns? I didn't think they ALL had thorns. I suppose I could be wrong though, I'm honestly not sure.

> I also personally find that "fuck with" always parses as the other meaning for me

I didn't even think of that, though it's something that probably needs input from more people.


 No.324644

>>324639

>Do they all have thorns? I didn't think they ALL had thorns.

Which was why I was saying that you might want to specify that this one was smooth. Going with Satan's retraction suggestion would also work.


 No.324653

>>324644

I gave it just a tiny edit to specify that the one the player character is using has the thorns retracted. I left the ones going inside of her unspecified though, to better allow imagination of exactly how much damage is being done to her insides.


 No.324684

>>324635

Excellent. It'll be good to finally have a plant tf without it being a buggy mess like Revamp's shitty gown.


 No.324690

It's time for my weekly dose, so first request I get, I write. Might end up coming out tomorrow, kinda depends on how into it I am.


 No.324691

File: f25569c606cab39⋯.png (27.3 KB, 303x658, 303:658, Cause You're Too Cute For ….png)

>>324690

Cutting open an alice, pulling out her womb, shoving it down her throat, and throat-fucking her to death


 No.324692

>>324690

loli harpies content


 No.324693

>>324690

Giving a kitsune fuckdraft then tying her up with her genitals exposed, then waiting nearby for an animal come by to fuck her as you watch


 No.324694

>>324693

What is up with you and these fuckdraft requests


 No.324696

>>324690

Bullying any non-loli kitsunes.


 No.324698

>>324691

Alright anon, you've been really trying hard for it, and I recognize the source of that image, so it's not like you don't have me pegged. You won this time.

>>324692

For future reference, this is too nondescript.


 No.324699

>>324698

>For future reference, this is too nondescript.

Simple, just add to camp descriptions to sometimes say, assuming you have a loli harpy, "Your young harpy daughter appears content."

Done. Loli harpy content.


 No.324701

>>324699

Don't be a fucking retard. That's not how these requests fucking work and you know it.


 No.324702

>>324424

>Was that not clear?

It hadn't even occurred to me that it could be about her family, that didn't come through in writing at all.

>Part of the problem is that providing the player the opportunity to be lovey-dovey would mean that I'd also have to write the opposite, and I wasn't sure how to do that without having long-term consequences.

It's safe to assume that if you willingly bring up loving your daughter like that to your lover, chances are you are into lovey-dovey. The scene itself really already dictates that.


 No.324703

File: 11890457e386b80⋯.mp4 (1.3 MB, 476x268, 119:67, rude.mp4)

>>324701

It's how I'd have answered it, and I'm the one that started this requesting shtick.

You also may wish to chill, bucko.


 No.324705

>>324699

This reminds me, I found the following when looking into Kiha's kids:

>Kiha is doing well with her " + (totalKihaChildren() == 1 ? "offspring" : "offsprings") + ". She appears to be breastfeeding her " + (totalKihaChildren() == 1 ? "" : "youngest ") + "offspring."

That's the entire thing.

>>324701

He's joking, anon. This is a no bully thread, your heartless, crude kind are not wanted here.

>>324702

>It hadn't even occurred to me that it could be about her family, that didn't come through in writing at all.

She did bring it up literally the sentence before, but I can make it a bit more explicit.

>It's safe to assume that if you willingly bring up loving your daughter like that to your lover

I mean, you could just be mentioning it offhand or looking for her permission despite not caring about her in that way/more than Dolores. This is not a game where you want to make too many assumptions about the player's feelings/intentions, so I'll add a choice.


 No.324706

>>324705

>That's the entire thing.

There are a few obviously revamp scenes as well, though

>else if (flags[kFLAGS.KIHA_CHILD_MATURITY_COUNTER] == 144 && prison.inPrison)

looks suspicious and I'm not sure they ever are displayed.


 No.324707

>>324706

Sorry, I meant that that single sentence was the entirety of the breastfeeding, not that there weren't other scenes.


 No.324708

Found a weird bug. Ever since i gave one of my parts to the demoness, i can only meditate. Now thats normal. Whats the weird part is that after having the part back cant do anything but meditate and will skip all intercourse. Deleted file, restarted game. Same thing. Deleted game. Same thing. Cleared its cache and restarted. Same thing.

Something got borked.


 No.324716

>>324708

At least you can get the Celibate Hero achievement really easily now.


 No.324727

>2019

>still no Vala impregnation content

It was fucking written. Why is it not added? Same with Tamani companion.


 No.324729

>>324727

Because they weren't written for this mod or posted here.


 No.324731

>>324729

Yeah, but why not add shit that fen was too lazy to


 No.324732

>>324727

>>324731

Was it written for Revamp?


 No.324733

>>324731

Because it wasn't written for this mod or posted here. Who's supposed to proofread and rewrite the hundreds of pages of writing? Who's supposed to code it in? Do you think this is a quick and easy five minute addition? People are working on their own stuff, and if no one takes the initiative, it's not going to get done.


 No.324734

>>324708

That's SFW mode, nothing to do with Ceraph or your genitals.


 No.324737

>>324732

I think so.

>>324733

Fair enough, just sad.


 No.324739

>>324737

>I think so.

Then there's your answer. Enjoy reading your sub-par content in google docs, because it's not getting near this mod unless someone extensively rewrites it which I can almost guarantee you it needs.


 No.324746

>>324739

>unless someone extensively rewrites it which I can almost guarantee you it needs

If it's this, it's not finished and needs a lot of revision, but not complete rewriting. Except all the lore-breaking parts, those need rewriting.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sVX7tgFo9JdtnXwSC3GaGkqBp4wNwYtYZLvdlG0ca5E/

I firmly vote no on any pregnancy content that results in your children vanishing into the aether. There is zero written for your children with Vala, so there's no way in hell the "I think that this project is technically done" note at the top can be considered valid.

Tamani I'm less sure of. Quality is a bit meh from what I've seen, but there's a ton written and I don't even feel like skimming through all of it right now. I don't see anything obviously incomplete though.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tGqFZSDv0IDdUtkh0ahdVwTdXF_pjxtTb21iNHuM5gc/


 No.324753

I found a bug with Sylvia that's causing her affection and dominance stats to disappear and making me restart her route again. I've already restarted twice, the second time after getting the lair, I'm not sure what's causing it exactly but I think it involves using the storage.


 No.324759

>>324746

>Except all the lore-breaking parts, those need rewriting

What are the lore breaking parts, exactly? Aside from Vala fucking people who aren't the Champ.


 No.324760

>>324759

Everything about faerie reproduction and male faeries.


 No.324762

>>324760

Was there any lore on that in the first place?


 No.324763

>>324753

Can you post your save?


 No.324773

File: e8e8c41b34c454b⋯.swf (10.29 KB, Mothbug.swf)

>>324763

Shit, ignore that older file i sent, I should've tested if I could open it first.


 No.324774

File: ee75bb2f46c15b6⋯.swf (10.2 KB, Mothbugearlier.swf)

>>324763

And an earlier save just incase


 No.324869

>>324762

Phouka dialoge has some lore on it i think


 No.324880

>>324746

Ah man what I wouldn't give for the Tamani Waifu.


 No.324882

>>324880

I'll proofread and rework that content to not be shit if you donate to my patreon.


 No.324887

>>324869

I think this predates Phouka.

As said, sounds to me the only rewrite needed is Vala fucking people other than the Champ.


 No.324889

>>324774

Can you give me any more details about what you were doing around the time of the resets/why you think it's related to the storage? Couldn't reproduce it by dicking around in camp.

>>324887

Besides the fact that the faerie codex contains all of that information too, it doesn't matter what predates what, as we'd still need to change the phouka stuff to be consistent if we wanted to go the other way. Whatever we do, something would need to be rewritten.


 No.324890


 No.324904

BVA armor acquisition notes:

>The alraune seems to give you a funny look, undecided as to how to feel about the offer.

Minor thing, but asserting other characters' exact emotions/thoughts doesn't really work in 2nd person perspective, so I recommend adding an "apparently" or something similar to go with the "undecided." The "seems" in the main clause is also a bit odd, as how does someone "seem" to give you a look?

>The vines shimmy away from her backside as a gesture of goodwill

"Backside" means ass, not back. While this can occasionally be used as one word to refer to the literal back side of something, the other meaning is pretty dominant when used with people.

>you crack your knuckles and gaze into [spoiler]

This part was pretty great.

>I'm a little hallow

"Hallow" means "to make holy." If this is a pun, I don't get it, sorry.

>pleasant to the touch. Her hair, too, is silky and pleasantly

mild repetition

>Fluttering your eyes, you try to knock the eerie sensation away and focus on rubbing her shoulders.

I feel like you might want to move some mention of the hole to around here. Dancing around the topic is great, and I like what you're doing, but I feel like you delay the explanation just long enough to be potentially confusing. This is pretty subjective, though.

>This would be relaxing even for you

Why "even for you"? Is the champion supposed to be really high-strung? I'd recommend moving the "even" to after "would."

>Within her is darkness.

I didn't expect "goth plant" to work this well, but you're really nailing it.

>fumbling your [feet] as you go

You can't really "fumble your feet."

>, slipping into the mud.

I think this comma would work significantly better as an "and," but that also depends on what you do with the preceding bit.

>Your senses return to you

When did you lose them?

>delving your [hand] into the hallow wood of the alraune.

"Delve" is intransitive, so it shouldn't take an object. I'm seeing an archaic transitive meaning, but it's "to excavate," which still wouldn't work with "your hand." Also, "hollow" again.

>You wave your [hand] frantically, desperately hoping the root slips away. Pulling on it yields nothing.

I feel like you could use some mention of the success of the waving or at least a better transition into the next sentence.

>body. The shadowy tendrils snake their way [if naked then {over your [skin]} else {into your [armor]}], wrapping around your limbs and body

repetition

>pulls tighter and tighter at you amorphous consistency

Should be "your," but this wording seems kinda awkward to me anyway.

>You stand in shock at first

"Stand in shock" would mean "stand up in shock."

>an relieving sigh

a relieved

>As they set,

I think you need something like an "in place" to make what you mean clear.

>[Next]

I'd recommend not putting a next here, as both parts are very short, and there's no significant time passing.

>You're now covered in obsidian vines, hugging around your assets and tightly rubbing your thighs.

The participles are misplaced. I recommend making this "which hug [and] rub." Also, I'm not sure that you want that "around" there, and how do you rub something tightly?

>you mull what potential value might lie within.

"Mull" is almost always followed by "over" in this usage.

>there seems nothing stopping you.

Missing a "to be" after "seems."

>around until you grasp something around the hips.

Mild repetition, and "around the hips" can parse as where/how you're grasping the "something" here, which is a minor issue.

>so you pull and it tears away easily.

comma after "pull"

Same notes for the repeated part.


 No.324928

>Besides the fact that the faerie codex contains all of that information too, it doesn't matter what predates what, as we'd still need to change the phouka stuff to be consistent if we wanted to go the other way. Whatever we do, something would need to be rewritten.

Surely there must be someone interested in writing stuff for knocking up a shortstack loving fairy.


 No.324930

>>324928

Too big 0/10 if i wanted shortstacks i would fuck goblins


 No.324941

Why do you like bathing this much:

>though Marielle tries to pull you right back in with her heels.

This doesn't fix anything at all, and I guess you do need to make the positioning more clear. You ambush her from behind, and it seems like she's not given any time to react. You made no indication that she turned around, and the earlier comment about only seeing her ass makes no sense if you're doing this from the front. If you are lifting up her thighs from behind, there's no way her feet, let alone her heels, could really be touching her back.

>her torso heaving with needy pants and splayed out flat

Mixing active and passive participles like this is awkward.

>"<i>Uhm… Soap, soap… we will need…</i>" comes from her, more audible.

I was looking back through the branch, and I noticed that you didn't change this to audibly. I need to find a rolled up newspaper or something.

>the scrunched-up towel pressed tight against her flushed face, and her four hands fumbling for anything in reach to clutch around.

No comma, and she is face-down, good to know.

>Heat risen high to your face,

Looking back at stuff again, I noticed this, and "risen high to your face" doesn't work. New addition, or did I miss it?

>the splashing of her dangling legs

Her legs aren't dangling, you're holding them up. Are her knees double jointed? Have you just never seen a real life girl?

>But as incredibly arousing as that sight is, your addled mind wants nothing more than to bring her over the edge.

There's no contrast/disagreement, so neither the "but" nor the "as X as Y is" work.

>into the towel as you ravenously press her into it

repetition

>and her legs lock up behind you

I guess her legs are probably pretty short, but this seems like it would difficult.

>and her feet digging desperately into your back

I'm gonna blow a gasket.

>You slow down, loosen your grip, then finally draw out of her twitching depths with some reluctance and set her hips down.

The "then" here would be pretty awkward without an "and" in any case, but you're also putting it before the penultimate item in this list. Also, Oxford comma (it's been so long, so I have to thank you for this one).

>strength- and breathless

Remove the hyphen.

>and chest is not flat:(your [chest])

Minor thing, but just to make sure you understand how [chest] works, there's no point in calling it if you're excluding players without breasts.

>this was you intention

r This has quickly become my new favorite.

>One may believe so, yes…

So she's saying she doesn't? Why wouldn't she?

Short one, sue me.


 No.324986

Is there anyplace to gather stone naturally? I get that upgrading the camp is kind of just a time/money sink but buying stone gets crazy expensive.


 No.324988

>>324986

town ruins for the fast way, phylla for the slow


 No.324991

>>324988

Thanks, i never think of checking the town ruins after i nab the racks.


 No.325094

File: 949d18710392aff⋯.jpg (3.67 MB, 5592x4438, 2796:2219, 3a40bed44500fd47047d0d2bea….jpg)

>>324941

>This doesn't fix anything at all, and I guess you do need to make the positioning more clear.

I suppose I do, there are some word choices I didn't intend that aren't exactly helpful, but I also don't see why you're struggling with the foot/heel on your back bit. You do realise knee joints are a thing, right? Pic related is more or less it, and it would be easy to leg lock someone from there.

>No comma

Wait, are you telling me to get rid of an Oxford comma?

>"risen high to your face" doesn't work. New addition, or did I miss it?

Must have missed it, but why would it not work? "Heat rising to someone's face" is pretty standard, and the "high" just gives it a bit more intensity.

>Remove the hyphen.

Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure that when omitting common parts of words like this in all but the last item, the preceding ones need a hyphen to indicate the omission, unless those words wouldn't be written together anyway and would need no hyphen to form a compound. "She was already hot in elementary and middle school" versus "He's fond of all kinds of cars—both old- and youngtimers".

>just to make sure you understand how [chest] works

Is there ever a chance of it returning something like "flat chest"? That's what I wanted to avoid, since it would sound bad here.

>This has quickly become my new favourite

I'll keep missing that R key then, just for your.


 No.325098

>>325094

>I suppose I do, there are some word choices I didn't intend that aren't exactly helpful, but I also don't see why you're struggling with the foot/heel on your back bit. You do realiZe knee joints are a thing, right? Pic related is more or less it, and it would be easy to leg lock someone from there.

Aha, I anticipated this response, but you wrote

>you hook your arms under her legs

which is nothing like that position. Also, that position wouldn't really work all that well on a ledge.

>Wait, are you telling me to get rid of an Oxford comma?

Whoops, must have misread the first part as an independent clause.

>"Heat rising to someone's face" is pretty standard, and the "high" just gives it a bit more intensity.

"Heat rising" is standard, "heat risen" is not (I could see "having risen," but yours doesn't work well at all, as it's passive), and "high" doesn't do that, it makes it sound dumb, that's what it does. Be careful with more idiomatic/metaphoric usages, they often can't be messed with much.

>unless those words wouldn't be written together anyway and would need no hyphen to form a compound.

This isn't a compound, "strengthless" doesn't have a hyphen, and I'm a bit confused by your logic here, as words not being written together are the ones that do take hyphens (sometimes). They literally cannot take a hyphen if they're written together as one word, that's just not possible.

>"He's fond of all kinds of cars—both old- and youngtimers".

If that's an actual quote from something, go ahead, but it looks super awful to me.

>Is there ever a chance of it returning something like "flat chest"? That's what I wanted to avoid, since it would sound bad here.

It returns "chest" if you don't have tits. If you're already excluding that case, you can just use [breasts] (or a synonym). Not a problem or anything, just making sure you know what things do.

>I'll keep missing that R key then, just for your.

Oh, I like it both ways.


 No.325102

>>325098

>Be careful with more idiomatic/metaphoric usages, they often can't be messed with much.

A fact I lament. My mother tongue is a lot more lenient with those, and I frankly don't see the need to be strict.

>and I'm a bit confused by your logic here

It's a common enough convention across a variety of languages, English included. Never seen that?

http://www.sussex.ac.uk/informatics/punctuation/hyphenanddash/hyphen Refer to the very bottom.

>It returns "chest" if you don't have tits

Never anything with "flat", even with high femininity? Then I can just leave it out.


 No.325103

File: 27404e16f155a78⋯.png (268.67 KB, 680x307, 680:307, satanalreadyusedthisbutiml….png)

I'm about to deliver

https://pastebin.com/SVqyxvkh

There you are, one womb deepthroating hot and fresh. Hope you enjoy it, I was debating making it a shitpost until the very end, but I went with an actual scene (although I suppose it may never be able to shake that label). Should probably read over this in the morning, not sure I nailed the flow.

>>325102

>It's a common enough convention across a variety of languages, English included. Never seen that?

I haven't, but the logic was referring to your statement (which didn't quite make sense), not the convention. In any case, I see what you mean, and you've swayed me, even if that is a limey source.


 No.325105

File: a660b41bc1f8683⋯.png (1.6 MB, 2840x2241, 2840:2241, y5nql9qkqpl21[1].png)

>>325103

Absolutely disgusting. To me at least, but it's well written. I sort of feel as though she probably should've perished sooner though, definitely shouldn't last as long as she does there. I gotta say though, the actual fucking part itself, made me feel just a bit like vomiting. Only other stuff to have that effect on me has be en the plague rats. Overall, a well done scene (though one that I think VERY few people will actually enjoy beyond the quality of the writing itself).


 No.325106

>>325105

That's a wonderful moth, and it's going right in my collection. I do wonder how many people actually enjoy these things.


 No.325113

>>325103

That's pretty fucked up m8 but i guess guro fans will enjoy it.


 No.325123

>>325103

Pretty good. Murder rape is always fun, those damn alices should have known better than to be so cute.


 No.325129

>>325103

>Whatever hopes the Alice had of getting off with just being violated

This made me stumble a bit, more precisely the "getting of with". I suppose you mean it as getting off the hook, but the other meaning of getting off made as much, if not more sense to me, and that one needs an "on" instead.

>almost instantly coated in blood, and it's slick enough that you almost

Repetition.

>from your armor

Parser.

>as your clit rubs against her little nose

>lean forward, one hand finding support on her diminutive chest

Wait what's the position here? It sounded like you were straddling her from the front and holding her head up until this.

Cute scene, but one thing I found odd was the complete lack of dialogue.


 No.325131

>>325129

>Cute scene

Look man I don't care HOW into guro someone is, that ain't "cute". Nice, maybe. Hot, maybe. Good, maybe. But cute?

Speaking of cute though, option to cuddle with her corpse afterwards when?


 No.325136

File: 37a92779e7029d3⋯.jpg (1.34 MB, 821x1171, 821:1171, 5ee15ed846e8c2ee4cad5de4d0….jpg)

>>325131

Little girls bleeding out from damage to their reproductive tract is almost the textbook definition of cute


 No.325147

File: 6b27265bbc48c89⋯.jpg (686.7 KB, 1607x1080, 1607:1080, stillnotdone.jpg)

https://pastebin.com/QSjRW0HE

It's been so long since I've last posted an update to Marielle that I forgot what's even new here. Probably the entire BoobPlay option with all its suboptions. I should have just stopped when I could.


 No.325148

>>325136

Ah but there is the flaw in your logic. She's not a little girl, she only looks like one. Easy mistake to make.


 No.325170

>>325148

if it looks like a little girl then it is a little girl


 No.325171

>>325147

what's with all those feminity checks?

She has to be interested in a male with dick after all


 No.325172

>>325131

Yeah nah, guro should go in the same bin as NTR, they're both fucking revolting.


 No.325175

>>325171

You're right, what a silly oversight.


 No.325202

>>325129

>but the other meaning of getting off made as much, if not more sense to me, and that one needs an "on" instead.

Yes, which is why it cannot be parsed as that meaning, which is why it's fine as-is.

>Wait what's the position here? It sounded like you were straddling her from the front and holding her head up until this.

Don't know how I forgot to include the positioning. Doing it from the front would be really awkward, but it just slipped my mind to actually describe your movements.

>one thing I found odd was the complete lack of dialogue.

Also amended, thanks.

Looking back, I just realized I didn't even finish writing the tooltip.


 No.325207

>>322474

Hey yall, how do I manipulate the character stats? I want to fuck everything I see but at level 1 i just get rekt by imps.


 No.325208

>>325207

>git

>gud


 No.325209

>>325207

>yall

>how do I play the game? I want to fuck everything I see but am too dumb to even play a text-based game.

Lurk more, faggot.


 No.325210

>>325209

>spending genuine time levelling up a character in a porn game


 No.325211

>>325210

>playing a porn game instead of looking at porn

Play it or look at the shit on literotica. Don't pick a porn game if the game part bothers you. There are much easier ways to get your rocks off


 No.325212

>>325211

good point


 No.325214

>>325207

use the save editor or enable debug mode and type debug anywhere


 No.325222

Im still mad they removed all the incest from tits

guess its back to playing CoC


 No.325223

>>325222

Blame the credit card companies.


 No.325226

>>325223

and not even a mod or a patch to put that shit back in

this is bullshit


 No.325228

>>325226

Yeah there is, you would just have to go to /f/ now that that faggot BOOBS guy fucked off back where he belongs.


 No.325230

BVA miniquest notes:

>that you have some brutally tight vine riding up your ass

"Vines" or change the "some" to "a."

>that you ripped a piece of root out of an alraune and her vines are now adhered to your [skin] like it's a part of you.

You should generally keep using the "that" if you use it once, so put on after "and." Also, [skin] gives the adjective and tone as well, which doesn't seem great here ([skinshort]'s probably what you want, but I recommend looking into the skin parsers to make sure). Also also, it should be "they're," not "it's."

>This talented and dedicated mystic doesn't know? Really? Surely there's something [arianhe] can do!

This is basically direct dialogue, and it's a bit too exasperated/incredulous where it's not necessarily warranted.

>Oh pious and pure monk, would he by chance know any such remedy for this corruption that plagues your flesh? It's starting to chafe.

You can't use vocatives (i.e., direct addresses) in third person (only in second person), and this is once again too direct/flavorful.

>shifting nervously at the sight of all the bare [skin] on display.

This [skin] also doesn't seem like it'd fit. I'd recommend [skinfurscales] here.

>studying the vines in detail while it's not framing the view of your [genitals].

they're

>pro-active

no hyphen

>You go over the gist of what transpired, and how your new outfit is fused to your flesh.

I recommend no comma

>It burns and causes aches all over, leaving you very winded.

"Causes aches" is kinda awkward, and I don't see how that would wind you. Even with the general fatigue buildup, it'd be odd to just suddenly be completely out of breath.

>That alraune was probably always too scared of me to show her no-good face!"

This reflects the old single alraune version (the next paragraph, too). There are a few times where you use "the alraune" throughout, and most of them makes sense as referring to the specific one that you got the vines from, but you might want to go through them to be sure.

>The alraune is a mostly stationary plant and Kiha is

comma after "plant"

>that is quick to anger by anybody but you.

"Quick to anger" can't take anything like "by."

>asking me for medical advice?" she asks

mild repetition

>'Medical', you ponder, conjuring thoughts of diseases and infections. You aren't going to die, are you?

"Ponder" is pretty bad here.

>Look, I'll remove it then!

Probably "them" again. You never to my knowledge use a singular noun to refer to the vines, and definitely not in this scene.

>Maybe asking illusory magicians

"Illusory" doesn't really make sense, as she herself is not an illusion.

>"It's probably nothing and you worry too much."

comma after "nothing," and I might recommend actually making this a comma splice (much as that pains me to say).

>you decide, as you turn and walk off into the woods.

no comma

>Either it works and your problem is solved or it doesn't and you don't have to follow the lecherous fox.

A very odd conundrum where I'd recommend a comma after "solved" but not separating the other clauses. A bit weird when you lay it out like that, but I think it's correct.

>taking a deep breathe

-e

>Yet again, she yanks.

You really have a knack for humor in these kinds of scenes, I must say.

>but it is largely second-hand.

Normally I would recommend "they are," but this is speech, and that's an understandable/not infrequent error to make (although he is supposed to be a smart character).

>he speaks further,

Period, as that is not a dialogue tag.

>"Of what I can gather is that it

This isn't worded correctly. I'm guessing you were going for something like, "From what I can gather, it […]" but what you have right now is a real word jumble.

>Shouldra appears to have been thinking of something else. Contrary to these thoughts,

I assume "these thoughts" is meant to refer to the player's assumption, but you just mentioned Shouldra "thinking," so it gets a bit muddy, which you don't want.


 No.325250

File: ae9f13188d25fcf⋯.jpg (124.35 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, simon.jpg)

Hey OtherCoCAnon, are new weapon requests\edits on the table? There is already a pretty great selection and variety for most types, but I thought about roleplaying as a member of the Belmont clan sent to banish the demon queen Lethice back to hell the other day and realized that my only primary offense options are a shitty leather whip and two demonic ones that will slowly steal my soul.

And while I don't mind carrying a stack of wingsticks with me and the Paladin background does help a lot in terms of damage, I still waste too much time with trash mobs. The special whip trick attack is also pretty underwhelming compared to other mastery skills since it rarely works and when it does, it's impact is barely noticeable.

Can we get a purchasable\lootable in the cathedral Chain whip with ten attack as an alternative to the succubi one and have a way for the Gargoyle to purify the Lethice one into something that won't give me half a corruption point every time I strike an imp with one? I can even write those interactions myself if I have to.

Buff or redesign whip trick too please. Something like Lamia's coil would make sense thematically, except it would deal damage every turn while keeping the target restrained by choking it instead of raising lust and would consume fatigue each turn until the target breaks out or you run out.

Or make it like a reverse spear's charge where you entangle the target from distance\air and drag them close\down to the ground while dealing damage.


 No.325252

>>325250

Is cuck shit totally removed yet?

If so, how can I donate $ to this project.


 No.325253

>>325228

thats a relief

still sad that syri is never going to fuck arnor now

>>325252

I dont remember much cuckshit from CoC, I think Urta could fuck the mouse girl but I dont remember, what else is there?


 No.325256

>>325250

I don't know if you're new here or what, but yes, any submission of sufficient quality can be implemented. OCA hasn't been particularly active for the last several months, but someone will get around to it in time. The whips will be rebalanced with everything else when Koraeli works on combat somewhere down the road, but you're free to make a more powerful one or whatever in the meantime.

>>325252

If you're referring to the Helia stuff, it'll most likely be gone next patch.


 No.325263

Any compatible image packs?


 No.325266

>>325263

I need an image pack compatible with stables content.


 No.325267

>>325266

you may need to make one then friend, there is no image pack made for this mod.


 No.325268

is there an archive of all the new/changed stuff that this mod has?

has anything been done with ember?


 No.325269

>>325263

>>325266

>>325268

Fuck off back to where you came from, you limp-brained faggots.


 No.325272

>>325268

In-game credits button has hgg section.

>>325266

Go to e621, hentaifoundry, sankaku, or pixiv, and search "bestiality"

>>325263

Neck yourself.


 No.325274

File: dd5974ab4b68c01⋯.gif (953.11 KB, 330x300, 11:10, 9qQiFLx.gif)

>can't have ember with both a dragon dick and balls


 No.325280

BVA cunny licking notes:

>[Cunnilingus]

You might want to give this a tooltip, as the rest of the sex options have one.

>Ready to partake, strip off your [armor], crawl forward and dive in.

This is a fragment (I assume there's just a missing "you").

>your common sense tells you

An odd case, but "common sense" is generally used without a possessive like this.

>as the smell

Third "smell" in pretty quick succession. "Aroma" for one of them?

>thighs while planting a series of delicate kisses on her inner thigh

>as your head works its way to your destination.

I might recommend "its destination," but it's not a big deal.

>[tongue] to deliver a long, slow lick from bottom to top of her vulva, her body giving just the slightest tremble as your tongue

Although tongue synonyms are often a pain to think of.

>as she speaks in a seductive tone "<i>Ooh, what a nice plaything.

Normally you'd need a comma before the dialogue, but "speak" isn't a proper dialogue tag, so you'd put a period there, but you can also make is "says" or whatever and go with a comma.

>With Vines?

Lowercase, and you probably want a "her" there.

>vines begin to slide along your body. Before you can fully process what's happening, the vines

This one is a pretty borderline case, so you can definitely keep it if you want. The following two paragraphs each have three instances though, so I'd definitely recommend switching those up a bit.

>tips prod and roll around at your [nipples].

While, "prod at" is fine, the "at" doesn't work with "roll around," and "prod" is fine on its own, so I recommend removing "at."

>you feel a lash of a vine whip your back.

Make the first "a" into a "the."

>to know the wind out of you

knock (unless the scene is just operating on a deeper level of understanding)

>your body, this time wrapping around your thighs and ass. Tightly holding your body

>vines, she chuckles and tickles your [ass] with the tips of her vines

>as she speaks in a taunting voice, "<i>Now, my little plaything,

I'd again recommend "says" or another actual dialogue tag.

>only for you to repeat it as a second vine enters you

Repeat what? There's not a clear antecedent, so you'd need something like "your motion" if you're referring to the tongue press.

>is completely filled and squeezing at them.

I find the switch from passive to active participles a tad awkward. You could consider making the "and" a comma and then maybe adding in an adverb or something for "squeezing," but it's not a big problem if you like what you have.

>it's time for you to return the favor, as well as properly indulging in her deliciously sweet nectar.

It would have to be "as well as to properly indulge in," but that's super awkward, so I think you'll have to move some stuff around.

>[Next] (if the length makes it necessary)

Not at all, you only have three paragraphs on either side. Satan tends to use [next]s a little bit more liberally than other authors, if that's your baseline, so feel free to go on for a bit without one (as long as it's not like 20 paragraphs or something).

>lips from her clit and instead begin massaging it with your fingers. Lowering your lips,

>and instead begin massaging it with your fingers. […] you eagerly massage

>Delighting in the unique flavor of her feminine fluids, you eagerly massage her inner walls. Soon having her moaning in delight, you feel a lash of pain against your back.

The structures of these two sentences being the exact same is a bit repetitive, and the "having" is a bit awkward anyway.

>her delicious fluids gushing onto your mouth

It'd be "into," right?


 No.325281

>>325280 (cont.)

>soon also delivering a lash to your back.

This is the third time you're describing it as a "lash."

>And despite her intense vine-fucking of you,

This "of you" is pretty awkward, and it already works without anything there.

>Your back stinging, she soon follows up with second lash,

Another lash.

>she shows no signs of slowing down, "<i>By the way

That one is definitely not a dialogue tag, so make that a period.

>done kind of girl. You're done

This one felt pretty mild, so keep it if you like. I think I might be getting more sensitive to these in your writing than I should be, and it's dialogue.

>Bound, whipped, and fucked the way you are,

I'd associate the status of being "fucked" as being "screwed"/"in a bad situation." Fucking is a process, so the past participle used like this usually implies a complete fucking sometime in the past, which usually makes more sense as the metaphoric meaning (if any of that even made any sense).

>onto her vines and onto your thighs

I'm pointing this out as one I actually like, in case you would otherwise change it.

>you continue on this way

I recommend adding an "in" after "on" to remove the ambiguity.

>you fully given in to being used in such an enjoyable way.

This isn't really going to work well as an absolute construction, so I recommend making it a full clause (e.g., "and you fully give in").

>vines loosening from your body as well. And finally, her vines

>fun, you remove your girlcum-soaked face from her crotch and look up at her. "<i>Well now wasn't that fun?

>before speaking in a perkier tone than she has up to this point, "<i>Nice

Another improper tag.

>you stand up and re-dress,

Naked degenerates, don't forget about them.

>You press your head against her and bite her erect clit as hard as you can.

I was about to say that it's a bit odd that you can escape here when you can't normally, but Jesus Christ, go ahead.

>black sap-like "blood"

comma after "black"

>and onto your mouth,

"Into" again, or you could go with "lips," "face," etc.

>and relax her vines on you.

You would need something like "her vines' hold/grip" to justify the "on you."

>back on before heading back

As a note, I really like the intro/smell stuff here, good stuff.


 No.325283

So why did they remove Isabella babies? I checked the previous thread but they seemed to be talking about Jojo rather than isabella.


 No.325285

>>325283

They didn't, they changed cow kids to human babies, because isabella isn't truly bovine


 No.325312

>>325285

alright cool thanks for clarifying


 No.325314

>>325312

For further clarification, she normally birthed human babies anyway, but there was an option to give her lethicite to change that, which makes no sense.


 No.325318

>>325274

Where are you getting that? As long as Ember has a dick, he also has balls, no matter what.


 No.325327

>>325318

that's not true

if she's only fed blood once she doesn't have external balls

her having them in her intro text is an error


 No.325329

>>325327

>internal balls aren't balls

They're still there, just hidden most of the time. Would you say that dragon-dicked Ember also doesn't have a penis? That's internal just like the balls are.


 No.325330

>>325329

are they ever brought up in the scenes she has?

also what's the point of balls if they aren't always hanging out to play with


 No.325334

>>325330

>what's the point of balls

Sperm production. This is basic biology, man.

Hormones too.


 No.325335

>>325330

>are they ever brought up in the scenes she has?

Yes, they come out whenever Ember is fully aroused. But they're rarely mentioned even if they're completely external. The writer just doesn't seem that into balls.


 No.325341

>>325335

well I can't decide if I want the dragon dick/balls on her or not


 No.325351

Am I missing something or is the corrupted dryad pointless? Did someone just have a splinter fetish or something?


 No.325352

>>325351

If you have a vagina but no dick you can make her eat you out, I think. Why characters with dicks AND vaginas can't get that scene is a mystery to me.


 No.325361

>>325351

>>325352

Good thing that awful quality dryad and dick splinter shit will be replaced by the Black Velvet Alraune.

The forest gown will also receive a replacement via the new Black Velvet Alraune, but I think it's distinct enough that it should get a bunch of bug fixes and be left in the game unlike the dryad, here's to hoping.


 No.325362

>>325351

It is pointless. It and the items associated with it are being removed in the next update


 No.325366

>>325253

Urta and Katherine if you're in a relation ship with Urta before getting Katherine into the guard


 No.325371

>>325361

>but I think it's distinct enough that it should get a bunch of bug fixes and be left in the game

The description is trash, the effects are lame, benefits are none. What is it providing? To me, it seems to do absolutely nothing distinct besides things that are just flaws in design.

>>325366

I don't remember that. I don't doubt you, but i don't remember this. What happens?


 No.325376

>>325202

>Yes, which is why it cannot be parsed as that meaning, which is why it's fine as-is.

Yes, but I initially parsed it as such anyway. Just like with your earlier complaint about "stoked", it doesn't really make sense to read it that way, but the colloquial usage of "get off" is prevalent enough that using something else instead is preferred, unless it's entirely unambiguous by context.

>Also amended, thanks.

I'd go for a second round of begging somewhere. I love people's mortified utterances on the verge of their deaths.


 No.325379

>>325371

>The description is trash

I can't not agree on that.

>What is it providing? To me, it seems to do absolutely nothing distinct besides things that are just flaws in design.

Unlike the Black Velvet Alraune one it's a voluntary and more nature oriented experience compared to the hostile and parasitic nature of the Black Velvet stuff.

In that sense the end result is different enough to at least warrant a pass as content to go up on the bounty board or something, right?


 No.325380

>>325362

Wait, can't the item stay without the effects? I like the idea of a floral outfit made of actual flora, especially if it stops trying to erase my dick.


 No.325424

>>325376

>Just like with your earlier complaint about "stoked", it doesn't really make sense to read it that way, but the colloquial usage of "get off" is prevalent enough that using something else instead is preferred, unless it's entirely unambiguous by context.

It is entirely unambiguous by context. The very next word locks it into the single, correct, intended meaning, and I doubt anyone will be anything but momentarily confused (the few that are an unfortunate casualty). Your issue was that the single word was too strongly associated with a slang meaning, but in this case, the secondary reading isn't significantly stronger than the one I want, and there's no possible ambiguity as to what's going on.

>I'd go for a second round of begging somewhere. I love people's mortified utterances on the verge of their deaths.

You got it, chief.

>>325380

What would the source of the item be? The dryad is getting shit-canned.


 No.325425

>>325379

>>325380

Honestly guys

New items require at least a short questline to get added

Something like outfit made from plants requires at least a short dungeon and a very good explanation for plants still being alive, not to mention why would someone create it

And no, the creator liking the aesthetics or being bored isn't good reason


 No.325431

>>325280

>>325281

Thanks for all that, I believe I fixed everything https://pastebin.com/raw/EvCCbr1v


 No.325468

>>325424

It sort of sounds like something you can get from Marae or maybe Fera. I remember something about learning druid magic from Marae so it may fit in with that. Is the druid stuff in the game and if not is it dead?


 No.325474

>>325468

Your ideas sound terrible. Marae druidism stuff is dead, yeah, the writer hasn't been around for like 6 months


 No.325478

>>325468

How would you get it from Marae? She's not a dress dispensary, why would she have it? And I don't really see Fera just giving you stuff ever. Druid stuff is probably dead, but he might be back, he's taken long breaks before.


 No.325488

>>325478

Don't know. Those two are the only one's I can think of that can do shit with plants.


 No.325491

>>325488

Actually the forest gown is being kept, if you look into black velvet's lootables:

Rummaging through her things, you find some old earthy gown of grass and twigs. It's rather cheap-looking, clearly not well-designed at all. Recognizing garbage for what it is, you toss it.


 No.325619

With things getting removed, can Priscilla be removed too? Her writing is bad and it seems she can pop up anywhere with no way to avoid her besides just not leveling up.


 No.325629

Question for coders, would it be possible to alter ovipositors so that they have their own body "slot" instead of taking up the tail? Sometimes I think it might be nice to have both a tail and an ovipositor.


 No.325631

>>325629

Anything is possible, but it probably won't happen. That would be a lot of effort for such a niche benefit.


 No.325632

>>325619

No, she's the best character in the mod. Just look at this.

>"MMMMmmmm!" Priscilla moans, dining on your snatch. You laugh to yourself thinking about for someone who doesn’t like pussy, she sure loves the taste. You grind and rub on Priscilla’s face. She licks and sucks, moving faster and faster as she slurps on your juices as you quiver and gyrate. You smush Priscilla’s face as hard as you could. Eventually with a scream you paint Priscilla’s with your juices. Shaking all over her. You slowly pull up over her. Priscilla has a wide smile on her face, as if your pussy juices were a new ale she’s drunk on.

This has to be preserved for future generations.


 No.325685

>tfw CoCEdit will never be updated


 No.325697

>>325685

>tfw the cucks will never stop complaining about CoCEdit

I don't think there's anything wrong with people using the debug to hack themselves to whatever they wish, but there's a running theme where exclusively cucks just use CoCEdit and complain, despite the fact CoCEdit works fine anyway.

If you really must, it isn't that complicated to update, here's the instructions

<Take a rope

<No, not twine, that's fagshit.

<Yeah, a real rope. Okay, I admit we can settle for less, but I think less of you for it. It should at least be 3 feet long

<Place the rope on a flat surface in the shape of the letter "C"

<Form an "S" shape with the rope. Leave the lead of the rope (the bottom part of the "S") long

<Compress the "S" shape until all three rows of rope are nearly on top of each other, with only a few inches in between them

<Pinch the three lines of rope together in the middle

<Take the top of the original "C" and wrap it around the pinched space. Wrap it from the right side to the left, leaving about three to four inches of the rope unwrapped. You should be left with a loop and a string on the left end, and just a loop on the right end

<Poke the end of the rope through the top of the loop left by the "S"

<Use your thumb to hold down the short piece of rope that you just worked through the loop on the left-hand side so it bends over the loop.

<Pull the loop on the right-hand side until it closes the loop on the left. If this part of the loop begins to pull on the free rope instead of the loop, pull on the other side

<Adjust it until the coils look nice and tight and the loop is the size of your head

>>>>Neck yourself


 No.325704

>>325697

"neck yo self before you cuck yo self"


 No.325707

He's not wrong though. Between the editor and the debug wand – which the editor can give you, btw –, you've got plenty of options for min/maxing your char from the get-go. People are just bitching about it to bitch.


 No.325710

>>325707

>–,

What the fuck is this, anon? What do you think you're doing?


 No.325711

>>325707

Who's not wrong? Who are you even trying to respond to?


 No.325823

File: 86fec0f787bf456⋯.jpg (55.29 KB, 842x699, 842:699, 3694.jpg)

Rewrote small portions and added a variant for dick-too-big to the black velvet milking. And to the anon that said I don't do climaxes well, I've attempted to improve it.

>>324569

I read the first line and spent 2 minutes looking for where I put that scene before realizing "Oh, shit, I didn't write that one."

That's kind of on me for forgetting which ones I did or didn't do after only a month.

Brain is churning away at a snail's pace right now. Not getting anywhere on the next scene. Time to force it. First request I get, I write.

Definitely going on hiatus for a while after this week.


 No.325825

>>325823

Akky-cat playing with a child of your choice


 No.325826

File: 33847bc3740907c⋯.jpg (42.9 KB, 561x369, 187:123, 16330327_p0.jpg)

>>325825

Do you people just want to go easy on me lately or are small and cute scenes really what you're looking for?


 No.325827

>>325826

I remember you being tired of sex scenes, and I do love cute things.


 No.325829

>>325826

>easy

Well if you want something that isn't cute stuff, I'd be happy to see a stallion piss drink / blow job.


 No.325834

File: 5d56d114c1410ba⋯.jpg (80.18 KB, 643x800, 643:800, 9a9c5e5cfbded4c503acbd6e46….jpg)

>>325826

I think you underestimate the amount of people that are into cute stuff as well as wholesome (non lewd) child content.


 No.325837

>>325823

Does that mean you went through the milking notes?

>>325834

I like moths, but that image is just upsetting.


 No.325843

File: 1f97a25bf91de13⋯.jpg (375.87 KB, 774x1102, 387:551, 63205061_p0.jpg)

>>325827

Suit yourself. I appreciate the consideration, though it isn't necessary.

Jaguar Attacks Small Bird

https://pastebin.com/QymLMCDA

>>325829

I'm impressed someone has managed to come up with an idea even I would just say no to.

>>325837

>Does that mean you went through the milking notes?

The proofreader who gave the notes already knows, but yes. He and I talked about it, and surely you're not him, suffering from mild amnesia.


 No.325845

>>325843

>surely you're not him

We're all amnesiacs today.


 No.325847

>>325843

>I'm impressed someone has managed to come up with an idea even I would just say no to.

That hurts man.


 No.325848

File: f4139cf0fcc14a6⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 35.13 KB, 300x460, 15:23, 69ddc0bd7172610fdc2806e749….jpg)

>>325843

>I'm impressed someone has managed to come up with an idea even I would just say no to.

Bestiality's fine but you draw the line when it includes watersports?


 No.325855

File: dde5812588d347d⋯.png (92.03 KB, 548x529, 548:529, City Love Games (Non Non B….png)

>>325848

I've written watersports too, multiple times. That scenario's just garbage.

Drinking piss from a horse is revolting, and I think less of you for liking it.


 No.325857

File: 22fcce378b4d678⋯.png (177.79 KB, 356x635, 356:635, forever alone.png)

one-off helspawn scene for turning your daughter into a incestuous slut and then ignoring her: https://pastebin.com/H7H8sLKc

The poor girl needs content, not that this is much.


 No.325859

>>325855

BVA kill notes:

>as her bark interior

Bark isn't general on the inside. You wouldn't say "skin interior."

>and swing it against her

Probably "at."

>A swift and heavy lunge of your [weapon] sinks brutally into the alraune's neck,

Your punch just sunk into her neck? She has normal skin there, and normal skin doesn't do that when punched.

>sundering some flower petals in the process.

Your punch made petals split into pieces? What?

>body. Though her body

repetition

>You swing your [weapon] squarely onto her skull,

into

>The skull of the alraune splits in two with enough force that both sides fling sideways.

And you called 2hu over the top.

>you stroll around their body.

her?

>This alraune fought bravely, they deserve an honorable death.

I guess if you're consciously using "they," it's fine, but why?

>You command her to rise,

But whatever you decide, probably don't switch between them.

>from the sheathe

-e

>From the Earth she came, to the Earth she returns.

You don't capitalize it unless you're referring to the planet.

>}]

I noticed you doing this in a previous paste as well. Why are you putting this on a new line?

>of what you surmise to be the remnant of her brain.

Probably "remnants."

I've never actually said this, as it's not really a problem you can look up specific solutions to, but you misuse prepositions somewhat frequently. Verbs often want specific prepositions that they generally go with, and using others can be extremely awkward.


 No.325862

File: c7e83a8654d99c5⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 763.18 KB, 700x700, 1:1, __vivian_james_4chan_drawn….png)

>>325855

>for liking it

Definitely wouldn't say that at all. Asking about your boundaries when it comes to writing certainly definitely doesn't mean enjoying drinking horse piss. That stuff's a big ol' nope.


 No.325867

>>325862

Then it goes out as a general statement.

My boundaries vary by mood, in that if I'm in the mood for it, I may make a shitpost instead of just saying no. There are plenty of things I'm not all that into, but do still write. My only limits are

- Scat

- Vore(unless it's in pieces, with chewing sensible bitesized portions at a time.)

- Piss from a man or animal (Futas, like Urta, included)

- Vomit

Beyond that, I can do whatever. The man on man ham slam, the girl on girl clam jam, the elderly, the young, so on. I don't have to like it, and I shouldn't limit myself to what I like either. Just fair warning that I may be a little rough on getting things right when I don't get what's appealing about it.

Telly is more an example of what you get when I'm just writing what I like. Another portion of just the things I like would be the angel, but I'm not writing her until after my hiatus, when I'm all recharged.


 No.325868

>>325855

It's fair to have limits, and I'll try to avoid pushing them in the future if I happen to be lucky enough to catch your openings for rando requests. However it feels a bit weird to have found them via a request one thought would be acceptable.

Out of curiosity, how much stuff as far as your limits go do you got figured out in your head beyond stuff that's OOC or beast+ws? Or is it just, "I'll know I hate it when i see it"


 No.325871

>>325867

BVA codex notes:

Might want to mention the whole flower hair thing at the top.

>Alraune are floral humanoids that sprout from large, flowering bases–often serving as a quick way to discern one subspecies from another.

"Serving" is misplaced, as it modifies "alraune" here. You could go with "which often serve." The lack of a comma or dash would also make this modify "bases," but that would be a bit awkward.

>Their skin is typically similar to flexible green stalk, wood, or completely human.

"Similar to completely human" doesn't work, and can "stalk" be used as a mass/uncountable noun like this? I feel like it can't, but I could be wrong, or it could be something that varies by dialect.

>Due to the significant need for nutrients

Probably "their."

>one-another

no hyphen

>and much other plant-life will struggle to grow too close.

Probably "most."

>The discovery of these locations can be a beautiful sight

Very pedantic, but the discovery itself isn't a beautiful sight. Also, I would recommend a comma after "sight."

>The plant-girls may vary greatly by the environment and level of corruption in the soil.

You might want to specify what exactly they vary in (e.g., temperament or whatever).

>If at all possible, one may wish

Those don't really go together (especially in this sentence). It's always possible to wish to do something, and the strength of the suggestion in each doesn't match.

>The common factors are a need for water, nutrients, and sunlight.

Factors in what? How dangerous they are? I don't see the connection, and the phrasing doesn't work great for that anyway.

>the alraune often form a mutualistic relationship that varies depending on the specific pollinator in question.

Probably pluralize "relationship" (and make the related changes alongside that). Some of these suggestions are a bit more nit-picky than normal, but the codices are written in a higher register.

>Marae/Fera Alraune: Unlikely to ever be used, but theoretically possible. If done, it must rest upon an existing piece of the goddess's root system.

I'm a bit confused, as you seem to imply in the origin section that all alraune come from Marae's roots.

>Vore(unless it's in pieces, with chewing sensible bitesized portions at a time.)

Yeah but that hellmouth scene.


 No.325874

>>325867

>- Vore(unless it's in pieces, with chewing sensible bitesized portions at a time.

Wouldn't that count as cannibalism rather than vore then? Isn't a big part of vore downing it all at once like a snake?

>Futas, like Urta, included)

What if the piss is coming from their female urethra rather than the male one?

>>325871

>Yeah but that hellmouth scene.

Well the Hellmouth mouths are more like portals, no? It's not like the player's getting ACTUALLY eaten.


 No.325877

>>325874

I was under the impression that full-package futa had only the male half of their junk loadout having a line to the bladder.


 No.325881

>>325877

Futa aren't real, but if they were, the opposite would make more sense. Otherwise, what purpose would the female urethra have? The male urethra could still be used for glazing the donuts if the female was used, but the other way around gives you a vestigial orifice.


 No.325882

File: c244a501e891e97⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 90.95 KB, 850x601, 850:601, __original_drawn_by_missil….jpg)

>>325877

I see no reason to see why that would be the case, it makes no sense either. It just seems like basically everyone prefers someone with a penis doing the peeing. Which baffles me, personally. You seriously wouldn't BELIEVE how difficult it is to find futa watersports where the penis isn't used. Not that that's anything I go looking for really (when it comes to that I 100% prefer vagina only).


 No.325883

>>325882

>You seriously wouldn't BELIEVE how difficult it is to find futa watersports where the penis isn't used.

Anon…


 No.325884

File: 59f53a4822896a9⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 817.35 KB, 1346x1515, 1346:1515, 71626358_p0.jpg)

>>325868

You were a little late there, or maybe I was early. Hope it answered your question.

Another rule of thumb you can apply, which works on all the previous mentioned boundaries, is whether or not it's a very furry-appealing kink. Maybe I'll do it on request despite disliking it, as I do other kinks, but I'll think extremely negatively of you.

>>325871

>Yeah but that hellmouth scene.

You mean the one where she takes a bite out of your head? For her, that's a bite-sized piece, with chewing. They have big mouths.

The list of no-nos is also with the assumption that it's all in a sexual context. I don't mind vomiting as simply a bodily reaction, or mere reference people happen to urinate.

So, "your last conscious moments are her teeth biting through your skull" really isn't the same as vore.

>>325874

>Wouldn't that count as cannibalism

Yeah sort of. In what I can only assume to be an attempt to ruin my day as frequently as possible, people have asserted that it's "hard vore," which also is the term for just digesting someone whole too.

I blame furries. Eating meat in a not absurdly retarded way is great.

>piss coming from female urethra

Probably a "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" kind of thing. I don't think there are any futas in the game that aren't completely shit characters, so I wouldn't want to write anything for them regardless.

I guess Kid A is an exception? Izma is an edgecase, as she's usually dickless in my playthroughs. The only scene I've ever written for Minerva is allowing you not to fuck her.


 No.325885

>>325884

Didn't you work on that Amily herm stuff?


 No.325888

>>325884

>Probably a "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" kind of thing.

Now someone's DEFINITELY going to be requesting that next time you take one.

>I don't think there are any futas in the game that aren't completely shit characters

I would say that the futas that can't be de-dicked and can only be futas are all badly done, personally. (again, except Kid A)


 No.325890

>>325885

Yes, I rewrote how she acts in a lesbian relationship so she won't suddenly, without warning, grow a dick, and then end the relationship forever if you don't like it.

That was stupid as shit, and out of character too. I wanted to change it such that she will never grow a dick, even if you're a pure female, and she'll just talk to you about it in a heart-to-heart and you can both come to a decision as it suits you. For some, they may want her to grow a dick. For me, I'd rather slap a schlong on meself for a few weeks and do the daddying, then chop it off when she's ready to move in.

So, much like minerva, it's more about avoidance. Character comes first, and Minerva, as a character, loved that you weren't there solely to plow her. It makes sense that you should be able to accept her love without getting railed by her parasite cock. Love isn't about sex, and that idea is WHY she loves you. The fact you couldn't ever have a relationship with her without fucking is stupid.


 No.325897

>>325888

Who is even on the dedick and non-dedick lists anyways? Cus I'm not sure how much I agree with the dislike for the futa characters and who would be improved with a dedicking. Outside of Urta being pretty blatantly having her character written around her dumb horsefuck fox futa body, I don't particularly recall anyone being all that dislikable for rocking both sets of junk. Hell I even rather like Kid A and Izma.


 No.325899

>>325897

Can't dedick Loppe and nearly all the stuff that makes her so horrible is completely tied to her dick. A lot of other characters aren't necessarily bad BECAUSE of being futa, but just because they're done poorly.


 No.325902

>>325897

Minerva's a non-dedickable shit character

Joy was shit

Loppe is a non-dedickable shit character whose original script had her in a diaper to contain all the jizz.

Aforementioned Urta

Pablo is a non-dedickable and non-de-vaginable? male herm and a shit character.

Katherine is dedickable, and pretty mediocre. Though, she's high tier by Tel'adre standards, as that place is a haven of garbage

Izma's dedickable and "eh"

Ceraph is sort of dedickable, and a non-character. She has nothign going for her, in my opinion.

Brooke, Cinnabar, Cotton, Greta, Heckel, Kami, Lucia, Roxanne, Venus, Victoria, Yara, Yvonne are all characters I cannot remember pretty much at all.

One of them is a non-dedickable futa lizan that always wins her first drinking game and fucks you in the ass, and I think you can never fuck her pussy. I don't really know, don't feel like looking.

Safe to assume I think they're all shit. Even most non-futa characters are, to me, unlikable.

I like Jojo, Rathazul, Shouldra(without the kink scenes), Fera, Amily(without the breeding thing)


 No.325907

>>325902

I clearly don't remember Loppe as well as I thought I did, which isn't surprising given i've not really touched her content since vanilla CoC was still in development, but still.

I think Katherine was a pretty neat character though, even if it's because Tel'Arde is a pretty bluh place.Raising her up from homelessness was nice, though I do feel like she ought to have had a couple of routes instead of just making her a guard.


 No.325911

>>325907

Loppe's a shame of a character. She might actually be a pretty good character if EVERYTHING didn't revolve around her especially enormous and disgustingly cum-filled horse penis.


 No.325936

BVA rimming notes:

>[say: Really now?

The dialogue warrants starting a new paragraph here, as you're implicitly speaking in the last sentence.

>you admire her tight-looking ass and glistening pussy, able to noticeably smell the sweet aroma of the latter.

The smell is noticeable, you're not smelling it noticeably. Unless you're being a huge asshole about it, like that brap copypasta, I guess.

>After leaning your face in close you

comma after "close"

>skin, but you don't go for the goal right out of the gate. You teasingly lick at her perineum and go up from there, circling the soft skin

>something you must imagine is only intended for pleasure considering her plant-like nature.

Well I'd recommend not even bringing this topic up, but I am neither free of sin here nor particularly into butt-stuff, so I'll yield to your expertise if you're feeling it.

>you notice the increasing aroma of her vaginal "nectar", wordlessly letting you know that you're doing something right.

This "letting" is misplaced, so I recommend replacing it with a "which wordlessly lets…" (or the like).

>you massage at her

This is sandwiched in between two uses of "massage" which are far enough apart individually to be fine, but become a bit of a problem with this one, and "massage" doesn't go with "at" here anyway.

>She giggles slightly and you

comma after "slightly"

>good [boy]. I think I'll get started now, so be a good plaything

It's dialogue, so it's more fine than it'd be otherwise, but it's still a bit repetitive.

>while your painfully hardening [cocktype] is caressed in all directions by them,

Should be "from all directions," and I'd recommend getting rid of the "by them."

>seems as though things are about to become a bit more mutual.

This doesn't work well as a comma splice, but if you want them to stay in the same sentence, you can go with a dash. A semicolon would also work, but I like the dash better.

>[say: Alright, plaything.

You might consider breaking up the paragraph here, although it's not necessary like the last one.

>you feel a stinging lash of a vine

"The" again.

>If that's how she wants it to be, you happily play along.

I highly recommend "you'll."

>into your floral "mistress's"

Why's that in quotes?

>gently thrusting your tongue

I recommend making that "your tongue" just "it," both due to repetition and because you already have something for it in this sentence.

>Very earthy and plantlike, though vaguely sweet, it's what one might imagine cutting the flower off of a rose and sucking at the open stem could be like.

I thought it was beets? In any case, "would" instead of "could."

>Her vines rubbing at your genitals begin […] The tentacles grinding at your [pussy] begin

These are a bit similar to be one after another (same goes for the variations).

>begin to surround and wrap around it

These are kind of redundant, and I think the identical "round" in each makes them feel a bit repetitive.

>begin to surround and wrap around it before beginning

>You let out a pleasured gasp as she begins

Another "begin."

>pleasured gasp as she begins returning the pleasure

>her floral asshole.

Is her asshole itself floral? Didn't see myself ever typing that sentence, but here we are.

I'm about proofread out, but I'll finish it up tomorrow. As for an overall note, I think your flow and general coordination (hard to think of a word for what I mean, but like good sentence structure and stuff) has improved a lot since those first few pastes after your return. I definitely enjoy these, and I'm not the target audience, which is always a good sign.


 No.325964

>>325936

Fixed those things https://pastebin.com/raw/ffXbzCYg

>Is her asshole itself floral?

I changed it regardless, but now that you mention it that's a good question.

>overall notes

Thank you, that means a lot. I've very much been trying to improve (and get the rust away) and the proofreading has made me much more aware of mistakes I've been making quite a lot.


 No.326005

>>325269

fuck off jackass


 No.326012

>>325857

how you fuck her?


 No.326060

>>326012

with your genitalia


 No.326079

File: 08cc542f8d4b2b6⋯.jpg (813.44 KB, 899x1000, 899:1000, Different strokes for diff….jpg)

>>322474

>A german sweet heart will never suck my bratwurst to perfection every morning

It hurts


 No.326082

>>326079

What do you mean? That's literally in the game, and it's specific enough that I don't know why else you would bring it up.


 No.326084

>>326082

In real life. Maybe I should have specified that oh well


 No.326088

>>326084

that was odd


 No.326089

>>326084

Oh, well then I understand your pain, anon.


 No.326103

>>325902

Katherine would have been better had encountering her not required yet another "the PC is an idiot" scene, where this mighty demon slayer gets knocked out by a small orphan regardless of his stats.


 No.326107

>>326079

Deutsche Schlampen sind die besten Schlampen, du unarischer Bastard!


 No.326116

File: 70b526a31d7c5bd⋯.png (156.29 KB, 1024x1024, 1:1, 9ee6d4bf3ce05934dc9eca29.png)

Alright let's put pen to paper right the fuck now, first request I get, I write.

Note that more detail makes it easier for me if it's a kink I don't quite understand.


 No.326118

>>326116

Lewd breastfeeding. I can't think of a good actual daughter for it, so I'll just go with Alices, but if you have a better candidate then feel free.

"Lewd breastfeeding" could mean various things. It could just be breastfeeding alone but with sexual overtones and not just sustenance/mothering, or it could be fingering/fucking the girl while she sits in your lap and drinks your milk. It could be forced, consensual, or semi-consensual (coerced or whatnot).


 No.326120

>>326118

I suggest one of your children with Marble, Isabella, or Cotton, perhaps under the reason/excuse of family bonding and sharing the motherly duties.


 No.326123

File: c75d2e9d3a92d6f⋯.png (1.5 MB, 1280x906, 640:453, 310549ad3eeb9bc14ba9447db6….png)

>>326118

Breastfeeding can be romantic, but it's never been lewd in my experience. It's an odd thing for me to try and approach. Guess I'll try though.

Regarding forced, I think there's actually a Feeder perk for that. The game's got a lot of lactation support I'm not too familiar with.

>>326120

Isn't Cotton one of the gym trash-heaps?


 No.326124

>>326120

>children with Marble

Absolutely not.

>Isabella

Too young for lewds, to me. It wouldn't bother me, it just doesn't have any appeal.

>Cotton

I actually have no idea what Cotton's content is like because I can't get the furry image out of my head despite nofur mode. And also because the name makes me think of her as an old man.


 No.326126

>>326123

>gym trash-heaps

Yep. You like a challenge, right? Cotton actually has some child breastfeeding already, nothing lewd though.


 No.326138

So how does one hit 11' tall? Cus I can only hit 10' before the height stuff i can find no longer works.


 No.326141

>>326138

>10'11"

Manlet seething, you aren't a true man unless you're 11'


 No.326146

File: dc862c443fea25c⋯.jpg (597.43 KB, 2000x2472, 250:309, 0dc4d1636aedc664dbf3a75286….jpg)

>>326118

I fiddled around with this a bit before ending up here. An interesting adventure, probably missed the mark a bit.

Nursing Alice

https://pastebin.com/3XiVKTwC

Funfact: The pronoun check was the very first line I wrote, everything else came after.


 No.326153

>>326146

There should probably be a +corruption modifier after the event, considering you are still fucking a demon


 No.326154

>>326146

This was surprisingly cute.


 No.326156

>>326153

All Alice sex scenes have one, it's been standardized.


 No.326159

Okay, I may be blind but… wasn't there supposed to be a link to an image pack or character viewer thingies somewhere? I do distinctly remember those being a thing a couple of years ago.


 No.326161

>>326159

If you want to work on improving your eyesight, you can start by reading this very thread.


 No.326206

File: 40d435b50059f35⋯.png (16.16 KB, 344x135, 344:135, 24758247_p0.png)

>>326146

I like it, thanks.

>probably missed the mark a bit

For a short one-off scene with a generic character, I think it's good. Anything better would require more depth in the relationship and characters to work with. The only additional request I'd have in hindsight is a slightly altered version if the champion is a child.

Pic semi-related, only because I found it while searching for 授乳 on Pixiv.


 No.326210

since you can already get a special demonic cock, can we ever get a demonic pussy as well?

one filled with tiny little tentacles which wriggle and squirm, i think the word for that sounds like "celia" but I have no idea how to write it.


 No.326214

File: ae8bd116567c80c⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 112.24 KB, 850x595, 10:7, __erica_hartmann_and_gertr….jpg)

>>326206

Not gonna throw a hissy fit or anything since it's not like it's a rule or anything, but it's generally considered polite to spoil more "extreme" images here. And that one's a wee bit extreme.

Also what does "授乳" mean?

>>326210

We could do with more vagina types in general, really. There are very very few as it is now.


 No.326222

>>325857

That's both adorable and hot.

I really hope you'll write more for Helspawn, chaste or not.

This just makes me want to be able to share my bed with my daughter and have her sleep with me every night.


 No.326223

File: 9315cfe34b91139⋯.jpg (93.98 KB, 1303x494, 1303:494, 授乳.jpg)

>>326214

>And that one's a wee bit extreme.

Is it? With how simple and stylised it is, I don't think it's visually extreme, only the implications of it. To me it's on the level of mentioning babyfucking in text, at worst, and that's basically never spoilered.


 No.326310

File: ca9891fa9d4e7ab⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 185.42 KB, 850x850, 1:1, __hijiri_byakuren_and_toyo….jpg)

>>326223

I'd definitely say any image of babysex stuff is "extreme". And images need spoilered more than text because if babysex text is coming, someone can known and stop reading. But with an image it's just "scroll down scroll down welp there's some babysex just s taring me in the face"


 No.326316

File: f5a41150c53c62f⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 9.97 KB, 663x450, 221:150, Warning - Extreme Content.jpg)

>>326310

It's not a hill I'm willing to die on — the only reason I didn't spoiler it is that it literally didn't even occur to me that it could be seen as extreme — but I'd say there's a point where an image is too simplified to be considered "extreme" regardless of what it's depicting.


 No.326334

>>326060

I meant how you unlock her sex stuff when she's grown up


 No.326347

File: 9593eb90e80d028⋯.png (295.57 KB, 559x527, 559:527, Julius_HD.png)

>>325250

https://pastebin.com/j5yrJ8KA

Finished writing for the blessed whip weapon. Was going to make it a chain one but then I realized that the flail already exists. Would love it to be placed into the whip category with more armor penetration myself but eh.

If I can I would also like to include Holy Water as a throw able item like the wingstick that deals damage over time to corrupt targets as well as a ritual involving blessing Lethice's whip using the pure water item from the Siren's spring.


 No.326351

File: eaabbb20da75b87⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 1.01 MB, 740x975, 148:195, 25088006_p0.png)

>>326316

I'd agree with you. I spoiler guro all the time, but something as simplified as the "breastfeeding" you posted isn't something that would occur to me as needing it.


 No.326359

Incest sex with Helspawn shows up as a completely blank menu in 1.4.2. Admittedly I'm using an incredibly old save converted into revised mod.


 No.326384

>>326316

How is modded version developed relatively original plot-rpg-wise? Can I enjoy proper corruption\pure route without waifu-furry simulator?

Furries are okay, but this waifu shilling is annoying as fuck.


 No.326388

>>326359

I'm guessing you have sillymode off, slutspawn, and only a dick?

>>326384

Why'd you reply to that guy? Why is your English so bad? Would you maybe like to consider going back to wherever you came from?


 No.326472

>>326347

>You point at the side alcove, near the altar, where [Gargoyle] performed the body purifying ritual on you earlier and inquire

I highly recommend removing those commas, but if you don't, you should add another after "earlier." Also, it's [garg], so please change all those.

>"What about it master?"

Put a comma after "it" and capitalize "master." There are a lot of these, so I'm only commenting on this one, but capitalize all of the instances where she directly refers to the player as "master," and set the ones that don't fulfill grammatical roles in the sentence (e.g., subject, object) off with commas.

>+ [if you learned about the gargoyle's master]

This notation isn't great, as it doesn't make it exactly clear where the conditional ends. I recommend using [if (condition) output] and [if (condition) output|else output].

>It was soaked in holy water and various sacred rituals

comma after "water"

>That’s

I see a plain apostrophe earlier, so I don't know how this ended up here, but please make sure to get rid of those.

>out of it's sheathe

Should be "its sheath"

>“Of course master

Suddenly smart quotes, get rid of those too.

>but I am afraid this is the only one left here and if you take it away

comma after "here"

>Take

I'd recommend providing a list of options where the buttons would appear.

>You uncoil it’s length

"its"

>, letting it fall on the floor around you and grab it

comma after "you"

>it’s tensile strength

"its" (I'm personally really bad with these, so I sympathize greatly)

>You look around, trying to find a suitable target to practice on and notice

comma after "on"

>cartoony looking

These are generally hyphenated.

>, suddenly making you feel a little bad about what you did and sighs.

Add a comma after "did." This is the third one of these, so I'll explain—participial phrases get commas on both sides when moved away from the thing they modify (you correctly use the one before all three, but they need another when there's stuff following that's not part of the phrase). Also, I assume that the conditional only extends to this part of the sentence, but it's very unclear from the formatting.

>You let out an awkward chuckle and excuse yourself

Potentially a bit out of character for some champions, but not a huge deal. Some people are a bit more opinionated about this than me, however.

>just in case.

>You shake your head and tell [Gargoyle] that you won’t take it in that case.

Mild repetition of "case"

>you decide to head back to your camp when [gargoyle]

I'd recommend a comma after "camp."

>when [gargoyle] suddenly speak out.

"speaks"

>You say that you’ll think about it and after saying goodbye, return to your camp.

I strongly recommend a comma after "and."

>[Must have a regular whip in your inventory and completed the Whip talk topic, grayed out otherwise]

It wouldn't make sense to appear disabled before she mentions it, so it should only do so if you don't have the whip yet.

>out the whip that you bought,

You might want to future proof this for there being other sources of whips by using a word like "acquired"/"obtained"/whatever.

>You nod and the gargoyle

comma after "nod"

>“Master!” [gargoyle] Happily exclaims

lowercase "h"

>and rushes towards you

I find linking this with the dialogue tag earlier extremely awkward.

>You smile back at her, thanking her for her hard work and take the weapon from her.

comma after "work" (and the same comments for the repeated stuff)

If any of those commas are confusing, either ask or look at the writing guide in the OP. The ones I didn't mark as recommendations are required. I'll do the second half later, but I thought this part was pretty good.


 No.326483

>>326347

>Imps cannot even touch it without burning their hands.

I am SO excited for the beautiful sword 2.0!

I don't see how does this anything aside from detract from the one of a kind "holy" weapon that already exists. Why does it have to be this super special awesome unique holy and blessed OC leather belt? Why not just have it be a badass whip on its own right that was used to purge demons that is not just a flexible copy of the beautiful sword?

>I also saw how the clergy produced the tools required for said rituals.

This indirectly implies the beautiful sword was made with similar methods as it functions pretty much the same to your blessed whips.

>If you would bring me something similar to it, that hasn’t yet been tainted with corruption, I believe I could bless it for you in a similar manner.

If it's so simple to bless something, why wasn't every single weapon blessed when the demons came? Why aren't they strewn all around this church? Why can't she bless literally everything? This isn't thought out at all.

I'm all for new writers and content, but this isn't thought out properly and should refrain from all the holy and blessing similarities that make the beautiful sword unique and rather just focus on a badass whip, I'm sure there are many things people can come up with to make it unique enough, and not so mass-producible. Doom and Belmont posters really feel like the /v/ variant of furries with wanting their OC character things in.

Even if you completely ignore all this, you can always ask questions in the thread and have the autists who work on this give you advice on writing, but especially on the lore with what works and what doesn't.


 No.326587

BVA beet feast notes (continued):

>speed […] and

commas around the conditional

>eventually hitting a dead end which

comma after "end"

>blissful sounding

hyphen

>with an increased pace

Make the "with" an "at."

>back and forth inside her in every direction

The "back and forth" and the "in every direction" clash a bit.

>twirling it and spinning it inside of it

I highly recommend replacing the third "it" with a noun.

>you alternate the dexterous and wild motions with thrusting back and forth as deep as you can go

This is a bit off, both because there's no real justification for the "the" and because I don't see a clear distinction between the "thrusting" and these "motions" for you to be alternating between them.

>increase your speed."] As your speed increases

>throb in arousal

with

>with her skillful display of how exactly her black vines can make you feel.

Repetition of "with," and this is a bit generally awkward.

>lightly spasm uncontrollably

Choose one adverb.

>. squeezing

comma

>much harder and the speed

comma after "harder"

>the speed of the vines at your genitals increase

s

>quickly causing you to let out pained, pleasured moans as your climax quickly

>pleasured moans as your climax quickly arrives. [if player only has a vagina "The muscles around your [vagina] spasm as she relentlessly pleasures

>as waves of orgasmic bliss filling your entire body

fill

>vines, soon shooting your cum mostly against the ground, though slightly coating the vines

>The muscles around your [vagina] spasm as she relentlessly pleasures you from the outside while your cock twitches from wmithin its vine wrappings, orgasmic bliss from both sexes filling your body as you coat her vines in feminine ejaculate while your cock shoots squirts of cum onto the ground and slightly onto her vines that continue to pleasure you.

You have a sequence of "as while as while" here. I'd recommend just breaking the sentence up or having two independent clauses. Also, the same repetition notes as the constituent parts.

>[say: By the way,

New paragraph.

>Bound and lashed, the two of you

She's neither bound nor lashed.

>you both continue. Bound and lashed, the two of you continue with vigor as sounds from both of you

>not taking long for her to orgasm once more

Remove the "for her" to make this make sense modifying "she."

>best you can, you reach around and rub at her amazingly stiff clit, working the cherry-colored nub to the best of your abilities.

>[say: Good plaything.

You might consider a new paragraph.

>the two of you continue on. After enough orgasms between the two of you

>you lie down on the petals of her flower and she

comma after "flower"

>Starting to feel more vines

I recommend adding a verb to describe what the vines are doing.

>You move your mouth to her perineum and sink your teeth deep into her sensitive area

You bit her gooch? Why is that the first thing you think of? Don't change it, it's hilarious, but this (and especially the part of this sentence I didn't quote) toes some kinda line.

>draw back away from you and she loudly

comma after "you"

>as fast as you can. You hurriedly grab your belongings and flee as fast as you


 No.326593

File: 7fc912eae851bb5⋯.jpg (90.25 KB, 565x800, 113:160, ea5ff56fafdd807032706d81c9….jpg)

>>326587

Should all be fixed. https://pastebin.com/raw/ffXbzCYg

>You bit her gooch? Why

Perineal tears can be very painful (and potentially serious, not that that's the case here) injuries. One would assume especially painful if the flesh is deliberately and violently bitten off. Why I specifically chose that, it's just that it seemed like an easy to access body part from the angle the player character would be at. But if it seems off, I changed it to sillymode. The more "normal" folks can just tear off her labia instead. It's okay though. It'll grow back.


 No.326609

So I made a item to let us get scythe earlier than late mid-game

It should pass bare minimum requirements for item to be allowed into the game

Also scythes should probably get damage/accuracy malus at mastery levels 0-1

https://pastebin.com/A64sztc9

It's not proofread btw


 No.326642

>>326609

Why does she want imp skulls? What are gnolls going to do with a farming scythe?


 No.326643

>>326642

Oh wait that is just silly mode nonsense stuff i am dumb


 No.326646

>>326642

It needed some sort of quest to get into the game so I made it into fetch quest that's doable early on

Gnolls were picked because they have habit of stealing from farm


 No.326650

File: db9b1292ac87993⋯.gif (1.63 MB, 390x293, 390:293, sex.gif)

Little aside about the scythe talk: Scythes are functionally terrible weapons. Even the historic warscythe was really just a spear—the scythe blade reforged and pointed up, like a crescent spear. Scythes are cool, though.

Raping a Lumberjack

https://pastebin.com/whgHvt2y

Finally I'm done with the sex part of this event. It occurs to me I don't think I have ever read a scene for a macho man being fucked in the ass. Anywhere.

Now the only thing I'm going to work on is editing my existing stuff.

>>326154

Great, hope that means I hit the nail on the head there.

>>326153

What >>326156 said. I didn't bother since Koraeli told me about the standardized function.

>>326159

Distinctly no. Image packs were only ever maintained by furries, and the character viewer just outright wasn't. This mod does not provide support for either. Though, that said, the parts of this mod from vanilla or revamp will still work with revamp image packs. Do not expect anyone here to provide any.

Can you spot the hidden message in this post? You must say where it is for it to count


 No.326651

>>326650

>Scythes are cool, though.

At the end of the day that is all that matters


 No.326652

>>326650

Mail

Something so that old wand item can get in

Alternatively a way to obtain a cute dress


 No.326654

>>326652

If you can't get a hold of proper lube, butter or oil will suffice for getting your old wand in.

The other request is too vague.


 No.326657

>>326654

Whitney fighting off a gnoll then


 No.326666

File: 703e164b66dd151⋯.png (265.07 KB, 429x387, 143:129, 2f11601fe4175da224ccaa621d….png)

>>326657

I was hoping another suggestion would come in and I'd just reject this for something better. I go, make some coffee, take vitamins, come back

Nothin.

Fine. Why would Whitney be fighting a gnoll? I'll come up with something.

Whitney Fights a Gnoll

https://pastebin.com/SVX73BqC

And now my hiatus begins. When I return, I will begin my next project with renewed vigor. If anyone has questions or comments before I go, I'll linger a bit until my plans in the evening begin


 No.326667

File: 52e5f02224567bb⋯.png (623.41 KB, 1500x2153, 1500:2153, sleep.png)

>>326666

>Mega satan quads

Sleep well satan may you dream of fluffy wing angels and stuff


 No.326669

>>326666

>Why would Whitney be fighting a gnoll?

>Gnolls and imps like milk too,” she goes on in a harder tone, “but they prefer tryin' stealin' it.

There's also that part where she patrols around the farm with scythe and had guard training


 No.326733

>>326079

Now where's the corrupted version of this image?


 No.326773

Are you not able to fuck the Dullahan penetration wise?


 No.326779

>>326773

You can, you just die. OCA's final revenge against everyone who wants smut in his porn mod. There's also a tentacle scene, if you're into that.


 No.326780

>>326779

You can not die with enough of a certain stat, but it doesn't really change anything beyond not dying.


 No.326784

File: a72ce01be69b60a⋯.jpg (173.42 KB, 850x695, 170:139, sample-24fb83c2059f0b655c6….jpg)

I had another chance to work on Buster. I want to finish some more encounters with him, but I also want to work on finishing Katya at some point.

Ghostbin: https://ghostbin.com/paste/y5phn


 No.326785

>>325829

Little late to the party, you thinking just some horse on Whitney's farm or Kelt?

Maybe pregnant edryn shirt soaking/piss drinking?

I may take a crack at writing that


 No.326789

>>326785

Generic horse was what I had in mind. Kelt can go fuck himself and become kelly and again get fucked.


 No.326790

>>326784

You're saying this like we're supposed to know who that is, but I don't see you in the archive or anything.


 No.326792

>>326784

Wow this looks like garbage. Player quotes, use of the word shota, a general style of writing that just feels out of place, skimming because the cancer it's giving me is a little hard to swallow at this point.

I see a lot of strongly characterizing the player, too, mostly as a retard.

I don't know where the hell you came from, but go back


 No.326793

File: fc454c95a96de3d⋯.mp4 (1.15 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, 10_outta_10.mp4)

>>326792

>Implying a smut game featuring triple horse cocks and piss scenes has "writing standards"

It's a rough draft, fag.


 No.326794

>>326790

Bearlolianon, he disappeared a year ago, before Chronicler started chronicling.


 No.326795

>>326793

>Going with the lmao no standards

We have them now.


 No.326796

>>326793

There's a difference between errors like typos and fundamental misunderstandings of what you should be doing, like the player quotes he mentioned. Also, quality of fetishes =/= quality of writing.


 No.326797

>>326793

No you fucking moron, it's fundamentally unacceptable. You have no idea how to write scenes for this mod so don't act like "it's a rough draft" is the problem.


 No.326798

File: d13971278c23966⋯.png (630.23 KB, 1168x1662, 584:831, 74.png)

>>326795

Yes, I'll get around to reading them and adjusting/fine-tuning things as I go through it. This is something I touch maybe once or twice a month tops. The point of a rough draft is for critique and ideas on how to improve it. Would you prefer I not release anything until it's 100% finished, finalized, and edited, just to be told "yeah nah we will never add this to the game" or would you prefer a drunken mess establishing if an idea sounds like fun or not before putting in unneeded effort on it since it might as well be fanfiction garbage until it gets a green light (or at least a yellow light)? I did that once with a minotaur scene that was thankfully just an hour or so of writing a new scene for lolis before being told it wouldn't line up with established lore, and I won't do something like that again.


 No.326801

>>326796

>>326797

It's a problem of style more than quality, easily fixed, he's just from a time before we had enough writers to care so much about standards. I have no doubt he'll catch up, style issues aside he's shown himself to be a decent writer. I do have doubts that he'll ever finish anything though, Katya especially is an extremely ambitious project that will take decades to finish at his current pace.

I just want my bear loli.


 No.326802

>>326798

Do read the Writing Guide in the OP, it has a lot of both general guidelines of how to write for this game and grammatical things as well.


 No.326803

File: 18c7a4ffa2bf268⋯.png (129.4 KB, 481x534, 481:534, 18c7a4ffa2bf2681abb6e972c2….png)

>>326796

I'm aware. Adjusting to the writing standards based on a brief glimpse is child's play. I'm more curious about if this is a type of content that would be found enjoyable and workable or if it's a waste of time to even bother, minus the autistic niggerspeak of anons like >>326797 who have more issues with the writing than the content itself.


 No.326804

File: b53ec1ca21a4ea0⋯.jpg (56.31 KB, 450x600, 3:4, beargirl1.jpg)

>>326801

>I just want my bear loli

I'll get her to a point where she's presentable within this era.


 No.326806

>>326794

Oh damn, the bear loli guy. That was like, what, august 2017?

My goodness, that's a surprise. I guess that's evidence he's not actually a troll, huh.

>>326798

>Would you prefer I not release anything until it's 100% finished, finalized, and edited

What you've written is actually much more than would be needed to show off the concept. If you really wanted to get opinions about the core idea itself, a scene isn't even needed, honestly.

But, let's just tackle the crucial elements of this. Your inability to write aside, is the idea any good?

>Shota demon

Okay, that part alone fine. Loli demons are a thing too, we know it can work. Minor note on writing style, we never use the terms loli or shota to describe a character. They are small, youthful, child-like, so on. Not important for the core concept discussion, but I'll note it.

>He was part of Lethice's court

Dicey, but could explain how he became a shota and was originally not one. If he was originally one while part of her court, that's a red flag.

>the rest

This is a slog to read because you laid it out in a long scene in a bad writing style. I would request you take all the details you deem important and lay it out here, in a post, so we can assess the concepts more concisely.

But if the big core thing is a tan shota demon that is a bit sheepish, personality-wise, it can work. There are a lot of people who would like that. Whatever else is crucial to this idea, tell us.


 No.326809

>>326803

In that front it does look like something neat


 No.326813

>>326806

Fair enough. I'm about three glasses of booze in so this should be easy enough to summarize.

>Shota Demon

>Part of Lethice's Court

>Ate a lethicite vault

>Lethicite reacted weird due to high quantity consumed

>Gave him something vaguely resembling multiple personality disorder

>Player can either choose to make him revert back to full demon status but stuck in shota body, or want to try to get back to his more "human" origins (or just kill him for some nice loot)

>Can also fuck him if female

>Everything else is basically fluff or in the works

>Basically just a sheepish/childish demon at the moment


 No.326818

>>326813

From what I understand of the lore, starting out as a kid is a huge no-no for demonic characters. Being a kid is a punishment for demons who've fucked up, not a something they are while still in the good graces of their superiors.


 No.326820

>>326818

Yeah, Lethice turned him into a kid. Sorry I figured that was a given.


 No.326822

>>326820

>Lethice turned him into a kid

How?


 No.326825

>>326822

I presume by the same means that Alices get made.


 No.326826

>>326825

Fug i mixed up names and i thought you were talking about the stone not the demon


 No.326828

File: a8c8eb648c3b908⋯.jpg (101.02 KB, 1200x1200, 1:1, 1510456060890-2.jpg)

Alright, I'll work on Bear Loli for a bit instead and we can come back to this at a later date since at least that one I got a partial greenlight so long as I ironed everything out. My main point was getting a feel for if this is the sort of content that could get greenlit (assuming the writing issues were fixed, which again should be a pretty straightforward solution).


 No.326831

>>326813

>Can also fuck him if female

Do you mean he's straight, and males only get rape as the route for sex, or do you just mean you wouldn't be writing m/m?

>Ate a lethicite vault

What a big, massive red flag.

>Lethicite reacted weird due to quantity

Dicey.

>Ended up with something resembling mpd

Could be great, but that's harder to write well than you might think.Actually very hard, and could just be a really annoying character.

>revert to full but stuck as shota

I don't understand what you mean by this at all

>get back to more human origins

I don't understand what you mean by this at all

>Everything else is fluff

That's not a character trait, that's a progress update.

>>326825

The means the make Alices also turn them female. Not to say there can't be a variant of the concoction or a quirky interaction going on, but you need to know what the existing lore is

>>326828

I actually have a rar of the old bear loli stuff. Should I reread it to refresh, or are you rewriting her old content?


 No.326833

>>326831

>What a big, massive red flag.

Is that weird for a demon to get a lust of power and do something really stupid?


 No.326834

>>326831

>Should I reread it to refresh, or are you rewriting her old content?

I'm using the old stuff as a base, but I'm re-writing it since it's been a while, so don't worry about that. I'll get what currently exists up to standards, post that in a ghostbin with any flourishings/changes thrown in, and go from there.


 No.326835

>>326831

The Alice codex implies the process is not uniform and can be tailored to different effects. Alices are just the most common variant.

However I really gotta agree that the writer only supporting what is more or less /ss/ is really fuckin vanilla and boring.


 No.326836

>>326835

There is not much shota to work around with anyways so why not?


 No.326837

>>326831

>Do you mean he's straight, and males only get rape as the route for sex, or do you just mean you wouldn't be writing m/m?

The former, but I wouldn't write m/m content until a base was 100% finished.


 No.326839

>>326836

I'm not saying that the game couldn't use it, only that supporting just pure het makes for a limited characters and brings back memories of some of the shitty and picky npcs from vanilla.


 No.326840

>>326813

Potential problems:

Succubi and incubi are the lowest tier of demons, aside from imps. They're almost always worthless and lazy, and even the exceptions aren't going to match up to a real demon. A lust demon in a position of power could technically be possible, but it would be an especially rare thing. Being one of the most pivotal demons in Lethice's army though? That would have to be him bullshitting to impress you.

A lot of the lethicite stuff is questionable. A fake soul created from lethicite? That's a no. Psychological effects like multiple personalities? I can see that. Those personalities coming from the lethicite's original "owners"? Big no.

>>326818

>starting out as a kid is a huge no-no for demonic characters

Lorefag here, and I can't think of any reason that would be the case. There's no reason a child couldn't become a demon, and no reason a demon couldn't willingly make themselves look like a child. It would just be rare in either case.

>>326833

>Is that weird for a demon to get a lust of power and do something really stupid?

It's a red flag because a lot of people like to suggest using lethicite as an all-purpose lore-breaking tool, able to do anything and everything for no reason. It's literally just a power source and nothing else, like a magic battery.


 No.326841

>>326833

It's not the logic, it's frequent occurrence of really awful character writing involving the character gaining a ton of power to make them special. There was an angel shota someone drafted in 2017 that was similarly god-awful and had bullshit high important too. This isn't nearly as retarded, conceptually, as that one, but the point is that it's a common red flag.

Let's break down the situation though.

>Lethice has a lot of lethicite

Makes sense, nothing wrong there

>She has a lot of it in one place, not being actively used in the labs, forging things, being consumed by her, or actually serving a present purpose

Why is it in one place? Why would there be so much that isn't useful at the moment? Why is it in one place? I would think several important important people have portions of the spare lethicite, especially if they have anything to do with R&D and actually have a reason to keep a lot of extra.

But you know, for security reasons, why is it one place? Never put all your eggs in one basket.

But let's take it from the angle that it is spread out, and one of those places houses enough lethicite to do amazing and quirky things.

How did he get in there?

>There is a stockpile of a very substantial amount of one of the most powerful substances known, and the level of security could be circumvented by an individual

It seems like a stretch.

I do concede that it can be made to work, but I don't think it should. I think it needs to be retooled to not gift the character extravagant powers that add new mechanics to the lore and prop the character up as having a history of being amazing(as they'd need to be to get into the vault in the first place).

It's such a big red flag when someone wants to write a character like that. They are so commonly bad.


 No.326843

>>326841

>How did he get in there?

It's explained in the paste: Lethice basically did it on purpose to screw with him and tempt him into betraying her, for not-sufficiently-explained reasons.


 No.326844

>>326843

that sounds quite terribly retarded.


 No.326845

>>326840

>Lorefag here, and I can't think of any reason that would be the case. There's no reason a child couldn't become a demon, and no reason a demon couldn't willingly make themselves look like a child. It would just be rare in either case.

I'm not saying that it's impossible for such a thing to happen, but rather that things are so much more stacked against kids that a child turned demon would desire an adult body and an adult demon who have lack for a single good reasons to turn into a kid. Outside of prodigies like the Champion and young Shouldra (assuming one uses that option) or constructs like the gargoyle (second verse, same as the first), kids just can't compete with adults and demons especially have troubles given their need to feed.


 No.326847

>>326845

What if they just like looking like a kid? For fetish reasons. It's very easily explainable, even if it would be uncommon.


 No.326849

>>326845

Having 80lb breasts or balls so big you can't walk would be a bigger handicap than being a kid, but both of those still happen.


 No.326850

>>326840

>>326841

Thank you. Things will sound good in my head but I know they're utter shite on paper. This is the kind of feedback I was looking for to decide if it's worth pursuing which is reinforcing the vibe I was starting to get myself that it was not.


 No.326852

>>326843

The idea that Lethice would waste a vault's worth of the greatest resource in the land to screw over an Incubus of all things is pretty bad. Off the top of my head, it would be better if he stole like, 2 pieces of spare Lethicite from somewhere like the forge, fucking themselves over since they were going to be used to make something for Lethice. Lethice then makes an example by turning them into a shota and torturing them until they get whatever mental issues you wanted them to have.

Probably still bad, but makes more sense than wasting a vault of the good shit on trolling an Incubus, and Lethice is shown in the inquisitor's letter to put harsh punishments on those who fuck with her and her shit.


 No.326854

>>326845

>adult demon who have lack for a single good reasons to turn into a kid

Depending on how easy and quick shapeshifting is, disguising as a child seems reasonable enough when possibly interacting with non-demons.


 No.326855

>>326847

For reasons I've explained, it's again very unlikely.

>>326849

I'm likely just blanking on character descriptions, but what characters are crippled by their endowments that aren't pets/playthings/resources for other beings?

>>326854

Is shapeshifting even a thing? All i can recall is alchemy and illusions to hide demonic traits. That latter being so simple even the vastly weakened alices can do it well enough to sorta hunt.


 No.326857

>>326847

Certainly, there can be that very rare case where a demon desires appearing like a child. Probably incredibly unlikely, but could happen.

>>326854

I'd imagine extremely significant changes in mass are rather hard, taking a fair degree of time to perform. An illusion spell would be vastly more efficient.

>>326855

"shapeshifting" is a thing in that they use black magic to manipulate their body parts. Increasing endowments, usually, or even adding/removing genitals. Black magic is body magic. Not shapeshifting, but it could be used that way in theory


 No.326858

>>326855

Doesn't ceraph do it a lot?


 No.326860

>>326855

>For reasons I've explained, it's again very unlikely.

My post acknowledged that it would be uncommon, and you have said nothing about demons who would do it as a kink. If a lust demon was particularly into the idea of being a shota, there's no real reason they wouldn't.

>>326857

>Certainly, there can be that very rare case where a demon desires appearing like a child. Probably incredibly unlikely, but could happen.

We're talking about a unique character here. It's not like someone is proposing a common enemy, so how unlikely it is doesn't really matter if it fits the character (not that that means anything for the character in question here, I'm just saying that a shota demon would definitely be workable).


 No.326863

>>326855

The only magical or non-magical shapeshifting that lasts for more than a few minutes is the one done by a literal god, so the idea seems pretty out of luck. And even then, it's just making someone sprout tentacle dicks. Everything else: Kitsune dick shifting, Shouldra dick shifting, Goo girl cow transformation, Ceraph shapeshifting: it's super temporary and according to Ceraph requires a lot of effort and concentration, even for something as simple as temporary dick nipples.


 No.326867

>>326857

>>326858

The magics that Ceraph does do not seem likely to be satisfactory, as >>326863 explains.

>>326860

Uncommon is vastly overselling how appealing being a kid is to demonkind. Fucking kids is rather likely, but not being one, given how much of a punishment being turned into one is framed by the Alice codex. Making a shota-demon character that isn't just a one-off boss that is also not the result of a punishment just reeks of potent sue-dom to me. Point is that a shota-demon character would be more inline with the current lore if they got that way b/c of a punishment.


 No.326868

>>326863

>Literal god

Marae or Fera?

>Goo girls

That is not really applicable though as the birth scenes mention using you as "template" so you have a gooier you running about raping people on the lake


 No.326869

>>326868

>Marae or Fera?

Yes

>That is not really applicable

I'm talking about them changing into cowgirls if you breastfeed them enough. I agree that it doesn't count as shapeshifting magic, though, since they are made of slime, but even then it's still temporary.


 No.326871

File: 700f0a5f0aa8843⋯.jpg (479.64 KB, 1386x795, 462:265, a ready heart.jpg)

https://pastebin.com/QSjRW0HE

Getting it buried under arguments and shitposting, but here, [Handholding] for Marielle. I'm nearly done, I suppose. A good four months late and bloated like a corpse, but almost there.


 No.326874

>>326867

Why would wanting to be a kid be more uncommon for demons than humans? Even being literally impossible in real life, there are plenty of people who desire it. When it's an actual option, for a group known more for debauchery and kink than anything else, I have a hard time buying that it would be that rare. I'm thinking closer to 1/100 than 1/1000.

>>326863

I'm going to ignore the word "non-magical" there because it's a completely absurd claim, the game is full of permanent shapeshifting.

Exgartuan can permanently increase the size of various parts through magic. Shouldra can too. The omnibus overseer can use magic to change your sizes, grow new parts, and remove or shapeshift existing parts. The sand witches are all about magical shapeshifting. I'm sure there's more I'm missing.


 No.326877

>>326874

With irl humans irl it's pure fetish fuel with little consequences to consider beyond ignoring the obvious like the trouble you'd get in for turning into a kid, unless you get in the economic/social problems that would fuck you over even as an adult. However the people of Mareth face a much harsher life, even in places like Tel'Adre, so the fun one could get into as a kid has to be weighted against much heftier difficulties. Demons suffer this more given their need to hunt for sexual energy, which is much harder as a weak and unappealing kid. As debauched as the realm's denizens can be, being young is still quite the turnoff to the point where one might have to prey on an animal if they're particularly unlucky. There's a reason why Alices are the way they are as a PUNISHMENT.

Also to touch on your shapeshifting argument. Those all are very limited transformations that really only muck with endowments and maybe add a new one. Child <> Adult is probably much more than can be done by nearly anyone magically and is likely a pain to do alchemically but still worth the price for the potency of a punishment it is.


 No.326878

>>326877

>Demons suffer this more given their need to hunt for sexual energy

Only lust demons, and it's only a psychological need for sex. It's not like the typical hentai succubus where they have to take something from their victims; a pair of demons could satisfy each other just fine, so all a child demon would need to do is find one pedophile (or even just indiscriminate) demon to pair up with, and that certainly wouldn't be difficult.


 No.326879

>>326877

I don't know where you're getting this impression of the demons as beleaguered scavengers from. Most of the demons in the game are having a great time until you show up.


 No.326881

>>326877

You try using the point of "it's a punishment for alices" like that's relevant here. The reason it's SO SEVERE a punishment for them is because it's EXTREMELY hard to reverse for them due to the nature of how they're transformed. If a demon willingly transformed into a childlike body for shits and giggles then they'd probably be able to reverse it pretty goddamn easy. Plus if they're still in good with other demons they could satisfy their urges even with a childlike body by running around with them in a group looking for "prey" to gang rape. And that's assuming that they even want to find prey instead of just fucking the demons that they're on perfectly fine terms with.


 No.326884

>>326877

>Also to touch on your shapeshifting argument. Those all are very limited transformations that really only muck with endowments and maybe add a new one.

There's also the hellhound master, who does some serious shapeshifting well beyond just an age change. Granted, that's after acquiring Marae's lethicite which instantly puts him among the top-tier demons.

>>326881

>The reason it's SO SEVERE a punishment for them is because it's EXTREMELY hard to reverse for them due to the nature of how they're transformed.

It also artificially weakens them beyond just what you'd expect from a smaller body. And even then, magic works just fine so an Alice could still be a powerful and threatening demon, perfectly capable of leading armies and raping people on their own.

Remember that the typical Alice isn't just weakened from the Liddellium, they're also trash demons in the first place. A stronger demon like Lethice would have little problem being a child if she wanted to.


 No.326951

>>326884

>It also artificially weakens them beyond just what you'd expect from a smaller body

You mean the fatigue debuff? Don't you get eventually better?


 No.326953

>>326951

It sets your strength and toughness to 10. This discussion reminds me, is the guy who coded liddellium still here? If so, are you planning on putting the finished stuff in?


 No.326954

>>326951

Acclimating to the immensely weaker body happens eventually, yeah. That's why Telly is so perky and energetic.

Lust demons who become Alices are much slower to acclimate because their deep hunger to feed, sexually, adds to their weakness, but they, too, still acclimate eventually. That's not the entire problem though.

They have the physical constitution of a child. Take a healthy 10-year-old and I don't care if you're fat and sedentary, you can punch that twerp so hard their face implodes. They have very low mass, and that's a big hurdle.

On top of that, using black magic to alter their body on a more permanent level is stupidly hard for aforementioned reasons. Even if they were in chippy spirits and well-fed, the focus and energy it'd taek them to push a small improvement on their bodies would accelerate their hunger to feed, causing them to be incapable of focusing after just a small change. Alices are in a tight spot, assuming they're a lust demon. Any other kind would also be in a bind, but it's at least much more tolerable.

Permanent changing of the body can be done in pieces at a time with black magic. It is very hard, but possible. It is not an easy switch to massively change your body unless your most core obsession out of anything else is mastering black magic for the express purpose of manipulating your own body. Those types are likely not going to take the form of kids, though. They'd take the form of a methed up punk rocker with metal horns fused to their skull and a few foreign body parts attached from other people just to further push the limits of body modification.

>>326884

Greater caliber demons like Lethice and Akbal would be physically weak, but their magic is enough to be a serious threat to most foes.


 No.326955

a really dumb question can't alices just cast might?


 No.326956

>>326955

They can't easily cast any self-targeting body magic


 No.326957

>>326956

makes sense


 No.326958

>>326953

Well, now I am. Been gone for a while, though, so didn't know there was anything new done.


 No.326960

File: 5254257049c94b2⋯.png (41.37 KB, 703x733, 703:733, Untitled.png)

Is there anything unanswered about Alices in this?


 No.326965

>>326958

Satan wrote a dungeon thing back in January.


 No.326997

despite this whole topic, im just really hard now for the idea of a little kid who gets corrupted into lewdity and eventually becomes a horny loli/shota demon after getting so sex hungry they give up their humanity


 No.327000

>>326997

Turning into demon isn't that easy

There's reason why they are pretty much restricted to Mareth


 No.327001

>>327000

That reason being that corruption is currently (to our knowledge) only on Mareth, which you can't leave through portals. It's not like it's hard to become a demon once you're already there.


 No.327002

>>327000

>>327001

i was about to say, becoming a demon is insanely easy, probably the easiest transformation available

how easy it is to become heavily corrupted and go demon is kinda why demons are a problem to begin with in the lore

not to mention we have the blatant example of the huge balls guy for how easy it is for a human to up and go demon if theyre being corrupted by one already


 No.327004

>>327000

Becoming a demon is easy… But a demon that isn't some bottom gutter sex demon? That is another story


 No.327005

>>327002

>i was about to say, becoming a demon is insanely easy, probably the easiest transformation available

Except it isn't a transformation you can have. Demon-morph and demon are two completely different things.

>how easy it is to become heavily corrupted and go demon is kinda why demons are a problem to begin with in the lore

Looking at the other points you made, you don't know shit about the lore though.

>not to mention we have the blatant example of the huge balls guy for how easy it is for a human to up and go demon if theyre being corrupted by one already

He wasn't being "corrupted" by Lucia, dumbass, he had a deal with her to prevent just that. Only when he willingly lets her does she turn him into yet another lust demon.

Remember that suicide is always an acceptable strategy, you reddit spacing faggot.


 No.327006

>>327005

>Except it isn't a transformation you can have.

I think that's more due to dev laziness than any actual in-game reason.


 No.327007

>>327005

>accuses someone of not getting the lore

>cant even refute that a human dude can spit up his soul and go full demon on the dot

>nitpicks about gameplay & story segregation and demon varieties like its relevant instead

lol


 No.327012

>>327005

Hey dipshit have you tried at least glancing at the wiki before you run your mouth and make an ass of yourself? Theres at least two different bad ends where the player can go full demon at the drop of a hat, including becoming a high ranking one after having sex with the secretary succubus a single time and cumming your soul out, and the other coming from cum milker overuse and high corruption.

The demons are also stated many many times over in the base game to be able to corrupt other people into demonhood via rape and/or seduction, that people becoming corrupt sex addicts can lead to losing their humanity and becoming demons. It's absolutely within the realm of possibility that a sufficiently corrupted child could become a child demon.

So not only are you objectively wrong, but you're making a scene of how wrong you are


 No.327015

>>327006

>I think that's more due to dev laziness than any actual in-game reason.

When you become a demo, you become obsessed with what was important to you in life and hyper focus on that. Depending on how strong willed you are you can manage to still do other things, but pretty much every single lust demon will only ever feel importance about sex because of this. Due to this, you basically become a different person in a sense, and are definitely not the "champion" anymore.

>>327007

>cant even refute that a human dude can spit up his soul and go full demon on the dot

>on the dot

Do you even know what you type?

Lucia takes him back to her "lair" and fucks his soul out over an undisclosed amount of time. This is a text-based game, the basic assumption here is that you can read and type on at least a high school level.

>>327012

>Hey dipshit have you tried at least glancing at the wiki before you run your mouth and make an ass of yourself?

Great way to oust yourself even further by seemingly taking it personal, you reddit spacing cunt.

>Theres at least two different bad ends where the player can go full demon at the drop of a hat, including becoming a high ranking one after having sex with the secretary succubus a single time and cumming your soul out, and the other coming from cum milker overuse and high corruption.

And is that a transformation you maintain through gameplay? Is that an actual transformation or really just a single scene that the game ends after? You know the answer, but still try to argue your dumb semantics into this that it technically exists.

>he demons are also stated many many times over in the base game to be able to corrupt other people into demonhood via rape and/or seduction, that people becoming corrupt sex addicts can lead to losing their humanity and becoming demons.

I re-read about 10 posts back, and not a single person refuted this. Again, learn how to read you dumb mongrel.

>It's absolutely within the realm of possibility that a sufficiently corrupted child could become a child demon.

This is a completely different argument that has nothing to do with the current conversation. Do you have ADHD as well now?

>So not only are you objectively wrong, but you're making a scene of how wrong you are

Just slink back to where you came from, you thinly veiled reddit mutt


 No.327019

>>327015

>When you become a demo, you become obsessed with what was important to you in life and hyper focus on that. Depending on how strong willed you are you can manage to still do other things, but pretty much every single lust demon will only ever feel importance about sex because of this. Due to this, you basically become a different person in a sense, and are definitely not the "champion" anymore.

Okay, but what does that have to do with anything? A demon transformation would be a lot of work, so Fenoxo didn't do it. I don't see how your point refutes that at all. There is no lore-based reason that the player could not become and continue to play as a demon, considering that they are already able to become fully corrupted and do evil things.

>Great way to oust yourself even further by seemingly taking it personal, you reddit spacing cunt.

You're both assuming that he's the same guy and taking it way more personally than anyone else here. Also, the post you're replying to has normal spacing.

>You know the answer, but still try to argue your dumb semantics into this that it technically exists.

What are you even trying to say here? You were attempting to argue that turning into a demon is super difficult, but when people point out the many examples of characters turning/being turned into demons (often without much effort involved), you go straight to moving the goalposts.

>I re-read about 10 posts back, and not a single person refuted this. Again, learn how to read you dumb mongrel.

This literally makes no sense. Refuted what? And his point is very clear and indisputable—demons corrupt people in the game. That's the entire premise of the game.

>This is a completely different argument that has nothing to do with the current conversation.

How retarded are you? That is what this conversation is about, have you not been reading? >>326997 and >>327000 are the start of this argument.

>Just slink back to where you came from, you thinly veiled reddit mutt

"Everyone who disagrees with me is from Reddit" is just as bad as "everyone who disagrees with me is the same person," but you're double dipping on this one.

I don't know why you're trying so hard to insult people based on their reading comprehension when it's clear you can't follow this slow ass thread.


 No.327027

>>327019

>Okay, but what does that have to do with anything?

If you don't even understand when given the actual explanation of why you can't play as an actual demon in the game, I'm really wasting my time here.

>A demon transformation would be a lot of work, so Fenoxo didn't do it.

It wouldn't be, at all. It would be like any other transformation and adding some checks for them throughout the game.

>There is no lore-based reason that the player could not become and continue to play as a demon, considering that they are already able to become fully corrupted and do evil things.

My explanation of WHAT demons are is the lore-based reason, can you fucking read what people type out to explain this to your pea-sized brain already? Also, take note of how being corrupt doesn't equal being a demon.

>You're both assuming that he's the same guy

>You were attempting to argue that turning into a demon is super difficult

Great, you've fallen into your own pitfall there, pal. I never argued that turning into a demon is hard, unless you mean a non-lust demon, which is an incredible feat on its own as to what Lethice and the other wizards managed to do.

>How retarded are you? That is what this conversation is about, have you not been reading? >>326997 and >>327000 are the start of this argument.

And as you might notice, I've not once brought up anything related to that first post, you're complaining about the original topic when I never even touched upon it in the first place.

>"Everyone who disagrees with me is from Reddit" is just as bad as "everyone who disagrees with me is the same person," but you're double dipping on this one.

Yeah dude, lets just ignore the ridiculous genuine double spacing and then the fucked up sentence/paragraph spacing in >>327012, I'm sure that'll work out well when cancer like that is ignored.

I don't know why you're trying so hard to insult people based on their reading comprehension when it's clear that you're insulting someone who is insulting others for not being able to read when it's clear as day a problem on your end of the spectrum.


 No.327036

>>322759

This, I honestly wouldn’t mind the option to play as rip and tear type Paladin even though it kind of defeats the purpose of playing CoC instead of some other fantasy game


 No.327039

>>327027

>If you don't even understand when given the actual explanation of why you can't play as an actual demon in the game, I'm really wasting my time here.

Your point is that becoming a demon would change how the PC would act, but that's stupid, as you can already go from a normal person to a 100 corruption degenerate. A large portion of the game is about transforming yourself both physically and mentally, but Fenoxo decided to take furrybux instead of fleshing out the demon aspect. You still have not provided a LORE reason for why the player wouldn't be able to become a demon, which is what I've repeatedly asked from you.

>It wouldn't be, at all. It would be like any other transformation and adding some checks for them throughout the game.

Except all of the scenes that wouldn't make sense if you were a demon. The world would conceivably react to a kangaroo faggot fairly similarly as a human, but there are an extremely large number of interactions that would not work with a demon PC. And also, you're saying that it's not in the game because the player would act very differently, but that is feasibly writable, so it is indeed a question of effort.

>I never argued that turning into a demon is hard

Oh sorry, I took

>Except it isn't a transformation you can have. Demon-morph and demon are two completely different things.

to be some actual attempt at an argument, rather than a useless point about semantics that doesn't even really hold up. His point was that it's easy to transform into a demon, not that there is a demon transformative consumable.

>I've not once brought up anything related to that first post

Okay, but he was generally contributing the ongoing discussion. You seem to have some autistic assumption that everyone here is here to argue with you and you alone, and that people only care about how their ideas relate to yours, but you're just screeching and flinging shit while simultaneously derailing an actual productive conversation with your extremely pedantic concerns.

>lets just ignore the ridiculous genuine double spacing

Never said that, feel free to insult double spacers, but the other post's formatting is fine.

The main takeaway from this is that you don't actually disagree with the points of discussion here (transforming into a demon is not hard, it is conceivable that a demon could have a child form either due to being a child when corrupted or due to personal preference), but are instead vehemently sperging out over the specific way that one poster phrased something, which might imply that he's saying there's a demon TF item if you willfully ignore that that's not really his point there. You are not helping.


 No.327051

>>322759

Coder has said he'll add it if someone else codes it, but he won't code guro. Pretty sure a writefag submitted a few Paladin Rip-and-tear scenes before the chronicling began.


 No.327056

Why do the Goblins not just ask the Sand Witches about finding a way to make their own designated impregnator goblin?


 No.327057

>>327051

>Pretty sure a writefag submitted a few Paladin Rip-and-tear scenes before the chronicling began.

The first proper killing scenes were definitely on the first edition. Unless I'm forgetting something that predates those, but you can check for yourself in the archive in the OP at the first edition, it's all there. Those scenes long made it into the game, in case you were wondering.

>>326794

>>326828

Huh, never expected him to be back. I never got around to listing your content as you weren't posting anymore by the time I started listing things. I should still have those drafts saved somewhere, probably.

>>327036

I'm really not going to read this whole discussion, so if you implied something else than this don't take it as aimed at you. Since people seem confused on this, here's some clarification:

max corruption ≠ demon. You can be max corruption and you would still be just as far away from being a demon compared to no corruption. Being a demon is an all-or-nothing concept, if you lose your soul you become a demon, if you have it still you just have corruption inside of you. If you cum out your soul you become a lust demon who lives only for the carnal pleasures, Lethice, Akbal, and others like them are not lust demons and are on a completely different level.

demon-morph ≠ demon. A demon-morph only has the looks of a typical demon, but can be pure as snow while doing so.


 No.327058

>>327039

>Except all of the scenes that wouldn't make sense if you were a demon.

Mostly unrelated, but I've always found it odd how no one cares that you're a demon-morph.


 No.327073

>>327057

>I should still have those drafts saved somewhere, probably.

I'd prefer those drafts die in a fire honestly. I'll have something presentable soon enough.


 No.327085

Is Behemoth still in the game? I did not see anything in the changelog, and I've been through Vcrags over 100 times with no sighting.


 No.327090

>>327085

It's in the revamp changelog, not ours. Why are you looking?


 No.327093

>>327090

I just recalled him being there, for sparring. Circe in the Crag is new for me this playthrough, she's a nice addition.


 No.327101

so, anyways, sperglord aside, it would be pretty hot if there was a character that was a child that was corrupted and became a horny little pedobait demon


 No.327117

File: d47a68e567705fb⋯.jpg (68.06 KB, 550x382, 275:191, THUNK.jpg)

I wrote an extremely childish and morbid feature for shits and giggles: https://pastebin.com/w9RzWKAV


 No.327118

>>327117

>MC Must have witnessed the “Sexy Weasel” event in the Mountains.

What? I'm not seeing whatever this is, and the word "weasel" only appears once in the entire game, calling Giacomo a "weasely merchant" in an Arian scene.


 No.327119

>>327118

It's a reference to an earlier shitpost


 No.327120

>>327118

>Initial Scene:

>You