First time posting here
Have PTSD, and mdd
Lost son when I was 17, back on 2010(he was a 8 1/2 month still born)
Died due to really terrible family on gf's side, including herself.
Really fucked me up
For over 5 years I've been too afraid to live my life again.
Back in 2013 applied for ssi benefits cause I thought I needed it for the dars program(helps disabled Texans get training like trade school or college)
Just learned you don't need to be on ssi to get dars, literally wasted two years waiting for ssi which I didn't need, still no ssi.
Not even mad just disappointed in myself(not gonna dwell in it)
Contacted dars today, and set up an appointment.
Hopefully they can help me get a GED, and job training.
Scared out of my mind to make this step, but I need to get better, if not for me than for the memory of my son.
Also trying to get back into reading, and lifting as I'm a 300lbs blob at this point.
In a weird place with God, as I'm stuck between choosing the Catholic fath(family has been Catholic since way before the scism) and Eastern Orthodoxy.
Even if I make a choice now I'm too afraid to attend a gathering full if strangers, but think I'll eventually get past my fears if I keep on improving.
I'm honestly glad a board like this exists.