>>235
Your aversion to anti-depressants is wise, Anon. Just remember that they can be very useful as a gateway to a normal frame of mind. If you do use them, I advise to stay on them for about a month and be as productive as possible for that time. When you come off them, your brain will be somewhat rewired to a healthy routine. They're a great rope ladder out of the abyss, but many people seem to just hang onto it without climbing out.
Shitty metaphors and drugs aside, I reccomend exercise. Force yourself to do some pushups, or go for a short walk, anything. Force that into your routine, and incrementally do more and more. The endorphins will take care of the rest. Best of luck to you and the other Anon. Try to remember that what you're going through is perfectly normal. Many, many people before you have overcome this, and you're no different.